If you were church, I'd get on my knees
Confess my love, I'd know where to be
My sanctuary, you're holy to me
If you were church, I'd get on my knees
I'd get on my knees
Church -Fall Out Boy

No reunion could have been happier, nor an encounter as fulfilling, as theirs had been the night Frederick Hale returned entirely unexpected.

Her mother was completely revived by the sight of her firstborn. The evening was filled with hugs, tears and laughter. Home hadn't felt so much like home in almost a decade.

Days passed in blissful joy. Their mother's health didn't bother them, Margaret's chores didn't bother her, the trouble in Liverpool didn't touch them. Nothing could take away the family's joy at her brother's presence.

On the third day, as her mother had her usual appointment with the doctor, and Mr. Hale had gone out for a lecture, Frederick and Margaret held their first private conversation in years.

Stirring their tea, they were both anxious and unwilling to discuss the heavier topics they had to broach. After years apart, they both wished all of their conversations could be joyful, unfortunately for them, they didn't have the luxury.

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'So, mother doesn't look too bad. When you wrote to me, I got the impression that her end was near. Is it… possible, she has healed?'

'She hasn't. She can't get better. Though I must admit, this is the best I've seen her in months.'

'Maybe she's getting better? Being happy helps the recovery.'

Margaret didn't wish to be insulted by the implication that she and her father weren't capable of making their mother happy.

'I can only hope, but I fear that although your presence has given her strength and joy, that it is not a permanent change.'

'You know her best, Margaret. I trust your judgement. Though I don't like to consider what such an illness might implicate. I love our mother too much to think of her as a mortal being.'

'I don't enjoy the thought either. The last few months have been bad, Fred. I worry on a daily basis. I'm just hoping and praying each day that she might find strength and recover her health. I take as much weight off of her shoulders as possible. Dixon and I try to do the entire household on our own so that she doesn't have to worry about a thing. But it's been heavy.'

'You're doing the household? How?'

'You know, the usual.'

'No I don't. Tell me. I've been away for so long, I have no idea of how you've been living the past few years.'

'The past years don't matter, I lived with aunt Shaw like I did since before you left… But since I came home, mama's health has been frail. So I take care of the budgeting, Dixon arranges the groceries, I iron and clean and bake the cookies. Dixon cooks the food and helps to clean as well… and she also spends a lot of time taking care of mama and holding her company, and a maid takes care of the laundry and the dishes.'

'You do all of that?'

Margaret lifted her shoulders.

'That's the work of a servant and the lady of the house.'

'We cannot spare a fulltime maid, nor can we house one.'

'Margaret, how long have you been living like this? I should've been here for you.'

'It's fine.'

'It isn't, if I had only been able to swallow my morals and accept the hierarchy, I would've still been around to help. You shouldn't have to carry the combined weight of dad's crisis, mother's health and the responsibility of the household... But I couldn't. I'm so sorry.'

'You disobeyed authority- that was bad; but to have stood by, without word or act, while the authority was brutally used, would have been infinitely worse. People know what you did but not the motives that elevate it out of a crime into an heroic protection of the weak. I couldn't have loved you as much as I do if you had stood by. I understand, Frederick. I'm not happy about the price on your head, nor that I can't see you. But I accept that that's the price we're paying. It's the system, not you, who is responsible for the turn of events.'

'Yet I should try taking more care of you. I make enough money in Cadiz I –'

'No Fred, it's fine. We make do. I don't care. Besides, you're planning on extending the family so you'll be needing that money soon enough.'

'Actually… About that…'

'What?'

'I didn't quite know how to break it… So I refrained from talking about it until now. Maybe you can advise me on how to tell mother and father… I'm married to Julia.'

'When did this happen?'

'Two months ago. I didn't know how to tell you by letter. And when I got your letter informing me of mama's health I thought I might as well tell you in person. I couldn't have a wedding in England, and I doubted I could convince you to cross the channel. So I got married, with no family, which greatly saddened me. Know it was not because I didn't love you enough.'

'But isn't she a catholic?'

'So?'

'We're protestants. Has she converted?'

'No, I did.'

'You did?'

Had both her father and brother forsaken their religion? Had both her family members lost their connection to God?

