Title: Sand Wars
Author: Annie Dolnar
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T
Originally Written: December 2011
Wallabee Beatles and Kuki Sanban were sitting with each other in the park one day when an idea popped into Kuki's head.
"Wally... Do you see Abby and Hoagie over there?"
Wally glanced over and saw the two of them sitting back to back against two different trees, keeping an eye on the two on the bench. He shifted slightly. "Yeah, why?"
"Do you think they'd be a good couple?"
Suddenly Wally felt uncomfortable. "I guess so," he mumbled, wanting to skip to the part where she told him her plan to get them together, and then to get it over with. He knew her too well.
She sighed. "Did you see that?"
"Did I see what?"
"When she brushed her hand next to his a while ago, before they sat down. He was blushing like mad, Wally!" Kuki whispered.
Wally snickered. He had seen that, alright. "That was kind of funny," he admitted.
"I think he likes her," Kuki declared quietly.
"I think he thinks of her as a friend. You didn't hear what they said before that, Kuki. It could have been something that embarrassed him."
Kuki slumped slightly. "Maybe."
"You're reading too far into things."
"But they still like each other."
Wally was silent for a moment. "Yeah... I think you're right," he finally said. "But I don't think we should do anything just yet."
Kuki glared up at him. "If they had not done anything, would we be here today?"
He had to agree with that. "Maybe," he tried. Kuki wasn't convinced.
"There has to be something we can do," she muttered. "Something small, just to give them a little push in each other's direction."
"We could lock them in a closet," Wally suggested. "Then we'd get to be alone and they'd have to be alone."
His girlfriend smiled. "Alone without babysitters," she agreed, glancing at the two in question. "But maybe something more subtle? That could be, like... A last resort?"
Wally shrugged. "I guess," he said. "But if that's the last resort, what's the first resort?"
"Go on more dates like this, so they have to be over there spending time with each other?"
"But this is so cruddy boring..."
Kuki frowned. "I like the scenery. But, I don't want to make you bored, so maybe a movie next time?"
Wally shook his head. "No movies," he said. "I don't have the money for that right now."
"Okay... Then, the next time we have a mass sleepover, when Abby and I go to change, I'll mention something to her about how Hoagie's grown up a lot or something odd like that. You'll say something to Hoagie about Abby," she instructed, looking back at the boy and girl sitting with their backs to the trees, the girl crumbling dead leaves in her fingers, the boy staring at her, deep in thought.
"Maybe I'll mention the staring," Kuki muttered aloud. Wally chuckled. "At least it's not like a creepy staring," she pointed out defensively. "It's more... Affectionate, I'd say."
Hoagie looked away from Abby to start texting on his phone, at which Abby looked over at him and said something. Hoagie replied with a smile, but whatever he said, she didn't seem very happy about it, and so she got up and walked off. Hoagie got up and followed her.
"I wonder what he said?" Kuki wondered.
"Probably something stupid," Wally said matter-of-factly. "I think we should all go to Lime Ricky's," he said, as Abby swiped Hoagie with her hat. "The animals in this park get kind of feisty sometimes."
"I agree," said Kuki, sitting up. "Abby! Hoagie! We're going to Lime Ricky's!"
Abby and Hoagie, startled, turned to look at them as thought they had forgotten they were there. Kuki laughed as Abby, grumbling, made her way back to the couple on the bench. Wally scratched his head.
"Wait- Wally, didn't you say you didn't have the money for this stuff?"
"Lime Ricky's is a hell of a lot cheaper than the movie's," he said. "I have money for a soda at Lime Ricky's, not ten trips to the movies."
She nodded. "That's smart," she said, a serious look on her face. Wally blushed.
"I'm watching my spending," he said.
"For medical school?"
"How did you know?" he asked incredulously.
"Wally, yesterday you asked me if I thought the class that took trips to the hospital sounded cool when our teacher brought up course selection. How could I not know? But you'll need my help with History and English if you want to get into any good college."
"Yeah," he grumbled, as though he didn't like admitting he needed help from anyone for anything. Hoagie and Abby arrived at that moment, not looking at each other. Kuki sighed inwardly, wondering what the heck could be wrong with them. Wally simply rolled his eyes and got into his car. "If you guys aren't coming, I'm leaving without you. 'Cept you, Kuki."
