A/N: Listen, coming back to life two to ten years after you died leaves you in a weird place. Sometimes that place is the laundry aisle.
WARNINGS: discussions of canon traumas, some disparaging references to Sasuke's mental state during Shippuden, and a scene with mild sexual content.
The sexual content is not explicit, and would be acceptable in an R-rated movie or TV-MA. If you wish to skip it, it begins with "Tenzō's kissing him" and fades to black with the scene ending, so you can just skip down to "As it turns out"
Pretty much everyone involved in the big mission is on medical leave, except Jiraiya. Sakura and the dead kids are going to be on medical leave the longest, but nobody's really escaping it. Doctor's orders.
Possibly Hokage's orders?
Kakashi's not sure, but there are rumors floating around, and Kurama had mentioned that Tsunade was the Godaime.
Sakura looks… fine. Tired, but alive. She's sitting up, even, and waves when Kakashi shows up with his motley crew.
"Hello, Kakashi-kun, Sasuke-kun," Sakura greets with a soft smile that somehow actually does reach her eyes. "Rin, Shisui, I'm sure none of us intended to meet the way we have, but I'm glad to get to know you all the same."
She's still smiling, and she seems genuine about it. Not a drop of irritation. All warmth. The woman's either an amazing actor or a total saint. Not that Kakashi's entirely sure what a saint is, but he's definitely heard the phrase from Lightning folk. Far as he can tell, it's, like… a sage who martyrs themselves for the good of the world? But specifically in that weird monotheistic religion that's common in Lightning and Earth.
Wait. A sage who martyrs themselves. So… if Minato-sensei had been part of that religion… which he wasn't, obviously, but like. The schema is there?
Kakashi's still not even sure what a saint is.
Sasuke shuffles over to Sakura's bed and thrusts out a small bouquet of flowers that they'd gotten that morning. Kakashi had taken them to the Yamanaka flower shop, and Sasuke had asked little Ino-chan to make a bouquet that said 'thank you' as strongly as possible. Ino had looked at Shisui, at how Sasuke clung to his cousin, and then nodded sharply and proceeded to put in 110% to make the best bouquet possible.
"Thank you for bringing Shisui back," Sasuke mutters, cheeks red and looking anywhere but Sakura's face. "I know it was an accident, and nobody's giving me details but they're saying it's impossible to recreate, but… you almost died because Shisui came back, so, um, thanks."
Sakura smiles, indulgent and soft, and takes the bouquet. "They're lovely. And I'm glad I could give you part of your family back. I'm sure Shisui's happy to be there for you, too, and—oh, honey, don't cry. C'mere, let me hug you."
Sasuke lets himself get pulled into an awkward hug, half in Sakura's lap with the whole 'stuck in a hospital bed' situation. Sakura pats his back and coos assurances that she's fine and it's just chakra exhaustion now, because Tsunade is a gem of a woman and Kanna is amazing and Shizune is a talented healer in her own right, so everything is going to be alright and nobody needs to cry.
She's such a mom, really, for all that none of her kids are really young enough to be children instead of siblings.
Also… this is a younger version of the dead boyfriend. Which must make things weird.
"Any idea what caused it?" Kakashi asks, taking a seat next to Sakura and passing over his much smaller bouquet, as well as a small box of anmitsu.
"Thanks," she says, with fond eyes in her—older Sasuke's—eyes. "And, well, I'm sure Kanna explained the theories the other night. I had a lovely, extended conversation with the party at fault."
"Dead ex?" Kakashi prompts, and Sakura laughs.
"Oh, well, he wasn't an ex when he died," she muses. Sasuke finally pulls away, rubbing at his eyes, and Sakura wipes a smudge off of his cheek. She smirks at Kakashi. "But he did apologize for almost killing me this time, so that's nice."
Kakashi tries to process that. Rin asks first.
"Did he not apologize for other almost-murders?" She seems rather horrified.