'I don't see why it matters so much. In the end, we both worship the same God and we both go to church. They just have a different way of going about it. I think we humans would spare ourselves a lot of misery if we focussed on our similarities instead of our differences.'

Margaret decided to ignore her feelings and thoughts and tried to focus on the question Frederick had asked her.

'I think mother will be happy to hear of it. She worried so much for you. She was afraid that you'd be lonely and isolated as an Englishman on the Iberian peninsula. And father will be happy for you too, I believe. I don't know if there's an ideal way to break it. But I suggest you don't wait too long. It'll be harder to tell them each day you wait, and their reaction will get worse the longer you wait. There's no reason to hide a marriage, so postponing the news wouldn't be good.'

Frederick nodded.

'Perhaps, when the topic lands on your job… or if you start talking about your job… You could tell them about the brothers you work with… And from there on you can lead the topic to their sister, and mention that as your friendship with them grew, you started growing closer with their sister?'

That brought a smile to his face.

'You guessed from my letter?'

'You were speaking of her in nothing but the most praising terms. I was definitely suspicious.'

'Ha! Leave it to a woman to make the right conclusions before a man even knows his own mind. I was in the midst of falling in love with her when I wrote that letter.'

'You give me too much praise, I'm far from all knowing where emotions are concerned.'

'Whose emotions confuse you, dear sister? Is there another person you can't figure out?'

'No.' Leave it to her brother to jump at conclusions with such eagerness.

'You laugh as if the mere thought is ridiculous. Dear sister, tell me why? Is it because the English men are all ugly and dull? I won't take offence, after living in Spain, I must agree we are a boring lot. It was already quite bad in the country, I can't imagine how awful men in mercantile towns like these must be.'

'They're actually quite agreeable, though they take some getting used to. But to tell you the truth… I don't want to marry. Not with mom like this. How can I be so selfish as to look for a husband and play the part of happy available maiden when my mother is in poor health? It's poor taste.'

'Margaret, you said she might not get better. If you have the possibility to marry with both of them present, I suggest you take it.'

'But then she'll lose another child. Frederick, not a day goes by when she doesn't think of you. If I were to marry, she'd have no children left in the house. Besides, who would take over my responsibilities? Papa? They need me here.'

'Dear sister, I admire your loyalty and sacrifice. Though I wish you felt like you had a choice instead of a duty. I can't solve it for you. But I feel like putting your life on hold isn't the solution. Just lead your life and if no one comes along, then that's fine. But if there is a certain someone, just talk about it with him. Marriage is just a series of negotiations anyway. You can negotiate the terms of your marriage. You can discuss how you'll arrange your life. For example, Julia and I had a problem called Protestantism. I knew it was going to be a problem, yet I proposed before I converted and we discussed what we'd do after she'd accepted. She still lived with her parents and we discussed whether we'd live with them, live separately, or move with them. These were things we had to decide about before we married, but we discussed it together and found a solution. There might be one you're not seeing right now. You can't know how things will turn out, Margaret. Please think about that before you condemn yourself to martyrdom.'

'I'm not a martyr. I have a life. I just choose to arrange my life around mama and papa right now. For example, I'll be going to a castle with some friends, a two day trip.'

Frederick nodded, glad she allowed herself at least some days off.

'Though I'm quite unwilling to stay away for over a day, especially with how precarious mama's health is.'

'What's three days? She'll be fine. You yourself said she hasn't gotten worse lately. Go, I'm here. I'll take over for you. Have some days off Margaret. You worked so hard, you deserve it.'

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They left at the crack of dawn, one carriage filled with overly excited girls and one filled with men.

The ride was a true delight, with Miss Latimer gone, there was not a trace of animosity between the remaining women. All conversation was innocent and devoid of mean commentary. The engaged women were teased for being engaged, and the single women were teased with the prospect of meeting rich castle owning lords and handsome stable boys.

Meanwhile, in the male carriage, business and politics were being discussed, though the occasional crude joke was made as well.

But in the end, everyone arrived and none felt too tired by the trip. So after dropping off their belongings and having a quick lunch, they took off to visit the castle, which was only a fifteen minute walk away from the village.

