Hailey's never been one for long uninterrupted sleep. She can recall dreams from her childhood that would turn into nightmares in an instant.
She can remember worrying about the stress written all over her parents' faces. About money. Schooling for their children. Stress for her mother from the constant guessing game of which version of her husband she'd greet as he closed the door each evening and for her dad that one day he'd go too far and end up in prison.
Adulthood brought different stresses. Once or twice a year, it's as though her body gives up. Has had enough, and she sleeps for hours on end. Somehow it's enough.
It's 2am, and she's in the tiny studio, eating noodles straight from the container and sipping at a bottle of water. It would've been something stronger but she's meeting Antonio and Kev at 9am and she has to drive so water it is.
She's curious to find out what they've learned, if they've learned anything, about Kacey Stapleton.
There's a knock at the door and knowing the times Jay had been followed back to where he's staying, her instinct is to pull her gun just in case. Too many memories of past undercover operations gone awry bubbling to the surface.
She decides against it for now and walks to the door, peering through the spy-hole and relaxes at least a little when she sees who it is. She unlocks the door and pulls the chain away from the door, then opens the door.
"What time d'you call this?" She teases then spots something familiar in each of his hands, "Coffee at this time? You crazy? Or are you half vampire and you don't sleep at all?"
Jay smirks and walks past her and into the apartment as Hailey mutters quietly, Yeah, and you can come in too, Jay."
"What?" He turns slightly at her voice but she waves his question away and instead shuts the door gently, turning to see him checking out her place to live for the next however long.
He makes an impressed sounding noise.
"It's a lot better on the inside than the out. Though the color scheme a little too vomit-y for my liking."
"Well, it's lucky you don't have to stay here then eh Ryan?"
"Eh? Still in full Paula mode, Upton?" Jay teases as he hands the coffee to her and grins at Hailey's eye roll and accompanying middle finger.
"You know the door's over there, right?"
They exchange a smile as Jay sits down on the couch and Hailey sets the coffee down on the small table in front of it and walks over to the kitchenette, picking up the container with the fork still in it and takes another couple of bites before throwing the fork into the sink and the container into the trash.
She joins Jay on the couch, the other end and picks up a cushion, hugging it close to her then pulling the sleeve of the hoodie with one hand to try to get warmer. Jay nods toward the coffee.
"Kinda the main reason I got us both one. They say there'll be snow on the day after tomorrow."
Hailey reaches for the coffee and sure enough it's still toasty warm and she wraps both hands around it and fixes Jay with a look.
"You reckon Flynn's solid or playing a game with everyone, most of all us?"
Jay heaves a sigh and looks away, rubs his chin and return's Hailey's look, "I keep flipping. The thought he's involved with his kid's death? It should be unreal, but this job? Anything's possible, we know that."
"Yeah."
"What do you think? Not only about Flynn but Marcie, do you believe she's in on it? Or is she solid?"
Hailey pulls the lid off the coffee container and blows at the liquid, "I think Flynn's playing the biggest game of them all and I'm not sure yet which side he's on. I do beleive he's dangerous in a way that we don't realize yet. Price we know we have to watch. Barnet, too. Flynn? We have to see which way he flips and…"
"Keep our heads on a swivel," Jay finishes.
"Yeah that," Hailey agrees with a grin, "Marcie? She's trying to hide from me how Oxy is the only thing that's keeping her going while simultaneously killing her and most of the time, it's the former."
"Think she knows more?"
"Undoubtedly. In a bad way though? No sign of that yet. I gotta ask though, did she ever mention Kacey Stapleton to you?"
"No, wait, Stapleton? That a coincidence or?"
"Nope. Eddie Stapleton's younger sister. Kev's on it. It was Terry the drunk guy who sits on his own who told me about her. He may be a drunk but he's still got it. He sees everything."
Jay raises his eyebrows, "He hitting on you?"
"Guys aren't all like Ryan Foster and his whole cute but an asshole vibe."
