Note: I originally planned for a few more scenes to be included in this chapter before posting, but it's my birthday and I couldn't resist posting a chapter that has been fun to write after a fun day. Plus, it's gonna be a crappy week at work – so maybe this helps start my week off better!

Jonny beat Race to the car and started to tap the hood impatiently with his fingers when he found himself waiting. "Let's go," he mumbled under his breath, but immediately regretted it. Angry with himself for not heading straight to the hospital in the first place. Grateful that Race did not hear him complain.

Race was only a few steps behind him so they were on their way a moment later. Once in the car, Jonny transferred his nervous tapping to a knee and the center console simultaneously. His eyes darted around to every object the car zoomed by, but he was not actually seeing any of it. He thought about asking Race for a phone so he could call her, but quickly decided against that idea. He just wanted to get to her and he felt too ashamed of his actions to ask Race for anything right then. He thought about apologizing, but quickly decided against that too. He thought Race must be sick of his apologies after the last twenty-four hours.

"You talked to her?" Jonny asked hesitantly. He could not resist.

"I did," Race smiled.

"How did she sound?" Jonny swallowed. "Did she…how did she seem?"

"Like Jess," Race shrugged. "She only wanted to know how you were," he added. Sounding slightly annoyed and slightly amused at the same time. Like only Race could.

That did not make Jonny feel better. He wanted to take care of her. He did not want it to be the other way around. He wanted to know what happened to her and then he wanted to take care of her. He wanted to ERASE what happened to her. Thinking along those lines made him furious and made him feel sick to his stomach. So he closed his eyes and pictured her face. 'Stop it. Stop thinking about things you can't change,' he tried to convince himself. 'Think about her and what you need to do.' He opened his eyes slowly when Race spoke again into the silence of the car.

"I'm the only one responsible for putting her in any danger," he said. "Not you. My choices only," Race continued when he saw Jonny's reaction. Knowing how much guilt he was internalizing and hoping to at least stop it from growing.

Race said it firmly and Jonny wanted to believe him. Instead, he sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes hard. Trying to rub the exhaustion away. "I already said that I didn't mean it," he deflected. Not wanting to get into it again.

"I believe that you won't leave," Race acknowledged. "I never thought you would. But I don't believe for one second that you're done blaming yourself. I suppose there's nothing I can say to convince you otherwise…" he trailed off and waited for Jonny to respond, but Jonny stayed quiet. "You're too much like me sometimes, kiddo."

"I'm still SO angry," Jonny eventually whispered fiercely. He stopped tapping his knee and clenched his right hand into a tight fist.

Race noticed and pursed his lips. "Of course you are," Race shrugged. Trying to keep his tone casual and Jonny calm. "That's normal. You haven't had any time to process yet."

Jonny shook his head. "I can't direct it at HIM any longer," he spat and then fisted his other hand just as tight. "I don't know what to do with it, Race. I'm so damn angry."

Race could see the whites of Jonny's knuckles. That he was putting all of his energy into his hands. "Jonny…"

"I wish I could. I wish…"

"What?" Race pushed.

Jonny paused and his thoughts swirled. He almost ignored the question. "You told me not to say it out loud," he then admitted darkly.

Race glanced at the ceiling of the car, asking for strength and the right words. Knowing that Jonny needed to get it out. He had alluded to it before, but Race did not want to believe him. However, after watching that interrogation, he knew for sure it was true. "You can say it to me, kid. I understand."

"It wasn't self-defense," Jonny announced plainly. "And I'd do it again. I WANT to do it again."

"I know," Race started. "But…"

"Bartlett was right," Jonny rushed. "I was judge, jury and executioner."

"It's not that simple," Race interjected. "Don't act like it is. He had a weapon and every intention of using it. It was an emotionally charged situation. Not black and white. Don't let Bartlett get to you."

Jonny shook his head. "I wanted him dead. I decided to kill him. I decided," he cleared his throat. "I couldn't…I couldn't let him breathe the same air as her, Race. I just couldn't. I couldn't stand the thought that she might have to face him again. At a trial or a parole hearing some day. I was never gonna let that happen to her. I didn't want to chance it. I decided, Race. I remember the exact moment I decided and then I just waited for the right moment…and I don't regret it," he trailed off. The car got very quiet again.

"Jonny…"

"You saw the pictures?" Jonny interrupted before Race could rebuke him for saying all that. "The other ones," he clarified uncomfortably.

Race cleared his throat. "Some."

"Ravenstone," Jonny said quietly. "That was his last name. He…"

"I know," Race cut him off, but did not explain how he knew.

Jonny did not ask. It was Race. Of course he knew. "I.."

Race cut him off again. "I know everything, Jonny. I don't need to hear it again."

