"So... tonight's the big night?" Izzy flashed a conspiratorial grin at Clary from the doorway, giving her an enthusiastic thumbs-up. "Good for you!"

She was gone before Clary could come up with a reply, leaving her to smile to herself and shake her head as she checked her make-up one last time in the mirror. The big night indeed.

"What big night?"

Her head snapped up and she spun around to find Jace leaning against the door jamb, inspecting his nails in a study of nonchalance. "Jace!"

"What big night?" he repeated. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, not his usual Shadowhunter get-up, and he looked oddly normal like this, normal and relaxed and friendly.

"It's... I... we..." Clary hated herself for stammering. Really, it wasn't as if she had anything to hide. Still, somehow she didn't fancy telling him about her plans.

But Jace had already guessed. "Oh. You and Simon." He was clearly aiming for a neutral tone, but his posture had grown tense, and there was a strained look around his mouth. "You're finally going to do the deed?"

Clary felt her hackles rise. "So what?" Jutting out her chin, she fixed him with an icy glare. "Do you have a problem with it?"

"No! No, I just..." Jace hesitated, but then he took one step further into the room, letting the door fall shut behind him. Clary couldn't quite place the expression on his face, hurt and embarrassment maybe and... concern? "Clary, are you sure? I mean, as far as I know you've never-"

She'd thought she was mad before, but this was too much. "And what if I haven't? How is it any of your business?"

He shook his head. "It isn't. Only, if I'm not very much mistaken, Simon isn't exactly experienced either, and if he-"

"What?" Clary had heard enough. More than enough in fact. "Are you honestly saying what I think you're saying? You think Simon's not up for it, and you could do better? The great Jace Wayland-"

"Herondale," he corrected her, in that irritatingly calm tone of voice of his. "And I don't think so. I know I could do better."

He wasn't even bragging, Clary realized, just stating a fact. And somehow that was worse. Bragging she could have handled, with a sarcastic reply or two, but this... It didn't help that deep inside she knew he was right. If he set his mind to it, she had no doubt whatsoever that he could make it good for her. Spectacularly good, probably. But even thinking along those lines wasn't fair to poor Simon, not fair at all, and that made her even angrier. So, she did the only thing she could think of and took her anger out on the guy before her. God knows, he deserves it!

"You really do have an amazingly high opinion of yourself, Jace Herondale," she nearly spit at him. "You arrogant, presumptuous-"

"All right, all right!" Jace raised both hands in a defensive gesture. "Hey, cool your jets, okay? Forget I said anything."

"Oh, and now you expect me to just forget about it?" Clary was fuming. "You've got some nerve, I have to say!"

"Damn it, Clary." Jace shook his head, no longer quite so calm. "I said I'm sorry. You know me. You know I'm not like Simon, all sweet and sensitive and noble. That's not who I am. And it's hard, you know, watching the two of you grow closer, when I still-"

He broke off, looking embarrassed, but Clary was in no mood to be merciful. "When you still what?" she demanded.

Jace looked away for a heartbeat, but then he met her gaze, suddenly defiant. "When I still want you so much."

Clary couldn't believe her ears. "Oh, you still want me? Then what about..." Maia, she wanted to say, and all the others he'd probably been messing around with in the past weeks.

But he didn't let her finish. "It didn't mean a thing." His voice sounded strangled. "It's you I dream of. Every single night, all night. And I wake up-" He broke off, blushing.

Clary felt her own face heat up when she realized what he'd been about to say. "You dream of me?" She was too dazed to come up with a better answer. Of course, some part of her had known that he still had feelings for her, but the sheer intensity behind his words made her breath catch in her throat.

"Only you." He was still looking at her, and his eyes, those odd, mismatched eyes, seemed more mesmerizing than ever. "It was bad enough when I still thought we couldn't be together, but now that I know-" He shook himself, as if waking from a trance. "I should go." Slowly he turned away.

