Chapter Ten: Hi, Society! (pt. 2)

Good evening, Upper East Siders. At last, the night we have been waiting for; glitz, glam, and a lot of girls with secrets waiting to be unveiled. I don't know about you, but I sense that the debutantes won't be the only things coming out in society tonight. Xoxo.

Serena, of course, looked perfect. Like the human form of sunshine, she was everything warm, beautiful, and golden. Her hair was pulled away from her face, revealing the sharp angles of her cheek bones, jawline, and collarbones. Her skin was tan, but looked unbelievably soft and vibrant, and the delicate nude tones that framed her eyes and coated her lips conveyed a more natural beauty than Blair could ever pull off. It was extremely frustrating to always be in second place; the literal silver medal, the runner up to the gold one.

However, for once in Blair's life, she wasn't as worried about Serena's presence. In fact, she barely cared that Nate kept glancing over at her. She was standing behind them in line, endlessly complaining about how her mother completely altered her presentation statement…to him. To Chuck, who was less than five feet away from her. She could feel his presence with every fiber of her being. She couldn't decide how she felt about what went down between the two of them earlier. She had choked. Something inside of her couldn't force her tongue to form those three words, no matter how much she had felt them. She didn't trust him. She couldn't trust another guy with her heart. Chuck had put everything out there for her, and she couldn't do the same. She hated herself for it. She hadn't cried. She couldn't cry on the day of Cotillion, because she would look even worse next to Serena if she had puffy, red eyes. It just wasn't something that she was going to let herself do, no matter how much she wanted to.

Chuck could sense her, too. He felt like he was going to implode. He had been cruel earlier and he knew it, but how else could he have reacted? He told her he loved her. He did the one thing that he thought he would never do, and she rejected him for his best friend. Again. As he'd been staring at her earlier that morning, after having called her several times and showing up at her apartment only to find her completely closed off, he realized that she was never going to let go of Nate. She'd tried to for a month and, while Chuck thought it had been going well, she obviously wasn't as strong in her affections for him as she'd seemed. That's why he had been so harsh. That's why he had been so quiet in line for the presentations. He knew that he loved Blair Waldorf, and Blair Waldorf would never love him more than she loved Nate. Serena had been right.

But god, Blair looked beautiful. Her hair was swept up into a regal bun at the back of her head, giving her a classic, elegant look that only she could ever pull off. Her silver dress seemed to highlight her delicate features and fair skin. Her dark eyes were rimmed with the perfect amount of makeup, and her jewelry communicated exactly what she was: a queen. Chuck cursed under his breath the moment he had seen her there, for he had never witnessed anything more beautiful in his life. He hoped Nate shared the same feeling, for Blair's sake.

He smiled at Serena shortly before leaving her side and taking his position on the other side of the staircase, behind Nathaniel. The announcer greeted everyone in attendance and, starting with Kati, began to announce the debutantes. Chuck looked over at Blair, never taking his eyes off of her as she stepped up and took her place in the spotlight.

"Blair Cornelia Waldorf, daughter of Harold and Eleanor Waldorf, escorted by Nathaniel Archibald. Plans to be a member of Yale's class of 2013. She will continue to summer in South Hampton and volunteer her time to children's charities."

And just like that, Blair felt all of her negative thoughts wash away. All eyes were on her as she descended the stairs that led to the sea of prestigious people looking up at her and Nate. She could imagine how they looked together; the contrasting colors of their hair and eyes had always been visually pleasing, and that fact coupled with their perfect ensemble of silver dress and tie caused them to look as though they had stepped straight out of an Audrey Hepburn movie. Blair smiled wide, remembering how she had always dreamed of presenting herself to the world on the arm of Nate Archibald, and perfectly concealed the fact that she was screaming on the inside.

Nate could feel the tension emanating off of her fair skin. He had sensed that something was not quite right with Blair, that she always seemed to be looking around the room instead of looking at him. She was constantly going quiet or changing the subject of discussion altogether, no matter the topic. It was as though she could not be bothered with him, and Nate felt something inside of him unravel as the minutes rolled by.

"Is everything ok, Blair?" he asked casually as they watched the rest of the debutantes follow in their footsteps.