"Not in the slightest," Sakura says. "I mean, a few times, but there was a period where he was completely nuts and didn't really know how to be a functional human being and just kind of… ran around trying to kill people. Including half a dozen heads of state."
"Seventeen was a bad age for all of us," Kanna says, which is not at all comforting.
"Wasn't this the same dead boyfriend that, like…" Kakashi gestures vaguely at his own chest.
"Yeah, he stabbed me when I was being held hostage by an evil old guy," Kanna says. "But it's whatever, he was basically killing everyone that wasn't him at the time."
Sasuke is literally the only person in the room that doesn't know that the crazy dead boyfriend is an older him.
Kakashi is sure that he's not the only one that finds this awkward.
"Well, at least he apologized this time," he finally says. "And it was an actual accident instead of deliberate?"
"It was," Sakura enthuses. "I mean, the chakra imprint is gone, so now I'm really never going to see him again, but it was nice to get to say goodbye."
Hm. That sounds like a whole lot of Not Kakashi's Business.
Sasuke makes a face. "Why did you date him if he tried to kill you?"
Oh wow, kid. No.
"Eh, he calmed down eventually," Sakura dismisses. "Besides! Ninjas. A little death is par for the course."
"Please do not listen to Sakura," Kakashi immediately says. "Your loved ones trying to kill you should not be brushed off unless they're being literally mind-controlled or something like that."
"And you really, really shouldn't expect people to forgive you easily if you try to kill them," Kanna says.
Sakura shrugs and smiles. "Yeah, probably. I should warn you that I'm on a whole bunch of painkillers right now, so I'm not the best judge of anything."
Oh, everything suddenly makes so much more sense. Sakura's not a saint, whatever that is, she's just high.
"I thought you said it was mostly just chakra exhaustion," Rin frets.
"Mostly," Sakura agrees, nodding sagely. "But, you know, there's some… neurological stuff."
Rin stifles a shriek. It comes out as more of a squeak.
"I'm fine! I'm fine. Shishou took care of the damage and all, it's just, like, normal pain now. More like pathway strain than anything. I'll be fine!"
Kanna puts a hand to her forehead, staring at the wall across the room, and says, "Babe. Please stop worrying the kids."
"I'm not a kid," Rin immediately says.
Kanna looks at her. "Fine. Sakura, stop worrying the legally underage folks."
"I'll try my best!" Sakura promises. She cracks open the anmitsu dango, humming happily to herself.
Kakashi has a lot of questions. He can't ask most of them until Sasuke's gone, and Sakura's no longer high as a kite. Kakashi's knowledge of neurological damage mostly relates to raiton chakra misuse, and none of it is making him feel better. Kanna doesn't seem worried, which is probably the best indication of this not being a serious issue.
"Go on, get outta here," Kanna sighs. "We can't really… plan anything. Go shopping or something."
"But—"
"Out."
#
Kakashi takes point, because Rin seems convinced that she shouldn't be using up his money, and Shisui is entirely occupied with keeping Sasuke from attacking anyone that looks at them for more than half a second.
"Clothing first," Kakashi says, ushering everyone into a shinobi supply store. "Basics for now, you can drag Anko around for fashion later."
Shisui eyes him. "You don't wear anything other than your Jounin blues, do you?"
"I wear my ANBU uniform," Kakashi says. "But yes, I'm rather short on style advice. Get a few changes of basic whatevers and you can do a full wardrobe later."
"And how are we paying for this?" Shisui asks, gesturing to herself and Sasuke.
Kakashi holds up a card. "I had Pakkun lift this from Sasuke's house while we were at the hospital."
Sasuke gapes at him.
"You need better home security," Kakashi tells him, passing the card to Shisui. "Seriously, imagine what could have happened if the person invading your house wasn't a dog you know and love."
Sasuke's face burns, and he… clings to Shisui's leg to glare at Kakashi a little harder.
Kakashi looks at Shisui, who just shrugs helplessly. Nobody knows what direction Sasuke's trauma is going to unfurl with this whole situation. Kakashi's fairly certain that 'acting younger than they are' is a common response to some things? It wasn't his response, but Kakashi's always been a weird kid, even before the whole thing with his dad. At least Sasuke's clinginess is pretty expected.
