Note: Hi there friend,
Hows life? good? coolcool...Well I'm sorry, I'm about to ruin your day.
So, similar to chapter 4, I would like to put a warning at the top saying that this chapter deals with some dark themes. More specifically this one deals with abuse and sexual assault. I have tired very hard to make this chapter not grotesque, jarring, or feel out of place, but there is specifically one scene that is in the moment and that could be really hard for some people to deal with. As a survivor of sexual assault and domestic abuse I know how hard this topic can be to talk about or read about, so if you would like to skip it I understand 100%. For reference it is the 4th scene and I have labeled the start of that scene with a 4.
Now I would like to say if you are in a situation of domestic abuse (with any gender) please seek out local help. No one deserves this. No matter what is said You. Do. Not. Deserve. This. Period.
With lots of love, here's the chapter,
-J
Chapter Seven
"This is a horrible plan," Sinfi deadpanned, causing Mordecai to laugh slightly. She was currently shackled by her wrists and being led by her brother towards the Emperor's castle in Oarsport, the capital of Ejasia. People they passed on the streets kept taking a second glance back towards the pair. She was dressed in only her ceremonial silks, which left little to the imagination.
"We have good intel, though," he lightheartedly argued. "Emperor Robard prefers the company of others instead of his Empress. He has a taste for exotic women and is partial to slavery to find what he's looking for. Making you the perfect little morsel," Mordecai gave her a joking wink.
"Oh, lucky me," Sinfi rolled her eyes. "Stop acting like you're having fun with this," she growled softly, causing Mordecai's smile to widen.
"Having fun while fake selling my little sister to a perverted old human in order for you to gain his trust and whisper into his ear to swing politics into the direction we want?" he raised an eyebrow and pulled harder on the chains leading her to the castle. "I would never."
"Cai, this is demeaning," Sinfi argued quietly.
"Well... yes, yes it is," Mordecai sighed as he stopped in his tracks and cupped her chin in his hands. "But, Sinfi think of the good we could do with you and your … charms," he wagged his eyebrows at her.
"Ew," Sinfi's face contorted slightly. "I may have just vomited a little when you said that."
They were closing in on the palace, pristine white stone walls rising from the dusty and grime covered streets. This was to be Sinfi's first long term mission, designed entirely to influence their world and betterment of the common. Rumors floated around that the Emperor's previous concubine was no longer involved in the palace affairs. The Vistani troupe realized this was an opening for actual change, and Singi was the key. She was ready. It would be difficult, but she was a Moon and, like her mother and grandmother before her, Sinfi would succeed in every area required in their line of succession. She had to.
No one in the City of Secrets had been sure what had happened to the previous concubine. Some said the Air Genasi had fallen out of favor with the Emperor. Other whispers hinted that she had become pregnant and the Empress, out of fear for her current standing with the Emperor, had the concubine assassinated in order for her daughters to stay the next in line for the throne. Others said it may have been the Emperor himself who strangled the girl. Then there were some who simply stated she had run away in the middle of the night and back to her homeland. In the end though, the missing concubine was a mystery that even the City of Secrets couldn't figure out.
Luckily though, the Vistani had secured communications with the Emperor. They had posed as slavers, saying that they had a unique individual who they felt the emperor would find interesting and could potentially fill the new vacancy. The story was simple; she was a peasant girl who wanted better for her family, so she sold herself. The Emperor was interested. All that was to be left was for her inspected by his majesty.
The ruse may have been all for noble reasons, for the betterment of Ejasia, but the idea of posing as a simple peasant girl selling herself into servitude had been unsettling to Sinfi. Their people had known chains once, while some Vistani clans still did. The fact that she had to be in them now, and then pretend to be someone's plaything, was both terrifying and degrading. The only thing that stopped Sinfi from refusing the mission, was the fact that this ruse was far too close to everyday life.
As much as Sinfi loved the country she had claimed as her home base, Ejasia unfortunately had many issues. As much as they tried to hide it, the slave trade was still very prevalent. There weren't open auctions or anything obvious on the main levels of the city, but in the dark underbelly of the city, anything or anyone had a price.
On top of the fake veneer that Ejasia liked to put forward, the wealth disparity was at an all time high. The higher classes seemed to get wealthier upon the backs of the low and enslaved classes. The likelihood of anything between wealth and poverty was rare. Unfortunately, some found it to be an even better financial option for their family to sell themselves into enslavement to the royal family or one of the high borne. At least in that situation, the family would be compensated enough to give them a year or two of food in their bellies and a roof over their heads.
Unlike the common person though, Sinfi knew she could worm her way into the Emperor's ear. She would be able to turn him into her puppet and do some good for the world around them. Maybe with enough time even help end the system of chains forever in her home away from the Vistani.