"Do you know that just saying his name makes me want to put my fist through this FUCKING WINDOW?" Jonny yelled.

Race sighed. "I did. Your clenched fists gave you away." Then Race placed a hand on Jonny's shoulder. "And it's not as simple as you're describing it. I wasn't there, but I know what happened. I know what he did and worse…what he would've done. I can guess the vile shit he spewed at you. Trying to get inside your head. I'm sure it was more disgusting than you've shared out loud. I know you can still hear him saying it. I also know it would've been harder to restrain him than you think and I don't believe it was worth the risk when you had three injured girls to worry about. I know he was a sick fuck that deserved to die and you did EXACTLY what I would've done."

Jonny deflated and slumped in his seat. "I appreciate that, but I don't feel guilty. I feel like I want to kill a dead man."

"Join the club," Race removed his hand from Jonny's shoulder and gripped the steering wheel tight. Jonny noticed.

"We could always go to town on these windows together." Jonny suggested lamely. "Maybe that will make us feel better? I'm sure all the lacerations would be a good temporary distraction anyway."

Race huffed. "I told my daughter we were on our way and that you were fine. Don't delay us with stiches, please? She'd probably blame me for not bringing you back in one piece."

"Probably," Jonny chuckled. "Are you mad that you didn't get to do it yourself?" he then asked boldly. He wanted to know.

"Yes," Race answered honestly. "But I'm not angry with you. Just the situation. I'm her father," Race looked at him briefly. "Every protective instinct you've developed. Every urge to defend her…I've had since the doctor handed her to me. She was mine to protect from that first moment," he paused. "Most important job of my life. Did I ever tell you about the day she was born?"

"No," Jonny sat up again.

"Craziest day of my life," Race smirked. "And that's saying something. I almost missed it. I was on my way home from a last minute assignment in Tanzania when Stel went into labor. She was angrier than I'd ever seen her when I left. And that's saying something too," he laughed. "She was less than a week from her due date and didn't want me to go. Can't say that I blame her. I shouldn't have gone. One of my biggest regrets. I've never admitted this before, but I told Estella that the assignment was mandatory. That I had no choice. It was a bold-faced lie. Phil knew how far along she was and gave me the option of staying home. I decided to leave."

Jonny stared at Race with wide eyes. "Why?"

"I was scared. Growing up, I had a great example of everything a father should be and I was convinced that I didn't have the gene. I freaked out. But all of that fear evaporated when I landed and got the call that Stel was in labor. All that mattered was getting to them. I could tell she was still mad when I got there, but relief trumped anger so she didn't kick me outta the room," he laughed wistfully. "It was a long labor. Twenty hours. So long enough for all my fears to start creeping back into my brain. But Stel was exhausted and in pain. I couldn't say anything to her about the way I was feeling. I knew she was scared too and I wanted to be strong for her. Our kid was coming whether we were ready or not…Stel wanted the sex to be a surprise. I fought her on it, but she insisted. I said that I wanted to know for practical reasons, but really I just want to prepare myself if it was a girl. Because…what the hell did I know about raising a baby. Let alone a little girl. At least a boy I could figure out."

Race paused long enough that Jonny thought he did not plan to continue, but then he took a deep breath and kept going. "We picked both names. It was either gonna be a Jack after my dad or a Jessie," he grinned. "The doctor let slip by accident that it was gonna be a Jessie. My heart froze, but not for the reason I expected. I can still hear his voice as if he's in the car with us saying 'you're little girl is having some trouble breathing folks, but I need you to stay calm. I'm gonna make sure she's just fine.' An abstract thought became my daughter in the span of seconds. She was in trouble and I was on the sidelines watching and waiting. I swore to myself in that moment..."

"Race?"

"When I finally got to hold her…that was that. I was a goner," Race chuckled.

"You weren't afraid anymore?" Jonny asked.

"Hell no," Race scoffed. "I was ten times more afraid, but she was half me and it was worth it."

"I don't know what to say," Jonny admitted.

"You and I…we've done a pretty good job these last few years. Navigating all this change. Not stepping on each others' toes when it came to her," Race continued. "I accept that things are changing again and you two are more serious now. We'll need to figure out how to navigate this next part too. But you need to know that I'm not ready to completely sit on the sidelines yet, kid."

Jonny nodded his understanding. "I don't think she's ready for that either. Honestly, neither am I. I was halfway to the hospital and then….you had to convince me to stop being an idiot. You shouldn't have had to do that, but you did. I chickened out."

"Doesn't sound like you," Race commented.

"I just need sleep," Jonny deflected, running a hand over his face. "I need to be with her and I need to sleep. Then I'll be fine."

"Why didn't you go right to the hospital?" Race pushed. "Seriously?"