Kakashi gestures at the various racks again, all 'have at it' and 'seriously, just get some clothes that don't look like they came out of a grave and/or my closet,' and the kids disperse.
"Hatake-san?" the clerk calls over, and Kakashi looks at him. "Er… was that Uchiha Shisui?"
"Aa."
"…should I ask?"
"Mission gone weird," Kakashi says, and the clerk leaves it at that.
It's a pattern that repeats over the rest of the day. Kakashi drags the group to a store that covers some essentials, lets them loose, and then fields questions from the employees and other shoppers in as quick a shutdown as he can manage. Most of them take his answer as the 'classified, so stop poking, yes it's really them and that's all you need to know' that it's meant to be. The few that don't are decidedly civilian, and that's where Kakashi gets to pull 'you could ask the Hokage if you'd like.' It's not exactly subtle, but there's nothing about the situation that is.
"Rin?"
Ah, shit.
"Hi, Kurenai-chan," Rin says, eyes doing a quick up-and-down of Kurenai's figure before fixing themselves on a point somewhere to the left.
They're in the laundry aisle.
Kurenai stares, detergent still in one hand instead of in her basket, and then turns to Kakashi.
"Wh-what?"
"Mission gone weird," Kakashi repeats for the nth time that day. "Uh, her and Uchiha Shisui. It's really them. Confirmed by T&I and everything."
Kurenai's fingers loosen, and she drops her detergent.
Kakashi winces.
"I… okay," Kurenai says. "Right. Nohara Rin and Uchiha Shisui are back to life, for classified reasons, but the whole 'no longer dead' bit is public?"
Kakashi gestures vaguely. "I mean, we're at a convenience store buying laundry supplies. That's pretty public."
Kurenai steels herself, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. It comes out with a whoosh. "Okay. Is there going to be a 'glad you're not dead' party?"
Kakashi blinks. "Uh. Should there be?"
"Yes."
Kakashi looks down at Rin.
Rin looks up at Kakashi.
They both tilt their heads to hear Shisui arguing with Sasuke about the validity of fondant as its own food group, which… Shisui, why.
"Sure," Kakashi says. "We'll do it tomorrow night, maybe?"
Rin shakes her head. "Sakura won't be out of the hospital for three days, at least."
"Ah," Kakashi says. "Uh… Saturday night, then?"
Kurenai nods slowly. "Right. I'll… spread the word?"
"Let's figure out who we're inviting and where, first," Kakashi says immediately. "And, well, how much we're allowed to actually say about… things."
"Fair," Kurenai says. "Er… who knows, already?"
"Hokage-sama, Jiraiya, Tsunade, all the Uzumaki, Inoichi, Shikaku, Anko, Tenzō, and whoever saw us walking around today," Kakashi says.
Kurenai's face twitches. "Anko knows already?"
"She was there," Kakashi explains. "And, well, we didn't want news spreading before…"
"Before I was ready," Rin says. "Same goes for Shisui, and he's got to worry about, you know…"
A heavily traumatized almost-ten-year-old.
Kurenai sighs. "Right. Well, send word once you have plans."
She hesitates, looking down at Rin, and says, "You know, a lot of people were really fond of you. I'm glad you're okay, if only because of whatever happened on this mission gone weird, and…"
She runs a hand down her face. "I don't even know how to say this without being weird about it."
"You want a hug?" Rin guesses, and then giggles when Kurenai makes a face and nods. Rin spreads her arms. "I am absolutely okay with hugs."
Kurenai has to go down to one knee for that hug, because Rin is so fucking small, but she whispers something that has Rin giggling, which is… worrying? Maybe?
"I'll try my best," Rin promises as seriously as she can. "Bye, Kurenai-chan!"
"Bye," Kurenai says, and they… part ways as best they can, in the laundry aisle.
