Demon Eyes Chapter 10: From the Eyes of Gaara, a naruto fanfic

-10-

From the Eyes of Gaara

At three years old, I had resigned myself to the understanding that I was alone, with the exception of my Uncle Yashamaru. The rest of my family were too wary of me, and I knew that wasn't how other families worked. I saw other families together. They hugged and joked around, sometimes they teased one another, but they rarely looked to scared. They never looked so scared of the youngest member of the family.

It wasn't just my family was afraid of me. Parents told their children to avoid me, to never talk to me, and to never make me angry. When ever I asked to play with the other children, they would only run away. There were times when I hurt the other children, but it was never on purpose...I had only meant to stop them from running away...not to break their legs, or to kill them.

At first, I didn't even know I was hurting them, since I'd never suffered an injury. My sand kept me safe from all the people that tried to hurt me...of course, my sand ended up killing them in the end as well. When my uncle told me that I was hurting them, I realized I was only fueling their fear. I tried my best to stop my sand from hurting them, but it was hard to control sometimes.

Then, one day, I saw someone like me. People were scared of her. Even I was, although my Uncle hadn't told me why I should be afraid of her. He just said what parents told their children about me. Avoid her, never talk to her and don't make her angry. When I saw her, I thought what he said was right. She was a small girl around my age, with dark red hair...kinda brownish, like a burgundy colour, and her eyes were a strange shade of orange. Amber, maybe? From where I was on a roof, I thought there was something strange about those eyes, besides their colour.

She was standing with three other girls, but one girl was yelling at her. The red haired girl turned away from them and was about to walk away when she suddenly stopped dead. She tilted her head to the side like she was thinking. She spun on her heel asked if they wanted her to be like 'that' lady, and if they wanted her to be scary. Then, she started laughing and chased after them, all over the village, until all four of them were lost.

I had to agree with my Uncle after that. She was scary, with her strange amber eyes, her scary smile, her creepy laughter and later I thought even the way she spoke to the other girls...it was a bit like she was only pretending to be a kid.

It didn't help that she was 'that' lady's child. I had heard about her too. She used to be a Missingnin, but my father let her and her husband into the village. Saki Shimizu was a monster, in some ways. She poisoned people for getting too close to her, or doing anything to any her. She even threatened my father. Uncle Yashamaru said she was insane, and she enjoyed hurting other people, which was what made her all the more dangerous.

For the next month, I kept spotting the girl and 'that' lady around the village. Her mother was always clinging to her hand, like she was trying to hold the girl back. I wondered if she was going to attack anyone who got to close. It was strange though, because the girl never looked like she wanted to attack anyone, unless they said something rude about her or her mother...of course, anyone would try to attack someone insulting their mother...right?

She just looked...curious. Like she wanted to see everything.

I never stuck around for long. As soon as I saw them I made sure to change direction and get away as soon as I could.

One day, I was surprised to see that 'Saki' had taken her daughter to the park. All the other children left with their parents within a few minutes of their arrival. I left too, but not before spotting the girl looking around at all the people leaving. She seemed to smile, but in a strangely condescending way.

Once again, the expression wasn't scary. It was just like she wasn't surprised by the way people reacted to her, and a little disappointed that they failed to surprise her.

The more often I spotted her in town the less dangerous she seemed. She didn't chase people or actually attack anyone. Something was off about her, but was she really a monster?

Maybe she was just lonely?

She was at the park again. This time there was a man with her, rather than 'that' woman. Her father. He looked a great deal like both his wife and his daughter. They were from the same clan then. There weren't many clans in Suna, and any clans that were there were small and quite new.

I'd heard about him. Some people said he was a nice person. Others said he had really bad luck. A man who often spoke with my father, his adviser of a sort, said he was just as insane as 'that' woman.

People left as they usually did when she showed up, but I couldn't help but stay.

She and the man stayed in the park. For the most part the man read from a book while the girl race around the park, playing by herself. She looked really bored.

I knew the feeling. I had to play all alone too.

I sat on the seesaw, using my sand to hold my end up and weigh the other end down. It wasn't as fun as I thought it would be if there was another person to move the other end.

When the sun started going down, and her father started packing their things, I spotted her, staring at me. She said something to her father and he looked up at me for a moment. I imagine he said something to her about avoiding me like all the other parents did. To my surprise she started walking towards me, looking completely at ease while her father continued packing.

"Hi."

I could see the fear in her strange eyes, but I was positive I was more afraid of her than she was of me.

"I'm Aisako, who are you?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

I felt my own eyes widen. I hadn't known her name. A part of me didn't even think she had one. She was just the monster my Uncle told me to avoid. Aisako. Loved child? That...hardly sounded like the name of a monster.

I answered her, knowing it was polite to do so...I never had to introduce myself before. I know I wasn't supposed to talk to her, but if I didn't answer, she could have gotten angry. I didn't want to find out what would happen then. What if she was like me, and something hurt me because she was angry?

"Gaara? I'm...I'm not supposed to talk to you." She whispered it, but she looked amused, rather than nervous.

"Neither am I." I told her the truth, since she seemed to be telling me the truth too. Something in her expression changed, like she didn't believe me, and then she was even more amused.

She walked closer me, the movements slow and careful. It reminded me of a cat circling a wounded bird, slinking and ready to pounce. Although, instead of pouncing, she sat on the other end of the seesaw. I was raised upwards.

"I don't see why. You don't seem dangerous."

"My Uncle says you aren't natural."

She had a weird expression, like she wanted to grin, or laugh. Like what I had said amused her more than anything. Her strange eyes narrowed slightly. This close to her, I could tell it wasn't the colour that made them strange, for sure this time. It was the look in them. Something...older?

We talked for a little while longer...about her being unnatural, and her asking if I was dangerous. I don't know why, but I told her about my sand, how I hurt people. She didn't seem alarmed. Her response was...a little unnerving, but even at my young age I knew it was true. I hurt people, she hurt people...our parents hurt people. We lived in a shinobi village.

Our talk was ended by her father's panicked shout. For a moment something flickered on her face again, some strange exasperation, and a far away look, like she was remembering something...good?

"Well. Daddy's panicking. I better go...Don't kill anyone."

And then she was gone.

It was a long time before I spoke to her again. I saw her from time to time, but she was always in what I suspected was her home. She looked bored. But that was only during the day. Some nights, I saw her. Up on the rooftops. She'd stare up at the moon, or run from roof to roof. The first few times I was almost...worried. There were a number of times where I was sure she nearly died. She also took a lot of naps out in the open.

I made sure she never saw me. I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to her again. While she hadn't been...scary...when I spoke to her at the park, there was something off about her eyes, and the way she spoke. That and my Uncle continued to warn me away from her.

One night though, I was bored. My Uncle was one a mission and I hadn't spoken to anyone in days. I was...more lonely than usual. I wasn't sure why, but when I saw her coming for the rooftop I was sitting on, I didn't leave. I watched her make the large leap and tumble to the ground.

I walked towards her, taking in the way little drops of blood gathered on her hands and knees. She brushed the little stones out of the wounds, but didn't seem scared or in...pain, like other kids. Didn't most girls cry when they got...hurt? I wondered, not for the first time, what it felt like.

"Why are you here?" She asked me.

I frowned, crossing my arms. Should I be asking her that? Why wasn't she asleep like other kids? Or was she like me, and she didn't sleep? It wasn't that I didn't want to sleep, I just couldn't. And when I did, I had terrible nightmares.

I decided to ask her.

"Playing." She shrugged, "My parents won't let me play. I got in trouble for talking to you. They think I'm gonna die if I go outside, for some stupid reason. "

I tried not to flinch. It was probably my fault. Her dad had seemed very alarmed when he saw her talking to me. Was she mad about it? She didn't look mad...not in the angry way, at least.

She smiled cheerfully at me and continued talking. When she was done, there was a long pause. I wasn't sure what exactly I was supposed to say. It wasn't like I could tell her I had seen her running around up here...or 'almost dying'. I didn't want to know what she'd do if she thought I was watching her. Or avoiding her. Then again, didn't everyone avoid her?

"So...Gaara-kun...how do you go across the rooftops?"

Gaara-kun...?

Did she think-

"I walk." I said, quickly turning away and walking to the edge of the roof. My sand rushed before me, making a bridge to walk across. I stood on the other roof, staring at her. Would she follow? I wasn't sure I wanted her to follow me, but she hadn't tried to hurt me or anything...and my sand would protect me from her.

