A/N: Warnings for: shinobi-typical Friendly Violence and Threats, discussion of past canon traumas (Karin's multiple stabbings), and glossed-over political nonsense

One fine morning, he steps into the Hokage tower, and a mission scroll hits his chest at terminal velocity.

He catches it as it falls down, rubs a little at his poor, abused Jounin vest—okay, so it wasn't thrown that hard—and looks up to see Kanna grinning at him in a way he last saw on Karin's face while explaining how she gained a minion.

"Suit up, bitch, we're going to Suna."

Wait what?

He checks the mission scroll.

The mission scroll is blank.

He looks up to see that Kanna's still grinning, like an asshole, and standing there with her hands on her hips.

"So… what's actually going on?" He asks.

"Oh no, we're absolutely going to Suna," Kanna tells him. "I just wanted to throw something at you."

"Why?"

"Because I'm bored and nobody will spar with me," she tells him without missing a beat. She jerks her head towards the stairs. "C'mon, everyone else is already upstairs."

"How many people is 'everyone?'" Kakashi asks, cautiously following her up. "And why not send for me instead of just randomly hoping I'll come in when you're already here?"

"Sensor."

"That cannot be your answer for everything."

"Sure it can," she dismisses. "You were due to come in for a mission anyway, and most of the people who were needed for this were already in the building. All I did was give them a heads up when you were finally on your way."

"That's not fair," Kakashi argues, because he feels a tad like being childish and petulant.

"What, you wanna argue about fair after the lives we've lived?" Kanna scoffs. "Jackass."

"I don't see how that makes me a jackass," Kakashi points out. It's not even petty. "My life wasn't all that pretty either, and I'm pretty sure some people would say something about how playing the misery tournament solves nothing and only encourages us to downplay or romanticize our own suffering in ways that are harmful to our long term growth."

"Oh good, you've been going to therapy," Kanna remarks. "Sakura'll be pleased."

Kakashi pouts behind his mask. It doesn't matter that Kanna can't see it. He still does.

She opens the doors to the Hokage's office, grinning brightly, and gestures him in.

He pauses, looks her up and down, and says, "I don't trust you."

"I mean, that's probably better for your continued survival," Kanna says. She follows him into the room, hands tucked behind her and while she's standing on his blind side, he can feel the smugness coming off her in waves.

He knows about half the people here personally, and the other half he at least recognizes. Genma's here, and Tenzō. Akimichi Chōza isn't someone Kakashi spends a lot of time with, but he can name a few neutral-to-pleasant conversations they've had. Kanna is… Kanna. There's a career Chuunin that works the missions desk sometimes, late-thirties and going grey at the temples, Miya-something. A kunoichi from a minor clan, blonde hair, maybe early thirties? Kakashi thinks she's a Tokubetsu Jounin, but he can't remember ever speaking with her. Another kunoichi, this one a Chuunin, and Kakashi's pretty sure she's a Sarutobi; he remembers talking with her a bit at Asuma's twentieth birthday party.

The Sandaime gives them a few seconds to size each other up and get an idea of what they're working with, and then says, "This team has been handpicked for a diplomatic trip to Suna."

Wow, that is a terrible idea.

Kakashi doesn't say it, but he can feel at least two sets of eyes on him.

Why would they send the son of the White Fang to Suna?

Why would anyone think this is a good idea?

"Hokage-sama," Chōza says, after a few seconds make it clear that elaboration isn't coming. "Is such a large team really required? Suna is an ally, and it's peacetime. Is a team of eight not an aggressive move?"

"Normally, yes," the Sandaime says. "Unfortunately, there are multiple angles to this trip. Kimiko-san, if you may?"

The Sarutobi girl steps forward and turns around sharply to face them. Ah, right, she's with Intelligence. "Suna's economic status has been faltering recently, as their Daimyou pushes more missions to other villages and independent operators. Their current state puts them in a vulnerable enough condition that they may take opportunities to ally with someone other than Konoha and turn on us if they believe it will help them bolster their village.

"Recent intelligence suggests that Orochimaru of the Densetsu no Sannin has been making moves to propose such an alliance following his recent expulsion from the criminal group Akatsuki. We believe that he has several spies in Suna, and likely in Konoha as well. He has motive to encourage Sunagakure to turn on the alliance, and previous actions by Orochimaru have demonstrated his skill at manipulation of both individuals and organizations. Given that the Daimyou of Wind may have been choosing to outsource their higher-ranking missions to Akatsuki, Orochimaru's knowledge of the organization may be used as leverage in negotiations, especially as we have received word that he was formerly partnered to Akasuna no Sasori.