Jonny paused before answering honestly. "I don't want her to see me like this, Race. So angry and…"

"I get it," Race cut him off. "But you can't bury the anger. That won't work. It will come out eventually and odds are you'll direct it at whoever's standing next to you. And that will probably be Jess."

"Great," Jonny grumbled. "Then I'll get to feel like shit during and after. That's exactly what I don't want." Jonny squeezed his eyes shut tight. "I don't want to do that to her. I want to take care of her. I don't want her to feel like she needs to take care of me…fuck."

"What?"

"She's gonna see right through me, isn't she?"

Race reached over and squeezed Jonny's shoulder again. "Yes, but that's not a bad thing. Take a walk when you feel yourself getting frustrated," he instructed. "Get some air, go for a run, call me and we can spar."

"Sounds easy enough," Jonny mumbled.

"The hard part will be talking to her about it when you get back," Race continued. "Cause she's gonna want to talk about it. Your instinct will be to brush it off like nothing happened. You'll tell yourself that you're doing it for her and that will be partly true, but you'd mostly be doing it for yourself," he sighed. "Don't forget the conversation we had outside the car dealership. Learn from my mistakes. Do better than me."

Jonny pressed his forehead against the window. The coolness of the glass felt good. "Can you remind me, please? I'm fuzzy on the details."

"Don't let your guilt take over," Race instructed. "Don't push her away or make it impossible for her to talk to you. Don't underestimate how strong she is either. Let her take care of you too. She'll want to. You know that. Don't be stubborn."

"That's a lot of what not to do," Jonny responded lowly. "Any advice on what I should do?"

"Be her best friend," Race squeezed his shoulder again. "The rest you'll figure out as you go. I promise."

Jonny gave a firm nod and his head suddenly felt less foggy. "Can you drive any faster?"

"No," Race laughed and then he sobered. "I'm proud of you, son. So proud. I wanted to tell you again in case you're fuzzy on that too. If it wasn't for you…I don't even want to think about it."

Jonny shook his head. "No…you always find a way. It's you. You would've this time too. I just couldn't stay behind."

"Well…it was nice to have the help," Race pushed against his shoulder playfully. "We make a good team."

That made Jonny smile genuinely.

XXX

"What do you need?" Estella jumped out of her chair when Jessie shifted the thin blue hospital blanket off her legs. Partly because she was dozing and the movement surprised her. They had all been hovering even more since she tried to escape.

"Mom, will you please go rest on one of the couches," Jessie admonished. "I'm not going anywhere. They should be here soon," she allowed herself a small smile. She was anxious to see that he was okay with her own eyes. And she really needed one of his hugs. "I just need to use the restroom."

Estella moved toward the bed. "I'll help you."

"I don't need help," Jessie sighed. "Besides, the doctor said it would be good for me to be up and moving around."

"No she didn't," several voices echoed at once.

"You know full well that Dr. Marshall wants you to rest, Jessie." Dr. Quest scolded her before the others could.

Jessie stubbornly slipped out of bed anyway, but leaned up against it to get used to standing. She crossed her arms and closed her eyes. Pushing the thoughts of nausea from her brain. Thankful that she was no longer hooked to anything. She thought that was a pretty good indicator. "I don't even have to have an IV anymore," Jessie swallowed and then opened her eyes. "I think I can walk to the bathroom. I love you, but you're all driving me nuts."

Dr. Quest was standing now too. His crossed arms matched Jessie's. She had still not pushed away from the bed and he did not like her coloring. "Sweetheart, when the doctor decides that the cost of you potentially ripping out another IV is not worth the benefit of putting it in, that's not an indicator that you should sign up for a marathon," he told her patiently.

Jessie scrunched up her face and was about to retort when Keri saddled up beside her and looped an arm through hers.

"I'll help her," Keri announced.

"I don't need…fine," Jessie conceded. She did need help. Her body was betraying her. Angry tears started to bubble up, but she stubbornly fought them off. Just like she stubbornly stared at the floor and focused on putting one foot in front of the other as Keri led her away from her family.

As soon as Jessie entered the bathroom, she flipped on the air vent for some semblance of privacy. She put the toilet cover down and sat down on it hard. Elbows on her knees and head in her hands. She heard Keri lock the door and sit on the edge of the tub in front of her. But then Keri popped up just as quickly and unlocked the door before sitting back down.

Keri shrugged when Jessie gave her a questioning look. "As much as I've enjoyed being locked in confined spaces with you…" she trailed off.

"Right," Jessie shook her head. Feeling stupid and then feeling the chill of their cell like they never left. She wrapped her arms around herself. "I've been trying to forget."

"How's that working out for you?" Keri asked, scooting off the edge of the tub and sitting on the floor instead. Wrapping her arms around her legs. Jessie followed suit. Hating to admit to herself that sitting on the floor was easier than balancing herself on the toilet.

