Hello, every week I get so excited to write and then every week it's both harder and easier. I just am so excited to write this story. So excited to take it to its conclusion. I already have the last chapter or the last scene written but anyway. Sorry that I take a while sometimes to write. Back with 1 big chapter, split into 2 again.
Thank you to Nons for everything, truly xx. Also part of the reason I feel so motivated is your reviews. You are all amazing and so kind and I'm beyond grateful xx
A week later and Hailey's working alone again at the bar. No sign of Marcie. She'd had a text not even acknowledging her absence from the bar. One word only, Yes, in response to Hailey's question 'Are you ok?'.
It's never busy enough for her absence to matter in terms of Hailey being rushed off her feet. It begs more questions though than it answers. Questions that Hailey's not confident Marcie would give the answers to now, even if she could or wanted to. Half of her wonders whether it's voluntary on Marcie's part for her not to be there.
Whether Ryan and Paula had asked too many questions including about Kacey Stapleton.
Jay and Hailey in the last week have played their roles. With no questions, not querying a thing they're asked to do.
Still no sign of Steven Flynn and no trace of Anthony Hunt. It's like the trail if they even had one has not just gone cold but has frozen in its place.
Now it's late evening, and she's shifted the bottles into a different order multiple times in the fridges. She's people watching now and trying again to make sense of the case and where the land lies.
She hears the whistle rather than hearing her name being called followed by a click of fingers and flicks her gaze towards the end of the bar where Barnet is sitting, smirking as he watches her.
"At last, Paula. Now how about you get me a beer and then come over here and we'll talk."
She smiles and complies, grabbing a bottle from the fridge and memorizing what Marcie had told her was Barnet's favorite beer and flips the top off and puts a napkin down in front of the man and places the bottle on top.
"We've never had the chance to talk properly, Paula. So a reminder, I'm Peter Barnet, born and raised in Chicago. How about you?"
"Paula Wilson. Born and raised in Canada. Tired of being crapped on by terrible boyfriends in that country. Decided I'd come to another and get crapped on by them here instead."
Barnet narrows his eyes as he takes a swig from the bottle, swallows and points at her, laughing as he does.
"Marcie said you were funny. Inquisitive, or as I like to say, nosey, too. Sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong but funny and the customers love you and we'd have been screwed without you this week if you weren't here."
Hailey nods but doesn't reply. Sure enough, Barnet fills the silence.
"Marcie told me you'd asked after her. She appreciated it. I did too, she also told me you and Ryan spent Thanksgiving at her place."
"That's right."
"Fuck him if you want to, I don't care. But Paula, I can tell you this, you mess with his head, you distract him from the reason he's not behind that bar anymore, well.
Barnet doesn't complete the sentence, instead he fixes a stare on Hailey and shakes his head.
"Is that a threat, Mr Barnet?"
His laugh is disdainful, his eyes cold, "Paula, Paula, Paula," he says, his fingertips grazing against her arm, "Honey, you would be very aware if I threatened you, trust me."
Hailey looks down at his fingers and manages a smile, "Good, just checking. As for Ryan, I barely know him. I'm not ready for anything."
"I got news for you sweetie, he ain't ready either. For a relationship. He won't be ready for some time either, doesn't stop a man needing some relief though, you hear me?" He winks as his fingertips continue to graze on Hailey's skin.
Hailey steps backwards, smiling politely as she points toward the already almost empty bottle. "Get you another one?"
Barnet's laugh is even more disdainful this time right, "Oh Paula, you got the wrong idea. I already got a girl, I won't be coming after you or at least not soon. See if I get bored with my girl and who knows but let Ryan have some fun too."
"Just not too much?"
"You learn fast, Paula. I like you. Don't fuck things up."
Hailey grabs 2 bottles, one for her and one more for Barnet, flips the caps off and places the full bottle in front of him as he holds up the now almost empty bottle and clinks hers against it.
"You can count on me, Mr Barnet."
"I hope so, Paula. I hope so. Anyway, you'll get to see Ryan tomorrow."