"While Konoha's army is no doubt more robust than Suna's, we must acknowledge that Orochimaru's knowledge of our village, especially given his part in building many of our defenses, leaves us at a higher risk than is usual. To that end, the Intelligence department has worked with Hokage-sama to develop a series of trade deals and offers that may benefit both Konoha and Suna, and dissuade our allies from turning on us in favor of a new participant. While half of the team will be engaged in standard negotiation, we plan for the remaining half to negotiate with individual departments."

She returns to her place in the row, and Kakashi wonders how and when all this information had come in. Was it from the fallout with Danzō? Had Jiraiya come across a particularly juicy contact? Was there a traitor in Orochimaru's ranks?

Whatever the case, Kimiko has more than outlined why this trip is so important.

Still. Son of the White Fang. Kakashi's job is not to question the Hokage, but he really, really wants to right now.

"There are dossiers and priority reports waiting for you in meeting room 3B," the Hokage tells them. "Several of you have additional mission objectives. The commanding officer is Akimichi-san. You have two hours to read, discuss, and plan. We will reconvene at that time, at which point you may ask for clarification on any concerning or vague points. This is a very important mission, and I request that you all take it as seriously as it deserves."

Kakashi still wants to ask who thought sending him to Suna was a good idea.

"Dismissed."

#

"Isn't Suna the exact opposite of those air-conditioned labs you're so fond of?" Kakashi asks.

Kanna shrugs. "I got shit to do."

Which, like, yeah.

Fair.

But also, he kind of wants to know why she's on this mission. He can guess, but still.

"I have no idea why I'm on this mission," Kakashi admits, once they're all seated and the privacy seals are in place. "Half of Suna might try to kill me on sight."

"It's because you're going to steal all their women with your mysterious aura of attraction," Kanna tells him.

"Uh, no."

She elbows him and grabs a wrapped candy from the center of the table. Nobody ever takes the wrapped candies, except civilians. Everyone's too worried about poison.

Kanna is not worried about poison.

"So…" Kakashi drawls. "You're going to be talking to their R&D team, I'm guessing?"

"What makes you so sure I'm not on the main team?"

"Kanna, I greatly appreciate your presence in my life, but I have seen you talk to Hokage-sama the way you talk to your lab assistants. I would not trust you with a diplomatic trip to speak with the Kazekage."

She punches him in the arm. "Rude."

"True."

"You kids done?" Genma asks drily, and Kakashi does not let himself look like an errant genin. "Kakashi, you're on this mission as a deterrent. If anyone asks, you and Tenzō are in the team primarily as guards for Chōza."

Kakashi looks at Chōza, the man who was a Jounin with an international reputation before Kakashi was even born.

Well. Even the Hokage brings guards.

"It also says here, quite explicitly, that you're there to stop Uzumaki-san from causing an international incident," Chōza says, and Kakashi immediately looks over at Kanna.

She snorts and tilts her chair back onto two legs. "He can't control me."

Kakashi points at Kanna and turns to look at Chōza. "I can't control her."

"Hokage-sama is sure you'll figure something out," Chōza says, which is rather pointedly not a glowing recommendation of his own. The Hokage thinks Kakashi will figure something out. Chōza does not.

"Um," Tenzō says, raising a hand like they're back in ANBU and need to make it clear who's speaking since the masks hide everything. "What… what is the redacted additional mission?"

Kimiko looks over, frowning. "There shouldn't be any redacted missions for you. We'd hoped to include the greenhouses in the trip and offer Suna a way to—"

"No, it's—" Chōza cuts himself off, and the look on his face is pale. He abruptly stands. "Uzumaki, Tenzō, can I speak with you in the anteroom?"

Kanna drops her chair onto all four legs and stands up. She doesn't look surprised. "Oh, we're doing this now?"

"Doing what now?" Miyamoto asks. Kakashi checks his page. Oh right, admin at the Academy.

"It's redacted," Kanna says, and it's almost a coo. Kakashi wants to remind her that nobody here is a direct subordinate of hers, and he's pretty sure he's the only friend she's got in the room. He's not entirely sure she'd listen.

The anteroom is hidden behind a privacy seal, one of Kanna's own, and Kakashi waits. He reads the pages in his file, and doesn't talk to anyone. Genma catches his eye at one point, jerks his head at the door and raises an eyebrow, but Kakashi just shrugs.