She scrambled to her feet and made her way to the bridge, but she suddenly stopped and stared at the sand. She looked...I wanted to call it scared, but she looked excited too. When she didn't move to step on the bridge I started to worry. Did she want to leave, or go back to her home?

Her eyes moved up to me for a moment before she crossed the bridge.

"That is so cool." she whispered, watching the sand slither towards me. She grinned, but it wasn't in the same, terrifying way I'd seen her grin before, "How do you do that?!"

"Cool?"

"Yeah like...wow! That's awesome! The sand thing! I've never seen anyone do that before! Not even my Daddy, and he's a ninja."

She seemed very...proud of her father. Was I proud of my father? He was the Kazekage, after all. But...I didn't really know my father. He was...a stranger.

"Most people run away when they see my sand."

"I'm unnatural." She shrugged, "But...how do you do the sand thingy!?"

"It moves on its own."

"Wow...I wish I could do that!"

Did she really mean that? My sand...hurt people, and people were afraid of it. Did she really want them to fear her more than they already did?

"Why aren't you scared?" I asked her. The question had been bothering me since we met at the park. Why wasn't she scared of me.

She rolled her amber eyes, "I already told you! You aren't scary, and I'm not natural. Even if you did scare me, I don't see why I have to show my heart on my sleeve. It wouldn't be nice of me to run away screaming...and I'm waaay more mature than that. People are scared of me too, and I don't know why. But I do know how you feel. Why would I want to treat you like everyone treats me?"

"So...you are scared?" Why? I hadn't hurt her...she didn't really listen to what everyone said...right?

"A little...but that's only because everyone else is...its human nature to fear what you're taught to fear. I won't act like I'm scared though because I'm not really scared...I just think I should be. I have no reason to fear you...not unless you do something to make me scared. Aren't you scared of me?"

I shrugged.

"Have I done anything to you for you to be scared of me?"

I shook my head, thinking back. She scared other people, chased after them and threatened them...but she never attacked me. She talked to me.

She grinned again, and it still wasn't in the scary way. I was safe as long as she didn't use that expression. Right? Because, that was when she wasn't...a 'monster'. She only started grinning like that when someone called her a monster. This smile was a lot nicer. No one really smiled at me, besides Uncle.

"Then you're not really scared of me. Everyone else is, so you feel like you should be too."

"Oh." I wasn't actually afraid of her? But...

Uncle was scared of her. He had to be. Otherwise he wouldn't warn me away from her. He was always trying to protect me...even if I didn't need anymore protection than my sand.

Maybe he just thought he was scared of her too?

"So...do you want to play?"

My eyes snapped up to her. Play? She wanted my to play with her? I...didn't really know how to play, but I supposed it would be fun. But I still wanted to know why. Yes she wasn't afraid of me, and maybe she was lonely, like I was, but...I wasn't used to this. People didn't willingly spend time with me, except for my Uncle.

She just smiled at me, with this knowing patient look on her face.

"Maybe...if you play with me...you'll be tired enough to sleep. That's why you're out here, right?"

Ever so slowly, I nodded.

Maybe she was right. If I played long enough, I'd get tired, and I'd sleep. And it wouldn't be so bad. She was...nice...? I'd just have to...ignore all of the things my Uncle told me...

Aisako was...strange. I ended up spending a lot more time with her than I thought. Every night she was there, waiting on a roof. At first I tried to avoid her, but I was lonely...So I sat with her, or walked with her, and just let her talk. She always said strange an unusual things, and she had these moments where she sounded a lot older than she was.

One night she said something particularly strange.

"Gaara...do you ever wonder what it would be like to grow up in another village? Do you think we'd receive the same hatred and fear we get from here? Would we be hated more, or less?" She asked me, not looking away from the moon, which hung low in the sky. It was so big it seemed almost weighed down.

"I...do not know?"

"Like, if we lived in Cloud, maybe we'd be more accepted?" She said, "I hear they're 'monsters' are welcomed."

Their monsters? Did every village have someone they thought was a monster, like me and Aisako?

"Their monsters?" I had to ask.

"Yeah...I heard the Raikage's brother is...possessed by a monster. It...makes him talk in...strange tongues?" She said, but she didn't sound sure, and her eyes moved from one object to another, like she was lying, or trying to remember something.

"What...?"

"Everything he says rhymes."

I blinked. It wasn't that...strange...to rhyme, was it? Maybe it was. I couldn't remember Uncle ever rhyming, unless he was reading me a story. He used to do that all the time.

"Gaara!" A happy voice called from somewhere down the street. Numerous people flinched, and my head snapped in the direction the voice called from. I spotted her standing with three older kids. They were all staring at her, and me, with looks of mixed fear and disgust. She offered a wave and a scary smile. I was nearly positive the look wasn't meant to scare me, but the people with her instead.

She did that. My Uncle said my sand was a 'defense mechanism', and I wondered if the way she purposely scared others was hers. If looks could kill like my sand could, a large number of people would have already passed away for getting on her bad side.

"Hm?" I quickly looked away and up at my Uncle. He glanced around, "Did someone call your name just now?"

He looked hopeful. Uncle always told me he wanted me to make friends. Did he think I had one?

I stared up at him blankly. Uncle frowned and continued to look around.

"I'm sure I heard someone...do you know who it was?" he asked me, "Did you make a friend?"

I cast another glance towards Aisako. The older kids were still with her, although the older girl in the group seemed to be saying something with a snarl clear on her face and the two boys stood slightly in front of her, like they were protecting her from Aisako. What was she saying to Aisako?

The younger girl said something in reply. I couldn't hear it, but I saw her lips move and a smirk settle on her face.

The older girls hand flew up and she smacked Aisako across the face.

I flinched.

Aisako didn't.

Her amber eyes shifted towards me and she tilted her head slightly, before looking back at the older girl with a monstrous grin.

I looked back at my Uncle.

"No."

"So...make any friends today?" She asked me as she laid on her stomach, her shoulders over the edge of the roof. She looked down at all the people walking around the streets. There was a festival tonight, and while it wasn't nearly as extravagant as festivals in Konoha were rumoured to be, a lot of people were still out.

"No."

"Oh."

A few game booths were set up, although Aisako told me they didn't have a fish-catching game. It made sense. We wouldn't waste water on fish. They had a dart game and a ball throwing game, where you could win all sorts of toys. We watched as parents and older siblings played for prizes to give to excited little kids at their sides.

"Reminds me of the fairs..." I heard Aisako mutter to herself.

"What?"

She looked at my from the corner of her eye, "Nothing."

We fell into silence, as we often did. When she wasn't ranting, the strange girl beside me didn't always feel the need to fill the silence.

"Do you think they have fried tongue?"

"Maybe. I think they have a dango stand other there...and the one beside it looks like it would sell tongue."

"Should we go?"

"No." She said, shaking her head, "We'll probably need an adult to buy it for us...they won't even serve me...and I dunno how they'll react to you."

"I don't think my uncle would buy two servings for me."

"I'm not even supposed to be out." Aisako said with a shrug, "And it's unlikely me 'mother' will be buying me treats."

"Oh." I said. it was a little disappointing.

Suddenly Aisako sat up with a cheerful grin. She looked at me with her amber eyes wide with excitement.

I shifted warily, "What?"

This couldn't end well.

"Let's steal some!"

"How?"

"Your sand!" She said cheerfully, "Just sneak a little behind the stand and make it grab some dango, and then we'll get you some tongue too!"

"What if they see me?"

"They won't." She told me with a smirk, "I'll distract them for you. After all, what person in this dump wouldn't want a chance to hit me?"

I wouldn't.

I nodded and used my sand to lower us to the street.

"Merry um...Kiss-My-Ass!" A familiar voice called, before something soft smacked into my face. I flinched violently as the object bounced off my face. I looked around wildly, trying to see who threw it at me, and see what 'it' was all at the same time. First I caught sight of Aisako. She looked just as surprised as I was that the...soft, plushy thing...had actually managed to hit me. Shouldn't my sand have stopped it?

She let out an amused snort and I finally spotted what she...hit...me with.

It was a stuffed animal of some kind, not unlike my own stuffed bear. It was a bear, actually, but the colouring was off. Rather than an earthy brown like my bear it was black and white. I reached down and picked up the stuffed animal.

"What is it?" I asked her, staring at the oddly coloured bear.