Sinfi shook her head slightly, trying to clear her mind before going into the castle. She was good at magical defenses into her mind, but there was always a worry of a spell of mind reading. A distracted mind was easy to weasel into, and in this situation, it could be costly. Sinfi glanced at her brother, he had already shifted into the magical disguise making himself appear as human, non-descriptive brown eyes looked over towards her and gave her a wink.
"You will do great," he said, trying to comfort her. "These chains will be gone shortly and you will excel in your task." She nodded slowly as he put his hand to her cheek.
"Then, before you know it, you'll be back with the Vistani and yelling at me for snoring." They laughed softly and smiled at one another. Sinfi's eyes turned serious for a moment.
"How… long will I be on this mission?" She asked softly, Mordecai froze before taking in a deep breath.
"Once you can get the slave trade abolished then we can discuss your extraction," Mordecai took her hands into his, "I know it's not ideal to not have a time line or an end date… but you'll be doing good for the people of Ejasia. You'll be a hero, Sinfi."
Silence filled the space as the word sank in. there was no end date, there was no extraction plan. She was to stay until her goal was achieved whether that took months or years. This was her duty to her people, this was her place as dictated by the Threads of Fate, and she would do as she was commanded.
"Well," Sinfi started slowly before looking back up to Mordecai with a smile, "Just because I'll be gone doesn't mean you can use my stuff,"
"Nonsense, it's all mine now," Mordecai started walking, dragging her behind him. "You'll be the Royal Concubine anyway, you'll get better stuff."
Sinfi stood in the throne room with her head bowed and staring at the floor. She could play the part of the good and pretty peasant girl. Yes sir, no sir, I'd like that very much sir was all she had parroted when asked a direct question.
She had counted five sets of eyes on her; the Emperor seated on the dais in front of her, three royal guards placed strategically at the different exits and entrances, and their spymaster was hiding in the shadows behind her. Sinfi had felt two attempts, and failures, of magical probes into her mind. She could easily just assassinate him right now, do the Empress and their children a favor to be rid of him. After all, their marriage and children had all been arranged entirely for political gain. But that was not the task, and this mission needed more tact then what she wanted to do.
"As promised, she is quite the docile creature," Mordecai said, the telltale Vistani accent missing and replaced with a cool northern lands accent. "She is also quite… limber."
"So she has been trained in what I'm looking for?" the man in front of them asked.
"Yes," Mordecai gave a tight smile. Sinfi wanted to throw up. Mordecai may have been a great actor, but she knew he felt a similar way. They may have made jabs at the others personal affairs, but this was different than sibling jabs. Whatever this was, neither of them wanted.
"She is quite striking," Emperor Robard's voice reverberated in the hall. Sinfi heard the throne creak as he got up and walked towards her. Cold fingers gripped her chin tightly and brought Sinfi's face up to examine her as if she was a race horse to be sold and traded.
The man tilted her face back and forth under the light. "Such a unique color," he whispered softly. Sinfi held back every bit of emotion. She wanted to headbutt him, wrap this chain around his neck and pull as he reeled from the attack. She wanted to attack and then run. Yet she stood there, silently glancing away and forced a blush to rise to her cheeks, feigning bashfulness at the 'compliment'.
At one time, the Emperor would have been considered handsome, green eyes paired with dark brown hair, and a nice jawline. But years of feasts and sedentary life had caught up to him, making him portly around the middle and the, once chiseled, jaw was now hidden under a well trimmed beard and a layer of fat. Brown hair had started to grey and thin around the peak of his head while the green eyes seemed to dull from the boredom of a monotonous life.
"How much?" Robard asked quickly and looked over towards the human version of Mordecai. He gave the king a slick smile, the Emperor had been sold on her the moment she walked in but now the deal was truly in reach.
"Originally, we were asking for 3,000 gold for her as she is quite exotic and unique-"
"Fine," Emperor Robard said without another thought and waved Mordecai away. "You may leave and bring the bill to my right hand for payment."
Mordecai gave the Emperor a low bow and quickly glanced towards Sinfi. She heard his voice slip into her mind.
"You'll succeed, we have a contact in the servants who will pass along messages." There was a slight pause, "I'll miss you and wait for the day you return to us." She swore she could feel him press his horns against hers. It was their version of hello, goodbye, and everything in between. She imagined returning the motivation, hoping it was received as he walked out of the chambers.
The cool hands gripped her waist and slowly roamed lower as her mind was ripped back to the here and now.
"The Empress is currently at the southern summer castle for the season. You two will be on alternating schedules to alleviate any … tensions," the Emperor explained slowly, a smile graced his lips, and all Sinfi could see in her mind's eye was a viper ready to strike. The feeling of nausea rolled over Sinfi once more as reality crashed into her. A throat cleared and Robard looked towards the spymaster, frustration evident in his eyes, "Yes, yes I must perform my actual duties before getting acquainted with you. First Lieutenant."
