Thanks to RandomFan, Chireain, Alllans, Eternal Nexus Warrior and MonalisaRomano17 for reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

Chapter 5

"Alright, so, like, should we start on the project tomorrow?" Feliks asked.

"What makes you think that I'm going to be working with you?" Lovino asked.

"Do you have anyone else in mind?"

Lovino didn't answer. In truth, he couldn't figure out why anyone would want to do a project with him. No one ever wanted to be in a group with Lovino. Sometimes, his assigned partner would tell him that he didn't have to bother with anything and that his partner would do everything. They said that they didn't want to fail. And other times, the person would outright ask if he could have another partner. But that was only when they were assigned partners. When they were allowed to choose their own partners, then Lovino was always the one left behind. Even if the class was made up of an even number, there would always be a group with one extra member because that person didn't want to be in a group with Lovino. But sometimes, if they were in the same class, Feliciano would volunteer to be with Lovino. But the elder twin could always tell that it wasn't really by choice. Feliciano would already be with someone else, but in the rare instances when he would pay attention to his brother, he would see that he was alone and offer to be with him.

Lovino hated it when Feliciano did it. If they did poorly, then Lovino was the one that got blamed for bringing his brother down, even though they did an equal amount of work, and everyone who had been in a group with Feliciano knew that he would try to delay the work for as long as possible.

"Okay then," Feliks said. "Should we go to my house or yours?"

"Yours would be better," Lovino said.

He didn't really want to have to see his father being painfully nice to someone because he was a guest. Especially since that same kindness couldn't be extended to his own son. He also wanted to limit the amount of time Feliks spent around Feliciano. Because a part of him wanted the companionship, but he knew that his new 'friend' would abandon him for Feliciano. They always did.

"Okay then," Feliks said. "I'll like tell my parents, and you can have enough time to tell yours that you wouldn't be coming home immediately."

Lovino shrugged. He wasn't always home at the same time that Feliciano and Marcello were. He would sometimes prefer to walk instead of riding the bus. But he would need to be careful. The terrible trio would sometimes choose not to ride the bus either, and they would have no reason to pull any punches. Literally. Away from the school's faculty, they had no reason to continue pretending to be 'model students', and they would often torment Lovino. And Lovino would be the one to get into trouble with his father when he saw the injuries and assumed that Lovino got in a fight.

However, having Feliks as an alibi would certainly help his case. And for once, Feliciano could be useful and confirm that they had a group assignment. Feliciano would probably need to work with his partner anyway.

Perhaps this could be good. It could help avoid any unnecessary shouting. Because Lovino was honestly getting tired of being yelled at for things that weren't even his fault.

"So, why can't we start today?" Lovino asked.

Feliks flinched, before averting his eyes.

"Um…" he muttered. "I… I like have an… appointment."

He nervously rubbed his arms, and Lovino understood. Feliks had an appointment with a therapist. And naturally, he was unable to say it out loud.

"Sorry," Lovino said gently.

Feliks gave a small smile, and he seemed to perk up a little.

"Like, don't worry about it," he said. "So, tomorrow. I'll like ask my mom to pick us up after school. Just tell your parents that you like won't be coming."

Lovino nodded his head, trying to ignore the pang of pain when Feliks mentioned 'parents'. Plural. It had been years, but Lovino still carried the guilt and pain from his mother's death.

…

After school, Lovino made his way to the bus, along with his brothers. As long as no one told his father that he had skipped a class, or that he had been in a 'fight', then everything would be okay. He wouldn't have to listen to another chewing-out.

He noticed that the terrible trio weren't on the bus, and he relaxed somewhat. He could still feel their various punches. The one against his throat was especially torturous, since he was a little bruised from his… attempt the previous day.

It was unfair. Lovino was the victim, and yet he was the one that got all the blame. He was the one that everyone hated. Did he do something in a previous life that earned him this punishment? Was this life the hell that another life deserved? Because if that was the case, then he didn't know why he had to suffer for something that he couldn't even remember.

The ride was silent, and soon enough, they arrived home. But Lovino wasn't given a chance to relax.

"Lovino!"

He flinched, hearing the angry sound of his father's voice. Something that he was too familiar with. And soon enough, their father came into view.

Feliciano and Marcello, the traitorous cowards, quickly fled. They didn't want to be near when their father yelled at Lovino. Probably because he was always nice and friendly to them. Seeing their father anything but must have been scary.

"The school called me again," he said, crossing his arms. "You skipped another class."

"Stomach problems," Lovino said, subconsciously placing his hand there. "So sue me."

Romulus narrowed his eyes.

"You seem fine now," he said.

"After yesterday, I took some medication with me," Lovino lied.

If anything, he was a good liar. People would believe the lies that others told about him, so they would believe the lies that Lovino told.

