Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

Chapter 8

Lovino swallowed nervously as he approached his father. The nine-year-old was always worried about speaking to him. The older Italian was never patient with him, and Lovino always remembered those harsh words.

"P-padre, can I ask you something?" Lovino asked.

Romulus turned to him, his face lacking the smile it would have for Feliciano and Marcello, but there wasn't a frown. His eyebrow was just arched in curiosity.

"What is it?" Romulus asked.

"Well… There's a kid in my class," Lovino said. "All of the other kids are mean to him. He's a bit cranky, but I think he's just lonely. I want to be his friend. Do you think that's a good idea?"

Romulus stared at him for a moment before he sighed.

"This isn't something I'd expect from you," he said. "This is something I'd expect from Feli or Cello. It's nice, but… I don't think it's a good idea."

Lovino felt his heart drop.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Well… You said that everyone is mean to him and that he's cranky," Romulus said. "That must mean that he has a rotten personality. Someone like that would only hurt his friends. You're better off staying away. That type of person isn't worth your friendship."

Lovino felt his heart clench in his chest, but he lowered his head and nodded. He then turned around and tried not to run to his room.

A rotten personality… Someone like that would only hurt his friends… Not worthy of friendship…

Lovino wondered what his father would say if he had told him that Lovino was the boy.

…

Lovino woke up, tears staining his face. It was still dark, and a glance to the alarm clock revealed that it wouldn't be time to get up for a few more hours.

Lovino curled up into a ball, the horrible memory playing through his mind again. His father basically told him that he wasn't worthy of friendship. His body shook with sobs as his father's words echoed through his mind.

He sniffed, before turning on the lamp. He quickly opened the cabinet and withdrew the knife, before rolling up his sleeve. He took a deep breath before he dragged the knife along his skin. Again. And again. He also changed arms and made the same number of cuts. But it wasn't enough.

He pulled the nightshirt down a little, and his shoulders met the same fate. And then his chest. And his stomach. And then his thighs. Then his shins. He continued to cut himself until he stopped crying, and numbness replaced the pain.

He stared ahead of him for a moment, too numb and tired to do anything else. Finally, he managed to snap himself out of his stupor and started cleaning the new wounds. When everything was done, he turned the light off and climbed back under the covers.

As he waited for sleep to reclaim him, he thought of Feliks. The idiot who decided that he wanted to try to be Lovino's friend. Because he pitied Lovino. Because he thought that Lovino was the same as him. Because he was looking for an emotional crutch.

Lovino knew that Feliks went to the wrong person.

…

Lovino jumped awake the next morning when his father threw the door open. It was only then that he realised that the alarm was going wild.

"Wake up, Lovino!" Romulus snapped. "You're old enough that I shouldn't have to do this every morning!"

Lovino groaned, before he lifted himself up. He bit back a hiss of pain as the new cuts stung along his body. He'd been in a really bad shape the last time he woke up.

He was still tired after waking up in the middle of the night, and getting ready took longer than usual. He jumped when his father came back to fetch him.

"Are you ready now, or do you need me to dress you too?" Romulus asked sarcastically.

Lovino shot his father a look.

"You can glare at me all you want," Romulus said. "You need to work on your laziness at some point."

Lovino hadn't tried to glare at him. He had been trying to convey how much pain that statement caused. Yet another thing he failed at.

Romulus left, and Lovino tried to hurry, gathering everything together before going down the stairs and towards the kitchen. He said nothing, simply getting breakfast and eating it as fast as he could. He didn't notice that he ate less than normal. He wasn't hungry.

He had to go back upstairs to brush his teeth, and he made it just in time before the bus arrived. Lovino grabbed his bag, and made his way towards the door. His shoulder was grabbed by his father, and he flinched before snapping his head back to him.

"I don't want to get another call from your school," Romulus said. "I also don't want to hear that you were held back for anything."

Lovino could see the annoyance in his father's eyes, and he shrugged the other's hand off, before rushing out of the door, heading towards the bus. He made it just in time before the driver shut the door.

Lovino glanced around the bus, finally finding an empty seat. He sat down in it, before shutting out the rest of the bus by looking out of the window. There were only three people that would take interest in him, and he didn't want that to happen.

He could feel someone sitting down next to him, and he closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself for what was coming. There was also the threat made the previous day, and Lovino expected the threat to be acted out on soon enough.

"I saw you with that new guy," Antonio's voice said.

Lovino opened his eyes, but he didn't look at Antonio. He was preparing for the true attack.

"I can't believe that you would do that to anyone again," Antonio growled. "He seems nice. You should leave him alone."

Lovino clenched his fist, biting back the retort. He wasn't the one to approach Feliks. The other was clinging onto Lovino, despite Lovino informing him beforehand that it wasn't a wise decision. Lovino didn't want Feliks's company, and Feliks would be better off without him.

Antonio clicked his tongue, and Lovino kept waiting for the Spaniard to continue his assault.

