AN: It's been so long! I never got my computer repaired despite several tries – so I finally went back and tried to re-write it from memory, which was interesting as I could only remember the outline. Anyway – I love all the emotional goodness. Wish I could write this story forever, but all good things must come to an end. This isn't the last chapter, but getting close. I do have an idea for my next story though, which is good. But not sure yet if it will be a sequel or brand new. TBC…
Some adultness in here, but not enough to warrant an outtake chapter. You'll know where to scroll if that's not your cup of tea
XXX
Jonny buried his head in Jessie's shoulder when the hair on the back of his neck jumped. Her parents did not knock or enter loudly. However, Jonny knew the moment he was no longer alone with Jessie. He did not want to leave her after the conversation they had just had, but also did not feel ready for an audience. No matter how well meaning. He needed to catch his breath first.
She held on tighter when he lifted his head and put his lips to her ear. "I need a moment," he whispered. "Is that okay?" He needed her to be alright with it more than he needed to leave. He felt her answer before he heard it. Her entire body nodded yes and he smiled against her ear in response.
"I love you," was all that she said.
"I love you too," he kissed her temple. Then he pivoted off her bed and into the bathroom without a glance to confirm who had joined them in the room. He immediately locked the door, flipped on the air vent, turned on the shower and sank to the ground. He eased his head back until it hit the door. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself with deep breaths. He also tried not to berate himself. Knowing it would help nothing. But it was a hard instinct to fight. He had lost his temper with her too quickly and he felt guilty about it. That was the last thing he wanted to do.
"I'm sorry, baby."
He focused on his breathing instead of his rapid heartbeat. Like Hadji had taught him. He focused on her face too. The picture he had ready in this mind. The one where she was smiling that soft smile saved for him alone.
He felt rooted to the ground as she descended the stairs. His eyes starting at her heels and making their way to her face leisurely. It was a new dress. He had never seen it, but he already loved it. "You look absolutely incredible," he praised. His mouth popped open and he heard his own sharp intake of breath. An emotion washed over him that he could not immediately put a finger on, but he was distracted before he could think about it for too long.
She paused on the stairs and gripped the railing at his words. She looked at him for a long moment and then a soft smile formed on her face. The nice moment ended when Jonny was jolted out of it with a hard smack to the head. Courtesy of Race.
"Close your damn mouth, Romeo."
"DAD!" Jessie scolded and then moved down the stairs at a faster clip.
"Let's go," Race ordered. Heading straight for the front door. The slap was a drive by. "We're gonna be late."
Jonny watched Race leave, but shifted back into distraction once he was gone. Grinning at her as she got closer. "Are you moving in slow motion right now…or is my brain doing that?" he asked charmingly.
She stopped in front of him. Grabbing his lapels and then lifting onto her toes to kiss him firmly. When she ended the embrace, he chased her lips and was kissing her again before her heels hit the ground. She laughed against him happily and he reluctantly straightened.
"New dress?" he looked her up and down appreciatively. It was a black cocktail dress. Flowy skirt, but tight on the top. Thin strips and the sides looked like they were stitched together. Showing hints of skin. Her hair was in a messy bun.
"Mmm," she confirmed. Running her palms down his chest to fix his jacket. "You like?"
"Yes," he huffed. "You know exactly what you're doing," he accused. "I see it coming a mile away."
She swiftly punched him in the gut at that. Removing herself from his arms and heading for the door with a laugh. "Did you see that coming, stud?"
Jonny hunched over to protect himself, but then just as quickly ran to catch up with her. He had an arm around her shoulders before the door was closed behind them. A limo was waiting for them at the end of the driveway. Jonny sighed and slowed their gait. She let him.
"That hurt," he complained.
"Poor baby," she rolled her eyes.
"Ya know," he shot back. "I thought at least one Bannon would stop abusing me once we started sleeping together."
Jessie laughed. "I never agreed to that. We wouldn't be sleeping together if that term was conditional," she teased. "You're far too annoying, babe."
"You don't seem annoyed when I'm inside you," he pointed out boldly.
"Jonny!" Her face reddened and she drew her arm back to hit him again. His arm dropped to her waist and he spun her around before she could make contact. She laughed loudly. "Jonny!"
"Get in the car," Race yelled from the vehicle. Interrupting their fun.
Jonny sighed and put her down. He draped his arm back over her shoulders, but did not increase his pace. "What's his problem?" Jonny grumbled.
"Besides the fact that he'd actively choose torture over attending a charity gala?" she posed sarcastically.
"He's not the only one," Jonny said under his breath.
"Yes," she said patiently. "You've made your feelings quite clear. You don't want to go."
"Sorry," he added unconvincingly.
"It's a beautiful cause," she argued. "And a chance to network."
"With a bunch of self-important assholes," he mumbled.
"Jonny…just focus on the cause…she said ANNOYED."
"I'm always up for a worthy cause," he defended. "Is it really so awful that I don't want to spend every other Saturday of our last summer together at one of these things though?"
"It's NOT our last summer together," she softened. "Far from it."
"You know what I mean," he corrected quietly.
"Jonny," she stopped him a few feet from the car.
Jonny dropped his hand to her lower back and ushered her forward. "Let's just go before I get smacked or punched again."
Once in the car and on their way, Jonny stared out the window and tried to stay in the present. It always ruined his night when he thought too much about her impending departure. She helped by lacing her fingers through his and holding his hand until they arrived.
Jonny was the first one out of the limo when they did. He surveyed the mini-mansion with disinterest. He stayed quiet, but dutifully by her side, as introductions and small talk surrounded him. He only let go of her hand when offered another to shake.
At the first socially acceptable opportunity she led them off on their own. He felt lighter with each step they took away from the crowds.
"Jonny, don't…" she started, but did not get to finish.
He pulled her behind a pillar and away from prying eyes. He kissed her. It was firm, but chaste. He was more focused on keeping her close than kissing her. "Don't what?" he asked.
She gave him that soft smile again. "Don't be mad?" she asked.
"I'm not mad," he promised. "I could never be mad at you in this dress," he flirted.
"Don't be sad?" she prodded.
"Refer to my previous answer, Dr. Seuss. With you in this dress I can only be a glad almost grad. Never sad, mad nor a ne'er-do-well cad."
"Wow," she raised both eyebrows. "I truly have no response to that," she giggled.
"Do my rhyming skills ANNOY you?" he teased.
"Nope," she grinned. "I love you so much, weirdo."
"I love you too, beautiful." He kissed her again, but only briefly. "Come on…let's go network," he rolled his eyes.
XXX
Jessie's gaze remained steadfast. Focused on the bathroom door Jonny had just retreated behind. Race watched as she fought for control of her emotions. He felt Estella's hand in the center of his back. Encouraging him forward. But he did not need encouragement. He just needed to find the right words.
He walked to her cautiously. Like he was approaching a wounded animal. He studied her reaction as he sat on the edge of her bed. Nothing. He glanced at Estella for a moment. Letting his worry show. His ex-wife sat on the other side of the bed. They had their daughter protectively caged in, but she still stubbornly kept her gaze on the door.
"Sweetheart?" he pushed. "Please look at me?"
She refused.