"It's a panda."Aisako said, shrugging. "It's a...it's sort of a bear, but more like a giant raccoon. Well..some people say it's a raccoon. Others say it's a bear. I dunno. It's just cute."

"Why'd you throw it at me?"

"It's a present." She said as she let her body collapse on the roof we were sharing. She sprawled out and stared up at the sky, like she usually did.

"Why?"

"It's Kiss-My-Ass Day."

I blinked, "It's...what?"

"Well, technically It's Kiss-My-Ass Eve, or it was before I left. Well, not really. The date's wrong too, but...Anyways, I figured out you people don't have Santa, which is bull, by the way, so I thought, why not rename the holiday and only give gifts to the people I like, rather than the ones I should give gifts to simply because they take up more time in my life than the other strange, strange people I walk past on a regular basis."

I blinked again. She didn't usually talk this much. Unless she was ranting about people being stupid. Or being abnormally cruel to small children who did 'fuck all' to them. What did 'fuck' mean anyways? She said it quite frequently.

"Are you...feeling well?"

"I am fabulous!" She said, grinned as she propped herself up, "Not only is it Kiss-My-Ass Day, but I have also discovered where Saki keeps the sake!"

The academy was...loud. The other children talked a lot, or at least they did, until they noticed I was there. As I walked towards the entrance, I could see parents tugging their children closer, and quietly whispering to them, probably warning them to stay away from me.

I glanced back at my Uncle.

"Don't worry Gaara-kun, I'm sure you'll find a friend here. It'll be lots of fun too."

He smiled encouragingly at me before gently pushing me towards my older brother and sister. They both flinched as I moved to stand beside them, and I felt a sting in my chest. It happened every time they did that.

"A-Alright, Gaara...Let's go to your c-class first." Tamari said before she and my brother began to quickly walk towards the academy. I had to practically run to keep up.

They left me the moment they walked past my door, quickly telling me this was my room.

I nodded, although neither of them saw, and walked into the room. A couple kids were there. Feeling hopeful, I began moving towards them.

Of course, the instant they saw me walking towards them, they scrabbled up the stairs to the back of the classroom, far from me.

My chest stung again, and a heavy sigh came out. I ducked my head and walked up the other side of the classroom to back row, where I sat by the window.

One by one, other kids started pouring in. I recognized a few of them from out in the village, but they all stared at me with fearful expressions before they took seats as far from me as they could.

And finally, the one person I could expect to approach me walked in. She glanced around the room with that strangely disappointed expression as she looked at each person. A pleasant smile was sent to a trio girls that I could remember, but I wasn't sure where I had seen them before. The smile morphed into that really, really scary grin she always flashed at people she didn't like.

After a moment, her eyes went back to looking at everyone in the room.

I froze up a little as they landed on me. A strange expression crossed her face before it vanished and she made her way towards me. Behind her, the teacher seemed to reach out, like he was about to stop her, but he paused suddenly as she sat beside me and stared at her for a moment. He went from looking concerned to...not quite afraid...but more disturbed than anything.

"You're here." I said, not quite knowing how I should speak to her in public. On the rooftops it was simpler. Here I knew I'd have to watch what I was saying. It wouldn't do if I triggered one of her rants, or let it be known how long I had been playing with her. If my Uncle found out, he would likely be very ashamed of me.

"Yup. Did you think I'd become a civilian or something?" She looked almost offended, but the glint in her eyes told me she was amused. "Please. I couldn't do something that boring...I'd rather run into the desert with nothing but a blindfold on with no provisions."

I hid my alarm. She really did not want to be a civilian. Not that I could blame her. Especially since it was her. In the past year, people had been getting a lot more...hands on, when they confronted her. Sometimes they'd hit or kick her. They tried to hurt me too, but my sand hurt them a lot more than they hurt me.

I heard her sigh and looked from the corner of my eye as she looked around the room again.

Eventually the teacher walked in and I shifted my attention to the man. He was tall, his skin was dark from the hot desert sun, and scars trailed across his face in tight lines.

"Alright, everyone, sit down and be quiet!" The man shouted loudly. I peeked towards the girl beside me, wondering how she would react to the man. She stared at him blankly for a moment, before her eyes flickered towards the middle of the room, where I could hear someone whimpering like a scared child. Of course, we were all children, and the teacher did look rather intimidating.

"HALF OF YOU WILL BE GONE BY THE END OF THE FIRST MONTH!"

In an instant it seemed like every person in the room was talking, all shouting over each other. I looked at Aisako who didn't seem alarmed by the words. I had to agree. There was nothing to be alarmed of. In fact, they should be grateful they had a chance to drop out. If they all thought this would be easy, then they clearly weren't ready to become shinobi of my fathers village, or any village for that matter.

"You are all here to learn how to become proper ninjas! You are training to become a part of our village's military force. This will not be a path for the faint of heart, or the unfit. From this moment on, you will no longer be seen as children, but as ninjas in training! All of those in here who know, or have known a kunoichi or shinobi, please raise your hand."

I sighed before raising my hand. Of course I knew shinobi. Almost every person in my life was either a shinobi or training to be one. Aisako raised her arm as well, and a number of the other kids raised their hands. The people who didn't have a hand up all looked around the room, looking surprised as they did. I wondered if they were civilians. It seemed like the only way they could be so surprised.

Uncle said the civilians were actually very isolated growing up, even though they lived in a shinobi village, and outnumbered shinobi at least forty to one. They hardly had a clue about anything other than civilian life.

The teacher -who had yet to introduce himself, I realized- looked at all the hands and nodded, "Then those of you with your hands up should know that this isn't an easy career choice. If any of you are having second thoughts, I want you to go home tonight and think long and hard. If you still aren't sure you want to do this, I suggest you don't come back."

Looking at Aisako, I could see her nodding and the beginnings of a smirk on her face.

"NOW THEN! When I point to you, I want you to get your ass down here and introduce yourself to the class! Just tell us your first name, and last if you want, what you like, hate, and anything else you want to say."

Then, his scarred hand flew in our direction and he pointed at Aisako. For a split second she looked disappointed in the man, like she had looked when she saw the other students. As she stood, however, a cheerful smile appeared on her face. She made her way to the front of the room, although she stopped to say something to a boy who soon looked too scared to even breathe.

She bowed to the teacher politely when she reached the front of the room and began her introduction.

"Hello! My name is Aisako Shimizu! I really like reading, training, moving fast, my dad, being nice to others and playing with my friends!"

Her eyes flickered towards me as she said this. She often said we were friends. Every time she did, it felt...warm. I liked it when she said we were friends, although I wasn't sure whether it was true or not.

"WHAT FRIENDS?!" A girl called out. The small amount of sand at my feet shifted ever so slightly.

"Oh! And I really like beating up annoying people! If they're weak then they have no right to go picking fights! I really, really hate people who call me or my mother anything remotely offensive...but I don't really like my Mommy all that much either...I hate adults who think that just because they use big words I won't be able to understand them. I also dislike stupid people, like most of the people in this room. OH! And my ultimate goal in life is to out live all of you, so I can spit on your graves and destroy the grave markers! And then die in an awesome fashion later on."

Like someone flicked a switch, the usual life-threatening Aisako was back.

She made her way back up to me and resumed the bored look on her face that she usually wore in public as we watched other students go up, one at a time. I did my best to remember their names, as whichever ones passed would be my comrades in the future. Maybe even my friends.

Eventually, the teacher pointed up to me and I made my way down the steps to stand in front of the class. I felt strange, nervous maybe, as I stood in front of all those kids. How many of them already thought I was a monster? Would any of them like me? Or did they all hate me. I looked from one kid to the next, trying to find a friendly pair of eyes. Finally, I zeroed in on a familiar pair of orange eyes. She smiled at me, not scarily, but in an encouraging way, like my Uncle had earlier that day.

The smile made me feel warm again, and I tried to think of an introduction to myself. The only person i had ever introduced myself to successfully was Aisako, but I wasn't sure one could call her a success. I realized she would have to do. At least I knew she wasn't afraid of me and didn't hate me. Even though Aisako was dangerous...she was probably the safest person in the room.

I made sure to keep my eyes locked on her as I spoke.

"My name is Gaara. My father is the Kazekage."

Now what? What I disliked?

"I don't like people who run away from me...or people who try to hurt me. I also...dislike people speaking badly of others who don't deserve it."

And...what did I like?

"I...like?...the colour orange."

A smiled flashed on her face at this. Without another word I walked up to our desk.

"Good job!" She said, still smiling.