"Pretty good," Jessie sighed. "Until I move anyway. Then my head swims and everything hurts. My stomach is in knots. When I think about why…"

"Yeah," Keri sighed.

"Sorry about my family," Jessie changed the subject. "I know they're intense, but they mean well."

"Are you kidding," Keri grinned. "I should be thanking you. This is a great distraction. I got pancakes and a show."

"Shut up," Jessie laughed. It hurt, but felt good.

"You're really lucky," Keri cleared her throat.

Jessie closed her eyes and felt guilty. "I am. I know I am. When do your parents get in?" she asked.

"A few hours," Keri smiled. "I feel awful. They've been saving for this vacation and talking about it for so long. I gave them crap about being away for the holiday, but only as a joke. I was actually looking forward to the quiet so I could get caught up on schoolwork and spend some time alone with Matt."

"Your boyfriend," Jessie grinned.

"Yes…no. I suppose he technically still is, but I don't think it's gonna work out," she scoffed. "He hasn't even come. Said it's all just too intense for him. I guess it is pretty intense."

"I'm sorry," Jessie rubbed Keri's arm

"I'm not," Keri shrugged. "I'm a little annoyed, but I'm not even sad. So what does that say? I have great friends and better parents. I don't need to waste my time with someone that never makes me feel important to him."

"You definitely shouldn't," Jessie advised and thought of Jonny again. She wished he would hurry. She wanted to tell him that she loved him.

"Thanks for trying to make me feel better though," Keri smiled.

Those words made Jessie feel the cold of the cell again and she knew it was due to more than the air circulating in the tiny bathroom. They were both in hospital gowns with scrubs underneath, warm socks and robes. It was sitting and talking to Keri like this that made her feel that way. The last thing she recalled was trying to make Keri feel better by assuring her that Jonny and her father would come for them. "The last thing I remember is talking to you," Jessie admitted. "Can you…fill in any blanks?"

Keri grabbed Jessie's hand, but did not start talking right away. Keri's eyes filled with tears. She looked up at the ceiling to try and quell them, but did not have much success. Jessie squeezed her hand in encouragement. "He definitely put something in the sandwiches he left us," Keri started. "Or the waters. I guess it doesn't matter which."

Jessie nodded. She had only had the water and was angry with herself for giving in and drinking it. She should have known better.

"When he came back the next morning," Keri's voice shook. "Brenda and I were awake. She was so afraid. She grabbed on to the bars when he came in to get her and I tried to hold on to her too. But he yanked her arm. Basically threw her out of the cell. Then you came out of nowhere and started wailing on him. You don't remember that at all?"

Jessie searched her memory, but had no recollection of that. Keri could tell by the look on her face.

"You did," she continued. "I froze though," she said ashamed and more tears followed. "You surprised him, but he grabbed you after a few moments. He threw you down so hard." Jessie unconsciously placed a hand over her hip, but kept listening. "And then he stood over you. He was furious. I thought he was gonna kill you right there in front of me, but instead he charged out of the cell and grabbed a needle. Brenda tried to run, but didn't get far. He injected you again and then chased her down. I just sat there. I didn't try to help either of you. I'm sorry."

Jessie could not find her words, but she squeezed Keri's hand again. Her other hand shifted from her bruised hip to her stomach. She felt sick again.

"He…tied Brenda down and then he came back in and grabbed you. He didn't even look at me as he locked the cell again."

"Don't stop," Jessie pushed. "Please. I want to know."

Keri cleared her throat. "I watched him cut off your clothes and throw them away," she added quietly. "Brenda too. Then I closed my eyes and I only heard. Brenda was crying and screaming while he... I tried block out the noise, but I couldn't. I remember that you started to scream at one point too. That felt like hours later though. I remember being startled by the new sounds so I looked without meaning to. He wasn't even touching you when you started to scream. After that, I couldn't look away…he didn't rape you," she then confirmed, letting go of Jessie's hand and rubbing her leg instead.

"He didn't get to me." Jessie closed her eyes again and gripped the fabric of her gown at her stomach. She did not think he had, but relief still washed over her at hearing someone else say it. Now she just had to figure out how to erase phantom hands. Even though she could not remember being touched. She could still feel him. "What else?" Jessie asked hollowly.

"He wasn't paying as much attention to you," Keri continued. "I'm guessing because you were knocked out and that's not as much fun," she choked out the last part.

"I guess I lucked out," Jessie said dryly. Sadly. They were both quiet for a while. Wiping at their faces and collecting themselves.

"I don't think it had anything to do with luck," Keri offered. Her voice was steady again. Jessie could tell she was strong and stubborn too. "Even if you were conscious, he had his…process. He was never gonna give you his full attention until he finished with Brenda," she finished bluntly. "That's the truth of it."