Quickly everyone dashed into the car and they were off.
Abby and Hoagie didn't say a word to each other the whole ride to Lime Ricky's, and refused to look at each other when they got there, even though they were forced to sit next to each other. Kuki, however, decided to be oblivious to this and to drink the soda she shared with Wally, who eventually followed her lead after many failed attempts at getting the angry ones to talk to each other.
What happend? Kuki wondered as they left. One second they were laughing and joking, and the next second they hate each other!
Wally's thoughts were along the same lines. What kind of bipolar crud is this?
Meanwhile, Hoagie was stealing glances at the girl who was mad at him for no reason, wondering if and when she would apologize. And Abby was calmed down, but embarrassed at her outburst of anger over something so small. Abby should have known, she thought to herself dully, wondering why she was still a little pissed.
END CHAP
PART TWO
"So Abby... I saw Hoagie staring at you the other day, in the park. And it didn't look like you had anything on your face, you know, so..."
Kuki shook her head. "No, she'd never believe me if I put it like that. Wait! 'Hey Abby, why was Hoagie staring at you yesterday? Did you say something funny? Cuz I'm in the mood for jokes.' No, no, that won't do either! Come on, Kuki! Think!"
She sighed defeatedly. "She'd be onto me like bears to honey. And I can't think of anything except what Wally suggested. Gosh, why couldn't they just talk to each other!?"
Abby and Hoagie had still not been talking, and Kuki was beginning to worry. She figured Hoagie had really said something stupid if Abby wouldn't say a word to him, and he must not think it either, because he didn't seem anywhere near apologizing.
Kuki heard a knock at her front door and ran to answer it. Maybe it's Wally?
But the person behind the door had chocolate skin and brown eyes. Kuki smiled wide. "ABBY! Oh my goodness, I'm so glad you came, I just couldn't decide which pajamas to wear to the sleepover, and it was driving me crazy!"
Abby looked as though Kuki's words had been unexpected to her, but she went on in and followed her back to the room. "Kuki, you know Abby has a different fashion from you."
"Psh, it's not fashion! It's just pajamas! And we'll pick some out for you too!"
"Uh, Kuki... Abby don't know if she still wants to go."
Kuki stared at her. "And why not?"
"Well, uh... That's none of your business. Abby just don't want to go, is all."
Kuki sighed and sat on her bed. "I know you're mad at Hoagie," she said, "and I may not know why, but I do know that it's probably really stupid and you just need to forgive him and move on."
It was Abby's turn to stare. "Aren't those the exact same words I used with you the last time you and Wally got mad at each other, before you started going out?"
"Yes, actually," Kuki said gleefully. "I've been working on my memorization skills. But that's not the point, Abigail. We both know it's good advice."
"Do as I say, not as I do."
"Like that'll work with me," Kuki said, but she no longer sounded even slightly playful- now she was mad, Abby knew. "You're going to this sleepover; you are NOT leaving me with video games and yipper cards all night."
"Like Wally will leave you for yipper cards," scoffed Abby.
"In that case, you can keep Hoagie company. Either way, you're coming. Now."
She threw three pairs of pajamas in her bag and zipped it up. "You have stuff ready, or do we use the extras you keep at The Basement?"
Abby didn't know how to reply to this demanding side of Kuki, and Kuki didn't let her. "If you don't come, I'll tell Hoagie you french kissed Nigel a few days before he left."
"WHAT? But I've never-"
"Either way," Kuki said, now with a smile on her face. "So now are you coming?"
Abby, grumbling, followed Kuki out the door. How can someone so sweet suddenly become so nasty? Gah, I'm glad what she said was a lie, though. Ick. Ew. Like if I made out with my little brother.
Minutes later, they stood in the entryway for the TND base, Abby still grumbling.
"WALLY! WE'RE HERE!"
"Finally," the blond Australian groaned. "Put your stuff down so we can go, would ya?"
Abby and Kuki entered and dropped their things by the stairs and followed the boys back up, to the cars.
Perhaps this point calls for an explanation? The Basement is the TND base, and every now and then, the members of sector T(teen)-V have a mass sleepover like this one, in which they go to the beach first, then come back to the base and stay up all night (even though the beach wears people out pretty easy).