"What did I do?" I asked her, not sure why she was congratulating me.

"I...dunno. I just felt like congratulating you."

"Oh. You did...good as well?" That was the right thing to say, right?

"Why thank you, my good sir."

Not knowing how to respond, I simply looked ahead at the board. Beside me, I could easily hear her laughing.

Uncle picked me up at the academy. I saw a flicker of red and looked to see Aisako making her way around the corner of the academy. She spotted me and offered a smile, before looking around excitedly. After a few moments, her shoulders sagged and she slowly made her way down the street.

"So, Gaara-kun, how was your first day? Did you make any friends?"

I looked at my Uncle and simply shrugged. Could I tell him that I didn't make a friend today, but I had been making one since some time last year? Could I say who it was? He wanted me to make friends, right? So, he would be happy if I had one, even if it was her.

He sighed, "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll make one sooner or later. Did anything big happen today?"

"That girl...the one you say I shouldn't talk to...she is in my class." I said, trying to ignore the look of horror on my Uncle's face, "She sits beside me."

"Good morning Gaara-kun!"

I tried to ignore her. I tried not to look, but I couldn't help but peek. She seemed normal enough on the outside. I wanted to know why. How? What was she, or what happened to make her...like that.

"How was your weekend?"

I didn't answer her. I couldn't really. I wasn't allowed to tell her why everyone hated her, but I knew why. Maybe it was just a rumour, or maybe it was true. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing...what if it was a good thing?

"Gaara?" She stared at me with a confused look. Her voice was soft and quiet. It almost trembled, like she was scared or sad.

I turned my head so I couldn't see her anymore, and focused on the board.

It continued like this for days.

"Gaara-kun." Every morning, she greeted me, even though I didn't say anything back. After the first couple days, something changed. Aisako got a lot stranger. Just because I couldn't talk to her, that didn't mean I didn't notice when something happened.

Even though she still seemed...happy, or as happy as she could be, and played pranks on the teacher, she wasn't the same. She threatened a lot more people. From our classmates, to our teachers, to random people one the streets and at one point, I saw her threatening an ANBU who had been guarding the academy that day. She kept on giving people her insane smile, but she stopped smiling at me. She didn't talk nearly as much either, and when she did speak to me, although I never answered, she sounded sad, bored and almost scared. I wondered why.

I also decided it was scarier hearing her sound like that than when she threatened people.

It was worse than just her sounding sad. The older students started attacking her. She left the academy early one day after one of them stabbed her. The boy didn't even get in trouble. Instead, he got a pat on the back from the his teacher and all his friends, like they were proud that he'd hurt her. I didn't see what there was to be proud of though. Aisako was much smaller than him, she was unarmed and he had years of training over her.

I didn't get a lot of sleep, but I needed it. It was one of those rare nights when I could actually fall asleep. I had been doing it more often lately, since I was avoiding Aisako. I wasn't sure I liked sleep. It was comfortable, yes, but I felt strange when I fell asleep. It was a bit like there was something there, waiting for me to nod off so it could pounce. Some nights, I heard it speaking to me. It said terrible things. It spoke of me hurting everyone, because if I didn't kill them, they would come after me eventually.

That night, I discovered that thing that waited for me where my mind went when I was asleep.

I couldn't see what it was, but I knew it was quite large. The place I went was very dark, but I could tell I was one some sort of flat plain, most likely the desert. The sky was dark and there were no stars or moon. Barely any light existed here.

In front of me, there was something massive, and it breathed in great heavy breathes. Suddenly, one of its eyes snapped open and I was greeted by glowing gold. I couldn't see it, but I knew it was grinning, much like Aisako would, but there was something about this grin that was far worse.

The great Beast let out a deep laugh.

"You're here."

"Who are you?" I asked.

The Beast didn't answer, instead it continued talking, like I hadn't spoken. "I've waited so long to here from you. You're always up talking to...her. That little bitch."

Who was he talking about? What was a bitch anyways? Aisako called a lot of people that, but I knew it was a bad word. Uncle said I wasn't allowed to use those.

"Who?"

"That manipulative bitch you think of as a friend!"

Did he mean Aisako? What did he mean manipulative?

"She's using you! She doesn't like you, she hates you just as much as the rest of them, but she's smart. She wants to be on your 'good' side...she knows just what you can do with your sand. She doesn't want you to kill her, but she'll use you to kill her enemies if you blindly do whatever the hell she tells you to do."

I shook my head. That wasn't right. Aisako wasn't like that. She...she didn't need me to...kill for her. She wasn't using me either. She...she wouldn't. Right?

"Just watch! If you don't talk to her, she'll leave you! She'll find someone else to be friends with, and she'll forget all about you...she doesn't really see you as a friend, you know that, right? She doesn't even fucking think of you as human. You're just there...As soon as you leave her, you'll realize she was never really your friend."

After she was stabbed, more people began trying to hurt her. I didn't like it, but I didn't stop them either. I wanted to though. I really did. Uncle had told me not to speak to her. He said I shouldn't even interact with her. He told me she was a monster. He explained why she shouldn't have ever existed in the first place, but it still wasn't enough. I wanted to listen to my Uncle...

But I wanted to speak to someone who wasn't an adult even more.

So, after we had been attending the academy for nearly two weeks, I finally gave up and spoke to her again. I ignored my Uncle and the monster from my dreams.

"Gaara-kun." Her voice was blank and she barely even looked at me.

"Aisako...chan."

her head snapped towards me, and she looked...surprised, confused and...happy. Or at least, I think she was happy.

"So...now you're talking to me again...did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"No what? No you aren't speaking to me, and you're talking to someone else named Aisako...or, No I didn't do something wrong?"

"The second one."

"Oh good. I thought you'd replaced me or something." She looked so relieved and a large, cheerful smile appeared on her face. The corners of my mouth turned up, but I don't think she even noticed.

Why had I been worried? Why had I even listened to the monster? He was wrong, after all. She wouldn't replace me. She wouldn't just suddenly start making friends once she thought I hated her.

It was almost funny that she said that though. Me, replace her? "I...wouldn't do that."

"Why didn't you talk to me?"

"My Uncle...told me why you weren't natural."

"Oh?" She looked at me hopefully, "So...why am I unnatural?"

"I'm...not allowed to say."

She sighed, her shoulders slumping in disappointment. I would have told her, but it was bad enough I was disobeying my Uncle by being her friend. If I told her, he might be not just disappointed, but angry with me as well.

"I...was frightened by what he said at first..."

She seemed to stiffen, and she bit her bottom lip, looking suddenly worried and insecure.

"And then...the monster from my nightmares...told me you were only going to use me...and that I shouldn't trust you." She stared at me for a moment, with an odd expression. it wasn't the first time I told her about him, the monster in my dreams. She always got this look when I told her about the feeling he gave me, and the time he spoke to me. Like she knew what it was.

"He said...if I didn't talk to you...you'd go make new friends and forget about me."

She scoffed. "Please. Since when was it a good idea to listen to him? I mean...how could I forget about you? You're my only friend in this life."

And I believed that.

I hated the older students. It wasn't because of how they treated me...How they insulted me, ran away or simply ignored my existence. I didn't even hate them for fearing me.

I hated them for not ignoring Aisako. They hurt her.

And she just took it!

She didn't fight back or anything. Sometimes, she just let them hit her. She encouraged it once. She told me some boy wanted to be respected by his classmates, so she let him hit her all he wanted.

I wanted...to stop him. I wanted...to make him regret it. Maybe I wanted him to hurt, just like she did? Although, I didn't know what it felt like to hurt at the time. I just knew most people hated it. There were times I thought Aisako might like it, the way she laughed when they hit her.

I didn't stop them though. I couldn't. If I did, then the other children would know how close we were...while they wouldn't hurt her anymore, they'd tell their families, and my father would find out. My Uncle would find out.

When they were done hurting her though, done with their 'fights', I was there, at least, to help her get up, using my sand to support her.

They blamed her when the people who hurt her ended up bedridden, hospitalized or just badly injured. Of course they blamed her. They always did. Aisako was a 'monster' in their eyes. They thought she would hurt others like that. They expected it. I wondered how scared they'd be of her when she became a full-fledged kunoichi.

The first victim...the boy who attacked her...it was my fault. I had passed him on my way home one day, and before I knew what was happening, my sand had lashed out.

The others...

They were not mine.