"God," Jessie covered her face with her hands and shook her head. She wanted to make it all go away. Every awful thought.

"God didn't save us," Keri huffed. "Your boyfriend did. Did he watch a lot of MacGyver growing up? Maybe Rambo?"

"Huh?" Jessie's hands dropped to her lap.

"He…"

A loud knock on the door made them both jump.

"Are you okay in there?" Estella asked through the door.

"Yes," Jessie responded immediately. "Just talking."

They were both quiet for another long minute after Estella walked away. Jessie's mind was racing and she was not sure what topic she wanted to land on yet. Keri spoke again before she could decide.

"So remember how I said that I have great friends?" Keri held up her tiny purse.

"Yep," Jessie acknowledged with a small smile.

"My girls dropped off an emergency travel beauty kit for me," she shrugged. "Want me to help you get cleaned up a bit for that boyfriend of yours? It's mostly a blur, but from what I recall he's not too terrible to look at."

That made Jessie laugh. This was a distraction she could get on board with. "I certainly like looking at him," she said softly.

XXX

Keri leaned back and smiled at Jessie. "You're one of those annoying people that looks great with just mascara and chapstick. I hate you," she quipped.

"Be quiet," Jessie rolled her eyes. "You're beautiful."

"I know," Keri gave a shoulder shake and then handed Jessie a hairbrush. "But it's nice to hear."

Jessie stood with Keri's help and brushed out the tangles from her hair in front of the mirror. She studied her face as she did it. Trying to figure out if she looked different. She felt different. Would people be able to tell? Would Jonny? The last time she stood in front of a mirror with similar thoughts was the morning after their first time. That made her smile.

"What are you thinking about?" Keri asked.

"Jonny," she smiled shyly. "I miss him." Then she handed the brush back to Keri and took a deep breath before opening the bathroom door. Her mom was right there to offer an arm and Jessie took it without arguing.

"You look good," Estella told her. "Your color is starting to come back."

"Thanks," Jessie nodded.

"Do you feel up to eating yet?" Dr. Quest asked.

Jessie still balked at the mention of food. "I can't. I know that will help me get my strength back quicker, but my stomach is still in knots. Can I have some orange juice though?"

"Hadji, can you help me?" Estella asked once they reached the bed.

"No," Jessie insisted, letting go of her mother to grip the bed and taking the orange juice that Dr. Quest had poured with the other. "I'm not ready to get back in bed yet." She finished the juice and then started to walk around the bed, using it as leverage. It felt good to be doing something.

Estella sighed. She was close, but not hovering. She waited until Jessie reached the foot of the bed before commenting. "Jessie, you're being so stubborn."

"It's a well-known character trait of mine," Jessie grumbled.

"Maybe even my favorite," Jonny called out from the doorway. "But there are too many good ones to choose from, babe."

She spun around at the sound of his voice. Surprised by his arrival even though she had been waiting for it impatiently. Several emotions competed for her attention at once when she saw him and they overwhelmed her. Relief because she finally had eyes on him. Worry because he looked exhausted. Grateful because she needed him. One hand gripped the bed because she was afraid she would fall over. The other unconsciously reached for him and then just as quickly went to cover her mouth. Trying and failing to conceal the sob that ripped through her lips. It was his fault. Her reaction to seeing him cry was immediate and visceral and completely out of her control. She did not realize it was physically possible to feel so much in the span of two seconds, but she also knew he did not wait a second longer than that before wrapping his arms around her waist. So it definitely was possible.

XXX

"Can you do me a favor?" Race asked.

"Sure," Jonny agreed immediately.

"We'll be there in a few minutes. I'll drive you up to the front door myself. Don't jump out of another goddamn moving vehicle while I'm driving."

"In my defense…"

"Find another way to give me a heart attack," Race interrupted.

"Noted," Jonny smiled and his smile grew when they entered the parking lot. The closer he got to her the more his anger seemed to fade. It was nothing compared to the prospect of being reunited with her. He could not wait to see her and hold her and talk to her. He was even looking forward to the moment she yelled at him for hovering. The predictability of that was comforting. The normalcy of it. He craved it. He wanted to feel normal with her again. He would deal with all the other bullshit later. He could handle it as long as he knew she was waiting at the end of the tunnel.

His fears on how to handle everything did not fade, but the anger did. He kept his promise and did not jump out of the car while in motion, but he did bolt without a word the moment Race pulled up to the front door of the hospital. He went right for the stairs at a sprint. He knew the elevator would be faster, but not by much and he wanted to keep moving. When he reached the landing of her floor, he leaned back against the wall for a moment to catch his breath. Then he got down on his haunches, folded his hands and bowed his head.

"Thank you," he whispered and lifted his head to the sky. "Thank you. Please don't let me fuck up this part either."