A man in half plate walked towards them, one hand on the pommel of his greatsword as he bowed slightly before standing back at attention, "Yes sire."
"Take this enchanting creature up to the royal chambers," a dark chuckle fell from his lips. "And leave the shackles on for now."
With that, the Emperor turned and walked towards the spymaster, the pair leaving the great hall and towards their next commitment. Sinfi and the Lieutenant stood next to one another, neither looking towards the other as the words sank in.
Sinfi focused on continuing breathing, counting down the seconds until she felt calm wash over her. She took a quick glance towards her new companion. Blond hair was disheveled as hazel eyes stared at the cold marble floors. He was tall for a human, she would guess six foot five. He had the stance of a man who had seen a fight or two. Maybe not as a soldier, but as a kid on the streets? His body was built like he had seen manual labor. She couldn't help but wonder, had this man always wanted to be in the army or was this just a means to an end for poverty? Did he want to be the knight in fairy tales, or did this man find himself here because there was a warm bed and food on the table?
"I-He.." the man started. "My name is Lieutenant Brennan," quickly, he bowed to her, his fist lightly smacked the half plate as he pressed it against his heart. He stayed in his formal bow for a moment before helping gather the majority of the chains.
"If you could come this way Mistress," he motioned to a small door to the side.
"It's not like I have a choice," Sinfi joked with a half smile. His neck turned slightly pink in embarrassment at the slight faux pas.
"Yes, right." Brennan said glancing down at her wrists, they were already slightly red from the metal. A look of concern crossed his shifting sands that were his hazel eyes.
"Don't worry," Sinfi said quietly for only him to hear. "Not the first time I've been tied up" she gave him a quick wink and watched his cheeks go red.
Something inside Sinfi liked making him turn different shades of pink.
"You know, this would be more enjoyable if you at least responded back," Sinfi said tiredly as she glanced over to the silent blond haired and hazel eyed guard that she had become accustomed to.
He eyed her, but said nothing.
"Fine," she grumbled under her breath. "Be that way."
Lieutenant Brennan had quickly been assigned to Sinfi as her personal guard. Which she had decided was just a fancy title for watchdog. A tool to make sure the new expensive plaything didn't run away. Day in and day out, Brennan was her silent shadow following her through the gardens, bazaar, or any other place her heart fancied to go. The Lieutenant was there the moment she opened her door in the morning until the end of the day when she would be beckoned for by the perverted old man. Today was no exception from the routine that she had started to, unfortunately, become accustomed to.
At first, Sinfi couldn't decide if Brennan had been assigned to her because he was a good soldier to protect the Emperor's new toy, or if it was because he followed orders. Had he been assigned to others in her predicament, or was this a new situation for the lieutenant? After three weeks had passed, she discovered why he was picked. When he saw the bruising and raw flesh hidden under her bangles, the answer has been relatively simple all along.
Lieutenant Brennan didn't ask questions.
His eyes had caught the bruising. Stared at the marred flesh for a few moments, and then he looked away without uttering a word. Cheeks aflame, knowing exactly what had caused the injury, but no words said. No questions, no worried look that caught her eye, no supportive comment, just silence. Instead, Brennan straightened up, focused his eyes forward, and they continued their stroll through the palace gardens.
Luckily for Sinfi, the marred flesh and nightly acts that made her filled with disgust, either for herself or the emperor, weren't for nothing. Emperor Robard had a nasty habit of drinking too much wine around her, quickly taking what he wanted, and then passing out after releasing her from her bindings. This left Sinfi time to meander around the royal chambers, looking through the scattered papers on the different surfaces, at her leisure, as the old king snored, covering any sound she made.
New legislation, proposals for alliances with foreign powers, plotting for ambush attacks against smaller city states on the outskirts of the empire were all laid out for her without hesitation. War strategies against the east were all there for the taking. After all, she was just a simple peasant girl in his eyes, she might not even know how to read, considering the lack of education for the lower classes. Sinfi was not that, though. Instead, she memorized every note of interest and juicy tidbit, sending notes with different kitchen staff back to the Vistani. Everything was useful, if not for the betterment of the empire, then the information could be sold at a premium in the Market of Secrets.
Sinfi sighed softly as they rounded the last corner of the maze of flowers. She may have been allowed to roam the grounds and the city, but every step she took she could feel the weight of the enchanted golden anklet that was affixed to her left ankle. It showed her status as property and drained her of any magic. It was a known truth that enslaved magic users were dangerous. They could hurt their owners with little effort. Because of this, it had become common practice to just cut them from their abilities with one small enchantment. She was cut off from her powers and, like one would do with cattle, she was branded as his and his alone. Sinfi couldn't help but wonder some nights; she knew she was doing good work for the people, but at what cost?
"Shall we do another round, or go somewhere else?" Sinfi asked the shadow, tired of her own circle of thoughts.