Race sighed and then stared at the bathroom door for a moment himself. "Do you want me to talk to him?" he offered, but selfishly hoped she would say no. He wanted to stay with her.
"Leave him alone," Jessie ordered. "He's fine."
"Neither of you are fine," Estella pointed out quietly. "Jonny…"
Jessie tensed noticeably. "He's fine," she snapped. "You know nothing about it him. Leave him alone, mom."
Estella stood and nodded. "I'll be back soon," she promised. "I need to pick something up from the gift shop."
Race waited until Estella left before speaking. "She didn't deserve that," he pointed out gently. No judgement.
Jessie crossed her arms. "Yeah…well I've lost count of the times I've held my tongue when she did deserve it."
"Jess…"
"Fine…sorry," she shrugged. "Force of habit. When his name comes outta her mouth…it's generally not followed by kind words. I won't stand for it any longer." Race nodded, but stayed quiet. "I'll apologize when she comes back," Jessie eventually gave in under the weight of his stare. Her eyes filled with tears under the weight too. The quiet unnerved her. "What?" she swallowed and managed to keep the tears from falling. "I just…want everyone to give him a break. He's…is that too much to ask?"
"No. It's not," Race acknowledged. Still trying to find his words. "He's not the one I'm worried about right now though."
"Oh." Jessie cleared her throat and turned away to stare hard at the bathroom door again.
"I know…how hard it is to admit that you're not invincible," he whispered. "I know that feeling too well." He knew he had struck a chord when he saw her chin tremble and her hands fist the material of her robe.
"Vulnerable is not really a vibe you give off," she shot back sarcastically.
"Years of training," he sighed. "I know how to hide it from others. But I can't lie to myself," he added honestly. "Believe me…I've tried often and I've failed just as often."
Jessie was quiet as she digested that. Her hands dropped to the bed. Race tentatively reached for one and then the other when she did not flinch away. She was still staring at the bathroom door.
"Are you just saying that?" she asked dully.
"No."
She turned to meet his gaze. "You wouldn't tell me if you were lying," she accused.
Race released her hands and then presented his wrists. "Ask me anything you want and check my pulse while you do," he offered.
Jessie rolled her eyes. "Like you can't fool a lie detector," she huffed.
Race grinned and then grabbed her hands again. He pulled them to his chest and held them to his heart. "I'm not lying, Ponchita. I swear on your life, on your mother's and mine. The only three women I've ever loved." He paused for a moment. "I know how you feel and I know how much it fucking sucks. I was just as pissed off when I realized I was only human."
She laughed at the absurdity of his comment, but quickly sobered and looked at him seriously. "Will you teach me how to bury it?" she asked quietly.
"No," he answered just as quietly.
Tears streamed down her face in response. She could not wipe them away with the firm hold he had on her hands so she looked down and watched them hit her lap. "Why?" she asked, sounding broken-hearted.
"Because I regret it," he told her.
She shook her head in disbelief.
"I regret…applying that skill beyond my work," he clarified. "I regret allowing the line to be blurred. I know that's hard for you to believe. I learned through years of perspective. I'm asking you to trust me."
"You don't want me to be armed with every skill?" she challenged. "What if I promise to only use it professionally?"
Race respected the last ditch effort. That was his girl. "What does a mechanical engineer need that skill for?" he challenged back. Enjoying the banter.
"It's a competitive field," she tried. "Could give me an advantage."
"You don't need it, Jessie. You'll excel using your natural born talent," he argued.
"You're biased," she sighed. Annoyed. "Please?" she tried.
Race grimaced. "No. I won't do that to you. And I won't do that to him. Besides, to hear Jonny tell it, you've already inherited my penchant for…burying the lead."
Jessie pulled her hands away and crossed her arms again. "What did he say?"
"Nothing to warrant your wrath?" Race promised. "Just mentioned that you're not always straightforward with your feelings. Nothing I haven't witnessed myself."
"I promised him…that I won't shut down on him," Jessie whispered. "We JUST talked about it. I promised him. Please dad. I won't use it against him."
"You wouldn't mean to," Race said.
She closed her eyes. Pained. "How do I do this?"
"Let us take care of you," he told her. "We need it as much as you."
They sat quiet for a while. Race watched her face as she processed. When she opened her eyes, he recognized contrition. Then he saw fear, which threw him off and put him on guard. She was not looking at him. She was focused behind him. He stood, spun around and immediately understood. Benton had arrived with more than dinner and Hadji.
"Shit," Race growled. "I'll get rid of them."
"I can handle it," she swallowed. Her face transformed from panic to calm before his eyes.
"You don't HAVE to," he urged.
"It's okay," she said nervously. "It's okay," she repeated. Trying to convince herself. She looked at the closed door and worried about him. This was the last thing he needed.
Benton was the first one through the door. He shot apologetic looks to both Race and Jessie. "I'm sorry. I told them all no."
"It's okay," Jessie smiled. "It's fine."
Hadji was the next one through the door. He went right to Jessie's bedside to head off the others. Jessie relaxed a little once she realized what he was doing. She pulled him into a hug. "Thank you," she whispered.
"I'm sorry," he whispered simultaneously.
"For what?" she prompted.
Hadji sat back. "I don't even know where to begin."
"Because you don't have anything to feel sorry for," she shrugged.
"How are you?" Hadji asked.
"I've been better," she said lowly. She did not want to lie, but that was as honest as she could handle right then.
"And my brother?" Hadji pushed. Surprised that Jonny had left her side. "Where is he?"
Jessie nodded to the closed door. "He needed a break. I'm very high maintenance at present," she tried to joke, but it did not land.
"I find that impossible to believe," Hadji told her.
Jessie smiled lamely. "You haven't…I don't make things easy on him," she whispered. Feeling guilty. Unworthy.
Hadji smiled. "And he was desperate to get you back here to give him a hard time. None of us could stop him in. He only cared about you."
Jessie closed her eyes and let those words wash over her. Feeling loved. She wanted him to come back. She wanted him to take care of her. She wanted to take care of him.
When she opened her eyes, it was hard to ignore all the pairs on her. The room was filled with family and friends. She looked from one to the other. Trying to give each an encouraging nod or small smile. At the foot of her bed were her grandparents Bannon. Fussing over her father. To her left was Dr. Quest and her other grandmother. She had the sudden urge to apologize to Dr. Quest, but she could not fully formulate why she wanted to apologize. Beyond her bed were friends. She tried to give them all the benefit of the doubt, but their presence made her uncomfortable. Made her feel like a side show.
Her eyes lingered on Mary for only a moment before she had to look away. Too many memories flooded back and she had to fight off the anxiety that came with them. She wanted Jonny. She was a beat from having Hadji get him when her eyes landed on Tyler.
"What the fuck?" her breath hitched. Her eyes raced back to Hadji. He seemed just as surprised as her.
"I didn't see him in the lobby when we left," Hadji promised. "He must've jumped into one of the cars when I wasn't looking."
Jessie swallowed hard and nodded her understanding. She glanced at the bathroom door nervously and for the first time did not wish for it to open. "Please get him out of here discreetly?" she begged. "I can't handle Jonny getting arrested twice in one day."
"I'll take care of it," Hadji promised.
