(84 years later) Hello, I'm so sorry it's taken forever and a day to update. I've had most of this chapter written for a month or so but I felt so doubtful about it but then tonight I just thought nope, if you don't finish it now you never will. Thank you so much for all your support and patience and that people have still left reviews on this story as well as on the other one-shots I did, well I'm eternally grateful.
It's just 1 chapter this time. Also, I'm no medical expert.
There's a load more waffle down below, but I hope this doesn't disappoint. Thank you for reading x
Santa has a broken ankle, or at least a sprained ankle. The lady in the corner of the waiting area hit her head trying to grab the presents she and her husband had hidden up in the attic from their kids and there's a guy with a shirt wrapped around his fingers, too vigorous with a knife chopping the vegetables for Christmas dinner.
Hailey observes it all the way she always does. She can't help but notice, even though her attention's at thirty percent of its usual capacity right now.
What holds her attention most though is the clock in the corner. The one that at once moves too fast, but also too slow. Too slow because it seems like hours. Hailey reckons that it has been hours since she got here, though she's not sure and while she sees the time, it's not something she registers.
She's alone now. Al taking Kacey with him.
Not long after, Hailey had ventured further beyond the sliding doors. Encountering Will almost immediately. The older Halstead brother hadn't needed to say anything. He still did, though. Loudly. Words that stung, though if pressed Hailey couldn't repeat it. The ferocity she can recall. The words aimed at Hailey, but only because she was there. An easy target.
Words similar to the ones she'd fired at Rafferty once upon a time. Rafferty and the people above him. Repeatedly, hoping that they'd do more than tell her to calm down. That somehow they'd find Garrett.
Garrett. Each time she thinks of him. Thinks of the promises she made to herself. That she's broken and for what? To convince herself that she could keep doing it. That she was good at it. As if that even mattered. That it wasn't just an attempt to right a wrong and yet here she is waiting for another partner.
Although at least that's different from before, she hopes, and whatever happens there aren't the same unanswered questions. She rubs at her eyes and sighs, looking away and into nothing.
Someone clears their throat beside her, and she startles slightly. Hears the creak of a chair and looks toward it, her eyes settling on Will, who gives her a hesitant smile as he gestures toward the chair, though he's sitting down before she can nod her assent. She watches him closely, sees the redness of his eyes and the dark circles.
She clings onto the hesitant smile mentally crossing her fingers in her head.
"All things considered, he's lucky," Will begins then quickly amends, "If you call an overdose we think of GHB, hypothermia exacerbated by the overdose and being beaten to hell: luck."
Hailey doesn't trust herself to speak yet.
"He's stable. Serious but stable: The one good part about GHB is that it doesn't stay long in the system and there's no reason to believe he won't recover, and soon we hope."
She almost replies with a quiet, "I know," recalling when she'd got the call about Jay's previous brush with GHB just a few weeks before. Stopping herself in time, her thoughts rolling back to Will's reassurance.
Before she even gets the chance to articulate her thoughts, Will voices it for her.
"Physically anyway."
Hailey swallows reflexively, attention on Will who's biting his lip, his hands trembling as he drags them through his hair, his head bowed.
"You know I wanted him home so bad for Christmas. I wanted to see his stupid face. Wanted to fight with him over my dad and whether he should see him. Not like this, though. Not like this."
Will repeats the words, though his voice gets quieter each time until he stops finally and time stands still around Hailey. Just the words 'He's lucky' that she clings onto because that means he's alive and physical recovery is a start. The mental she can help with. They all can.
Assuming he lets them.
"I should apologize, Hailey," Will's voice cuts in on her thoughts and she catches up fast, immediately shaking her head as she does.
"You don't have to, Will. I get it," she pauses and then to emphasize her words more, she lays a hand tentatively on Will's arm, "I really get it."
"Still," Will insists, "I'm sorry, and I figured you'd want to come up and see him. You've been here so long and alone. Get you a hot drink on the way up?"
So long? Only now, as she nods, stands up and follows Will toward the sliding doors does she see the clock or make sense of what it's showing even though she's stared at it over the time she'd been waiting.
It's almost midday.
"Do I have to remind you you came here willingly, Marcie?" Antonio breaks the silence that's been heavy in the interview room for the past few minutes.
A game of chess or so it seems starting.
