Chapter Eleven: Falling Down the Stairs

He wanted to apologize on the spot, but he decided to wait and hear what she had to say. He followed her out of the ballroom, watching her hips swing from side to side in the silver dress and cursing his body for reacting so harshly. She had a power over him that defied logic and insisted on pleasure, even if that was the last thing their current situation was hinting at.

"What the hell was that?" Blair whispered angrily over her shoulder as they entered the hallway. She was lifting the hem of her dress slightly, her fist clenching it so hard her knuckles were white.

Chuck knitted his brows in confusion and frustration, "Gee, no 'Thanks Chuck for following my lead and allowing me to…' how did you put it? Love someone you trust? Something like that. You know, it is a shame that whatever work is put in in the penthouse will be neither of your first times, in case you forgot about those instances."

"You're despicable. It caught me totally off guard, there is no way he didn't notice. I can't believe you'd put me in a situation like that." She felt her blood pressure rise.

His face softened into a cruel smirk, "Because I'm sure pulling me somewhere more private to have a conversation about it was so very inconspicuous."

"I panicked, and I didn't want to say anything in front of Nate."

A few other guests walked past them, and they flashed faux smiles and ceased speaking. Once they were alone again, Blair glanced around and saw the entrance to a stairwell. She took his arm in hers and dragged him inside.

"If you wanted to get me alone for some mind-blowing hate sex, all you had to do was ask." Chuck said, placing his hands in the pockets of his perfectly tailored suit. Damn, she couldn't help but admire him.

Though she quickly dismissed the thoughts and returned back to their business, "Are you seriously going to do that?"

"Do what?"

Blair cross her arms, drawing his attention to the soft skin. Damn, she was perfect to him, "Make the same heinous jokes and pretend that you didn't say those three little words."

He straightened his posture, "It was in the moment, it didn't mean anything."

"Oh, I'm aware," she spat out acidly. She leaned closer to him so that he could feel the full heat of her words, "Someone who loved me wouldn't make me feel like an overused object after telling me he felt something like that."

His eyes met her gaze, and she froze. They held all of the regret in the world. He had only worn that expression around her a few times, the most recent time being when he was sincerely apologizing about the fact that Nate couldn't come to her birthday. And she knew, in that moment, that she was fucked. He was going to win no matter what.

Though his voice seemed to waver, giving her hope that he was just as close to breaking as she was, "I told you that I was sorry, Blair."

"Yeah, well, I hope you are. After everything…" she stopped herself from saying what she was going to. She needed to catch her breath before she started crying. If she was honest with him, she would tell him that she had been crushed. It had hurt worse than Nate and she didn't know why. She had initially expected him to look at her like it was nothing, she had been mentally prepared for it. And then he had shown her another side of herself that she didn't know could be unlocked with a few kisses, a lot of secrets, and an overwhelmingly sense of comfort in the fact that they were the same. But she didn't say that. "…I don't know why I expected anything different."

"You don't believe that," he said, though it partially sounded like a plea rather than a declaration. He shifted his weight and took a slight step forward, "Your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth."

She gave an individual, sardonic laugh and began to shake her head slightly, "It's interesting that you claim to know me so well and still think that I wanted any part of going up to the penthouse with Nate."

"You're not giving me much else to work with, to be fair," he said coldly, "You're back with him now, it's all over the society pages. The perfect couple. Nate is more in love with you than ever and everyone is happy for you…what more could you want? You have the prince. A month ago, I would have encouraged you to seal the deal and that's what I'm doing."

"But its not a month ago and we both know that," Blair said, feeling something catch in the back of her throat. She crossed her arms and dropped her gaze, unable to look at him. She raked her fingers through her hair subconsciously, causing a few pieces to be messed up. "Everything is so different now…"

Neither of them spoke for a few moments. His mind was spinning. What did she want from him? He was receiving so many mixed signals. Though he knew nothing was ever easy with Blair, he was hoping for some clarification. "What do you want me to say, Blair?"

She sighed, "I don't know."

"Whatever you want me to say, I'll say it."

She looked up at him then, still bearing a serious expression. She didn't know what she wanted him to say. 'Hi, I do love you and I am the biggest ass that ever lived and we are going to make it work'. That wasn't happening, and she felt weird for even hoping that those words would come out of the mouth of Chuck Bass.

