The two women walked down the stone steps that curved around the cliff edge in silence, each of them trying to gather their thoughts. As they reached the sand, they walked slowly towards the shoreline, side by side, and wordlessly Callie reached out for the blonde to take her hand. They stared out into the ocean, the clear night meaning that the lights of the town behind them were reflected in the water.

"It is…so weird, to be back here" Arizona stated truthfully.

"There's a lot of memories on this beach" the brunette commented.

"Yeah…most of them good…I think. Some of them are a little hazy"

Callie chuckled "Too much Havana Club?"

"Only when you were involved"

"Oh, so there were times you got drunk down here without me?" the brunette asked with mock incredulity.

"As if" Arizona laughed "you would've never missed a chance to get drunk on the beach"

"So true"

Feeling the blonde squeeze her hand, Callie felt immediately comfortable with the silence that followed as both women looked out across the water.

"Sometimes I forget how peaceful it can be down here" the brunette said softly.

"You've been to enough wild beach parties that it's probably understandable"

"I think I like this better"

Arizona let the words hand in the air for a few moments before speaking again "Can I ask you a random question?"

"Given that it's you, I sense that it'll be anything but random, but sure, go ahead"

"Did you…did you take Eduardo's name when you got married?"

"Wow" Callie laughed in genuine bemusement "definitely didn't see that coming. Erm no, as a matter of fact I didn't. What made you ask?"

"Just a few people have called you Torres since I've been back, so it just made me wonder…"

"Well that's still me" Callie tugged on the blonde's hand, turning at the same time so that they ended up facing one another "I'm still Callie Torres"

"I can see that" Arizona smiled.

The brunette bit her lip, trying to fight back the tears at the thoughts crossing her mind "Do you ever wonder…"

"Yes"

The word hung in the air between them. While part of them felt like nothing had changed in the last ten years, that they were still the two young women infatuated with one another, they knew that wasn't true. There were so many things that were still left unsaid, so much that each other needed to understand.

Callie stared up at the night sky "Sometimes I look at the stars and think of you, you know?"

The blonde lifted her gaze so that she was focusing on the same spot "Like how they're always there, no matter where you are?"

"Yeah" the brunette swallowed the lump forming in her throat "and I remember Tim telling us that, right before he signed up to the army"

Arizona laughed gently despite the tears in her eyes "He totally did. I remember him pointing out the constellations, and I'm still not convinced he wasn't totally bullshitting. But then he said that wherever he was, and wherever we were, we'd all be looking at the same stars"

"And that's what I thought about when I used to look at them. Like…I didn't know where you were, but I knew that if I looked at the stars, I'd be looking at the same ones as you were, and so it made me feel a little bit closer to you. God…I've never said that out loud before, and it makes me sound totally lame"

"It really doesn't"

The sincerity in the blonde's words made Callie drop her gaze to make eye contact with her. She bit her lip, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I can't begin to imagine what you're going through" the brunette said softly "but I want you to know that I miss Tim too. You're not alone in feeling that there's an…emptiness, where he's supposed to be"

Arizona stepped forward, wrapping her arms around the brunette "You have no idea how much that means to me, and I think you've explained it better than I ever could"

"It's ok to be hurting, you know?"

"I know, I just…" Arizona took a deep breath "sometimes I just wonder about how different things would have been if he'd never enlisted. Not just that he wouldn't have died, but that if hadn't have been gone…maybe things would have been different"

"Would they have been?"

The blonde looked out across the ocean "I honestly don't know"

There was a long pause before Arizona spoke again.

"I think Tim would have wanted me to be on this beach tonight"

"I think Tim would be behind you telling you that he made out with Addison on this beach long before you ever even knew what making out was" the brunette countered.

"No way" Arizona took a step backwards and looked back incredulously "Tim and Addison, seriously?"

"So she says" Callie shrugged "Apparently we weren't the only sophomores who busted their way into a senior party"

"God, I can't believe Tim and his ego ever managed to keep that a secret from me"

"We all have our secrets Arizona"

Callie's words hung between them for what seemed like hours, even though it was probably a minute at most. In that time, the two women subtly refused to look at each other, both instead staring out across the water as though there was something particularly interesting that caught their eye.

"I hate this" Arizona blinked back the tears.

The brunette scoffed but devoid of any humour "Believe me, I hate this too. More than that, I hate me right now"

The blonde's head shot round, her eyes narrowing "What do you mean, you hate you?"

"You know what, maybe I phrased it wrong. I hate what you've made me"

"I don't understand"

"Of course you don't" the brunette laughed ironically "how could you?"