Jay's halfway through a sip of his coffee and he almost spits it out but stops himself in time and throws her a mock offended look, "Cute but an asshole? I'll take that on my gravestone."
"Keep talking like you do to Paula, Foster and it'll be sooner than you think."
Jay's laugh is genuine, and she realizes she's heard it only once before, "Noted. Also, what you said about the guy being around longer than you and acting the asshole," Jay's expression turns serious to match his tone in an instant, "I realize I've been hard on you. It's bad timing. Everything was bad timing."
"It's okay, Jay. I was playing the role. It's about a bunch of guys Paula's encountered in her life."
"Still," Jay insists, "I guess I'm trying to apologize if I made it harder for you just because everything was harder for me."
Hailey's sensed for a while even going back to the coffee thing they have that everything was less fraught at least and that each time Jay's brought coffee too. Even at this time of the morning, it's Jay attempting to bridge the gap, the distance between them.
She's had partners before. Was certain at one stage that Jay would be one of the short-lived ones. Her desire to stick by the rules, to not cave and her own scars clashing with the confidence in Jay dented by tragedy and abandonment leaving him at once cold, bruised and defensive.
And sure they have to bond and bond realistically through this if there's any chance of seeing this through but this is Jay not Ryan and she's Hailey now not Paula.
She half stands and leans towards Jay, her hand reaching out to shake his. He looks almost surprised at the formality, but reciprocates. His grip strong, his hands warm from holding the coffee cup.
Despite the coldness outside, it's almost like the first warm day after the coldest winter.
It's maybe a second too long, if that, the way they shake hands and their hands stay locked together. Merely a second but Hailey blushes as she pulls hers away and Jay scratches at his neck, clears his throat and Halstead. The detective version is well and truly back.
"Kacey Stapleton though?"
"Yeah. Kev's on it. Spoke to him a little earlier. Seeing him and Antonio in," she glances at the watch on her wrist and yawns involuntarily, "5 hours."
Jay drains the rest of his coffee and pats the couch with one hand, "My cue to go. And I got deliveries tomorrow too, so I should be going."
"Think they'll let you deliver on your own soon?"
Jay shakes his head and shrugs, "Before the last couple of minutes of the thing downstairs, I'd have said yes, but they flip so fast so I got no idea."
Jay walks to the kitchenette and places the disposable cup in the trash and walks back to face Hailey. Looking for all the world like he wants to say more but it's like he has a conversation in his own head and dismisses it.
"Jay? Babur and Tabssum?"
He glances at her then shakes his head, frowning, "Not yet, stay safe Hailey."
Hailey wants to drag him back. Wants to sit him down and make him talk. Make him admit to the memories before someone who's not as careful as she'll be pulls them from him involuntarily.
The progress they made, though. The tiny steps and those olive branches that could snap at any moment stop her.
And he's already out the door, pulling it shut quietly to not wake the neighbors as she replies, "You too, Jay, you too."
Hailey's early but Antonio and Kev are already there as she pulls up, in the car she's got for the UC, underneath the bridge, turns the engine off and pulls on the pair of gloves, savoring the last bit of heat before she opens the door and the wind has her reaching for her scarf too.
She climbs out of the car at the same time as the other two get out of Kev's car and greets them with a nod.
"Hey Upton, how ya holding up?" The older man asks her.
"Cold," she replies as another gust of wind buffets the 3 of them.
"That was a close shave with Flynn last night. No one tailed you last night?" Antonio queries.
"No, I was careful and I always take a different way back too."
"Smart."
"Like I said, this isn't my first rodeo," Hailey grins, it grows wider at the quick glance Atwater and Dawson exchange, "Anyway, anything on Kacey Stapleton?"
"That's me," Kev hands over the file he's been holding which Hailey opens and scans quickly as he continues, "Kacey Stapleton, twenty-three years old when she disappeared.
"They ever found any trace of her?"
"Nope."
Hailey continues to turn the pages, "Who reported her missing?"
