The days that follow the talk by the rocks are a stark difference in comparison to what they once were at the beginning of the week. There's not much laughter, a flirty smile is hard to come by, and it's nothing but tension, tension, tension. The shift in the air is felt by everyone in the loft – Santana's temper flares a lot easier and Brittany keeps to herself more often – but there isn't a single person on the team that dares to bring it up.
Everyone just keeps their heads down and continues with their tasks. The Met Gala is just days away and no one really has the time to dwell on what could be going on between Santana and Brittany, minus Santana and Brittany.
\\
Today's task involves testing Mercedes' blind spot so Brittany sits with the hacker and her laptop on the couch while they watch Santana saunter through the Met on the screen. They've got headsets on which allow them to be in contact with Santana, more so Mercedes than Brittany.
Brittany's really just there to watch.
It's probably the closest she's been to actually talking to Santana; like the responsible adults they are, they've been avoiding each other ever since their argument. It's such a drastic change for them both – to go from spending nearly every waking moment together to not even exchanging two words. Now when Brittany wakes there's no sense of giddiness or pride – no spontaneous trips out of the loft for coffee and food. Now when Brittany wakes it's to an empty bed and cold sheets and no Santana in sight.
Santana does the same and that thought should give Brittany some relief because at least she isn't the only one, but it really doesn't. Brittany kind of hates how much she misses their morning routine, even if it was all just avoiding the inevitable.
"You're taking your sweet time," Mercedes notes with a press of a button on her headset. The sound of her voice jolts Brittany from her thoughts and she focuses back on the screen.
"Would you like me to run there?" Santana quips back, "I'm trying to be inconspicuous. Also, you have to say over when you're done talking. Over."
Mercedes rolls her eyes. Brittany only adjusts her own headset, the sound of Santana's voice making her heart flutter in the worst way.
"I'm not doing that," Mercedes grumbles.
"Were you done talking? Over."
"Yes."
"See why it's important? How am I going to know you're finished speaking? Over."
"When I stop talking obviously."
"How do I know you're not just stopping to take a breath? People don't call you Wheezy for nothing. Over."
"What? No one calls me that."
"Not to your face. Over."
"You're ridiculous. OVER."
Mercedes switches off her mic with a huff and looks to Brittany, "Is she always like this? Always trying to pick a fight for no damn reason?"
Brittany can't help but smirk, "Yeah. It's a thing she does."
\\
They continue to watch in silence as Santana makes her way through the exhibit at a glacial pace and Brittany wonders if she's moving extra slow just to annoy the hacker. She wouldn't put it past the brunette, that's totally her style: being a petty little shit…who also looks damn good in that dress.
Brittany shakes her head at how easily those thoughts can slip through the cracks. Right now, any thoughts about her attraction towards Santana are off limits. She doesn't need them clouding up her judgement but watching the woman strut around the Met looking the way she does…it's almost impossible for Brittany to not take a moment and admire her.
"You know," Brittany says mindlessly while her eyes stay trained on Santana, "I'm really mad at her right now but she's still so hot."
Mercedes quirks a brow and sends Brittany a look. She checks that their mics are off before she speaks, "Good to know."
Brittany doesn't seem to notice Mercedes' indifference as she lets out a sigh, "Just look at her. Absolutely stunning, gorgeous even – she's a pain in my ass – but gorgeous. She's a gorgeous pain in my ass."
Mercedes gives the blonde another look before she clicks through cameras to keep Santana on the screen. She glances over at Santana and shrugs, "She's alright."
Brittany looks damn near offended. She picks up her jaw and shakes her head, "I think you've been staring at computer screens for way too long. They've cooked your eyeballs or something because Santana is more than alright."
"Aren't you mad at her?"
Brittany shifts in her seat likes she's been caught in a lie, "Yeah, yeah I am."
"Right," Mercedes doesn't look convinced but she keeps her eyes on the screen as Santana turns down a hall, "Maybe you should stop focusing on how hot she is then? Probably what got you into this mess in the first place…"
Brittany furrows her brows; what mess does Mercedes think they're in? Is their mess that obvious? She's just about to ask when the hacker presses at her mic again to speak.
"Hey, you're coming up to the blind spot," Mercedes tells Santana, "Just at the end of this hall on your right."
"You didn't save over. Over."
"You're coming up to the blind spot. Over."
"Thank you. Over," Santana answers back.
Mercedes switches off her mic and mutters to herself in disbelief, "Why did I agree to this?"
Brittany chews on the corner of her lip in thought before she finally turns to Mercedes with a hopeful look in her eye, "Can I talk to you about something?"
Mercedes looks skeptic, "Is it about her?"
Brittany looks to Mercedes jutting her finger at Santana on the screen. She nods.
"Hell to the no," Mercedes says firmly.
Brittany pouts, "Please? I don't really have anyone to talk to."
Mercedes shakes her head, "I don't want nothing to do with all that drama."
"But –"
"No."
Brittany's shoulders slump with defeat, "Okay."
Mercedes looks a little guilty for being so short and changes her tone, "Look Brittany, I'm just here to do my job and collect my check. Not make friends and gossip about the boss lady."
"Right, that's cool," Brittany tries to be understanding as Santana approaches the end of the hall.