He stood and opened the door with a smile. 'Keep it together, Quest.' He told himself one last time. He walked to her room at twice his normal pace, but slowed when he caught sight of her through the window to her room. Her back was to him and she was walking around her bed. All eyes in the room were on her. Ready to pounce if she fell. His reaction to seeing her up and alert, instead of groggy or unresponsive, was instantaneous. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away. His mind was screaming for him to retreat back to the stairwell. To collect himself and think up another pep talk. His feet kept moving forward though.

He leaned against the doorway unnoticed and stared at the back of her head like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Everyone in the room was trying to take care of her for which he was eternally grateful and knew was likely driving her crazy.

"Jessie, you're being so stubborn." Estella announced, but it did not come off as critical. Just a statement of fact.

"It's a well-known character trait of mine," Jessie grumbled.

"Maybe even my favorite," Jonny interrupted. "But there are too many good ones to choose from, babe." He felt every eye in the room turn to him. More incentive to keep it together and be strong for her. He knew he was fighting a losing battle the moment she spun around and their eyes met though. He tried desperately to read her face. Hoping it would tell him what she needed. His heart skipped a beat as her eyes tore into his. What did Hadji tell him? Anxiety can cause heart palpitations? Fuck that. It was all her. He could tell she did not feel great, but she was standing in front of him. Strong and determined. Alive and warm. The beautifully stubborn girl that he worshipped. His beautifully stubborn girl. And he was hers. Completely. He did not bother wiping away the silent tears that flooded his eyes without permission and rolled down his face in a steady stream at the sight of her.

He took two large strides into the room and then dropped to his knees in front of her. Wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in her stomach. "I missed you," he mummered softly. Not trusting his voice. "I missed you so much."

Jessie's hands went to his head and started to instinctively run through his hair before she fully registered his reaction. She stared down at him in surprise for a moment. She had never seen him like this. His strong shoulders were shaking and he kept fisting the material of her robe tighter, but did not tighten his arms around her. She wanted him to. She wanted his touch to erase everything bad.

She sank down into his embrace without thinking. Planting her knees on the ground astride him and wrapping her arms around this neck.

"Are you…"

"I love you," she cut him off before he could ask if she was okay. She wrapped herself around him tighter. Hoping to prove her point. Her muscles screamed at her, but she did not care. She wanted him to hold her. "I love you," she said louder and then buried her face in his neck and cried too. Overwhelmed. "I love you so much," she whispered into his skin.

XXX

Jessie did not want to let go. And Jonny did not seem too interested in the idea either. But once they both stopped crying, she sat back and pulled his face between her hands. He did the same. They each wiped at the other's cheeks and smiled in the process.

"Are you okay?" they asked at the same time.

"Yes." Simultaneous.

They stared at each other like grinning idiots until she ended it.

"What happened with the FBI?" she asked pointedly. She needed to know that it was over. That he was not in trouble.

Jonny pushed some hair behind her ear and cleared his throat. "I gave my statement," he shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm sorry I was gone so long. I wanted to be here when you woke up."

"I know you were arrested," she called him out immediately. Jonny looked at his father briefly and then back at Jess. "Why are you looking at him? How long did you expect him to lie for you?" she yelled, but then her face immediately fell and she started crying again. Her hands dropped from his face and she gripped the front of his shirt with both. She ducked her head under his chin. She was angry, but did not want him to go. "Don't leave."

"I'm not going anywhere," Jonny rubbed her back and hoped it made her feel better. "I didn't ask anyone to lie to you, Jess. But I did ask them to take care of you and keep you here. I guess the line can get blurred," he sighed. Feeling even more exhausted after crying again.

"Is it over?" she then asked simply, lifting her head and looking at him with big vulnerable eyes.

"I promise," he kissed her forehead. "And I also promise that I'll tell you everything about the last few hours later, but the bullet points are I gave my statement and they released me."

She hugged him tightly again and rested her head on his shoulder. Then her eyes found her father, who was standing in the doorway watching them. He smiled at her and nodded. "Okay," she sagged in relief. "Okay."

"Why are you out of bed?" It was Jonny's turn ask questions.

"The doctor said I should move around," she responded knee-jerk. Jonny immediately looked over her shoulder at his father, who shook his head no. "That's not true," she then admitted, sitting back again so she could look at him. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I couldn't be in that bed another minute. I was going stir crazy.

"Jess…"

"Remember a few minutes ago when you said you liked how stubborn I am," she grinned a little and leaned her forehead against his.

"Love it," he clarified. "And I really love how you weaponize my own words against me. That's just my favorite," he teased. She laughed softly and ran her fingers through his hair. Feeling half-normal again. Wishing they did not have an audience. "I want you to get back in bed and rest," he told her a moment later.