"That's the crazy part, turn to the last page," Atwater instructs, pausing as Hailey complies.
Hailey's eyes widen as she looks up, "Brian Townsend."
"Keep reading."
Hailey glances from Kevin to Antonio and scans the missing persons report.
"So, Terry from the bar got that part wrong at least," she muses, "More like a sister to him than anything else."
"Yep," Kevin says, pulling the toothpick from his mouth for a moment, "That's all we got. They found nothing to suggest she'd been harmed apart from the blood in her apartment which wasn't fresh and Brian's word so they closed the case."
"That was March 2015. Within 6 months, Brian Townsend was dead." Antonio adds.
Hailey's mind races, "It's odd that Eddie didn't report her missing. Barnet was released in February, right? Kacey Stapleton disappeared a month later," she shakes her head at the file then looks at each man "Every time I feel like I got this case figured out a little, something like this happens and I'm not so sure again."
"You got that right," Kevin agrees.
"Marcie's not said anything to you or Jay about Kacey?"
"No," Hailey confirms, "I saw Jay earlier and told him and it was the first he'd heard of her. It's jso strange. When you and Ruzek were looking at the Cross and found the posts about Search for Anthony and Memorial for Craig Farmer, there wasn't anything about looking for Kacey?"
"Not a thing," Kevin replies, "And I did a quick search before I came to be certain and nothing."
Hailey sighs, rubbing her chin as she scans through the file again, "Are Eddie and Kacey's parents still alive?"
"No."
"Any other siblings?"
"No. just Eddie before he died, which leaves Amelia and her kids."
"Spoken to Amelia?"
"Burgess is on it today," Antonio confirms.
Hailey closes the file, "I guess I should talk to Marcie. If Kacey and Brian were close..."
"Yeah. I was going to suggest that but you beat me to it," Antonia agrees, "You holding up?"
Hailey deflects, "Not my first rodeo and I'm just working in a bar. It's Halstead at the real deep end."
Atwater gives her a skeptical glance and shakes his head, "Ok, so how do you think Halstead is doing? But also this bar has a habit of getting people killed or disappearing so you be careful too, y'hear?"
Hailey reacts with a slight smile, "I hear. I'm good. My biggest risk is that I get fired for not pouring the beer right and Jay, well, you've worked with him longer than me."
"Enough said and yeah we have. Ok, but like he said," Antonio gestures toward Kevin then points to Hailey, wagging his finger like she's twelve rather than approaching her thirties, "You, be careful."
Hailey laughs recalling the conversation with Jay, "I know, I know. Keep my head on a swivel. I will," She shifts the fabric of the glove on the wrist where she has her watch on and glances at the time, "I'd better go."
She walks back to her car but stops, "Anything on the lawyer yet? Any more on the bank accounts?"
"He's back next week and me and Ruz are going to have a talk with him. Hopefully, we'll find out more about the bank accounts and who contacted him each time to bail Townsend out."
"Yeah. Be good to take a step forward rather than multiple steps back for once."
"I hear that, Upton."
She waves at the two men as she slides into the car. Feeling the absence of a coffee and not just for the warmth she could do with right now.
The days crawl by into the following week as the weather worsens and the temperature plummets.
Jay's finally allowed to do the deliveries on his own. It's his second day of it. Not that it reveals much. It's as if Price or Barnet have forewarned everyone to only nod at him as he delivers the crates and then they turn away immediately.
It gives him time to think which isn't necessarily the best thing. He misses the contact of the job. Everyone in Intelligence. He misses Marcie despite the doubts and as he casts an eye towards the thermos, he also sort of misses Upton.
It's not an option to go to her place too often at this stage. If it ever will be. If Price, Barnet, Flynn, whoever the hell is suspicious enough to tail Jay again then right now, there's no real reason for it.
Last week had been a risk. A worthwhile one maybe, but still a risk.
