A/N: This isn't just another FFA Challenge pairing from Twisting the Hellmouth, but a sequel to the previous chapter.
TTH FFA: The White Witch and The Phoenix Mother: Tara Maclay/Jean Grey (Marvel Comics)
Tara once more found herself in a void, only this time her surroundings were completely white. She was quick to notice that she was wearing the clothes that the Phoenix Force had bestowed upon her. She heard the clicking of heels behind her. When she turned around, she was met by the form of the beautiful woman whose image the Phoenix Force had taken.
"Phoenix?" Tara asked. Though she looked as she did before, something was different. Tara could still feel the presence of the Phoenix Force, yet it was muted.
"No, child. I am Jean Grey," the woman introduced herself. "I am the oldest and most powerful of the hosts to the Phoenix Force across all realities."
"Tara," Tara replied. "How can I help you?"
Jean smiled warmly at Tara. "Simply be yourself."
"I... I don't understand..." Tara responded confusedly.
"The Phoenix... It is a primordial cosmic force, older than most other beings you could possibly encounter- even most gods. It exists simultaneously across all dimensions and realities on several planes of existence. It is immortal, its very life force is tethered to the very fabric of life in the multiverse. Should one cease to exist, the other would be soon to follow," Jean explained.
"Th-that... That doesn't explain very much," Tara pointed out.
"The Phoenix... Is, at times, an abject lesson on why beings who exist on higher planes of existence do not interact with lower beings," Jean informed her. "It does not exist as we do, it was not born as we were and does not and has not experienced as we have. Through you and the other hosts, it can think, feel and experience as we do, but it comes at a price."
Tara gulped nervously.
"It is easy to become overwhelmed by the power of the Phoenix, it is a majestic being of infinite power and possibilities," Jean warned her. "And it is just as easy for the Phoenix to become overwhelmed by your very being. Your thoughts, feelings, quirks, habits... Everything about you, the Phoenix will be enthralled by."
"Wh-what about the Hellmouth? Will it affect her as well?" Tara asked nervously.
Jean shook her head. "I don't think so, but it's hard to say. It's very essence should supersede the energies put out by that vile portal, but while it is contained within a mortal shell, who is to say?"
Tara frowned. "Why do you refer to her as 'it'?"
"The Phoenix Force transcends gender. It is neither male nor female. It is both and neither. Phoenix has been around since the birth of all life in the universe and it will fade when all life dies," Jean told her. "It came to you in my form, partly because I am, as I said, its longest and most powerful host, but also, in part, because you relate better to and are more at ease in the presence of other women."
"I see..." Tara replied with a frown.
"Tara, I am not saying all of this to scare you, but to warn you," Jean said comfortingly. "I did not have such guidance and stumbled around quite a bit. My own weaknesses were nearly my own doom on more than one occasion."
"What do you mean?" Tara asked curiously.
"The Phoenix doesn't feel and experience like we do, it is gender-less and unique, the only one of its' kind," Jean explained. "Matters of the heart are especially intriguing to it." She smiled nostalgically. "For the longest time, for me there was only Scott. He was everything I had ever wanted or needed. In those early days, he was my ideal partner in every way."
"Then came along Logan, feral, dangerous and primal- he ignited in me feelings I never knew existed. He challenged Scott's and mine relationship, but ultimately respected my boundaries- tested them a time or two, but respected them all the same." Jean sounded a bit wistful and slightly regretful when talking about Logan. "I loved them both equally. Scott represented wholesome gentleness and stability, whereas Logan was passion and reckless abandon. In the end I chose Scott, but often I have wondered what it would be like if I'd've chosen Logan."
"Why didn't you?" Tara inquired.
"A couple of reasons. Like you, I have abilities above the norm. I am an empath, a telepath and a telekinetic. Scott and I had been together so long that eventually we formed a psychic link," Jean told her. "The longer we were together, I began to see the flaws in my own perceptions. My ideal life wasn't so ideal and in time, things between us became perfunctory. Despite it all, I loved Scott and he loved me. It's just the life we imagined together was nothing like the life we had. Logan represented things in my life I wanted but couldn't have. He has been through enough pain in his life and I didn't want the drama in my life to add to that pain. Were I to have left Scott for him, I would have wanted our relationship to be more than just a rebound. And... And I was afraid..."
"Afraid of what?"
"For so long, I had this ideal of Scott built up over the years and reality brought it crashing down," Jean replied. "I didn't want the things that happened in my relationship with Scott to happen with Logan. And it's not that I didn't trust him, as there are very, very few who are as loyal as Logan, but I would have said the same about Scott at one time as well. I didn't trust myself. Would I grow bored and resentful, would I want more than what Logan was willing or could give? I feared that I might have built up an ideal image of who and what Logan was and represented and didn't want to risk having it tarnished."
Tara looked extremely worried. "Why are you telling me all of this?"
"Partly, because I needed to vent and partly because while human thoughts are considered primitive by many other beings, human emotions in their complexity are not to be trifled with," Jean stated. "I see you through our shared bond through the Phoenix Force: The complexities of your relationship with Willow, your fear of men, your easy acceptance of Alexander... While you are a host of the Phoenix Force, everything each of you think and feel, the other one also thinks and feels. While Phoenix has experienced a great deal through myself and other hosts, you are not us and will bring it even more new experiences. The longer it remains inside of you, the greater the chance that it could become corrupted, changing into Dark Phoenix, an entity of limited inhibitions with all of your negative aspects multiplied by an order of magnitude."
"How would we be able to stop her should that happen?" Tara asked.
"Luck. Lots and lots of luck," Jean replied. "Few beings, even when it is locked inside a mortal form, can match the awe-inspiring power of the Phoenix Force. For certain, I only know of one being who can match and surpass the power of the Phoenix unaugmented. Where the Phoenix's domain is life and rebirth, his is all encompassing, all consuming, unending hunger."
Tara crossed her arms to comfort herself. "This is a lot to take in."
"Unfortunately, there's more," Jean regretfully informed her, "It's the primary reason I have come to you like this."
"I'm afraid to ask," Tara told her.
"It deals with your friend Alexander," Jean told her. "The Phoenix Force is... Curious... Fascinated in ways she hasn't been in a long time. He sacrificed more than he knows to save your friend Buffy's life. He was the first host of the Phoenix Force, even if it is just a fragment of its essence, in your reality. Yet, unlike any other host in every other reality, he has not called upon its power, not once. He accepted it readily and without hesitation and allowed it to become a part of him even easier than either Buffy or Willow and yet it remains dormant within him."
"What does it mean?" Tara asked in concern.
"Neither I nor the Phoenix knows," Jean replied. She then stepped forward and hugged Tara. "We have never and likely will never meet in person and yet... I can't help but consider you a daughter. Stay safe, be careful and be cautious. The Phoenix Force, while a part of who your are, can and will be your greatest ally and worst enemy."
"Will... Will we be able to do this again sometime?" Tara asked, not wanting to leave Jean's presence just yet.
"I hope so."
As Jean began to fade, Tara opened her eyes, temporarily blinded by the light of the new day. She was both relieved and disappointed to still be in the pajamas she'd worn the night before rather than in the outfit the Phoenix Force provided.
"Was it all a dream?" Tara asked herself aloud.
She very much doubted so.