"Alright," she conceded easily for once. She was tired and happy to do it if it would make him feel better.

"How did you manage to injure yourself while I was gone?" he then asked, rubbing at the bandage on her arm. "This wasn't here when I left." He felt her sag a bit in his arms.

"I promise that I'll tell you everything about the last few hours later," she said in a higher pitch than her normal talking voice. "But the bullet points are that I'm fine and I'm so glad you're here right now."

"Nice try," he huffed. "That's not gonna work for me."

"I ripped out my IV when I tried to leave," she admitted quickly and looked down at her lap. "I thought you needed me."

Jonny was not happy about it, but did not see the point in arguing either. He took a deep breath to calm himself. "So how many escape attempts did you mount?" he asked lightly, while wrapping one arm around her waist and reaching up to grab the bed for leverage with the other. He stood.

Jessie closed her eyes and wrapped herself around him. "Just one," she promised softly, resting her head against his.

He could hear the exhaustion in her voice and suddenly nothing else mattered. He only cared about making her feel better. He kissed the side of her head as he moved around the bed. Intent on making her rest. "Just one attempt. I really appreciate your restraint, baby. Thank you."

"Your welcome," she laughed out loud. She could not hold him any tighter so she settled for gripping his t-shirt with her hands. "Thank you for making me laugh."

"One of my main missions in life, beautiful. And I did need you, but I needed you to stay put more." He missed the feeling of her in his arms the second she let go, but he was grateful that she let him tuck her back into the bed without a fight. He was about to sit on the edge and hold her hand until she feel asleep when he recognized the look on her face. "Oh shit," he grumbled.

Four things happened almost simultaneously. Jonny jumped off the bed and grabbed the first object he saw, which was unfortunately a bedpan. Jessie sprang up into a sitting position and started to throw up into it. Jonny held her hair back at the nape of her neck until she stopped with a low moan of displeasure. Then he pushed the blankets aside and took her back in his arms. Bridal style. He carried her to the bathroom quickly, trying not to jostle her too much, and placed her down by the toilet. He knew she would not want him to hover so he busied himself by taking the bedpan from her hands. He quickly cleaned it and left it on the floor outside the bathroom. Then he rummaged around until he found a clean toothbrush and toothpaste for her. After that, he could not help himself. He sat on the edge of the tub and rubbed her back as her body heaved, but nothing else came out.

She flushed a few minutes later and put the toilet seat down. Then she rested her head on crossed arms atop it. Looking miserable. Jonny moved off the tub and sat as close to her as possible. He hesitantly pushed some hair from her forehead and then caressed the side of her face. He relaxed when he saw that the gesture made her close her eyes and relax too.

"When's the last time you ate, Jess?"

"It's been awhile," she swallowed. "I think lunch. The day before…" she trailed off.

Jonny looked away for a moment and then back at her closed eyes and pale face. He wanted to let the anger take over, but managed to ignore it. He softened again when he focused on her instead, rubbing his thumb across the apple of her warm cheek. "You have no idea how much I love you," he told her.

She opened her eyes and stared at him. It made his heart jump again. "I do," she protested.

"No," he argued. His eyes welled again, but no tears fell this time. "You couldn't. Because I haven't told you yet…I just…with the last few days I haven't…I haven't showed you yet," he fumbled. "You have no idea how much I love you, Jessie Bannon."

She kept staring at him. Jonny thought she must have blinked at least five times before saying it again. "I do know. You don't have to say it out loud or do anything crazy for me to know. I just know. I'm the brains in this relationship," she smiled. "Remember? I usually figure things out and then wait for you to catch up," she teased.

That made him laugh loudly. Surprising them both. "Alright…Ivy League. If you're the brains, then what am I?"

"Definitely the ass," she continued to tease him. "Strong arms, great…great hands. I love your hands and your face too."

"I'm the hands of our relationship?" he chuckled. "What does that mean exactly?"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I've lost the thread of my point, babe."

"Don't worry. When you're brains fail you, you have a great ass to fall back on."

She smiled again. "Shut up, idiot." Then her face fell just as quick. Like it hurt to be happy for too long. "I love you so much." Her voice cracked on the last word. He pulled her into his arms. "I love you," she mumbled into his neck. "So much."

He held her until she got it all out and pulled back on her own. He watched as she composed herself and wished he could do more for her. "We'll be okay," he swore to her.

"I know," she gave him a brave smile. "Just like I know how much you love me. I feel it when I'm with you. Always."

Hearing her say that made him feel a little better. He helped her up when she started to stand and guided her over to the sink. She leaned against him while brushing her teeth and gripped the sides of the sink when she finished. Jonny noticed that she avoided looking at herself in the mirror and that bothered him.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he told her quietly, slipping his hand under her hair and massaging her neck.