"Jace, wait!" Clary didn't know what made her say the words. Some perverse need to torment him further, maybe, or maybe it was just the pounding of her blood in her ears that was drowning out all reason. "Don't go."

"Clary…" He turned back, and he looked wary and sad. "Look-"

"In your dreams, what do I do?" Clary's heart was racing, but for reasons she couldn't name, she needed to know, needed him to answer. "Tell me."

"Don't!" Jace looked almost desperate now, his whole body as taut as one of Alec's bowstrings. "This is madness."

"Tell me!" She put all her force of will into the words.

Jace closed his eyes, shivering all over, and when he opened them again, something had changed. "In my dreams…" He inhaled sharply. "In my dreams, you want it just as much as I do. You beg me to take you. You can't get enough of my mouth, my hands…"

Clary's head was spinning, but she needed to hear more. "Go on," she whispered.

He groaned, but he obeyed. "When I kiss you, you taste like heaven, and when I touch you… you are so warm, Clary, so willing, so wet for me-"

Her face grew even hotter. No one had ever talked to her like this, with such raw sensuality, such candid desire. And, by the Angel, every word he'd said was true, because she did want him, she wanted him so badly she could barely see straight, and she was wet for him, wet and throbbing. "Jace…" There was no way to hold back the moan escaping her lips, no way to hide the trembling of her hands.

She swayed on her feet, suddenly dizzy, and he was at her side in a heartbeat, catching her, pulling her close to his hard, lean body. "Damn it, Clary. What are you doing?"

They were both panting, actually panting – Clary had always thought that was something only people in stories did, but now her breath was coming in quick, hard gasps. She could feel the desire coming off him in waves, as clearly as if she could see it. "Jace, please." An inner voice was screaming at her that she couldn't do this, that it was all a complete mess, but Clary didn't care. "Please!"

He must have heard the urgency in her voice, or maybe he was just at the end of his tether himself. His mouth came crashing down on hers, hard and demanding, his tongue parting her lips without the slightest hesitation. And Clary gave in, kissed him back, drank his moans from his lips, unwilling to ever stop again.

Jace's hands locked tight around her waist and he took one, two steps backwards, dragging her with him until they dropped into a chair together. His lips never left her mouth as he pulled her into his lap, his large hands firm and assured on her back. Clary had never been kissed like that, so hungry and full of abandon, and it was all she could do not to whimper into his mouth.

When he finally pulled back, she was trembling all over. "Clary…" His voice was hoarse with want as he pulled her even closer, his lips trailing hotly down her throat. She was wearing a thin silk blouse, no bra – it wasn't like she'd ever needed one – and her nipples were straining so hard against the thin fabric that at any other time she would have been embarrassed. When Jace's fingers brushed against them, with the lightest of touches, she gasped hard.

"Feel good?" For a heartbeat there was a trace of smugness in his expression, but when she glared at him, he relented immediately. "Hey. Just checking in." His eyes grew darker, and he bent down to let his lips trail softly over her aching breasts. "By the Angel, Clary, you drive me crazy."

And now she could fee his mouth on her, through the thin silk, hot and wet and sinful, and Clary nearly fainted. He started with just a few careful licks, but when she responded by cradling his head in her hands, burying her fingers in his hair, he made a small noise, deep in his throat and sucked.

The world went away for a moment, Clary was pretty sure of it. The pull of his mouth went straight to her core, and made her ache inside, ache for him, just for him. She could feel him through his jeans, hard and hot, and she knew with sudden clarity that she wanted him, wanted him now. How could she possibly have thought anybody else could ever be good enough, how could she possibly have considered sleeping with Simon-

Simon. The thought of him was like a cold shower and Clary pulled back, gasping. She wanted Jace more than she'd ever thought she could want anyone, but not like this. Not-

"What is it?" Jace's voice was hoarse, and he looked sort of adorably dazed, as if she'd torn him from a pleasant dream. "Second thoughts?"

