Day 3 at Raven Hill

Dennis didn't like holding the light anymore, but he didn't have much of a choice. That irritating woman, Dr. Staple, she kept poking and prodding at Kevin like he was some sort of sick animal, and Dennis didn't want anyone else to have to endure her invasive questioning. Besides, most of it had to do with Kevin's mother, and not one of the other alters knew Mrs. Crumb like Dennis did. Even in death she haunted him, and he didn't want the others to be subject to that pain, regardless if they were Horde or not.

It didn't help matters that he was always exhausted. Between the uncomfortable bed and the therapy sessions, he was finding it hard to sleep. If he managed to finally settle down on the rock hard mattress and paper thin sheets, he was tormented by nightmares. Nightmares about Kevin's mother were something he was used to, but now the hag was joined by the vengeful ghosts of multiple teenagers, trying to drag him down to hell. They brought with them images of the night he first allowed the Beast to come through; it was seared into his brain and he couldn't stop reliving it all.

He was the first to awaken after the Beast was finished feasting. Every part of his body was screaming, yelling at him for letting something so unnatural take control- twist them, use them.

Grimacing, he slowly got to his feet, and was only tangentially aware of the gunshot wound that was slowly closing up on his chest. Only three things were immediately on his mind when he arrived in the light, and miraculously surviving a bullet at close range was not one of them.

The first thing that occurred to him was that he felt like shit. The second thing? It smelled horrible in their apartment. Piss, sweat, and the tang of blood assaulted his senses, and it took him a second to get his bearings. Dennis was no stranger to the scents of a violated body, but it had been a long, long time, and the memories that they brought crashing through into his reality was almost enough to make him lose the light. The third thing Dennis was aware of was the horrible lurching in his stomach, and he only had a few seconds to rush towards a wastebasket before he vomited. Things that should never have been in a human stomach came rushing back up through his mouth, catching on his teeth, coating his tongue. Gagging, he spit out what he briefly hoped was a piece of last night's turkey, but he knew that was a foolish thought.

After his stomach settled down, he slowly walked the length of his modest quarters, seeing if he could piece together what had happened while the newest alter had control. He gingerly pushed open a door to his living room, and his throat knotted up the second he saw her lying on the ground. Down on the floor was the only woman that had shown an ounce of love for Kevin in decades, and she lay broken at Dennis's feet. Grief ripped through him, and he bent over to gently pick Dr. Fletcher up and lay her back down on the sofa. I'm so sorry, he thought. It wasn't supposed to be you; you shouldn't have been here.

"Coward!" Barry hissed inside of him.

"Freak," snarled Jade .

"You're just like her," Norma spat, and Dennis recoiled at the thought of being anything resembling the Crumb matriarch.

"No, you're all wrong," he growled, but his stomach was sinking regardless. The Beast had emerged and triumphed over the Unbroken, but the victory, if there was any, was pyrrhic.

As he got closer to the rooms the girls were left in (not girls, "sacred food" he had to remind himself), the overwhelming stench of fear and pain met him. He reached the first door and pushed it open with his handkerchief, only to need to close it immediately after a quick glance, retching to the point of tears. But he had to see. He had to know what the Horde had done.

He looked, and he gasped. Marcia lay split open, diminished. She was so ravaged that it was hard to tell she was once human, once sacred anything. Those stains would never come out of the carpet. A lot of things had been stained forever that night.

"This is Patricia's grand revolution?" Barry snarled, so close to the light, so close to consciousness, that Dennis flinched in surprise. "Little girls ripped open by monsters? Blood on our hands? More suffering?"

Dennis had no rejoinder, so he went with what he kept repeating to himself these past few weeks. "I'm doing this to protect Kevin!" he protested. "I'm doing this to protect all of the broken!"

Barry laughed, and the sound was almost manic. "That girl looks pretty broken to me, you lunatic!" The laughter turned to sobs, and he backed away, unable to take seeing through Kevin's eyes any longer. "I can't believe you let that monster kill Dr. Fletcher," he whimpered, fading from consciousness into the dark where he no longer had to think or feel.

Dennis had not spoken to any of the non-Horde alters since that night, although their disgust and rage were always present at the edge of his consciousness. Sometimes, when the nightmares jolted him from rest, he would hear them calling out to him. Barry, Samuel, Felida- all begging him to let them go, to make things right. Their cries echoed out when his OCD was at its worst, and at one point an orderly had found him dripping blood from torn knuckles, trying desperately to clean off the gore they told him was staining their hands.

They medicated Kevin afterwards, but Dennis would spit the pills out when they weren't looking. They probably knew, probably didn't give a shit. So long as the flashing lights were between them and him, they were safe and he could rot for all they cared.

No peace. No sleep. Not much was easy to come by in this place.

