Thanks to WickedInk, RobinReneaRose, cAnd13ThEheTaLiaN, apurehetalian, Senii and two anons for reviewing.

I was wondering when someone would ask about Feliciano and Ludwig's relationship, so let me explain it now: there is no relationship in this story. It's established early on that those from different years don't mix much, and don't really make friends with each other, and Ludwig is in Marcello's year, and Marcello and Ludwig aren't friends, just classmates. This is actually how it worked when I was at school, especially in primary school, where even one year can be seen as a huge gap.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

Chapter 40

Miguel and Lovino were sitting against the bathroom wall, with Miguel still holding onto the quivering Lovino. Miguel had noticed that Lovino was having a hard time in the standing position with his ankle, and decided that it would be best if they were sitting down.

Miguel waited patiently as Lovino got everything out of his system. He was sure that the Italian was going through a cocktail of emotions, and had no idea how to handle any of them. But he didn't push Miguel away yet, so perhaps there was still hope for them.

But still, while waiting for Lovino to calm down, Miguel couldn't help but go through the information he knew about what had been done to Lovino. Antonio was one of the people responsible for Lovino's bruises. He was responsible for the broken bones – in fact there might have been several bones that Antonio actually did break. He was responsible for Lovino ending up in the hospital. He was responsible for Lovino almost dying.

After everything, Miguel couldn't blame Lovino for being scared. Miguel had gone through a tough time himself when he was younger – simple teasing, really, and whoever said 'sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you' had obviously never experienced name-calling or teasing himself – but none of it even came close to the torture that Lovino had to endure. The scars were evident, and not just the physical ones. The emotional scars had manifested in a way that Miguel could experience the effects as well, in the form of the shaking teen who was afraid of him¸ purely because of the resemblance Miguel had to one of his tormentors.

Just the thought of someone being scared of Miguel actually made him feel sick. There had to be something seriously wrong with Antonio for liking this feeling. And he wasn't going to delude himself into thinking that it might have been a simple case of peer pressure.

There was a particularly loud sniffle, and Miguel turned to Lovino just as the other boy started to pull away.

"Feeling better?" Miguel asked.

Lovino hesitated, before slightly nodding his head. Miguel smiled softly as he allowed Lovino to become more comfortable.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry about what my idiot of a cousin did to you," Miguel said.

"Why…?" Lovino asked. "Why do you believe me?"

"Why wouldn't I? You have no reason to lie about it."

"Si, but… he's your family. I thought people had this sort of… um…"

"Reluctance to believe that anyone related to you could be a bad person?" Miguel suggested. "The whole 'blood is thicker than water' thing?"

Lovino jerkily nodded his head.

"It's because I'm related to Antonio that I know you're not lying," Miguel said. "When we were younger, he was particularly susceptible to temper tantrums. And he would usually hurt me. The problem is, I would fight back, and we'd both get in trouble. So, I've personally seen how he's not as nice as a lot of people think he is. And those friends of his aren't particularly pleasant either."

Lovino was silent as he absorbed all of that.

"So… he hurt you too?" Lovino asked.

Miguel nodded.

"I wouldn't exactly call it 'bullying'," Miguel said. "But he's definitely the one that started our fights. He only stopped when I started blackmailing him. Because he also had the nasty habit of doing stupid things. He really cares about what other people think of him."

Lovino nodded his head in agreement.

"And he doesn't care if only one person knows that he's not the nice guy everyone thinks he is," Lovino said. "Because no one would believe that one person."

Miguel nodded.

"I don't want you to be scared of me," he said. "But I can understand it. If you feel uncomfortable or anything, please, tell me. Don't push me away. Like I said, I'm not my cousin. You have brothers, right? Were you ever compared to them?"

Lovino paused, before he nodded his head.

"I get it," he said. "It's… not a nice feeling. But… I just… I see… And it's not just you. Vlad makes me a bit nervous too. Because of his eyes."

"Because of Gilbert, right?" Miguel asked.

Lovino nodded.