XXX
"Mom…mom. I'm fine," Race assured. He pushed her hands away gently. She had been patting his chest and cupping his face for two minutes.
"Don't act like I'm crazy," she scolded. "You put yourself in danger every day."
"Yes ma'am," he smiled. "But I am fine. Promise." It did not escape him that he was deflecting. Doing exactly what he told Jessie not to do, but he did not stay on that thought for long.
"How is she?" Jack asked. Eyes moving to his granddaughter while he waited for his son to answer.
Race smiled proudly. "Strong…but it'll be a long road."
"And Jonny?"
"Same," Race offered. "Can you do me a favor and help with keeping this a short visit? She's overwhelmed. They both are."
"Of course," Sarah promised.
"Thank you, mom." Then his eyes drifted back to Jessie with worry and he did not like what he found. She was talking to Benton, but nervously glancing to the corner of the room. What he saw when he followed her gaze made his blood boil. Hadji was talking to Tyler. No doubt trying to convince him to leave quietly.
Race stalked toward them with no intention of negotiating. He pushed Hadji aside and grabbed Tyler's shoulder in one move. Digging his thumb into the soft spot between Tyler's neck and shoulder blade. Tyler squeaked in pain as he was led from the room in the death grip.
"Let go," Tyler begged. "Please. That really hurts."
Race did not let go until they reached the elevators. He slapped the down button as hard as he wanted to slap Tyler and used his body to block any escape attempt. The elevator doors opened before Tyler even caught his footing and Race pushed him inside. Following.
Tyler squeezed himself into the corner and rubbed his shoulder. "I think you caused damage, asshole."
Race laughed. "You picked the wrong day to piss me off."
"Do you have any idea who my father is?" Tyler shot back. Entitled.
"Yes." Race leveled him with a look. "And I don't give a fuck."
"Fine. I'm gone," Tyler conceded.
"Too late for that," Race shrugged.
"What does that mean?" Tyler pushed and then he straightened.
Race had to hold back his grin. He could tell from Tyler's body language that he planned to bolt as soon as the doors opened. Race could not decide if he wanted to trip him or just grab him by the collar. Pull him back like a cartoon character. He decided on the shirt. Grabbing a handful as soon as the doors opened.
"Scream and you'll be dead before you hit the ground," Race threatened.
"What?" Tyler choked out. "This is crazy."
"Don't test me, kid. It's been a rough few days and my patience is gone," Race growled.
Race all but dragged Tyler from the elevator. They were on the second floor of the parking garage. A quick look around told him they were alone. His eyes almost immediately landed on his target and he headed for it. A stone pillar that was painted red with the number eleven painted in white. He moved his hand to the back of Tyler's neck when they reached the pillar.
"Please…"
Tyler's plea was interrupted when Race pressed his face into the stone surface. Hard. "Shut….up…now," Race ordered through his teeth. "It's my turn to talk. I thought my daughter was clear that she wanted you to stay away, huh? I can still see the evidence of her handiwork on your FACE. That's my girl."
"Ahhhhh," Tyler whined when Race crushed his bruised face further.
"I actually thought Jonny was pretty clear too," Race continued. "When he threatened to kill you by the pool. Oh…and when he wrapped his hands around your throat in the conference room. But since none of that got through…I'll take my shot now. Jonny and my daughter…they were drawing on emotion when they went after you. That's not how I operate, Tyler. Did she ever tell you what I do?"
"No. I'll leave," Tyler begged. "I won't come back. I promise."
"A man is only as good as his word, son. My dad taught me that. Unfortunately, you've proven that your words are not worth much," Race insulted. "I protect good people from bad things," he continued. "And I do that by ANY means necessary. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"I did this for complete strangers for years. So what do you think I'll do for the people Iove?" Race baited.
"I'm sorry," Tyler cried.
"Do you think I'll tell your sweet mother about your father's mistress in New York? She's barely older than you by the way. Do you think I'll tell your little sister how her big brother treats women? Do you think I'll tell the authorities about your little side business at school? Do you think I'll lose one wink of sleep over burning your life to the ground?" Race threw Tyler to the ground at that.
Tyler rolled over slowly and stood even slower. He stared at Race with hesitation. Unsure if that was the cue to leave.
"Stay away from my daughter," Race warned. "Or I will end life as you know it. Treat women with more respect…or I will end life as you know it."
"Okay," Tyler nodded.
"Leave now," Race demanded. He watched Tyler scurry off. It was not as satisfying as he had hoped. He still wanted to put his fist through a wall. He still wanted to beat Clay to death with his bare hands. He pushed those desires down though and took big strides back to the elevator. He could not do either of those things. All he could do was give his daughter some peace of mind.
He ignored the looks he received from nurses and orderlies when he stepped back onto Jessie's floor. He just focused on the door of her room. Her eyes found his as soon as he walked in. He winked and smiled when she visibly relaxed. Jessie was surrounded and making everyone else feel better about the situation. He knew it the last thing she wanted to be doing. His brave girl. His eyes found Estella's next. Eating quietly on one of the couches. Their brave girl.
"Hungry?" Estella asked.
"Starved," he smiled.
XXX
A few hours into the party, Jonny identified the feeling he could not place while watching her come down the stairs in her new dress.
Possessive.
And the feeling compounded the more they networked. Jonny tried to make a game of it to ease his frustration. Each time a new conversation began, Jonny started the clock over in his head and made bets with himself. Waiting to see how long it took before their eyes travelled south or lingered too long. One 'gentleman' was so obvious that Jonny cleared his throat loudly and pulled Jessie closer in an unsubtle manner.
Jessie excused them from the conversation – graciously of course – and led Jonny to a quiet corner.
"Quest," she scolded. "Lock it up."
"These assholes…," Jonny trailed off and threw his hands up.
She laughed at him and he did not appreciate it. "I love you…but you're being ridiculous. It's human nature to look at someone you find attractive. You stare at me so much you're lucky my dad doesn't smack you hourly."
"Jess…"
"You do!"
"I never said I didn't," he argued. "But they could at least TRY to hide it when I'm standing right next to you."
Jessie laughed again. "Like anyone could hide it from you. You don't even pretend to participate in the conversations. You stand there like my bodyguard and look for it."
"It's disrespectful and it's fucking creepy," Jonny continued without missing a beat.
"It is," she agreed. "But it doesn't really bother me."
"It bothers me," Jonny shot back and slapped his chest.
"I just turn it to my advantage," she justified.
"That bothers me too," he looked at her like she had three heads. "Do you actually think that makes me feel better, Jess?" She smiled softly again and it disarmed him. "Are you just fucking with me?"
"No," she put a hand over his heart. "I promise."
He chuckled. "Doesn't make me feel better either." She patted her lip with a finger. He leaned down and kissed her. "Making a dent," he concluded.
"Ready to get back out there?" she asked.
"I need to hit the head first," he announced. "I'll meet you out there."
"Hey," she called out. Then she gave him a long kiss.
Jonny pulled back slow. Surprised. Public displays of affection were not her thing. "I love you," he told her.
"I love you more," she grinned. "Hurry back."