Who would want to willingly hear all this mess? She doesn't really blame Mercedes, but she feels like a bottle rocket about to explode. She doesn't know how much longer she can keep everything inside before it starts to eat away at her.
"You can talk to me?" Tina offers softly.
The jeweler's voice surprises Brittany; she didn't even know she was there to be honest. Tina always works so quietly, she kind of blends into the loft's atmosphere, but she moves from her work station and settles in the arm chair close by.
There's a encouraging smile on her face as she says, "I think I'm a pretty good listener."
Brittany smiles back; Tina isn't really the first person who comes to mind when it comes to venting to someone but she's glad she's there. Anyone's better than no one, especially now.
Mercedes looks a little surprised too, but more so relieved than anything else.
"There you go," The hacker says, "Talk to her."
Brittany chuckles lightly and is just about to speak when the sound of Santana's voice interrupts them.
"Am I close? Over," Santana asks as she nears the restroom doors.
"Move a little to your left. Over," Mercedes tells her. They watch as Santana slowly disappears from the frame until she's completely out of sight, "There it is. You're in the blind spot. Over."
"Nice work," Santana compliments as she takes some measurements, "You even added a little extra room to work with. Thank you. I'll make my way back to the loft. Over and out."
Once the call disconnects, Mercedes starts to close out of her programs and put away her headphones. She glances to Brittany and gestures for hers too.
Brittany hands them over then looks to Tina as she starts off a little nervously, "So there's this girl…"
Tina scoots to the edge of her seat, "Yeah?"
"She drives me crazy," At first Brittany's smile is wide but then it starts to droop, "Mostly in a good way that leads to really awesome lady sex, but she also drives me crazy in a bad way too. The kind of way that makes me say things I never thought I would. Things like, I think this should be our last job together."
"Sounds pretty serious," Tina notes.
"Yeah," Brittany says sadly, "I think it is. I don't know how it got like this. I've never said something like that before, but this girl…I don't know how to get through to her sometimes and I think I just lost my cool. She can be so guarded, so cryptic, even with me and I don't get it. We've been best friends for years, me and this girl."
"I think we all know you're talking about Santana so just use her name," Mercedes grumps.
Tina gives the hacker a smirk, "I thought you didn't care enough to listen?"
Mercedes just shrugs, "You guys are talking around me, it's hard not to listen."
"Uh-huh," Tina chuckles and turns to Brittany, "Being open with someone can be kind of hard sometimes. What happened to make you say something like wanting out?"
"We got into a pretty heated argument over things that happened in the past and things that have happened recently," Brittany explains.
"What kind of things?" Tina presses.
"I can't really say, it's sort of private," Brittany replies, "But just know that we've never had it out like that before. I know we said things that really needed to be said, but I don't know. I feel like we kind of went about it the wrong way. There's was a lot building up and it just exploded all over the place. It's just, Santana's gets so in her head that I can barely talk to her and I…well, I've been hiding a secret of my own too."
At the mention of a secret, Tina and Mercedes perk up. They don't ask about it, but Brittany can tell by the looks on their faces that they really, really want to.
"So you're both kind of at fault here?" Tina asks instead.
Brittany ponders that, "I guess we are, yeah."
"That's tough," Tina frowns, "Fighting with your best friend is just the worst."
"But they're not just best friends," Mercedes says and looks to Brittany with this all-knowing grin, "Right?"
Brittany feels see-through.
"Because best friends aren't really supposed to casually sleep together," Mercedes adds before chuckling to herself, "Unless I've been doing it wrong all this time."
Tina looks to Brittany for an answer, but the blonde doesn't have to say anything. It's written all over her face.
Tina chooses to change the subject though, "Santana really isn't the easiest person to talk to."
"Yeah, that's an understatement," Brittany sighs, "When it comes to her feelings she just shuts down sometimes. I never really know what's going on up there."
"I get why you're frustrated," Tina replies apologetically.
"Do you think I was too hard on her for saying what I said about leaving?" Brittany asks. It's something she's been mulling over ever since and she's really on the fence about it. On one hand, she said what needed to be said but on the other…
She remembers the look on Santana's face just before she walked away from her. She doesn't think she's ever seen Santana look so crushed, but what was she supposed to say? There's only so much she can take, only so many times she can let Santana off easy.
"I don't think you were," Mercedes speaks up first to Brittany's surprise, "You've got to have boundaries or people walk all over you. It sounded like it was time for you to stand up for yourself and that's what you did. Whatever she did really hurt you and you're allowed to be mad about it. Maybe this will knock some sense into her?"
Brittany feels reassured and nods, "Yeah, maybe. I didn't even think, those words just came out on their own."
"Must've been time then," Mercedes shrugs.
Brittany thinks about that, like really thinks about it. They couldn't have continued to dance around each other for much longer, avoiding certain things, it all had to come to a head at some point – whether she's talking about the heist or what's going on between them.
"Do you want this to be your last job together?" Tina questions after a moment.
Brittany frowns as she goes into deep thought. So much of her wants to stand by what she said, but there's a part of her that also wants to try and fix this too. She got wrapped up in the heat of the moment, but – unlike Santana – Brittany doesn't want to run from this.
