Five times Robin had to hear the famous 'Because I'm Batman' phrase and the one time he turned the tables.
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Batfam + Wally West
Humour
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The first night Robin had to hear the famous words were shortly after he'd started as Robin.
Like so many other nights, Batman and a ten-year-old Dick Grayson were patrolling Gotham, keeping its citizens safe- or as safe as they can be in a city like Gotham. But that's beside the point. The focus of this story lays on a fight, taking place in a dark alley, not different from all the other dark alleys in this crime-ridden city. But there was on special thing about this alley. The yells and shouts of fighting and a young child's cackling could be heard occasionally.
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Batman ducked under a flying fist, swinging his hand upwards and hit the thug square in the jaw. The man went down, but two others took his place. With a yell, they rushed at the Dark Knight, trying to punch him simultaneously, but he dropped to the floor, swinging his legs around and kicking the first thug's feet out from under him. Then, he shot up and his fist crashed into thug #2's face. The vigilante felt the man's nose shatter beneath his knuckles and heard the grinding of bone against bone. The guy fell with a strangled scream.
He stole a glance at his young partner, who was flipping off mens' backs and shoulders and kicked them in the face in the process, his signature cackle echoing off the walls. Batman almost smiled; almost.
He was brought back to his senses by what could only be described as the Bat-sense. The hair on the back of his neck rose and he spun around, blocking a punch to his chest with his forearms. Before the thug could recoil his arm, the hero grabbed it and pulled, twisting his body 180° and raised his elbow, pulling the man right into it. Another broken nose and another thug down.
He surveyed the alley and noticed that all the men were down, piling around him and his partner. Apropos partner. Robin was looking at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly open. "Oh my God, that was so cool! You punched and then a kick and that elbow thingy, awesome! And then you caught that punch and how you sensed that guy and swept the legs out from under another! And the way you moved and it looks like you don't even break a sweat and the force behind your attacks and the way the thugs run from you and your glare, scaring the crap out of them and, and... it's asterous! How do you do that?!"
Batman smiled slightly as Robin cocked his head to the side curiously, seemingly breathless. The young boy opened his mouth again. "How come you can do all that? I mean you're only human, why are you so... perfect?"
The answer:
"Because I'm Batman."
The second time wasn't even as Batman and Robin, but as Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson. They were getting ready for the upcoming movie night, Alfred's idea of a father-son bonding ritual he had enforced upon the two, not that they really minded. The only problem; what movie to watch?
"Why can't we watch 'The Walking Dead?'" asked Dick annoyed, bouncing off the couch.
"You are too you, Dick. No zombie movies."
"Oh, come on!" the young boy whined, giving Bruce his puppy dog eyes. Bruce didn't budge. "No."
"Fiiiiine, then 'Game of Thrones'!"
Bruce gave him a sharp look, his parental instinct kicking in. "No. You're eleven, Dick, not sixteen."
"But Bruuuuce! I see blood and stuff all the time!"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Pretty, pretty, please?"
"No."
"Pleeeeease?"
"No."
Dick sighed defeated.
"Then... 'Vampire Diaries'?"
"No."
"Seriously?!" Dick cried incredulously. "I'm not too young for that!"
"But I'm not watching a vampire romance for horny teenagers," deadpanned Bruce, crossing his arms. "No vampires."
"Then what would you suggest? 'My little Pony'?" the acrobat asked sarcastically. Bruce seemed to ponder it and Dick gasped. "I was kidding!"
"Too bad. We're watching it."
"Not fair! Why do you get to decide what we watch?!"
Bruce smirked.
"Because I'm Batman."
The third time had Wally West guest starring. The young speedster and Robin were discussing things in Mount Justice's kitchen. "How do you do that all the time?" cried Kid Flash, throwing his arms in the air to emphasise that he was seriously lost. "One second there's no one there- and then bam!- you just stand there. I understand how Megan and her uncle are doing it, but you and Bats? How?"
Robin laughed. "A bat always keeps its secrets."
"No fair, dude! I want to learn that too! I mean, it could be helpful on missions," he tried to persuade his best friend, but the bird just laughed harder, eyes twinkling. "No can do."
"Why not?"
"The old man's order. No teaching bat-secrets."
Wally pouted and crossed his arms stubbornly. "And why do you listen to him?"
And with a not very convincing imitation of Batman's voice, Robin answered, "Because he's Batman."
"That's not even close to how I sound."
Both boys jumped and spun around, Wally squealing like a five-year-old. "Dude, how do you do that?" he asked, gaping at the looming figure of Batman. "And why do you always manage to sneak up on me?" demanded Robin, looking pouty at his mentor. Batman's smirk said it all. "Because I'm Batman."
"Please?"
"No."
"Pleeeeeease?"
"No."
"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseple-"
Bruce clamped a hand over his son's mouth. "No. We're not getting a cat."
"But whyyyyyyyy?"
"No cat," said Bruce stubbornly, giving Dick a weak version of the Bat-glare.
The acrobat huffed. "But I want a pet!"
He looked at Bruce with big, blue, pleading eyes. No one can resist his puppy dog eyes. No one.
"No. And don't give me those baby bat eyes."