Miss Gallagher took the time to enjoy the walk with her fiancé, just as Miss Thornton did. Not one to leave a poor lady alone Sir Aldridge immediately joined Margaret so that she wouldn't have to walk alone.

'It appears our absence put us at a disadvantage old chap', Mr. Ball remarked as he went to walk beside Mr. Thornton, at a safe distance from the rest.

'Miss Hale is a free woman, if she prefers him now, we have failed in convincing her before.'

'Perhaps, or we didn't try hard enough.'

Mr. Thornton swallowed all of his injured pride, wounded emotions and jealousy and produced a small laugh.

'Not one to give up easily, I take it, Mr. Ball.'

'There've been many times where I could've given up in my business, or taken peace with being less. I didn't, and my company only grew and flourished because of my perseverance. Why would it be any different in the field of love? Come on, old chap, we aren't getting any younger. We have two unmarried ladies with us, let's not give up. Come on, we're fighters, are we not?'

Mr. Thornton remained silent, but his eyes didn't leave the vision in green. The same green as her eyes.

Mr. Ball's eyes wandered to Miss De Vere, admiring her figure. Though he enjoyed Margaret, he had to admit Miss Gallagher's friend was the most beautiful of the bunch. It went against his nature to give up, yet it could only be seen as a smart decision to pursue an available woman instead of trying to head down a barred path. If Miss Hale had gotten attached to Sir Aldridge, he would only waste his time pursuing her.

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'Are you alright?' Margaret asked Sir Aldridge.

'Me? Never better. Though I'm saddened we couldn't bring my sister as well.'

'Can't you trust them? You've known them for years. I'm sure they would be accepting.'

'My sister is incredibly disappointed and I knew it would've delighted her to come here. I know these people, Miss Hale, and I love them dearly but it's… Hard. It's about my sister, the most precious thing in the world to me.'

Margaret nodded as she kept walking beside him.

'But I'm nervous.'

'Are you?'

'I'm seeing her again. With you all present. For some reason it makes me nervous. But I'm also excited. I'm seeing her again, I get to talk to her again. I've barely slept. Do you know that feeling when something excites and frightens you at the same time, Miss Hale?'

Margaret's cheeks grew hot, her heartbeat picked up, and the urge to look behind her was greater than ever.

She could draw him without having to look at him. A slight frown on his face as usual, eyes a piercing clear blue underneath the sunny sky, black trousers and a dark blue coat accentuating the blue of his eyes.

She paid more attention to him than ever before, yet she felt nervous and uncomfortable just thinking about talking to him.

'I believe I might, to some extent.'

'Yet it is of no use to feel nervous. Well, Miss Hale, maybe I need to talk about something else to divert my attention. What do you think about the nature?'

'I don't believe I've seen enough to make an assessment, Sir Aldridge.'

'When is the right time to make an assessment?'

'Since the women had a conversation during the ride, I couldn't observe the scenery, so thus far I've only seen the town, and now the path towards the castle. The condition of the road is good, and the woods in the distance have a nice amount of trees. The willows around the fields look clean and blooming, which does put me in a spring mood. I've already heard the cheerful tune of many birds, which delights me. I've heard as many birds in the past four months as I have this morning. It's lovely and I'm so glad to finally set my eyes on a country scene again, but I haven't been able to experience anything that feels distinct or unique, compared to other rural areas. I don't wish to insult the region, therefore I rather observe the flora for the remainder of the day before I decide if what I've seen is new and whether I like it more compared to what I've seen before.'

'You're very careful in your judgement, Miss Hale.'

'I like to think that's a good habit of mine. Early judgements are often wrong.'

Again she felt incredibly aware of the figure walking at the end of the group.

'You are a wise woman Miss Hale. I hope I will soon be able to convince you of at least the unique character of the garden. Or rather, the garden can speak for itself. This way.'

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The road split, the main road went on straight ahead, but they turned to the right, a side that had been obscured by some woodland before.

A great building could already be distinguished. The trees started disappearing and a grey brick wall appeared, with behind it towers, bridges, and big structures. The exact expanse of the site couldn't be estimated. The walls were too high to get an overview.

If one had to conquer it in the Middle Ages, one was set for a daunting task. The walls looked sturdy and ominous, but there were bushes of roses around the gates, which were opened in a welcoming gesture.

