Thanks to Lp, Then, cAnd13ThEheTaLiaN, Yaoi-Is-Life-and-Love and an anon for reviewing.

Sorry for the delay. Things are a bit hectic at work (two editors to edit everything), and I barely get time for the things I want. There's a chance I might take another hiatus to catch up, but we'll see how things go. It's supposed to get more relaxed next week.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

Chapter 37

Yao smiled as he watched Lovino playing with his new puppy. He had a few ideas about Lovino before he arrived, but it was the first moments that really stuck out to the Chinese teen.

Lovino had been so shocked about the party that he had actually started crying. While setting up, Yao and the others had learned a fair deal about the situation, including the fact that Lovino hadn't attended a party since his tenth birthday, and that the bullies had actively tried to kill him that time. The youngest brother had reprimanded the other for being too talkative, but the other – Feliciano – had pointed out that it was important for them to know it, if they were going to be friends with Lovino.

And Feliks had made it pretty clear that it wouldn't be acceptable if they decided to ditch Lovino in the middle of everything.

The entire group had some experience with being ostracised. They enjoyed reading, and especially when they were younger, their peers couldn't understand what the appeal was of being bookworms. The natural curiosity that all children possessed was used to explore the world of literature, and the imaginations that children possessed were used to imagine the descriptions they read. It was one thing to see it on screen, but another to see it in your mind. When seeing things in your mind's eye, you decided on the actors, and you determined the quality. Unfortunately, not many children saw it, and the ones that didn't ostracised the ones that did.

Yao himself had been bullied because he was Asian when he was younger, and he was ostracised for his love of books. He had been quite lonely when he was younger, until he met Miguel, who got into books because he found that it was a good way to tune out his annoying cousin. Miguel had sat down next to him while Yao was on the playground, leaning over his shoulder. As it turned out, the book that Yao had been reading at that time was a book that Miguel hadn't read yet, but had been eyeing. Once Yao finished, he lent the book to Miguel, who lent a book to him in return, and that was how their friendship started.

At the age of thirteen, that was when Vlad arrived. He of course had been bullied for his appearance, and used books to escape. During breaks, he would sit behind the stairs, nose buried in a book. Miguel had spotted him by happenchance when he was passing by, and he and Yao worked hard to get the Romanian to open up to them.

People were surprised that three kids that did nothing but read the whole time could be friends, but they've certainly formed a bond. It helped that they could talk about a book whenever all three managed to finish one.

And in high school, they met Gupta and Heracles. The two had already been friends since they were small, and had gained a mutual love of books. Heracles tended to lean towards philosophical works, while Gupta enjoyed mythology. Still, despite having different tastes, they had managed to make friends through a mutual love.

Yao suspected that the reason why Lovino had such a hard time was because he couldn't find someone that shared his passion. For anything, perhaps.

From what Yao had seen, Lovino was shy, and on his guard. He didn't trust them yet, which wasn't surprising, considering his history. But he couldn't see why anyone would hate him so much.

Yao examined Lovino's face. It had a surprising number of green bruises, with a large one surrounding his right eye. And whenever Lovino tilted his head up, Yao could see bruises surrounding his throat. He was wearing long jeans and a long shirt, but Yao knew that his arms contained a lot of scars, and peeking out of the right sleeve was a splint. Lovino had been hurt in more ways than one, and everything about him was evidence of that, from his appearance to the way he would watch someone when they got close to him.

His friends and siblings often told him that he was a mother hen, but this time, he felt that there was someone that truly needed to be taken care of.

And there was one thing that concerned Yao.

They had been hoping to not let Lovino's situation at his old school become public knowledge, but people would want to know about the bruising. The teachers knew, but they weren't the ones to be careful of. They needed to decide what to do and say ahead of time, before Lovino was treated as an outcast again.

So Yao moved towards Lovino, who paused while playing with the puppy in order to regard him.

"I realised that we'll need to think of something to say," Yao said. "Your face… The bruises… People are going to ask questions."

Lovino flinched, hand absentmindedly going to his face.

"…I'm going to accept that you don't want people to know that you were bullied," Yao said. "Are you willing to accept the story that you were mugged?"