Silence.
"I must confess, I'm starting to tire of the bazaar. There was nothing interesting there yesterday or the day before," she continued as she shifted her hair off her neck. The midday sun beat down upon them.
Silence. She eyed the man up and down, he was wearing his uniform of half plate, beads of sweat dripping down the side of his face.
"If you keep all of that on you'll be cooked alive," she said softly. He eyed her silently. "If you need to strip some layers off, then by all means."
"I'm fine, thank you, Mistress."
"Oh, so you can still speak after all? I was starting to worry," she eyed him, a grin slowly spreading on her lips. "You're right though, you do look fine, but not in the way you think."
Pink rose on his cheeks as he looked to the ground quickly. Sinfi couldn't help but bite her lip and smirk at his reaction.
"I- um. I'm not… sure-" Their eyes caught quickly and Sinfi couldn't help but feel her stomach flip slightly.
"To be fair," Sinfi interrupted him quietly as she walked closer, hips intentionally swaying slow and wide. "I think you might look even better without all of the armor," she gave him a wink, causing the blush to deepen. He stood there, his voice failing him and he tried to mouth words in response.
She liked the way he looked when he was embarrassed.
4
The sound of the slap reverberated in the bed chamber. Sinfi fell to the floor as colors danced across her vision. A burst of pain radiated from her jaw. Cautiously, she touched the tender area. Luckily, it hadn't been dislocated this time but, as Sinfi eyed the emperor's ornamental golden gauntlets, it easily could have been. No matter what though, it would leave a mark by morning light.
"I saw the way you looked at him," the older man slurred as he lumbered towards Sinfi. Green eyes burning bright in the darkness in the chambers. The pungent smell of wine filled the room. She watched the Emporer take a swig from the open bottle he clutched onto. He gripped the neck tight enough she worried it would break in his hand. There had already been one empty bottle discarded to the side when Sinfi had walked in and Robard was already through the majority of the second.
Normally, when Sinfi came into the room, he was warm and jovial, slightly intoxicated, but she had come to expect that now. Candlelight normally illuminated the room and the emperor would be stripped down from his finery. Tonight though, he had been cold and still dressed in the fur lined cape and showy armor. He had sat in the darkness waiting for her, already worked up into a rage she could not squelch this time.
"Darling, I don't understand what you're talking about," she stammered quickly, trying to piece together what he was referring too.
In the month she had spent in the castle, Sinfi knew three truths: Emperor Robard was jealous, when he became jealous he became angry, and when he became angry, he became violent towards anyone in the war path. Whispers spread between the servants about the retribution he would inflict if Robard felt crossed by the people below him. Black eyes and other bruising were a common occurrence between the staff and slaves. Eyes would glance at the injury but then look away quickly, but no one talked about it. Robard, like his father and his grandfather before him, believed a hard hand was necessary when dealing with servants.
"You and the ambassador," the man grumbled before taking another swig from the dark bottle. Sinfi felt her back hit the wall. Robard's speed was slow, but he continued to stalk closer and closer to her. There was nowhere else to run. Warning bells rang in Sinfi's head as she scanned the area, looking for anything that could be a weapon in self defense. There were none. "I saw the way his eyes ravaged your body and you allowed it. You allowed him to look at you like you were a common, fucking whore!" The words were harsh and with every word, his voice seemed to raise even more until he was shouting.
The Emperor threw the almost empty bottle towards her. Her arms quickly rose, covering her face as she braced for impact. His aim was off and she felt it hit the wall right above her right horn, the glass shattered above her head. Green glass and red wine cascaded onto her.
"Sire, I didn't mean-," Sinfi couldn't help the whimper as his hand reached out and clenched around her throat. He pulled her off the ground, bare feet kicking the air helplessly as she was lifted above the ground. She didn't have her daggers, and the magic was trapped inside her. There was no way out. This was it.
Air. She needed air. Pointed nails clawed at gold. Desperate. Please, her eyes begged. Please, air…need...
"Well, if you want to be treated like a common whore," the emperor's voice was husky as he whispered into her ear. In a single heartbeat she was slammed against the writing desk. More pain blossomed around her ribs and her shoulder. Quickly, he let go of her neck as he pressed her face hard against the marble surface, air rushed into her lungs as she greedily gulped the substance. "Then so be it."
Fabric ripped. Sinfi closed her eyes and refused to remember the rest.
Sinfi spent the next few days in bed, refusing to leave the safety of the goose feather comforter wrapped tightly around her. It was the middle of the summer season but cold had seeped deep into her bones. Every inch of her body hurt with the slightest pressure or movement. Bruising had quickly blossomed and spread across all areas of her body. Nasty purples and greens covered the damage. A healer had since come and gone. She had looked over Sinfi with knowing eyes and simply said all she needed was rest for the next few weeks. Nothing strenuous and then Sinfi would be right as rain. The Emperor had luckily listened and did not call on her, but gifts were sent in his place. The finest jewelry and clothing littered her chambers, trinkets from lands far away from the empire, along with rare sweets. He was trying to buy her forgiveness or her silence.