Everything Antonio had learned about Marcie, from everything Jay and Hailey had relayed to the background or the checks they'd run, to the woman's demeanor up till today, had given the impression of someone nearing the end of her rope. Close to breaking point. Fragile. Here and now? She's staring at her nails, chewing on gum and looking anywhere but at Antonio and Kim. Hell, even Voight hadn't scared her.
Voight who stepped out an hour ago and who Antonio knows is observing from behind the other side of the glass. It's Kim alongside Antonio now.
Hailey had mentioned that Marcie had appeared devastated by the phone call in the bar. She's no longer that person, Antonio wonders if she ever was.
"You realize that we can trace the call you received? You know that it will be better for you, Marcie, if you tell us all that you know?" Kim urges, "Right now, your part in all this is minimal and you came here voluntarily."
"What starts to not look good for you is that while a cop is in hospital, we don't know the extent of your involvement until you tell us or we dig deeper? Tell us what you know now. Why risk jail time for people that won't even give you a second thought when we get to them?"
For a moment, maybe a fraction longer but never long enough for Antonio to believe it, he thinks they have her. Her eyes flick towards him and she bites her lip, but then her back straightens and the sweet lady dealt the hardest of hands is gone without a trace.
"I should have smelled the cop on him and her. Guess I'm losing my touch, huh?"
Hailey waits as Will talks to one of the other doctors. Feeling a surge of hope when the other doctor smiles and Will responds in kind. Will turns toward Hailey, gesturing for her to join him. As she does, Will introduces her to the other man.
"This is Dr. Cain, he's been looking after Jay."
"You're Jay's partner? Will explained you'd been waiting since they brought in Jay."
Dr Cain is older, much older than Hailey and Will. His hair's gray, he looks weathered by his years, but his smile, the care in his eyes, is still there. It's heartening, given all he must have seen over the years.
"That's me. Hailey Upton," she extends a hand toward him, which he takes, his hand staying in place for a moment, his other hand on top. A gesture of comfort, unexpected, so it throws her off for a second.
Dr Cain apparently realizes this and pulls his hand away, making no comment but offering a sympathetic smile.
"I was just telling Will that Jay has improved a lot over the past hour. When he came in, he was in what I'd term the severely hypothermic range. His temperature was 29 celsius, and it was in danger of decreasing further quickly. Combined with shock and what was an excessive forced overdose of what we now know was GHB and add to that, concussion and other physical injuries, it didn't look good."
Hailey can recall all the autopsy reports easily and she feels the sudden urge to vomit, but Will's smile and Dr Cain's opening words to her pull her back from the edge of losing control.
"And now?"
"We used some active rewarming techniques to assist Jay's body temperature back to its normal status. We've used warmed IV fluids, he's been hooked up to a cardiac monitor, and all of that combined with the fact that the one good element of GHB is that it doesn't stay in the system long means that Jay has a very good prognosis."
Hailey sags with relief, nods, and blows out a breath, not able to find words as she looks past both men and sees beyond them for the first time, the room with a patient lying on a bed and realizes that it's Jay. She wants to learn more about Jay's recovery. Should probably know what to expect when she walks in and sees him there, but nothing else matters except for being by his side.
Right now.
She hesitates, though. Unsure of what's stopping her, till a voice beside her she realizes is Will's accompanied by the gentlest of shoves urges her forward.
"Go on."
Al's seen everything in his career. Witnessed horrors and seen the aftermath. If he's being real, he's also been responsible for and party to some of the worst sides of humanity, no matter how he or anyone would try to mitigate what they did.
He's seen and experienced the lowest moments that a man, no scratch that, a father can bear. Nothing could be lower than losing your own child. Nothing. Al wonders if losing her son was the moment Marcie changed forever. Or was the groundwork already laid long before?
He's watching her now, though she's unaware that he is. There's no sign of loss of composure. No sign of the skittish woman they all thought she was. She's utterly calm, and if she is acting, someone should call the Oscars Best Actress nominations committee and hand it straight to her.
They have no reason to hold her. She came here voluntarily anyway, and she's not asked for a lawyer, she's not asked to leave. It's crystal clear why she's here. Knowing it doesn't make it easier. They just have to hope she crumbles before she gets bored, before she thinks the coast is clear and the distraction time has been long enough.
"We got a call from Med."