Still, his father narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Lovino decided that he would need to change the topic.

"We have a group project to do," Lovino said. "I'm going to my partner's house tomorrow to work on it."

"Since when do you make an effort with a project?" Romulus asked, though there was a hint of relief in his voice. "What's the project?"

"We have to do research on the history between our two native countries. So, I have to look up the history of Italian-Polish relations."

"Poland, huh?" Romulus asked, a wistful smile on his face. "Fine. Just don't make your partner do everything."

Lovino grunted, before he went up the stairs. He came out relatively unscathed. There was the subtle jab at his 'laziness', but all things considered, it went fine.

Still, he couldn't help but wonder why his father said nothing about the 'fight' he got into. Did the school not inform him? Hopefully, Feliciano and Marcello knew nothing about it.

…

Vash Zwingli sighed, grading papers. This was all the teachers could do, wasn't it? Grading papers. And then the children had the audacity to complain about the amount of work they got, and challenge the teachers that they had no idea what their workload could be.

They didn't have a clue.

He paused when he came across the paper of Lovino Vargas. He could already tell that it was a half-hearted attempt. But instead of the usual annoyance, he couldn't help but think a bit about the Italian boy.

He had seen the punch thrown at the boy's throat. No matter the circumstances, there should have been no reason why Gilbert Beilschmidt should have gone for such a delicate area. And then there was the look that Vargas had thrown him… It wasn't a glare of anger. It was a glare of hurt, humiliation, pain and betrayal.

There were also other emotions. One looked a lot like surrender. And then, when he saw him in the hallways after school, Lovino's eyes looked dead. As though he had given up on all hope of living.

He realised that he would have to keep a close eye on that boy. Lately, there was something wrong with him. Something on a deeper level. And frankly, it terrified the teacher.

He hadn't reported the fight he'd seen, purely because of the disturbing emotions he'd seen in Vargas's eyes. He didn't know the full story. And Beilschmidt and his friends said something about Vargas insulting them and they lost their temper, but Vash had seen the smiles on their faces. They had enjoyed their assault.

He didn't usually get involved in the students' issues, but he had a feeling that he would need to see what was going on there. And if possible, he would need to intervene in the most appropriate way.

…

Feliks fidgeted nervously. It wasn't his first time at the therapist's office, but it didn't change the fact that he was nervous. He was forced to speak about things that he felt uncomfortable with. Though thankfully, Dr Williams was very nice, and allowed him to take his time.

He jumped when he was called in, and he nervously made his way to the office. Dr Williams looked up when he entered and smiled.

"Hi Feliks," the doctor greeted. "How are you?"

Feliks nodded his head, sitting down across from the doctor. He frowned in concern.

"Is there something bothering you?" he asked. "Wait… you started a new school, right? How has it been for you? Did you make any friends yet?"

Feliks nervously licked his lips.

"Like, it was fine," Feliks said. "Everyone was nice, and… Um, there are a few people that approached me, but… Um, you see… there's like someone that I think I need to be friends with."

The therapist frowned, leaning back slightly.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Feliks hesitated for a moment, before he sighed.

"I… I walked in on him attempting suicide," he said.

Dr Williams's eyes widened, and he leaned forward.

"Could you tell me exactly what happened?" he asked.

Feliks nodded his head.

"Like, I was feeling a bit of a panic attack, so I asked if I could like go to the bathroom," he recounted. "When I walked in… I saw a guy hanging in one of the cubicles. Well, like, the door, and the area on top… I managed to get him down, but… He really wanted to die."

Dr Williams sighed, massaging his temples.

"You did the right thing," he said. "Have you told anyone?"

Feliks shook his head.

"He's not very popular," he said. "In fact, it almost looks as though everyone hates him. Even the teachers. I don't want to make things harder for him. But… Like, I really think that he needs a friend."

"Well…" Dr Williams started. "Without speaking to him myself, I won't be able to tell what he needs. If you can convince him to come see me, I might help him."

Feliks shook his head.

"Like, he's stubborn," he said. "He won't ask for help."

"That just means he really needs my help," Dr Williams sighed. "Those that truly require help are afraid to reach out. They're afraid of bearing their souls, or being seen as weak, or having others believe that they're only after attention. And usually, they won't get help until it's far too late. He's already attempted suicide, and if he doesn't get the help he sorely needs, then he might attempt it again. And next time, he might succeed."

"Like, I'm totally afraid of that too."

"However, your approach might work. He needs to see that he's not alone. That there are those willing to help him. You'll be surprised how much a single kind word can do."

Feliks thought back to the bathroom, after he saved Lovino. He had been so resistant at first, but then had clung to him. He was seeking the comfort that Feliks provided.

