How do you do it, Ryan?

How can you fake all of this? Were you always faking it? Was "this Ryan" partly genuine?

Angela's thoughts which haunted her like a bad dream eversince she figured out Ryan. It wasn't easy for her to muster the strength to ask it directly from Ryan but there were other problems, too : Number 1, Ryan being busy. Number 2, big house, lotta people, low privacy. These were one of the few things that inhibited Angela's attempts. Plus, whenever Angela tried to converse, there was something, someone that interrupted. Every. Simgle. Time.

Besides you can't ask someone "Hey, are you in pain?"

Aggravated but not hopeless, the ravenhaired princess waited patiently for her moment. And it seemed the heavens had heard her calling.

Ryan had taken the day off. Apparently, even he gets tired from the meetings, and from reporting each and everything to his grumpy father. He had the right to it, yes but wasn't it because he missed Angela?

"I don't wanna go today. It's boring and tiring as hell. Plus, I don't want you to feel lonely." Ryan smriked at his own remark.

"Yeah, right. Don't use me to save yourself from your Dad's scolding." Angela replied by almost throwing her book at Ryan's head.

"Come on! Hook a lover, please." Ryan pouted but had his lips instantly pressed by Angela's fingers.

Mmmmm!

Ryan moaned in anger as he was unable to scream.

Angela smiled sarcastically at Ryan before letting go. Ryan groaned and held his lips with tears in his eyes.

"Oww, what the hell?! That hurt, you know that?"

Angela closed her book, smirked and gestured a slap.

"How many times have I told you not to make that face? It's annoying!"

Seems Angela was truly irritated by that face and It made Ryan startle before laughing in silence, eventually.

Angela heard his laughter. That laughter was genuine. Not done forcefully. It made her...smile. That face then he made as he hid his embarrassment was cute, so cute. It almost felt like Ryan was...

Then it occured to Angela. Ryan was home. Noone was home. They were alone. Now she can properly converse with Ryan.

Angela stood up, walked passed Ryan and locked the door. Turning around, she saw Ryan who was confused. With an even more confused tone he asked 'Why?' but Angela didn't answer. Instead, she sat beside Ryan and spoke.

"Ryan, I want you to be honest with me. Before I start, do you promise to be honest?"

Ryan looked at her eyes before he smiled and said

"Hey, hey, I didn't cheat on you if that's what you're thinking."

Angela shook her head.

"No, Ryan. It's not about that. Just tell me, will you be honest with me?"

Ryan then saw seriousness in Angela's eyes. She was acting strange in his perspective, though he didn't know why.

"Where is this coming from? I mean, what is this all about?"

Angela sighed. Took a deep breath and looked back at Ryan.

"I want you to know that I love you with all my heart, Ryan. And I also want you to know that I've been honest eversince I met you and I know you have been, too. But, there is something I want to know so that is why I want you to be completely honest with me because I know you're hiding something."

Ryan didn't know what to say to Angela. His tone didn't reveal anything as he replied in his normal voice.

"Alright. I understand."

That gave Angela encouragement to speak even more freely.

"It's okay, Ryan."

Huh?

That was vague. What'd she mean by 'its okay'?

"It's okay? I don't get it."

Angela maintained eye contact.

"It's okay, Ryan."

Again with that. What does she mean?

"I don't--"

"It's okay to cry, Ryan."

Ryan stopped for a second, unsure of what he heard. His mouth was slightly open and face holding confusion.

"Why...Why would I cry?"

Ryan said slowly, hoping to get an right answer from Angela.

Rinnnggggg

Ryan's phone rang...at this moment... His whole body diverted and was about to stand up until it felt something weigh it down. A soft yet powerful pull. It was Angela. She stopped Ryan and wrapped her arms around his neck as soon as he landed.

"Angela...? What's going on with you? You're acting strange. Can we talk later, I have to pick this call ..."

Ryan said turning his head slightly to the left to face her but couldn't quite see it fully. All he could feel was Angela's arms around his neck and face resting on his neck.

"It's okay, Ryan. It's okay to cry. You don't have to hide it anymore."

Ryan felt his heart skip a beat. Was he getting what Angela was talking about? Regardless, Ryan didn't quite understand her.

"Why should I cry? I mean, for what?"

Hic, Hic

Voices of sobbing rang Ryan's ear. It was faint yet so clear. Along with the voice, he could feel wetness at the back of his neck.

Angela... She was sobbing.

The ground vanished from Ryan's feet. He felt like he was about to fall. Hearing Angela's cry was making him scared and nervous. Before he could turn around and see her, Angela tightened her grip and placed her right hand on his heart.

"Angela! Are you alright? Babe, what's going on?!"

Sniff Sniff

"It's you, Ryan. It's you..." Angela whispered between her sobs.

Ryan felt the same confusion.