Serena and Chuck stepped up into the spotlight and glanced out over the audience. Blair, who was completely focused on Chuck's dark eyes and even darker smirk, failed to hear Nate's simple question and remained silent.

"Blair," he said firmly.

Her head snapped to the side so that she was looking straight at him, obviously annoyed by the tone in his voice, "What, Nate?"

"I asked if everything was ok."

She shrugged slightly and the corners of her mouthed moved upward enough that she could pretend she had been smiling, "Of course, why wouldn't it be?"

He swallowed at her immediate dismissal, "Well, ok, I just felt like-"

"Oh, Serena!" Blair said as Serena and Chuck reached the bottom of the stairs and approached them once again. In her loudest and most sarcastic voice, she continued, "I wasn't aware you only wanted two kids! What happened to the plan of having six?! After all, with all of that free time you will have as a volunteer for the junior league, you'll need something to keep you occupied."

Serena pressed a finger to her temple and rolled her eyes, "Oh god, I know, my grandmother completely screwed me with that. I was trying not to look disgusted up there."

Chuck stepped a little closer to Serena and placed his hands in his pockets, "I guess that lying about what you want is just all in the spirit of Cotillion, though. Everyone does it, don't they, Blair?"

He allowed his eyes to flicker to Blair's face long enough to see the horrified expression appear. She outwardly scoffed, and turned on her heel to face Nate, "I need a drink and I need to dance, Archibald. Now."

"Oh, oh ok, yeah," Nate said, taken aback by her sudden aggressiveness.

Chuck felt his blood begin to boil as he watched them walk toward the bar. He knew what it was like to be around Blair when she had been drinking and when she was in the mood to dance. He felt an awful feeling of uneasiness in the lowest part of his stomach, and a pang of something unfamiliar beat against the back of his eyes.

Serena's perfect brows knitted together, "What was that about?"

"I have no idea," He cleared his throat, attempting to ignore the sensation, and smirked at Serena as though nothing was bothering him, "Care to dance?"

The familiar music reached her ears, and she blinked several times before registering what it was. Blair felt a tingling sensation in her cheeks as she swallowed down her fourth glass of champagne. She handed the glass to one of the waiters and turned back to Nate, nodding as if to give him permission to dance with her. It was the dance that they had all been preparing for, the grand waltz that was meant to be their final step into New York's high society.

Nate was staring at her as though she was an alien, as though he had never laid eyes on her before and had never cared to. She extremely uncomfortable, and mustered up enough motivation to break the silence between them, "What's wrong?"

Nate shook his head, "I don't know. I just feel like you don't actually want to be here with me."

Blair blinked, stunned by the fact that for once in Nate Archibald's privileged life he was able to pick up on something real, "What do you mean?"

"You're constantly looking around the room like you can't be bothered with me. Like you are waiting for someone else or something," he paused, "I thought you wanted to be with me tonight."

"I do," she lied, "It's always been my dream, you know that."

Though he wasn't completely satisfied with her answer, Nate nodded and smiled slightly, "It's been one of mine, too. I'm really glad you let me escort you tonight, Blair."

She felt her stomach tug with guilt. His blue eyes looked so sincere that she, for a short moment, wanted to be completely honest with him. But she did not do so, "I am, too."

But even as she uttered those words, she could not convince herself. She couldn't shake the undeniable freedom Chuck had allowed her to feel when she had been in her darkest moments. She couldn't forget the way he yanked her from that darkness with every touch, every kiss in places she had never dreamed of. He had transformed her from a broken young girl to a confident, powerful woman. He saw in her what she wanted to see in herself. He constantly let her know that she was wanted, that she was worth wanting in the first place, and that was something Blair would never let go of. Their month of secrecy had been full of schemes, pleasure, and something deeper than either of them had ever experienced. She could still hear Chuck's deep, but vulnerable voice in the back of her head. I love you.

And at the same time, she could hear the very words that broke her in places that Nate had not even come close to breaking. I get what I want and then I'm done. And you know what, Blair? I'm done.