"Oh, one of the staff meetings?"
Barnet's laugh is more genuine this time, "Staff meeting? I'm using that one, Paula."
He drains his drink and winks at Hailey as he picks up the other bottle and without another look at her makes his way back to the door in the far corner, Hailey's gaze following him in case he looks back to her.
He doesn't.
Someone clears their throat behind her and she whirls round to see Terry leaning against the bar, giving her a sympathetic smile as she walks the short distance to stand in front of him.
"You remember what I said dontcha Paula?"
"Don't get sucked in?"
Terry makes an impressed sound, "Exactly. Too late for Ryan, but I don't think that's the case for you."
"Too late for Ryan?"
Terry looks behind him, towards the door in the corner and back at Hailey, pursing his lips before he nods, "Okay, perhaps if he's got you on his side, it won't be too late. Make sure you have an exit strategy, Paula. For both of you if you like him that is even if it's only as a friend, just in case."
He pushes away from the bar before he pauses and leans in closer, "Marcie'll be back tomorrow, make the most of the absence of chaos till then," then he strolls back to his seat where Hailey can see his glass is still full and sits down, takes a sip and reverts to the Terry she's more familiar with.
Or had been anyway.
There's enough of a routine now in Jay's deliveries and Barnet's too that Adam's CI, Karl has introduced him to one guy who runs the bar where a vets group takes place and where Barnet regularly delivers.
Next Tuesday, Adam will go under and the delivery takes place on the Friday. Enough time they hope for Adam to install himself as someone reliable enough to unpack the deliveries.
Though the more time goes by and the more the crates don't weigh enough in the main to be alcohol, Jay's convinced the deliveries contain drugs.
Quite what type of drugs is the question.
Jay's doing better now. He'd managed an almost uninterrupted 3 hours of sleep last night.
He's got the meeting in a couple of hours and he's checked and double checked the wire. He's firmer than ever on the story he'll share and he'll be more vigilant than he was before. Knowing of course he's got Hailey's back up too.
Hailey.
They've been in contact via text and once on a phone call, but that's all. Hailey working every night and into the early hours at the bar in Marcie's absence and Jay starting the deliveries early had meant that seeing each other would have been difficult and hard though not impossible to explain if Barnet and Co were in any way tailing them.
So instead of meeting, they'd messaged each other on each other's UC phones. As Paula and Ryan aside from one call on their usual cells where they'd discussed Marcie's absence ahead of Hailey checking in with Antonio.
Hailey's easy to work with, Jay's realized. Easy, smart, perceptive, which is the only downside sometimes when he can tell that she picks up on things few others would.
Ever since Thanksgiving and the brief kiss on the cheek, the invitation upstairs that he'd declined, his instinct had been to withdraw further.
Surprised with himself that he'd even considered the possibility. Uncertain that the consideration he'd given to it was only for undercover reasons; just to go with the idea that Paula and Ryan had something more than friendship.
She's different from Erin. Maybe it's the absence of that initial attraction. Or that she came into his life, to Intelligence, when things with Lindsay were at a low right before Lindsay walked out of his life.
He knows that any relationship could be a rebound. Hold on, he says to himself. Relationship? The fact he's even considering the word regarding Hailey is as surprising as it isn't. As surprising as the realization that the idea doesn't sound that strange. That he's looking forward to seeing her later and that while the nerves are gathering in his stomach knowing she'll be there at least before he goes downstairs? It gives him a sense of security that's not fully explained away as just him having a good partner.
He shakes himself, blows out a breath and checks the wire again, just in case.
Marcie's back, like Terry said she would be. Though she's not much help to Hailey.
It's not the Oxy, Hailey thinks.
More the way she avoids Hailey. The way she keeps shooting her glances, which when Hailey catches them are anything from fear to anger to looking like she wants to talk, the last thing she wants is to ignore her. She still does, though.
She doesn't even express excitement as it nears the time Jay'll arrive. Though a smile lightens her features finally when Jay walks in, she doesn't hug him like always.