That is where Sector T-V was going today; the beach. Wally got into the driver's seat of the car, and before Kuki could come close, Abby jumped into the front passenger seat. Sighing, Kuki climbed into the back next to Hoagie, wondering why Abby couldn't just let it go. She gave Hoagie and Wally an apologetic look before turning to stare out the window.
They had been driving for thirty minutes and still had about thirty minutes to go when Kuki pulled out her cell and typed Hoagie a message.
"Wat is going on, Hoags?"
Hoagie got the message instantly and frustratedly sent one back.
"Nothing! I didn't do anything, really."
Kuki sighed. "Sumthin must have happened for u guys 2 b so mad."
Hoagie punched numbers in his cell so angrily, Kuki almost feared he would break it. "She got mad because I was texting Cree. But I am perfectly at liberty to text Cree, right? There was no reason for her to explode!"
"Didnt u tell her u wud stop pursuing Cree cuz she's an enemy n Abby's tired of puttin up w/ it?"
Hoagie frowned. "Yeah, but she texted me first! It's not the same thing! If she's the one pursuing me, then I'm not the one doing anything wrong!"
"Abby is still mad tho. U need to tell her how u feel about it all. Bcuz this is dumb."
"Is she really STILL mad?"
"I dun think so. I think she just afraid 2 apologize& maybe shes embarrassed? She knos she didnt hav 2 get so mad. But u still need 2 talk 2 her. While were the beach."
"No way! She should apologize first."
"Y? Maybe u shud tell her u forgive her, wether shes sry or not. I kno u do."
Hoagie paused for a few minutes to stare out the window. Just when Kuki was sure he wouldn't reply, she recieved a message.
"Yeah, you're right. Thanks Kuki."
Kuki smiled slightly. "Glad I cud help."
Meanwhile, Abby was trying to make Wally use his blinker when switching lanes, and Wally was doing a pretty good job resisting her. "I don't need to use some cruddy blinker if the only people on the road are us and the cruddy red sports car," he declared.
"It's the law!" Abby cried.
"Since when did we play by the rules?"
"Abby's right," Hoagie said. "What if that red car had sped up or something and hit us?"
Kuki smiled wide. Abby turned to look out the window, seeming frustrated. Wally sighed in relief; Abby was no longer on his case, since Hoagie was now in the conversation. Hoagie thumbs-upped Wally so he could see through the rearview mirror, and Wally jerked his head as if to say, "thanks, dude."
When they reached the beach, Kuki gladly climbed straight out of the car and into the sand, sliping off her sandals in order to enjoy it beneath her bare feet, not caring how hot it was, relieved to be at such a lovely place. Wally climbed out as well, but did not waste time enjoying the sand- instead, he quickly pulled the chairs and cooler out of the trunk, handed some sand toys to Kuki for her to carry, and said, "can you give me a hand, Numbuh 2?"
"Sure thing."
Once they had gotten set up, umbrellas and chairs set out next to each other and bathing suits on, Kuki went straight for the sand tools and asked Wally to join her. Abby laid out on a towel (as if she needed to tan or something), and Hoagie grabbed a soda out of the cooler and plopped down into one of the chairs close by.
"Wally, how big do you think the sandcastle should be?" Kuki asked, a little ways away (and out of earshot).
"A thousand times smaller than Sandy's. But big enough to sit in. Like a Fort," he said excitedly. Kuki giggled.
"I'll fill this bucket up with water then- so the sand sticks together," she explained. "And then we can cool off in the water..."
Wally shook his head. "No, then we can launch sand bombs at those two goons," he said slyly, pointing back behind him at Abby and Hoagie, who were relaxing in the sun (or, in Hoagie's case, under the umbrella). Kuki laughed and ran off with her bucket.
Meanwhile, Hoagie Gilligan was tongue-tied, trying to decide what to say to Abby, who he wasn't sure would even care. How could he tell her he forgave her without making her mad? He shook his head and pulled a book out of a bag- the book they were reading in school, Much Ado About Nothing.
A nearby kid playing in the sand shot him a funny look and asked his friend, "how come grown-ups always read at the beach?"
Hoagie heard them but kept his eyes on the book.
"I dunno," the other kid said. "THOSE grownups are playing though, look!"