The teacher stood at the front of the room. My friend called him something strange..Karul...or something like that. She said it was because she didn't know his name. I wasn't sure what it was either...I must have missed it during the first day.

He was teaching us about poisons, just giving us a little peek at what we would be learning in future years. While I wasn't all that interested in it all, I couldn't help but notice Aisako lean forward in her seat. Her eyes were focused on the board and she was rapidly writing the information down.

"What?" She suddenly asked me, turning her head towards me, "Is there something on my face?"

She must have noticed I was watching her. It was simply odd seeing her actually interested in what we were being taught. Aisako was...strangely intelligent. When ever there was any form of mathematics involved, Aisako seemed to finish almost instantly. The same went to a number of other subjects, like she already knew everything we were learning. Until chakra, weapons, fighting styles and ninjutsu as brought up. She did read a great deal in her free time, so I could only guess she had been reading ahead of us in other subjects.

"You seem oddly...interested in this."

She smiled, "Well, I think they're useful when used right. People try to kill me with them all the time, so they have to be effective...maybe not on me, because my mother uses them all the time, so I kinda know what to look for, but it someone wasn't ready for it..."

I nodded slowly. Poisoning someone did seem like something she'd do. She could kill someone from miles away.

"It...makes sense...But...people...try to poison you?"

She nodded and shrugged, "Yeah. I haven't died yet, so everything's good. You have to commend them for trying though. They can get pretty creative...one man had a chakra puppet that was the size of a bee, and he actually put poison on the sting."

I blinked in surprise before I spoke, "My brother wants to use puppets."

She nodded, "I bet he'll be one of the best."

I was unsure what she meant by that. She didn't know Kankuro, did she? Did she expect that much from him? Why? Did she expect anything of me?

I approached my Uncle, feeling uncertain. I wasn't sure if I really should be asking this. If I did, there was a large chance he'd guess it was Aisako, but I wasn't sure. I only had one friend.

"Uncle...what do..friends do for each other's birthdays?"

He looked down at me in shock.

"Why do you want to know? Did you meet someone?"

I shrugged, "Other kids were talking about something called a Birthday Party. I wanted to know what it was. Do they do the same thing we do on my birthday?"

He smiled sadly at me, "Mostly. Friends give the birthday boy or girl gifts...to say that they care for them and that they are happy they were born. Then they eat food and good treats and play games."

I nodded slowly. Uncle gave me gifts on my birthday, and we ate cake. Uncle would read me some stories...and then he'd tell me about my mother. After all...the day I was born was the day he and my father and Temari and Kankuro lost my Mother.

I avoided her all of that day, knowing it would only make me agitated, listening to what people said about her.

When night fell, I could easily see. The moon was nearly full and everything was brightly lit. Aisako wasn't far from her home. I reached the roof she was one and she barely even looked towards me as she stared up at it. it was a little stranger, her fascination with the moon. She also liked stars.

I sat beside her and looked up at the sky with her. It was very pretty.

"Hi."

"Hello." I replied. I reached into a pocket in my robe and removed the brown package. I had seen it in the shop and it reminded me of her. Her eyes, mostly. Her eyes were darker than the robe, but it still matched them.

"What's this?" She asked, hesitating to open it.

"My uncle says that...friends...give each other gifts on their birthdays...?" I wasn't sure if I should mention the 'glad you were born' part. Aisako was strange...when it came to reactions. She would either, insult me, thank me, cry or say something embarrassing. I decided it was safer if I didn't say anything about it.

She tore open the gift and stood up to unfold the robe. It was way too big for her, but I had gotten it, knowing she would grow into it. I just hoped she would like it. She would, right?

She smiled, "It's great!"

I felt myself relax in relief. She liked it. "I thought it would be best to get it in a large size. There would be no point in getting something you'll grow out of in a year or two."

"You're right...thanks, Gaara-kun."

We fell into our usual silence for a while longer after that, but after a short while we both left. She went home, but I stayed out for a while longer.

The monster from my dreams would be angry, as usual.

Months passed. We celebrated my birthday too, late at night, like we had Aisako's. People reacted just as badly.

Uncle asked if I wanted to invite anyone, but there was no one I could just ask over. My birthday...was not a good day for my family. We didn't celebrate. It was for mourning my mother. No one but my Uncle even bothered to speak with me.

"Happy birthday, Gaara-kun!"

He gave me a set of kunai, and told me that even though I had my sand, it would not hurt for me to learn to use them. While I was thankful my Uncle gave me a gift...I still wanted to know what Aisako got me more.

I met with her upon a roof, the same one we celebrated her birthday on. There wasn't much moonlight tonight. Clouds had rolled in and it appeared we would be getting rain, for the first time in months.

She grinned when she saw me, and hopped to her feet. "Happy Birthday Gaara-kun!"

For a moment I thought she was going to step closer, and her arms lifted slightly for a brief moment before they quickly fell. Before I could question the motion, she spun on her heel.

"I got you a present. I had to make part of it myself, but...I think you'll like it. If we're lucky, the weather will be on our side too!"

I tilted my head back, looking at the cloud shrouded sky. After a moment, something wet landed on my cheek. I touched and pulled my had away, staring at the water droplet. There it was. Rain.

Aisako appeared in front of me suddenly. In her hand she held what looked to be...a heavily dented bucket with a red bow wrapped around it.

I stared at it for a moment. Aisako laughed quietly at my confusion.

"What is it?"

"It's a sandcastle kit!" She said, grinning in a way that told me she found something particularly funny about it all.

"A sand...castle...kit...?"

"Yeah." She said, before she sat on the roof. Little drops of rain fell from the sky, but it had yet to become the heavy downpour I knew it would be later.

I joined her and sat across from her, with the bucket in front of us. I realized there was more to the gift. Inside the bucket were three other, smaller buckets and a small shovel.

"Alright, so there aren't any beaches in Suna, so I doubt you even know what a sandcastle is...but its a sculpture...thing, usually shaped like a building, made of sand. Since no one makes sandcastles here, I got a bunch of buckets and I had ta dent them myself to make different shapes."

I nodded. I was a little curious how one kept the sand in the shape of the bucket though. My sand only held its shape when I willed it to, but for someone who couldn't control sand...

"Now, I want it to rain, is because the water's gonna help us. If the sand is just damp enough, and packed tight enough in the bucket, it'll keep the shape."

Ah. That answered my question.

The rain was falling harder now, and Aisako's messy hair was slowly starting to lay flat on her head as the water weighted it down.

She ran a hand through her hair, messing it up further, "Alright, let's find somewhere outta the rain to wait."

Together we made our way to a small awning and sat on a bench underneath it, watching the rain come down. The awning belonged to a flower shop which consisted of two floors. They usually had plants out on the roof of the first floor, which was much larger than the second floor. Every once in a while, when it did rain, Aisako and I would go here.

Eventually, the rain stopped and Aisako rushed out into the open.

A year had passed. We were soon in our second year at the academy. Aisako still knew everything we learned. Her father and older brother had begun telling her about the shinobi life style and everything she'd need to know too, so she was pressing ahead there as well. 'Karul-sensei', our teacher, had reluctantly admitted she was the top kunoichi this year.

I was so tired. I could barely keep my eyes opened, and sensei's lesson was too...boring...for me to even try and pay attention. Aisako could pay attention, but she always seemed to understand the lessons.

My eyes drifted shut as I tried to fight off the sleep. I hadn't slept in...days...weeks? I couldn't remember. All I knew was that the monster was there. He was turning more and more violent. At first he seemed just angry. Then he began to remind me of the girl beside me.

And then he started saying terrible, terrible things.

He wanted to kill her. He wanted me to kill her. She was my only friend, and he wanted me to crush her in my sand and let the blood dye the grains red. He said he wanted to know what her blood tasted like, like that made it all okay.

Eventually, although I hadn't heard it, class ended. Aisako had to nudge me awake. She looked scared when she did it, like she was expecting me...or my sand, to lash out and attack her.

I sat up and brushed the...sleep-sand, from my eyes, trying to ask what I had missed. All that came out was a grumbling mess.

"Hey, you alright?" She leaned down slightly, so she could look me in the eye where I sat. I felt like a bug trapped in the amber.

"I am fine."

"But its not like you to sleep during class..." Her voice was full of concern.

But I couldn't tell her. She was already afraid, although I couldn't remember doing anything to make her afraid, and I didn't want to add anymore reason to that. I didn't want her to be scared. I couldn't tell her what was wrong...I couldn't say that the monster wanted me to hurt her like that.