#
Kakashi has therapy. Rin has therapy. They do not, for various reasons, have therapy at the same time.
Rin is also raring to go with rejoining the hospital despite her medical leave, and Inoichi is rather strongly suggesting that they spent some time apart to prevent the kind of codependent paranoia this situation can lead to.
"I know it's rare for people to come back from the dead, but presumed-KIA shinobi escape captivity and return home to their loved ones on a regular basis. Trust me. You need to spend some time apart."
So they do that. Rin spends time with Shisui, because he Gets It, and with Shin and Hana, because they're more or less her age—which is goddamn weird, but whatever—and starts following Shizune around the hospital for advice and information on updates to the system, and a variety of other things that should probably wait until medical leave is over.
Kakashi talks to Gai, which goes fine, and talks to Genma, which goes okay, and then just gives in and goes to Anko's place.
He finds Tenzō there, because… well, because he was hoping to, mostly, and picked a time he figured would work for that.
"We've got cheap lo mein," Anko offers, and Kakashi takes the offer for what it is, slipping into the room with jittering breath and a too-fast heart.
"Thanks," he mutters, when Tenzō passes him a box. He heats a few bites before Anko starts talking.
"We invited Kanna to a stitch-and-bitch night," she says, and Kakashi raises an eyebrow. His mouth is full. He can't actually respond.
"Well, Anko and I have been getting together to talk shit about Orochimaru and cope for years, and usually it's sex or booze," Tenzō explains, "but obviously, neither of those are on the table here. That said, we do sometimes just fix up our gear and uniforms and complain while we work, so…"
"We're inviting Kanna to join the 'talk shit about the Snake Sannin' club," Anko says. "We know the truth now, and she deserves to be in on it."
"Is she… interested?" Kakashi asks.
Anko shrugs. "She said she'd think about it and asked if we were sure about it, since she'd actually worked for him while knowing he was a piece of shit, instead of being there under false pretenses or forced, but we told her it'd be fine."
"Test run," Tenzō says. "Yukimi's come by a few times, so it's not the first time we've invited someone else."
It takes Kakashi maybe a bit longer than it should to place the not-legally-but-still-kind-of adopted sister that Tenzō had picked up a few years back.[1]
"I wasn't aware she'd come by Konoha again," he admits.
Tenzō waves it off. "It's not often, and I think you were off on a mission while I was on leave. Though, if you want to talk to her…?"
Kakashi shrugs. "Let her know I said hi? I can write a letter or something, but I don't really know what I'd say. We can all go out for drinks or something if we're in town at the same time?"
Tenzō smiles and shakes his head. "Sure, senpai."
Kakashi relaxes and lets the conversation go in other directions, from the state of the Academy curriculum—substandard, in all their opinions—to plans for upcoming birthdays—Anko's insisting on a trip to Yugakure, and Tenzō's probably going to take her—and so on.
It's nice. It would be great, even, except Kakashi's mind wanders easily, and he gets to thinking about Rin, about Shisui, about Obito, about the whole time-travel thing, and he just… panics.
Quietly, obviously. It would be very hard to notice, if not for the fact that his friends are Very Dangerous People.
Tenzō takes his hand and squeezes. "Hey, senpai? You still there?"
"Kind of," Kakashi says. "I'm not dissociating, but I am spiraling."
"Need a better distraction?" Anko asks, and she nods in a way that makes it very clear what she means.
Kakashi's been thinking about it since he arrived.
Tenzō shoots Anko a look. "No pressuring, Anko."
"Not pressuring," Kakashi manages. "I mean, if you're okay with it? She said you're a package deal and both interested, but if you're not actually okay with it, I can definitely go, like, challenge Gai to climbing the Hokage mountain one-handed or—mmph."
Ah.
Tenzō's kissing him.
Kakashi closes his eyes and relaxes into it. This is good. This is fine.
"Nice," Anko chuckles. "Hey, take the faceguard off. He's so pretty and you can barely see half of it."