Part of her wanted to believe that he was lying, that he hadn't just wanted her for certain unmentionable reasons. Of course, she knew that she wasn't going to find out one way or the other because their fate was sealed. That had been obvious as soon as she had arrived with Nate on her arm. Everyone was talking about their reunion, telling her that they made such a beautiful couple and that she should be proud to have such a promising young man wrapped around her finger. All of these things were true, of course. She knew they were beautiful. She knew she was proud to have society look at her and know Nate had wanted her back. All of these were selfish, but she still felt them. She also felt Chuck's eyes on her every few minutes and that feeling was stronger than any pretty words involving Nate.

The other part of her had this nagging feeling that she had, truly, been used. And she had been serious when she told Chuck she didn't trust him. If she was honest with herself, it was not through any fault of his, but rather a fault of hers. She didn't believe anyone who had seen the real her could love her like he claimed to. Not Nate. Not her mother. Certainly not Chuck Bass, who had watched her drink too much, had watched her strip down as though she had no morals, and who had been a part of more terrible schemes than she could count.

She glanced over her shoulder as she continued to let Nate guide her through the dance, and made distinct eye contact with Chuck. For a moment, all time ceased to exist. It was just the four of them, Blair, Nate, Chuck, and Serena, as they always had been, except she was not satisfied now. She didn't want what she had always wanted. She truly believed that if Serena came up and grabbed Nate, kissed him, and led him off to some other barstool or whatever other unsanitary location the two of them could find, she wouldn't have even broken eye contact with Chuck. His dark eyes burned holes through her as if to say I saw all of you and I still think you're the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on.

She swallowed, knowing that she was going to have to switch partners soon, just as they had rehearsed. Her mind floated back to the time she and Chuck had skipped out on rehearsal. She imagined how delicious his mouth had been on hers

Nate twirled her out of his arms and next thing she knew, she was breathing in the familiar scent of scotch and cologne. She bit her lip as she felt Chuck's hand rest on her hip, a little lower than they had been taught, and for whatever reason, that small gesture brought her an unbelievable sense of comfort. A small smile even touched at her lips in spite of her.

But then she glanced up and saw the golden tie, and a rush of regret flooded her, "Chuck…"

Chuck blinked, and felt himself wanting to escape the situation he found himself in. He wasn't good at these kinds of things. He had never had to work for a woman's attention. He had never had to stomach the unthinkable when he saw his best friend and the girl who loved him. He hated how he felt. He hated how she had reacted. He hated the words he had not stopped himself from saying earlier, both good and bad. He felt his grasps on her hand and her hip tighten slightly, and he finally looked down at her.

"Blair," he whispered, glancing down at how her lips had parted at the sound of her own name. He felt something low in his stomach tighten, and he cursed himself. She cleared her throat and bat her eyelashes a few times. Chuck could see the flush of intoxication in her cheeks, and he himself had been inebriated all day. He smiled at her, "I trust you are having a good time. You smell a bit more like champagne than you usually do."

Her cheeks flushed even more, "Yes, well, you know me. I never did figure out how to make myself relax. It seems I needed a little bit of help."

"You're right," he said, continuing to sway with her even as the music slowed, "I do know you." All of you.

She felt a shudder travel up her spine and through her shoulders. Chuck could feel this, of course, and he allowed his hands to steady her. She smiled, both apologetically and gratefully.

"Blair, I…wanted to apologize about our conversation earlier," he said softly.

She shook her head, "There's no need, Bass. It's already been forgotten. Things can go back to the way they used to be. You're still one of my best friends, you know."

"Yeah…," he managed, falling silent for the remainder of their dance.

The music continued to play, and though she knew that she was going to have to switch partners once again, she could not force herself to look away from him. His eyes were full of apologies, as were hers, and they seemed to grip each other as though those last few moments of the dance were all they would have left.

"Well, I have to dance with Richard North, now," Blair said awkwardly.

Chuck nodded and looked down at her. He swallowed before saying, "Yes, you do."

She spun out of his embrace and a sudden feeling of emptiness overcame her. Chuck, too, felt a looming sense of loneliness at the loss of skin on skin contact with her. He watched as she cheerfully greeted Richard North, Kati's escort, and pretended that absolutely nothing was wrong. He sighed at the fact that maybe, for Blair, nothing was wrong.

