Hello and no your eyes are not deceiving you... I've finally written something Haleb related and I'm actually posting it on ff.
I have to say the biggest thank you to the reviewers that still continue to encourage me to write and update, despite hearing nothing from me. Honestly when I get an email coming in, it gives me that final kick to open up word again. There is one person in particular who is always anon, but leaves the longest reviews - thank you :):).
Sooo I also kind of think this oneshot is a bit of a bunch of crap but posting anything feels like a small achievement. I was also supposed to post this last weekend for Halloween but I needed more time to finish it off, so the theme is a bit late. Anyways, here is my take on my wee fully canon Haleb during coronavirus - wear a mask people!
Enjoy below...
Of Lockdowns and Latin Derivatives
"What day is it?"
Caleb Rivers looked up from the cardboard box he was turning into a rocket ship at his perplexed-looking wife. He was pretty sure she hadn't moved from her seat at the kitchen table since she'd traipsed out of bed, wrapped up in his dressing gown and looking every bit like the morning person she wasn't as she searched for her decaf coffee and a morning kiss almost two hours ago.
"Seriously," Hanna sighed, glancing out the window when he didn't reply, "It's like that weird time between Christmas and New Years where carbs are your new best friend and someone's slipping vodka into your coffee."
Caleb chuckled, standing up to walk over to her, "Well it's Saturday," He pressed a kiss against the side of her face before his hand trailed down to her side, "And Spencer has promised us another virtual quiz on Zoom later, so you have that to look forward to later."
"Great," She muttered sarcastically as he sat down next to her. "Another week of Latin derivatives. What could be better?"
He grinned at her, "At least we're not helping her write the questions this time."
Hanna sighed again, unable to help but roll her eyes. Their weekly virtual Saturday night plans with their friends had recently gone back into the diary after a break over the summer. Everyone had seemed to forget how bored they'd all gotten when Spencer won every quiz, much to Hanna's chagrin. "I thought there was an unwritten rule that everyone was still done with them. No one seemed to appreciate our round on Cheese or Disease last time."
"I'm pretty sure it still ranked ahead of 'does it float?'"
"Seriously, banana's should sink."
"I fully agree with you," He stood and headed over to the coffee pot to pour himself another cup. "I'm more worried that Toby decided to test out 10 different fruits to write the quiz."
"'Rona boredom," Hanna slumped onto the table, "It's why Aria decided to set up a Tik Tok for her cat."
"Yeah that is weird," He murmured in agreement, "But," He started hopefully, "Think about the positives babe. Layla had too much fun testing them all out herself."
Hanna sent him a warm smile as she thought about the little experiment station he'd set up for their daughter in the kitchen one morning, and the shrieks that she'd walked into as Layla dropped various items into a big bowl of water. "Thank god you stopped her before my phone went in."
"Yep," He grimaced in agreement, "That wouldn't have been pretty."
She suddenly gasped and sat up, "Caleb!"
"What?" He moved to her quickly, worried something was wrong. She was carrying precious cargo, which already had him on high alert.
"It's Halloween."
"Babe, don't do that," He let out a breath, closing his eyes momentarily.
"I can't believe we won't get to trick or treat properly with buggy," She pouted, reaching for his cup of decaf coffee. "But I guess she is still only little."
"I was drinking that."
"Baby's thirsty."
"I'm sure they are," He rolled his eyes but held an arm out nonetheless as she stood up and moved over onto his lap. He pressed his lips against her cheek and squeezed her waist affectionately before he encouraged her up and settled her on the sofa with his stolen drink and a blanket. "I need to finish the ship for Her Royal Highness," He murmured, heading back to the cardboard he'd been crafting all morning, "Don't forget we're taking her to your Mom's later so she can at least get candy from one house."
Hanna pouted sadly, "This reminds me how much she's missing out on."