She's right, obviously. Kakashi reaches up and tugs Tenzō's faceguard off, lets Tenzō pull Kakashi's headband off, and oof gets pushed backwards onto the couch. Tenzō doesn't even break the kiss, just settles his weight onto Kakashi and slips a hand under Kakashi's shirt to rake blunt nails down his chest. Doing this with Tenzō is comfortable in ways that it isn't with most people. Kakashi's put his life in Tenzō's hands often enough that there's no doubt or paranoia in sharing the night.
"You know, there's a perfectly good bed right down the hall," Anko says, and Kakashi pulls away from the kiss to twist his head and stare at her through one hazy eye. Tenzō kisses his way down Kakashi's throat, which doesn't really help Kakashi's brain with anything approaching logical processing, but does feel nice.
Anko sighs loudly, "Boys, boys, boys. To the bed with you. The couch isn't big enough for all three of us."
This is sensible. Kakashi twists just enough to shunshin across the room and hall and manages to topple himself and Tenzō into Anko's bed. It's queen size. Nice.
"That was entirely unnecessary, senpai," Tenzō tells him. He's pulling Kakashi's shirt off, though, so he can't be that upset.
"You like it," Kakashi teases, and goes for Tenzō's pants. It's easier said than done. "Anko are you…"
She's already taking her shirt off. "I've been waiting on this for months, Hatake, of course I'm getting in."
Kakashi chuckles, and then groans as Tenzō pulls at his hair. "Ah, I forgot you knew about—ah."
Tenzō smirks. "I've got a good memory, senpai."
Anko cackles and comes up behind Tenzō on the bed. "Hey, Hatake, have you seen Tenzō shirtless since he got top surgery?"
Tenzō flushes, smiling, and Kakashi lets his grin show with all the teeth. "I don't believe I've had the pleasure."
Anko smirks. "Good. Tenzō, be a dear and tie him up, will you?"
Kakashi's wrists are pulled against the headboard, soft wood tightening until he's stuck, but comfortable.
Yeah.
This is a good distraction.
#
As it turns out, Tenzō's tendency to cover all the skin possible is as useful as Kakashi's, because not a single one of the three of them is free of bruises and bites the next morning. Anko's usual outfits don't hide her evidence of the night before, but Anko also wears the mottling on her skin like a trophy. She also has really good taste in tea, and Kakashi can cook better than most anyone expects, which means that breakfast makes Tenzō cry.
"You guys are good friends," Kakashi says, eventually. "Thanks for helping me not freak out last night."
Neither of them points out that most 'friends' don't have sex as a distraction.
"No problem," Anko says.
"Anytime, senpai," Tenzō says, and then smiles as innocently as possible when Kakashi shoots him a look.
"So," Kakashi says, instead of addressing Tenzō's fairly explicit statement that Kakashi's always going to be welcome in their bed, should he want it, "You two figured out what you are, yet?"
Anko makes a noise of frustration. "Why does everyone want to know that?"
"Because ninjas gossip," Kakashi says. "And in my case, because I literally just slept with you, and if I run into anyone with a good nose, they're going to ask questions, and I'm going to have to come up with a defense for why I'm sleeping with taken people."
Anko rolls her eyes. "We both consented, isn't that enough?"
"It's enough for me," Kakashi says. "But also, I care about my darling kohai and want to make sure you're not going to break his delicate heart."
Tenzō groans and drops his head onto his arms. "Senpai, I'm not a teenager."
"Barely."
"Senpai."
"We're dating," Anko says. "Maybe. I don't know, it's a bit beyond friends with benefits, and it's not really open beyond a list of pre-approved exceptions and threesomes. We're not seeing anyone else without consulting each other, isn't that enough?"
"Sounds like dating to me," Kakashi says.
"But we don't do dates," Anko protests. "Like, we just hang out, bitch about our respective traumas, maybe watch a movie…"
"Movies are dates," Kakashi points out.
Anko throws a pillow at him from the couch. "Shut up."
"If people ask, just tell them we seduced you," Tenzō says. "Together. Don't give them more than that."