There are a handful of things that Tenzō and Kanna would both be needed for. If they're lucky, it's tracking down and neutralizing a particularly dangerous nukenin, except Kakashi would be on that team if it were. If Tenzō's unlucky, then it's to demonstrate just why allying with Orochimaru would be a bad idea, sacrificing his mental health in order to recount the horrors of the labs.

If they're all unlucky… well, Kakashi knows what Mokuton and chakra chains are good for.

Kakashi thinks that, given how sick Chōza looks as the three reenter the room, it's probably that last one. Tenzō's expression is wooden, pun entirely intended.

Kanna just looks bored.

(Kakashi wants to laugh hysterically for a moment, because of course their own Jinchuuriki's cousin knows what to do. Of course Kanna's ready for this. She's probably studied Jinchuuriki seals ever since Naruto came to live with her. Of course she's ready for any Jinchuuriki issues.)

(Fuck.)

#

The first time Kakashi sees Kanna's torso, it's at a mixed-gender hot springs a few towns before they leave Fire Country.

It's one of the ones that requires bathing suits for use of the springs, but Kakashi figures that's not that uncommon for the kinds that don't separate by gender. Usually he can find those a bit further north, closer to Lightning or Earth, but it's not so uncommon as to be a surprise.

The thing is, Kakashi knows Kanna by now. She's got her secrets, plenty of them, but Kakashi likes to think that he knows her better than most of Konoha. Not the best, of course, because Sakura exists, but he knows Kanna.

He's never seen her without a shirt that covers everything.

Kanna doesn't wear short sleeves. She doesn't wear low necklines. She doesn't do cropped hems. Kanna covers her torso and arms and a bit of her neck, and it's just one of those things. A lot of kunoichi are like that, for a whole variety or reasons.

As Kakashi stares in mild, hopefully hidden horror, Kanna settles into the same spring as him and leans back, closing her eyes and sighing.

Kakashi is not the only member of their team in the hot springs.

Nobody… asks, really. Not immediately. Kakashi tries to lean back and close his visible eye, relaxing instead of staring. He's pretty sure Genma and Tenzō's slightly-too-loud conversation about favorite senbon brands is an attempt to distract themselves. Chōza is a married man and, to the best of Kakashi's knowledge, has had his back turned the entire time. The others, he's not sure about.

"Hiroshi," Kanna's voice interrupts Genma and Tenzō's conversation, bringing a quiet down on the little set of springs. Kakashi opens his eye, and sees that she's still got her own closed. "Kimiko. I can fucking feel you staring."

Kimiko swears quietly, and Miyamoto Hiroshi makes the executive decision to ask the question that everyone is avoiding. They're avoiding it for good reason.

"But how did—"

"Shut up," Kanna says. She does not open her eyes. She points to the smaller of two massive scars. "The guy I was in love with stabbed through me to get revenge on an ancient dirtbag."

Kakashi's brain stalls out.

She points to the bigger one. "Loyal follower to a megalomaniac stabbed me with… well, it's not important what it was, just that you know it was about the width of my goddamn head."

Kakashi's brain stalls out harder.

"Okay," Miyamoto says, because he apparently has no self-preservation. "Um, I mean, what I actually wanted to ask was how you survived."

"I'm really, really bad at dying," Kanna says. She opens her eyes and lifts her head, and stares straight at the man as she says, "And if you ask another question, we'll see if you're as bad at it as I am."

Hiroshi doesn't say anything else. Kakashi can't see him, but he imagines the man looks terrified. Nobody else is talking either.

Kakashi's mouth moves before he thinks. "If you can see anything at all."

Kanna faces him, and the question is… not a question. "What."

"I mean, you left your glasses in the locker room," Kakashi tries to explain. "I've seen your prescription. You're the other kind of half blind. I can't see out of half my face without dying, and you can't see out of either eye without walking into a wall."

"You know, it's times like these I wish I had the Hozuki back," Kanna tells him. "Because then I could obliterate your face and not have to worry about the cleanup."

That's as good as 'you're forgiven' from Kanna, so Kakashi just smiles at her and settles back.

He tries not to think about how the hole in Kanna's chest is probably bigger than the one he put in Rin's.

#

They reach Suna without further incident, though Watanabe, the last kunoichi in the group, seems annoyed that she missed whatever the drama was. She keeps pestering Kimiko about it. They leave Kanna alone for the most part, and Kakashi's relieved. If someone had asked Kanna about the other scars, there would have been hell to pay. He hasn't actually see anyone ask about the bite scars before, if only because so very few people see them—Kakashi's only seen them a handful of times, and that's because Kanna wore something a little less covering while cooking—but he's pretty sure those would get a much more violent reaction than the stabbings.