Clary shook her head, pulling back a little. "No. I want you."

His eyes lit up at her words, but he still seemed wary. "But?"

"But I need to talk to Simon first." She spoke quickly, before she could change her mind again, because Jace's hand was still cupping her breast, his thumb circling her nipple, and she really, really didn't want him to stop caressing her. But this had to be done. "Please, Jace. I don't think I could live with myself if-"

"All right." Jace's tone was calm and collected, and Clary could hardly believe her ears. She'd expected protest, recriminations, anger, but he surprised her by letting go of her and gently pushing her off his knees. "All right," he repeated, smiling a little at her astonished face. "Go on, then, talk to him. Tell him it's over."

Clary flinched at his words, but he was right. There would be no sugar-coating this – she owed Simon that much. "You don't mind? You don't-"

Jace shook his head. "You're right. If we do this now, you'll regret it. And that's the last thing I want. Besides…." He leaned back a little, and she could see the tension in his body. "Maybe it's better that way. I don't think I could possibly be as considerate as you need me to be right now. I'll go and have a nice long shower first, to take off the edge."

"How would taking a shower- Oh." Clary bit her lip, feeling her cheeks heat up again at the image his words conjured: Jace naked in the shower, drops of water glistening on his perfect body while he was touching himself, moaning her name… Enough! She firmly told herself. If she kept thinking along those lines, she would never be able to bring herself to leave. "And then?"

"And then I'm going to go to bed and wait for you." His eyes were flashing fire at her, but his tone was still calm, infuriatingly calm. "And if you still want this…" He swallowed so hard she could see his throat move. "Come to me, and I'm going to make you feel things you've never felt before, Clary. I promise."

It was her turn to swallow. "Okay."

Slowly, he got to his feet, wincing at the tightness of his jeans. "See you later then."

And he was gone, leaving her still panting, still so worked up that it was hard to focus. Quickly, she made her way over to the mirror to check her appearance. She looked a little tousled and her lipstick was all messed up, but that was easy to fix. After a little consideration, she took off the silk blouse and replaced it with a plain green shirt. No point in looking alluring for Simon if she was only going to let him down.

For a moment she stared at her reflection, unsure of whether she was doing the right thing. Simon was such a sweetheart, and she loved him, she truly did. How could she even consider throwing away what they had, just because she had the hots for another guy? Wasn't friendship more important than sex in the long run? Did it really matter if her relationship with Simon lacked passion, when there was so much else that was good and right about it?

But then she recalled the feeling of Jace's mouth on hers, and she mentally shook her head. Simon had been right to be cautious – when all was said and done, they really were better as friends. In all the time they'd been together, she'd never felt anything like the storm that was tearing through her now, never anything more than fondness, and that was the simple truth. She owed it to them both to be honest about her feelings for Jace, no matter what came of them. If only there was a way to avoid hurting Simon… But deep inside, she knew the pain was unavoidable.

"You can do this, Fray." Taking a deep breath, she turned to face the door.

Talking to Simon was every bit as bad as she'd feared. It would have been easier if he'd raged against her, if he'd put up a fight, but instead he was resigned, quiet, as if her words only confirmed his own worst fears. Still, it hurt to see the sadness in his eyes, the shattered look on his face. Clary felt bad about leaving him like this, but when she offered to stay, he shook his head and sent her away. He was probably right, she thought, as she let herself back into the Institute. Nothing she could do or say was going to make this better.

Back in her room, she hesitated for a moment, her back against the door. What now? She had cried a little on the way home, and now she felt tired. Some part of her wanted to go to bed, to curl up with a good book, maybe, and some hot cocoa. To pretend for a moment that everything was just as it used to be, without all the complications and challenges of life as a Shadowhunter.