"Keep it vague," Anko agrees. "Our business ain't nobody else's business."
"I mean, it's a little bit Kakashi's business," Tenzō says. "On account of how he did, in fact, sleep with us."
"Did a bit more than sleeping," Kakashi says, and smiles as brightly as he can when Tenzō gives him a look that is best described as Tired Of Your Shit, Senpai.
Anko rolls her eyes. "Oi, get dressed and all that. I'm taking your little ward—"
"I don't know if she's really—"
"—out shopping, goddamn Hatake, do you really want to argue this? She is legally your ward until the paperwork goes through. That is the least loaded word I could use, come on."
"You could just call her my teammate."
Anko shares a disgusted look with Tenzō. Kakashi is gratified to see that Tenzō is somewhat less annoyed by Kakashi's shit than Anko is.
"Go shower," Anko orders. "You smell like sex."
"That's not a bad—"
"Hatake!"
#
The welcome-back-from-the-dead party goes off more or less without a hitch. Kakashi's almost proud of it, except it wasn't even mostly his job. There's a significant amount of crying, mostly from Gai but also a fair bit from Raidō of all people, and Kakashi finds out that Rin had apparently been one of the people to talk him through his own 'figuring out I don't like girls' process way back when they were all teenagers. There's a lot Kakashi doesn't know about his friends, both then and now, but he can at least say he's trying these days. He's taken aside by no less than four different people to ask how he's handling it, and he just keeps telling them that he's doing therapy about it, and doing his best to not be clingy.
It passes, though. People go home, more or less all sober since both of the guests of honor are technically under the age of twenty, still, and the Uzumaki kids and Sasuke are all in attendance. Sasuke sticks around for a sleepover with the kiddos, and Kakashi joins the Uzumaki adults and the dead teens club with cleanup.
They end up where they often do, lounging across the living room with tea.
Kanna slams a privacy seal into the wall, cuddles into her wife's side, and yawns. "Holy fuck, these things are tiring."
"That's what you get for owning a house instead of getting an apartment," Kakashi says. He's on the loveseat with Shisui and Rin, and it wouldn't normally be enough room, but Rin's basically glued to his side at the moment. She's drowsy, too, because for all that she was a teenager in the middle of a war, she's still a teenager, and that means her body is still growing and she's going to get tired more easily than the adults.
"I have five kids," Kanna snaps.
Kakashi smiles at her.
"Now, now, you're both pretty," Sakura says, patting Kanna's head with that self-same indulgence. "Beautiful, even. No need to fight."
"When did you get married?" Rin asks. "Before or after the, um, reset?"
"Before," Sakura says. "But not by much. It was… we wanted to do it with all our loved ones in attendance. We'd have waited longer, but when you're at the end of the world and about to lose everything…"
She frowns into her tea, and then shakes her head. She looks up and offers a smile. "We couldn't bring much back in time with us, since our bodies had to be cleared of any seals that could interfere with the time-travel, so anything we brought back had to fit into our packs. No abusing storage scrolls, you know? We've got a few photo albums and the like hidden away. The things that meant most."
It's kind of a depressing answer, so Kakashi offers his own commentary. "It sounds a lot like pre-war marriages. Shinobi that were about to get sent out to the frontlines would get a courthouse wedding, sometimes just to have the paperwork to argue a will, or just to know they'd made something official and real before it was too late."
Kanna shrugs. She lifts her hand, fingers laced with Sakura's, and wiggles it as if to say 'see what I've got here?' It's cute. "Whatever you want to call it, it was worth it."
Sakura flushes and turns to press a kiss to Kanna's head. "I love you, too."
"Ugh, emotions."
Sakura giggles and puts her cheek to Kanna's head. "You loooooove me."
"Ugh."
Kakashi doesn't even try to hide his smile. "You two are adorable."
"I know," Sakura says, smug as the cat that got the cream. "I have the most gorgeous wife on the planet, and she's a badass."
Kanna pouts.
