Beca Mitchell stood next to the stage she was about to take to sing three songs. Three songs to introduce herself to the world as DJ Khaled's new opening act. Three songs to kick off her own music songs without the Bellas around, without their harmonies or their voices of play off of. Three songs and then she could head back to her hotel room and come to terms with the pain that came from having to stand alone.
She prepared to be called out on stage. The first song she insisted on even when she got some pushback from Turtle Man.
It was Bruno Mars.
No, not that Bruno Mars song.
She wanted to sing, "When I was Your Man" as a way of freeing herself. Maybe freeing Chloe from the will we or won't we they had fallen into since their senior year ended.
Her eyes closed as she thought back to the few months her senior years they were together. More than friends even if the label didn't really change between them. The long kisses in the middle of the night, the dinners out just the two of them with joined hands above the table, the touching - God she missed being touched by Chloe - were all north of friendship. But she spent so long hiding the internship from Chloe that whatever could have been just wasn't. By the time they healed the Bellas they were back to being best friends - long, pining, stupid best friends.
"Just go out there and show the world who you are, Beca." Theo walked over to her when there was 60 seconds before she would go out there.
"I plan to." Beca looked out at the sea of people.
DJ Khaled came out and introduced her but Beca was trying too hard not to pull a junior year Aubrey Posen to hear what he was saying. As she walked out it was the Bellas in the front row that she focused on.
"Hey, I'm um Beca Mitchell." She said before gesturing to the band to start playing the first song.
Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
Years of living in the same apartment with Chloe, years of sleeping next to her and not being able to touch her the way she wanted, years of being too scared of hurting her again to take a step forward - as she opened the song she looked anywhere but Chloe.
It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should've bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing
But she's dancing with another man
She didn't look at Chloe.
She couldn't.
But the memories of their brief time together filled her mind. Memories of Chloe asking her to go to some party on campus or wanting to make dinner for the two of them and her having to leave because of the radio station or the internship, memories of Chloe just wanting her and her being too scared to fully be in the moment except late at night when she let Chloe touch her the way she couldn't during the day.
My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I'll never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
She closed her eyes as she tried to push through the song. When she opened them again she avoided all of the Bellas as she tried to keep her voice from breaking.
This was as raw as she had ever allowed herself to be in public. She was putting every bit of herself into this song. She needed to finally say all of this even if she couldn't do it with Chloe privately.
It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should've bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing
But she's dancing with another man
She looked at Chloe now.
She had to.
This was her apology after all.
She hadn't at the time, apologized that was. She did for lying about the internship and for not being the kind of co-captain she should have been, for yelling at her at the Lodge, but never quite managed an apology for ending them at their beginning.
She nearly lost it when she saw the tears in Chloe's eyes.
Although it hurts
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know
She felt the tears in her own eyes threatening to spill over her eyelashes as she saw Chloe crying. She didn't expect Chloe to cry as she watched her. Though she felt a bit silly that she hadn't. Chloe was a crier after all and she was singing a song to her letting her know she understood she messed up all those years ago in front of hundreds of people. All while Chloe sat next to the man she may soon be dating. Or at least the man she had been flirting with.
Damn, she needed to think through her plans more.
I hope he buys you flowers
I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours
When he has the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man
The crowd - outside of the Bellas they had no idea what was happening to the singer on stage - cheered as she closed the song.
Her eyes though, they moved back to Chloe to see if the naked apology had been accepted.
Her jaw quivered when Chloe mouthed, "I still love you" to her. She had to clench and unclench her hands to be able to keep from jumping off stage and pulling Chloe into the kiss that she had stopped herself from having with her for years.
When Chloe followed up her declaration of love with a kiss blown her way she turned her head to hide the grin that came to her.
With the band behind her ready for the next song she prepared herself. After both getting the nerves out of her system and her apparent make up with Chloe, she felt a little more confident as she started using the loop machine to lay down some background.
It was easier now. She felt like her chest could expand without the tightness, that her voice was fuller, that she was stronger. As she opened her mouth the words flowed without as hesitation.
Heaven knows I was just a young boy
Didn't know what I wanted to be
I was every little hungry schoolgirl's pride and joy
And I guess it was enough for me
To win the race, a prettier face
Brand new clothes and a big fat place
On your rock and roll TV
But today the way I play the game is not the same, no way
I think I'm gonna get me some happy
She decided about half way through the first verse she didn't want to do this song alone.
The Bellas were her family. They were the ones that helped her go from a surly eighteen year old that didn't want friends and was only in college to appease her father to someone who was more comfortable in her skin, someone who had friends that mattered to her - friends that turned into family.
Stepping forward down the stairs directly in front of the Bellas she reached out her hand to Cynthia-Rose, looking her in the eyes with her lopsided smile. She gestured for the others to join her as she pulled Cynthia-Rose up and on stage.
The Bellas all looked at each other as Chicago, Theo and some of the others sitting in his row gestured for them to head on stage.
I think there's something you should know
(I think it's time I told you so)
There's something deep inside of me
(There's someone else I've got to be)
Take back your picture in a frame
(Take back your singing in the rain)
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man
With the Bellas around her, with Chloe around her, Beca grinned as she sang. This was where she was happiest. This moment was one she knew how to handle, how to play off of her Bellas in a way that made her feel as though she could really do this.
Her eyes found Chloe over and over as she sang. Even though this song wasn't nearly as emotionally impactful as the first she felt something tingling inside of her as the Bellas all fell into their parts without prompting.
