The Return And The Apology

Hayden's Pov.

It's been almost six years since I left. Six years is a long time, a lot can change in six years, I have changed a lot. I am no longer the weak kid that needs others to stand up for me, I no longer carry a target on my back, I no longer fear Ally or anyone else for that matter, I am the one that is feared, but now I have to return. My dad thinks it will be good for me, to get me out off and away from what he deems a toxic environment but I don't see it that way. While my dad sees my change as negative, he thinks I have taken a particular turn for the worse recently, I see it as a positive thing, I no longer need protection I can protect myself. So here I am, back where it all started, back at the beginning of my story but this time the story has changed, I just didn't realise how drastically it had changed until I got back.

The school that my dad choose is next to the elementary school, they are all connected and most kids that go to the elementary school, follow through to the middle and then high school. I look towards my old school, the place that held so much fear and take a deep breath before entering the new building, a place with a new beginning tied to it, a place free of fear and full of change. Snotlout immediately jumps on me from behind already excited and rambling about how good it is to have me back. I genuinely smile and start chuckling as I am steered in the direction of the principles office.

He all but shoves me into the room before leaving and I am left smiling at his retreating figure, I will admit that I missed him and his antics. I walk to the front desk and am handed my schedule and ushered back out into the halls to fend for myself. My first class is social studies and as I walk down the never-ending halls in what I hope is the right direction I notice all the curious glances and eyes that follow after me, murmurs and questions and speculations of who I am. The class is easier to find than I thought it would be and as I walk in I scan over the people around me. Everyone looks pretty normal, all sitting in different groups chatting and glancing at me, it seems that I am the new subject of conversation, but there sitting alone in the corner at the back of the class is a girl, her face tilted down while she reads with her hood pulled up hiding her face. The teacher stands and everyone goes silent in anticipation of him announcing who I am.

"Class as you have already noticed we have a new student. Everyone this is Hayden Haddock."

The girls head snaps up in surprise and I am met with all too familiar crystal blue eyes, Ally Hofferson, I wasn't expecting to see her so soon but there she is. She looks completely different, no longer the confident popular girl but rather quiet and shy, no longer talking and gossiping with everyone else but rather alone on the outside looking in. I guess I am not the only one that has changed. The teacher nods towards the backseat and I realise rather abruptly that unfortunately, the only open seat is next to my former tormenter. I take a deep breath determined not to let this affect me. I walk with all the confidence I have and drop down into the seat next to her. I spare her one single glance and whatever is in my eyes scares her enough that she looks away and I try to ignore the fact that she is scared of me, what reason would she have to be scared?

Class begins and ends and my next three lessons are just as uneventful as the first, I truly no longer carry a target on my back in fact it seems people are actually happy to see me, they talk and ask questions and laugh and joke with me, its all so bizarre that come lunchtime I find myself in desperate need of a break which is how I end up in the library. It's mostly empty and the quiet is comforting until I spot her. She's by herself again but this time her hood is down. She is sitting in the corner, head bent reading a book, completely in her own world. I would leave her alone but something urges me forward. I sit down across from her and her head immediately snaps up. I feel a smirk work its way onto my face, this might just be fun.

"Never thought I would see the day that Ally Hofferson would sit alone."

Her gaze drops away and her hair falls forward hiding her face. She seems to hesitate like she isn't totally sure whether she is allowed to or not but when I don't say anything she lifts her head slightly and I am met with pure fear. The only emotion on her face, brewing in her eyes, her entire body seems to scream in fear.

"It's safe here."

I want to ask who she is hiding from but I am afraid I already know the answer. The way she is looking at me tells me everything I need to know, its how I used to look at the world, constantly afraid of the people around me, afraid of the pain they carried around just waiting for the right moment to strike.

"Believe it or not I understand how you feel, believe it or not, I am not here to hurt you."

"Then why are you here?"

"I needed a break from all the questions and stares and I wanted to ask what happened to you?"

"What happened was bound to happen eventually really, karma in it's finest form. I…..I should h..have never picked on you like I did, I know what I did was wrong, the guilt of it all followed me around for two years and while I was stuck in my own head I didn't notice that the people around me were turning on me waiting for me to slip up and well I did. Snotlout accidentally pushed me and while it wasn't much it was enough for them to turn away from me. Here is safe, keeping my head down is safe but it's never really safe and that's what made me finally realize what I had done to you. I took away your safety and I can never apologize enough for what I did to you. I am a monster!"

I am shocked into silence. She just apologized, she actually apologized and she meant it. I know she meant it by the note of panic in her voice and the silver in her eyes from unshed tears. She is the one that got a target slapped to her back when I left, she more than anyone understands my pain and while she may have inflected it she has also paid for it and I know full well how far teenagers can go. I reach across the desk slowly and gently take her hands in mine. Her eyes grow wide at the gentle touch and I have all the proof I need that people have taken things way too far.

"I forgive you, you were mean but never a monster."

She smiles weakly before looking at our hands and I find a smile clawing its way onto my face. This is not how I thought today would go at all. I never thought that I would be able to forgive her but besides for the fact that she is the new target or the fact that she is definitely treated worse than I was, she felt guilty, she feels guilty and for some reason, something inside me automatically wants to comfort her.

"Is it too much to ask for us to maybe try to be friends? Wait never mind why would you want to be friends with me after everything. Forget I said anything."

"Ally I would very much like us to try and be friends."

She smiles at me, it's small and tentative and full of hope and I find myself desperately wanting this to work out and cursing myself for desperately wanting this to work out.