Lovino blinked, looking surprised, before he turned thoughtful.

"…If they ask for more details, then it's going to cause problems," Lovino said. "Especially if they want to know why I'm transferring."

Yao winced. That would cause a problem.

"…If you're okay with it, you could tell people that you were bullied," Heracles said. "And that the bullying was bad enough to land you in the hospital. It wouldn't be a lie, technically. We just omit the part where you tried to commit suicide."

"A lot of people are sympathetic," Gupta said. "There are one or two jerks, but they wouldn't try anything if you have a lot of support."

Lovino was silent, absently scratching the puppy behind the ear. Finally, he nodded.

"I guess it wouldn't matter," he said. "But… thanks. For… for thinking about me. And for those messages."

Yao smiled at the reference to the fortune cookies. At least he knew that Lovino appreciated them. Even if he didn't quite believe them yet, he appreciated them.

"H-hey, you don't mind if we check out your book collection?" Vlad asked. "We're kind of curious."

Lovino appeared startled, and Yao smiled. He knew that his Romanian friend was trying to ease the situation, and he appreciated it. Soon, Lovino would see that their circle of friends was the best that he could have asked for.

"S-sure," Lovino said, nudging the puppy off his lap before he stood. "Follow me."

…

Lovino led the other teens up to his room, and while the new group immediately made their way to his bookshelf, Feliks came to stand next to him.

"Like, are you sure you're okay with this?" Feliks asked.

"I've got nothing in here to be embarrassed about," Lovino sighed. "Besides, I think Vlad was trying to distract us. So, I appreciate that."

Feliks's eyes widened, and it looked as though he was surprised. Lovino sighed, going to sit down on his bed. He couldn't stand the whole time, not with his ankle like this. The moment he sat down, he realised that something was different. The mattress beneath him was firm, not anything like the minefield he'd slept on two weeks ago. He reached out his hand, feeling that his suspicions were confirmed: it wasn't the same mattress.

He decided that now wasn't the time to comment on it. He still had people in his room. People he barely knew. People who were thankfully treating his books with the reverence they deserved.

"No Exit," Heracles said, holding said book. "Did you enjoy this?"

"Well, I had to say, it was pretty amusing," Lovino said. "And I agree with Sartre's opinion."

"'Hell is other people'. If you like…"

"We are not going to discuss philosophy right now," Vlad snapped.

Heracles shrugged, mouthing 'later' while winking towards Lovino. He couldn't help the small smile at the action.

…

Lovino waved Feliks off. The blond Pole was the last to leave, and now they were left with cleaning up. He sighed, closing the door as he made his way to the living room, where his brothers had already started cleaning up.

"Lovino?" Feliciano asked. "What are you doing?"

"I'm helping," he said. "This is all because of me, so I should…"

"You should lie down," Marcello interrupted. "You're probably tired after all of that, and you're still healing."

"But…"

He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he spun around to see his father standing there.

"I agree with them," Romulus said. "You need your rest. It's been a long day for you, and you've still got some healing to do. Don't think I didn't notice you limping."

Lovino didn't know what to be surprised about the most: the fact that he was limping again or that his father had noticed it. His father noticed his surprise, and smiled awkwardly.

"Why don't you spend some more time with Chiara?" Romulus asked. "I placed the basket in your room. You're just going to need to set out some newspapers."

Seeing that he couldn't win, he sighed, before he went to the sleeping puppy. He scooped her in one arm, briefly waking her, before she closed her eyes again. He couldn't help but smile at the cute display, before making his way to his bedroom. He had been hoping to take her outside, but that would have to wait, apparently.

The moment he reached the bottom of the stairs, he stopped, recalling something important.

"By the way, did you buy me a new mattress?" he asked, turning to the living room.

His father poked his head out and smiled.

"Si," he said, walking towards him. "I noticed that your old mattress was no good anymore, and I figured that it must have hurt. I especially didn't want you to have to sleep on a bed like that when you still have bones that need healing."

Lovino averted his gaze.

"And how much did that cost?" he asked.

His father gently pulled him into a hug, and he kept it as gentle as possible, partly because of the puppy, and partly because Lovino was still healing.

