Anakin knows Ahsoka like he knows himself.
It's easy to say everything's fine, but it's harder to act like everything is.
They've been on Onderon for less than five hours, and already Ahsoka's struggling. He can see every movement is hurting her, and her prosthetic knee is making a whirring sound that it really shouldn't be making.
He lets her carry on at first, hoping she'll come to him for help when she needs it.
"I'm worried about Ahsoka." Obi-Wan murmurs, stood by Anakin's side as they watch Rex and Ahsoka attempt to train the Onderon rebels. "I fear she's only going to hurt herself."
"She knows her limits." Anakin says, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. Obi-Wan is still treating her like a patient, even though Master Che gave permission for this mission.
Ahsoka and Rex are showing the rebels how to disarm a tank using EMP grenades. It's supposed to be a one-man job, but these rebels are inexperienced and not fit enough to complete the task in a matter of seconds, so they'll be working in pairs.
Rex takes the front hatch, opening it with one hand and throwing the droid popper inside with the other. Ahsoka swings herself onto the main canon, walking along it to reach the top hatch and disarm the Commander who controls the turret.
Except she overbalances, and her ankle rolls off the canon. The rebels hardly notice as Rex extends a hand upwards, ready to catch her, and out of the corner of his eye, Anakin sees Obi-Wan reach out too.
Ahsoka catches herself, grabbing onto the canon and pulling herself up again as if nothing happened.
"Anakin." Obi-Wan says sternly.
"Fine," he says, "I'll speak to her."
The Captain and Commander disarm the tank together, and when they return to the ground, Anakin notices Ahsoka leaves Rex to teach the next lesson.
She walks over to her Masters, one hand on her hip as if it's sore. Anakin raises an eyebrow, "You alright?"
"Yeah," she walks past them, keeping her eyes low, "just need to take a breather."
Obi-Wan tuts beside him.
Anakin sighs, turning to follow his stubborn student as she sits on one of the cargo boxes, giving her legs a rest. He pulls a servodriver from his belt, "You've got to use Skipper like a real leg, Snips."
"I know." She says, leaning back on her hands, "It's the stupid ankle; it slipped."
"Here," he holds out a hand, and Ahsoka lifts her prosthetic leg into it. His analysis takes seconds, "I can fix it."
Ahsoka stays quiet as he tweaks the bolts which are coming loose. It's a problem he gets with his arm, even today. As he works, Anakin prods at her mental shields, gets a grasp at where her head is.
Regret swirls around the girl, making him frown.
"You think coming on this mission was a mistake?" He asks out loud.
Ahsoka shoots him a look for invading her privacy, "It's not exactly going great, is it? I'm more likely to get one of these rebels killed than train them to defend themselves."
"Snips," he can't help but laugh, "that's exactly what I told Obi-Wan when you become my student, and you haven't turned out too bad."
She raises an eye-marking at him, "Have you been here for the past month, Anakin? I died!"
He hates how easily she can say that.
"Well, maybe if one of the rebels die, the Force will decide to save them too." He says with a shrug, trying to use humour to ease the tension.
"You're not helping." She mutters, flexing her ankle once he's done with it. "Can I go back to the Temple?"
"No." He says, crossing his arms over his chest. "If you go back to the Temple, you'll never want to go on another mission again."
"I just feel like a waste of space here!" She exclaims, slamming her fist on her prosthetic knee.
It's clear this is stressing her out, but Anakin really doesn't want to send her back to the Temple. She'll never want to leave again, and he doubts the Council will let her until she's thirty-five. Master Che will also throw a fit and order Anakin's execution if Ahsoka returns with even a scratch.
"Ahsoka," he takes her chin in his fingers, forcing her eyes to meet his, "you got through amputation and death. You can get through this, I promise."
She sighs, "I'll try, Master."
"Do or do not, there is no try," he reminds her, swiping her chin with his thumb. "Catch your breath, and then get ready for the next session."
She tries- she really does- but Ahsoka only seems to be getting worse.
They're doing drills to disarm the Droidekas, and Rex- by no fault of his- passes the EMP grenade to her left hand. She doesn't even realise the mistake until the ball drops through her fingers, detonating itself when it hits the ground so both officers have to jump away from it.