Jonny took off in a good mood. She had that effect on him. But his good mood evaporated almost as fast as it had arrived. She was like a rollercoaster. He caught sight of her from behind. Already on to the next conversation. She was talking to someone younger this time and Jonny felt his annoyance tick up the closer he got. Once he was close enough to hear their conversation he knew his instinct was on point. He already disliked the guy.
"That's a unique viewpoint," the guy praised. "You're clearly someone to be reckoned with. Beautiful and incredibly smart."
"Thank you," Jessie nodded.
Jonny stared daggers at the back of her head and then over her shoulder at the guy. Neither noticed him and it was pissing him off.
"So when do I get to see you again?" the guy asked bluntly.
"I'm sure we'll cross paths at the next one," she responded politely.
Jonny got angrier when she did not come out with a straight no. Then the guy took a step closer to her.
"I can't wait that long," he flirted. "How about this weekend? I haven't been able to keep my eyes off you all night."
Jonny did not wait for her to answer this time. "Then you must've noticed me too," he interrupted. "Seeing as she's been glued to my hip for the last two hours."
"Can't say that I did," the guy recovered fast and extended his hand to Jonny. "Can you blame me? I'm Jeremy. You are?"
Jonny put his arm around her waist and watched Jeremy's hand drop. "The boyfriend."
"Ah….well," Jeremy turned his attention back to Jessie and handed her a card. "Please do call me when you're looking for something more mature."
Jessie simultaneously took the card and pressed her hand into the center of Jonny's chest to hold him back. "He's not worth it, Quest. Let's just go."
Jonny took a deep breath and led her away. He wanted to leave more than he wanted to argue. He calmed down a little when she dropped the card on a waiter's tray, but he still needed fresh air.
"Jonny…"
"Why didn't you tell him about me?" he interrupted.
"You didn't even give me a chance," she defended.
"Okay," he scoffed and then repeated her words. "I'm sure we'll see each other at the next one."
"You're…" she trailed off.
"What?" he pushed.
"Smarter than this," she finished. "Think with a different head and then replay the conversation."
"Confident I'll still be annoyed," he shot back.
Jessie stopped short and crossed her arms. Jonny turned and waited.
"Get over it," she ordered. "Get over it or figure out a way to deal with it. I'm not gonna stop building connections to placate you. I'm not," she punctuated firmly. "We don't all have Benton Quest as a father."
Jonny scrunched his face up in frustration. "Oh yeah…your dad's a real slacker."
"Not what I meant and you know it," she growled.
"Babe, we both know my dad loves you as much as me. Maybe more," he laughed. "You don't need these assholes. My dad would open any door for you. All you'd have to do is ask. Hell…I'd be money you won't even need him though."
Jessie shook her head in disbelief. "I don't know where to start with that statement. Of course I plan to do it on my own, but building relationships is part of that. I don't want to trade on your father's name. You should understand that better than anyone. Just...You're my partner. Be my partner and understand."
Jonny looked down at the ground and groaned. She had disarmed him again. "You're right. I'm sorry, Jess."
"Thank you," she uncrossed her arms and grabbed his hand. "I have no interest in fighting with you tonight. Come on…let's check this place out."
"It does come from a good place," he added once they were away from the crowd.
She squeezed his hand. "I know."
They walked in comfortable silence for a while. She held his hand tight and rubbed the pad her thumb in circles over his skin. They walked until they could no longer hear the sounds of the party. Down a long hallway that had several other hallways shooting off from it. Most of which were roped off. These parties were generally held in rented out homes with only certain sections available. Jonny focused on her clicking heels and her head on his shoulder as they walked.
Jessie stopped them a moment later and peered down one of the darkened hallways. "Is that a Grotjahn?" she asked in awe and a smile grew on her face.
Jonny squinted, but could not tell. Then he shrugged and stepped into the roped off area. "Let's go find out," he suggested. Extending his hand to her.
"Quest…we're not allowed back there," she pointed out the obvious.
Jonny spread his arms wide. "Where's your sense of adventure?"
"This is disrespectful," she rebuked.
"Fine," he rolled his eyes. "I'll go see for myself."
"Wait," she whisper yelled. He did and stared her down. "Okay…but wait." She grabbed onto his shoulder and reached down to remove her shoes. "You can hear me coming a mile away in these things."
Jonny took the shoes from her and offered his hand again to help her over the rope. She padded over to the painting with excitement. He settled in next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist.
"It is," she whispered. "Amazing. It's beautiful."
"It is," he grinned. Staring at her. He liked watching her as she enjoyed the work.
She gave him a sideways glance and rolled her eyes. "You hate contemporary art," she challenged.
"Did you know that Grotjahn broke his arm skiing? Hurt it so bad that he had to change his approach to painting. Probably wouldn't have painted this if not for that accident and this is from his most profitable collection by far," he rattled off.
She stared at him wide eyed. "Is any of that true?" she grinned.
"All of it," he shot back. "Fact check me, baby."
"Why do you know all that?" she asked.
He shrugged. "You're really in to it. Figured I'd make an effort even though I don't see the appeal. Come on," he guided her. "Looks like there's more."
The smile did not leave her face as she took in each work of art. She sighed happily after the last one. "Never stop surprising me?" she asked.
He had her back pulled tight against his chest and a hand up her dress before she could say another word. His hand moved swiftly from her hip to her underwear and then slipped inside without waiting for an invitation.
"Oh," her head slammed into his shoulder. Jonny pushed forward when she did not say no. He pushed until he had her pressed against the closest door. His body was flush with hers while he focused all his attention on his middle finger, which was making lazy circles around her clit. Her hips encouraged everything he was doing. They were both breathing heavily. "Can you get the door?" he whispered in her ear. Hoping it was not locked. "My hands are full, baby."
"Right," she sighed. Reaching for the knob blindly and turning. She would have fallen forward if not for him. Jonny walked them into the room. Shutting and locking the door behind him. Dropping her shoes, but never letting up with his hand. He used his hand to guide her to the adjacent wall. Trapping her against it and then changing the movement of his finger.
The room was dark, but there was enough moonlight coming through the window that he saw her eyelids flutter. "I like this game," she swallowed.
He traced a message against her and she would try to guess it. Never got it right. She would lose focus too fast.
"Mmm," she moaned against him.
He took a step closer and brushed his erection against her leg. He wanted her to feel what she did to him. "This is disrespectful," he baited. "We should probably stop." He started kissing her neck.
"Don't care." She threw her head back and arched off the wall. "Do not stop," she ordered.
"Admit you'd be jealous if a pretty girl asked me out in front of you and I didn't say no flat out," he demanded. Biting her earlobe.
"I would," she called out.
Jonny stepped back and took his hand with him. She slumped against the wall and gave him an angry glare. His eyes had adjusted and he saw it clearly.
"Not nice," she growled.
Jonny gave her an evil grin and licked his finger. "And you haven't been teasing me all night?"
She straightened a little and then grinned right back.
Jonny grabbed a handful of her dress and pulled her into a heated kiss. Once she wrapped her arms around his neck, he slipped his hands to the back of her thighs and lifted.
"Mmm," she wrapped her legs around him too and bit his lip in response.