"What are you talking about, Angela?"

Angela sniffed again.

"You're hurt..."

Silence. Utter silence. Bodies frozen in awe. No sound, except the sound of Angela's slow breathing.

Ryan felt another skipped heart beat.

"You're hurt, Ryan. You always were, you always have been. You never showed it because you were too busy convincing yourself that its all in the past. You've been lying to yourself, Ryan. Deep down, you want to scream your heart out but your stopping yourself...don't, because I'm here for you."

With each word, Ryan felt weak. Her words were heavy. Hard to bear but truthful nonetheless.

Ryan's voice was lighter and much weaker.

"Why...do you think I'm...hurt?"

Angela was still sobbing. But at this moment, she stopped her sob so that she would whisper it to Ryan.

"Mary..."

Ryan's heart was beating fast now. Faster than ever. His whole body was trembling. Angela felt every quake of it.

"Angela..."

"Stop it, Ryan. You are dying from inside...and the worst part is, you're hiding it. I can feel it. I can sense it when I'm with you."

Ryan didn't answer. He remained frozen in his position.

"You wanted it to be Mary. You wanted to have it with Mary..." Angela spoke again during her sobs.

Ryan felt those words. They were...true. Undeniable truth. He sensed that she was right but what was she truly talking about?

"The truth is you were hurt...devastated...destroyed...when...you saw her sleeping with that guy. You felt only pain for days and weeks until you finally decided to kill yourself."

'What?!...Angela...how...what?...'

Ryan was flabbergasted. His mouth was open and his eyes were about to implode in shock. His mind wasn't thinking straight, it was jumbled up now.

"No, Angela--"

"That cut on your wrist, Ryan..."

Ryan now looked at his wrist. There it was. A small scar... Instantly, Ryan remembered that day, that moment, the reason. His heart felt heavy like it had stopped pumping blood, cold fingers and a large lump stuck to his throat.

"You couldn't bear it. The betrayal was too painful, because...hic...she never even let you touch her finger and yet you saw her sleeping with another guy. You wanted to make love with her, Ryan. I know that because you truly loved her and you wanted her to be your first... That is why you acted that way that day...you were thinking about Mary. You loved Mary. She was your everything. Even after that day, you couldn't stop thinking about her. You couldn't stop... And...she didn't even message you after that day...that's what hurt you even more..." Angela stopped and tightened her grip

"You were an innocent guy who wanted to feel love...but all you received was pain. And the worst part is...you've been hiding it for so long, making us believe that you are alright now."

Ryan grabbed Angela's arm softly, it seemed he didn't have much energy.

"You've been laughing and joking with everyone you meet because you were too busy believing that you're over her, that you're not in pain anymore. But you've been hiding it, I know it, Ryan. You never got over her. Laughing was the only thing you could do to forget but that never worked...but...you don't have to pretend anymore..."

Angela moved forward to whisper

"Let it out, Ryan. Let...it...out..."

Aghhhhhhhgggghhhh

With the final remark from his beloved. Ryan let out a huge scream. He was crying...loudly. Tears were flowing down his cheek, eyes shut tightly and his head rested on Angela's chest. His hands were around her neck, embracing her like a child does when he is scared. Ryan's cries were showing the true extend of his sorrow, of his anguish, of his helplessness.

Angela after a few minutes shushed Ryan and kept on consoling him, reassuring him that she was here and she would always be here with him. The cries slowed and eventually stopped at a point.

Ryan looked up, tears were still flowing down his face. His face, it was so innocent that Angela felt tremendous amount of pity. That face showed how much Ryan was hurt and how much he suffered at such a young age. That expression asked 'Please, help me.'

Angela wipped Ryan's tears. She cupped his cheeks and said "You won't ever feel that again, Ryan. You don't have to feel alone anymore. Never hide your wounds from me because I will always watch over you...and...I PROMISE TO LOVE YOU, FOREVER!"

Ryan maintained eye contact with Angela. He felt strange, like a force that was pushing him forward. His heart felt light and warm with satisfaction.

Ryan lunged forward and claimed Angela's lips, to which Angela kissed back.

The kiss was brief but genuine. Slowly, Ryan lifted his entire body and moved forward to lie above the girls body, whilst kissing her all the way down. The kisses were gentle, making the girl and the boy enjoy each touch.

The kisses lasted for a while. Ryan slowly proceded to the right, now munching on Angela's soft cheek.

"Aghh..."

Angela moaned the whole time, unconsciously. She was really enjoying it.

Her hands were busy brushing Ryan's hair, encouraging the wild guy to do anything he desires.

Ryan proceeded on trailing kisses to her chin and then to her neck. The kisses lost its wildness but was now replaced with a romantic vibe. He even occasionally sniffed her neck making her gasp then slightly giggle in the process.