Caleb glanced up at her from his place on the floor. He knew she'd found this tough and he had too; Layla was turning into a tiny human being in front of them, all whilst they'd spent most of the year inside their house. "I know this is hard babe," He tried, "But when was the last time we got to spend this much time together, just the three of us?"
"I only see two people right now," She pointed between them, "And now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I had to put up with you and little miss thing fighting over your iPhone before this pandemic happened too."
"Really?" Caleb raised an eyebrow, "Little miss thing? And you're accusing me of fighting with her over a phone?"
"You do!" She insisted, trying not to laugh in disbelief at his denial.
"I'm the one that stops her being addicted to Peppa Pig on YouTube, if that's what you mean."
"You're the one that showed her how to use your phone in the first place."
He narrowed his eyes at her as he sat back, "Are we about to have our one hundredth quaran-argument?"
"Caleb," She whined, "I miss my friends, I miss Layla's stupid toddler yoga class, I miss red wine."
"Okay, seriously," He tried; now he knew where their two-year-old was getting her all-too-regular amateur dramatics from. "You hated that class." He shook his head, heading back over to the cardboard creation their little girl had all but demanded the previous night, "And you couldn't drink red wine before all of this anyway."
"I still miss it," She pouted as he tweaked with the box. "Em sent me a picture of her wine rack last night and I almost cried."
"Well I can fill one up here for you if you want. But you still can't touch it."
"You're crushing my dream."
"I'm crushing your dream?" He laughed, "I'm building dreams left, right and centre for you and the little princess you created."
"You're lucky she thinks the sun shines out of your ass."
He ignored her comment and focused on the cardboard wing instead, "I know you miss your friends babe, but we both said we'd only see your Mom since things have gotten worse," He looked up at her seriously, "I don't want you doing anything that could put you and Nemo at risk."
"I thought we also agreed that Layla wasn't going to name the baby after a fish."
He shot her a grin and shrugged, "At least it's unisex."
She sighed, knowing she was fighting a losing battle on the nickname Layla had already given her baby brother or sister, "You know that actually looks pretty good," She said as she sat back and watched him work.
"Don't sound so surprised," He glanced up at her, before focusing back on the panel of fake buttons he'd created. "I'm Daddy extraordinaire. I always deliver."
"Yeah I know," She sent him a grin, "But what does that have to do with building a 10-button control panel? Her costume isn't exactly tech heavy."
He shook his head with a smile on his face, adjusting one final switch, "When she ends up as the youngest astronaut ever, you'll be thanking me for the detail."
"Speaking of…" Hanna trailed off as she heard the patter of tiny feet running towards them before they came to a sudden stop. Come to think of it, it had been far too quiet.
"Mommeeeeee!"
"Laylaaaa," Hanna yelled back to her two-year old daughter who was supposed to be entertaining herself with her toy pony set.
"Mommeeeeeeeeeee!"
Caleb shot Hanna a look as she went to open her mouth again; this was not going to descend into a shouting match. "Buggy come here," He called, feeling pretty proud of the design in front of him. "I've got something to show you."
"Daddy," A blur of glitter and poof rushed towards him, throwing themselves at his body with a squeal. Caleb grunted and fell back, squeezing Layla tight before he began to tickle her sides. "Daddy no!"
"Ok," He laughed, letting her go before he sat back up and watched as she ran over to Hanna, a long fake ice-blonde braid hanging from her hair and dressed in the Elsa dress Ashley had given her the last time they'd seen her.
"Woah, woah, woah," Hanna immediately picked her up, holding her still as she took a moment to assess exactly what had happened to her usually clean daughter's face, "Layla…" She trailed off knowingly, "What did we say about not going into Mommy's make up?"
"Bu… bu…!"
"But what?" She said, trying to wipe off what looked like a bronzer stick all over Layla's chin. This had already happened three times that week and each time Hanna kept moving her stash of make up higher and higher up her vanity – clearly it wasn't working. "This is not okay."