Jonny moved further into the room with no real plan. He just wanted to lay her out on the first piece of furniture he stumbled upon. He did a moment later. Sitting her atop a grand piano, unhooking her legs from his waist and spreading them. Then he unzipped his pants and pulled himself out in a hurry. He did not have the patience to remove her underwear. He pulled them to the side and pushed inside.
"Fuck," he called out in pleasure. His head dropped between his shoulders and he gripped her hips hard to keep her where he wanted. Jessie laid back onto the piano and wrapped her legs around him again. Encouraging him. He was moving before she settled and set a demanding pace.
Her head fell to the side and he stared at her neck. Wishing he had taken the time to undress her, but not enough to actually stop and do it. Someone could have walked into the room and he would not have stopped. He needed her too much. He closed his eyes and tried to slow down his mind. His hips moved faster though. Chasing the release he craved.
"Look at me," she told him.
He did and when she had his full attention she arched her back and reached behind her. He could not control his reaction when he heard her zipper coming down. She shimmied the material down to her waist so he could see her breasts. "Yes," he groaned. Moving even faster. Orgasm crashed over him.
The next thing he recalled was breathing heavily with his head between her breasts. She was taking deep breaths too and stroking his hair lovingly. He straightened unsteadily and smiled down at her. She sat up in a flash and kissed him.
"You're insane," she mumbled against his lips.
"You're mine," he shot back.
"Yours," she agreed. He kissed her again. Quite happy with himself when he ended it and she kept her eyes closed. He pulled out and tucked himself back in his pants carefully. She was grinning broadly when he turned back. Looking quite happy with herself. "Feel better, stud? Now that you've staked your claim?" she teased.
"No…I'm not done," he informed her. Sliding her back about a foot and then burying his head between her legs. He laughed when she laid down again and whispered his name. He intensified his actions until he had her coming hard against his tongue. Jonny wiped at his face when he was finished. Standing and watching her recover with a cocky smile.
He offered his hand once her breathing evened out and helped her to her feet. Then he helped her with her dress. Then he pulled her head between his hands and gave her a long kiss. "I've found my preferred method of dealing with jealousy," he flirted.
"I'm on board," she agreed. "Now…how do I look?" she asked. Straightening her dress.
"Beautiful," he responded predictably.
She rolled her eyes. "Do I look like you just fucked me?" she asked more bluntly.
"Yes," he smiled.
She pushed him away hard and walked by him to collect her shoes. "Well…you better find me a bathroom so I can clean up." He caught up fast and slipped an arm around her waist playfully instead. Kissing her neck. "I'm serious, Quest. If we get caught, you're not getting laid for a month."
"Challenge accepted," he chuckled. Grabbing her hand to lead the way.
"That was supposed to be a threat," she grumbled.
XXX
"Not a hair out of place," he praised as she walked out of the bathroom giving him a look. He offered his arm and she looped hers through it. Holding on tight and being quiet until they were back in the main room. "Dance?" he asked. She nodded and he led her to the middle of the floor. Feeling like the luckiest man there. He pulled her close and swayed in a practiced circle. When the slow song ended and an up-tempo one began, he still kept her close.
She lifted her head from his shoulder and kissed his nose. "You're insane."
"Just love you," he defended. "You okay? Got quiet on me."
"I was thinking that we've made a dangerous habit of this?" she admitted.
He furrowed his brow. "What?"
"Sneaking off during parties," she pointed out.
"That's the only part I like," he joked.
"I'm serious."
"Me too," he told her.
She let it go. "Jonny?"
"Hmm?"
"Why do you let it get to you so bad?" she wanted to know. Changing gears.
He met her big searching eyes and decided to be completely honest. "Because I'm afraid of losing you," he said like it was obvious. "Because you're incredible and I'm not the only one who sees that. Because I know I don't deserve you…no matter how many times you tell me that I do. I try to fight it, baby. But sometimes…and it's harder knowing that you're leaving." He saw her swallow hard. "Because…"
"Shup up," she interrupted and her face reddened. "That's…you're the only one I want, Quest. The only one I trust, which is bigger for me. Every night…I'm going home alone or I'm going home with you. Those are the only options. Just do me a favor and TRY to remember that in the future? You're the only one that gets to take me home."
Jonny woke with a start. The dream did not fade fast. He was disoriented and sore. He had not intended to fall asleep on the bathroom floor.
"Fuck," he groaned. Standing unsteadily and leaning on the sink. Splashing cold water on his face. That woke him up fast. Then he turned off the shower. The water had long since gone cold. He felt guilty for being away so long.
As soon as the sounds of running water died, another hit his ear. Multiple conversations. It was clear to him that several people were in her room. "Fuck," he groaned again. Guilt compounding. He did not want to go out there, but he could not leave her to deal with it alone.
He opened the door and every head turned at the sound. "Hi," he sighed, looking around the room and running a hand through his hair. He turned to Jessie, but was distracted before he could get a word out. Mary slammed into his chest hard. He was not expecting it and had to take a step back to absorb the hit. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and then dropped them just as fast. Rushing by him and into the bathroom. Slamming the door.
"Jesus Christ," he mumbled. Rolling his eyes and then staring back at Jessie. His annoyance faded when she shot him the 'be nice' look. He smiled. It was a bit of normalcy amongst the chaos. But the chaos quickly came back to the forefront. He was the center of attention and it made him uncomfortable. He wiped at the sweat forming along his hairline. He wanted to leave again, but this time he wanted to take her with him.
Jessie cleared her throat to make sure she had his attention. "Can you go check on Brenda for me?"
"What?" Jonny furrowed his brow.
"I'd like to know how she's doing," Jessie added. "And I'm sure she'd be happy to see you."
His heart skipped a beat. She was giving him an out. He walked toward her instead. "I love you," he announced for all to hear. Sarah moved aside to make room for him at her bedside. He pulled her into a tight hug and she relaxed against him.
"Go," she whispered in his ear. "Save yourself. You already saved me."
"I'm not leaving you," he argued.
That was all she needed to hear.
"How long was I gone?" he continued. "I nodded off. I'm sorry."
She sat back, leaned her forehead against his and wrapped her hands around his face. So it felt like they had a little privacy. He did the same. "Don't apologize for what you need," she told him.
"I can't…"
"I can handle my own family and friends," she interrupted. He quirked an eyebrow in doubt. "Go take care of my best friend," she ordered. "Then come back and take care of yours."
"I think you're amazing." He kissed her firmly. For longer than he ever had without complete privacy. "Love," he mumbled against her lips.
"Crazy love," she grinned.
Jonny got off the bed reluctantly. Scanned the room quickly and smiled awkwardly. "I'll be back soon."
She watched him go and then looked at Hadji. Nodding for him to follow. She smiled when Dr. Quest went too.
XXX
Jonny walked down the hall aimlessly and leaned against a nurse's station toward the end. Still blown away by how selfless she was being. Not that she was selfish. She was not. He could never call her that and mean it. But when it came to acting selfless in their relationship or making sacrifices, he had always been the one to take the leap. Now it felt more balanced. More real. She was his partner. His life. She let him walk away because it was easier on him. Even though it was harder on her. She was moving across the country for him.
His heart was racing. Then his father broke into his thoughts. "Jonny? Are you alright?"