Al looks toward Voight, breathing in and holding his breath, hoping that today won't be another day they lose someone so important to them.
"He's gonna be okay."
Al smiles, sending a thankful prayer up to a god he long since stopped believing in and then nods toward the woman he's been staring at the entire time.
"So what do we do with her?"
His oldest friend says nothing for a beat but then smirks, "It's Christmas, let's make her feel welcome," then after a beat, he asks, "When's Kacey Stapleton coming back in?"
"Tomorrow. Atwater and Ruzek took her back, and then I asked Trudy to send a unit over to monitor the place. Make sure no one goes looking for her. Maybe we can get to the bottom of what was on that pod footage that Atwater was looking at starting with her," Al finishes, pointing at the woman on the other side of the glass.
Voight nods, falls silent, and they both stare at Marcie who resumes her intense study of fingernails. Quiet for a moment. Until.
"We're going to nail these pricks, Al."
Jay's hand is warm. Warmer than it was even thirty minutes ago. He looks peaceful. Still too pale. But there's a small amount of pink in cheeks. Almost like someone stood at the end of the bed with a paintbrush and flicked some onto his cheeks, forgetting to take it off. It looks so out of place against the rest of his pallor.
Hailey's not sure how long she's been here now. As she looks toward the nurses' station, she can see Christmas greetings and hugs being exchanged. Changeover time.
It's such a contrast to the quiet intensity when each of those members of staff is with every single person being looked after. The same staff doing the hugging, laughing and chattering loudly who do their utmost to save Jay's life and all the other patients, or at least doing what they can to give them that chance.
Gradually, they've removed the equipment that's helped Jay recover to this point where it's only minimal now. A nasal cannula, IV, and the cardiac monitor are all that remain.
Hailey knows Jay's hand is warm now and warmer still than it was before because she's holding it. Gently rubbing circular motions with her finger. As much for her, she recognizes as it is for Jay. The worst has happened. Everything Hailey feared with this case came true. Lightning struck twice. Except Jay's breathing. Improving. She suspects she'll need to remind herself of this regularly. Not just a fact, more like a miracle is how it feels. More importantly, she'll need to remind Jay of it in weeks to come.
"The things a man does to get out of Christmas dinner with me," she quips toward the bed, her voice sounding loud in the room. It's just the two of them, the presence of a nurse or doctor, lessening in its frequency as time's gone on and Jay's condition has improved.
He doesn't respond, gives no sign of hearing, but the constant rise and fall of his chest is enough to make her smile.
"I'm glad he wouldn't have been alone."
Hailey looks up toward the voice, releasing her hold on Jay's hand as Will steps into the room from the doorway, pulls up a chair and drags it next to Hailey. He'd been here from time to time since Hailey's been with Jay. Still ostensibly on shift, stubbornly refusing Dr Cain and anyone in his proximity's suggestion that he stay with his brother.
He sits down on the chair, "The man hates Christmas though, or at least he has done since mom died and when he got home from Afghanistan."
"Does Jay's dad know that he's here?"
"No. Part of the reason I stayed on shift was distraction from worrying but also so I could avoid dealing with the fact I should call him or go see him and tell him, even if he chose not to come or even if he started complaining about Jay's career choice instead of being concerned about his youngest kid."
Will looks down, shakes his head, then holds up a hand, looking at Hailey and murmurs, "Sorry. You didn't need to know any of that."
Hailey almost tells Will that she knows a little of their history, but it feels like a kind of betrayal. Everything they told each other undercover is between them. Even if it's the truth, even if it's their reality.
"Families, huh?" She gives him a sympathetic smile.
"Yeah," he agrees then adds, "Hey, you ate anything today?."
Without waiting for a reply, he continues, "Go eat, I think sleeping beauty here won't be waking up for a little while. Go eat, get a coffee at least. I'll call you if he does."
Hailey looks at Jay, reluctant to leave but her stomach is begging for food, her exhaustion requires caffeine to lessen it and she needs to know what's going on back at the district.
"You promise you'll call? I gave you my number, right?"
"I promise and yes you did. Go. He'll be okay."
Hailey stands up, walking to the doorway before her heart can overrule her head.
The coffee is strong and reviving and the small amount of turkey she managed will sustain her till tomorrow. She's in the corridor near to where Jay is when she unlocks her phone and dials the number. Al answers within 3 rings.