"I don't think I do," Brittany admits softly, "I don't want to lose her, but I don't know if it's worth the trouble anymore."
It's the first time she's voiced the thought aloud and it makes her heart ache. To think there could be a future for her that doesn't involve Santana makes her feel sad and she doesn't want to be sad, but if Santana keeps this up she really won't have a choice.
Like Mercedes said, she has to stand up for herself too.
"You know Britt, I grew up with Santana," Tina mentions, "We weren't like best friends or anything but I've known her since I was a kid. Our dads did business together."
"Was she a cute kid?" Brittany finds herself wondering. She can picture the girl with scraped knees and an adorable scowl on her face looking about as threatening as a teddy bear. The thought makes her smile, "I bet she was."
"I guess?" Tina chuckles, "Anyway, she never really got too close to anyone. I remember she was popular in high school and she knew a lot of different people, belonged to different circles, but I don't think she trusted any of them enough to be actual friends."
"Oh, that's kind of sad," Brittany softens.
"Yeah. Maybe that just comes from how she was brought up," Tina replies, "Santana's dad, Mr. Lopez, was a no-nonsense kind of guy. Super friendly, but he didn't trust anyone either. I'm sure that's where Santana gets it. It's a hard habit to break when you grow up around con artists. They're a pretty private bunch of people. They only let you in on what they want you to know.
Brittany nods along with her. Santana has always played her cards pretty close to her chest and this insight makes her reasoning for it a little clearer.
"She trusts you though," Tina adds with a smile, "I've seen the way you both look at each other, there's something there. Something worth sticking around for."
"It's obvious," Mercedes agrees, "Definitely something there."
Brittany sinks deeper in the couch and props up her feet on the coffee table with a sigh. Maybe talking it out with someone else wasn't such a good idea because now she feels even more conflicted than before.
"I think so too but she refuses to talk about it," Brittany replies, "She's so adamant that it's nothing, but I know it is. I just have a feeling, I can't really describe it but it's there. Plus, she told me she loved me and then pretended it was some drunken mistake."
Tina and Mercedes look to each other in surprise.
Brittany bites her lip nervously, "I probably shouldn't have told you that."
Mercedes waves her off, "You know the saying: drunken minds speak sober thoughts. Sounds like the girl is scared if she's trying to play it off."
Brittany's frown deepens as she remembers Santana's words about feeling safe around her and it doesn't make any sense.
"It's only me though?" Brittany reasons.
"Yeah, that's the point," Mercedes chuckles.
Brittany cocks her to the side, "I don't understand."
Mercedes softens, "It's probably something you two just need to talk about…feelings and such."
Tina nods, "I agree and maybe it's just my inner hopeless romantic talking, but I don't think you should give up on her just yet. Like Mercedes said, maybe this argument is the push she needed to make some changes?"
A tiny glimmer of hope sparks within Brittany. They could be right, her and Santana's argument could've been the catalyst that they needed to get things on the right track.
"Don't give up on her if deep down you don't really want to," Mercedes says wisely.
"You're just going to hurt each other even more, but it's up to you," Tina continues, "She has to be willing to work with you too and if she isn't, then maybe it really is better that you move on."
Brittany swallows roughly at the thought of moving on if Santana isn't willing to try. The woman is so stubborn and stuck in her ways though, what if she isn't down to change?
Tina notices Brittany getting caught up in her head and changes her tone, "Hopefully she'll do the work. It's just something to think about."
"You're right. Maybe when she comes back we can try to talk about things and it'll be fine again," Brittany replies before sending them both a bright smile, they brightest either of them have seen from the blonde in days, "Thanks guys. This was really nice."
Tina and Mercedes exchange a grin before looking to Brittany, "Don't mention it."
\\
Brittany rides that wave of hope for all of five minutes before she comes crashing down. When Santana enters the loft later, they share a quick glance but her face soon fills with a grimace upon seeing Brittany. The look cuts the blonde deeply and soon her hopeful smile fades away and is replaced with a grimace too.
Santana looks like she can't stand the girl and Brittany…well, Brittany returns the sentiment. A gorgeous pain in her ass, that's exactly what Santana is. That's all Brittany's able to think before Santana's turning away and going straight for her room without a word.
Brittany wants to cry out of frustration, wants to stomp her way up to Santana's room and give her another piece of her mind. She doesn't though, instead she grabs a beer from the fridge and goes to sit outside by the water.
She stays there until the sky turns inky and stars begin to twinkle. She doesn't feel like staring up at them tonight though. Instead, she watches the steady ebb and flow of the waves. When the air gets chillier and she runs out of beer, she heads back inside.
\\
When Brittany enters, she finds that Santana has ventured downstairs and she stands with Tina at her work station admiring the pieces there. There's another fleeting glance between Santana and Brittany, but their attention is stolen by Quinn's abrupt entrance.
"Sorry, I'm late!" She calls out as she pushes a wheeled clothes rack through the common area, "Traffic was awful, but I have everyone's outfits here."
Everyone gravitates towards her as she starts to hand out black dress bags.
Brittany chances a glance at Santana as they circle around Quinn, only to find that she's already staring back. It's different than before, more solemn or remorseful or something, but they quickly avert their gazes as Quinn starts to call out names.