"Hi Pop," Jonny greeted. "Hadj. Yeah…I'm good. Why?"
"You look like you've seen a ghost. What's on your mind?" Benton asked.
Jonny huffed. Then he grinned. "Jessie…I love her. She's…I love her," he said in awe.
"I know," Benton smiled indulgently.
"No," Jonny shook his head. "I really love her. All the way."
"Yes," Benton laughed. "You've made that quite clear, son. Now…let's go. I know you must be hungry."
"Yes," Jonny admitted. Following his father and brother. Thinking about his girl.
'Keep it together, Quest.'
XXX
"When's the last time we ate tuna fish sandwiches?" Jonny mused. They were at a table in the corner of the hospital cafeteria eating. The selection was limited. But Jonny had no complaints. It was quiet and he was starting to relax.
Hadji laughed before responding. "I think it was after the pink lemonade incident."
Jonny's laughter followed. A big belly laugh. "Oh my god…I forgot about that."
"I can see why you'd want to," Hadji teased. "She almost killed you."
"Fuck…she is scary when she gets that angry," Jonny added.
"Then why do you have a smile on your face?" Hadji asked.
"Hard to explain," Jonny deflected.
"What's the pink lemonade incident?" Benton chimed in.
"You don't remember that day by the pool when Jonny 'accidentally' knocked over a jug of pink lemonade and the entire thing poured onto Jessie while she was sunbathing," Hadji explained.
"It WAS an accident," Jonny defended.
"You knocked it over at the perfect angle for maximum coverage," Hadji chuckled.
Jonny licked his lips. "No further comment."
"I do remember this now," Benton acknowledged. "Mrs. Evans was on vacation and Race took Jessie out to dinner so she wouldn't kill you. We were left to fend for ourselves."
"And the tuna tasted as good then as it does now," Jonny exclaimed, stuffing the last bite into his mouth and leaning back.
Benton waited a beat before breaking the silence again. "How are you, Jonny? Real answer."
Jonny looked between his father and brother a few times before responding. "Hadji first. How did everything work out with Olivia? Did you take my advice?"
"Who's Oliva?" Benton asked.
Hadji narrowed his eyes at Jonny. "Thanks for that and sure I'll let you deflect onto me."
"Thank you brother. But I do really want to know. So…how did it go?"
"Who's Olivia?" Benton asked again.
"His girlfriend," Jonny baited.
Hadji turned to his father and put his hands up. "She's not my girlfriend."
"He wants her to be," Jonny pushed.
"Jonny," Hadji sighed. "Will you stop, please?"
"Stop what?" Jonny shot back. "Did you ask her out or not?"
"Yes," Hadji caved. "I did."
"And?" Jonny pushed. Hadji's smile said it all. Jonny clapped boisterously. Embarrassing his brother further. "Why didn't you tell me this morning?"
Hadji narrowed his eyes again. "When was an appropriate time to bring it up?"
Jonny sobered. "Yeah…I guess. You're welcome by the way."
"I hate you," Hadji shook his head.
"No you don't," Jonny grinned. "And don't worry…I'm a trove of good advice. Available twenty-four-seven for you."
"I'm truly afraid to take you up on that," Hadji admitted.
Benton sat back and listened to his sons banter. It made him happy. Things were really changing, but some things never did. Hadji turned to him once they finished.
"It's really nothing to even talk about yet, father."
"If you like her…I'm sure she's wonderful," Benton concluded. The sound of Jonny's chair scraping against the floor caught his attention next. Benton stood to head an exit off. "Your turn, Jonny."
"Later," Jonny shrugged. "I need to get back."
"You don't actually. No more deflecting," Benton demanded. "She has plenty of people looking out for her."
"Those people aren't me," Jonny argued. "It's not fair to her that I've been gone this long."
"She sent you away," Benton pointed out. "Let's not waste that gift. You owe me a conversation."
"I'll go back and be her buffer," Hadji announced. He left before Jonny could respond.
Jonny watched him go. Conflicted.
XXX
Hadji walked back into Jessie's room intent on keeping his promise, but was surprised to find that the crowd was already gone. Only Race and Estella remained.
"Fast visit," he commented.
"Yeah…my mother ushered everyone out like a drill sergeant after dinner," Race chuckled. "It was impressive."
"Where's Jonny?" Jessie asked immediately.
Hadji sat in a chair by her bed. "Talking with father. They went for a walk."
"That's good," Jessie smiled.
"He sent me back to save you in the interim," Hadji winked.
"I could do worse," Jessie sighed happily.
"Guess I'm late though," Hadji shrugged.
"You can distract me," Jessie offered.
"Sure," Hadji agreed. "How?"
"Tell me about Olivia," she wagged her eyebrows.
Hadji's smile dropped. "He told you."
"Of course," Jessie shrugged. "And I want to know everything. Why's this girl good enough for you?"
"Who's Olivia?" Race demanded.
Hadji slumped back in his chair and stared at Jessie for a minute. "You and my brother are made for each other," he scowled.
"Tell me something I don't know," she teased. "Like how you met Olivia."
Hadji wanted to fight it, but he was too happy to have his friend back to fight. "At school. Next question?" Instead of asking another question, Jessie covered her face with her hands and shook her head. "What's wrong?" he rushed. In unison with her parents.
"Shit," Jessie dropped her hands and slapped the bed. Then she started looking around the room. "Where's my phone?"
"Charging," Estella answered as she walked to the outlet to retrieve it. "What is it?"
Jessie grabbed the phone from her mother and scrolled through it furiously before her shoulders sagged and she answered. "I missed the deadline for finalizing my class schedule next semester. Damnit," she complained. "Now I have a hole in my schedule. I locked down four classes last week, but was debating the fifth with my advisor. I was supposed to call him with my final answer day before yesterday. He warned me multiple times that the deadline was the deadline," she ranted. "I should've pulled the trigger sooner. I have several missed calls from him and a few emails," she pointed to the phone.
"Perhaps he chose for you?" Hadji offered. "Knowing that would be better than missing credits?"
"Maybe," Jessie bit her lip and tapped the phone against her leg. Clearly agitated.
"Would it be the worst thing to give yourself a break for the next few weeks?" Estella added softly.
Jessie looked at her like she was crazy. "I'd fall behind. I can't let that happen."
"I agree with you mother," Race interjected and proactively put a hand up to ward off Jessie's retort. "I know you don't want to fall behind. What you want and what you need are not always the same thing," he pointed out. "Just sleep on it?"
Jessie tapped the phone against her leg three more times and then made a decision. She turned the phone over in her hands and called. She bit her lip and shook her foot as she waited. Hoping the other end would pick up.
"Jessie?"
"Professor Oaks," she cleared her throat. "Thank you for picking up. I'm sorry to call you on a holiday. I hope I'm not interrupting time with your family."
"I'm just thankful to hear from you," the professor told her. "I was very concerned."
"Yeah…I'm sorry about that," she sniffed. "I was…"
"Your boyfriend explained the situation," the professor offered so she did not have to explain. "I'm thankful to hear from you," he said again.
"You talked to Jonny?" she asked in confusion.
"He had your phone," the professor explained. "I called a few times about your schedule. He called me back."