"You should've seen them when they first met," Kurama says, and everyone latches on.
"Oh?" Shisui prompts.
Kurama grins, deliberately ignoring the protesting kunoichi. "Yeah, it was right after the big important stabbing. Sakura saved Kanna's life, except Kanna was still kinda screwy in the head—"
"Oh fuck you."
"—and in love with the guy that stabbed her, a bit, but also like…" Kurama seesaws a hand in the air. "Vaguely aware that he was a piece of shit? So she was bouncing back and forth between loving and hating him while in jail."
"It was an act," Kanna protests. "So I could break out."
Kurama ignores her. "Meanwhile, Sakura's out on the frontlines, no thought in her head for the girl whose life she saved from the guy they were both inexplicably in love with, when Kanna shows up with the idiot in question on a fucking Susanoo—"
Shisui whistles. "Impressive."
"Annoying, more like. Anyway, there's a whole lot of yelling, I don't remember the exact order things happened in and, honestly? Nobody did, shit was wild and Madara showed up to get his ass kicked by Maito Gai because the revived Hashirama was dealing with a different problem—"
"What," Kakashi says.
Because what.
"—and Sakura just up and broke Sasuke's jaw," Kurama finishes.
Shisui chokes on his tea.
"Oh no," Rin whispers.
"In my defense," Sakura says, blushing something fierce, "He was being a moron, and we were both seventeen, and it was an incredibly stressful situation."
"Oh, he absolutely deserved it," Kurama dismisses. "He didn't deserve you healing it five seconds later, but he absolutely deserved the broken jaw."
Shisui puts a hand over his eyes. "I'm not hearing this."
"Sorry, Shisui," Kanna says. "Your baby cousin was the worst for a while."
"Am—am I supposed to stop that?" Shisui asks. "Is that why you brought me back from the dead? So I could stop Sasuke from going bugnuts? Because, like, I was aware he went kinda nuts but I didn't know he was stabbing his teammates for shits and giggles."
"He was stabbing to get to Danzō," Kanna clarifies.
"Fucking Danzō," Sakura groans. "I am so glad we got rid of him early."
"You were the one complaining about upping the timeline."
"Oh," Sakura coos, pinching Kanna's cheek and getting her hand slapped for her troubles. "I'll never doubt you again, hun."
Kakashi snorts.
"Wait, no, really," Shisui presses. "I held off on asking because I cannot get Sasuke to leave me alone half the time, so there hasn't been a chance, but why did you bring me back? Rin's obvious, but why me?"
"Honestly? You were the only person we could think of that Itachi would listen to," Sakura admits. "We were hoping you could at least convince him that his plan of traumatizing Sasuke into becoming stronger was a bad idea, and that we could adjust from there depending on who got how far with Obito. Optimally, I'd have been able to use my own Mangekyo to draw both of you into a Tsukuyomi conversation without Obito interfering, and get some semblance of a plan going. We had ideas, just not enough info on where Akatsuki's at with their own stuff. We even had a nullification array to combat the anti-Sharingan properties of the wards on me, but… obviously, we didn't turn that on in time since our favorite dumbass got involved."
"So… you were using me to get to Itachi," Shisui summarizes. "Because he loves and trusts me and my judgement."
"I mean, again, the first and foremost goal was to convince him that traumatizing his little brother into being stronger is a terrible idea," Sakura says. "I'd love for Itachi to have the option to come home, because he's been through way more shit than he deserves, and is still a teenager fighting a war that should be fought by adults, but for as long as he's in Akatsuki, I want him to fuck over Zetsu, because…"
She trails off and just gestures emphatically.
It's a decent summary of the giant steaming pile of nonsense that is Kaguya's will.
"Sasuke did eventually get better," Kanna tries to reassure Shisui. "Still a master of absolutely terrible decisions, always, but better. We wouldn't have ended up dating him if he hadn't wised up."