Looking up from the book, Hoagie saw Wally and Kuki behind a tiny sand Fort, throwing balls of sand at each other and laughing, and he chuckled. Of course. He wondered if the kids were in the KND...
"Stop!" Kuki exclaimed, laughing. "We have- haha- to finish- the fort-"
She was laughing too hard, and she threw a sandball at Wally, who fell down laughing.
Suddenly, he saw a kid running up to them. Nervously, the kid said, "You guys are adults, right?"
"We're seventeen," said Wally. "Why?"
"It's just... I've never seen a teenager play before!"
Wally and Kuki exchanged looks. "Ever heard of the Kids Next Door?"
The kid narrowed his eyes.
"Well, we were in it once, and our friend made us promise to never grow up, no matter how old we got, no matter that we wouldn't remember. We're keeping that promise," he said with a smile.
"He moved away seven years ago," Kuki said, wiping a tear from her eye. "They let us keep our memmories because of him."
The kid's eyes widened. "You're the NBD Former Sector V?" he exclaimed.
"Not so loud!" Wally stagewhispered.
"GUYS!" yelled the kid to his friends, "COME QUICK!"
Wally groaned, but Kuki laughed as all the kids came running up to them. "These guys are the NBD Former Sector V," the first kid said in awe.
"No way!" a girl said.
"Prove it!" said a boy.
"I'm Numbuh 3," said Kuki, ignoring their comments. "This is Numbuh 4. Want to play?"
"Sure!" they said, and all of them started contributing to the Fort/Castle.
"I'm Numbuh 429," the girl said. "We're Sector W."
"I'm Numbuh 725," said the boy, the one who had come to them first. "I'm their leader."
"I'm Numbuh 523," said the second boy. "And we have one more member in our sector, but he's sick today."
"Who's you're other member?" Numbuh 3 asked curiously, gathering sand up against the fort.
"Numbuh 37; his mom is watching him like a hawk. And his brother is out with his friends today, so he can't do anything about it."
"Ah, Mum," groaned Numbuh 4. "Joey's my brother," he told them. They stared at him.
"Why didn't Joey tell us?" complained Numbuh 429.
"Probably because he doesn't remember I used to be an operative. He was only a baby, you know," Numbuh 4 said, rolling his eyes.
"It's weird to think of Numbuh 37 as a baby," Numbuh 523 said. "Gah, this castle is taking forever! Don't you guys have any 2x4 tech around here?"
"We're not allowed to use 2x4 tech," Numbuh 3 said pointedly. "Not unless it's an emergency."
"Ah, crud- who cares? All the adults here are just tanning. What're they gonna notice?" Numbuh 4 winked at the kids. Numbuh 3 sighed.
"We didn't bring anything but weapons to the beach, Numbuh 4."
"Yeah, but we brought the S.C.A.M. 2000," Numbuh 523 exclaimed. He pulled it out eagerly.
Sand
Castle
Automatic
Maker
Numbuh 4 looked amazed. "Whoa! They didn't have anything that built Sandcastles when we were in it," he told them. "But... Does it bury people in the sand?"
"Yup," Numbuh 523 answered.
"YES! Numbuh 3, I am SO putting in a request for one of those when we get back!"
Numbuh 3 just laughed. "So are we building this Fort or aren't we?"
"Yes!" they all said, jumping up and down.
"Ok, here's how this works," Numbuh 523 began, "you have to get buckets of sand and poor it in the cone as I shoot it at the area where we want the castle to be, and boom! But you can't stop pouring sand in until the castle is done."
"Kids Next Door, Teens Next Door- BATTLE STATIONS!" yelled Numbuh 725
Everyone ran for a bucket.
Meanwhile, Hoagie was talking to someone he was pretty sure was not listening to him.
"Um, hey Abby? I just... I wanted to say that even if you're not sorry, I forgive you. So you can talk to me, if you want to. But if you don't want to talk to me, then that's fine, I guess. But we're on the same team so it might be a good idea, you know..."
He trailed off nervously as Abby turned to face him, a sort of sad look on her face. She smiled. "Thanks Hoagie," she said. "Abby just needed time to get over it. But next time, ignore Cree. You know she don't like you!"
"How do you know that?" he asked indignantly.