And it died down. Ryan stopped at a point and rested his face on the girls neck. Angela thought Ryan was about to get up but then she heard his breath slowly fade away.

He fell asleep.

Realising that her lover had fallen asleep, she giggled. She found it, adorable.

Angela did it. She finally did it. Now, there are no secrets between them. There is nothing left to hide. Things were about to get even more wild, now that Ryan was doing alright.

The proud girl looked at the ceiling and thought

'I'm probably the most luckiest girl in the world. And I have you to thank, God. Ryan has suffered for way too long and I swear on my life I will keep him the most happiest man on earth...Thank you, Lord. Thank you, My Lord...'

Softness

The first thought Ryan had as he opened his eyes. He felt as if his head was resting on marshmallows because it was plumpy and soft. From his eyes, he could see that he was in his own room but what was this feeling of recognition. He felt like he knew who it was that was doing it. That was brusing his hair, continuously.

Ryan slowly lifted his upper body to sit up. Facing to the left, he saw Angela, smiling warmly at him. He had a feeling it was her because she's the only one who had such a gentle touch.

"Noon, sleepy head." Angela said.

Ryan scratched his head and suddenly remembered what happened. What happened not so while ago.

"You've...been here? The whole time?"

Angela nodded.

'Wait, she was here the whole time I was out?'

"Sorry, I guess I slept good. How long? A few minutes, maybe?"

"An hour and 47 minutes..."

Ryan looked at Angela.

'I was sleeping on her lap for 2 hours?! And she remained in that position for that long?'

"You...you were in that...position for that long?"

Angela giggled and nodded again.

Ryan blushed. He was also flabbergasted. That hit different. Hearing Angela confirm that she sat in that shape for so long for Ryan and to hear her giggle...it hit VERY different.

Why was that? Didn't he hear her giggle before?

"Angela..."

Hmm?

"I am sorry."

Angela looked at Ryan in disbelief but Ryan continued.

"I am sorry for lying. I am...sorry for faking myself. I, ugh, I--im..." Ryan stuttered.

Angela kept on looking at him, encouraging him to speak fully.

Ryan noticed her expression.

Taking a deep breath, Ryan tried again.

"You are right. Mary, was in my mind after our break up as well. Even more when I met her on our first date. I was hurt, broken beyond repair. I tried and tried but nothing worked. I tried to hate her but I couldn't...I was way too naive. But...I thought if I...laugh alot, maybe it will go away but it didn't. I made everyone laugh but not myself."

Angela kept on listening and nodding as she understood what Ryan was trying to say.

"I hid my nature. I hid my sorrow, Im sorry for that. And...that...day...when we..."

Ryan started to blush. He couldn't complete his sentence.

"Yeah?" A quick response by Angela who was flustered herself.

"It was one of the best moment of my life, I swear. I felt nothing but happiness at that moment. It was special for me and unforgettable. I wanted to tell you, confess to you...but I was too ashamed...too coward to admit it. That's why I ran away from you...I'm sorry."

Angela looked at Ryan with a slightly more loving expression. Her lip was curving into a smile as she was hearing his apology.

Ryan lunged forward and grabbed Angela's hand.

"It's different now. I swear, I'm telling you the truth. I Love you."

Angela smiled fully.

"I love you, Angela Doss and I swear to always love you."

Angela embraced his hand.

"Then promise me one more thing : Never hide your wounds from me, because I'm always watching you."

Ryan was caught off guard by that sentence but he nodded and said

"I promise."

Cup

Suddenly, Angela jumped at Ryan, kissing him fully.

Oh!

Ryan let out a groan.

The kiss broke.

The couple stared at each other for a few moments until Ryan realised something.

"Hey! Wasn't I sleeping on you? Like on your body?. How'd I end up on your lap? Did you...lift me?! Yourself??"

Angela giggled and raised her brows.

"But-but how?!"

Angela leaned forward and whispered near his ear.

"I'm not that weak, you know."

Ryan looked at her with widened eyes. He wasn't believing what she was saying. Did she really lift his entire muscular body?

"Angela, sweetie. Colleen is gonna be here in a few minutes..." Came Brenda's voice from the distance.

Angela faced that direction and then back at Ryan.

"Will that be all, Sir Ryan? May I head downstairs to help, ye'Mum?" Angela faked an English accent to mock Ryan.

Ryan laughed and nodded.

Angela winked at Ryan and sat up to head downstairs. As she did, it felt different. Seeing Angela walk toward the door and smile to Ryan before opening the door, it was different.

Ryan felt blood rush to his cheeks. Why was he blushing?

'This girl...she...knew?! Did she knew all along? Damn, she really is something else.'

Ryan felt the warmness on his cheek as well as his heart race. It was weird but not strange. Simple, too.

"Ryan boy, you are in love with her once again."