"If it could ease your discomfort, then it's worth every cent," Romulus said softly. "And I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise."

Lovino had to fight back his tears. He'd cried enough lately. Instead, he let his father hold him for a while, before Lovino pulled back. He continued on his way to his room, suddenly feeling very tired.

He noticed the basket, and immediately deposited little Chiara into it. His father had at least brought a stack of newspapers, which he laid out on his floor. As soon as he finished that, he heard a sound that was both cute and heart wrenching: the puppy was whimpering.

He turned towards her, and the look she was giving him…

"What is it?" he asked gently. "Do you want to go out, or…?"

Well, the puppy wanted out… Out of the basket, at least. She climbed out, and Lovino couldn't help but think that the clumsy stumbling of this little ball of fluff that still needed to learn to use her legs was cute. And then, where he was on his knees after laying out the newspapers, she plopped down, pressing against his leg.

"Cute," he said, before he scooped her up and placed her back in the basket, only for her to immediately crawl out again and lay down tightly pressed against his leg.

It took him a moment to realise that she craved contact, and he scooped her up, before lying down on the bed with her placed between his feet. She tried to climb up, but he gently pushed her back, and she thankfully seemed to get the message. She lied down in the space provided by his feet, thankfully using his right ankle as a pillow.

Lovino smiled, before he closed his eyes. He knew that he wasn't supposed to sleep during the day, but he was just so tired. A little nap couldn't hurt, right?

Just in case, he set his phone's alarm to go off in half an hour. Not enough time to get a nightmare. With that done, he made himself comfortable and closed his eyes. Soon, he was drifting off.

…

Romulus went to check on Lovino, and the sight made him smile. Lovino was asleep, with the puppy at his feet. It was a warm, sweet scene.

He had to admit, it surprised him that Lovino named his puppy after his mother, but he supposed that it made sense. Matthew had said that Lovino saw a pet as someone to love him when all others hated him. That was probably how he saw his mother.

The moment he truly processed the scene, his blood turned cold. He wasn't supposed to let Lovino sleep during the day. If he got another nightmare…

He carefully made his way to Lovino's bed, and gently shook him awake.

"Lovino," Romulus gently called out. "You shouldn't be sleeping now."

Lovino mumbled something, but didn't seem as though he was about to open his eyes. Before Romulus could try again, something vibrated on the bedside table. He turned to see Lovino's phone, an alarm going off. Lovino reached out and silenced the alarm, before he looked tiredly at his father.

"I said that I set an alarm," Lovino said.

"Oh," Romulus said. "Sorry, I couldn't make out what you said."

Lovino just nodded his head, before he looked down at the puppy.

"I should probably take her out now," he said.

"I have to admit, I'm surprised about the name," Romulus said. "And I'm sure your mother would be flattered."

Lovino didn't immediately answer, instead he simply stared at the puppy.

"It was the only name I could think of for someone who would love me, no matter what," Lovino said. "Someone who would deal with all my crap with absolute patience and make me feel better when I feel sad. Someone that I know would never betray me. Someone that wouldn't call me names, or tell me that I'm useless, or stupid, or…" Lovino took a deep breath, most likely in an effort to calm himself. "Besides, I didn't go visit her. I wanted to, the next day. But that day, I was in so much pain, and then…"

Lovino's words trailed off, but the quick glance towards Romulus told the older Italian all that he needed to know. If not for Romulus pushing Lovino that last bit over the edge, his son would have gotten a chance to say goodbye to his mother. And now that the matter was raised, Romulus could see that it bothered Lovino that he didn't visit his mother before he tried to join her.

"I… haven't visited her either," Romulus admitted, sitting down on the chair at Lovino's chair. "I… I felt guilty, and didn't think I deserved to go see her."

Lovino was silent for a moment.

"Hey?" he said at last. "Do you think we can go visit her tomorrow?"

Romulus smiled softly.

"Si," he said. "I think she would appreciate seeing us all together." He turned towards the puppy. "You're supposed to take her out for walks every day, but until that leg of yours is better, I don't want to take that chance. So, if it's alright with you, I'll take her out now, then I'll ask Feliciano tomorrow, then Marcello, until we feel that you'd be able to take her yourself."