"Hey, how's he doing?"
"Better. He's getting better all the time."
"That's great. How about you? How you holding up?"
She answers without thinking, "Tired," frowning at her honesty, she wonders for a second if she said it aloud but the quiet hum of concern from Al tells her she did so she quickly corrects herself, "Only a little tired though and I just had some coffee. Listen, has she said anything?"
Al waits a beat before responding and when he does, he jumps past the mention of Hailey's tiredness straight to Hailey's question and if she could reach into the phone and hug him, she would.
"Nothing. We're rolling out the welcome mat right now. We think she's trying to be a distraction. Everyone's reaching out to their CI's and Atwater's meeting one right about now. We'll get them."
"I should try my luck with her tomorrow."
"Think that's a good idea?"
"Can you think of a better idea if we get nothing from the CI's? Did Kacey tell us anything yet?"
"Tomorrow. We got patrols doing regular sweeps past to make sure nothing happens."
"Okay, and then I'll come tomorrow. Talk to her."
"And sleep tonight?"
Hailey walks toward the door to where Jay is and smiles into the handset, "Something like that."
"When he wakes up tell him to get well and I'll make sure we got plenty of coffee ready for you."
It comes from nowhere, the feeling of emotion. So hard that Hailey has to bite her lip to stop herself from crumbling. Coffee, that's all it took. Coffee, a thermos and the casual intimacy of it all. And now she's here on Christmas Day while Jay's on the first day of who knows how many days he'll need to recover from not just what they did to him in the hours he was gone, but also the damage of months of bringing back memories he's been forced to relive.
"Hailey?"
Al sounds worried, and she attempts a laugh that likely does more harm than good in convincing Al that she's okay, so she tries harder with her reassurance with words.
"I'll tell him, and thanks Al. See you tomorrow," then as an afterthought, too much of an afterthought but at least it comes to her today when it's okay to wonder, "I hope you're okay today too, you know with-."
She doesn't finish her sentence. Doesn't need to, and Al's quiet 'thank you' speaks volumes for what he doesn't say too.
"So yeah, he was the most annoying little brother," Will finishes the story with an eye roll but a look towards his brother that's filled with love.
"I feel that. I think little brothers are always annoying."
Will tilts his head to one side, "Oh yeah, you got a younger one too?"
"One older, one younger. Annoying as hell but wouldn't swap 'em for anything."
"I hear ya. Jay and I would butt heads constantly. Who am I kidding? We still do but you know I think we both turned out okay," he waits a beat and then quietly, carefully asks, "Anyway, what were you two planning on doing for Christmas?"
Hailey thinks of the turkey she'd bought and the time she'd planned to spend after she'd gotten home from the bar and through the night on preparing it and all the extras. Wanting it to be a surprise for Jay. She shrugs, returning Will's gaze, "Just a bag of potato chips or two and some cupcakes and lots and I mean lots of wine."
Will says nothing, just smiles before he looks away, back to Jay.
"You know, there's no way he'd spend Christmas with just anybody. Not after, well, everything. Not even just because he's undercover and the other prospect is being alone. Trust me, he's not one to shy away from that."
Will reaches out a hand toward Jay then pulls it away, his hand wavering in mid-air.
"So I figure you're good for him as a partner and someone he trusts, so thank you for that. Thank you for being there when I couldn't."
Hailey protests, "But he's here? I didn't-."
"Hurt him?" Will cuts in, finishing for her, though they both know that's not what she was going to say, "Because no, you didn't do this to him. Far from it, I can tell you care and he needs that. He deserves that."
Hailey nods in agreement to that at least, "And you? What were you going to do aside from being here?"
"Stay here till someone kicked me out the door and then I'd drive to our dad's place and I'd miss the arguments they'd both have with me the mediator and fill the void with my attempt at driving him crazy and it still wouldn't be enough," he chokes out a laugh, "How bad has it gotta be and how dysfunctional is a family when being at your brother's bedside in hospital is preferable to being with your old man on Christmas day?"
Hailey reaches out to Will, to the hand that's still wavering above the bed, close to Jay but still not touching him, and lowers it towards Jay, squeezing it before she releases it.
"Trust me, it's not that unusual."
"Gotcha," Will nods, eyebrows raised in recognition for a moment, then murmuring his thanks before he lays his hand on top of the blanket and Jay's leg underneath at last.