No matter what was sent, Sinfi didn't leave the bed. She laid there in the dark, staring at the wall as silent tears ran down her cheeks in constant streams. She wished her siblings were here. She wished she was back with the Vistani. She wished she had never been picked for this mission. But most of all, she wished for the pain to end.
Sinfi heard him clear his throat, but didn't move from her spot.
"Mistress," the Lieutenant said softly. Sinfi hadn't even heard him come in. The spy had been so distracted, she didn't hear the clanking of his half plate uniform. "The flowers in the garden look nice today. I thought you might want to go on a walk."
Silence.
"I heard from some other soldiers that travelers from west of the empire have arrived in the bazaar."
Silence.
"They have these little pastry... things... filled with meat. They're spicy but also minty. Also, there are these figs filled with cheese," he paused. "Sounds interesting… I thought you might like to see it."
Silence.
"I- don't.." he paused, his voice was soft. "I don't want to see you like this anymore. I don't know what to do."
"Be a good soldier and don't think about it, Lieutenant," Sinfi croaked out, voice hoarse from a mixture of sobs and lack of use. Brennan went silent.
"I can't," his voice was pained. "I carried you back that night. I saw... You shouldn't have to... I couldn't help but think about what if that happened to my little sister…"
Silence.
"What kind of man would I be if I stood there doing nothing?" his voice was like a whisper, heartbreak filling his voice.
Sinfi let herself roll to the other side and pushed herself up, slowly. Pain blossomed throughout her body and she let out hiss as it flashed through her nervous system. It was everywhere and nowhere all at once. His hands were on her arm, helping her sit upright and she leaned on him when it was too intense. Their eyes caught, hazel eyes filled with worry as he looked her over. She knew the bruising was still bad. Sinfi didn't need his eyes to tell her that.
"Lieutenant," she whispered softly. "If you did anything, it would be treason. It's best if you stay out of it."
"Mistress-"
"My name is Sinfi."
"Sinfi," he tried quietly, a faint smile on his lips. "You need someone in this at least, a friend maybe."
"Lieutenant-"
"My name is Eric," he smiled and she couldn't help but smile sadly at him.
She liked the name Eric.
They walked slowly through the garden. Sinfi still hurt, but Lieutenant Eric Brennon held his arm out for her to grasp and keep steady. They walked through the flowers silently. Sinfi had walked around these gardens so many times and yet she was surprised when she spotted the entrance to an overgrown hedge maze. Forgotten by time and reclaimed by weeds.
"What's that?" she whispered quietly as she stopped in place. Eric looked towards where she motioned.
"Oh, that," he said. "Apparently the previous empress loved this story about a labyrinth so her husband had it built for her."
"It doesn't look like anyone has used it in some time," Sinfi said quietly.
"No, the servants say the emperor doesn't like it because it reminds him of her, but can't bring himself to tear it down either," Eric shrugged as he looked down at her. "Do you want-"
"Yes," she answered quickly and urged her guide towards the tucked away location. They proceeded to meander through the hedges, getting lost in the ever twisting passages. The pair came back day in and day out and no one followed them. In their walks through the abandoned portion of the gardens they could be open and discuss anything they wished.
Eric told her stories from his home on the border of the empire. They were farmers, poor but his family had each other. She told him stories of her travels growing up, lands unknown to him and almost impossible to believe. They had both lost their fathers. Eric's in a hunting accident. Sinfi's was more… complicated and harder to explain, but they both knew the pain of no longer having them there. He told her about the knights that saved his little sister from raiders. From that moment on, he swore he would become one to help the people. She wasn't the peasant girl everyone thought she was, but Eric confessed he already knew that the moment he met her.
They wanted better for the downtrodden, they wanted better for the country they loved, but most of all, they wanted better for their loved ones.
After a week, they found the center of the labyrinth. It was a simple gazebo that overlooked the river, mountains rose in the distance. Wildflowers of every color littered the river banks. Weeping willows concealed them as they sat on an old and worn stone bench.
They gazed out towards the vista in front of them. Neither felt the need to speak as they looked out towards the beautiful secret. Sinfi felt his hand bump hers. They glanced at one another quickly. Blush crept up Eric's neck but neither made an attempt to move their hands.
They were friends.
They were friends.
They were… holding hands.
She liked the feeling of his hand on her's.
The hedge maze had become their safe haven. They were free to do or say as they pleased. They laughed and danced. They would go swimming in the secluded part of the river on hot days, or just lay out in the tall grass staring up at the sky, finding pictures in the clouds above.