Instead, she mutters a half-hearted hello which has Jay narrowing his eyes, the silent question clear and Hailey nods her head that yes, she's been like this all day.
"Everything ok, Marce?" Jay calls.
Marcie's lips quirk upwards despite herself, but she shrugs, like a sullen teenager rather than a grown woman.
"Aww, Marce, you're not still mad about Thanksgiving?"
Another shrug, though the smile comes more readily this time and she looks up and meets Jay's eyes.
"Welcome back," he grins, but she's already waving him away and busying herself at the bar and the sink area where she's holding the carafe that's empty and goes to walk away, starting off toward the door before she stops and turns around, walks up to Jay and hugs him with one arm.
"I'm still kinda mad but you and Paula are hard to stay mad at," She nods, apparently satisfied that it's enough before she turns away again and disappears through the door.
Jay watches her then returns his attention to the bar area and to Hailey.
"How are you, Paula?"
She grins, "Good, glad to see you again, Ryan. All set?"
"Yeah. All set," he winks.
Marcie reappears and smirks as she stands next to Hailey, "All I'm gonna say is you two'll make very beautiful babies."
"Marcie Townsend, any chance you can get back to being mad at us, I think I prefer that to you matchmaking," Jay says, his face as stern as possible.
Marcie throws her hands up in the air, "I don't see the problem."
"Which is part of the problem Marce." Hailey replies, looking at Jay who gestures towards Hailey while looking at Marcie and mouths, "I'm with her."
"You two really don't know love when it smacks you in the balls, that's the problem," Marcie complains.
Jay's about to reply when he sees Hailey's expression change, and he looks to his right to see Barnet.
"Wanna drink, Ryan?" Marcie asks.
Jay shakes his head, "No thanks Marce, sticking to water tonight."
Marcie looks ready to protest but Jay's already turned away and Hailey watches him leave, becoming an expert in crossing her fingers and all of her limbs that everything will be smooth this time.
Flynn's not there again. And neither's Hunt. Only Price and Barnet and their deceptively supportive smiles.
Jay bypasses the carafe for reasons he's not even certain of. Instead, he goes to the water fountain in the corner; he considers asking to use the bathroom so he can make sure the wire's working but doesn't get the chance.
Jay's more nervous than he had been, and it's not really a surprise in some ways because of what happened last time, it's just it's unexpected now he's here.
Jay usually has a handle on things, Jay normally tunes things out enough that the nerves or the adrenaline dump comes later. This, this is like when he was in The Rangers. Every single time something was about to go wrong in a way that Afghanistan could go wrong, Jay had felt the nerves.
He sits down heavily on the chair.
Except the chair turns out to be the floor and Jay blinks confused even as he feels hands lift him, the grip firm on his arms followed by a grip and a brief sharp painful sensation that's gone in an instant.
And the lights don't turn off this time, they flicker in and out, like someone's controlling a dimmer switch but in Jay's head instead of the room.
It's like he's floating. Can hear a voice, insistent.
Talk to us, tell us, you're safe here. They tortured you, didn't they? You're safe here, tell us Ryan, tell us. Only we can help, we'll make all this better. Listen to us, only us.
Jay's aware of everything in slow motion about twenty seconds behind it happening. How he murmurs a half hearted 'No,' twenty seconds after the sense of euphoria had left him as he says words doesn't understand.
The way he repeats 'No' several times when the memories come crashing down upon him.
The way he hears their words again and can see himself speak, hear himself speak, but he can't understand what he's saying because the words come mixed in with tears, with hysteria rather than euphoria.
The screams must be part of the nightmare? Part of some figment of his imagination. Right?
He shuts his eyes because he needs to rest, he's tired of seeing himself, he's tired of hearing himself, them, anyone.
It's safer to sleep. Even if that means he won't wake up. Jay blinks his eyes open at that thought because that was what almost killed him last time. The last time he was in Korengal Valley. That's what they're relying on.
Too bad that his mind realizes, but his body betrays him and his eyes fall shut, anyway.