"We'll have to close down the undercover apartments," Al comments.
"We'll do that tomorrow. I was wondering if Hailey's cover was still live, but from what Marcie said earlier, it's not. Maybe if Hailey's back from med, it'll be a distraction from Marcie,"
Al smirks, "Yeah, good luck with that."
Voight's about to reply when there's a rap of knuckles on the door to Voight's office and Voight beckons Trudy in. She's holding an empty plate and wearing an unimpressed expression.
"We holding her?" She gestures with one hand towards the interview rooms.
"No. She's free to go until we get something. We don't have probable cause yet, though we're trying."
"I thought she was free to go, but she just asked for a pillow and a blanket. Like we're a hotel. Offered her a bed downstairs and even said I thought she was free to go and she looked at me like I was crazy."
"She's stalling," Al points out, even though he knows the others know it.
Voight points towards the bottle on the desk in front of him and the two glasses, "You want one?"
"Yes, but not here. I'm off in officially," she glances at her watch, "well, an hour ago, but Firehouse 51 caught a fire. He messaged me ten minutes ago and he'll be here in a little while and we can go celebrate Christmas more particularly now that Jay's gonna make it?" Trudy frowns, "That's right, isn't it? He's going to make it?"
"He's gonna make it," Al confirms.
"Good, you need me to send someone upstairs to keep an eye on her or is this an all night thing for you both?" she points towards the bottle and glasses.
"No need to send anyone up," Voight replies.
"Ok and when you that bottle runs dry, if you're out of coffee then I have a stash under the counter."
Al stands up, approaching Trudy and ushering her out, "Go and enjoy what's left of today with your husband."
She looks ready to reply, ready to say something else, but shakes her head and turns away, walking towards the stairs and calling out, "Just don't forget the coffee."
Will left a couple of hours ago. To see Pat Halstead, promising he'd be back before Christmas Day was over. He'd better hurry, as it's ten minutes till tomorrow comes.
Hailey shuts her eyes briefly. Her fingertips continuing their circular motion on Jay's hand. She thinks maybe she fell asleep as there's an unexpected movement that's like when you fall asleep and startle awake suddenly but then she opens her eyes and it happens again and she looks at Jay's hand, pulling her own away and then looks at his face. Hears the slight moan, sees the way his eyelids twitch, and she stands up, leaning over the bed and stroking his hair, avoiding the bits where bandages and dressings form like patchwork around his hairline and forehead.
"Jay, it's okay. You're okay."
She hears the footsteps behind her, a nurse, somehow they always know when something's changed even without alarms sounding or Hailey calling for them. Hailey focuses on Jay. The distressed sound he makes, and she continues her mantra.
"It's okay, you're safe. It's me, Hailey. You're going to be okay. Open your eyes, Jay."
The nurse stands on the other side of the bed, checking his vitals and eyeing the monitor, then nodding at Hailey and mouthing, 'Keep going."
She's not sure how long it is later that she hears another set of footsteps and the nurse moves out the way, Will taking her place. He looks exhausted, his eyes red. The time at Halstead Senior's house taking its toll. But then Will's lips curve upwards and tears fall freely down his cheeks, and Hailey follows his gaze back to Jay. Jay who tops them all in looking exhausted as his eyes open slowly, blinking at the brightness in the room.
It could be past midnight now, likely is so Christmas was yesterday, which means at least the events are firmly in the past even if the effects aren't. That fact and Jay's eyes, even surrounded by bruising and the signs of damage that cover his features and the frown that's firmly planted on his face, are the best things Hailey's known or seen. The best and only present she would have asked for.
"Merry the day after Christmas, Jay."
I hope it was okay. Can't stress enough how anxious I was about this chapter. . I know next ones will be easier as writing this with one of the main characters out of action when it's been such a story about those 2 main characters was always going to be hard and I got caught up in the detail of the medical side and overthinking this whole chapter.
Anyway, i hope to be back much sooner now. Coming chapters: Hailey vs Marcie? Kacey. What happened at Flynn's house? Who did they see on the pod footage? And we have Jay recovering with tons to come there though we are sort of on the home stretch but lots to tie up before that point. OH AND UPSTEAD. Anyway shut me up. I hope you're all staying safe, staying well and your families are too and if you're in the US, i wish you a safe and problem free voting time. xx