Serena returned to the ballroom after her phone call with Dan. He was angry that she had ended up going with Chuck after everything that had happened with him and Jenny, and he was additionally angry that she hadn't told him about it before hand. It was tedious, really, to have to explain everything to Dan. Especially when he didn't understand Blair and Serena's friendship. Really, Serena barely understood it, but it was awkward for her to explain the entire situation of Blair and Nate breaking up and getting back together to Dan, who simply wanted her to not go with anyone.

Nate was right where she'd left them, but he was alone. She knitted her brows, walked up to him, and asked, "Hey, you look lonely. Where are Chuck and Blair?"

Nate shrugged, and took a large swallow of champagne, "I don't know, they just kind of disappeared. Blair said she needed to talk to him in private."

Serena frowned, "Why would she need to talk to Chuck in private?"

"Beats me," he answered shortly, pulling something out of his pocket, "She acted all weird when he gave me the key to the penthouse for us to use tonight. I don't know if she's said anything to you about it, but…should I be worried about something? She's been acting weird all night."

Serena shook her head slightly, "Worried about Blair? No, I mean, she hasn't told me about anything of concern. But I know exactly what you mean, Chuck has been so-"

She stopped speaking abruptly as realization hit her. Chuck had been asking her for advice about a girl he seemed to like, someone that he wouldn't tell Serena specifics about. And Blair was also acting weird, and now they were off alone together…

Serena covered her mouth with her hand as she pondered the idea. Nate looked up at her, confused as to why she stopped speaking, "Serena, is something wrong?"

"No, no…I just…I bet Chuck is off drinking or something. I'd asked him to remain decently sober for the event, so I bet he's using this as an excuse to defy me," she lied, and it felt horrible coming out of her mouth. Wherever Chuck and Blair were, and whatever they were doing, Serena prayed to God that she was able to talk to B about it before anything crazy happened.

"What was going through your head when you saw me with Nate tonight?"

He inhaled sharply. He wasn't used to this. These emotions were foreign, and the words tasted strange on his tongue, but he couldn't imagine not saying them, "I wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked, and I wanted you to have the best night of your life. Even if that meant being with Nate…I wanted it for you."

She stared, feeling her lips part slightly. She'd expected him to say something very different. She'd loved Nate since kindergarten, but she couldn't honestly say that she had ever been so in love that she wanted to put his desires before her own happiness. If that had been the case, things would have ended peacefully a long time ago. It was strange that someone who had probably never experienced love in his life was a perfect example of what it looked like. And her stomach leapt.

"I…" she was at a loss for words, "Chuck, nobody has ever treated me the way you have. You know that, right?"

"What do you mean?" he asked honestly. He didn't know what things had been like between her and Nate, though he'd always figured that the blonde boy had a one up on him no matter what, considering her devotion to him.

"The night at Victrola, when we got into the limo…all I could think about was the nice things you kept saying to me. Telling me I was perfect, making sure I was comfortable. I know you, Chuck. I know you wouldn't say or do things like that when you didn't mean them." She paused long enough to watch the reflection in his eyes as he undoubtedly thought back to that night. She couldn't help but smile for a second, though quickly returned to being serious. "You're my best friend. I was never anything less than myself around you, the good and the bad. And you never shied away or made me feel like I wasn't enough. You always knew how to make me feel like enough, to feel…special. Beautiful." Loved.

Chuck was gravely silent. He was registering all of her words, and though he was very happy to hear them, he thought about how wrong he'd been. She had probably been anticipating this conversation all afternoon rather than thinking about Nate. It brought him an incredible amount of satisfaction if he was being honest, though he really wished he hadn't given Nate the key. He swallowed and said, "You've always been enough, Waldorf. It doesn't take a genius to see that."

"But it does take someone who actually pays attention to me," she said sadly, briefly looking down at her feet.

"Luckily, I do." His eyes were serious. She expected a smirk to form on his lips, but such a thing didn't happen. It was odd. She felt her body go warm and then cold. Chuck Bass could in fact be trusted. Who would have thought that she would feel more comfortable in his attention than in Nate's? She forced her expression to remain serious rather than breaking out in a girlish grin. He did know her. In a lot of ways, he was her. Only child of a now single parent, ready to lead the world without a single soul to feel love and acceptance from. In that moment, as their attire didn't match and their dates were elsewhere, she felt both of those. She felt home.

But it wasn't in her nature to plainly admit it. She smirked, her pulse quickening. She couldn't help herself as she teased, "Interesting. Under different circumstances I would ask you to prove yourself, Bass."

He completely adapted to the tone of her voice, and he became all too aware of how close they were standing. She was pale, but slightly flushed, which mirrored the way she'd appeared the night after destroying Celina's dress. Much to his chagrin, he felt his pants grow tight. "You can appreciate that I have a specific gift for paying attention to detail when I want something." She blushed, her innocence showing once again.