"Look at me," Antonio growled.

Lovino once again refused, and a few moments later he gasped as Antonio grabbed hold of the errant curl on the right side of his head. A curl Antonio knew to be sensitive. Antonio tugged harshly, forcing Lovino to face him. The Italian tried hard not to show any tears, but with it being a natural instinct to having something so sensitive being attacked, he knew that it couldn't be helped. Antonio's angry face came into view, before grabbing Lovino's jaw with his other hand, thankfully releasing Lovino's curl.

"Listen carefully," Antonio hissed harshly. "You're a selfish bastard that needs to figure out that the world doesn't revolve around you. You're taking advantage of that poor kid, and I'm not going to let that happen. Neither will Gilbert or Francis. So, get it in your thick head: stay away. You're better off away from society where you can't poison anyone anymore."

Lovino managed to wrench himself free, and he tried to put as much distance between him and Antonio as the seat allowed. Instinctively, he kicked out at Antonio, who yelped in pain, before tackling Lovino, wrapping his hands around Lovino's throat.

"You shouldn't have done that," Antonio hissed.

"Hey, what's going on back there?" the driver asked.

Antonio narrowed his eyes, before releasing Lovino's throat. Lovino took a grateful breath, before he curled up against the window.

He hated that this happened to him. Everyone could see what was happening. No one would help. No one would tell the driver about what Antonio was doing to him. And the driver wouldn't pursue the issue. Not unless Lovino actually spoke.

Antonio's words kept echoing in Lovino's mind, and he wished that he could write them down. Write them down, get them out of his head. He also needed to get to the bathroom. He wouldn't show Antonio what he did to him. He would escape before Antonio gained a new weapon.

And as everyone finally filed out of the bus, he wished for them to move faster.

…

When Feliks entered the class, his eyes immediately searched for Feliciano. He found him easily enough, speaking with a group of friends. The twins were as different as night and day.

Feliks approached the bubbly Italian, who didn't immediately notice him. Feliks nervously looked around. There were too many people around. He needed to get Feliciano alone.

"Hey, Feliciano," Feliks called out.

Feliciano whipped his head towards him, and the already-present smile widened.

"Ve, ciao Feliks," Feliciano greeted. "Would you like to join us?"

Feliks quickly shook his head.

"Nie," he said. "Like, I need to talk to you. Um, like, alone, preferably."

Feliciano cocked his head to the side, but thankfully caught the message. They still had some time before the bell would ring. Feliks hoped that it was enough time to ask all he wanted to ask.

They stepped out of the classroom, going to the stairwell and standing out of sight. Feliciano had a curious frown on his face.

"Ve, what's going on?" Feliciano asked.

"Like, I wanted to ask you about… Lovino," Feliks said.

Feliciano's face lit up.

"Oh, is that all?" Feliciano asked. "Ve, what do you want to know?"

"…What's he like at home?" Feliks asked.

Feliciano placed a finger on his chin, thinking about the matter.

"Ve, he mostly keeps to his room," Feliciano said. "Mostly sleeping these days, actually. And Lovi isn't too easy to wake up. He can sleep through almost anything."

Feliciano said it innocently enough, but Feliks knew better. Before he'd attempted suicide, he had grown very tired. He would often sleep. And it became harder to wake up. Dr Williams explained that a change in sleeping patterns was often a symptom of depression, and it could go both ways. Lovino was sleeping more, because life exhausted him.

"What about your parents?" Feliks asked. "How's his relationship with them?"

Feliciano's smile fell, and there was a surprised look in his eyes.

"He hasn't told you?" he asked.

"Like, told me what?" Feliks asked.

Feliciano's expression turned sad.

"Our mama died a long time ago," Feliciano said. "Car accident. It's been almost ten years, actually. Next week's the anniversary."

Feliks took the news like a blow to the gut. He had been referring to Lovino's parents in the plural, when one of them was dead. It made him feel horrible, and made him feel like a jerk.

"Ve, Lovi was closer to Mama than Cello or I were," Feliciano said. "And he was in the car with her. He's still sad about it. And Papa… Lovi and Papa are always fighting. Mostly about Lovi getting in trouble all the time."

"And… what about you?" Feliks asked. "And Marcello?"

Feliciano winced, before he looked a bit nervous.

"…Ve, don't tell Lovi I told you any of this," Feliciano said. "He's… He doesn't like it when we hug him. He doesn't like it when we call him 'Lovi'. He also doesn't want to spend any time with us. To be honest… I'm a bit nervous around him. Especially lately. I don't know. Ve, it's like something's changed in him. And I'm scared of it."

Feliks bit his lip. He didn't know Lovino long or well enough to know what the change could have been, but if it scared Feliciano, then it couldn't be anything good.

But as for the reluctance to accept a hug… Feliks remembered when he found Lovino in the bathroom. How he was first reluctant to receive the hug, then accepted it as he cried, but when he had stopped crying he pulled away again. Feliks would have to ask Dr Williams about it.