But then she thought of Jace, who was lying in his room now, waiting patiently for her. She could picture him, on the bed, shirtless probably, to show off his runes. He was such a smug bastard sometimes! She rolled her eyes at the memory of his earlier words. I know I could do better. Of course he would think that! Then again, judging from the way he'd driven her wild with just a few kisses and touches, it was probably nothing but the truth. I'm going to make you feel things you've never felt before. Clary shivered all over. Time to find out if he could really deliver on his promises.

When she knocked on his door, a little timidly, he replied immediately. "Come in."

The scene greeting her was much as she had imagined, Jace on the bed, dressed in nothing but a pair of loose sweatpants, with his gorgeous body proudly on display. But there was no trace of smugness in his expression when he sat up. "Hey."

Trembling slightly, she sat down next to him, on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the cover to hide her nervousness. "Here I am."

He nodded, taking her hand and stroking her palm softly with this thumb. "I wasn't sure you'd come," he admitted.

"Me neither." Clary swallowed, casting about for something to say. "I see you've taken that shower you mentioned?"

"Yes." His lips twitched in amusement. "Look. All clean and relaxed." He made a sweeping gesture, all the way down his body.

Clary allowed her eyes to follow the same trail: his hair, soft for once and tousled, without the copious amounts of gel he used to keep it in place during the day; his firm chest and chiselled stomach; the runes covering almost every inch of his skin. He looked amazing, and no doubt he was well aware of that. He smelled nice, too, fresh and clean, with a hint of spicy sandalwood. Her fingers were itching to touch him.

"And you?" He was all seriousness again. "Did you talk to him?"

She nodded. "Yes. It's done."

Jace gave her a long, searching look, raising his hand to cup her face. "You've been crying." His finger softly traced her cheek in a caress so tender that it almost made tears rise to her eyes again. It was so rare to see this side of him, all soft and gentle, with none of his usual cockiness in place to hide it, and it touched her, more than she had expected.

"I'm fine." Slowly, she turned her head to breathe a kiss on his palm. "Kiss me."

"Clary…" His fingers slid into her hair, their grip tightening. Holding her gaze, he pulled her in for a kiss.

It was completely different from their earlier kisses, far less urgent and demanding, sweet and drawn out, his tongue exploring her mouth with a thoroughness that left her entirely breathless. And yet, there was the same intensity of feeling behind it, an instant connection between their bodies, like an electric current pulsing through both of them. Already, she was tingling all over again, and when he let go off her to catch his breath, his eyes were dark and a little wild.

"More." She could hear the tremor in her voice, and so could Jace, judging from his reaction.

One swift manoeuvre of his had her lying flat on her back next to him, with his body looming over her and his hands eagerly mapping every inch of her body. "Damn it, Clary, you are so lovely."

Bending down to kiss her again, he worked his hand under her shirt, slowly sliding upwards until he found her breast. He stopped at this point, inhaling sharply. "I want to see you." His fingers clenched in the fabric of her shirt, and Clary shivered all over. "May I?"

She nodded silently, not trusting her voice. The shirt came off, and Jace drew another shaky breath. His eyes were fixed on her breasts, drinking in the sight with an expression of sheer awe, and Clary wondered why she'd ever worried about them being too small or not sexy enough. Clearly, in his eyes, they were perfect.

The thought made her more courageous than she otherwise would have been. Tentatively, she placed one hand on his chest, revelling in his answering shudder. His eyes were half-closed as she slowly traced the muscles in his abdomen, then moved even lower, along the fine trail of hair on his stomach, her fingers trembling as they reached the hem of his pants.

His arousal was more than obvious through the thin material, and for a heartbeat she hesitated. But she wanted this, wanted to see him, touch him, and she was determined to show him how much. Carefully, she worked her fingers under the elastic, marvelling at how soft his skin was.

"Clary. Yes." Jace's voice was rough like sandpaper now, and his gaze had shifted to her hand, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Lifting his hips a little off the bed, he helped her push down his pants, wiggling a little to get them off his feet.