"That's why I'm calling now," she swallowed. "I was wondering if you may have selected for me to fill my schedule?"
"I didn't," the professor answered. "But Jonny did."
"He did?" her breath hitched. "How? I haven't talked to him about my schedule yet at all?"
"He gave a rather impassioned plea to extend the deadline first. I couldn't do that…"
"I understand," Jessie rushed.
"He asked me to explain our debate briefly and then selected Professor Donovan's class. Was insistent that's what you'd want?"
Jessie smiled and could feel herself getting emotional. "He was right. Thank you. See you in a few weeks." Jessie hung up and let the phone drop to the bed. She closed her eyes and did not try to stop her tears. "Can someone go get him for me please?"
XXX
Benton took Jonny out to the courtyard. Hoping the fresh air would do him some good. They sat next to each other at the best-lit picnic table. He stayed quiet. He wanted Jonny to do the talking.
"Where do you want me to start?" Jonny asked after a few minutes. "What do you want to know?"
"I want to know how you are and what I can do to help," Benton offered like it was obvious.
"I'm…just trying to keep it together for her," Jonny admitted. "I'm throwing all I have at just keeping it together and I'm only succeeding half the time. I'm all over the fucking place. I snapped at her earlier…which can't happen again."
"You're always too hard on yourself, son."
"I need to do this the right way," Jonny continued. "I'm figuring it out as I go. But I don't know what I'm doing, Pop. How do I help her? What's the best way? I'm good at listening. I can listen for days if she's willing to talk. But how do I keep her talking? And is that even enough? She's all over the place too. One minute she's breaking my balls or joking around like normal. The next she's crying. I'm trying to keep up as best I can."
"I need you to know that's normal," Benton explained. "She's processing a lot. What about you?" he pushed.
"Huh? What about me?" Jonny asked. The frustration was clear in his voice. "This didn't happen to ME. It happened to HER."
"The hell it didn't happen to you," Benton scoffed. "You killed a man," he whispered.
Jonny closed his eyes and fisted his hands against the table. 'How do I make him understand?' Jonny was quiet for a while trying to figure that out.
"I know that must be weighing on you," Benton started again. "If you can't talk to me about it…if you need an impartial ear…"
"Are you trying to get me to a shrink?" Jonny interrupted. "That won't be necessary."
"I'm sure a professional could offer some advice on how to help Jessie," Benton added.
Jonny smiled. "Good strategy," he acknowledged. "…but I'm not talking to a shrink. I don't need one. If I get the urge to pour my heart out…she'll be the one on the receiving end."
"Okay. If you change your mind…" Benton let that hang. He knew better than to push when Jonny started to dig in his heels.
"I appreciate what you're doing," Jonny offered. "And I'll let you know if I begin losing sleep over it…but I don't anticipate that happening."
"Jonny…"
"Pop," Jonny interrupted and held his father's gaze. "I don't regret it. I did what I had to…to save her. I don't regret it. I do want to apologize again for worrying you though. It was unavoidable, but I do regret that part."
"It wasn't unavoidable," Benton argued. "But I know we'll never agree on that point."
"No we won't," Jonny pursed his lips. "And it doesn't make any sense to me."
"Son…"
"Of all people," Jonny rushed. "I don't want this to come off as disrespectful in any way…but why don't you understand? I thought we reached a middle ground the other day."
Benton gave him a hard look. "I understand how you feel, Jonny. You're the one that doesn't understand. Because you're not a parent. I thought we reached common ground too. And then you went dark with no warning, killed a man, got arrested and God knows what else. Inside twenty-four hours."
Jonny clenched his jaw and spoke through his teeth. "To get her back and I'd do it again."
"Race…"
Jonny stood. "Race didn't….I DID."
"SIT DOWN," Benton yelled.
Jonny did. Reluctantly.
"My point is that you've been through the ringer yourself," Benton continued in a softer tone.
Jonny looked down at the table and broke down. He could not hear that without thinking about everything she had been through. And he could not think about everything she had been through without getting upset. It hit him like a freight train. "Fuck," he clenched his fists harder.
Benton reached over and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "It's a lot."
Jonny sniffed and tried to keep the emotion out of his voice, but failed. "It wasn't a choice for me, Pop. It wasn't right or wrong. It was her life or the animal that was hurting her. He was gonna kill her. That's a fact," Jonny shook his head in anger. "Did you read her chart? What he did to her?"
"Jonny…"
"Did you READ IT?" he snapped.
"Yes."
"Well…I saw it," Jonny swallowed. "He drugged her, took off her clothes, strapped her down, cut her, bur…burned her…I can't breathe when I think about it happening. And once I start thinking about it…"
Benton sighed. He had read her chart and had seen some of her injuries with his own eyes. But hearing his son explain it was twice as hard. And made it impossible not to think about himself. "I'm so sorry this happened."
"It's…all over," Jonny cried. Motioning in a big circle with his hand. "She won't be able to forget it any time soon. The evidence is all over her skin."
"Unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to forget it anyway," Benton pointed out. "Neither of you will. Let me help."
"But then I think of the alternative," Jonny continued. Sounding out of breath and wiping at his face angrily. "I remember the two dead girls I found who looked so much like her. That I'm actually lucky. Because it could've…so easily been her instead. But it wasn't. She's still breathing and beautiful and driving me nuts," he laughed without humor. "I get to hold her tonight," Jonny swallowed and then glanced at his father. He did not have to guess why there was a faraway expression on his face. "I didn't expect to feel this way," he whispered. "To need another person so much."
"It comes out of nowhere," Benton agreed.
Jonny put a hand over his heart and smiled through his tears. "She crept in when I wasn't looking, Pop."
Benton smiled too. "The best ones will do that to you."
"And I failed her," Jonny's voice broke.
"What?" Benton asked in shock. "You most certainly didn't."
"I did," he cried. "I didn't protect her from him. Now she has to live with the scars."
Benton's heart dropped. "Did he rape her?"
Jonny wiped at his face again and straightened. Something else he supposed he should be grateful for. "No. He…"
A sharp outtake of breath interrupted the moment. They turned around to find Race behind them. Staring at Jonny intensely. "Are you sure?" he rushed. "I need you to be sure. Are you sure?"
"Yes," Jonny nodded firmly and tried to catch his bearings. "I am."
"How sure?" Race pushed.
Jonny looked down at the ground. Exhausted from an emotional day. "She told me he didn't. So I'm sure."
"You told ME you were afraid she wouldn't tell you everything," Race pushed harder.
"Holding back is different than outright lying," Jonny challenged angrily. "Don't put words in my mouth."
Benton stood. He put a hand on Jonny's shoulder and held the other in front of Race. "It's been a long day for you both. Race, he's been interrogated enough."
Jonny met Race's stare and narrowed his gaze. "She didn't lie to me. I'm positive."
Race put both hands over his face and took three deep breaths. Then he dropped them and placed a hand on Jonny's other shoulder. "I'm sorry, kid. I didn't mean to be a jerk. I wanted to ask her myself, but…I couldn't find the words or the right time."
"Okay…it's fine," Jonny shrugged it off.
Race sat across from them. He folded his hands and rested his head atop them. "Jonny…you DID NOT fail her and she's asking for you. Go," he pointed to the door.