I only shook my head, "I do not see how it is any of your con-"

"Of course its my concern you dumbass!" She took a step forward, her eyes wide with a mild sort of anger, but it was also mixed with a strange look...insecurity, maybe. Had I said something to make her feel bad? I hadn't insulted her, right?

"I'm your friend, even if you avoid me half the time...not that I can really blame you for that, I mean, if I were you I'd avoid me too, but that's beside the point. What I'm trying to say is that I'm your friend, and I worry about you, alright? It's my job to know what's bothering you, and do what ever I can to help."

I shifted awkwardly before speaking. I could at least offer her part of the reason, right?

"My nightmares have been...getting worse than before."

"What's changed?"

"I can see the monster now...He's a giant Tanuki made of sand, covered in dark blue markings...he told me that I was alone...and that no one loved me..."

Again, I lied...or...didn't tell everything, at least. It made me feel bad. My chest was heavy, just like it was when the other kids ran screaming, or when Aisako flinched away from me. I hated this feeling.

Aisako snorted.

"Don't be stupid. You're not alone. You have me, and Yashamaru. You even have your mom, even though she isn't alive. And we all love you. The monster's just trying to scare you...you'll doubt us at times...but we love you, no matter what, alright?" She asked me while crossing her arms, "I'm not good at comforting people, and I'm not one to talk about trust and that sort of stuff but...just...I'll never abandon you. Got it?"

I couldn't help but stare and nod ever so slowly.

After we had gotten our lunches and began to eat, I couldn't help but ask her a question. I don't know why I asked it...maybe because of what the monster had said, but Aisako always seemed to have an answer. So, I asked, "Aisako...what is love anyway? People always say it to each other but..."

She sighed, looking a little frustrated, "I'm not always sure what it is. But...just...Ask Yashamaru. He's an adult, right? Sometimes they actually know stuff..."

"Alright."

It wasn't the answer I was looking for, but maybe she was right? Uncle would know.

"Uncle?"

"Yes Gaara-kun?"

"What's love?"

He blinked, looking shocked. Then, he smiled that gentle smile and sat down at our dining room table. I lived with Uncle in a small apartment. It wasn't far from Father and my siblings, but I liked it. The others were scared of me, but I knew I could trust Uncle.

"Well Gaara-kun...love is something very important that you feel for another person, deep in your heart."

I raised a hand and placed it on my chest.

"There are different kinds of love, but they're all very strong...I love you like family, because am your Uncle, and you are the precious son of my sister. Your mother loved you more than anything, because you are her son...if she were here, she would make sure you had everything you ever needed and she would never leave you alone. Even now, I'm sure she loves you very much, wherever she is."

My chest tightened, like it often did. I didn't like that feeling...I hated it. It wasn't a nice feeling. Was that what pain was?

"Another kind of love is the love between friends. When two people are friends, and they trust each other with their secrets and feelings, they share a special sort of love. It's almost like family, but sometimes friends can be even closer than their families."

Aisako said she loved me. We were friends. Did I love her?

"And then there's the love between two people that is different from the others. That love is the love that comes from two people wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. They feel warm and safe when they are together, and are restless when they are apart..."

I nodded, "What does...love feel like?"

"Hm...Well...like I said, you feel it here, in your chest," he placed his hand on his chest, right over the spot that hurt all the time in my chest, "Love...makes your heart warm. You don't feel lonely when your with the person you love...you feel happy when you're together. And almost all the time...when you feel like that with someone, they feel the same way too."

I thought back. When i was with Aisako, I didn't feel lonely...we had lots of fun and she always cheered me up if I was sad. And when i was with Aisako, my heart...hurt...less than usual.

She said she loved me...and if that's what love felt like...then I loved my friend too.

"And Gaara-kun? Remember that I love you."

"I love you too, Uncle."

It passed in an instant.

At first, I had been sitting alone under the full moon. Aisako was right...it was beautiful. Knowing I was so loved, I felt a lot warmer. Suna didn't seem so boring and dry...and the people mattered even less. Only two of them mattered.

I saw Aisako coming towards me, and I felt myself smile. Her amber eyes widened when they saw the expression, but her lip curled up slightly.

"What's up with you?"

"My Uncle told me what love is!"

"Oh? That's good." She smiled, but she looked worried about something.

"It's nice...being loved."

"Yeah. I dunno what'd happen to me if I wasn't loved."

I nodded in agreement. I didn't want to know what Aisako would have been like without her father. he seemed to be the only thing tying Aisako down, a lot of the time. I wondered what she would have been like without me. Or what I would have been like without her.

i was just glad I had her and Uncle now.

"I'm really...happy?"

"You should be." Suddenly, she looked like she had an idea. "There are some people in this world that don't have anyone...I heard a story about this boy in the Leaf."

She smiled before telling me the story of Nagato. He sounded a lot like us The villagers hated him, and called him a monster for something he couldn't change. There were only a few people who he could trust...just like me and Aisako.

"Why did you tell me this story?"

She sighed, sounding a little frustrated and insecure, "Because I want you to know that...I don't know...to know that even if no one did love us, we can still be better than the people who hate us? That we can still be happy, even if no one did love us?"

"I see." I said, "But...we wouldn't be able to not be loved."

"Why?" She asked me, looking confused.

"Well, if both of us are still alive...then there's someone. You said earlier that...friends loved each other?"

She grinned in a relieved sort of way, her shoulders relaxing slightly, "Yeah."

And then there was chaos.

She stood up to leave after we sat in silence for at least half an hour, but as she moved, a kunai came flying out of nowhere. She dodged and in an instant we were both ready for an attack.

I glanced at her, ignoring the way my sand moved around me and blinked. She was grinning excitedly at the man, like she wanted him to attack her again.

"Why..." I asked the masked shinobi before us. Aisako made her way towards me and I edged closer to her. My sand was moving around wildly.

Why was it always us? Why were they always attacking us? What had we ever done to them? Why?

"Why is it always us!?" I demanded, "Why are you attacking us?! You're one of my father's shinobi-"

"Why wouldn't we attack you? The monsters that think they deserve to live in our village? You're own father was the one that sent me. He wants me to remove the Demon from his village...and the girl."

The man cut me off. His voice...he hated us, so much. Was it true? My father wanted me to die? Why?

And...

"What do you mean...Demon?"

"You are a demon. When you were still inside your mother's womb, the Kazekage had a demon sealed inside your gut. You were born to be the Sand's ultimate weapon. A killing machine...and in the end, you killed your own mother because of that. You killed her, and it's all your fault. What's it like...when the first kill you make is your own flesh and blood?"

NO! He...He made it sound like I murdered her! Like I planned on killing my mother when I was still inside her...

Somewhere deep inside me, I felt something stir. Something painfully...angry.

"Wh-what?"

"HEY! You with the mask to hide your ugly mug!" I heard Aisako suddenly snarl. She moved out from behind me and glared at the shinobi. What was she doing!?

"The hell is your problem?" She continued speaking, defended me against him. She said I wasn't a demon...and she tried to defend my father...but we both knew the man did want me dead. If anyone was the monster, it was my father. He was a cold-hearted stranger to me.

"Aisako..." I whispered her name, feeling the anger subside slightly. My sand tried to pull her back, but there wasn't enough on her to force her behind me again. I didn't want her out in the open. She wasn't immortal...she was in danger.

"AND ANOTHER THING! What the hell is the problem with me? What did I ever do wrong? I'm a little girl...what have I ever done to any of the people here? It's been like this since I was a baby..."

"Have you finished screaming? I'm a shinobi of the Sand. I am loyal to my village and my Kage. I'm doing this because he ordered me to...and I don't need to prove that to a pair of monsters. And even if it wasn't a mission...I would probably get a promotion for what I've done. Why attack the girl as well? Because no one will miss her...not even her own family, who had to suffer because of her. And why the Demon? Because he was useless as a tool in the end...and not even his own father can love that monster."

The unnatural anger reared up, higher and harder to ignore this time. It was also joined by my own anger. I was not a monster! I wasn't some...tool for the village to use! Aisako wasn't a monster either! And she was loved! Her father adored her. The man didn't know anything about us.

We didn't deserve this...we didn't deserve to be attacked by this man...we were only children. We didn't deserve to be attacked.

But he did.

Kill him.