Abby glared at him. "Because she treats you like dirt from my shoes. Remember who you are, Hoagie! You're a spy for the KND, and she's a Adult. Not even a SPY adult, either! A full-blown villain! What if you get closer to her and she weasels information out of you?"
"Why would I give her information? What do you take me for, Abby?" he asked, now irritated. "Do you not trust me?"
"I don't trust her Hoagie, but I do trust you, most days."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means do what you promised you would and stay away from her!" Abby cried, now standing on her towel. "Don't you see she'd only use you, even if she could stand you?"
Hoagie also stood from his chair. "She kissed me," he declared. Sure, it happened years ago, but Abby didn't need to know that. He was pretty sure that if she did, she didn't remember.
He was right. Her eyes were wide in shock. "Hoagie, she's using you! You're smart, you should be able to figure that out yourself!"
"How would you know what she's doing?" cried Hoagie. "You haven't even spoken to her in years!"
"She's my sister! I know what she's doing better than you do!" Abby growled.
"I talk to her more than you do! She actually tells me stuff now, you know!"
"Like what?" scoffed Abby, "the reasons why she likes you?"
Hoagie blushed deep red. "No," he said, "not like that, nothing like that! She tells me her favorite bands, foods, what's happening to her in college, what her friends are like, her regrets, her problems, stuff she used to love, stuff she always wanted to do. Stuff you probably don't even know about her because you haven't taken the time to get to know her again these last seven years!"
Abby stared at him, shocked once more. Was Cree really opening up to Hoagie like this? Telling him stuff only a true friend would know? She settled for one last question.
"Fine then, Hoagie. Anything she told you that I would know?"
He smiled one of those "haha, I know everything you don't" smiles and said, "when you two were in the KND, you both had a huge crush on Maurice."
She was blushing so bad you could've fried an egg on her face. Hoagie shot her one last glare before turning around to walk off, but when he did, something hit him in the back.
"What the-" he started turning around. Numbuh 5 threw her hands in the air.
"I didn't do it!" she said. Hoagie was about to believe she had, until he saw the huge sandcastle fort behind her.
Suddenly it was raining sand.
"Under the Umbrella!" Hoagie exclaimed, and the two of them hid underneath the beach umbrella, pulling out 2x4 tech SANDBALL guns
Send
All
Nefariously
Devious
Advocates
Lying
Low
"This isn't working!" Abby exclaimed. "There's too many of them! And I can't get a clear shot at any of those kids!"
"Kids and teens!" Hoagie yelled, sounding terrified. "I saw Wally's head pop up a few times, and Kuki's! I don't know the other kids, though!"
"Why would they be shooting at us?"
"Maybe they heard us fighting and got annoyed? I don't know, just fire!"
So they did. But soon, so much sand had flown at them that the area around them, sans the area below the umbrella(where they were) was buried so far in sand that Abby and Hoagie could no longer see anything.
Hoagie sighed and pressed a finger to the hard wall of sand that surrounded them. "I bet they were just playing, but now we're stuck here."
"Abby's digging herself out!" Abby said. "She don't want to spend the rest of her life stuck with a boy lovesick over her sister!"
"Wait- Abby, these walls might be unstable! If you try digging yourself out, part of the wall might cave in and we'll still be burried in sand, but we won't be able to breathe! Understand?"
Abby slumped down on the floor. "We'll run out of oxygen if we're here too long," she told him.
"That shouldn't happen for a while."
Abby clicked a button on her earing. "Calling TND operatives nearby- We are stuck in a sand cave on the beach beside a large fort. I repeat, we are stuck in a sand cave on the beach beside a large fort!"
She clicked the button again, then banged the back of her head against the wall of sand. Hoagie sighed and sat down opposite her.
For a long time, they were comepletely silent. Hoagie even fell asleep, and Abby frowned at him when she heard his snores. "How can you sleep at a time like this?" she asked the nonresponsive Hoagie, who, of course, did not respond. Abby sighed. "Abby don't understand," she muttered. "How could you still like Cree, after all she did to you?"
Shaking her head, she started absent-mindedly tracing pictures in the sandy walls, little things like umbrellas and trees, airplanes and cars, a heart with two people's initials in them. She stared blankly at the initials before realizing suddenly that leaving them there wasn't the best idea, and was about to clear it away until she heard her code name.