"Sugar, here's yours. Mercedes, this one is for you. Tina and Emma, here you go," Quinn's like a steady machine until she gets to Santana. She gives her a questioning look before reaching for the next hanger, "This is for you, Lopez."
"Thanks," Santana says but the look on her face speaks volumes.
Brittany's sure she wasn't meant to see it.
Quinn shakes her head and turns to Brittany with a brighter smile, much different than the expression she used on Santana. She hands her a bag, "And this one's for you."
"Thanks Q," Brittany replies. She's back to being a woman of few words now that Santana's around.
"I spoke to someone at work today about the nutritional specialist gig and they're completely on board so you're in. There's some chef whites in there for you too," Quinn tells her.
"Sweet," Brittany says flatly before she's turning to head to her room.
She's thinking about what Tina and Mercedes said earlier about Santana needing to try too. From the looks of it, Brittany doesn't think she'll be so lucky. The girl once ran from her, what makes Brittany think she'd ever try to chase her instead.
Brittany's steps quicken as she approaches her bedroom door; she can't let them see her cry.
Quinn catches Santana staring after Brittany with this longing stare and goes to slap her arm. They give each other pointed looks and Quinn's gesturing for Santana to go after Brittany, but Santana just rolls her eyes.
"Leave me alone," Santana bites and heads in the opposite direction.
Quinn watches them both and mutters beneath her breath, "Dumbasses."
\\
The following day is a big one; it's the final day before the Met Gala and things are still rocky between Santana and Brittany. The two try to busy themselves with their own tasks – Santana working on her persona for the Gala with Quinn and Brittany's in the garage…doing yoga?
Santana isn't really sure about that one, she just saw her wander out from her corner of the loft in nothing but yoga pants and a sports bra. She may have stared at Brittany's abs the entire time but that's besides the point. They move around each other now in silence and if they do manage to look each other's way, it's filled with the tension of unfinished business.
Brittany walked away from her that day, she didn't even let Santana try to make amends. But Santana supposes she would be a hypocrite if she were to be upset, Brittany's just giving her a taste of her own medicine…and it tastes like shit.
Quinn notices the staring before Brittany disappears into the garage. She watches how Santana sucks in a breath before focusing hard on the different ID badges on the table.
These are her oldest friends, this is how they deal with their bullshit…they don't and it frustrates the hell out of her. How they can be two of the smartest people she's ever met and act like this, it's exhausting! She wants to talk it out with Santana, but she knows the brunette is nearing the point of no return when it comes to opening up. Either you press to hard and she's snaps or you don't press enough and she gets away with avoiding whatever's going on.
So Quinn takes a different approach than usual.
"It's gotten chilly in here," Quinn starts off lightly.
"You know this place is too damn big to heat," Santana replies, "Go put on one of your many hideous cardigans."
"I'm not talking about the temperature," Quinn says simply.
"Of course you're not," Santana sighs as she picks up a badge to inspect.
Quinn takes a peek at the ID picture and asks, "Thinking of going blonde for this?"
Santana just shrugs before setting the badge down. In that moment, the garage door swings open again and in comes Brittany.
She looks to them apologetically as she heads for the kitchen, "Sorry to interrupt. Forgot a water bottle."
"You're not interrupting," Quinn smiles back but Santana keeps her gaze on the IDs.
"Right," Brittany glances over at the brunette's back being turned on her. She tries to hide her disappointment as she heads back out to the garage.
Once the door is shut, Quinn lets out a huff. Her patience is waning so the whole soft but steady approach is thrown out the window, "When are you going to fix this?"
"Why do I have to fix it?" Santana replies and looks up at Quinn, "Why do you think it's me? Maybe it's her this time?"
Quinn lifts a brow, "Is it?"
Santana tenses her jaw before relenting, "I don't know what she wants from me."
"For starters, maybe an apology?" Quinn suggests.
Santana shakes her head, "No. Dani sent me to jail. As if I wouldn't come back with a vengeance? I'm not apologizing for it. No way."
Quinn gives Santana a tired look, "Is that really why you think she's mad?"
Santana softens, "Have you spoken to her?"
"No, but I can only imagine," Quinn shrugs, "You two are incredibly predictable."
Santana doesn't know whether to take that as a compliment or slap her. I guess she's sort of right though, of all people Quinn would know.
"You didn't tell her about Dani and look what happened," Quinn reasons, "Not to say I told you so but…well, I did. There were so many times you could've brought it up but you did what you always do. You got wrapped up in her – quite literally – until it was too late and she had to find out for herself. Now she's pissed because you – someone who is meant to be her best friend and partner – didn't let her in on a very important piece to all of this. She finally put her foot down and not only are you surprised that she had the balls to actually do it but you're also scared shitless of what happens now. Am I close?"
Santana just stares at her with a slack jaw.
Quinn smirks, "Yeah. I thought so. Like I said, incredibly predictable."
Santana lets her have that one before saying, "I really screwed up this time. Brittany didn't just put her foot down, she's threatening to leave."
Quinn's cock smirk drops completely, "Wait really? We're so close to the end, the Gala is literally tomorrow –"
"She'll finish the job," Santana interrupts, "But this is it. No more after this, she doesn't want to work together."
"Jesus Santana," Quinn frowns, "What did you do?"