She bit her lip slightly, noticing the loose strands of hair that had fallen in front of her face. She pulled them away, Chuck watching her all the while, "And you never thought you were wanting in vain?"

Chuck blinked, pondering what she was asking him, "Well, I would have, had the object of my affection acted as such."

Blair nodded. She'd given him her body easily, though her mind had been more of a challenge. Indeed, she was still fighting him on that one outwardly, though knew that her efforts were useless, "But I mean before…you know."

"You're asking why I continued to want you while you were with Nate all those years," Chuck said, unashamed that he had admitted that he'd felt certain attractions toward her even before that fateful night.

"Yes."

"At first it was just simple desire…you were untouched and innocent, and I don't know why but I was intrigued by the idea of turning such an angel to the dark side," he said softly, his lips close enough that she could nearly taste the words on his tongue, "But it was different. You had the look of an angel, but the tongue of one who would never stop to let the world know you were more than that. You were elegant, but you were powerful. Plus, you were unobtainable, and the idea of that obviously creates a certain sexual tension. But even after you weren't you were…everything. I can't explain it. You surprised me and nobody has ever done that."

"Well we are all full of surprises, I suppose. I didn't expect you to be the way you are either." She bit her lip again, trying to steer the conversation away from the thought of being on top of him. She could smell his particular scent and it make her head spin. Blair cleared her throat and asked, "How many times have you said that to someone?"

Three little words. Chuck's expression slowly but surely tensed, and he wet his lips, "You already know the answer to that, don't pretend otherwise," he was right, she never would've believed someone if they had said that Chuck Bass loved someone. Let alone in a setting that involved no sex whatsoever.

He looked down at her pensive expression, noticing how her lips slightly twitched as he spoke. She was like a beautiful rose that had been waiting to be picked all her life, just to find out that it felt completely different than she thought it would.

Blair looked up at him only to find that he was searching her face without holding back. There was something there that resembled helplessness and she loved him for it. Her lips tightened, and she thought about how it would feel to just lean forward and kiss him, just once. Just long enough to see if the chemistry was all that she'd thought it was for the past month.

He wanted to comfort her more than anything. After all, she was his best friend, and there was nothing that he wouldn't do for her. However, as their faces seemed to instinctively grow closer, he was sure that the energy flowing between their bodies was more than just friendly.

Before she could do anything to stop him, Blair felt Chuck's lips crash down on her own. It was a perfect kiss that knocked the wind out of her lungs and replaced it with a sudden warmth. She moaned against him, which caused him to wrap one arm around her waist possessively. Her hand flew up to grasp his arm and pull him into her, which felt way more natural than it should have, given the circumstances.

Chuck's tongue coaxed her lips open and it took everything in her not to melt right then and there. This is what she wanted. This fire, this passion, this undeniable sense of yearning that she felt whenever she was in his presence. It was everything she never knew she needed with Nate. As she continued to kiss him, she thought about how different things would have been if Chuck had kissed her a long time ago.

There was a nagging feeling in her chest that made her regret what they were doing in the stairwell. This was not how things were supposed to go. She wanted so badly to wrap her arms around his neck and lose herself in the motions that his tongue would surely perform, but there was so much wrong with the situation. There were so many things that needed to change before she could have what she wanted. She froze, mid-kiss, and pulled away so that she was looking at him again.

Whatever was going to happen later in the night, Nate wasn't going to be a part of it. She was sure of that. And while she knew that Nate didn't deserve full loyalty, he did deserve some honesty about how she was feeling. She would just have to remove Chuck from the speech and pretend that she was simply over him because she no longer loved him. If she ever really loved him in the first place, that is.

She glanced around the stairwell. It clearly wasn't meant for patrons. It was small and plain, the stairs narrow. She pursed her lips, satisfied in the conversation, and opened the door to rejoin society in the hallway. She was far from finished, though it would have to wait. Nate was in the other room, no doubt completely confused by what was going on. She would have to see to him before she did anything else. There were one or two people she recognized in the hallway, distinguished guests of the establishment that were too tipsy or too preoccupied in important conversations to pay them any attention. Perfect.

"Thank you for the talk, Chuck," Blair said genuinely, "I think we should get back."

Chuck's face remained calm, but on the inside, he was panicking. Was it really that simple for her? She thanked him for treating her well, flirted unnecessarily, and then was ready to return back to the ballroom as if none of it had happened. He swallowed. It really was over for them. He couldn't help but feel a sudden sense of depression.

