Thanks to and apurehetalian for reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

Chapter 17

Lovino tiredly opened his eyes when he heard the alarm go off. He was getting tired of waking up like this. He was also tired of being tired.

He waited for a short time before he got up, silencing the alarm. He didn't want to deal with his father at the moment. He didn't want to deal with his father at all for the next few days. For the rest of his life.

Lovino got changed, and when he was finished, he sat down on the bed again. He closed his eyes, feeling a bit dizzy, and he wondered if it was because he was eating less lately. Most days, his only meal was breakfast, and even then, he didn't eat a lot.

He wouldn't have long to live, so he didn't particularly care.

When he heard his father's approach, he stood up and left the room. He didn't even look in his father's direction as the older Italian came to a stop, before turning around to return to the kitchen. Lovino closed his eyes and sighed. His father wouldn't even give him a biting remark.

He ate his breakfast quickly, his back turned towards his family. He only heard Feliciano's and his father's voices. Marcello was oddly quiet. He was almost sure that he could feel his youngest brother's eyes on his back.

Marcello joined him again on the bus, and once again, Lovino didn't acknowledge his brother. Though he did flinch in surprise when Marcello leaned his head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, fratello," Marcello said.

Lovino didn't know what Marcello was apologising for, and he didn't ask. He kept his eyes outside the window, keeping his injured wrist close to his body. He'd pulled down the sleeve to hide the fact that he was wearing a wrist guard, and thus to hide the fact that the wrist was injured.

"Fratello, you need to make sure that Feliks is with you at all times," Marcello said in a low voice. "I'm worried that they might attack you again if you're alone."

"Si," Lovino said quietly. "They will. They're angry. They'll blame me for the detention of yesterday."

Marcello was silent for a moment.

"That's my fault, isn't it?" he asked.

Lovino didn't answer, and the rest of the bus ride was done in silence between the two brothers.

…

Lovino didn't pay much attention in class, only listening occasionally. He took note of a mathematics test on Friday, but he didn't particularly care about it. He would die on Friday, and the result of the test wouldn't matter.

Everything went by in a blur, and before he realised it, lunch had arrived. He flinched when Feliks grabbed his arm.

"Like, are you okay?" Feliks asked. "You look pale."

"I'm just tired," Lovino sighed.

Feliks lowered his gaze, before looking up at Lovino again.

"Like, if there's anything that bothers you, please, tell me," Feliks said. "Anyway, we should probably get going."

Lovino stared at Feliks for a moment before he sighed. Feliks hadn't let him out of his sight today, and he wondered if Marcello said anything to him.

Lovino said nothing as he started making his way to the library, Feliks following behind him. It wasn't long before Feliks walked beside him, and he noticed the frown on his face.

"Like, your limp got worse," Feliks said.

"Shit," Lovino muttered, trying to adjust the way he was walking to hide the limp. However, this only brought on more pain, and his face twisted to reflect the increased pain.

"Like, I think you need crutches," Feliks said, his tone growing more worried.

"I'll be fine," Lovino snapped. "Please, just leave me alone."

Feliks stepped out in front of Lovino, forcing the Italian to stop.

"Vino, I'm totally worried about you," he said. "Please, talk to me if something is wrong. Don't push me away."

"I'm doing it for your own good!" Lovino snapped. "Please… just leave me alone. Go save your reputation. Everyone would be happy when they stop seeing you with me."

"Not everyone," Feliks said. "Feliciano and Marcello won't be."

Lovino shook his head, and the next breath he took sounded more like a sob. He closed his eyes, feeling the tears sting his eyes.

"Please," Lovino whispered. "You'll just get hurt. Please…"

He felt Feliks place his hand on his arm, and he flinched at the contact.

"Vino, you're forgetting something important," Feliks said gently. "I know how you feel. I've been there too, remember? I know what it feels like to feel that everyone would be better without having you around. But I'm telling you what I forgot: People are there for you. For someone, you're the most precious person in their lives. Don't take yourself away from them."

Lovino just shook his head, and Feliks pulled him into a hug. He didn't hug back, but he didn't push the other male away. He could feel Feliks rub circles on his back, and he felt that this was just cruel. Days before he was going to join his mother in the afterlife, and life tried to give him someone that treated him like a friend. All his life, he had to be without a companion, or a companion that was only using him, and now he was given someone like Feliks, who knew more about him than anyone else ever knew, and who still insisted on being with Lovino. It was unfair. It was unfair to Feliks. Lovino could tell that he was putting his heart into trying to fix Lovino, but it was too late. Lovino was beyond repair.

Eventually, Lovino pulled away, and he continued on his way to the library, Feliks walking dutifully with him.

…

Feliks watched Lovino, taking a break from his homework every now and again to do so. He wasn't an avid reader like Lovino, but figured that the library time was a good time to do homework.