Santana isn't quite sure how to answer that one so she choses to be vague, "It's what I didn't do. It's not just about Dani, there are other things too."
"Like?"
Santana gives her a look and it's all Quinn needs in order to catch on.
"Oh. Right."
"Yeah," Santana says sadly, "So I could apologize, but what if it's not enough? What if I've done too much this time? This is serious, I've never seen her so pissed."
"You think?" Quinn remarks, "I've never seen either of you like this. If you're as close as you say you are, maybe you should've just said something in the first place?"
"Look, I didn't mean for this to get so out of hand," Santana defends but she isn't quite sure if she's talking about Dani or whatever's going on between her and Brittany, "This wasn't supposed to happen like this."
"Well, it did," Quinn says simply, "Whether it's about Dani or…not about Dani, you can't be partners in crime if you're keeping secrets from each other."
"Yeah apparently," Santana shrugs before focusing back on the IDs on the table, "Maybe we don't work as well together as we thought?"
Quinn lets out a laugh and the sudden sound causes Santana to flinch.
"Yeah, that's bullshit," Quinn replies, "You two are so in sync, you basically finish each other's sentences. It's so weird but also kind of cute. You're like polar opposites – Brittany with her optimism and bright smiles and then there's you with your attitude – and there's no way in hell that you two should work together, but you do and that's a beautiful thing."
Santana finds a small smile creeping onto her lips.
"Those kind of people don't come around very often. Sometimes they don't come at all," Quinn points out, "Now it sounds like you're close to losing your person, what are you going to do about it? You just going to let her walk out of here? Give up on her without a fight?"
Santana shakes her head.
"Good," Quinn smiles.
"You think I still have a chance?" Santana asks, "You've seen how it's been between us lately. She wants nothing to do with me."
"Maybe that's because you've had your infamous bitch-face on all this time?" Quinn teases before getting serious again, "It's Brittany and for her, you at least have to try. Nothing's going to hurt worse than wishing you would've said all the things that you didn't."
Quinn's words hit her like a ton of bricks. She knows that feeling all too well and would much rather not like to add onto its weight, but there's this looming fear hanging over her that makes things ten times harder than they need to be.
Quinn notes Santana's hesitance, "I don't think you have much to worry about. You just have to acknowledge your shit and deal which is a lot easier than it sounds, I know. But you two, you owe to each other to try one more time."
Santana nods, a new sense of hope washes over her. She can do this. She can walk up to Brittany and just tell her, she can put it all on the line and if Brittany wants to stick around then great. If she doesn't, well…Santana will learn to live with that too.
"You're right," Santana admits. She doesn't miss the swell of pride that fills Quinn's face and she rolls her eyes at the sight of it, "That's the one time I'm saying it, so soak it in."
"Oh, I know and I am," Quinn jokes and slings her arm around Santana to hug her to her side, "I'm really rooting for you both, you know?"
Santana lets herself ease against Quinn's side, "Yeah. I know."
"What you two have found in each other," Quinn says, "My husband and I aren't even like that and we've been married for years."
Santana smirks, "Well you married a man so I'm not really surprised."
Quinn playfully pushes Santana off of her while the brunette just laughs away at her own joke. Honestly, Quinn's happy to see her looking anything but like a kicked puppy so she'll take the jab.
"You should talk to her," Quinn says once Santana quiets down.
"I will."
"Yeah, I've heard that before," Quinn teases but Santana doesn't laugh, "Too soon?"
"Very."
"Well, I don't care," Quinn shrugs, "Go talk to her. Actually, you need to talk to her and fix this. The Gala is tomorrow and we can't do this if there's still drama going on."
Santana knows she's right but she isn't prepared, not yet. Instead she gestures at the IDs on the table, "I haven't picked an alias – "
Quinn snatches up a badge, "This one. Now go."
"I don't know what to say," Santana replies while Quinn nudges her towards the garage.
"Just say what's on your mind, genius. It's really not rocket science," Quinn encourages.
Santana gets halfway to the door when Quinn backs off. She looks back at the blonde as the nerves begin to swell in the pit of her stomach.
Quinn just gives her an encouraging nod, "Woman up, Lopez. You can do it."
Santana mimics the nod and turns back towards the door. She thinks about Quinn's words from earlier – It's Brittany, and for her you at least have to try – and it's all the encouragement she needs before she's facing her fears head on.
\\
Brittany's in the middle of a stretch when Santana closes the door behind her. The sound of it shutting has Brittany looking to her direction and shuffling up to stand. Her face is a little flushed and there's sweat glistening and it's all momentarily distracting for Santana, but the brunette manages to focus up and takes a shaky step closer.
"Hey," Santana greets. She sounds so small as she fiddles with her hands in front of her, "Can we talk?"
Brittany looks unsure as she reaches for her water bottle, "But we never do that."
Her words sting a little, but Santana takes it in stride, "Yeah I know but…"
"But?" Brittany waits for her to continue but she never does.
Santana chances a glance up but she knows it's a mistake the instant her eyes land on Brittany's abs instead. They're look a lot more defined than usual or maybe it's because she hasn't seen them in awhile? Who knows, but the clouds are quickly rolling in and she's beginning to get distracted but Santana manages to meet Brittany's gaze.