It shouldn't have surprised Sinfi when it happened. She stared at the flower, mouth slightly agape in surprise. The carnations' pink petals stood out against the iron gauntlets that held the flower so tenderly, despite the harshness of the metal.
"It reminded me of you," his voice shook slightly as he held it out to her. Sinfi glanced up towards Eric's face, hazel eyes were filled to the brim with hope and wishes for more. His Adam's apple bobbed slightly as he gulped in anticipation for her reaction, watching her face for clues.
"Eric..." Sinfi whispered softly, the hints of sadness soured her voice.
They had gone too far. He had crossed the line, she had crossed the line. Their slight flirting and touching had gone too far and she knew they would be in danger if he found out about this. Eric could be killed for this, even if the intention had been innocent. Yet, as she looked back down to the carnation, Sinfi couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips. It wasn't an extravagant gift, like the jewels and clothes back in her chambers, but it was from him. Her cheeks and the tips of her ears grew abnormally hot as she reached out for the flower and slowly tucked it behind her ear.
"It's… perfect," Sinfi said in a breath. In the back of her mind, she heard her family's voices repeating about the priority of the mission. Her mother's warnings to never get attached, and her pleas to not fall for an outsider like she had made the mistake of doing. But Sinfi ignored it all.
"Like you," he whispered and ran his thumb across her cheek. She didn't know who initiated it, but their lips connected. He tasted like mint and honey and she couldn't get enough. Sinfi's arms wrapped around Eric's neck as his hands slipped cautiously around her waist, pulling her against him.
She liked the way his lips felt on hers.
"Come on," Sinfi laughed as she pulled Eric down the streets. They zig-zagged through side alleys and the paths less traveled. It had been three months of secret meetings in the abandoned gazebo, three months of stolen kisses, and three months of whispered stories. But most of all, three months of refuge from what haunted the castle walls. There hadn't been another large incident, but there were some mornings where there would be a black eye or a dark shadow on her neck. They chose to not talk about it when together, instead they focused on making life a little easier to deal with.
Hence tonight. The Emperor was fast asleep now and, with Eric's knowledge about the castle and guard positions, they were able to time things just right and sneak out into the city for the night. They were dressed in nondescript traveling clothes, allowing them to blend into the crowd. A tan cloth was wrapped around Sinfi's horns, creating the perfect covering for both her horns and skin. At first glance, they were just two people out on the town. They looked like they could have been anyone in the world and not the lieutenant of the royal guard and the royal concubine. They were two random people in the world holding hands.
"Where are you taking me?" Eric questioned with a smile and laugh.
"Well, my little country bumpkin, we are going to Oarsport's best kept secret," Sinfi explained. "Even someone the life long residents don't know about it."
Tonight would be a goodbye to a city that Sinfi loved. It was the end of the summer and harvest season, meaning tomorrow Sinfi would be making the journey to the Summer castle to hide from the Empress. The only companion that was to be sent with her was one personal guard. Luckily for Sinfi and Eric, the Emperor had decided he could do without the Lieutenant for the winter. The castle in the south was already staffed with basic necessities in Robard's mind, so there wasn't any need to send anyone else with Sinfi. They would be primarily alone in the country together. No worries about people around every corner. No nighttime secret rendezvous. No being summoned by the Emperor. Eric and Sinfi could just exist.
"And how do you know about this secret then?"
"Secrets, Darling," she looked behind her and gave him a wink. Sinfi glanced up and down the street before squatting down and popping open the manhole cover. She looked to her companion and motioned for him to go into the darkness. His face twisted in disgust.
"You're not serious," Eric gave her a look of disbelief. Sinfi didn't reply. Instead, she gave him an over exaggerated eye roll and motioned to the rungs leading down into the darkness. "Sinfi, I don't even know where we're going."
"Stop acting high and mighty, and get in the damn sewer."
"Pelor, help me," the man whispered a quiet prayer before eyeing her. "If I die, it's your fault."
"Fine, I accept that," Sinfi rolled her eyes and watched as he lowered himself into the darkness. Quickly, she scurried after him, closing the lid to the world above.
Once she was down the rungs, she grabbed Eric's hand, who proceeded to let out a startled yell at the contact.
"Humans. So adorable without the ability to see in the dark," Sinfi chuckled and she started walking down the sewer system. "Come, we're running behind schedule. If we don't hurry we'll be late."
"Late for what?'
"So impatient," she muttered as they hurried their pace. Sinfi could hear the laughter as they made their way down the tunnels. They took a quick turn and were standing at a dead end, red brick blocking them from wherever Sinfi was headed.
"Looks like this would be the end of the line, Pumpkin," Eric said slowly. Sinfi just chuckled as she reached out and tapped a few bricks, blue lights emitting from them as they heard the grinding of gears. Sinfi watched Eric's face twist from confusion to amazement as the bricks slid open and warm yellow light filled the sewer.