Blair took a few steps forward, though before Chuck could curse himself completely, she turned over one shoulder and spoke softly, "I have to talk to Nate…tell him that I can't do this."

"Why would you do that?" Chuck asked, perking up slightly at the glimmer of hope in her words. He lifted his arm to her as to not draw attention from anyone in the hallway. With the small gesture, it would seem like the two had just stepped out casually for a moment of conversation, which wasn't untrue.

Unfortunately for both of them, they didn't see the little blonde in the corner of the hallway who had watched the entire scene and taken a photo for further emphasis. Chuck and Blair had disappeared in a small, private stairwell for several minutes and came out looking relieved and slightly disheveled. After all, Blair's hair was messed up and Chuck was wearing an expression of wonder as he looked down at her.

Blair sighed as they walked on to return to the ballroom, "Don't act so dense, Bass. It doesn't suit you."

Remembering that she was a little tipsy, Blair tripped over the hem of her dress, causing them both to tense up. She clutched his hand quickly, holding on to it as though it alone was going to keep everyone from noticing. The skin on skin contact caused them both to inhale sharply, but neither said anything.

She released him altogether and stalked into the ballroom, her cheeks flushed from either embarrassment or Chuck or both. He smirked to himself and followed her in. Things were looking up, and while he felt bad about the undoubtedly poor situation for Nathaniel, he couldn't help but take a selfish pleasure in knowing that he meant more to her than she'd admitted earlier.

Nate and Serena were talking casually. Serena looked extremely distressed, probably over another Dan Humphrey 'the world is so unfair' meltdown. Blair smiled slightly as she walked up to them, tucking some of the strands behind her ears and saying simply, "What did I miss? Is everything alright with you?"

"B, I really need to talk to you about something when you get the chance…"

Nate looked at Chuck uneasily as the girls conversed about seemingly irrelevant things. Chuck could feel his best friend's eyes on him, though he pretended not to notice. Nate whispered, "So, what was up with Blair? What was the super-secret thing she needed to talk to you about?"

"It just…regarded plans for tonight," was all he could manage. It wasn't technically a lie, and Nate and Serena had both praised him for making sure Blair was ok during the break-up period. It wasn't really out of the question that she would talk to him about things she was worried about. He nodded once, satisfied with his answer, and waited for Nate to say something else. He prayed his best friend had bought it.

Chuck's phone went off in his jacket pocket, and he was thrilled to have a distraction until everyone else around him also received a message. Oh no.

You never know what skeletons are hiding in the closet, but what we DO know is that Chuck and Blair were. What do we think Nate has to say about this? Could it be possible that B has been dipping her toe in other ponds only to catch a Bass?

Attached was a picture of them exiting the stairwell. Chuck felt all of the color drain from his face, because he could easily admit that they looked suspicious as hell.

Nate said nothing. He had so many things running through his head, and so many questions fighting to voice themselves first. It couldn't be true, right? His best friend and his girlfriend…there was just no way they would ever do that to him. But the way that neither of them said a word immediately following the gossip girl blast made his stomach lurch.

"What the fuck is this?" was the delicate question that managed to get out first. He couldn't help it. Nobody said anything, and all eyes in the ballroom turned toward the four of them. Nate continued, "Blair, answer me."

His voice was barely above a whisper, but it was so dangerously low that she wanted to cry. Blair swallowed, ignoring all of the prying eyes and focusing on the fact that there was no way to come back from this. It was finished. Nate knew.

Serena stood there, her facial expression clouded as though she was trying to figure out if it made sense or not. Nate turned to her for some help, for some clarification if she could provide any, but her blue eyes were just as surprised as his were. In a way, it was comforting to know that Serena hadn't been keeping it from him, but in a way, he knew it meant that it was far worse than anyone knew. If Blair hadn't even told Serena…

Blair looked as though someone had just shot her, and Chuck wore no expression. The dark-haired boy simply stared down at the ground in an extremely guilty fashion, and that was all the answer Nate needed. His eyes widened as he processed it.

What happened next was like a blur. He felt every emotion he could possibly feel about it. Two of the people who meant the most to him had betrayed him. He felt angry, he felt sad, he felt confused, and he felt stupid for not catching on to something that they had obviously been hiding for longer than just the night of Cotillion.