She hugged him again and buried her head in chest. "This is literally the worst I've ever looked," she grumbled miserably.

"And yet I mean it," he kissed the shell of her ear

"And I believe you," she pressed her lips into his sternum firmly. "Okay…I admit that I need sleep. I'm barely keeping my eyes open," she sighed. "No…no," she grabbed the collar of his t-shirt and pulled when he leaned down to pick her up. "I can walk."

Jonny straightened and wrapped his hands around her face. "Indulge me…please? Let me carry you."

"Fine, but not bridal style. I don't like being carried like that," she informed him. "Just carry me like you normally do." He furrowed his brow. "Quest, you've carried me to bed plenty," she huffed.

"Jess," he cleared his throat.

"I didn't mean that to sound…I didn't mean anything by it," she trailed off and looked away. It was a few heartbeats before she met his gaze again. "Being carried like a baby makes me feel weak and not in control." She licked her lips and pressed the palms of her hands against his sides.

"And being carried the other way…"

"Makes me feel like yours," she interrupted. "And I'm good with that. Piggyback is fine too…Okay?" she asked when he went quiet. She could not place the look on his face.

"Of course," he kissed her forehead and pulled back with a grin on his face. "I was just making a mental note to remember that when you make me the happiest man alive. No bridal style over the threshold. Check."

She smiled. Picturing that was a good distraction. "I MAY be willing to bend to that tradition if it makes you happy, babe."

He pressed his forehead to hers so their eyes were close together. "Hmm…any other traditions you might be willing to bend to when you marry me…if it makes me happy?"

She kept his stare. "It's not fair to ask me that when I'm feeling so vulnerable."

"Since when do you play fair?" he laughed. "I'm trying to keep up with you."

She did not laugh. She was still looking at him seriously. Talking about the future made her worry it would not come. "Are you sure the FBI isn't coming back for you?" she asked quietly. Afraid he would leave. Afraid he would be taken away. "I don't want you to go."

"I'm not going anywhere," he reassured.

"I know you don't WANT to," she said frustrated, but quickly deflated. "I'm sorry…I'm all over the place."

"You don't have anything to apologize for," he insisted. "But I know how you feel…in case it helps to know that. I've apologized to your dad several times for the same thing over the last few days. I wasn't exactly a model of emotional stability. He kept telling me I didn't have anything to apologize for. I didn't believe him until right now. I don't want you to apologize for the way you feel. Not with me. It's wasted on me."

"I promise to try if you will," she lifted onto her toes and kissed the tip of his nose.

"You've got a deal," he pulled her closer and lifted her off the ground. She wrapped herself around him naturally and nuzzled her face into his neck. "You're alright," he whispered. "Because I've got you. And I'm not leaving. And I'm alright too for the same reason. We'll figure it out together, baby. I promise you."

Jonny emerged from the bathroom and headed straight for the bed. He registered the hushed tones of their family speaking together on the other side of the room and that they stopped talking when he walked out carrying her. He appreciated that they had been giving them some space, but they all moved closer to the bed as he did.

When he tried to tuck her in, she did not make it easy on him. He untangled her legs from his hips easy enough, but when he leaned over to rest her against the pillow she would not release his neck. He reached back and circled his hands around her wrists, but that caused her to tense and grip him harder. "Jess?" he prodded gently.

"Can you say it again?" she asked, sounding unsure.

"You're alright," he whispered in her ear. "We'll figure everything out together, Jess. I promise you."

She let her arms slip away then and curled up as best she could on her uninjured side. Jonny wrapped the blankets around her and sat on the edge of the bed. Grabbing her hand the moment she was settled. Resuming his original plan to hold it until she fell asleep. Until he convinced himself she was really okay.

"Is this the romantic reunion you imagined?" she sighed, closing her eyes. Jonny stared at her face as it relaxed and drifted closer to sleep. She was almost there that quick. He smiled down at her. Feeling truly happy and content in that moment. "Hmm?"

"Yes," he rubbed her arm with his other hand. "But all you have to do is show up and I'm happy. You're the one that's SLIGHTLY more complicated to please," he pointed out.

She raised a hand as if to slap at him, but it fell just as quickly back to the bed. "I know," she said instead. "Can you say it again?" she asked slowly.

He bent over and kissed her temple. "Go to sleep, Jess. I'll tell you when you're conscious. You'll feel better after you get more rest. Stop fighting it."

"Love you," she mumbled.

He smiled again before answering. "I love you more, stubborn. I'm glad you figured out just how much before I did. And I hope you use it against me forever."

AN: Looking forward to writing a Jessie and Race reunion. Was originally gonna wait to post this and include that here plus a few more J&J scenes. But now something to look forward to. Yay for me.