Rex laughs it off, apologising profusely and then saying they're lucky it wasn't one of the bombs filled with the Blue Shadow Virus. His joke makes her smile, but she's more embarrassed than anything.
What if it was a Blue Shadow Virus bomb? Everyone within a ten-klick radius would be dead.
It's understandable when Lux pairs up with Steela to practise rolling the EMP grenades, and Ahsoka tries not to feel hurt. After all, she didn't come here to re-kindle any sort of friendship with that man- no, boy.
When Saw asks her to pair up with him, she thinks it'll be a good distraction until he asks; "So, what's your history with Bonteri?"
Best conversation starter- asking a Jedi Commander about their personal life.
"We met about a year ago, on Raxus." She says, demonstrating with her right arm how to roll the EMP grenade correctly. If she refuses to share her past with Lux, Saw will come to his own conclusions. "Then, his mother died, and he got involved with the Death Watch. I helped him escape them."
"Really?" She looks over at Saw, leaning against a crate with a smug expression on his face. "He told me that he negotiated his way out."
She snorts, "We fought our way out of that camp."
"I thought so." Grinning, Saw pushes himself off the crate and walks towards her, "He's not much of a soldier though, not like you."
She pauses, her arm mid-swing, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well," he steps in line with her, shrugging, "You're Commander Tano. Too many victories to count and a legacy awaiting you. He's just Mr Bonteri, a rich kid who wants to avenge his mother's death."
She doesn't roll the droid popper, spinning around to face him. "Mina Bonteri may have been a Separatist, but she was a respectable politician and a good person. She deserves justice."
"I don't doubt that." Saw's smirk grows, "I just think her son can't quite fill the shoes she left behind. He's only going to get himself killed-"
"Not if I can help it." She growls back, somewhat possessively.
She isn't responsible for Lux, but she would take a shot for him without question, even if it cost her the same consequences as her last heroic stunt.
"So, you care about him?" Saw takes the EMP grenade out of her hand and rolls it towards the Droideka, managing to get it under the shield. "That's interesting."
"What is?" She demands.
"That bounty hunter shot you, what? Over a month ago?" Ahsoka's not sure where he's going with this, but she nods anyway. "Bonteri's been here for a while. We saw the HoloNet coverage when Dooku supposedly killed you."
"What's your point, Gerrera?" She asks, getting irritated. Those aren't exactly happy memories for her.
"Bonteri didn't try to make contact with you basically died."
Her eye-markings fly upwards in shock, "I didn't expect him too."
"But did you contact him after his mother died?"
Her jaw flexes. Ahsoka was grounded to the Temple- a consequence of taking Padmé to Raxus- when she found out about Mina's death. She sent Lux a voice message, but she never knew if he even received it.
"Bit one-sided, isn't it?" Saw says smugly.
She rolls her eyes, "You're sticking your nose in a relationship that has nothing to do with you. Now," she opens her palm, a new droid popper flying into her hand, "do it right two more times, and then we're done."
He chuckles, "Yes, ma'am."
"Sir." She corrects sharply, "I prefer 'sir'."
His dark eyes scan her up and down, "Whatever you say, Commander."
She turns a blind eye to the obvious disrespect. She may have been a reputable officer before her injury, but she hasn't been on the field in over a month and she won't be on another battlefield for a while. She feels like a new Padawan all over again.
Rex's voice is thoroughly sore.
He does training drills with his own men on the regular, but he doesn't have to scream at them like he has to with the Onderon rebels.
Honestly, he's never seen such arrogant shinies in his entire military career, and Fives was a shiny when he joined the 501st, so that's saying something about these rebels.
It's thoroughly hard work, and he doubts he'll train them well enough to survive the first battle, let alone taking down their dictator.
His job would be a lot easier if he weren't so damn distracted by a certain Togruta and her unusual quietness.
Ahsoka's always had a gift when it comes to interacting with civilians, and Skywalker said she was ecstatic for this mission, so when he sees her lingering on the side-lines instead of jumping in headfirst, he's deeply concerned.