Anyway, yes, he misses the honesty. Her honesty. The way she doesn't hesitate to ask the difficult questions. It's hard to answer them, but it's simpler too without the feelings he'd had for Lindsay.
Lindsay. He needs not to open that can of worms. Those feelings buried even deeper than the ones about the little girl. Tabssum and Babur and all the other memories he's buried deep.
The memories that tonight he must try to pick one from them all. One that won't have him lose himself and the entire case in the process.
He rolls his neck as he slows the van and picks up the clipboard, glad that he's got a distraction just at the right moment.
Jay jumps out and slams the door behind him. A second later he feels the telltale moisture on his nose, and again so he looks up toward the sky.
Snow. Right on time. It's almost Thanksgiving. It'll be a different one this year. No Will. Making do memories of good thanksgivings and also bad ones too instead.
He pulls open the door and reaches for the crate. It's lighter this time. Noticeably lighter, but any hope Jay had of finding out easily what's in them disappeared the moment he realized how little they trust him.
Each crate sealed like every other day and yeah sure, he could attempt to break this one open but he's in this for the long haul or as long as it takes to unearth the truth.
"You Foster, right?" A voice to his right barks.
Jay whirls around, "Yeah, man."
The guy's tall. Tattoos adorn his arms, which are probably twice the size of Jay's. Everything about him's like he's twice the size of Jay.
He goes to take the crate from Jay who shifts back a step, the other man's eyes narrow and his lips thin into a straight angry line.
"Gimme the crate," It's not a request. The man's tone makes that clear, "I don't know you. I don't trust you. Give me the goddamn crate."
Jay does. Without argument and in silence. The man turns, hands the crate immediately to a younger man who's about the same size and they disappear inside.
With a quick glance upwards as a reminder to himself of the name of the bar, Jay slams the door shut and walks around to the driver's side and slides in wondering what a search will reveal about the place.
If he knows nothing else, he guesses that along with what's beginning to look like everything in this case and to do with the bar, it will turn out to be bad news.
Hailey's not found the right moment to ask Marcie yet about Kacey.
Mainly because Marcie's been so high on Oxy, she's sometimes incapable of answering a simple yes or no question without it appearing like you've asked her to answer the most complex mathematical question.
Today's different, she seems sharper. Happier even but as a result it's been even less of the right time to broach the subject.
For a few minutes, Hailey had wondered what had her so chipper. So 'with it'. If she was in any doubt before, she's certain now as Marcie looks at the clock on the wall and towards the door as it opens.
Her shoulders slump when Jay's not there but he's due soon. The meeting's in twenty minutes. The big one.
Apprehension is the most appropriate word to describe Hailey's emotion right now. In an attempt to hide it and avoid questions from Marcie, she herself cleaning the bar for the umpteenth time today.
Hailey doesn't even need to look towards the entrance to know when he arrives. Marcie makes a sound that can best be described as a shriek of delight and as Hailey turns her head and sees Marcie stand opposite where Jay lays a hand, she catches Jay's eye for a moment.
Jay's seasoned as they come and Hailey doesn't know him that well. He really is good at covering and it's not in his eyes where she sees the tension. As he slides onto the barstool and his shoulders are ramrod straight rather than the usual way he relaxes is a way to see the tension and when he casts a glance toward the door in the corner and then covers his mouth with his hand and drags it down across his chin.
It's only a few seconds, and she notes it without comment. She can't be Hailey Upton here. Maybe later or in a couple of days but not tonight.
Instead, she stands next to Marcie and slaps a napkin down in front of Jay and says, "Get you a beer?"
Jay opens his mouth to reply but Marcie shakes her head and taps Jay's hand that's worrying at the napkin already then as she replies she looks at Hailey sternly.
"No, Paula, see this is why you're good at the general bar stuff but you gotta sense in your head what the customers need and Ryan here, he needs a double."
Jay starts to protest but Marcie wags a finger and then taps his hand lightly, "A double it is."
"But I gotta drive all day tomorrow? Early start and all."