"Please…please explain to me"

"I…" Callie took a deep breath, trying to gather herself "I'm a good person, a loyal person. I'm married, Arizona. And no matter what you, or anyone else, thinks of that marriage, I made a vow. A vow that I hadn't even contemplated breaking until you walked back into my life. And you….you've made me into a cheater. A fucking cheater. Something which I swore to God, on every possible level, that I would never ever be. And yet the second I see you, every moral, every value that I have, seems to disappear. Because I can't be around you without wanting to kiss you, without feeling every fucking feeling I felt ten years ago before you disappeared"

"Callie, I…" the blonde reached out a hand momentarily and then withdrew it, second guessing herself.

"You what, Arizona?"

"I'm going to be honest now, not that I'm sure it will help, but I want you to know that you're not the only one who's feeling that way. I…I'm seeing someone"

"What?" the brunette's brow furrowed in confusion.

"I know it's not the same, you're married and I'm in some casual kind of arrangement, but I made a deal that we'd always say something if we became attracted to someone else. And yet here I am, standing here with you, and I…it's like nobody else has ever existed. It's like I…I crave you. Like you're some kind of drug that the second I'm exposed to you, all I want is more"

"Don't" Callie pleaded "please don't"

"I'm not trying to align our situations Callie, I'm just trying to say it's not as black and white as it seems. It isn't only you who's conflicted"

"Sure" the brunette scoffed "let's compare cheating on your husband to kissing someone when you're casually fucking someone else…seriously Arizona, do you have any sense of reality at all?"

"I'm sorry" Arizona tried to soften her tone, reaching out a hand that was immediately rebuffed.

"Sure you are. Because you get it, right? You get how it is to be totally in love with someone, have them disappear without a word, then you totally rebuild your life including marrying someone who actually sticks around, and then bam, in walks your first love, straight back into your life, with no mention of how or why they left, and despite every fucking instinct in your body telling you to stay away, that they're gonna hurt you again, and you tell yourself you're gonna stay away, but you can't. You can't because you see their fucking face and all you want to do is cry, and tell them how much you love them, how much you've always loved them. And how the second they look at you, all you want to do is rip their clothes off and make love to them. Even though you're married. I don't even know how many more times I can say it, but really actually fucking married. So don't you dare even begin to pretend you understand"

"I didn't…I mean I don't…" the blonde stammered.

"You don't understand Arizona, you don't understand at all"

"I never said I understood" the blonde gritted her teeth "I was just trying to tell you that you're not the only one who's conflicted, that this isn't straight forward for me either"

"Thanks" Callie replied sarcastically "but that really doesn't make me feel any better, only now I also have the image of you fucking someone else. Is that why you left? Were you fucking someone else then too?"

"Callie" the blonde reached out, grabbing Callie's hand before she had a chance to protest "I wasn't fucking someone else. I wasn't even thinking about someone else. You have to believe me"

"No I don't" Callie snatched her hand away "right now I don't have to believe a word you say"

"Please" Arizona begged "please don't assume the worst of me"

The brunette paused, considering what she had heard. When she spoke again, her tone was much softer, as though she were afraid someone else would hear "I've never assumed the worst of you Ari, in fact, if you want to criticise me, it would be for the fact that I've always assumed the best in people, most of all you"

"I didn't…"

"Please" Callie interrupted her "please don't make a fool of me any more than you already have done. I shouldn't have let this happen, I should have known that the second I came to see you all the old feelings would come flooding back, and more importantly, that you would raise my hopes back up again before you fucking squashed them into the ground like they were nothing"

"Callie" the blonde half-shouted, wanting Callie to understand the severity of her feelings at that moment "since I have been back , have I ever given any indication that I wasn't feeling the same way that you are? Or one vague suggestion that I was stringing you along in any way?"

"No" came the whispered response.

"Good" Arizona grabbed both of the brunette's hands, squeezing them tightly "because I want you to know that I feel this, everything you said about loving me, about wanting to rip my clothes off…" she paused to make sure that Callie was looking into her eyes "about wanting to make love to me. I feel those things too. And most importantly, the first one. I don't think you would ever doubt the physical effect that you have on me, but I mean it when I say that I fucking love you Callie Torres"

Callie held onto the blonde's hands for a few moments before gradually backing away and releasing her grip.

"No you don't Arizona" she whispered, before turning around and walking back across the sand.

"I do!" the blonde shouted after her "I love you!"

"No!" Callie screamed, stopping her tracks but not turning round "You left! If you loved me, you would never have fucking left me!"

There was a long pause as Callie gathered herself and Arizona stood still, clenching her fists.

"I LEFT TO PROTECT YOU!"