Sir Aldridge announced the party when a servant came towards them. They were guided towards a bright living. The ceiling was incredibly high, as were the windows, letting in a lot of light and warmth. The furniture and art were old and tasteful, screaming old blood in a way Margaret had never experienced before.

'Sir Aldridge! How delightful. We've sorely missed your presence.'

'Lady Strabolgi! No more than I missed yours, I'm sure. You're still as beautiful and radiant as always. The new year suits you.'

'You flatter me, another year in which I shall get older.'

'Luckily for you, you age like a fine wine, it only gets better.'

'Charmer. You better introduce me to your friends whom you've written me about. It isn't polite to to have a private conversation in front of them.'

'Of course, forgive me lady, my friends.'

Sir Aldridge's smile didn't falter, but Margaret noticed he'd put his hands in his pockets to keep his hands from betraying his nerves.

'This is Lady Marianne Strabolgi, daughter of the current Lord and castle owner David William Cuthbert of Strabolgi… Now what should I tell them about you? She made two of the paintings in this room, she has a delightful singing voice and she's...'

'She's uncomfortable when confronted with so much praise', laughed she.

Everyone nodded or bowed. The blonde woman smiled and nodded back. She wasn't what Margaret had envisioned. She'd expected Venus come to life, or a dignified lady in gemstone colours and a crown. Instead she was dressed in layers of lavender and baby blue, her curls were natural and thick, jumping out of the hairclips and strings of pearls. Her face was bronzed and freckled. She must've spent each sunny day outside.

'These are my friends. There's Mr. Ball and Mr. Gallagher junior from Ball& Gallagher Company. Both fine gentlemen between their late twenties and early thirties. There, with his fiancée Miss Thornton, is Mr. Watson, and beside them stands Miss Gallagher, and her fiancé Mr. Kearney. The last man of our company is Mr. Thornton from Thornton&Co. That brings me to the two ladies on my right: the dark haired one in the green dress is Miss Hale, and the auburn haired one in blue is Miss De Vere.'

Each person presented nodded in turn.

After the presentations, a silence followed. Lady Strabolgi didn't seem as certain as she had been upon entering the room, and now looked at Sir Aldridge for a lead.

'We've already had a light midday meal before we came here. Have you?'

'Oh yes, I'm fine.'

'Might I suggest we visit the gardens then? Is there a servant available?'

'A servant?'

'For the tour?'

'Oh… Oh no, nonsense', she said and Sir Aldridge's face crumpled. 'I'm to lead you myself of course. I believe I've read and heard more about the history of the gardens than the servants. They lead groups around, for sure. But since you're my friend, I thought I would do it myself.'

'If you're sure you don't have something better to do?'

Margaret wondered if she was this awkward herself. The lady kept on offering herself as a guide and Sir Aldridge, in an attempt to be polite, was making her unsure about him wanting her to be there.

'We'd be delighted if you could', said Margaret in an unexpected instant. All eyes in the room settled on her.

'Glad at least someone appreciates the offer', Lady Strabolgi decided with a smile.

'I appreciate it too! I just wouldn't wish for you to feel compelled to do it. Nothing would delight me more!' Sir Aldridge cried at the stab.

'What are we waiting for then?' said Miss Gallagher with a smile. She tried not to look to amused, but failed to do so. She knew too much of Sir Aldridge's sentiments to not laugh at the awkwardness of it all.

Notes:

To my dear commenters:

leilalolalee: Thank you for your comment. It's been trying to create a believable arc, her realizing her feelings for Mr. Thornton in the book came so suddenly so it was hard getting into her head.
sari18: Yes, she knows. Margaret was way too lonely in the book. But she wasn't really close to anyone. I've always wondered how different things would've been if she had a friend with whom she could talk. She's a private person, but things are bound to get out in the end. Thank you for your comment and continuous support!

Furthermore: Long time no see, I've been so busy with my internship, and I've been quite distracted with some other story ideas which didn't leave me alone until I'd written them at least partially. (I blame Sanditon for everything)

And now I've wound up writing about a story set in spring while it's winter. Sigh, it's weir describing the buzzing of the bees when my ears freeze off every time I step outside.

The next chapter will be up immediately after this one!