Something was seriously wrong with Lovino. It was like the fire in his soul was completely extinguished. And Feliks could clearly see how pale he was, as well as the dark circles surrounding his eyes.

He wanted to ask what was bothering him, and he wanted to demand an answer, but he knew from experience that Lovino wouldn't say anything. And considering the apparent gravity of what was weighing on his mind, Feliks was terrified of what it could be. He was terrified because he could see that Lovino was suffering, but he had no idea how to help.

Further reason for him to worry was the fact that Lovino hadn't turned the page in five minutes already. He was simply staring at the page in front of him, and Feliks couldn't even see his eyes moving from side to side.

Pursing his lips, Feliks stood, going to the librarian. She smiled when she saw him.

"Is there anything I can help with?" she asked.

"Are there any self-help books or something?" he asked.

She did a quick search on her computer, before nodding her head.

"From number 521 to 530," she said.

"Thank you," he said, before searching for the shelves in question.

Finding the shelves wasn't a problem – finding the book was. Feliks scanned the titles, trying to find anything regarding depression or suicidal thoughts, and just when he found the right book, the bell rang to signify that the next period was starting. He groaned, before pulling the book out slightly. He would return after school to check it out, and he would have to explain to his mother that that was the reason why he was late.

He quickly returned to Lovino's location, seeing that the Italian was preparing to go. Feliks quickly went to pack his things, but Lovino didn't wait for him. It took him a moment to realise that it wouldn't have mattered. Lovino's limp was slowing him down.

Feliks caught up with Lovino, and he stared at the Italian's feet.

"What exactly happened to your leg?" he asked.

"I told you," he said. "I sprained my ankle."

"How?"

"How do you think? I stepped funny, it bent to the side. That's it."

"Is it?"

Lovino was silent for a moment, before he sighed.

"They were chasing me," he admitted in a whisper. "And when I was trying to get away, my ankle twisted."

"What happened after that?" he asked.

"Use your imagination," Lovino said.

Feliks sighed. There was no reason for Lovino to spell it out. Feliks knew what happened. What always happened when someone was cornered by their bullies, with no one that could possibly interfere.

"Like, how is everyone in this school too stupid to see what's right in front of them?" Feliks complained.

This actually earned a small twitch of the mouth from Lovino, but it was soon gone.

"It's because it's easier for them to hate me," Lovino whispered.

…

Lovino was in his last class, copying the notes from the board when he realised that he could no longer make out the notes. Everything was blurry, and he shook his head to help clear the fog, but it didn't help. He couldn't see the words on the board, and he couldn't see the words on the page in front of him.

He closed his eyes, knowing that it was because of the dizziness. In fact, he could feel himself sway a few times, though he knew that he was sitting perfectly still. When he opened his eyes again, he even noted that there were a few black spots in his vision.

He immediately folded his arms and rested his head on them, closing his eyes. He didn't particularly care about copying the notes anymore. They were useless to him anyway.

"Sir!" one of the others called the teacher. "Lovino is sleeping!"

There were snickers all around, and the teacher approached. Lovino sighed, raising his head, only to grab onto the desk as he felt a wave of dizziness crash over him.

"What is it now, Vargas?" the teacher asked tiredly.

"Dizzy," Lovino said absently.

The teacher leaned closer, peering into his face. Lovino avoided the man's eyes.

"You do look a bit pale," the man said. "Do you think you should go to the nurse's office?"

Lovino figured he probably should, but he didn't particularly want to. So he just shrugged.

"Would someone be willing to take him to the nurse's office?" the teacher asked.

"I will!" a familiar voice said, making Lovino shudder.

"No," he said immediately. "Not him."

"I have to agree with Vargas on this one," the teacher sighed. "Considering the amount of fights between you I've interrupted, I'm not going to leave him alone with you, Carriedo."

Lovino sighed in relief. A teacher that used his head for a change.

"I'll go," another familiar voice said, but this one didn't make Lovino fear for his life.

"Thank you, Honda," the teacher said.

Lovino allowed Kiku to help him up, before he was forced to rely on the Japanese a bit more. His vision blacked out a bit, and his body felt too heavy for him. Kiku thankfully managed to hold onto him.

"He's clearly faking," Gilbert said.

"Unless he pushed his face in a bag of flour, I highly doubt it," the teacher said.

Lovino took a moment to right himself, and Kiku helped him out of class. He shook his head, feeling a bit better, but he still relied on Kiku's support.

"Have you eaten at lunch?" Kiku asked.

"I never eat at lunch," Lovino said.

"…I know that you're not in the cafeteria, but… you don't bring something along?"

Lovino shrugged.

"I'm used to not eating lunch," he said.

"…Did you eat breakfast?" Kiku asked.

"Si."

"How much?"

Again, Lovino shrugged.

"…Your blood sugar is too low," Kiku said at last. "You need to eat something."

"Probably," Lovino said disinterestedly.

The rest of the trip to the nurse's office was in silence, and when they reached it, Kiku knocked on the door, before entering.