He felt a sudden craving for his favorite scotch. He had promised Serena that he would leave his flask in the penthouse suite he had purchased for the night, the same suite that he had planned on bring Blair to after the festivities. He pushed that thought out of his mind and glanced down at Isabel Coates, his new dance partner. She smiled at him and began to make small talk, but he could only half-heartedly answer her. He could not commit to any kind of conversation.

Things went on this way for several more minutes. He tried to distract himself, which he would usually do by talking to Nate or drinking scotch, neither of which was much of an option. As the dance slowed to a stop, he looked up and immediately found Serena, thanked Iz for the dance, and made his way to his date for the night.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked, rather uncomfortably. Serena sensed his awkwardness and made a face that was half smiling, half concerned.

"Another question besides that one, I'm assuming?" she chuckled, pulling one of the loose strands of blonde out of her face, "Yeah, of course. What's up?"

"Don't take me too seriously, but have you ever felt something about a person that you shouldn't?" Chuck asked, immediately smiling to himself at the realization, "Wait, never mind, of course you have. You ended up in Connecticut. That actually makes me feel so much better."

She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. A taunting smile came across her face, though, "Ouch, ok. But why? Who is your forbidden fruit? Is it one of the women on the Committee? Or maybe a girl from Columbia with a boyfriend or, I don't know, some standards?"

"Hardly," he said, scoffing.

"Oh, come on, I'm guessing completely blind! I wasn't aware that you had abandoned affections that you have to pay for!"

"Forget I asked," he grumbled, eyeing Blair and Nate a few feet away. They were in deep conversation, and the sparkle in her dark eyes made him feel as though she was actually serious about what she had said earlier. A knot developed in his throat.

"No, Chuck, I'm sorry," Serena said, sighing, "You've never asked me for advice like that so I thought you weren't being serious."

He shrugged, "I've never asked anyone for advice like that."

"Not even Nate?"

"Let me rephrase, I've never needed to ask anyone for advice like that," he said, glaring over at their smiling faces, "Besides, Nathaniel has always had his hands full."

Nate looked up at him as if he had heard their conversation. The look in his blue eyes was ambiguous, for Chuck could not read whether he was happy to see him or angry with him. Blair and Nate approached them then, and by the look on Blair's face, Chuck could tell that she was surprised that her boyfriend had decided to join their other two best friends.

Blair felt her breath catch. She and Nate had been discussing old times, which was comfortable ground for her. He told her he had actually missed the Audrey Hepburn movies and that he promised he would pay closer attention this time around. He had said that she looked radiant, which she knew she did, and he purposefully had not mentioned Serena. He was doing everything right, and still her heart leapt as soon as he began to approach Chuck.

"Nathaniel, come to invite me outside for a quick pick me up?" Chuck asked nonchalantly, pretending to smoke the nonexistent joint in his hand. He ignored the strong impulse to look at Blair and tried to focus all of his attention on being a best friend to Nate, "Because, you know me, I'll always say yes."

Blair made a sour face at him, and then switched her attention to Nate. That look was familiar. That order of blame was also familiar in situations such as the one they were all in. Things seemed to be back to normal, and Chuck shoved his hand in his pocket to feel around for the object he suddenly sought.

Nate flashed a wide, white smile and shook his head, "Unfortunately, no. Those days are behind me. But I just wanted to see how you were, I haven't had the chance to talk to you all night."

"Well, it's a sober one, so that should tell you enough," Chuck said, shrugging.

Serena nodded approvingly. She was gripping a black Dior lambskin clutch when her phone began to ring from inside it. All four of them looked down at the bag as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, and Blair waited for what felt like an eternity to hear other phones also go off from a gossip girl blast. No such thing happened, much to her delight.

"Sorry, its Dan, he probably wants to know how it's going," Serena said, removing the phone from her bag and starting towards the corridor.

Blair smiled and waved cheekily, "He's probably very curious, they don't have these sorts of things in Brooklyn, do they? Didn't they just get running water a few years ago?"

Serena glanced over her shoulder at her best friend and sarcastically laughed.