And then it dawned on him. The night that they had broken up, Blair had gone to Victrola with Chuck. The next morning, gossip girl had posted the picture of Blair in her slip, suggesting she'd been with someone…

And when Nate had walked in on their conversation during rehearsal…

And Chuck being so willing to take Blake to Cotillion in Nate's place…

It all bubbled up. It took Nate exactly two seconds to close the space between him and Chuck and punch his best friend square in the jaw.

"Nate!" Blair cried, attempting to grab his arm to prevent him from punching Chuck again. However, the dark-haired boy needed no help, and promptly shoved Nate back onto a table. Glasses fell to the ground and shattered, fulling commanding the attention of everyone in the room who hadn't previously been looking at them.

"Stop, Nathaniel, this isn't the time or the place," Chuck said, trying to stay as quiet as possible with Nate attempting to free himself and swing on him. His jaw immediately grew sore, but he had to pretend it didn't in order to pay enough attention to hold Nate down.

Blair just covered her face with her hands and cried, "Nate, nothing happened in the stairwell, I swear!"

"Not in the stairwell? So somewhere else?" Nate looked at her with wild eyes and an overall expression that made her shut up immediately. He turned to Chuck, his voice dripping with hatred, "Did you sleep with her, huh? You son of a bitch. I could kill you. What'd you do? Did you get what you wanted? Like you do with all those other girls?"

Chuck was getting angry, then. His nostrils began to flare and he just said in a terrifying voice, "It wasn't like that."

"Oh, so you cared about her?" Nate's movements began to slow, though it was only because he knew it wasn't going to work and Chuck was going to continue to restrain him. He turned back to Blair and yelled, "And you? What the hell, Blair? How long have you been lying to me saying it was your dream to come with me tonight?"

Blair's eyes were full of tears of embarrassment and regret about letting things get this far with Nate. If only her pride hadn't been scorned hearing Chuck and Serena talking in her foyer, maybe things wouldn't have gotten out. But she couldn't think about that now, because everyone was staring at her and Chuck had done a poor job at playing it off like they hadn't had sex. "It wasn't a lie…it was my dream, but after everything that's been happening, I just…"

Chuck looked at her, and his eyes communicated that he wanted to help her but also that he had no idea what to do. Serena came over to Blair's side and suggested, "Maybe we should talk this elsewhere before it gets out of hand."

"Does this look like it's still in hand, S?" Blair said through teary eyes. Even with her world crumbling down, she didn't lose her biting wit.

Chuck was still trying to calm down Nate, who was acting as though he'd probably been drinking the entire time Blair and Chuck were in the stairwell. The dark-haired boy simply said, "Nathaniel, this isn't what it looks like, really…I wasn't trying to…"

"You weren't trying to what? Help my girlfriend cheat on me? At an event where everyone we know is at? I mean, I've always known you were reckless, but I had hopes that you weren't completely heartless," he shoved Chuck back, regaining some composure. Chuck flinched a little as Nate straightened his jacket, prepared for him to swing again if he decided to. Nate looked at Blair with a pained expression and said, "This makes no sense. I have been trying to live up to your expectations for years and it's impossible…and you decide to cheat on me with, what? The Upper East Sides infamous play boy who will use you and throw you away?"

Blair scoffed slightly, "Nate, you have it all wrong-"

At the same time Chuck said, "You weren't dating."

B shot him a dirty look, wishing he would keep his mouth shut before he campaigned the entirety of their not-relationship to everyone they knew. She sighed, wiped a tear that was falling down her cheek, and pleaded, "Just, please let me explain, please. I never cheated on you with Chuck…when we broke up I was confused and I didn't know who I was or what I was doing, and Chuck was one of my best friends and he was always there to help..."

Chuck was watching her with extremely apologetic eyes and lifting a hand to the jaw that Nate had punched. She met his gaze and fell silent. It was a terrible situation to be in and yet, she regretted nothing. She felt a pull towards Chuck. She felt bad about the way things had been made known to Nate, but she still wanted Chuck. He'd healed parts of her that she hadn't known were broken, and they had been broken for much longer than her break up with Nate. He'd taught her that she was worthy of approval from her mother, that she deserved better than someone who had always loved her best friend, and that she was the rightful Queen of the Upper East Side as long as she believed she was.

She turned back to Nate, intertwined her fingers, and knew that the next words she spoke were going to change everything, "I love him, Nate."

Hey Upper East Siders! Did you miss me? Unfortunately it has been an absolutely CRAZY year for me, but one of the readers recently really inspired me to keep the fics alive! I hope you all enjoyed this, and hopefully will be able to finish it soon! As always, feedback is welcome, even if you hated it

Xoxo,

Mina