Dick blinked. How? No one could resist his puppy dog eyes, ever!
"Wait, baby bat? Why baby bat?"
"Because I'm Batman. And Batmans have Baby Bats."
The fifth time was shortly after the pet shop incident. Wally and Dick were standing in the Mountain's main room, talking about pets.
"So, did you get the cat?"
"No."
"...Then why are you smiling?"
Instead of answering, Dick raised his arm and extended it sideways. Wally gasped at the little animal that hung head down from his best friend's arm. "Oh my God. He bought you a bat?!"
Dick nodded proudly, patting the lethery head. "Isn't he cute? I called him Norbert Günter Hans Peter Grayson-Wayne."
Wally blinked and rubbed the back of his neck. "Okaaaay, whatever. So, why did he get you a bat? I mean, don't you already have like a hundred?"
Dick opened his mouth to answer, but a shadow in the corner if his eyes caught his attention. "Why don't you ask him yourself?"
"What?"
Wally jumped and screamed like a five-year-old; again, as a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.
"Dude!" He complained, putting a hand over his racing heart. "Don't do that!"
Batman decided to ignore him and asked instead, "What are you supposed to ask me?"
"Why you got Rob a bat," replied the still shaken speedster.
"Because I'm Batman," was the answer Wally received, a smirk on B's face.
Batman was doomed. Well, at least for now. He hung upside down from the ceiling, body completely immobilized by thick chains. He couldn't even squirm- not that he would ever admit he tried to squirm- and the weights that were attached to his shoulders would make him splatter head first on the ground, if the chains were released from the ceiling. And he was unable to reach any of his tools, thanks to the iron cuffs around his fists- he couldn't so much as twitch a finger.
Two of the clown-masked goons stood guard on the door, while the maniac himself approached the Bat, scarlet lips twisted into a sick smile. "Batsy!" The clown exclaimed, swinging a rusted crowbar from side to side. "Long time no see!"
Batman stayed silent. He knew better than to respond to any of the Joker's comments. "Why so serious?!" the villain cried, doubling over laughing. When Batman still didn't aknowlege him, his lips turned downward, making him look like a broken puppet. "Why aren't you laughing?" Again, the vigilante remained silent. "Then I'll just have to make you laugh!"
And Joker raised his crowbar, but before the weapon could even come close to hitting Batman, a sharp object came flying through the air and knocked it right out of Joker's hand. The clown took a moment to process what had just happened, but then a bright smile covered his face. "Bird Boy, you came!"
Joker took a knife out of his back pocket, twirling it in one hand. "And now, Boy Blunder, you'll come down here, or I'll cut dear ol' daddy into tin-" A rock knocked the Joker out cold.
Yes, a rock. Batman stared at the unconscious form of his enemy and the piece of stone next to his head. Where did Robin even get a rock from? At first, Batman had been worried for his partner, didn't want him near the clown, but now... Looks like Robin was tougher than Batman thought. And had rocks in his utility belt...
The little bird jumped down from the rafters and Batman saw the mischievous smirk on his young partner's lips. "Did you see his face?!" Underneath the cowl, Batman rolled his eyes. Yes, he had. "Focus, Robin."
"Yes, sorry." He turned to face the two thugs who still stood near the door, staring at him open mouthed. Yeah, it was hard to believe that a scrawny twelve-year-old boy just knocked out their big bad leader. Batman couldn't help the proud smile that grazed his features. Robin wasn't called 'Boy Wonder' for nothing.
As Robin took a step forward, one of the goons bolted, running out the door screaming, while the other one stood frozen in place. "Uh... You're tiny," he stuttered, still gaping at Robin. The boy shrugged. "I know."
"I used to be small too."
"Really? But you're what, 5'11 feet!"
"I grew in my late teens. But when I was your age, I was really small."
Batman cleared his throat to gain Robin's attention, but the boy was too focused on his conversation.
"You think I'll grow, too?"
"Yeah, probably. With all the crime fighting you do, you have a good body statue, now you only need to gain a few inches and you're the same as Batman."
"You think?!"
"Yes."
"Cool!" Robin grinned wildly.
"Do you like books?" He asked randomly, smiling at the goon.
The guy nodded. "Yes, sci-fi and fantasy. Have you read 'Mortal Instruments?'"
Robin squealed. "Oh my God, yes! I love Izzy. She's just so frinkin' badass."
"Yes, right! But my favorite is Jace. He's awesome."
Robin nodded enthusiastically. "I know what you mean. But the best ship is-"
"Malec," finished the men Dick's sentence. "Yes! Malec rocks!"
"Oh, but another great book is 'Percy Jackson'."
"Yes! I love Greek and Roman mythology," exclaimed Robin excitedly.
"Me, too!"
"I once-"
Batman decided he had enough. His head was starting to hurt and he needed a coffee. "Robin," he growled and the boy began pouting. "I don't wanna!"
"Now." With a sigh, the young crime-fighter jumped forward and knocked his fists into the guy's temple, knocking him out. Then he opened the chains binding Batman to the ceiling and released his mentor. "Why do you always have to chit-chat with the enemy?" groaned the older man, striding over to the open door.
Robin grinned.
"Because I'm Robin."
And Batman couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lips.