"Bu… I owa min-yoh," She whispered, leaving Hanna trying to make heads or tails of what she was saying before she wriggled out of her grip and scrambled down, looking for an escape in Caleb. "Bye Mommy," The toddler yelled, "I goin' away." She ignored Caleb's pointing at his engineering feat, running around the cardboard in a circle.
"Bye then."
"Daddy!" Layla called urgently, tugging on his hand as she came to a stop, "In," She pointed at the spaceship, "Huwee!"
"I'm hurrying," He smiled, picking her up and plonking her straight down in the driver's seat.
"In," She reached for him, "In Daddy."
"Okay, okay," He climbed in behind her, pulling her onto his lap so that he had more room. "Guess we know which parent she wants to save from planet Earth," Caleb sent a smirk in Hanna's direction.
"Are you kidding me? Pretty sure she's gonna throw you out as soon as she realises I've been left behind," Hanna shook her head. "I'm the one that has all the m-a-k-e-u-p."
Caleb shot her a look as he noticed the lipstick Layla had also attempted that was smeared around her mouth. "I think she's had enough of that."
"I goed!" Layla squealed and cut them off, pretending to press the buttons on the fake dashboard as she convinced Caleb to make flying noises for her.
Hanna watched for a bit, enjoying the look on Caleb's face as Layla convinced him they were on a Princess mission to the moon and that he had to pretend to be a frog before she snuck off to go and get ready for the day before sorting some bits out in Layla's room.
They'd moved into a new house at the start of the year; Layla had quite literally started to outgrow their old loft apartment and Hanna couldn't take Caleb's daily freak-outs about all the things he was worried she'd get tangled up in – namely a temperamental fireplace and spiral staircase. There were still things to unpack properly and rooms to re-decorate, but she'd focused all her energy on Layla's room first and then the nursery.
She headed straight for the stack of clean clothes Caleb had left on a white fluffy chair. He was smart enough to know that she'd spent long enough organising Layla's clothes by season and colour to let him mess it up.
"Layla," She growled under her breath as she managed to pull out an all-too-familiar looking eyeliner from her vanity that had been wedged down the side of the chair. How she managed to get into everything was beyond her. "What else…" Hanna trailed off as she lifted up the cushion on the armchair. "I knew I hadn't left you in the loft," She rolled her eyes, picking up her favourite lipstick and a few other tubes that their two-year-old had clearly been stashing for future use.
She heard movement coming up the stairs and down the hallway and it wasn't too long before a certain Princess appeared in her rocket ship, being pulled along by Caleb.
"No!" Layla cried as soon as she realised her hiding place had been discovered. She scrambled to get out, reaching for Caleb as her dress got caught, before she was released and rushed over to Hanna.
"Layla," Hanna shook her head, kneeling down on the floor, "You can't keep taking Mommy's make up."
"No," She reached for it in Hanna's hand, "Pwetty."
"I know it looks pretty, but it's for grown ups."
Caleb sensed a tantrum was imminent and stepped in the room as Layla's bottom lip began to wobble, hoping to help diffuse the situation. "Hey Layla girl," He murmured, squatting down on the floor and pulling her into his side with a tender hand, "Mommy's right, it is only for grown ups. So I think we need to say sorry for using all her make up right now."
Layla began to cry, her emotions helplessly out of control. They let her get it out of her system, before she finally abandoned Caleb and rushed over to Hanna searching for comfort.
"What?" She asked as Layla did her best to climb over her bump. Brushing her hair back behind her ears, she also got to assess exactly what she'd managed to plaster all over her face.
"But," She whimpered, letting Hanna scrub at her chin with her thumb, "Bu…"
"Sorry doesn't come with a but."
"I owa mish… an… an de facy as an pee n min-yons," She cried.
Hanna sighed. Usually she was translator extraordinaire as Layla tried to get her head around the English language, but this was testing her limits. "Minions?" She asked. Layla nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around her neck as Hanna held her close to try and stop her whimpers. "Okay, but that doesn't mean you can hide my make-up and then put it on whenever you want."