"Can you just like…," Santana mumbles, "Put a shirt on or something?"
Brittany quirks a brow and it almost looks like she's going to smile or laugh, but she quickly hides it away as she turns her back and reaches for a pair of overalls she had slung over her motorbike. She steps into the leg holes and pulls it on over her clothes.
Once the buttons are fastened, she turns around with an expectant look on her face, "Better?"
Santana blushes, "Yeah."
Brittany just shakes her head, "As you were saying?"
"Right," Santana swallows hard, "I wanted to talk to you about things. Things that you – we – said the other day by the rocks."
"Don't worry, I'll see this job through," Brittany tells her like she already knows what Santana is going to say. Santana isn't used to the sarcasm she hears but stays quiet as Brittany continues, "I won't leave you hanging. I'm not that kind of person."
Santana can already tell Brittany isn't going to make this easy for her, but she doesn't blame her. She put Brittany through hell, it's only natural for Brittany to want to reverse the roles.
"I'm not talking about that," Santana explains. She pauses as her thoughts begin to jumble, "Well, I am but that's not what I was going to say. Okay, maybe it's sort of about that – "
"Just spit it out."
Santana quits rambling and does what Quinn advised, she says what's on her mind.
"You know I can't do this without you right?" Santana asks, "I'm not just talking about this job. I'm talking about any job, I'm talking about all jobs. I can't do this without you."
"Sure you can," Brittany shrugs and goes to lean on her motorbike, "There are hundreds of con artists out there just like me. I'm sure it won't be hard for you to find a replacement."
Santana shakes her head, "No Britt, you don't get it. I don't want to do this with anyone else."
That seems to surprise Brittany, "You don't?"
"Of course not," Santana assures her with a small smile, "I told you before, there's no one like you. I meant that. You and I, we're such a force when we work together…all those crazy schemes we've done over the years. I can't do that with just anyone."
Brittany stiffens. Does Santana only see her as someone she can use to further her career? It seems like it's always about work with her.
"Is this your way of apologizing?" Brittany frowns.
Santana mirrors it but out of confusion, "Kind of, yeah?"
Brittany laughs bitterly, "You've got such a one track mind when it comes to a job. Out of everything we talked about on the rocks, this is what you open with? You want to make sure I stick around just so we can work together?"
"No, that isn't it!" Santana quickly tries to amend, "That's not what I meant."
"All you think about is work," Brittany complains, "You know that's not all there is to life, right?"
"I know that," Santana replies then begins to pace, "Fuck, this is why I never do this. I'm not good at this type of thing."
Brittany watches her curiously, she looks like a caged lion about ready to bust free of her confines.
"What? Talking?" Brittany asks.
Santana stops and looks up at Brittany soberly, "This isn't just a normal talk."
Brittany tilts her head to the side at that. She thought she knew what Santana came here to say, but now she isn't so sure. She's more confused than she started but manages to say, "Well, just because you've never been good at it doesn't mean you can't learn."
Santana takes a steadying breath and her words come out with less bite to them, "Why do you think I came out here?"
Brittany eases at the sound of her tone.
"I'm trying," Santana adds.
It feels like Brittany's heart has fallen to the pit of her stomach while butterflies also flutter around it. She's both ecstatic that Santana's willing to try and a little afraid of what trying looks to the brunette. Nevertheless, Brittany is eager to find out.
"I'm sorry," Brittany finds herself apologizing, "I didn't mean to give you a hard time."
Santana smiles in thank and goes to continue, "So out by the rocks…I think we both hurt each other in ways we didn't intend to, especially me. I didn't let you in on what I had going on with Dani's involvement and you – you walked away."
"Santana don't – "
"I won't," Santana interrupts. Brittany softens under Santana's gaze, "I won't. I get why you were upset and why you said what you did. I won't hold it against you. I get it."
Brittany's taken aback by this newfound honesty. She nods for Santana to continue, interested to see what else she has to say.
"I hurt you by leaving you out and I apologize. I apologize for not telling you about Dani," Santana says shakily, "It was stupid and you're right, I did let my need for revenge distract me from what was important. I wasn't being a very good partner. I shouldn't have left you out like I did and I'm sorry."
Brittany's shocked. She can't remember a time Santana has ever acknowledged a mistake and apologized for it. She's usually one to have a silent conversation about it and move on without bringing it up ever again. This approach though? It's brand new to Brittany. It makes her think about what Mercedes and Tina said earlier about growth and people changing, she wonders if that's what's going on with Santana right now.
Whatever it is, Brittany's thankful for it but she still has so many questions.
"Why didn't you tell me about Dani in the first place?" Brittany asks. It's not argumentative but rather out of genuine curiosity, "Is it because of the jealousy thing? I'm usually joking - maybe like half of the time I'm joking. I didn't think it bothered you all that much, at least not to the point of you leaving me out? Or was it something else? Did you think I wouldn't approve?"
"Honestly, it wasn't any of that," Santana tells her, "I guess I didn't want to disappoint you? I knew you wouldn't like me getting wrapped up in revenge, but I had to do this for me. I had to get even and I know it's petty and I know I'm a little ridiculous for doing all of this just to get some payback but that's just who I am, Britt. I'm a petty bitch and she did me so damn dirty. I just couldn't let it go."