"What's on your mind, Rex?" Skywalker sighs, stepping in line with him, "The same thing as me?"
Rex huffs out a laugh, knowing Skywalker has also been eyeing Ahsoka like a hawk. She's talking to Obi-Wan right now, the elder Jedi's hand on her unwounded shoulder. He wonders what they're talking about.
"She's not herself," Rex says, but who could expect her to be? He looks around, his gaze landing on a rebel who's caught his attention. "What do we know about that kid?"
"Who? Lux Bonteri?" Skywalker asks, following his gaze. Rex nods, "His mother, Mina Bonteri, was a Separatist Senator. She was murdered a few months ago- by Dooku, I think. I guess he decided to help the rebels out with the diplomatic side of things."
Rex nearly laughs; Separatist dictators don't tend to listen to diplomacy, especially from children.
"And he knows the Commander?" He wonders out loud, "Is that who she stayed with when she and Senator Amidala went on their little adventure into Separatist space."
Skywalker hums in confirmation; he's never approved of Ahsoka going to Raxus, even though she went with Senator Amidala- one of his closest friends.
"They have a history." Skywalker says, his voice low. "When he tried to get justice for his mother's death, he made a deal with the Death Watch and dragged Ahsoka along with him."
Rex's eyebrows rise, "Death Watch as in the Mandalorian terrorists or the heavy metal band?"
"I wish it was the band." Skywalker's tone is tainted with amusement. "She managed to get both of them out of Death Watch's camp alive. Afterwards, she offered him protection within the Republic, but he took off."
Rex presses his lips together, "That was awfully generous of her to invite a Separatist and terrorist-negotiator behind our lines, sir."
"I agree." Skywalker says, which means he knows what Rex is implying.
Ahsoka and Lux's relationship goes a bit beyond being 'just friends'.
"I'll speak to her about getting her priorities straight," Skywalker promises, "but she tends to listen to her Captain more than me."
So, this is Rex's job now.
"No problem, sir." He lies through his teeth. What does a clone know about the relationship between two teenagers of the opposite sex?
"Commander Tano?"
She peeps her head out of her sleeping bag, watching Rex as he steps inside their tent. In the dim light, she can just make out his frown. "You feeling alright?"
"I'm fine," her voice croaks a little, "Why?"
"It's 2100 and you're already in bed." Rex states, closing the entry flap behind him. In his hand is two bowls of steaming stew. The smell makes her want to be sick. "You didn't even say goodnight, you just vanished."
"Sorry," she says meekly, pushing herself into a sitting position and rubbing her eyes. She has to move again when her brace digs into her hips. "Master Che put me on a prescription of sleeping meds and they work like a charm."
It's mostly true. Her insomnia was bad enough for her to be prescribed medicine, but she hasn't gone to bed early because she's tired.
She doesn't admit it, but Saw's questions make her wonder: did Lux really care that she got injured? Maybe he only said those things to her because he felt expected to, or because there was an audience. Some people only befriend Jedi to raise their own status amongst others.
"You should eat so you don't feel groggy in the morning." Rex takes a knee in front of her, offering the bowl of stew. "Target practice and hand-to-hand training tomorrow; you'll need your strength."
She peers into the bowl and nearly gags from the aroma. Rex doesn't budge, "Please, Ahsoka."
It's as close as he can get to ordering her.
Shimmying out of her sleeping bag, Ahsoka takes the bowl, not expecting Rex to sit down with his own meal, "Aren't you going to eat with the others?"
He gives her an amused look, "And listen to the Generals preach Jedi teachings about wisdom and perseverance? No thanks."
She lets out a laugh, "I think Obi-Wan will be doing most of the preaching. Anakin's probably just nodding after everything he says."
Rex chuckles, producing a spoon from his back pocket. He knows Ahsoka doesn't use utensils if the food's in a bowl; it's easier to just drink it.
They eat quietly, Rex finishing several minutes before she does because she has to convince herself to swallow every mouthful. He leans against the central tent pole, watching her finish the final scraps when he speaks, "Kix will kill me if I don't make you do your physio."
She rolls her eyes, lowering her bowl to her lap. "Fine, Doc."