"Layla," Caleb said firmly, "Because you took Mommy's make up, you need to go into time out."
The little girl whimpered again, but didn't protest as Caleb plucked her from Hanna's arms and disappeared to fulfil the usual punishment that sometimes felt like it was happening all too regularly. Left alone, Hanna scouted the room for any other things her daughter had managed to hide and quickly deposited her reclaimed make-up in their bedroom, before heading downstairs to see through the end of Layla's punishment.
"Okay bug," She heard Caleb say as she headed into the kitchen area, "Do you have anything to say?"
"I sowry,"
"Thank you for saying sorry to me," He murmured, scooping her up into his arms as he spotted Hanna. "What about to Mommy?"
"Hey," Hanna caught her attention, quickly reaching for Layla as she flung herself at her.
"I sowry Mommy."
"Thank you for saying sorry," She whispered, pouting her lips for a kiss. Layla happily obliged before settling her head down on Hanna's shoulder. "No more stealing make-up, okay?"
Layla nodded against her neck, still feeling sorry for herself. But she was quickly distracted as Caleb made lunch and Hanna then promptly put her down for her afternoon nap, finally convincing her to take off her Elsa dress and braid with the promise that when she woke up they could get ready to go to Grammy's house for trick or treating.
Caleb couldn't help himself, moving back over to the rocket ship to ensure it was all still in the best shape, leaving Hanna to settle back on the sofa as she watched him. He was the most loving, giving Daddy to their daughter and she couldn't wait to see him with their second baby. "What are you gonna do if she asks for a dream castle tomorrow?" She smiled at him as he finally stepped back and sank into cushions next to her.
"Then I will make her a dream castle," He said, reaching a hand around her bump. "What are you gonna do if she destroys another lipstick?"
"Ship her off to my Moms with a warning label."
He laughed, his hand curling under her t-shirt sleeve to keep her close. "You feeling okay?" Caleb murmured, turning serious for a moment. He was always worrying about her, but even more so now.
Hanna looked up at him and sighed, "I can't watch Moana again today. You're gonna have to do it."
"Okay," He chuckled, "It probably is my turn."
"You know she makes you sing with her now?"
"Oh I know. Pretty sure my camera knows too."
"Caleb!" She gasped, "You have not filmed me singing with her," She slapped his chest lightly.
"You're right," He gave in, kissing her, "I haven't filmed you," He said, wrapping his arms around her, "But it was a pretty good show."
"I hate you," She shook her head at him, a smile on her face nonetheless.
He paused for a moment and breathed her in, rubbing his nose against her brow bone, "Can you believe we're having a baby in two months?"
"You know what I really hate?"
"What?" He took everything about her in as her eyes pooled into his.
"That everyone's gonna think this is a lockdown baby."
He grinned as she pouted, "Good job we have the crazy older sister that proves I was sexing you up already."
"Sexing me up?" She raised an eyebrow, "Is that what it was?"
His palm cupped ber belly, "Technical term," He smirked, letting her move his hand so that he could feel the movement underneath her skin. She sighed, a sense of longing travelling through her body as his scent encompassed her and his hands began to do wonderful things.
He knew that sigh. He loved that sigh.
"We don't have time," She managed to get out before he stole her mouth with his and silenced her momentarily. "Layla's gonna –"
"Shh," He cut her off, pushing his lips against hers again as he manoeuvred their bodies so she was lying back against the arm of the sofa. She gave up, surrendering herself to him as her fingers found their way into his hair and he managed to settle between her legs. "We still have half-an-hour," He murmured in between kisses as his mouth began to make it's way down her jaw to find that sweet spot where her neck met her shoulder.
"She's sleeping le—"
"Stop talking," He laughed against her lips. He reached for the bottom of the t-shirt she'd borrowed from his wardrobe and decided to throw on after showering, pulling it up and over her head before her mouth sought his again. He was just about to push his hand inside her jeans when noise came over the baby monitor.