Lovino glanced towards his left ankle, before he sighed and nodded his head. Romulus stood from the chair.

"I'm making chicken parmesan," Romulus said. "Figured you'd be tired of pizza by now."

Lovino gave a small smile, before he allowed Romulus to take the puppy out.

…

Sunday morning saw all four members of the Vargas family standing in front of the tombstone of their fifth family member. Lovino tried not to think of the fact that this was most likely the first time since the funeral that all four of them had come together. It was… sad, actually.

Lovino also felt guilty that he couldn't go to her on the anniversary of her death. He still didn't know how he felt about surviving, but the thing that truly bothered him was that he didn't come to put flowers on her grave on the tenth anniversary.

It was for that reason that Lovino walked forward with the bouquet, which he placed in front of the tombstone. He swallowed thickly. He wasn't going to say anything out loud. Not when his father or brothers could hear him.

But that didn't mean he wasn't going to try to reach her through his heart.

'I… I'm sorry about… trying to kill myself,' Lovino thought. 'And I'm sorry that I didn't come to properly visit you before that. But… You probably saw how bad it was. I'm sorry I was so weak. But everyone's been so stubborn lately. They won't leave me alone. I don't want them to. I… I'm scared. What if they think that everything's alright now, and that things could go back to normal? I don't want that. I don't want to be forgotten again. I wish… I wish you could tell me that everything's going to be alright. And… I hope you don't mind, but I got a puppy, and I named her after you. She's a really sweet dog. She kind of reminds me of you.'

When Lovino was finished, he joined his family. His brothers gently wrapped their arms around his back as they followed their father to the gate.

"Tomorrow is your first day at the new school," Romulus said. "Are you nervous?"

"Terrified," Lovino admitted.

"Don't worry," Feliciano said. "Gupta and the others will take care of you. You don't have anything to be afraid of."

Lovino hoped so.

So, something I didn't think I needed to explain, but apparently I should: there are two reasons why people would name an animal after a person. The first is a form of mocking the person, like in Pirates of the Caribbean where they named the monkey Jack. The second reason is actually a form of honouring someone, the same way one would name a child after someone (because pets are adoptive children). It can even apply to fictional characters: my mom named our one dog after Gibbs from NCIS (a show she and my dad both love), my friend named her cat after Roy from Arrow, her brother named the dog after Zoro from One Piece… Point is, it has everything to do with the intention.

As a further note, there's also a bit of symbolism related to the puppy being named Chiara. Lovino sees his mother's death as the moment when his happiness ended, and when his misery truly began. Though he doesn't realise it yet, the puppy marks his happiness returning, and the end of his misery. Even if the puppy herself isn't the reason for the happiness returning, she still marks the era when Lovino's life started to turn around.

I first came into contact with No Exit when I was in high school. I had drama classes with a retired English teacher (most of the time it was just me there, and the classes were more than just acting). I remember reading the part where they agree not to acknowledge or look at each other (since they have no eyelids to close their eyes, and nothing to distract them from each other). Years later in French literature we did the French version, Huis Clos. When I read something I recognised, I really got into the play. My shock when I recognised it was profound, and it took me a long time to realise why I recognised it (you know when you know you've encountered something, but you just can't remember where or how you've encountered it before). I actually enjoyed it.

When I was in second grade, my teacher had a puppy that she brought to school. Since I had to wait for my mom anyway, I stayed after school to clean the classroom and play with the puppy. Once, the puppy fell asleep on my lap, and when my mom came to pick me up, I placed the puppy in her basket, which was next to me, but the puppy immediately made her way back to my lap. It happened a second time, and the third time I stood up before she could lie down.

It's generally considered a bad idea to sleep with a puppy or kitten in your bed, due to the chances of suffocating the animal being high. It should be relatively safe if you can convince them to rest at your feet, where your mass has a lower chance of squishing them. The bigger the animal, the safer it is. I know that I never allowed my dogs to get higher than my knees until they were big enough. There's also the chance that you're like me, and you're so paranoid of hurting them that you barely sleep, and you briefly wake up every time you want to turn around.