"Like, I think I know what you mean," Feliks said.

"However," Dr Williams said, looking serious. "You need to be careful not to force him. You would only end up pushing him away."

"Okay," Feliks said, nodding his head. "Like, we have a group project to do together."

"Good. That way, you can get to know him a little better, and you have the project to act as a barrier, should he start to feel uncomfortable. You should also be careful not to let him think that the only reason why you're interested in being his friend is because you feel sorry for him."

"Like, he already told me that he doesn't want my pity, and I told him that it's not pity. I also told him about… About my own attempt. He calmed down after that."

"Calmed down?"

"He's… He's a bit prickly."

Matthew nodded his head.

"I see," he said. "Is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

"Like, I know he has two brothers," Feliks said.

"And what's his relationship with them?"

Feliks shrugged.

"I'm not really sure," he admitted. "But… He also seemed to think that I wanted to use him to make friends with his brothers."

"…If you're at his house for the project, I want you to look at the interaction between him and his brothers," Dr Williams said. "See if you can see what the nature of their relationship is. And if possible, you should go to his brothers to help him."

"I'll try."

Dr Williams nodded.

"So, is that all that was bothering you?" he asked.

"Tak, I guess," Feliks said. "Everything else at my school is going well."

"I'm glad to hear that."

…

Lovino sighed, closing the book. He'd already written down the day's verbal abuse, and so he could continue with something else.

He booted up his laptop, before he started to look for information on the historical relations of Italy and Poland. It would help to have at least a basic idea of what to look for. Taking his notebook, he started jotting down notes, specifically looking for dates and events that could prove useful. He would start searching for more information in the library the following day.

There was a knock on his door, and he groaned, before the door opened to reveal Feliciano, smiling brightly.

"Lovino, do you want to come watch a movie with us?" Feliciano asked.

"No thanks," Lovino said, turning away.

"But… it's Macbeth."

Lovino paused. He usually liked to watch the adaptations of Shakespeare's plays. Macbeth was one of his favourites. However…

"I'm not in the mood," he said, continuing to look for more information.

He could almost imagine Feliciano's pout, and after a few seconds he heard his door close. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. This was probably one of the few times when Feliciano was considerate about him, and his interests.

Lovino glanced towards the bookshelf, which was packed with books, mostly classics. He approached the shelf and searched for the book that held the complete collection of Shakespeare.

He was proud of his book collection, not only because of the contents, but because he bought each and every one of them. Ever since he was a kid, he preferred to spend his allowance on a book. He'd always liked the escape that they offered.

As he was searching, he came across a book of fairy tales. This book was thick, holding about fifty tales. This book was precious to him, as his mother always read these tales to him, and she in fact taught him how to read with this book. Soon enough, they would read together.

Lovino felt a pang at the reminder of his mother, and decided to abandon his search for the book. He found himself suddenly not in the mood. Not for anything.

He went to his bed and lay down. He curled up in a ball, trying to ignore the ache in his chest as he closed his eyes.

…

"Feliciano, go fetch Lovino," Romulus said.

Feliciano nodded, going up to his brother's room. It was time for dinner, and apparently Lovino didn't hear their father calling them. Feliciano knocked on the door before opening it.

The room was dark, and he could see a lump on the bed. His brother was sleeping. Well, he would need to wake him up if he wanted him to get something to eat.

As he approached, he realised that Lovino's sleep wasn't peaceful. His breathing was erratic, and he kept mumbling something. Feliciano reached out a hand when he heard something in particular.

"I'm sorry, Mama," Lovino muttered.

Feliciano was startled. Lovino was dreaming about their mother? Well, it wasn't too surprising, actually. Lovino had always been closer to her than Feliciano or Marcello were. And when she died, Lovino was devastated. To make matters worse, Lovino was in the car with her when the accident happened.

Feliciano swallowed thickly. He was caught between letting Lovino dream about their mother, and waking him up from the bad dream. He bit his lip, before he shook his brother awake.

"Lovino," Feliciano whispered. "Ve, it's dinner time."

Lovino's eyes snapped open, and Feliciano stepped back. That was when he realised that his brother was crying. Lovino averted his gaze, probably trying to hide the tears.

"I'm not hungry," he said. "I'll just take a shower and go to bed."

"Oh, okay," Feliciano said, before he left the room.

In truth, Feliciano was nervous around his twin brother. There was something about Lovino that put him on edge. It didn't help that Lovino was always brushing him off, especially when he tried to hug him. There were a few times when Lovino had hit him when Feliciano hugged him. But lately… it was as though Lovino's fire had been extinguished.

Feliciano told their father that Lovino wouldn't be joining them, and Romulus sighed in annoyance, before scooping Lovino's food back into the pot.