And now he was bare before her, and Clary could look her fill. Lying back with a small smile, he kept very quiet, allowing her to take her time. He was beautiful here, too, long and thick, his skin smooth and pale golden, and Clary was struck by the sudden urge to touch him, to let her fingers encircle him, to feel every inch of him.

Jace was still watching her, quiet and patient. Licking her lips, Clary nervously reached out for him. The moment her fingers closed around his shaft, his head fell back, and he gasped again, hard and urgent. "Damn it, Clary, you-"

She'd meant to draw this out a little, to explore his reactions, but after just a few careful strokes, he caught her wrist. His hand was hot and tight, and when she raised a questioning eyebrow, he huffed out a shaky little laugh. "You need to stop this. Now."

Pushing her hand aside, he drew her into another long, fiery kiss, pulling her so close that she could feel his warmth all along her body. And still, it wasn't enough, because her jeans were in the way, and suddenly, it seemed vitally important to get rid of them. So she didn't object at all when he reached for the zipper. With shaking hands, she helped him push them down, whining when he embraced her again and his legs entangled with hers.

She was still wearing her underwear, but now Jace was hooking his fingers into the waistband, looking at her expectantly. Clary felt another blush coming up, and hesitated. Jace smiled a little, some of his earlier smugness returning. Still holding her gaze, he brushed his thumb softly over the soaked cotton, finding the perfect spot with unerring certainty. Clary cried out, her hips bucking up, as a red-hot flare of lust shot through her core.

The look in Jace's eyes grew predatory, and when he gave another tentative tug, she nodded eagerly. Slowly, he peeled the fabric away from her, placing a flurry of kisses on the sensitive skin of her thighs. Clary was floating on a cloud of pleasure, her whole being consumed with the need to touch him and be touched by him, to feel him, everywhere.

"Shhh." Another kiss, high up on her left thigh, and now he was pushing her legs slowly apart, arranging himself between them. "I got you." She felt his stubble against her thighs, his breath on her, the soft brush of his lips against her core. When his tongue slowly slipped between her folds, Clary cried out, arching her back. Her fingers scrabbled for purchase until they finally settled on his wide shoulders, her nails digging in as she grabbed him hard, trying to anchor herself.

Jace. Here, in the bed with her, making love to her. And she knew, with blinding clarity, that this was what she wanted, what she needed, with every fibre of her being. It was her last coherent thought for a while.

Jace was in heaven. Or at least he couldn't imagine heaven being any better than this, now that he had Clary in his arms, the sweet, sweet taste of her on his tongue, her soft moans echoing in his ears.

He had wanted her for so long, and for the longest time he had told himself that he could never have her. First because of Valentine's lies, and then because she'd been with Simon. He'd told himself that she was happy, that he had no right to come between them, that he ought to be content with fighting by her side.

But this afternoon, when he'd watched her get ready for her date, when he'd realized what she was about to do, something had snapped in him. He couldn't allow this to happen, couldn't let her go and sleep with Simon. It had been bad enough watching them kiss and cuddle, like lovesick puppies. The mere thought of Simon making a mess of this made him physically sick, because this was Clary, and she deserved a first time that was utterly, completely perfect.

Slowly working a finger inside her, drawing yet another moan from her lips, he smiled to himself. So maybe it was arrogant of him to think he could do better. Maybe that was just a pretext anyway, because he wanted her for himself. Maybe a better man than him would have stepped aside and left the two of them alone. But Clary had said she wanted him, too, and her body was telling him the same thing. And now that she was finally within his reach, he was determined not to let anything else come between them.

She felt so good around his finger, hot and slick and tight, and he forced himself to go as slow as he possibly could, spreading her wider and wider, while his tongue circled her clit with just enough pressure to make her whine with delight. Pushing just a little deeper, he curved his finger just so, before letting his tongue flutter directly against her clit. He was rewarded with a high-pitched cry as she clenched hard around his finger.