They both froze, waiting to see if Layla would fall back asleep, but the noise only turned into whining and and then a sleepy voice calling for Hanna. "I told you," She muttered as he sat back and handed her the discarded t-shirt. "She keeps waking up early from her nap."
"Mama," Came through the monitor sat on the coffee table.
"I'm so annoyed at you right now."
"Don't be mad babe," He tried, watching as she redressed and then pushed herself up.
"You know, it's just mean to start this with a pregnant lady knowing you can't finish it."
"Trust me," He called after her as she headed for the stairs, "I was intending to finish it." He sat back, taking a moment to calm himself down before he heard Hanna's voice filter through the monitor.
"Hey Layla girl," She murmured. He knew she'd be leaning over the crib to scoop Layla up, holding her close as their daughter undoubtedly sought her out. "You ready to put your costume on and go see Grammy?"
"Wiv Daddy?"
"Daddy's coming too, but right now he's being a real meaniepoo to Mommy ."
Caleb scoffed, a smile on his face nonetheless.
"Min-yon," Layla said, and Caleb could imagine her reaching for her toy minion that was somewhere close by. For all the princesses and tiaras their daughter loved, she was obsessed with all things Minion too. The monitor turned off and he headed upstairs to have a shower and pull on his own costume that Hanna had insisted he wear. How she'd managed to get out of dressing up he'd never know; too much time sweet-talking their daughter into focusing her attentions on him instead and a claim that she wouldn't fit into the theme with her pregnant belly. The things he like her get away with.
Soon enough, he was placing a fake nose on his face and a scarf around his neck before following the giggles to find his girls. They were waiting at the bottom of the stairs, Layla bouncing around excitedly in a fluffy minion onesie, the face and eyes of the happy yellow monster on top of the hood that covered her head.
"Hello," He said in a funny voice, scooping Layla up and tossing her in the air.
"Gru!" She called, pulling on the fake nose.
"Is that my minion?"
"Yes," She laughed as he pretended to inspect her.
"Are you ready to go see Grammy?"
"Yes!"
"Does Mommy still think Daddy's a meaniepoo?"
"Yes!"
Caleb looked over at Hanna, waiting for her answer as Layla clung to him. "I'm still mad at you," She said as he reached a hand out to pull her close, "But seeing you wear that plastic nose is enough punishment."
"Good," He smiled, trying to give her a gentle kiss. The fake nose only served to get in the way, and he growled in mock irritation, "This thing is stupid."
"Actually I think it kind of suits you," She grinned.
"Why am I wearing this thing?"
"Daddy, Gru."
"That's right baby, Daddy is Gru," Hanna smiled, leaning forward to pepper her cheek with kisses before she sat herself down on the stairs to pull on a pair of black chunky boots. "I thought you were Daddy extraordinaire babe," She teased.
He rolled his eyes at her comment, dropping Layla down into her lap. "I am," He muttered, passing her Layla's rain boots. "I'm only doing this because of her."
"Layla, what do you think about Daddy's costume?" She asked, wrestling on the boots, "Do you like it?"
"Gru!" She chirped with a toothy grin, "Daddy Gru!"
"See babe, it's all worth it," Hanna murmured, placing Layla on the floor before she pushed herself up. "Now let me get a picture before we head to my Mom's."
He tolerated the photoshoot for 15 minutes before both he decided enough was enough and stole her phone out of her hand as she flicked through the pictures she'd taken. "Hey my little minion, can you keep this safe from Mama?" He handed it to Layla and encouraged her to stuff it down the pocket on her costume as he carried her outside.
"I keep safe Daddy."
"Good job," He rolled her up in his arms and gave her a kiss, before placing her down as they waited for Hanna to lock up.
"Hey bug, you forgot your candy bucket," Hanna held it out as she approached them, "Now let's go see what treats Grammy has for you."