"It's easier if I don't look him in the eyes," Lovino admitted. "But… you…"

"I get it," Miguel sighed. "I still want to be your friend, though. So, is there something that I can do that would make you feel more comfortable?"

"I don't know," Lovino admitted. "I'm not… used to this kind of thing."

"Don't worry about it. Um… If you don't mind, I'd like to hear about all the things my cousin did to you. Everything. And in return, I'll tell you embarrassing stories. That should help, right?"

Lovino was silent for a long moment.

"I don't… really want to talk about it," he said.

"Talking about it would help," Miguel said. "Why don't you think about it, alright? In the meantime, we should probably get back to the others. Lunch is almost over."

Miguel stood up, before he helped Lovino up. He didn't take offence when the Italian refused to look in his direction. Looking into the mirror, Miguel tried to see just how much he resembled Antonio. Because these were all the things that Lovino saw, which brought about horrible memories.

Miguel had read enough books to understand what was going through Lovino's mind. And he knew that he needed to find something that would make the Italian more comfortable around him. Something that would doubtlessly be able to separate Miguel and Antonio from the Italian's mind.

…

"I didn't get the chance to ask you," Feliks said. "What happened between you and Miguel?"

It was after school, and the two had gotten on the public bus that drove past the school. They had made sure to buy the passes from the secretary in the morning, and they wouldn't have to make another payment until the end of the month.

There were a few other students on the bus that went to their town as well, but none of them were classmates of the duo, and none of them knew Lovino from kindergarten or something. They did throw curious looks in Lovino's direction, but it was mostly a response to the bruises he had on his face.

"He found out about Antonio," Lovino said.

"And?" Feliks asked. "Like, how did he take it?"

"He… gave me a hug and told me that he wasn't his cousin. Afterwards… Um… Kind of like… when you found me in the bathroom."

Lovino felt a bit embarrassed when he realised that it was the second encounter of that kind that he'd had in a bathroom. Well, at least it was in a place where no one else had gone.

…Actually, why didn't anyone go there? They'd been there for a while.

"Oh," Feliks said. "So, like, it wasn't too bad then?"

"He says that he still wants to be my friend," Lovino sighed. "But he also asked me to tell him about all the things Antonio's done to me."

Feliks winced when he heard that, and he looked away.

"Like, that's probably not something that you'd want to talk about," Feliks said.

"…It made me realise something," Lovino admitted. "I don't really know about any of the things that the jerks at your old school did to you."

"You mean, asides from name-calling and the occasional beating? Like, nothing much. At least, no one's tried to kill me. There was that one incident when hot soup was poured over my head during lunch. Like, took me forever to get my hair clean. That's… Probably one of the worst things they've done to me."

"Still… They shouldn't have done it. I mean… These things add up."

"Like, you managed to hold on longer than I did, with more things done to you."

"It's only because… I… convinced myself that… I deserved it."

Feliks's eyes were saucers, and Lovino had to avert his gaze.

"…Like, why did you think that?" Feliks asked.

"…My mom," Lovino admitted. "She… She died while I survived. And I know that… Everyone wanted it to be the other way around."

"Lovino…" Feliks said gently. "Like, no one wants to see you dead. Okay? And anyone that does is just jealous of you."

Lovino was startled. Never before in his life had anyone suggested that someone was jealous of him, nor did he think that there was a reason to be jealous of him. He wanted to ask, but his voice decided to take a siesta. Instead, he stared out the window, wondering how the session with Dr Williams would go later.

…

"Are you leaving now?" Toris asked.

Romulus nodded, packing up everything. Amin was due to arrive soon, even though it was later than usual.

He had to admit, he was actually glad that they'd hired Toris. The man was a hard worker, and he'd passed the test that Romulus had set for him. Romulus had purposely left money where Toris could see it, and instead of pocketing it, Toris had rushed after him in order to return it. Well, at least he knew that he was honest.

And he would make sure that Toris would never hear that he had been tested.

"Lovino's bus would be getting home soon," Romulus explained. "And then I need to take him to the therapist."