Cursing under his breath, he sent a quiet prayer of thanks up to the skies for the quick release he'd found in the shower. Letting her go earlier had been torture, but he had been one step away from grabbing her and pounding into her like a brute. And she deserved so much better. She deserved all his skill and patience, now and always.

Clary was getting close now, her smooth white skin flushed pink with desire, her breath coming in quick gasps. He pulled back, ignoring her feeble sounds of protest, and caught her lips in another kiss, wrapping her long legs around his hips. Her body was more than ready, and he was already nudging against her, her heat and wetness almost too much to bear. But he had to be certain.

Breaking the kiss, he caught her gaze. "Clary. Are you sure?"

"Jace. Yes." Her eyes, her beautiful eyes, looked huge in the dim light, and they were so full of emotion he had to swallow. "I love you."

Her words hit him like a blow from the Sword of Truth. He hadn't expected that, hadn't even allowed himself to think in those terms. They wanted each other, sure, and that was fine. He knew all about sex, he knew how to give her what she needed. He'd promised her things she'd never felt before, and he was certain he had delivered so far. But now he realized, with a sudden, sweet shock, that he, too, was feeling something he'd never felt before. He'd been with so many girls, but none of them had ever made him feel remotely like Clary did, so complete, so happy, and yet so full of yearning.

"Clary. I love you, too." Again, he caught her lips, and at the same time, he slowly slid inside her, inch by careful inch, swallowing her sighs of pleasure.

He only stopped when he was fully lodged inside her, as deep as he could go without hurting her. He had to stop then, because it was so overwhelming, her tight heat surrounding him, her lips on his… and most of all the way she'd abandoned herself completely to him, no holds barred, no questions asked, trusting him to make it good. And by the Angel, it was good, better than anything else in the whole world.

When he began to move, with careful, shallow thrusts at first, she clung to him tightly, her nails digging deep into his back. Jace didn't care. All his attention was focussed on how she felt around him, how she opened up for him more and more with each slow, sure stroke, until he finally felt confident to go deeper, pushing himself up on his arms and speeding up his thrusts. Clary gave a small, surprised gasp, but then she was moving with him, falling into the rhythm he'd set as easily as if they'd done this a thousand times before.

A wild rush of lust raced up his spine at the sight of her under him, her lips shaped into a perfect circle, her flaming red hair clinging damply to her temples, surrounding her beautiful face like a halo. His hips were snapping against her, hard and fast, and some part of him worried that it was too hard, too fast for her. But it seemed impossible to stop now, and Clary certainly wasn't complaining, not at all. She was moaning and gasping, her nails raking down his back, the pain a perfect counterpoint to the pleasure building in his lower abdomen. With every stroke, she was clenching harder and harder around him, working toward the climax that was lurking just around the corner.

Briefly, he wondered whether he should reach down to help her along, but just then she cried out, her whole body going tense as she arched up in a perfect curve, her expression so indescribably beautiful that he simply blanked out. His own orgasm hit him without warning, so hard that he lost track of space and time for a moment. There was nothing but the sweet, sweet pleasure flooding every cell in his body, nothing but the heat of their joined bodies, nothing but her in his arms, so close, so tight, so utterly perfect.

When he came down from that incredible high, Clary was looking at him, smiling at him, and he simply couldn't help himself. Sliding down her body, he put his mouth on her again, and this time he didn't go slow, this time he wasn't careful. He could taste himself on her and it drove him wild as he worked his tongue deep inside her, drinking her up, determined to bring her over a second time. It didn't take long. Clary was still sensitive from their lovemaking, and within moments she was crying out again, pulsing hard against his tongue, her heels digging deep into the bed.

He kissed her afterwards, couldn't stop kissing her, couldn't stop telling her that he loved her. Her eyes were bright with love and her smile was sweeter than it had ever been. And Jace was happy, simply and truly happy.

Sheer, pure happiness. Definitely something he'd never felt before.

All the hugs and thanks to my wonderful and amazing beta suilven.