"Numbuh 5, are you in there?"
Numbuh 5 looked up fast. "Yeah, Numbuh 5's in here! Numbuh 2's fallen asleep; Numbuh 5'll wake him up."
She crawled over and shook him a little, to which he responded, "Mmm, nice..."
"Hoagie, wake up! We're being rescued!"
"Whyyy," moaned Hoagie.
INTERMISSION! HOAGIE'S DREAM FROM THE BEGINNING!
He was twelve years old again, sitting on the edge of one of the balconies of their old treehouse. Abby sat next to him, looking a little glum. "Abby don't understand," he heard her say. "How could you still like Cree, after all she did to you?"
He looked at her, smiled, and said, "I don't."
Abby looked surprised. "You... Don't? Huh?"
He shook his head. "No, I don't. Sure, I talk to her, but we're just friends. Actually, she keeps telling me to ask you out. See, I managed to get her decomissioned a few weeks ago... You didn't know that?"
"Oh..."
"Abby, the truth is... You're the one I like. It's been like that for a long time, only I knew you liked Maurice, so I didn't-"
He was cut off by her lips, which linked to his instantly. He was quite enjoying himself, until she shook him a little and pulled away.
"Mmm, nice..." Hoagie muttered.
"Hoagie, wake up! We're being rescued!"
He frowned. "Whyyy?" he asked, like "rescued" was something he definetly didn't want to be at that moment.
END
Then he opened his eyes- really opened his eyes- and saw the real Abby staring back at him, a determined look on her face. "Uh," he said, wide awake and blushing madly. "Hey, Abby."
Abby rolled her eyes. "Hey sleepyhead. They found us, so let's go kick their butts, shall we?"
"I heard that!" yelled Numbuh 4.
"Are they really gonna hurt us?" asked a child's voice.
"Nah, probably not, silly," laughed Kuki.
"Oh," the child laughed nervously. "Good. I don't want Former Soopreme Leader Numbuh 5 kicking my butt."
Just then, Numbuh 4 got the hole big enough to get in and out of. "Come on, you two, and don't kill these kids. They're friends."
Abby and Hoagie climbed out of the hole and, grumbling, started helping the younger kids dig for the cooler and chairs.
Kuki, however, pulled out her camera and snapped some pictures. "This'll look great in my scrapbook," she said as she climbed into the hole and snapped a few pictures of the inside.
It was then that she noticed pictures on one side of the hole's wall. There was an umbrella, a tree, an airplane, a car, some random stars, the words "live, laugh, love", a smiley face, and a heart with AL and HG inside it. Chuckling evily to herself, she snapped a few pictures before climbing out of the hole and running to tell Numbuh 4 what she found.
END CHAP
CHAP 3
"I still can't believe it," Numbuh 4 muttered later. "I mean, I can't see Numbuh 5 writing something like that on a wall, for everyone to see. Especially in the same room as him, you know."
They had temporarily escaped Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 5 within the McDonalds playplace and were now crawling through the tunnels, trying to find the slide. All of them had piled into the car hours after the whole sandattack incident to go there before going back home to The Basement. Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 5 were able to have simple conversations, although Wally and Kuki both noticed there was something odd going on.
"You saw the pictures, Wally! It's all in her handwriting. And that cave wasn't even there before they got stuck in it, so who else could it have been?"
He shook his head. "Maybe she forgot about it," he suggested. "She's been forgetting a lot of things lately."
"Yeah," Numbuh 3 agreed. "Like how Numbuh 2 and Cree kissed back when we were, like, 10, and he turned himself into a teenager. She asked me about that in the bathroom," she said, shaking her head. "Aparently that idiot told her Cree kissed him, and she wanted to know if it was true. Well, of course it's true!"
Suddenly, Numbuh 4 seemed worried. "Do you think maybe Numbuh 2 is going out with Cree? Because if that's the case, Kuki, then Abby..."
His voice trailed off worriedly. "Wally, we'll go ask Numbuh 2 about it before we do anything else. Agreed?"
"Yeah," he said. "That's the best idea, I think."
I just don't want her to force something that can never happen, he added to himself as they found the long blue slide and slid down.