Layla took the bucket and handed it straight to Caleb, before reaching for Hanna's hand as they began the familiar walk through the streets of Rosewood to Ashley's house. "So I dress up like this and I'm still her lowly bucket carrier?" Caleb said, sliding his arm around Hanna's shoulders.
"Don't worry," Hanna reassured him, "You'll be carrying her soon enough." And she wasn't wrong; after a few blocks Layla was insisting on riding on his shoulders the rest of the way, leaving Caleb to hold onto her feet as they walked at Hanna's pace. There were a couple of houses on the way that the stopped at, but both Hanna and Caleb were cautious of the number of people around and Layla didn't seem to like the scary decorations anyway.
Eventually they reached Ashley's house, the scary decorations of years gone by replaced by granddaughter-friendly pumpkins outside the front door. "Knock for Grammy," Caleb encouraged his passenger, letting her knock as hard as he could before he pulled her down and Hanna handed her, her bucket.
"Grammy!" Layla yelled excitedly as soon as the door opened.
"Hi sweetheart," Ashley knelt down and pulled her in for a hug, "I love your costume."
"I min-yon."
"You are," She smiled, "Do you want some candy?"
Layla nodded, grabbing a handful from the tray Ashley held out. "How did trick or treating go?" Ashley finally diverted her attention to Hanna and Caleb, standing up as Layla inspected her prizes.
"This was good enough," Hanna smiled, taking a bag of M&Ms from Layla as she held them up for her, "You want some now?" She murmured, the little girl nodding in return.
Ashley smiled, taking in Caleb's costume, "How did you fit a mask over that nose?" She asked, standing back to let them in.
"Not the only issue with it," He rolled his eyes, pulling it down and off his face as they headed into the kitchen.
"He's annoyed I didn't dress up," Hanna told her, taking a seat at the counter.
"Why didn't you?" Ashley asked as she made them all a drink.
"Hello," She pointed at her stomach, "Pregnant in a pandemic. I get a pass on everything."
Ashley sent her a warm smile, "How are you feeling, sweetheart?" She worried about her more than Hanna would care to know.
"Fine," She shrugged as Caleb placed Layla on the kitchen counter in front of her, content enough with her bag of candy for the time being. "But I just want this all to be over. You know I still don't know who can be in the delivery room with me."
"What do the hospital say?"
"They'll confirm closer to the date," She muttered, stealing a piece of chocolate from Layla. "If they say I have to push this thing out by myself then honestly, I'm not leaving the house."
"They're not gonna say that," Caleb tried to reassure her.
"I've already had two appointments by myself," She told him knowingly, "It's the only reason you won't let me find out if it's a boy or girl."
"You still don't know?" Ashley asked, handing them both a cup of steaming hot herbal tea.
"No," Hanna sighed and gave Caleb her best puppy dog eyes, "I'm not allowed if Caleb can't be told at the same time."
"Don't look at me like that," He laughed, "I think it's fair enough."
"Well that's what you get when you have a lockdown baby," Ashley added, a grin gracing her face.
"Mom!"
"What?"
"They're not a lockdown baby!"
"Really?"
Hanna shot Caleb a look, as if to say 'I told you so'. "No they're not. We got pregnant right—"
Ashley held her hands up in mock surrender and cut her off, "I don't need to know the details, I believe you."
"And if you can please tell all the gossiping Moms on your group chat that would be much appreciated."
"I can do better than that," Ashley offered, "Veronica's starting her virtual quizzes back up this evening. Although I can't say I'm particularly looking forward to it; the first round is on Latin derivatives."
Hanna and Caleb shared a smile, both of them shaking their heads. They knew exactly where this was going.
"What?" Ashley asked, looking at them both suspiciously.
"Have you ever tested whether a banana floats or not…"
Well, there you have it. I promise I'm working on GGGB, but I just needed to post something to get me back into the swing of it. If anyone is reading, think about leaving a review xoxo