Brittany relaxes, "You might be petty, but you aren't a bitch."
Santana smiles but it doesn't quite make her cheeks bunch. Even when they aren't on the best of terms, Brittany still manages to have her back.
"If anyone's a bitch, it's her for what she did to you," Brittany adds before shrugging, "I just wish you would've at least tried to talk to me. Help me understand why you wanted to do all of this. It's not hard to get now that you've explained, but it would've been nice to talk about things that have hurt you. You don't always have to be so tough around me."
"I know," Santana sighs, "I just figured you wouldn't understand or you'd try to talk me out of it or something so I hid it from you. Obviously, that was the wrong move but…I don't like admitting that she hurt me. I hate giving her that power, it sucks."
Brittany can sympathize with Santana on that one, "It does."
"And I really hate fighting with you," Santana admits, "I don't want this to be our last job together. My life of crime wouldn't be as fun without you in it. I'm sorry for everything and it won't happen again. I can be better, Britt."
Brittany finds herself smiling proudly, "Now that's an apology." Then she's pulling Santana in for a warm hug. The instant their bodies collide, it feels like coming home after a long, tiring day.
She loves this feeling so much.
And Santana does too, more than anything. She loves wrapping up in Brittany, it's the place where she feels the safest and she's so relieved that she has it back.
"You'll stay?" Santana mumbles against Brittany's shoulder.
Brittany nods and tightens her hold, "Yeah, I'll stay."
They stay like that for a moment, pressed against one another reveling in their first success of the night, when Santana pulls away with another statement, "I want to talk about something else too."
Brittany's looking curious again as Santana puts a little distance between them, "Yeah?"
Santana's back to being a meek little mouse and says, "You know how you said you wanted me to be honest for once the other day?"
It takes Brittany a moment, but she remembers, "Yeah?"
Santana takes a deep breath in, letting it fill her lungs, before she slowly exhales. Her nerves are rattling her shaky hands and she winds them together to keep them still, "Well…Truth is, I was scared that night. That's why I ran."
The realization that Mercedes was right hits Brittany first, but she keeps the surprise hidden and tries to be as encouraging as possible, "What were you scared of?"
"I don't know," Santana shrugs although it's a lie. She shakes her head at how easy it was for her to tell it. She's meant to be being honest now so she amends her previous answer, "I guess I was scared of you not having feelings for me too."
Brittany's heart breaks a little. Too? She said. Santana wanted her to having feelings for her too…meaning she has feelings for her now. Or is it then? Brittany's not sure.
Santana continues, "Maybe I was scared of you not loving me back?"
"Santana…" Brittany breathes out. This is bigger than she imagined. Santana doesn't – didn't? – just have feelings for her, she loved her too. Brittany's at a loss, it's a lot to comprehend but there's this wave of relief.
None of this was one-sided, she wasn't imagining anything. Their feelings we real – are real.
"You know, I've never had a good track record when it comes to my love life," Santana goes on, "I don't date and if I do it doesn't last very long or…I end up in jail."
Brittany gasps, "Not funny."
Santana smirks, "It's a little funny, you've got to admit it."
Brittany just shakes her head and chuckles. She already feels a little lighter, she wonders if Santana is starting to feel the same too.
"I didn't want to fuck up the good thing we had going, you know?" Santana's back to being serious, "You're like the one person I trust in this whole world, I couldn't give that up. I figured that's exactly what would happen if I said anything. I didn't want to blur our arrangement with feelings, but I guess it just kind of happened anyway."
"Our arrangement?" Brittany rolls the word around in her mouth like it's new to her.
"Poor choice of words, but you know what I mean," Santana replies, "You weren't just my partner in crime, you were my best friend too. You are my best friend."
"You're my best friend too," Brittany smiles. For some reason her eyes feel dry and it's like tear are threatening to fall. She blinks them away furiously as to not ruin the moment.
"I exposed myself that night and I got spooked so I ran," Santana says apologetically, "I couldn't throw love into the mix, there's no way I'd be lucky enough to find someone who could be all three."
Brittany mirrors Santana's watery frown, "Well, I wish you would've just stuck around long enough to find out for certain."
"Please," Santana chuckles, "That's not something I need to stick around for to figure out. I know I'm not that lucky."
Brittany laughs too as she takes a step up and closes the distance, "See, and that's where you're wrong."
Santana furrows her brows and looks up, "What do you mean?"
The cute confused look on her face has Brittany smiling for a moment before she speaks, "Like I said before, you're so smart Santana. You can come up with these grandmaster plans and think your way through anything but you can't see what's always been right in front of you."
Realization hits her and it makes Santana's knees wobble. She blinks and her heart rate picks up, "Do you – "
"Santana," Brittany starts off and that gleaming smile is back ten fold. She sets her hands on Santana's hips like it's the only thing keeping her grounded, "I was so in love with you then and I'm still in love with you now."
Santana's jaw drops, "What?"
"I'm in love with you," Brittany admits simply, "Then and now."
Santana blinks slowly, "Why – Why didn't you tell me?"