Kanna spends the nights scrawling in a sketchbook, eyes focused so intently that Kakashi would worry for her safety if she were alone and anyone other than herself. She seems oblivious to the world around her, curled forward and furious at the pad balanced against her knees. She keeps her back to a tree, makes herself a small target, but none of it really matters. Kakashi's sure that, even asleep, she'd feel an approaching enemy faster than the person on watch.

He doesn't voice this, because their erstwhile teammates would only cause drama, probably. Some of them might believe her, but the general response would probably be doubt. Kanna is foreign and new to the forces. She came to Konoha less than a year ago, and her sensor skills are much harder to gauge than her wife's healing.

Kakashi jokes about it to Genma the night before they arrive in Suna, and is met with a snort.

Genma was on that highly-sensitive nukenin retrieval a last month. He knows the lay of the land, has been behind Kanna as she skipped the contacts and scent trails and infiltration, and just shot straight towards the man in question, crossing from country to country with only minimal allowances for terrain and legality. Genma was there.

Genma doesn't trust her, but he's seen the proof. Kakashi hasn't seen the proof, but he trusts her.

Chōza trusts them, and so he believes the Hokage's claim about the sensor in their team.

The irony of it all is that however skilled she is at this, however close she is to being the literal best on the continent for this ability, it's the one thing in her arsenal that doesn't matter to the mission.

Not even the redacted mission that she and Tenzō and Chōza all refuse to talk about.

#

So, like.

The initial meeting with the Kazekage goes well enough.

Chōza does introductions as the mission commander and primary diplomat, and Genma's his second. Kakashi tries to ignore the glares from the people around him. After the initial conversations, they're asked to split. Chōza, Kakashi, and Tenzō stay with the Kazekage for further general discussion, and Kimiko sticks with them. Watanabe Chinatsu is a medic with enough experience on all levels of the hospital to actually have a productive time going over possible exchanges of staff and medical conferences, while Miyamoto Hiroshi's administrative and teaching experience in the Academy mean he's whisked off to chat about curriculums. Neither of them are going to get enough detail to actually more forward, not yet, but the foot is in the door.

Genma is technically a specialist in assassination and infiltration. Neither of these things are polite to bring up on a diplomacy mission, but poison is, so Genma is set to accompany Kanna to R&D.

"Genma!" Kakashi calls before the two follow a director of something or other out of the room.

The man in question turns back, one eyebrow quirked. "Hm?"

"Don't let her make any of the lab techs cry," Kakashi tells him, because that's a smidge more polite than the 'don't let her cause an international incident' that they used on the trip over.

Kanna rolls her eyes, but Genma actually chuckles. "Didn't you know? Almost half of Suna's R&D is poisons, Hatake. Their projects will kill them before Uzumaki's lectures on fume hoods do."

"Ugh, let's go," Kanna snaps, and her hair fans out behind her as she whips around to storm out.

Hm. Maybe Kakashi took the joke too far.

The Kazekage doesn't look impressed when Kakashi meets hie eyes again. Rasa is a generally unimpressed man, from what Kakashi knows of him, but there's an edge to it now.

"Should I assume that Uzumaki-san has made many in Konoha cry?" he asks.

"Less than in the place she was at before," Kakashi says. "She has some strong opinions about people cutting corners on lab safety."

Rasa continues to look at Kakashi like the literal dog shit on the bottom of his shoe, so Kakashi wisely lets Chōza take over from there.

#

Kanna does not, according to Genma, actually make anyone cry. He smugly reports that while it was obvious that nobody wanted her there or found her particularly likeable, she stayed generally polite and actually indicated that Konoha could learn some things from Suna in this field. She even proposed exchanging some of Konoha's work on biological grafting for some of Suna's practice in puppet-based prostheses.

Kakashi smiles at Kanna and says, "I'm so proud of you!"

She kicks him in the shin and says, "Eat an entire bag of dicks."

"Are you sure you're friends?" Watanabe asks.

"He's, like, half-raising my kids," Kanna says. "Practically family."

"But do you even like him?" Watanabe presses.

Kanna shrugs. "I mean, I haven't been so overcome with the urge to kill him that I actually tried yet, so probably."

"That's a very low bar," Hiroshi points out.

"So are the standards of politeness, and yet you continue to limbo under them anyway," Kanna says.

Kakashi hides behind his book and grins.

#

They're not allowed to leave their hotel rooms without an escort, but the shinobi assigned to do so are unobtrusive when asked. Some of them chat if the Konoha shinobi strike up conversation first, which Genma and Kimiko and Chōza all do without hesitation, but Kanna lets off enough of a 'don't fuck with me' air that nobody even tries to talk to her the second day.