Nate watched the blonde float out of the ballroom, an odd sensation of guilt filling his mind. He ignored it, of course, and turned back to Blair. Blair, whose beautiful brown eyes and brown hair now held all of the warmth of summer, and whose bow shaped lips seemed more inviting and more relaxed. He knew that it wasn't the alcohol that had made her more enticing, and he knew that her own state of slight intoxication had not made her less awkward around him. It seemed that, in a span of that one month, she had completely transformed for the better.

Blair left his gaze and looked back at Chuck, "You two do look nice together, by the way. The gold suits you."

He inhaled sharply, but found himself amused at her acidic words. He returned them with full heat, "Thank you, Waldorf. You don't look so bad yourself, and you have the second best looking man in the room to complement you."

Blair flashed a faux smile, "Yes, well, we always have made a great couple, haven't we, Nate?"

Nate smiled slightly and shifted his weight, "Of course."

"Oh, that reminds me," Chuck said as though he hadn't been digging around his jacket pocket for several moments, "I have a gift for the two of you."

Chuck felt his fingers go numb as he found the object and removed it from his pocket. In his hand was a key. It was beautiful and old-fashioned looking, and held an air of mystery that caused Blair's dark brows to knit themselves. She looked up at him, confused, "What is it for?"

"The penthouse," he said as proudly as he could, "I wanted to do something for you two to show you how much I care about your happiness…I want you to have it for tonight."

She wanted to cry, but she wouldn't let herself, "Chuck, we couldn't-"

"Of course you can," he said, handing it over to an eager looking Nate. He focused his words on Blair, "You above all people know exactly what you want. Think of this as a way for me to support you even when it's at my expense."

Blair glared at him, gritting her teeth with anger. She couldn't remember a time when she had been more upset, and she couldn't think of a single moment when she had found his passive-aggressive comments amusing. He only smirked at her. That fucking Basstard.

Nate blinked, confused as always, "What do you mean?"

Chuck cleared his throat and continued to look directly at Blair. She was heavenly, despite her hellish expression, "I was just referring to the fact that my scotch is up there and I had forgotten about it until just now." It's not a complete lie.

Blair's eyes narrowed, and she couldn't help but bite her lower lip, "I don't know what to say." Mainly because the idea of sleeping with Nate right now makes my stomach turn.

Chuck could sense her discomfort, and something about her helplessness in that moment took him back to that day when they were fifteen, when he had seen her and Nate in bed together, rolling around, trying to be intimate. They had been turning fifteen then, and the Blair that had shown through her innocent eyes that day was revealing herself in the eyes of a more mature, more dangerous Blair. Chuck swallowed. She was still beautiful, obviously, but he had forgotten until just then that she really had been innocent before of all this. Before him.

He felt something in the pit of his stomach: guilt. He was toying with her, knowing that she wouldn't know what to say about the key. He just wanted a reaction to tell him one way or another how she felt. He was willing to push her to the edge to get that reaction and it seemed to be working. She looked helpless.

"Chuck, can I talk to you for a moment?" she asked softly. She sounded like a small child rather than the queen of the Upper East Side.

He knitted his brows and tried not to reveal his inner turmoil to Nate. He had so many questions, but would he risk asking them? And would he be able to handle whatever she was about to say? He wasn't sure. He cleared his throat, "It's not something we can discuss here?"

Blair's eyes pleaded as her mouth did the same, "No. It'll only take a minute. It's…it's about something important. Something top secret."

Nate raised a brow, but she had practically forgotten that he was there. Her eyes were on Chuck, unmoving, as he slightly pursed his lips. He was considering her words carefully. What did she want to say? Would she scold him for teasing her so? Would she want to simply make sure he was aware of what would go on in that penthouse? And if so, would they be words of warning or torture? He was not certain. He only knew that the look in her eyes was breathtakingly sincere. He inhaled, flaring his nostrils slightly, and replied, "If you insist."

Hey Upper East Siders! I'm soooooo sorry for dragging this chapter out so much (I'm expecting at least two more parts to the story!) and I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long! I'll try to be better. It was just a hectic summer, and life hits strong and true. Let me know what you guys think!

Xoxo

Mina