Chapter 12:
"So as the maid of honour I guess I need to know when the wedding will be?" Konan asked with a smile. The two women had decided to sit in Unmei's bedroom and discuss everything that happened while Unmei went on the mission.
"I have absolutely no idea! I'm actually not sure if we're officially engaged, I mean, he asked if I would marry him and I did say yes, but I'm not sure if he meant it like I would marry him now or like I'd marry him if he asked me in the future to marry him? I am a bit confused, to be honest." Unmei confessed to Konan a bit sheepishly. She knew she was being a bit technical about the subject, but she liked knowing things precisely instead of vaguely. She knew someone's life just by looking at a piece of string, after all.
"I understand, we'll just have to put off planning until he clarifies his intent, I suppose." Konan smiled at Unmei, but to Unmei her smile seemed a bit distant.
"Is something else on your mind, Konan? You seem a bit distracted?" Unmei asked in concern.
"Well, if I may confide in you, there is something that has been bothering me as of late. It's something that I've known for quite a while and have been fine with, but I'm not so sure any more." Konan confessed.
"Sure you can tell me anything?" Unmei said as she rested a hand on top of Konan's arm in comfort, which is something that Emiko would always do to Unmei when she was bothered by something. It seemed as if Konan found comfort in the gesture as her shoulders relaxed a bit and she went on to tell Unmei what was bothering her.
"So you mean to tell me that we're a part of an organisation that plans to kill a few people with beasts sealed inside of them because... we want to live in a fake world?" Unmei stared at Konan, hoping that she misheard her.
"It would be a better world, wouldn't it?" Konan responded. She had told Unmei of leader's plans because she trusted her. Why would she stray from a group that her soul mate was unendingly loyal to?
"Do you really think it'll be a better place? Wouldn't you want to know that any happiness you feel is real?" Unmei asked Konan, hoping to convince her otherwise.
"I'm not sure. I know that it's what leader-san wants. I also know that in a world like that, even if the happiness is fake, the pain will not exist, war will not exist, and I would very much like to not have any pain in my life. I think I've had enough of it at this point."
Unmei looked at Konan with pity.
"I understand feeling pain, and I understand not wanting to feel pain. More than anyone, I think I understand what it means to take real happiness away just to not feel the pain any more. For years I took away my emotions just to not feel pain, but do you know what happened when I did that?" Unmei asked with saddened eyes.
"What happened?" Konan questioned.
"I just didn't feel anything. I had gone through those years as an empty shell. I didn't live a life because I didn't have one to live because I simply didn't feel alive. To feel pain is to live, to survive is to live. If you don't fight and survive, if you don't live through pain, how can you possibly value the happiness you have? What's happiness worth if it has no meaning?" Unmei ranted. She, more than anything, understood not wanting to have bad experiences. She was sheltered as a child and then forced to face life head on unexpectedly. She understood not wanting to go through that, but she also understood that she wouldn't value her happiness so much if she didn't experience those things.
"I think I understand." Konan nodded. She looked down to the ground in thought.
"Look, I'm not trying to change your beliefs, I just think that I personally wouldn't find happiness in a place where I didn't earn it, just think about it, okay? Are those people's lives really worth it? At the end of the day, your pain and experiences aren't more important to their lives. What's peace worth if you have to sacrifice people to get it?" Unmei didn't want to give up random people's lives for a happiness she didn't deserve. Sure she was an assassin and killed many people before, but she wouldn't take lives just for her own happiness.
"I agree that I have some thinking to do when it comes to this. Thank you for your insight, I appreciate it a lot." Konan smiled at Unmei.
"I'm glad I could offer some help. If you need anything you can come to me, al right? You're a good person and a good friend, Konan, I'll help you wherever I can." Konan looked taken aback by the statement, but seemed happy nonetheless.
"I'm being too emotional, aren't I?" Unmei laughed at herself and by the slight laugh that Konan gave, she knew she was right.
"Maybe a little bit, but it is not unwelcome, just unfamiliar." Konan stated.
"You see, I'm finally becoming myself again. After being near Kisame so much for the past week, goodness has it only been a week? I feel like years have passed at this point. Anyway, after spending so much time with the person I am fated to be with and talking things out, I am regaining my emotional capacity. However, it may present a bit too prominently at the start." Unmei admitted sheepishly.
"It's not a problem, I actually like this side of you, it's refreshing compared to the other people in the organisation." Konan laughed.
After Unmei had finished speaking with Konan and unpacking, she realised that she had not had a proper meal or time to herself in a week, so she went to the common kitchen to see what she could cook up, but to her disappointment she only found some rice and dried protein. Unmei didn't feel like eating rice and dried protein, so she decided that even though she wanted some time for herself, she'd enjoy it if Kisame joined her for lunch in the small village nearby where Konan took her clothes shopping.