What Dennis did have was time, and plenty of it. Time for him to ruminate; obsess over the choices he made that had brought them to this point. True, he could point fingers at their Priestess, at Patricia, but that's not who he was. He was the first born, he was the protector. Patricia came to him with her knowledge of the Beast because she knew that only he had the will to do what needed to be done. But now that it was done, Dennis wanted nothing more than to undo it. He had damned every single one of them inside of Kevin, wide eyed and willingly. He was Judas, and he didn't even ask for one fucking piece of silver for his trouble. He never thought he needed to.

When he first started to hunt sacred food for the Beast, it made sense, in a warped sort of way. The Beast was a god made flesh, born through the broken and tormented body of Kevin Wendell Crumb. And every god demanded sacrifice. But each and every time Dennis arrived into the light after the Beast had fed, he found a little piece of himself was simply gone, diminished. Why was he serving something that only brought pain? Guardians did not inflict pain, they shielded against it. And all he ever wanted was for Kevin to someday be strong enough to take the light again.

Dennis's voice was so low it could barely be heard, even in the silence. "He wanted to die."

"What?" That meant nothing to Patricia.

"Kevin." The fact that she either did not notice, or did not care about the original's feelings, made Dennis's temper flare. "Did you not hear him when Casey called him to the light? Did you not feel how much pain he was in? He asked her to kill us!"

Dennis could practically hear the eye roll in Patricia's voice: "Dove, he always wants to die, that's why we are here in the light instead of him. He is not strong enough to realize the power that is now in his grasp. That is why he called us into existence to begin with. To make the choices he knew he could not."

What a load of bullshit. Kevin never wanted any of this. Dennis never wanted it. So why did he do it?

The hours ticked by, and Dennis found his feverish mind would not give him any peace. Someone else needed to step in. He hated having to ask, but knew that Hedwig had been wanting the light for some time anyway. There wasn't much for the little boy to do in that small hospital room, but he did enjoy working on his drawings, and Dennis was happy to let him. He needed a break.

Day 4 at Raven Hill

"Hey freak. You've got company." A nurse stepped into their tiny room, breaking up the dreariness of the day, and motioned to some orderlies to bring in a few chairs.

The insult did not go unnoticed by Hedwig, who currently had the light, and he was caught between humiliation and anger. Eyes watering with tears, he tried to put on a tough expression. "What'd you call me, asshole? Try saying that to the Beast!"

The cruel eyed nurse looked like he was about to taunt the little boy further, but heard the echoing footsteps of Dr. Staple just outside the doorway and wisely chose to remain silent.

Hedwig had no time to feel sorry for himself as Casey Cooke stepped into his dismal hospital room, skyrocketing his emotions from crushed to elated. His joy was so palpable that every single alter inside Kevin stood up to take notice of their visitor, clamoring among themselves:

"Could it be?"

"Damn, girl has some fucking ovaries on her."

"What do you reckon she's here for?"

Patricia, however, remained silent, intent on watching the interaction between Hedwig and Casey before she felt one way or another about it. The Beast had claimed her as one of their own, but that didn't mean she had to be excited to see her.

"No way!" Hedwig yelled gleefully. "You tried so hard to get away from us, and now you've come to see us? You're so weird," he teased, and Casey smiled bashfully in acknowledgement of the unusual situation.

"May I please speak to Dennis or Patrica?" Her request was gentle but firm, knowing that if she didn't get right to the point, her allotted time with Kevin would be spent listening to the young boy yammer on about superheroes and music.

The alters immediately fell silent, all eyes turning to the original members of the Horde. Dennis's mouth nearly dropped open. Casey? Asking for him? What the hell was going on? "Oh that sweet, lost girl," Barry intoned, sharing his disbelief. "What could possibly have brought her back to her abductor?"

Guilt gnawed at Dennis at the reminder, but he immediately hardened while stepping into the light. Casey was throwing everything into chaos, and he had to figure out what was going on, fast.

As soon as he gained control over their body, Dennis immediately sat up straight and crossed his arms, fixing Casey with an intense stare. "What are you doing here?" he demanded gruffly, and then realized he was coming off like more of an asshole then intended. He actually was happy to see her, much to his own surprise. She wasn't wearing ten million different layers of clothing, and the air about her was calm, like she had just woken up from a good night's rest. She just looked...different. "Your clothes are not dirty. Good." Dennis relaxed a bit and gave her the barest, but gentle, smile.

"Hello Dennis," she replied softly, and his name on her lips was like a kiss and a punch all at once. She also wasted no time with pleasantries. "A lot more people have died."

The earnestness as she said it, like he didn't know what had been happening, it bothered him. "Well…" he looked away, ashamed.