The nurse looked up from her paperwork when they entered, but when she saw Lovino she frowned.

"What is it now, Vargas?" she asked tiredly.

"He almost fainted in class," Kiku explained. "I think it's low blood sugar."

She sighed, grabbing a device. She gestured to the chair in front of her desk, and Kiku helped Lovino sit down.

She took a small sample of his blood, Lovino making sure that it came from his left hand. When she saw the result her eyes widened, and instead of annoyance, her face was a mask of concern.

"Vargas, how are you still awake?!" she cried out. She turned to Kiku. "You know where the vending machine is. Get him a chocolate bar and an energy drink."

She quickly pulled out money from her wallet, before handing it to Kiku. The Japanese male immediately ran off.

Through the fog of dizziness, Lovino couldn't help the confusion ringing through him. The nurse had always been dismissive of him, and always looked as though she thought she had better things to do than her job when it came to Lovino. So, seeing her so concerned about him was a surprise.

While they were waiting for Kiku, she went to the tap and poured some water. Lovino saw her mixing in some sugar, before she brought it to him.

"Until he comes back, I want you to sip this," she said. "Slow sips, please."

Lovino nodded, before he took the glass. He did as the nurse asked, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention to himself. She signed his name into the ledger, and he sighed. Well, at least he had evidence that he wasn't skipping class.

Kiku returned when the glass was half empty, and under the watchful eyes of the nurse, Lovino ate the chocolate bar and drank the drink. But he could tell that something was wrong. His stomach seemed upset by the unexpected additions.

"Thank you," the nurse said, nodding to Kiku. "Go back to class. Vargas, get into a bed."

Lovino nodded, before he went to obey her order. There wasn't much of the period left, but he could use the rest. He closed his eyes, still unable to ignore the sensation that he was falling.

He wasn't sure how long he was lying there, but soon he was shaken awake. He opened his eyes to see Feliciano and Marcello standing there, looking at him in concern.

"Ciao fratello," Feliciano said, his voice not as cheerful as normal. "Kiku told me that you almost fainted."

"Come on," Marcello said. "We'll miss the bus. I asked Camille to tell the driver to wait."

Lovino nodded his head, and he allowed his brothers to help him up. Feliciano handed him his bag, and Lovino looked down at it in confusion.

"Ve, Kiku helped pack it up and gave it to me," Feliciano said.

"Tell him 'grazie' from me," Lovino said.

He would probably need to see if anything had been removed from or deposited into his bag. He might have trusted Feliciano's friend not to do anything, but there were other classmates as well. Classmates who couldn't be trusted.

They walked to the bus together, neither Feliciano nor Marcello trying to support him, but nearby in case he needed support. They knew that he wouldn't like it if they were trying to force him along. Lovino was actually grateful for that. He knew that Marcello was aware of the limp, and he also knew about his wrist. Marcello must have figured out that Lovino was in too much pain to want to be touched. But… Did Marcello inform Feliciano?

On the bus, his brothers continued to surprise him by sitting on either side of him. It felt… nice.

It was unfair. He'd spent ten years with no one that cared about him, and now he's being shown so much kindness. Ten years without it, and now it was being shoved down his throat. Just when he had resolved himself to die.

But the universe couldn't convince him to keep living. Because as soon as he decided that he would give life a chance, he knew that things would go back to normal. Feliciano would continue to be oblivious, and Marcello would return to being afraid of him. And the person that tried to be his friend would decide that it wasn't worth the effort.

He wouldn't let that happen again.

As soon as they arrived home, Feliciano turned to him with a small smile.

"Ve, are you hungry Lovino?" he asked.

Lovino wanted to deny it. He wanted to say that he was fine. But he knew that if he didn't get something in his stomach, then he would only make things worse for himself.

"A bit," he admitted at last.

Feliciano nodded with a sad smile.

"I'll go make something for you," he said, rushing to the kitchen.

…

Feliks was reading the book he checked out after school. He'd sent his mom a quick text to explain why he was taking so long, but he really needed this book. He needed to help Lovino. And it might also help him as well.

He took a sip of water, wincing a bit. Ever since his bath earlier, he felt a bit nauseous. He had no idea what it could have been.

But when he felt a spike, he knew that it wasn't just nausea. He needed to run to the bathroom. He made it just in time, before depositing the contents of his stomach in the toilet. It didn't taste so nice the second time around.

His mother was soon at his side, rubbing circles on his back. When it was done, she gave him something to settle his stomach, and sent him to bed.

But after two hours, he was awoken again, and he had to run again. And yet again, his mother gave him something for the nausea. Only for him to throw it up an hour later.

Needless to say, he wasn't going to school the next day.

I need Feliks out of the way for the next day, and I spent some time trying to think of a good reason why he would be absent. A 24-hour stomach bug answered the question for me. Why is it the best ideas for authors come from the worst circumstances?