She was actually pretty conversant the first day, and pleasantly let the escort play tour guide and show her a few restaurants.

The second day, she's grumpy enough after negotiations that Kakashi is pretty much the only person that bothers to even try.

They get ice cream, which melts exceedingly fast, and sit on a bench near a children's park. They get just as many dirty looks as Kakashi expects, even if Kanna's forehead protector is half-hidden by the line of her hat.

(Sunhat, even. Apparently she burns easy. Who knew?)

"So—"

"Don't."

"Aa."

Yeah. Not particularly chatty today.

Kanna's personal tastes in conversation cease to matter, though, because a small, angry child appears in front of them in a burst of sand.

The child is silent, just glares.

"Yo," Kakashi says, raising one hand. He's vaguely aware of their guard silently freaking out somewhere behind them. He's not sure whether the kid is the threat, or if the guard thinks they're a threat to the kid, but there sure is panic going on.

"You don't belong here," the child says, in a voice that is more rasp than sound.

"…eh," Kanna says, and takes another bite of her ice cream.

The sound is like a shrug, but with even less effort.

"Really phoning it in, huh, Uzumaki?" Kakashi drawls, letting his head loll to the side just enough to look at her.

"It's hot and I'm grumpy," Kanna grouses.

Kakashi shakes his head and looks at the kid, whose expression has darkened in the moments he wasn't watching. "We're here on diplomatic business. You in the Academy?"

The kid looks about the right age, but… well, he smells a lot like blood.

"No," the kid says.

"…you planning to be a ninja?" Kakashi tries.

"I already am," the kid says, and glares harder.

"Ah," Kakashi says. He thinks on that for a moment. "Yeah, no, I was a ninja younger than you and I can say, big mistake. You gotta wait until you're twelve or it fucks with your head."

Kanna digs the heel of one shoe into his toes. "Don't cuss around the kid."

"You cuss all the time around—"

"I will feed you your teeth, Hatake."

"Maa," Kakashi sighs, draping himself over Kanna's shoulders. "Kanna-chan, you're so mean to one of your oldest friends in—"

"I will bite you."

Kakashi sits up straight and suddenly becomes very interested in his ice cream.

"Ha," Kanna mocks. She turns to the kid. "Look, can we help you with something?"

"Why… did you say you would feed him his teeth?"

Kanna blinks, bemused. "Because he's annoying and I'm a dramatic-ass bitch."

"Hey!" Kakashi protests. "You just told me I couldn't cuss around the kid."

"That's because you suck," Kanna tells him. She turns back to the kid. "This jerk and I are friends, mostly because I'm an even bigger jerk, and sometimes he's the only person who can put up with me, and I'm the only person who can put up with him, and insulting and threatening each other is fun because we've talked it over before and know we don't really mean it."

"Also she saved my life once," Kakashi says, which is an exaggeration, but he figures nobody's going to look into it that closely. "And that sort of thing is what many friendships are built on."

The kid glares a little harder, somehow, and then disappears in a whirl of sand.

"He didn't even give us his name," Kakashi muses.

"Didn't need to," Kanna says. "That was the Kazekage's kid."

He looks at her. "How… wait, don't tell me."

"How do you think?"

#

Kanna beelines for Tenzō when they get back to the hotel, slings an arm over his shoulder, and tells him, "I sent out a hook~!"

Tenzō tries to step away from her, more than a little unnerved, and Kanna's grin grows wider.

"Kanna, please stop bullying my cute little kohai," Kakashi says. "He's fragile."

Tenzō shoots him a dirty look, but Kanna detaches herself with a snicker. "Yeah, yeah, I gotcha. Shouldn't be long, though. Feels messy as hell."

The alarm in Tenzō's face is… actually not funny at all. It's the kind of expression that signals things are actually pretty bad.

Ah, shit. The kid was the Jinchuuriki, wasn't he?

"What should I—"

"I won't need you," Kanna says, flapping a hand dismissively. "You know, probably. Just, you know, hang back and protect people."

"And your… hook?" Tenzō asks.

Kanna smirks. "Just trying to make sure he points it all at me."

"Do I want to know?" Kakashi asks.

"No," Kanna tells him. "But you're going to. Eventually."

A/N: Oh worm, you get two chapters for this nonsense.

(And in case it wasn't clear: the "how do you think" is Kanna reminding Kakashi that, wildly enough, she IS a sensor.)