"It's just one double, Ryan. You can have all the water you need to sober up down there. Stop being so by the book, Ryan and let me get you a double."
The sigh from Jay is heavy but the air goes out of him along with the fight and he sighs, "Ok, given that I doubt you'll ever shut up if I said a beer would be fine then a double it is."
Marcie lifts a thumb up and then turns away leaving Jay and Hailey to watch her for a moment before Hailey asks, "You okay, Ryan?"
Jay smiles, "I'm good, Paula. You?"
She shrugs, "Eh, coffee withdrawal these past few days but I'm surviving under the circumstances."
Jay grins, "There's a lot to be said for coffee."
"There is," she agrees adding, "also, it's a thing with me," Hailey enjoys the way Jay's shoulders loosen, the tension easing. The grin that reaches his eyes for a moment.
"Ok, here you go," Marcie announces as she places the glass in front of Jay who's still looking at Hailey.
Of course, Marcie doesn't miss it. Despite the Oxy whether she's off it and struggling or on it and hazy, there are some things Hailey doubts she ever misses.
Marcie laughs, "Ok, Ok. I see you two. Particularly you Ryan."
Jay holds his hands up and splutters as he lifts up the glass to take a sip, "What?"
"Huh. Don't kid a kidder, Ryan Foster. Okay so, it's almost Thanksgiving and Paula here is without family in this city and I got no family. And you, Ryan?"
"Like I said before, I got family. However, me visiting them at thanksgiving would be as welcome as a fart in an elevator."
"Your turn of phrase sometimes, Ryan, honestly. Anyway, you two are invited to my apartment for Thanksgiving and before you say it, no is not an acceptable answer."
Jay takes another sip from the glass and nods towards Hailey, pointing his thumb toward Marcie, "Think she'll ever shut up unless we say yes, now?"
"Uh, no, right Marce?"
Marcie nods, "So that's a yes?"
Hailey and Jay exchange a glance and Jay shrugs. It can't hurt and maybe they can get Marcie to open up about Kacey Stapleton.
"Yes, it's a yes Marcie."
Marcie looks ready to clap her hands but her hands freeze in mid-air and Hailey sees her nod toward Barnet.
"Ryan," she nods toward the door and Jay turns his head, drains the drink and nods at both Hailey and Marcie before he pulls two bills from his wallet and slaps them on the bar, slides off the stool and walks away.
Hailey crosses her fingers. In her head at least.
Jay decided on the story he'll tell on the way over. Bad enough memories to haunt anyone but not so bad that he's not shared them before.
He follows Barnet down the stairs and fights to suppress a yawn.
He's not surprised that Hunt isn't there. Jay is surprised that Flynn isn't or not obviously so anyway. It's only Price and Barnet.
"Hey Ryan, tonight's the night," Price smirks.
It sets Jay's teeth on edge and he reaches for the carafe of water on the table and pours into a glass, takes a sip and concentrates on slowing down his breathing.
He holds the glass and smiles, "It is. I'm ready."
Barnet and Price say nothing, just look at each other as if they're waiting for something. Someone. Flynn perhaps?
Two things happen. The first?
Jay goes to put the glass down but his coordination's off and the glass smashes to the floor and he looks confusedly at it, hearing Price approach him and mutter, "Well, that's awful clumsy, Foster."
Price's hand clamps onto Jay's shoulders. His fingers, or at least Jay thinks it's his fingers dig into Jay's neck sharply and he flinches.
The second? Jay barely registers the second. Just disorientation followed by a momentary thought of 'Oh fuck," as the ground comes up to meet him and the lights go out.
Thanks for reading. Just for context and from where we started with the first small scene and then the flashback to 3 months earlier, we're over halfway into that 3 months now. Also, I was wondering as there are a fair few twists with characters, if you think a recap at the start of each chapter would be good, let me know. Anyway, sorry for waffling. As always, please let me know what you thought.
Most importantly - please stay safe. xxx