Beca watched as Jessica and Ashley held hands - the pair married just over a year ago - they were just about the only friends she would wear pale pink for at a wedding. She watched as Aubrey and Chloe danced together, as Lilly laid the beat down like she always did, as Emily jammed out, as Fat Amy and Cynthia-Rose hammed it up, as Flo danced around with a big smile on her face. The only one really missing was Stacie, home with a knee that had just been surgically repaired. These were her family, no matter if they performed together or not.
All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me, yeah, yeah
Her eyes stayed on Chloe until she felt a hand slipping into hers that wasn't Chloe at all. It was Aubrey.
Aubrey was her first captain and the person who forced her to choose if the Bellas were what she wanted. After her freshman year the two grew closer over group texts and private ones. Even when she and Chloe fell out Aubrey still checked in with her. Aubrey, Chloe, Emily and she might all be Bella captains but Aubrey would always be who the group looked to when she was around. She was who Beca looked to.
Beca squeezed her hand back as a way of saying what she didn't think she could.
Thank you for pushing me.
Thank you for taking me back into the Bellas.
Thank you for being there after you left.
Thank you for becoming my family.
She pulled away from Aubrey and looked at the Bellas all gathered on stage, tears back in her eyes as she prepared to sing the last lines. More meaning in the words than she felt when she read over them a few hours before.
I won't let you down
I will not give you up
Gotta have some faith in the sound
It's the one good thing that I've got
I won't let you down
I will not give you up
It's the one good thing that I've got
The moment the song was over she felt Chloe gather her up in a hug and hold her tight, the mic pressed between them. There were tears running down her cheeks as the roar of the crowd surrounding them before the Bellas did.
"Sing something with me? A duet?" Beca asked Chloe as the Bellas stayed around them.
"Are you sure?" Chloe wanted to make sure this was what Beca wanted. Sharing her moment with the Bellas was one thing but sharing it with her, only with her, was huge.
"Titanium?" Beca asked.
The grin on Chloe's face answered the question for Beca as she moved past the Bellas that were making their way off of the stage to go tell her band about the change to the last song.
Thankfully they knew it. Another mic appeared for Chloe and Beca gave her a smile as the lights went down again.
As the lights came back up Beca brought the mic to her lips. She and Chloe knew this song, they had sung it together before they were together, during their brief time together and since.
Bless their habit of singing in the kitchen at one am really.
You shout it out, but I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud, not saying much
I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet
Shoot me down, but I get up
Every person watching could have left, vanished, beamed up by ET, and Beca and Chloe wouldn't have known it as they watched each other.
Their voices joined together in a way that made a shiver run down Beca's spine when she heard it. She really did love singing with Chloe and this song had always been in their back pockets when they needed it.
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
The pair kept singing. Just to each other. Only to each other. There were conversations that needed to happen, plans that needed to be made, emotional baggage that needed to be unpacked.
Yet here, singing to each other, that all melted away.
Because Beca and Chloe? They had always found a way back to each other. Every disagreement, every fight, every chance to leave the other behind they managed to sidestep and avoid the outcome.
And now in front of the world - or at least those who could see this - they weren't sidestepping a terrible outcome but stepping towards a grad one.
I am titanium
When the crowd got to their feet as the song ended. The Bellas whooping as the rest clapped their hands. Theo moved from his seat when DJ Khaled gestured for him.
But even as the crowd cheered, Beca didn't care, neither did Chloe.
Beca's hand slid into Chloe's as she turned and guided Chloe off stage. She needed to be out of the eye line of the world to have a moment with Chloe.
"I don't want to pretend you aren't the most important person in my life anymore." Beca looked into Chloe's eyes.
"I don't want to stop myself from reaching for you - in or out of bed - anymore." Chloe held tight to her hand in Beca's right.
"Our timing has never been great but this isn't like before." Beca lifted her left hand hand up to tuck a bit of hair behind Chloe's ear. She cupped her cheek, grinning when Chloe tilted her head against her palm.
"I love you. We're going to do this for real this time if we do this. And I really - really - want to do this." Chloe brought her forehead down to press to Beca's.
Before Beca could reply Theo was at her side.
"A word, Beca?" He requested.
Beca bit back a reply that would have gotten any future prospects for her career tossed in the trash. She had to at least play partly nice with Turtle man for the moment.
"What?" Beca asked after they stepped away from Chloe.
"DJ Khaled was impressed by your stunts. Both of them." Theo crossed his arms over his chest. "He wants you to make you two a duo instead of having you as a solo act for the tour."
Beca thought she was having a heart attack with how hard her heart was pounding in her chest at the news.
"Don't disappoint him. DJ Khaled took a chance on you, and pulling the Bellas up was one thing but doing a duet like that?" Theo shook his head. "Make sure she goes on tour. He is insisting."
"Yeah, she'll go." Beca promised even if she knew she couldn't really promise that.
As Beca walked back over to Chloe she felt nervous again. "Can we talk?" She asked, threading her fingers back with Chloe's.
"We didn't get you in trouble, did we?" Chloe asked.
"No." Beca promised. "DJ Khaled wants you to go on tour with me. To make us a duo instead of me a solo act. I guess us doing Titanium really impressed him." She didn't look into Chloe's eyes. She didn't want to hear her say she couldn't.
"That's amazing! Of course I'll go on the road with you." Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca's waist, her excitement palpable.
"What about vet school and growing up, all of that stuff you said?" Beca asked nervously.
"Choosing you, choosing us? Getting to sing professionally with you? Beca that is growing up and moving on with my life." Chloe reassured her.
Beca pressed their foreheads together before she shifted her head, kissing Chloe for the first time in years. It was over too fast but they were still in public.
"We make a good duo." Beca whispered, hands holding right to Chloe's hips.
"We make the best duo." Chloe corrected.