"Welcome to the District of Secrets," she whispered as she pulled him through the entrance.
Slowly the brick entrance shifted and closed behind them, leaving no trace of the secret undercity entrance.
Sinfi had introduced him to the troupe during their last night in the city. The Vistani, as a whole, had welcomed Eric warmly. Similarly to if they had met any other traveler on the road. Yet, her siblings and mother gave her knowing looks throughout the night. They knew she had fallen for him and knew she was trying to get them to accept him.
The boy was dangerous to the mission. He could be caught in the crossfire if they were caught. She could ruin his life if they were not careful. Baba had even been apprehensive meeting Eric. She watched him cautiously the entire night, like he was a charm spell about to backfire. Yet, Sinfi tried not to mind the looks from her family or their apprehension around him. She just wanted to enjoy this moment with him.
Winter had since come and gone while the thaw and budding of spring had followed quickly after. Through the seasons, Sinfi and Eric's relationship had grown and blossomed into something unknown to either of them, and it was beautiful. They both had begun to know and accept what it felt like to love and be loved in return. No matter how broken they both felt.
In the darkness of night, the pair had created a game of whispers called What if's. It was a game that could only be played in the darkness as they stared at one another, wide smiles plastered to their faces as they imagined a world where they were free from duty and family. Yet, they both knew, deep down, this couldn't be.
What if we ran away?
What if we changed our names?
What if we got a little farm on the edge of the empire?
What if we went back to The Vistani?
What if we were to wed?
What if the Threads of Fate blessed us with children?
What if they could have it all?
A morning dove sang its song outside the window, signalling the rising sun was coming and a new day dawning. Daylight, though, would be the signal for their journey to start. It would signal the return of summer and the start of their journey back to the capitol. Going back to the main castle. Going back to his bed.
They lay awake in bed, fingers intertwined as they stared up at the canopy in silence. Both knowing what the bittersweet song truly was; the end. Neither made the move to end the dream early. They waited for sunlight hoping it would never come.
Sinfi felt Eric shift in the bed as the first rays broke through the window. The dream slowly started to crash around Sinfi as his fingers left hers.
Then she felt the ring slip on her finger and tears began to prick at her eyes. They couldn't. She couldn't.
But what if...
"It's not much," he whispered. "You deserve a lot more, but it's what I could afford in the village."
"What if..," She said, tears threatening to fall.
"I don't want to whisper what if anymore, Sinfi," he said. "Marry me."
"Yes," she didn't know if the sob that escaped her lips was of happiness or out of fear for them.
The wedding itself was simple and had been thrown together last minute. Sinfi had borrowed her mother's wedding gown and veil. While they had pieced together a suit for Eric out of what they could find throughout the troupe. He was missing shoes, and there were moth holes in the dress, but it was what they had.
Mordecai looked Eric in the eyes with only one threat of death if anything were to happen to her under Eric's care, but he still gave her away with a smile on his face as they pressed their horns together. With a few words from Baba and a blessing from the Threads of Fate, their souls were bound together, their lives forever entwined. In the middle of the Vistani camp, during midsummer, they were married. They danced and drank, laughter rang out into the night and everything felt right in the world.
It may have been pieced together, last minute, and in secret, but the moment their eyes caught one another and their lips came together, Sinfi knew.
This was perfect. This was her destiny
It had been three years.
Three years of their routine of secrets.
Three years of laughter.
Three years of what if's.
They had done a lot of good in three years. The empire was prosperous with relief to the downtrodden and lower classes. Education was slowly becoming a standard for the young. Trade was high as peace settled life long wars with the eastern kingdom. Sinfi was close to talking the emperor into abolishing the slave trade. She could see the end in sight and then her and Eric could escape this gilded prison and take their place with the Vistani… they would have to accept him then.
Then the world crashed down around them.
A maid had seen Eric leaving Sinfi's chambers early in the morning. She had watched them kiss goodbye as he went back to the barracks. There were multiple witnesses that came forward, proving their guilt. The couple sat chained and on their knees in front of the throne in judgment. They looked to the ground in silence because there wasn't anything left to say. They had been caught.
The Emperor's green eyes glared at them as he announced his verdict. Treason for going against the crown. Treason for their affair. Treason for love. No one in the great hall was surprised they were sentenced to death, not even Sinfi and Eric. What did surprise everyone was when the emperor got up from the throne, an unsheathed, jeweled dagger gripped in his hand.
"Undo her chains and hold her horns still," Robard commanded as he roughly pushed Eric in front of Sinfi so they were on their knees staring at one another. Sinfi felt a pair of hands grip tightly onto her horns so she was forced to stare straight at Eric. Metal clanked onto the ground as her wrists were released.