It feels like lightning has struck twice when Hailey leaves without seeing Jay emerge from downstairs.
She considers waiting around. The weather's too cold to stand nearby though and in the brief time she'd spent in her car watching the exit to the alley, there had been someone at the door the whole time.
Too wrapped up in clothing suitable for the weather for her to identify them. There nevertheless, though.
She regrets her decision as soon as she sets foot in her apartment and checks her own cell, sees the words and mouths, "Fuck," with all the anger in her. Anger, confusion, everything.
She presses the call button and holds the phone to her ear, Antonio answers straightaway.
"We got no idea what the hell happened," Antonio says before she can speak, says something that comes with a tone which sounds a lot like despair and quiet simmering anger clear in his voice.
"And we don't know what the hell is happening to Jay," Hailey points out, rubbing her face, trying to think as quick as she can of a solution, a reason for it happening, "Did you get anything?"
"Yeah, a little longer this time but nothing we can use then suddenly nothing. Interference, like someone had stood on the wire and crushed it."
"Except last time we found no sign of damage."
"Yeah," Dawson sighs in agreement.
"They had eyes from the side door tonight."
"Price or Barnet you think?"
"I couldn't tell from the distance, but I guess so. Are we even certain they keep Jay there or anyone who they've helped?" Hailey does air quotes with one hand to the room, knowing Antonio will get it even though he's on the other end of the line.
"We can put someone nearby now."
"And risk them seeing us? And what if Jay's not even there? Nah, I think we got to hope that either I get a message like last time or Jay gets out without needing to be found."
"He'll be okay, Hailey," Antonio's reassurance isn't as convincing as it could be, "We're onto Tech tomorrow about the wire. Voight was in half a mind to go tonight."
"Call me if you get anything?" Hailey responds, sinking onto the couch, the weight of worry and the frustration exhausting.
"Sure and you'll let us know if you hear anything about Jay?"
"Yeah. Bye Antonio," she presses the end call button and drops the phone onto the couch, leaning forward and rubbing her temples, "Where are you, Jay?" she says aloud before she straightens, pulling the UC phone from her jeans pocket and holding the device between both hands, willing the message alert to sound.
The cell rings at a similar time of the morning as the last time and she's not asleep, really she isn't, she'd only shut her eyes to rest them.
A call instead of a message. She sits up and presses the answer call button.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is that Paula? Um, Paula Wilson?" A male voice. Against a busy backdrop of noise. She thinks she can hear announcements over a tannoy.
"Yeah. Paula speaking," she replies knowing already it's about Jay, perhaps Marcie actually but no, Hailey's instinct tells her it's Jay because it makes sense after last time. She crosses her fingers, shuts her eyes as she asks, "Who's this?"
"My name's Dr Kravitz, I'm a doctor from Northwestern Memorial. We had a guy brought in a little while ago, someone brought him in and gave your details to the receptionist. Said you were his emergency contact."
"Who? Who did this person bring in?"
"Ryan Foster. Is he known to you?"
That Dr. Kravitz doesn't sound too somber relaxes Hailey a little.
"Yeah, I know Ryan, is he okay?"
"He's generally fine. Listen, if you can come in ASAP, he's being fairly argumentative, wants to sign himself out AMA but if the results of the tox screens come back as I think they will. He shouldn't be alone or go home alone."
A million questions and thoughts spring to mind, but one thing stands out. That they've run tox screens on Jay. Tox screens within a timeframe that could show something even if the results take days.
It's something, at least.
Hailey's picking up her coat, feeling in the pockets for the car keys and is already on her way in the elevator down to her car as she says, "I'm on my way."
Jay's caught between exhaustion and irritation and an overwhelming urge to escape. Escape from here and escape from what happens each time he shuts his eyes.
Each time he closes his eyes though, he can't sleep, he can't escape because the memories come back, the sights, the sounds.
He keeps trying to escape here but there's always a nurse or a doctor ready to push him gently back onto the bed and tell him his emergency contact is on their way.