Toris's expression softened. That was something that Romulus noticed: the Lithuanian seemed to have a soft spot for Lovino, and whenever the subject came up…

"Is he doing better?" Toris asked.

"It was his first day at the new school," Romulus said. "So, hopefully, the worst thing he experienced was a case of the nerves. At least he has moral support."

Toris nodded his head as he absorbed the information.

"Could you send him my regards?" Toris asked.

Romulus nodded his head. Someday, he would ask either Toris or Lovino how they knew each other, but there wasn't time for that.

Romulus turned his attention to the main entrance, where Amin had just entered. Taking that as his cue, he grabbed his things and left, hoping that he didn't find a scared and trembling son at home.

…

"Aw, poor puppy," Feliciano cooed.

That was what Lovino returned to. Feliciano and Marcello had arrived a bit earlier than him, and so they let Chiara into the house. Apparently, she was so excited that she had completely dehydrated herself, and Lovino's brothers had given her water.

"Oh, Vino!" Marcello exclaimed as soon as he noticed Lovino. "You're back! How did it go?"

Lovino shrugged, sitting down on the ground. Chiara had noticed him too, and came to greet him with her tail wagging frantically. Lovino scratched her behind the ears as she tried to lick him.

"Aw, she realises that you're her papa," Feliciano said.

"No, I don't think that's the case," Lovino dismissed. "I think she's just happy to know that she won't have to go outside soon."

"Still, how did it go?" Marcello asked. "How were the teachers?"

"And did you eat lunch?" Feliciano asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Not really," Lovino admitted. "I… Kind of had a panic attack during lunch."

"Really?" Marcello asked, as Feliciano started searching the cabinets. "Do you have any idea what could have triggered it?"

Lovino sighed, but nodded. He knew exactly what had caused it. It should have been something stupid, but… when Miguel called him 'amigo', he just… He had flashbacks of several encounters with Antonio.

Thankfully, he was saved from the details when his father returned, entering the kitchen and ruffling Lovino's hair. Lovino froze when he felt his father do that, trying to recall any time when Romulus had done that to him.

"Sorry I'm a bit late," Romulus sighed. "Amin had an emergency with his son, so he came a bit late, and I didn't want to leave Toris alone for so long."

"How's he doing?" Lovino asked. "Is he managing okay?"

"He's settled in nicely. He actually sends you his regards. Anyway, are you ready to go?"

Lovino nodded, standing up. Before he could go, however, Feliciano handed him a basic sandwich.

"Eat something," Feliciano instructed.

Lovino rolled his eyes, but took the sandwich nonetheless. He followed his father out, trying to keep the excited puppy from following as well.

"Did everything go alright?" Romulus asked.

"Except for one thing, si," Lovino said.

"Why? What happened?"

"…You remember that friend of Gupta's that couldn't be there for the party?"

"Si."

"Well… turns out, he's the cousin of one of those jerks."

Romulus froze while climbing into the car. Lovino kept his gaze lowered to the ground as he climbed into the car. His father followed soon after, and after reversing out of the driveway, he turned his attention to Lovino again.

"Does he know about that?" Romulus asked.

"He managed to figure it out when I told him that he looked a lot like Antonio during a panic attack," Lovino said. "He… hugged me as I got over the attack."

Romulus sighed in relief.

"That might be a bit risky," Romulus said. "In case family loyalty…"

"He made it clear to me that if anyone would believe me about his cousin, it's him," Lovino said. "He said that he was on the receiving end of a few of Antonio's temper tantrums as a kid, the difference is just that he could fight back. But when I tried…"

Lovino trailed off, recalling how all of his efforts to defend himself had only resulted in him getting hurt worse. In the end, he decided that it was either run away or endure it.

"…You should still keep an eye on him," Romulus said. "In case he ends up being anything like his cousin."

Lovino nodded.

"Well, he did make a good point," he said. "Just like I don't like being compared to Feli or Cello, he doesn't like being compared to Antonio."

"Alright," Romulus sighed. "Still, be careful, alright?"

Lovino nodded yet again.