The Emperor squatted next to Eric and watched Sinfi closely. Any warmth in his voice had evaporated, leaving nothing but an icy chill, "You could have had everything, and instead, you threw it away on him." The older man sighed as cold eyes washed over her body, "Now... I can be a merciful man. I will pardon you, if you say it meant nothing. Say that it was a lapse in judgment and foolish fantasy. You will be safe, and life will continue on."
"And Eric?" she whispered.
"Will be dead for tainting your judgment," the emperor simply said.
Sinfi was silent as she watched the pools of hazel in front of her, begging her to say it, say the words for freedom. Begging her to save herself for another day.
"I refuse to betray my husband," Sinfi growled out. A mixture of emotions danced across Eric's face. She threw away her chance. She would rather die than lie about everything that had been. Sinfi glared at Robard, rage flowing through her body, she could feel her magic coursing through her body, flames ran through her nervous system, begging to be released.
Then an audible crack from her left ankle broke the silence of the court. She looked down to see the anklet had snapped in half and clattered to the marble floors. Little sparks jumped off the metal. Maybe the power that was attached to her anger overload the enchantment, maybe there had been just enough of a hairline fracture from years of wear, or maybe the Mists willed it so. She didn't have time to contemplate the reasons why this had happened, she wanted revenge for the years of hurt.
Sinfi let out a low chuckle before looking to the Emperor. Golden eyes slowly shifting to milky white as she felt magic from the Mists swell inside of her.
"I curse you," her voice was a whisper, but every syllable was filled with three years of pain and hurt for every scar and bruise that had been inflicted. "I curse your family line to never be fruitful again, causing it to end in ruin. I curse your empire; may it burn around you and you be unable to stop it."
"So be it," the Emperor whispered, his jaw clenched in anger. In one swift motion, the dagger plunged into Eric's chest. A scream escaped Sinfi's lips as blood spread across his shirt, staining the fabric. Eric crumpled onto the floor and Sinfi was quickly on him, clutching his fading body to hers.
"No, you can't… not like this... Please, not like this," she whispered as she tried to hold back sobs. Shaky hands pushed blond hair out of his eyes, "What if we ran away, hmm?"
"Fi-" he whispered and reached up to touch her face, hot blood smearing across her cheek.
"What if we got that farm… what if…"
"Sinfi," his voice, ragged. A lung had been punctured. He was bleeding internally. She knew the odds were low. "I don't regret any s-second."
"Don't, you'll be fine…" Tears rolled down her cheeks like two rivers, "It'll be okay…It's okay..." She didn't know if the words were to comfort him or her.
"S-sinfi Moon, I-I love y-" his words faded.
"What if…"
Silence. Hazel eyes turned lifeless as sobs echoed in the hall.
"What if…"
Silence. His body began to grow cold and stiff. Her voice cracked.
"What if…" she had been the death of him after all.
Sinfi Moon of the Vistani was broken.
Mordecai may have broken her out of the prison and nursed her body back to health, but she was broken. Her sisters surrounded her, but Sinfi was alone. She may have been alive physically, but her soul was gone. Every time she closed her eyes, hazel eyes stared back at her, the life force draining from them the moment she reached out. Every street she went down, Sinfi swore she saw a man with mussed blond hair turning around the corner. Every street cart had pink carnations that mocked her.
What if … The words haunted her. hazel eyes, messy blond hair, half smiles, and pink carnations they all haunted her wherever she went. Every single town they came to was the same song and dance. hazel eyes, blond hair, pink carnations… what if.
She had been given her orders. Get out of Oarsport and Ejasia. Use the Mists to go to Kirkwall alone. Something was brewing and the Mists needed someone there. They needed her there, specifically.
"Only observe, nothing undercover... just don't become attached this time," her mother sadly warned before Sinfi faded into the fog. Grey fog swirled around her before fading into green, then it was gone and she was left by the docks in a new city. A city she didn't know and a city that didn't know about her. A city without pink carnations.
What if… they had run away.
She watched the Champion and his friends laughing with one another in the Hanged Man.
She watched as the Qunari made a nest by the docks.
She watched as the pirate ran away. The Champion watched her leave, goodbye letter crumpled in his hand, and then, somehow, the pirate came back.
What if… they had gotten that farm.
She watched as the Champion saved the day from the Arishok.
She watched the city fall into a police state. Tensions rose and the city was at the end of its rope.
She watched as the chantry went up in flames.
What if… they had children.
She watched riots and fights in the streets.
She watched as the templars were struck down.
She watched as the Champion and the pirate sailed away, hand in hand.
What if they had it all.
Six years had passed. Six years had been spent in the city without flowers. The hazel eyes and blond hair no longer haunted her everywhere she turned. But whenever she closed her eyes at night, she could still hear his voice saying two words clear as day:
What if…
Note: I'm not crying...totally not bawling my eyes out.