"Same reason you didn't tell me," Brittany answers, "I was afraid of the consequences if I did speak up. I didn't want to ruin our friendship if you didn't have feelings for me. I didn't want to make things awkward between us because you're my best friend too and I don't think I could handle losing both my best friend and the girl I love."
"I can't believe this," Santana breathes out then laughs, "After all this time?"
"Yeah," Brittany replies. She feels a little heavier as she recounts that day, "When you left that night, I knew I was right to be afraid. I knew that you didn't really date but I thought maybe you'd make an exception for me? You ran off so fast though. I couldn't lose you completely so I didn't pressure you into talking about it. If you wanted to pretend like it never happened, fine. If I had to love you at a distance, I guess I could do that too."
Santana's heart shatters. It's then that she realizes that Brittany's way too good for her. She's completely in a league of her own and it's an absolute fluke that Santana's lucky enough to be loved by someone like her.
And to think she never considered herself lucky. Man, was she wrong!
But still, to hear what Brittany put herself through in order to save their friendship makes Santana's chest ache. It makes her regret being such a dumbass about her feelings for her. It makes her wish she would've owned up to them all those years ago.
"So I brushed it off and stuck around…as your friend. But when you started dating Dani, I just…I didn't get it. I felt like I was being replaced," Brittany admits.
"No Britt, I could never," Santana assures her, "There's not a single person out there that could take your place."
Brittany smiles bashfully, "Yeah, I guess I sort of figured. You stuck around too so I thought that might've meant something."
"I just couldn't stay away," Santana jokes.
Brittany laughs, it's good to see her like this again. She rests back against her motorbike and pulls Santana in so that she's standing between her legs now. Brittany slides her arms around Santana, she just fits in the space so perfectly.
"I had no idea you felt the same way," Santana tells her. She begins to rub her hands up and down Brittany's arms soothingly and they both ease into the feel, "I'm so sorry, Britt."
"Yeah. Me too."
The apology catches Santana off guard, "Wait. Why are you sorry?"
"Because I never told you?" Brittany replies bashfully, "I never told you and I should've. I should've told you so many times by now."
Santana smiles, "You don't have to apologize for that. You know how many times I wanted to say something but never did? Too many, so you don't have to apologize for that."
Brittany just shrugs, "I guess I wasn't exactly clear on how I felt either so we're both kind of to blame."
"Well to be clear now," Santana starts as she draws near, "You know, just so there's no confusion from here on out. I'm in love with you too, Britt."
Brittany doesn't even respond, just pulls her in for a kiss instead. It seemed like the right thing to do in that moment. No words, no lengthy confessions about love. Just a kiss, that's all they need. It's soft and sweet this time, and much needed after the days they've had without one another.
It's like she put this thing out into the universe and just hoped that the universe would come through for her. And it did, it really did.
"We've wasted so much time," Santana sighs once they pull away, "We could've bypassed all the heartache."
"That's okay," Brittany smiles as she smooths her hand over Santana's hair, "No use in dwelling on all the what-ifs. We can make up for it now. No more hiding. No more cons behind each other's backs. We talk more, like this, about how we feel."
It honestly sounds terrifying to Santana, but she agrees: For Brittany, she has to at least try. Thanks to Quinn, that's Santana's new mantra for whenever she feels herself begging to retreat. She won't do it this time, or any time. She's here to stay.
"I can do that," Santana says confidently.
"I know you can," Brittany winks as moves to stand from the motorbike. She still keeps a hand on Santana's waist while she gives her a hopeful grin, "Now, I have a pretty important question for you."
Santana visibly gulps, "Okay?"
"You want to go for a ride?"
Santana lets out a laugh as she slips from Brittany's hold, "That's the first thing you want to do after a talk like that?"
"It's not the first thing that comes to mind," Brittany smirks, "But I figured the make-up sex could come after I finish up my work."
"Your work? What could you possibly have left to do?" Santana questions through her smile.
Brittany tugs a little on Santana, "Come with me and find out."
Santana lifts a brow at the flirty tone. She really can't tell whether or not Brittany's being serious about the work or she's just using it as an excuse to entice Santana.
Santana looks down skeptically at Brittany's sports bra/overalls combo, "You're going to go out dressed like that?"
Brittany pouts, "What's wrong with how I'm dressed?"
Santana steals a quick kiss, "Nothing. I'm just used to seeing you in a blazer and designer trousers or something ridiculously expensive."
"It's only a quick run. I just have to pick up that toy submarine thing for tomorrow," Brittany shrugs and tries to pull Santana in again, "Come on, go with me? You know I've got a helmet just for you. I picked it out myself: fire-engine red. I know that's your color."
"Ooh, tempting."
"Really?"
"No," Santana giggles.
"Damn," Brittany chastises through her smile and releases Santana, "I really thought I had a breakthrough there."
"Maybe one day," Santana teases then leans in to kiss her cheek, "But it's not today."
"Don't worry. I can wait," Brittany chuckles, "You're bound to change your mind at some point."
A/N - Another dialogue heavy chapter but it kind of needed to happen. It's like the lull right before everything kicks off, tying up the loose ends in a way. I don't know, it wasn't my fav chapter so far but I'm pretty critical of myself so whatevz. Anyway, next up is all about the heist! Pray for me LOL there's gonna be a lot of working parts to get through. Thanks for the luv!