"How did you two get together, though?" Rin asks. "You mentioned breaking Sasuke's jaw, but…"
"Eh, it took a few months," Kanna admits. "But I saw her do that and caught the yelling and realized that he'd put the two of us through pretty similar shit, and we got to talking. Just spiraled out from there."
"She found me crying one night," Sakura says, and brings their hands up to press a kiss to Kanna's knuckles. Her eyes are unbelievably warm. "Asked what was wrong and helped me through it. She told me my chakra was too kind to ever feel that sad."
"You make me sound like such a sap."
"You are a sap."
"Am not."
Sakura purses her lips, eyes dancing with mirth. She leans over Kanna, an affectionate, looming hug. "You said that nobody who saves as many lives as I do should have to feel bad about not doing enough. You held my hands and told me that you thought you'd never felt any chakra as comforting as mine when I was healing, and you volunteered to play radar with our camp specifically because it meant you got to sense me fixing people up, and it made you feel like there was hope in the world, because the medic camp was filled with people who only wanted to help, people who were desperate to help, and you'd spent years surrounded by Otogakure's indifference."
Kanna's face is burning. She stuffs it down into a pillow and wails, "Shut uuuuuuuup."
Sakura giggles. "You just kept complimenting me and looking so upset that I was sad, though! It was really cute!"
"Did you kiss?" Rin asks.
With a grin, Sakura says, "I asked her if I could kiss her, and she looked so confused, it was the sweetest thing. She got all bright red, like she is now, and wouldn't look me in the eye. Just kinda stuttered and finally said 'well, if you're, like, sure that you want to or whatever' and just had this total tsundere moment."
"I'm not a tsundere," Kanna protests. "I'm just an asshole!"
Sakura pats her head, "Sure, babe."
"So you kissed," Rin says, with a sharp little nod.
"We did," Sakura confirms, and presses her lips to Kanna's cheek. "And we've been together since."
"What the shit," Shisui says. "That's adorable, oh my god? That's so sweet? What the hell, that's like something out of a romance novel."
Sakura giggles. "It was. I'm glad I can share that story now, even if Kanna-chan only even noticed me at first because I broke Sasuke's jaw."
"Jealousy knows no bounds," Kanna sighs. "Also, I first noticed you because you saved my life after he stabbed me. Additionally, that story is embarrassing."
"It's cute," Sakura corrects.
Kanna rolls her eyes. "Ugh."
"Did you ever consider, uh, dating? Or going poly again, I guess?" Rin asks.
Sakura makes a face. "Kind of, but it's a little hard to make genuine connections when you're hiding this many secrets. Most of the shinobi our age are people we knew before as the teacher generation, and in a lot of cases we know more of their secrets than anyone would be comfortable with, so it's just… it's awkward. Like, I helped deliver Kurenai's baby in our timeline. My friends were her students. One of Gai's students had a crush on me. One of Asuma's students was my childhood best friend. Anko, Genma, Ibiki, Hayate? They were our Chuunin Exams proctors. Tenzō went by Yamato when I met him. Like? It's. It's a lot."
Kakashi can't really ignore the super, super obvious omission. In his defense, he's been trying very hard to not draw the conclusion for a week now. Like, it's been right in front of his face, but he's been ignoring it! Because it's going to be awkward!
He knows this, and yet.
"Sakura?" He asks.
"Hm?"
"Was my older self your Jounin sensei?" He asks, as carefully and evenly as he can.
Sakura freezes.
She grimaces.
"Ah. Yeah. You were."
Kakashi nods.
He keeps his face blank.
"So. When Jiraiya mentioned that Kanna had joked about you being 'hot for teacher,' and you protested that it wasn't about Tsunade, but about a male teacher twice your age…."
Sakura flinches.
"That was… that was about me, wasn't it?"
"Mm-hm."
Kakashi looks down at his tea. He considers it for a moment.
"I, uh. I need some fresh air."
He goes for a walk.
[1] I legit only found out about Yukimi the day before writing this, but? I love the concept of her? So.
A/N: Sakura didn't punch Sasuke in canon but she deserved to.