Rex smirks, shuffling forwards so his knees are nearly touching hers. She extends her left hand, lets him take a hold of it before going through her exercises.
"I don't see how any of this helps," she sighs, clenching his warm hand in her cool one repeatedly, "it's not like it'll heal my paralysis."
"You'll notice a difference when you start the steroid treatment," Rex tells her, and she remembers it taking him weeks to regain full mobility in his arm after Saluecami. "The physio is keeping your muscles strong."
She huffs at his knowledge of medical expertise, "I should've just stayed at the Temple."
Rex shakes his head, keeping his eyes on her hand, "You're better off here, getting used to being in the field again."
"It's not that." She lets go of his hand and starts reaching out her entire arm until her fingertips touch his shoulder, "I think it's a mental thing holding me back."
Rex finally meets her gaze, "What do you mean?"
She shrugs her good shoulder, feeling embarrassed. "Just don't feel like I'm much of an asset here; I certainly don't feel like the rebels should be calling me Commander."
His face immediately hardens, "Don't say that, Ahsoka."
"Listen, Rex-"
"No!" He cuts her off, his volume rising. He's looking at her like she's a shiny who just needlessly risked their life on their first mission. His Force-signature overboils with a variety of emotions that Ahsoka's too tired to identify.
Anger, protectiveness, fear… the list goes on.
"You listen, Ahsoka," he takes her hand and presses it to his chest. "I know your hand's still kriffed, but what can you feel?"
"Your heart?" She replies confused. It's a faint pulse, muffled under his civilian clothes. If he were wearing his armour, she wouldn't be able to feel it at all. "Rex, I don't under-"
"It's a sign of every time you've saved my life over the past year and a half. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you, Ahsoka."
She feels her jaw go slack, and words fail her.
"When Grievous nearly took my head off on the Skytop Station, you were the one who saved me. Kriff, you barely knew me, and you took on that overgrown clanker without a second thought."
Ahsoka's appalled; did he expect her to just let Grievous murder him? She would take on Grievous to save any of her men, from her Captain to the lowest ranking shiny.
"Before that day, I only called you Commander because you were a Jedi." He captures her eyes with his piercing gaze, "Afterwards, I swore no matter what happened, you would always be known as Commander Tano, and I'd serve beside you proudly."
"Three weeks later, you came sprinting across the grasslands of Maridun, saving me from being eaten alive by those Mastiff phalones. You've been looking out for me through it all, Ahsoka." She opens her mouth to protest, "Don't even try to deny it."
She stays quiet, her heart thudding to see a clone trooper getting so erratic and emotional. She's never seen Rex speak to one of his brothers with so much… she doesn't even know what to call it.
"And after Umbara," her montrals pick up the crack in his voice, "you were the one who saved me from myself. You picked up the pieces, even when I turned my back on you."
She becomes aware of her every heavy breath once Rex finishes. They don't break eye contact, staring at each other. His jaw is set, eyebrows furrowed in anger. Her head spins.
Ahsoka flexes her hand out of his grip and pushes it further against his chest, feeling his heart hammer beneath his ribs. It feels like he's having an adrenaline rush.
"What about every time I've cocked up and nearly cost you your skin?" She asks, remembering every mission where she's nearly gotten him killed.
"It doesn't matter." He tells her, "We're both still here, aren't we? Yeah, we're a bit bruised and bloody, but we've gotten out of every tight scrape. We're still fighting."
Ahsoka takes a deep breath, digests his words.
Then, her arms are around his neck, and she's letting out a shuddery breath as the weight of his words sinks in.
It doesn't matter how many times she loses faith in herself; Rex will always support her. It's a promise of loyalty.
Rex is the best Captain in the Grand Army of the Republic. Having his loyalty means more to her than he'll ever realise. It means everything right now.
Two muscular arms wrap around her back, gently tightening. She can feel Rex's warm breath fanning over her shoulder, giving her goosebumps.
"You're a brilliant Commander, Ahsoka, and an even better friend." She hears him murmur.
"Thank you for always having faith in me," she whispers, feeling tears brim in her eyes.
He rubs her back, "You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You'll show those rebels what it takes to serve alongside you on the field."