Looking down at her left pinky finger, she decided to follow the thread connecting the two to find where he is, so she, for the first time in a long time, touched her own string in a gentle way instead of a way that suggests that she's about to kill someone. The string became brighter at her touch and her heart swelled with warmth so she dropped the string in surprise. Since the very first time she had used her string to kill Kisame's mentor, her string had never felt like that. It had always felt like a weapon, a simple, unfeeling string to be used. Now it felt alive, like a part of her.
Reluctantly, she picked up the string gently again. It glowed brighter in her hand as she inspected it and felt like it was pulsating. It felt like it was alive and had a heartbeat and as she gently stroked one finger across the string she could feel her heart constricting in a pleasant way, like someone was giving her a warm hug when she really needed it. It felt foreign to Unmei, but she liked it, so she kept holding on to the string as she followed it to Kisame.
The string had led her outside and after a few more minutes she found herself in a secluded training spot surrounded by trees. Unmei noted that she could hear a waterfall nearby and saw a river not too far from where she was standing. Her attention was drawn away from her surroundings as she focused on the image in front of her.
Kisame must have come out here to train alone, however, currently he was just staring at Unmei with eyes that looked shocked and a hand clutched to his heart. Unmei became scared when she saw him like that, afraid that something might be wrong with him, so she rushed over to his side, letting go of the string in the process.
"Sa-me, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Unmei asked frantically. She looked his body over but didn't see any wounds on his body so she feared that any damage he had sustained might be internal. Unmei stood in front of him, taking the hand that he was clutching to his chest and looking it over for any damage. She didn't see anything so she held her other hand against his chest to feel for any abnormalities.
"What are you doing?" Kisame asked Unmei with a raspy voice.
"You weren't answering me and you looked like you were in pain! What's wrong?"
"My heart felt really weird just now, I can't explain it, it got warmer and almost felt like..." Kisame looked like he was trying to find the right words.
"Wait... did it feel like someone was giving you a hug? But like, from the inside?" Unmei asked. It dawned on her that if she felt the string like that then maybe Kisame did, too.
"Yeah! Did you feel it too? What was that?" Kisame asked and Unmei laughed sheepishly.
"Ah, well, you see, I was looking for you because I wanted to know if you'd like to go and get some lunch with me, but I couldn't find you so I followed the string. Usually I don't hold the string and just follow it but I just felt like I wanted to hold it so I did. I also felt like that when I held the string, so maybe you felt like that for the same reason?" Unmei blushed as she tried to explain herself.
"I see. Isn't the string kind of like, your soul?" Kisame asked in a serious matter.
"No, not really, it's just the destiny that connects your soul to another soul, so it's connected to your soul but it isn't your soul itself." Unmei had asked that very same question to Ghost when she had started her training. She didn't want to mess with someone's soul, that just made her feel dirty.
"So what I'm getting from this is, for some reason, you touched the thing connected to my soul?" Unmei's face had become a few shades redder.
"Yes." Unmei squeaked.
"Why?" Kisame looked incredibly neutral.
"It looked brighter than usual. It was beautiful. I... I didn't think of it as touching the thing connected to your soul, I thought of it as touching the thing connected to mine." Unmei put her hands over her face. It felt like she had just seen someone naked by accident and now they were questioning her about it. If Unmei had looked at Kisame she would have noticed a small blush on his cheeks as well.
"I forgot that we're connected in a literal sense. I mean I know you said that we're soul mates but I guess I thought of it as a concept instead of something you can touch. I.. liked it, the way I felt just now. It was nice." Kisame said slowly, carefully. Unmei looked up at him.
"I liked it too. It reminded me of something."
"What?" They didn't break eye contact.
"When we were younger and I was scared at night and I would go and sleep next to you. It reminded me of the times when you held me. It reminded me of seeing you laugh. It reminded me of the times you'd protect me. I guess it just felt like... you." Unmei had a look in her eyes that looked familiar and foreign to Kisame at the same time. He had seen the same kind of look on her when they were kids, but it was never that intense. It felt like he was drowning in her eyes and he didn't want to look away, but he didn't have to because Unmei did.
"I'm sorry, I was being weird. My emotions are coming back so it's a bit extreme at the moment. Anyway, do you want to go and get lunch with me?" Unmei kept her gaze to the ground.
Kisame cupped her face with his hand and lifted her head so she'd look at him.
"Sounds good to me."
He closed the gap between them and kissed Unmei.