"Like, does he bully you?" Feliks asked.

Feliciano gained a confused expression again.

"Ve, what makes you think that?" Feliciano asked. "No… Lovino's a bit rough around the edges, but he's not bullying me. He only gets mad at me if I hug him, especially from behind. Strange, huh? Oh, but there was a time when I kind of understood why he'd be angry. He broke his arm in the accident, and I didn't really understand it until Papa explained that every time I hugged Lovi I hurt his arm. Ve, I felt so bad. Oh, and he also gets mad if I call him Lovi to his face. I don't understand why he doesn't like that…"

Feliks was starting to relax a bit. Given how talkative Feliciano was, he was giving him a lot of information.

Before Feliks could ask anything else, the bell rung. Feliciano pouted, as though he was eager to speak to Feliks, but shook his head.

"Ve, we should get back to class," Feliciano said. "Grazie."

Feliks cocked his head. He knew that particular word.

"Why are you thanking me?" Feliks asked.

"Ve, for trying to be my brother's friend," Feliciano said. "Good luck."

Feliks felt that it was a little sad that Lovino's own twin would want to wish him luck for attempting to befriend his brother.

…

Feliks was on his way to the library when he was accosted by three figures. He'd seen them in some of his classes, but that wasn't what made him nervous. It was also because he'd seen these three tormenting Lovino.

"Hey, you're the new guy, right?" the German of the group asked. "Feliks or something."

"Tak," Feliks said, nodding his head for good measure. "And, like, who are you three?"

"I'm Gilbert, and these are my friends Antonio and Francis."

"We came to talk to you about something urgent," Francis, the blond, said. "It's concerning your association with Lovino."

Feliks narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Antonio raised his hands placatingly.

"Hey, we just want to tell you that it's seriously a bad idea," Antonio said. "Lovino is just using you to feel good about himself. Trust us."

"Tony and Franny both tried being his friends in the past," Gilbert said. "He did nothing but insult and belittle them, and he would sometimes even resort to violence. And then he would play the victim card."

"He's a psychopath," Francis said. "I shudder to think what he would do to his wife one day. He'll be one of those husbands that beat their wives over the most trivial matter."

Feliks wanted to come to Lovino's aid, but he was also afraid of becoming a new target. So, he decided to take a safer approach.

"Well, like, I'm partnered with him for the history project," Feliks said. "Like, I have to spend time with him."

"Just keep in mind what we've told you," Antonio said. "We're doing this to help you."

The three of them then turned to leave, and Feliks sighed in relief. Did they honestly expect that he would believe them? He saw them attacking Lovino. And considering the number of false rumours that existed about Lovino, he didn't find it hard to believe that anyone would want to lie about him.

As a precaution, Feliks took the long way to the library. He didn't want any of them to realise where he was going. He didn't want them to learn about Lovino's hiding place. He had no intention of betraying Lovino.

He was a bit tired when he arrived at the library, and he quickly returned the book he checked out the previous day, having obtained all the necessary information, before going towards the corner he was beginning to realise was Lovino's preferred place.

Lovino was furiously making notes, and he didn't even spare Feliks a glance. Feliks sat down across from Lovino.

"Like, sorry I'm late," Feliks said. "I ran into Gilbert and his friends."

Lovino's hand stopped writing, and Feliks could see that he had tensed. Still, Lovino didn't look at him.

"What did they say?" he asked, his voice flat.

Feliks frowned.

"Like, did something happen?" he asked. "You seem… different."

"I'm fine," Lovino snapped. "What did those three assholes tell you?"

"…They tried to tell me to stay away from you," Feliks said quietly.

Lovino scoffed, but it didn't look as though he was too surprised.

"The Spanish bastard pretty much said the same thing on the bus this morning," Lovino said. "And they're right. You should stay away from me, if you know what's good for you."

Feliks narrowed his eyes. He didn't usually get angry, but he was starting to get annoyed with Lovino, and his insistence on pushing him away.

"Give me one good reason why I should stay away from you," Feliks said.

Lovino bit his lip, and Feliks sighed.

"…At my old school, all of my friends decided that I totally wasn't worth it," Feliks said. "Like, they told me to my face that they didn't want to be associated with me anymore. That they, like, can't afford to become a target. They like totally left me alone for the wolves. And, like, you're telling me that I should stay away from you. Why?"

Lovino's jaw tensed.

"You're doing this because you think I need it," Lovino said. "And because you're desperate for friends of your own. But you should have gone to my brother, because I'm the last person on the fucking planet that you want to associate with. You don't really want to be my friend. You just convinced yourself that it's what I need, and you're doing it to make yourself feel better. But I'm no one's emotional crutch. We have a project to do. And when we're finished, you should do the smart thing and leave me alone."

Feliks still felt angry, but it wasn't entirely directed at Lovino. It was directed at everyone who put those ideas in his head.