He didn't know what he expected from Dr Williams's office, but the reception area looked welcoming, at least. There were books there for all ages, and Lovino browsed through the books out of simple curiosity.

"Vargas?" the receptionist asked after a while.

"Go ahead," Romulus urged him on. "I'll be right here when you get back."

Lovino steeled himself, before he made his way to the therapist's office. Matthew smiled when he saw him, and Lovino closed the door behind him.

"It's nice to see you," Matthew said. "How did the first day of school go?"

"It went… alright," Lovino said. "We decided to give them a brief description of what happened, and… Well, it looks as though everyone is sympathetic."

Matthew nodded.

"You know that's pretty brave, right?" Matthew asked.

"Oh, and I met your brother," Lovino said.

Matthew chuckled.

"I didn't want to spoil the surprise," he said. "So, what's your impression of Alfred?"

Lovino shrugged.

"Well, I didn't see him yelling at anyone, so he's already better than Mr Adnan," Lovino said. "Too soon to tell, really."

Matthew nodded, before he frowned.

"There's more that you're not telling me, isn't there?" Matthew asked. "Something happened."

Lovino shifted in his chair, before he nodded.

"…You know that group that's trying to help me settle?" Lovino asked.

"Yes," Matthew said. "Did something happen with them?"

"Um, kind of… Turns out that the one I only met today… he's the cousin of one of the bullies. And there's a strong family resemblance."

Matthew's eyes widened, and Lovino looked away.

"…That sounds awkward," Matthew said. "And, are you okay?"

Lovino shrugged.

"I'm managing," he said. "I kind of had a panic attack, though, and Miguel… he helped me through it."

"Is Miguel the boy you're referring to?" Matthew asked.

Lovino nodded his head.

"Does he know about the connection you have with his cousin?" Matthew asked.

"S-si," Lovino replied.

"…That's good. Knowing how your fear response works, you might come across as hostile and rude. If he at least knows what the cause of the response is, then he wouldn't take as much offence. But it could still be painful for him, knowing that he's triggering a fear response."

Lovino nodded. He'd gotten the impression that Miguel felt bad about scaring Lovino, which in turn made Lovino feel bad for making Miguel feel bad.

"He… he suggested that I tell him about the things that Antonio's done to me," Lovino said.

"…What tone did he use?" Matthew asked.

"What do you mean?"

"How did he ask the question. Was he angry? Concerned?"

Lovino had to take a moment to think back on the encounter.

"I think it would be closer to concerned," he conceded. "He mentioned that he'd been on the receiving end of Antonio's temper tantrums as kids."

Matthew nodded his head.

"The thing with people like that, they're not exactly restrictive," Matthew said. "They enjoy the feeling of power, and they will exert that feeling of power over as many people as they can get away with. Some of them pretend to be perfect angels in order to mislead those that could have power over them. By misleading them, they're able to get away with a lot more than they normally would have. Of course, if he's been on the receiving end, then he's more inclined to believe you. Did he say anything else about it?"

"Just that he would fight back," Lovino said. "I guess it stopped."

"Again, it goes down to the feeling of power. If someone fights back, then they're less likely to continue the attack. Especially if they're alone. In your case, Antonio had support from his friends, while you didn't. The three of them became addicted to the feeling of power, and they would do anything to maintain that power. You said that they attacked you because they got detention, right?"

Lovino nodded.

"Again, they felt powerless, and they tried to maintain their sense of power," Matthew said. "I want you to ask your brothers about how those three are faring at school."

"Why?" Lovino asked.

"Well, if they're still trying to reclaim the sense of power they felt, they might resort to one of two things. First, they might try to seek you out for their satisfaction. Second, they might choose a new victim."

Writing the scenes with Miguel and Lovino makes me want to work on a Portmano story. Too bad I don't have a plot for one yet.

One rule I always live by is to always have a book with you, especially if you're going to wait at the doctor, dentist, bank, etc. I once had to wait 2 1/2 hours for the doctor, and I arrived early to my appointment. Also, during elections, I stood in line reading Picture of Dorian Grey. If not a book, then I have my tablet, which has e-books.