"You have to give up the light. The Horde has to give up control of the light," Casey continued. "Otherwise they're never going to let you out of here! You have to listen to this doctor!"

Dennis could hear Barry gasp softly in the darkness. "Babygirl, why are you so worried about us?" the smaller man murmured.

Dennis had no idea how to respond to her plea. Why the hell did she care? Shouldn't she want them to stay locked up? He could not rationalize her actions, and instead did what he always did best when someone was making him feel lost and confused: he went on defense.

"The doc tells lies," he growled, trying to sound convincing, but as far as he was concerned, he shared Casey's fear. "The Beast is the highest form of human evolution!"

Casey wasn't convinced. "Did Patricia tell you to say that?"

The room was getting hotter, discomfort worming its way into Dennis's stomach. He tried again. "The Beast will show the world that the broken are more evolved, he will start a revolution-"

Before Dr. Staple could stop her, Casey was down in front of him, gently grasping his arm like a prayer, like she could make him understand by touch alone. "Dennis, you guys are gonna die in here."

Instinctively he drew back, but then immediately relaxed into her touch, drinking the affection in like a lifeline. "Casey…" he breathed, scarcely unable to comprehend that this girl that he had kidnapped and terrorized was on her knees begging him to help Kevin, help himself.

Suddenly he lurched, his eyes widening in surprise as he felt Kevin stir deep, deep inside. The original felt the shift, the spark of light in Dennis, so much so that it had awoken him. "OH SHI-" Dennis gasped, but before he knew it he was kicked back from the light, the lingering sensation of Casey gently grasping their hand the last thing he felt.

His mind was spinning. What had just happened? Kevin never came to the light willingly, why was he here now? Did Dennis somehow signal that it was safe to come out? But an answer would have to wait. He, along with the others, listened intently to Casey explain how she had found the strength to turn her uncle in for abusing her, how he had hurt her just like Kevin's mom had hurt them.

"We're the same?" Kevin offered breathlessly, like he could hardly believe he was making a connection with another human being. Casey nodded in agreement.

The System exploded with cheers and Dennis could feel the swell of their pleasure so intensely it hurt, but inside he felt like he was losing his mind. Not only was she not afraid of the Horde, but she had come to try to aide them, comfort them. Kindness like that wasn't real, was it?

He sensed Patricia come alongside him, and he could tell she was displeased before she even spoke. "That brazen child, she won't stop making a nuisance of herself! First the Beast spared her as sacred food, and now Kevin is taking the light willingly. If we're not careful, she could be the end of everything we've worked so hard for."

Dennis wasn't sure he agreed, and his thoughts were pulling him in ten thousand different directions. He needed time alone to think, but in an effort to placate Patricia he set his jaw and nodded at her imperceptibly. He didn't need her nagging him while he had all this new information to parse through. All he was 100% sure of right now was that his reality looked a hell of a lot different than it did this morning. He had to get away, to be somewhere quiet. The others were still celebrating the emergence of Kevin and the olive branch extended by Casey, so he was able to slip further back into the darkness without being noticed.

With a sigh, he sat in his chair and nervously rubbed his hands over his face. What the hell was he going to do? He knew that if he listened to Casey and betrayed the Horde, Barry would accept the help. He may not be happy about it, and definitely would not forgive Dennis, but he wouldn't turn away any offer of assistance. Dennis was easily the strongest out of all of them, if he added to their efforts of getting Kevin into the light for good, well, he didn't see failure being a possibility.

Of course, once the Beast was snuffed out and Patricia overthrown, Dennis knew he would be chained up in the darkness again. He was already in the doghouse with the others before the Horde attempted their revolution, he was fairly certain he was despised by them all at this point. He didn't care though. All he cared about, all he ever cared about, was taking care of Kevin. That often meant his own suffering, but trying to run from his pain is what got them into this mess in the first place. Tools do not complain when they are used. A nail does not cry when it is beaten and bent into place, it is there to strengthen and support, nothing more. Dennis had forgotten his purpose, and the Beast had been born. If he surrendered to Barry and let Dr. Staple treat them, maybe Kevin would be helped. Hell, maybe they would even have a friend in Casey, he considered wryly. Dennis hadn't had a single friend his entire life and the thought of one made him both pathetically desperate and hopeful.

On the other hand, if he stuck it out with the Horde, it was inevitable that they would escape Raven Hill and regain their freedom. Obviously they could never stop running, settle down, have some semblance of normalcy, but Dennis and Patricia had taken that choice from the rest of them once they allowed the Beast to emerge.

Whatever he chose, he realized he had to be the one to live with the consequences. His sins, his burden to bear.

Fortunately for Dennis, he was not as alone as he thought. His first glimmer of hope lay right around the corner, in a form he never would have expected: Barry.