Race and Benton both chuckled before sobering as they watched him run off.
XXX
Jonny ran into her room and pumped the breaks a few feet in front of her bed. She was crying. "What's wrong?" She cried harder at the sight of him and lifted her arms. He rushed her and pulled her as close as possible. "Tell me," he rubbed her back.
"I just love you," she whispered.
Jonny leaned back and wrapped his hands around her face. "Oh…I know that must be upsetting," he teased.
"Shut up," she laughed.
Jonny used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. "Why are you crying?"
"Happy tears," she promised.
"Happy tears," he repeated. "Okay…give me some good news."
She pulled him into another hug. "You picked my last class for me. Thank you."
"Mmm," he buried his head in her neck. A cold fear washing over him. He knew it was coming, but the thought of her leaving his sight any time soon…
"Thank you," she told him.
Jonny sat back again. He stared at her face and watched her eyes fill with more tears. He swiped at the wetness and pushed hair behind her ears. "Jess, listen…"
"I'm sorry for being so emotional," she cut him off. "I hate this."
He kissed her forehead and then leaned against it. "Just hold on to me, baby. I'm a pillar of emotional stability," he bit his lip and then laughed at himself.
'Been at least five minutes since I've cried,' he thought.
Jessie ran a hand through his hair. "I'll take you up on that offer," she sighed. "Sounds perfect."
"Let's talk about school," Jonny cleared his throat. He noticed Hadji and Estella leaving and was glad for the privacy.
Jessie kissed him as soon as they were alone. "How did you know which class to pick?" she grinned.
"I didn't," Jonny shrugged.
"Then you have have amazing instincts," she praised. "But I already knew that."
Jonny laughed. "I actually relied on your amazing instincts, babe. Asked your professor to tell me which class you focused on first."
She kissed him again. "Thank you for taking care of that. Seriously. I was so relieved when I called and found out."
Jonny looked down at her lap. "I know how important it is to you and I knew you'd be back and worrying about school sooner rather than later."
She lifted his head and caressed his face. "You're so good to me, Quest." She leaned in and trapped his bottom lip between hers. She sucked gently and pulled back deliberately. He followed and gave her bottom lip the same treatment. He got lost in it quickly. Licking her lips and brushing his tongue against hers. Grazing his fingertips along her neck and jawline. "Jonny," she whispered.
Jonny used his hands to brace her face and keep their lips apart. "You can't say my name like that."
"Like what?" she played dumb.
"You know what you do to me," he kissed her nose instead.
"Have you had tuna?" she teased.
"Shit…sorry," he put a hand over his mouth.
Jessie fell back. Covering her face and laughing. She popped up just as fast. Wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him with a grin. "Doesn't bother me."
"Romance is gone?" he shot back.
She scratched the back of his head lovingly. "You have white knight in your DNA, baby. I don't see that happening any time soon."
Jonny wanted to talk to her about school, but was enjoying her carefree attitude too much to burst the bubble. He closed his eyes and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Well…your white knight wants to take you to Fiji. Say when?"
"Hmm…that sounds like heaven," she admitted. "We'd get one of those private huts over the water. I'd sleep in every morning," she mused.
"What about me?" he played along. "I wanna sleep in too."
"You can't sleep in," she continued. "You have too much energy to burn, but you'd crawl back in bed with me after your workout. Wake me up right."
"That does sound like heaven," he agreed.
"Yeah…then we'd lay out by the pool all morning. I'll wear something too small on purpose to tease you and we'll play that game all morning to see who breaks first."
"It'll be me," he concluded.
"It will be you," she giggled. "Good thing we sprung for the private pool. Because we only make it back inside half the time. Then I'll need to take a nice long nap before dinner."
"Do I get to nap too?" he asked.
"No," she shook her head. "You'll be jet-skiing or water-skiing. Something fun on the water."
"Staying in bed with you sounds like more fun," he flirted.
"You'll take me to a fancy dinner every night," she continued.
"That's nice of me," he mused.
She shrugged. "Something about treating me like a queen."
"Sounds like me," he agreed.
She kissed him. "Then you take me back to our bed and treat me like a queen some more."
"Shit," he grinned. "I'm gonna need to take power naps and a little blue pill to keep up with you."
She laughed and the sound of it made him feel lighter. "Nah," she pulled his face closer. "Not my Superman."
He kissed her this time. Like there was no chance of interruption. He explored her mouth and she ran her fingers through his hair. He expected her to end it each time she stopped for a breath, but she kept kissing him instead. He caught his bearings when he felt himself falling forward.
"Baby." He dug his fists into the bed and pushed himself upright.
Jessie laid back and covered her face with her hands again. But this time she was not laughing. Jonny rubbed her forearms and then wrapped his hands around her wrists to pull hers away from her face. "Sorry," she mumbled.
"For?" he asked.
She did not answer, but she did curl onto her side and make room for him in the bed. "I'm tired."
Jonny did not even hesitate. He no longer cared about the potential repercussions. Not that he had let them sway him over the last twenty-four hours anyway. If nothing else, the conversation with his father had brought perspective straight to the surface. He kicked off his shoes and climbed under the covers with her. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulled her against his chest and buried his face in her hair. He relaxed when he felt her relax. "What can I do, Jess?"
Jessie gripped his arm with both hands. "I'm just gonna hold on to you, okay?"
Jonny kissed her shoulder. "As long as you need," he told her. Already sounding half asleep.
"How was talking with your dad?" she asked. Tracing his skin with her fingers.
"Exhausting," Jonny admitted.
"Are you okay?" she wanted to know.
"Yes…I promise," he told her. "Perspective."
"Perspective?"
"We're together right now," he said. "And I get to take you home tomorrow."
She squeezed his arm in response. "You're my rock."
"I'm trying," he added quietly.
"Jonny?"
"Mmm?"
"Go to sleep," she whispered instead of continuing the conversation. "I love you."
"Love you."
Jessie stared at the wall for a while and focused on his arm around her as he drifted off. Scolding herself for calling him Superman. Even as a joke. It was the exact wrong thing to say. Especially now. She did not want him taking a comment like that seriously. She did not want him being even harder on himself than he already was. She did not want to do anything that would hurt him. She resolved in that moment to take her father's advice.
"We'll be fine," she whispered.
"Don't go," he whispered back.
"Baby? I thought you were asleep...Jonny?"
"I don't want you to go," he mumbled. "Stay."
"Jonny?"
No answer.
She smiled. It had been a long time since she heard him talk in his sleep. It was always enlightening. She lifted his hand and brought it to her lips. "I'm right here. Have good dreams, love." Jessie tried to relax in his embrace. The sooner she fell asleep, the sooner she could leave. But her mind was racing and replaying all the heavy conversations. Trying to figure out what she needed to retain and what she needed let go for her sake and for his. She was close to drifting off when the realization hit her and her heart started to race.
'Does he not want me to leave for school in January? I can't…'
"Jonny?" she swallowed.
No answer
'Shit.'
Even the thought was upsetting. She did not want to defer a semester. She did not want to hang back in Rockport and dwell on what had happened. She did not know what she would do if he actually asked her to stay. But she did know what was most important and she could feel his warm breath on her neck.