In his confusion, Jay's terrified that the initial relief he'd felt as soon as he was in any fit state to notice that he'd not been brought to Med and therefore the risk of seeing Will wasn't a reality had been premature.
That the emergency contact is Will and that someone will see him. Someone dangerous and just like that everything will get even more complicated. The op will go South and all Jay'll be left with are the memories he's spent so long trying to forget.
At least the attending had been on the ball. Jay's been through a series of tox screens. Urine, blood, saliva and if the time is right on the clock on the wall of the bay he's in, they did the screens within the time that if they were right last time and the drug was GHB, there's a chance it'll be detected.
That coupled with the wire could mean at least there'll be some kind of clue, some kind of breakthrough.
Jay needs it. Needs this as much as a person needs oxygen. Something to give him hope that the cost is worth it. That he knows every time he shuts his eyes, at least for the next couple of days, he'll wish he had matchsticks to hold them open.
When the doctor walks in, Kravitz, Jay thinks is his name and a quick glance at the name badge confirms his thought, he's followed by someone.
"Ryan!"
Hailey's look of relief and concern doesn't seem like an act, something put on for the doctor's benefit. It warms Jay even while he's confused. How did she know he was here? How did he even get here?
Unless.
Another mystery.
"As I said on the phone and as I was just explaining to you, Ms Wilson. Ryan's okay, all his symptoms, everything he presented with is consistent with GHB or some people know it better as Liquid X or Liquid Ecstasy. When he first came in, when I first saw him, he was still experiencing moments of euphoria but that was followed by exhaustion, listlessness. These are classic symptoms so I ran some tox screens. We should be within the window and we'll inform you as soon as we have results," Kravitz explains to them both, looking at Jay for the final few words.
Jay nods, "Can I go now?"
Kravitz turns to Hailey, "Will you be with him?"
Hailey nods at the Doctor before she smiles at Jay so softly as she scrutinizes him and not for the first time, it's too much for Jay and he lowers his eyes, his head and looks away.
"Yeah, I'll be with him."
"Ok, good then he can go. You have his insurance details?"
"Yeah, I do. I gave them when I came in," once again she's grateful that they dot every i and cross every t in the process for putting someone under so it wasn't a stumbling block here.
"Great, then you can leave Mr Foster," The doctor looks from Hailey to Jay, "I'm confident that if it is GHB, you've not suffered an overdose though continued exposure is always a concern. Please monitor him and if his condition worsens, call 911," he instructs Hailey who murmurs her agreement as Jay pushes himself from the bed and is pleased that he doesn't wobble.
He feels a little dizzy but more like he's been on an airplane for multiple hours or a ship for days and he's got motion sickness than anything else.
Kravitz is walking to the door when he stops and pats the doorway, "Oh yeah, and I checked. There were no signs of assault, you have two cuts though, one on your hand but that could be a paper cut and one on your neck which could be anything so I'm confident you've not been assaulted but please remember to report this to the police if you need to and particularly if you don't know how you ingested the drug."
"Thanks Doc," Jay replies, his fingertips searching for the cut on the back of his neck. The cut that's not sore so he probably cut it getting out the van sometime or some other way he can't quite place right now.
"Yeah thanks Doc," Hailey starts before she says to Jay, "Wait here," and follows Kravitz to the nurses' station, "Doctor, do you know who brought Ryan in?"
Kravitz picks up a clipboard and scans the contents, shaking his head, "They didn't leave a name according to this. Gave your details and left. Honestly, as long as they provided contact details and as long as we see no sign of assault or worse, we're too busy as you can see to worry about anything other than be grateful he was brought in," he places the clipboard down and looks behind Hailey, nodding, "I got to go, other patients to treat."
Hailey nods even though he's already gone, and she turns fully to see Jay leaning against the doorway, looking more tired than he had before so she walks over to him and tilts her head to one side before she lifts her hand and sweeps at his hair, making it neater, less like he's been through hell again, less like he'll go through hell one more time when he knows the wire failed.
"Let's get you home," she says as she links her own arm with his and he leans into her all the way back to the car.