(Set after episode 5, season 11)
"Out of my way, need to vote that orange idiot out of office." Archer snapped as he shove people out of the way. "Seriously, how the fuck did american vote for a dumbass bastard that spend more time golfing and posting racist ass tweets the first time is beyond me, BUT I REFUSE TO LET IT HAPPEN A SECOND TIME! Seriously, I am glad I was in a coma for most of that time!"
"Why are you shouting at us for, we know he sucks!" Lana snapped.
"Then why aren't you moving faster to the polling place!" Archer snapped
"CAUSE WERE WAITING FOR THE ELEVATER DUMBASS!" Lana snapped back.
"Oh..." Archer muttered "Still though, we gotta get rid of that guy! When I learned that he became president, I made it my lifework to make sure he voted out of office!"
"You only learned that yesterday, remember?" Lana snapped
(FLASHBACK!)
"Welp, guess what I did this weekend." Archer said as he walked into the cafeteria
"Clip your toenails?" Krieger asked half-interested
"Had choke sex?" Cheryl asked, honestly curious.
"Don't care." Lana muttered boredly.
"Watched all the new star wars stuff AND Star trek stuff... honestly prefer the SW but Lower Deck pretty funny." Archer admitted. "So now that I caught up with all stuff fiction-y I can now focus on the boring stuff." Archer said
"Yeah like what?" Ray questioned
"Like who the heck the current president is." At this everyone did a double-take.
"Wait... you have no idea who the president is?" Cyril questioned
"NO CYRIL I DON'T! I was too busy with physical therapy, moving back to new york! Finding out that damn lemur somehow alive! honestly it been a stressful couple of months so I avoided politics till now. So tell me who it is already. I assume it's Hillary, not a fan but at least Bill will come back as well." Archer shrugged.
"Wait, Mallory was with you, how the hell did she not tell you about it?" Lana questioned
"The idiot never brought it up so I didn't bother!" Mallory said defensively.
"Let me tell him." Cyril said "I will add you all to my will if you let me tell him."
"Cyril NO! This requires a delicate touch, he might go crazy when he hears it." Ray said
"Go crazy? OHH LET ME DO IT!" Cheryl cackled
"I'll tell him! " Pam snapped. " Archer there no easy way to say it, so I'll just be blunt. Trump won."
"He won what?" Archer blinked.
"The presidency," Pam said.
"Of what?" Archer asked.
"Of the United States," Pam said.
"Which United States?" Archer asked.
"Our United States," Lana sighed.
"Trump is the president of the United States?" Archer blinked. "Am I still in the coma?"
"No Archer," Lana sighed.
"I know how you feel Sterling," Mallory sighed. "I'm still shocked at what happened! I mean the man does not know how to keep his temper in. He can't figure out he has to pander to those whiny crybaby liberal elitists and the poor minorities that expect a handout every five minutes!"
"And that's her saying that," Pam pointed.
"I'm really worried," Krieger said. "I was born in Brazil! I'm not even sure I'm a legal citizen!"
"Krieger you're a Nazi science experiment!" Mallory snapped. "You're barely a person much less a citizen! And how do you think I feel? I'm the one who got you into this country! If you get caught I get caught! And the last thing I need is a smuggling rap on my record right now!"
"Wait, did he amped up deportation?" Archer blinked
"SEVERELY, they don't even bother sending them back to the home country, just dump them in concentration camp." Pam said
Archer gasped
"Other crimes he committed were 'Made it Okay to shoot hibernating bears (Archer gasped) Called third world world countries assholesl called what white supremacist 'fine people' (Archer gasped louder) Gutted the E.P.A, Called Baltimore a 'Disgusting rat and rodent-infested mess', lost Hong Kong, allowed bounties on soldiers (Archer gasped loudest), withdrew from W.H.O, climate agreement, and the iran nuclear deal, and that just the ones on top of my head" Cheryl listed
"DEAR GOD!" Archer said disturbed "That can't be correct."
"It is correct." almost everyone intoned.
"Yep, he really fucked everyone over." Mallory muttered "I mean, we can all agree the bear thing is fine, I needed a new rug but dear god he like a five year old on everything else, and not one of the smart ones but the ones you strongly suspect the parents purposely dropped on the head as a baby."
"Waitaminute, you said you were shocked, he won." Archer said to Mallory. "I thought you were a Republican?"
"I am," Mallory sighed. "But…Well let's just say I've put a lot of favors and money on what I thought was the winning team years ago."
"What did you do?" Archer groaned.
"Let's just say I had Krieger get rid of some real estate files and a few e-mails and leave it at that," Mallory whistled.
"I don't believe it!" Lana groaned.
"I know!" Mallory groaned. "Not my best idea."
"Okay now I get it," Archer groaned. "Wait, what about Trump? Don't you have anything on him or any other favors? I mean the man did build a lot of buildings in New York…"
"Yes but…" Mallory winced. "He might hold a grudge against me."
"For what?" Archer snapped.
"Who knows?" Mallory waved.
"I'm sure you do," Lana gave her a look. "Spill it."
"I might have leaked a few tidbits to the press over the years on behalf of a few of his rivals," Mallory admitted. "But I'm pretty sure he has no idea I broke the news about him and Marla. Besides that was a whole ex-wife ago!"
"Oh dear God," Archer groaned. "What else?"
"Uh…" Mallory winced. "Let's just say I may have said something on behalf of someone else to the IRS and he found out about it."
"So in other words you're not getting back in the White House anytime soon?" Pam quipped.
"I haven't been back there since that incident in the White House pool," Mallory admitted "Like I was the only one who…"
"Stop!" Archer held up his hand. "Okay I'm going back IN the coma, I like the reality there than in here."
"Gotta admit, even though I was never there, I can't exactly argue either." Lana muttered.
(Flashback over)
"My point still stand, I am going down there to vote, no matter how bad the rush!" Archer shouted
(30 minutes later)
"Huh that was relatively painless." Archer said
"What were you expecting?" Krieger asked
"I uh rather not say." Archer muttered. "Welp this should be restless night till they declare winner."
"Yeah, try week, maybe two." Lana said
"WHAT?! Why?"
"Mail-in ballot." Krieger said
"Most of the office voted awhile ago." Lana said calmly.
"Oh... well I can wait for the results." Archer shrugged
(Before biden was declared winner)
Mallory and Ray exited the door only to see everyone fighting one another
"IT WAS YOU LANA! I CAN TELL YOU VOTED FOR THAT DUMB ORANGE! YOUR A SELLOUT LIKE YOUR DAD!" Archer shouted taking a swing and a miss from Lana.
"HOW DARE YOU! IF ANYONE VOTED FOR THAT JACKASS, IT'S PROBABLY CYRIL, WHO WE CAN ALL AGREE IS A PUSSY!" Lana snapped angrily as she punched Archer lights out.
"WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG! IF IT TAKES ANY LONGER THAT FAKE TAN MORON WILL TRY TO LAWSUIT HIS WAY OUT!" Cheryl shouted.
"YOU CAN'T LAWSUIT DEMOCRACY BITCH! BIDEN GOING TO WIN!" Pam shouted as she grabbed a desk and threw it at Krieger who yelped and ducked
"WATCH IT! I VOTED FOR BIDEN!" Krieger whimpered as Cyril can be seen rocking back and forth in his desk.
"Welp... This is disturbing." Ray blinked at the site.
"Wanna... just leave and get a drink." Mallory said
"After seeing this yes. Also, lets lock these idiots inside just in case." Ray said as they went back into the elevator.
(Most of this was made BEFORE Biden was declared president elect, I would to thank Red Witch for the scene and hope she likes my modification.).