As he attacked us again, throwing more kunai, I used my sand to yank Aisako behind me. The anger bubbled out in a loud growl that hurt my throat, but I just couldn't stop. My sand shot out and wrapped around our attacker. He was lifted high up into the night sky, before my sand threw him down. The impact left a deep crater on the roof. His blood pooled out and my sand seemed to suck up the blood. I tried to ignore that I wanted more of his blood to spill. No...I wanted to see his face more.

I moved towards the man and yanked his mask off, only for my heart to stop completely.

No.

It wasn't possible.

NOnonononononono!

"U-Uncle? Y-Yashamaru! Why? Why did you do this...why?"

It couldn't be him. It wasn't really. It was some other shinobi...using a genjutsu...or a henge, or something! It...It wasn't possible. He would never do this to me! My Uncle loved me, why would he attack me? Even if...even if father ordered it...he wouldn't take the mission, would he?

"Because you killed her...you killed my sister."

"I-I didn't...I..."

"I've always hated you for that. It was painful even pretending that...I...cared about you."

"But...you said...you told me that you loved me..." I whimpered. I could feel my eyes heat up and wet as tears began to form. My chest hurt. My heat hurt so much...why? Why was this happening?

I could feel Aisako wrapping an arm around my shoulder, but I could hardly notice it over the...rage in my stomach.

"People lie, Gaara...no one really loves you."

"That's...that's no true! M-My mother loved me...Aisako loves me..."

"The creature...be...behind you can't love anything! It...doesn't know how!"

Aisako snarled beside me.

"And...you're mother never loved you. She...named you 'Gaara' out of her own...hate for this village."

No...mother loved me.

Uncle was gasping for breath. I didn't want him to die! If he did, who would take care of me!? Even though he said all these terrible things, I didn't...He couldn't...

He was dying...I had killed him. Just...

Just like mother.

"Hey, how do we know this isn't all a big show?" Aisako's voice snapped. She was mad, her voice trembling, "If what you're saying about Gaara is true...that he...he's some kind of Host for this monster...and the Kazekage wanted to test how useful Gaara was? How do I know this isn't some plot to hurt Gaara...not by lying and saying the people who love him most hate him...but by breaking him? How do I know that that bastard we call a leader isn't trying to release the monster in Gaara?"

Uncle looked away from me and stared at Aisako for a long moment. If anything, it only seemed to bother her more.

"No...we only want...you dead...the world would be so much...better without...monsters like you." I could only stare at Uncle. How could he?

I thought he loved me.

"Gaara!" Aisako's panicked voice yanked me out of the numb, blankness I had had when staring at my uncle, "Tags!"

My sand flew up and wrapped around us, pushing us close together. It was hard to see, but I could still see her amber eyes, wide with fear, right in front of me. I flinched violently as a muffled bang rang out.

Suddenly the tears that had been silently falling from my face turned to sobs as my entire body shook.

He was dead. I had killed another person who loved me!

Maybe I really was a monster.

And worst of all...even though he was...gone...I...something inside me...wanted to kill him again.

I let my sand drop. The threat was...

We stood in front of a big crater. Rubble and my Uncle's blood and body parts coated the rooftop. I watched as the little pieces slowly dripped down walls and spread out in puddles of red. My sand was slowly creeping towards the closest puddle.

Look what you've done.

Somewhere deep inside me, I could hear the monster's gleeful laughter.

You've killed him. Who will love you now? That insane bitch beside you? No...we'll just kill her too in the end. But tell me, who will take care of you now? We both know this won't end. You'll have to live with that bastard, the same bastard who sent your own Uncle to kill you. He'll only send more people. And you won't be killed by them...so you'll do the killing when they come.

You, my boy, are a real monster.

Between the happiness I had had earlier being destroyed, killing my own Uncle and the monster speaking to me, so loudly that his voice was making my head hurt, I couldn't help but let out the scream that surged out.

"I'm...I'm a monster. I'm a monster...I'm so sorry...I'm sorry...I'm a monster." The words flooded out of my mouth before I could stop them.

There was someone beside me? Who-right. Aisako.

Who will love you now? That insane bitch beside you? No...we'll just kill her too in the end.

The monster's voice rang through my memory. He wanted her dead. How could I forget?

You should just kill her now...just like you did your Uncle...just wrap her up in the sand and-

I screamed again, gripping my head with my hands. The rage was still stirring, but now I knew. The monster was the one making me feel like this. The monster.

Hands kept grabbing at me and I could hear a voice trying to make me stop screaming, but I just couldn't. The monster was stirring more and more and it HURT! I had to do something to get rid of it...I had to let it out.

I tried to ignore it. I tried to focus on the voice, but I was screaming too loud to ear what was being said. I didn't want to look at her. I tried to look at something else and my eyes landed on the bright, full moon, which still sat in the sky, so beautifully, like there wasn't something terrible happening below. I shut my eyes and looked away. Suddenly, the moon was anything but beautiful.

The monster laughed.

"Gaara! Snap the fuck out of it! We need to get out of here! What if there are more of them?" She shouted, trying to raise her voice above the screaming. I could barely hear any of it over his laughter.

I just wanted all of it to stop. I just wanted it to be quiet! I wanted both of them to shut up! I just wanted to...curl up and fall asleep and dream this never happened. But I couldn't sleep until they SHUT UP!

"Gaara?"

Just let me out.

"Shut up."

If you let me out...I'll make it quiet. You can sleep all you want.

"What?"

Just...Let me take care of you.

"SHUT UP! ShutupshutupshutupSHUTUP!"

Where was I? I knew I had been here before...

My eyes widened. I was in the desert, where the monster usually spoke to me. It was dark, and not even the monster's eyes were there to light up the area around me. The monster was gone. the plain was painfully silent.

But, wasn't that what I wanted? They both shut up.

Despite the thought, I didn't like this place. It was too lonely. I wanted Aisako...I didn't want to be all alone. I needed someone. Anyone. I'd even take the monster. Where was he?

He...he...

He asked me to let him out.

Oh no. No. NO. NO!

If he wasn't in here...didn't that mean that he was out there. With Aisako.

He wanted her dead.

I had to get out. Now.

My eyes shut and I tried to focus on waking up, like I did whenever the monster brought me here in my sleep, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't wake up.

I was stuck.

Letting out a quiet sob, I settled into the sand and grieved.

After what felt like hours passed, the monster reappeared. I had been sitting in the sand, making a miniature stone garden designs in the tiny grains, when suddenly all the sand around me flew up and formed into a massive mound. An instant later, the mound shuddered and as the top layers of sand fell away, the monster was revealed, swearing angrily as he appeared.

"DAMN THAT FUCKING BITCH!"

I did not need to guess who he was talking about.

"I was so fucking close to getting rid of her!"

So, she was alive. Good. She got away before he could get her.

The monster finally took notice of me.

"You're still here?"

"I can't get out."

He laughed, "You don't want to get out either!"

"What do you mean?" I asked, standing up and crossing my arms.

"I had a lot of fun with the people out there."

I froze, "What did you do!?"

He smirked, "There are quite a few dead bastards out there..."

"WHY!? Why did you hurt them!?"

The monster leaned down, so his eyes were as level with mine as his body would allow, "Because they were just like Yashamaru, brat. They wanted to kill us...So I killed them first."

I flinched.

Hadn't there been enough death already?!

At least she wasn't dead.

"And what about Aisako?"

"SOMEONE SAVED THE LITTLE BITCH!" The monster growled, before he began chuckling, "But not before we did a number on her. We ripped her fucking leg off!"

NO!

I woke up strapped to a bed. ANBU stood around my bed, ready to pounce the instant I moved in a way they deemed threatening.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You failed me."

I blinked and suddenly spotted my father in the door way. My eyes narrowed ever so slightly. It was his fault.

"What?"

"I thought you were stronger than that Gaara...but I was mistaken. You're a broken tool. I can't use you to protect our village."

You should kill him...

I ignored the monster and watched as my father left without another word. The ANBU quickly left the room as well, leaving me alone. I took a deep breath to calm myself. My eyes rested on the ceiling above me.

Everything was wrong. Uncle was dead...Father tried to have me killed...Aisako was...I- I tore her leg off!

I...I had to see. I had to make sure she was alright. Or at least as 'alright' as she could be. I had ruined everything.

I really was a monster.

When I got there, she was deep asleep. It was dark out, and the moon was no longer full. For a moment I wondered how long I had been asleep, but in the end it didn't matter.

I watched for a minute, surprised when her face contorted with pain and fear. I...had never seen her look that scared.

She suddenly flew up and began screaming, like I had when the monster took over. I watched her hands grab for something, and it took me a moment to realize she was trying to grab her leg, but it wasn't there.

I left as quickly as I could.

I continued attending the academy, even though father was trying to make me accept lessons from private tutors. He wanted to limit my contact with the other people in the village.

It wasn't the same. The classes were boring and the students were more annoying. I was lonely and worried about her.

And I was...losing it, as she would say.

Walking home from the academy one day, a drunken man stumbled into me. I don't know what happened...but my sand lashed out and tossed the man away before he could actually touch me.

People on the street stared in horror, many of them running away, like I was...Like I was on a rampage again.

Living with the rest of my family, I was forced to spend time with them. Since I was so agitated, I ended up saying things I didn't want to. And I threatened them when they bothered me. I didn't mean to.

But they were so scared anyways.

Aisako was right. It was annoying when people feared you too much.

They should fear us.

I came back a few days later. I wanted to see how she was handling it. I hoped she was taking it well.

Peeking in the window, I realized to my horror that she was awake. And looking right at me.

A smile grew on her face and she scrambled to get off the bed. I stared in guilty horror as she fell, like she had forgotten that I had ripped off her leg.

She laid on the floor looking up at me. I wanted to help...but clearly, I had done enough. I looked away from her and moved away from her window as quickly as I could. I leaned against the wall, and listened. I expected to her to call for me, or to shout bad words at me. Instead, I heard her crying.

I didn't check too often after that.

Eventually, she left the hospital and was taken home. She was carried home by her father, with her mother and brother at their side. People whispered about them. I could see how angry she got when they insulted her family, her face contorted with anger. Her father calmed her down, and suddenly something changed. Instead of shouting at them, she and the rest of her family began toying with the people around them.

It was terrifying.

But it made me jealous...jealous of her.

She suddenly had more people loving her than I ever would.

We could kill her...

I ignored the demon.

I avoided the academy when she started going again. She used a wheelchair now. People mocked her, but they still feared her. Her family was always with her.

I avoided everywhere she went. I didn't even wander around at night...even when I knew she wouldn't be out on the rooftops. After all...she couldn't make the jumps with one leg.

Night was a terrible time. The moon mocked me when I was awake, and at night, I was forced to spend long amounts of time with the monster inside me. He kept trying to convince me to kill her. And my family. And anyone who looked at us wrong.

I almost wanted to kill someone...just so he would stop.

She got a new leg. I worked even harder to avoid her, now that she could actively search for me.

I don't know what alarmed me more...the fact that she nearly found me quite a few times...or that she was even looking for me. I RIPPED HER LEG OFF! There was a monster inside me that wanted to kill her and I was avoiding her...what did she want to do with me anymore?!

I was glad though. She had a leg now. It was like...like it almost made up for what I did to her. She could walk and run...and she would still become a ninja. Being a civilian...did not suit her at all. A kunoichi her only option.

I wandered home as the sun began to set. I tried to ignore the moon as it rose, full and bright. It reminded me too much of that night. Temari and Kankuro were in the living room, so I made sure to head directly up the stairs and head for my...room. I couldn't call it a bedroom, since I had destroyed that weeks ago.

Something caught the corner of my eye and I turned to stare in shock as the person I'd been avoiding locked eyes with me. Her amber eyes looked...stranger than they had looked, tired, lonely and...suddenly terrified.

What was she so afraid of?

Us of course! The monster laughed.

"Gaara...I think we need to have a talk."

"No, we do not."

"Yeah, we do. Now shut up and tell me why you're avoiding me!"

"You...wish for me to shut up...and speak?"

She pouted, "Don't be cheeky and answer my damn question!"

"I think it is best if we do not speak any more." I looked away from her and tried to walk away, but she darted in front of me. Her new leg was clearly visible. A part of me was surprised she could move so quickly with it.

"AND WHO THE HELL SAID YOU COULD DECIDE THAT ON YOUR OWN!" She snapped, taking a step forward, "You're my best friend- MY ONLY FRIEND!"

"And I tore your leg off." I stated, trying to keep my expression blank.

"That wasn't you, and you know it! That was the monster your father sealed inside you! You aren't the one I'm afr- You aren't the monster."

"I should be the one you're afraid of." I said, crossing my arms, "You'll only end up dead."

"I don't care!" She said, her eyes narrowed.

I blinked, "What?"

"I don't care if I end up dead! You're the only friend I have in this life! I won't just...just up and ditch you because something you had no control over happened."

She didn't care if she died? How could she- Even if she didn't care...I didn't want her to die. I didn't want to kill her, like I did everyone else who loved me. I...I had to say something, anything, to make her leave me alone. She needed to leave me alone.

Aisako continued speaking, "I don't care if I lose my other leg, or my arms...even if my organs are torn out!"

I shook my head, looking away from her. I quietly whispered, "I don't want you to die."

Glancing up, I saw her expression soften until her snarl was gone and she looked more like a six year old girl than she ever had before. She grinned, like she thought she had won, "Then, I won't die. I'll be immortal."

Suddenly, I thought of exactly the thing to say. But I knew I'd never be able to take it back...and we would never be friends again if I said it.

"If you don't die," I began, preparing myself for what would happen, "then you really will be the monster everyone thinks you are."

She blinked and her grin died. A look of fear appeared on her face, "What?"

"You. Are. A. Monster."

Her entire body suddenly shuddered and the look of betrayal was clear on her face. They it was gone and a grin formed on her face. It was the grin I had always said I never wanted aimed at me. It was the unhinged grin of a starving wolf with a crippled rabbit in its sight.

"I'm a monster, am I?" She giggled, but her eyes seemed to cloud over, "Eheh. Then...I..."

Aisako's mouth seemed to open and shut a few times, like her words had vanished, her her shoulders still shook with amused giggles. She had nothing to say. She blinked and a tear suddenly rolled down her left cheek.

She tried again, still giggling, "Than I- I better leave. Eheh! There's no sense in chasing you if you're already h-home."

Her amber eyes locked with mine one last time, but they weren't the same. This time they were blank and cold and full of hate.

Aisako spun on her heel and left, walking slowly and calmly out the front door. She stopped at before she crossed through. She turned so she was facing the side of my home and lifted one hand and raised her middle finger, her hair hiding her face the entire time. Then, the door shut and she was gone.

All I could ask myself, was:

"What did I just do?"

You got rid of the bitch once and for all, that's what you've done! A shame you didn't kill her...but I'm proud, brat.

"Do you think...she'll come back?" I asked him, even though I already knew the answer. I walked into my room and closed the door behind me.

To kill you, maybe.

I sank to the floor, leaning against the wall.

My sand shifted around the floor for a moment before settling down.

Hey Gaara...you wanna hear something interesting?

"What?"

And there you have it! A very special, ridiculously long chapter for the totally adorable Gaara~! I feel like he may have come off a little stalkerish in this chapter, but I really didn't mean for that to happen. He just noticed her around town a lot.

So, there were a bunch of little cute scenes in this EXTREMELY long chapter

Now, before anyone gets all up in a huff about what Ai said about the Eight-tails making Bee rap, I'm just gonna say that she was lying about that. She was trying not to say he had a demon sealed inside him, like Gaara did, so she tried to make up something that wasn't too much of a lie.

Although I did get an adorable mental image of Yashamaru reading Dr. Suess books to Gaara when he was little.

Anyways, i had a lot of trouble writing this chapter. I couldn't decide if the chapter should be told in the same way Ai's chapters are told, or more in a way that suggests Gaara is narrating the chapter like he was looking back from some point in the distant future...I don't even know if that made sense...

I'm also so sorry about the long wait for this chapter...life's been kinda...bad. Busy school semester...personal crap. You know.

BUT YEAH~! This chapter was a ridiculous 15 504 words! At this point, Demon Eyes has 170 reviews, 387 favourites, 581 followers and is mentioned in 13 communities.

A big thanks goes out to the following people for reviewing: Arashi IV of VI, evilminionunicorns, Gremlin Jack, Fleur Suoh, greymouser, bored411, lilyoftheval5, Word eclipse, Radiant Celestial Aura, SilverNeira, TheKitsuneClan, princesskitty, 4everfictional, XenotheWise135, crazy1person2you3been4warned, KillerCupcakes, AllyKattheInsane, Himeno Kazehito, xVentressx, KiraKiraBluemoon, Yukionna13, MatthewBadger, Alya Tinuviel, Houkou, and ddmahan922.

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