Back in McDonalds, Numbuh 2 returned to his seat after using the bathroom with a glum look on his face. "Where're Wally 'n Kuki?" he asked Numbuh 5.
"In the playplace," Numbuh 5 replied. "Numbuh 5 would've joined, but those tubes are too small for her. She always bumps her head. She prefers the jungle gyms."
"Same here," Numbuh 2 said. "I think I need a McFlurry..."
"Go ahead," Numbuh 5 said. "Numbuh 5 aint stoppin' yah."
Suddenly Hoagie jerked up, like he had just noticed something important. "Okay, Numbuh 5," he said with a mischeivous smile, and got up to order. Numbuh 5, realizing her mistake, sighed and put her head in her hands. She was still a little dazed about what she had drawn on the wall of that stupid sandhole, wondering if anyone saw it and if she could somehow sneak down there the next day to wipe it off. Unbeknownst to her, Kuki and Wally, who were thinking of the very same picture, were back inside the resteraunt area and had "kidnapped" Numbuh 2.
They had pulled him into a janitor closet as he walked by, and had covered his eyes so he couldn't see them.
"Mr. Hoagie Pennywhistle Gilligan Jr," began Numbuh 3 in a scary, deep, dark tone, "do you deny the accusation that you are dating Ms. Cree Lincoln?"
"Mmmph?" Hoagie responded, as his mouth was covered as well. Numbuh 4 pulled the tape off, and Numbuh 3 repeated herself.
"... Um, yeah, duh! I'm not dating Cree, I just talk to her sometimes when she gets bored and texts everyone on her contacts. We're not even that close. Who are you guys? How did you find me?"
"Zat, my good sir, ees none of your business," replied Wally in his best French accent.
"Well, at least I know who you aren't," Hoagie muttered. "Wallabee couldn't pull off a French accent. So it can't be Wally or Kuki.
"I am one of Cree's cousins, and this is my husband. However, Hoagie Pennywhistle Gilligan jr, that is not why we are here. We want to know if you are going out with Cree Lincoln," Kuki said.
"Yes, eet ees eemportant," Wally agreed. "We would like to know."
"Well, I already told you. Seriously, what does it matter?"
"Eet matters much! We are friends with ze boy Maurice, and we are trying to set zem up!"
"Yes, and in order to keep you from taking this information to Cree, we would also like to know who you do love. We will not let you go unless you give us a name."
"Who are you crazy people...?"
"Believers een blackmail," said Wally.
Hoagie sighed. "Fine. But I don't know how long it will last, and I only realized it a little while ago... I like Cree's sister, Abby."
Kuki pressed buttons on her cellphone for a few seconds, then said, "the girl exists. You may go."
"... How am I going to do that, unless you untie me?"
"Oh, we are not stupid," said Kuki. "If you see us, you might send the police after us. And they know not to broadcast who saw us," she said pointedly. "So we would not know who we were blackmailing. No, we will send the janitor after you. Good bye, Hoagie Pennywhistle Gilligan Jr," Kuki said evily.
"Oui... Au revoir, monsieur."
Suddenly, Hoagie was alone.
"How could my life get any worse?" he asked out loud. "Total strangers know my biggest secret, but not my best friends."
Outside of the Janitor's closet...
"Did you record that little secret, Kuki?"
"I wouldn't ever have forgotten to, Monsieur," said Kuki with a huge smile. "Nice french accent. Did Abby teach you?"
"Yeah Abby's been helping me with French a lot, and I've been working on it in secret. I just never thought the secret part of it would come in handy."
Kuki laughed. "You got that right! Copying my mother, my goodness! I hope I never have to sound like that again!"
Wally couldn't agree more.
Later, Hoagie was allowed to take over driving home so that Wally could rest, and Kuki sat in the front with him, chattering about the new Rainbow Monkeys Numbuh 429 had told her about. Wally sent her a message.
"Now we kno. So I say we lock them in the closet w/ each other."
"R U kidding?" Kuki texted back. "They'd kill us! Or each other!"
"Ok, wats ur idea then?"
Kuki thought for a moment before replying, "1, we get them 2 make up. If that doesnt make any difference, we just keep ditching them on group activities. And if that doesn't work, THEN we will lock them in the closet w/ each other, naked."
Numbuh 4 laughed out loud at that message, causing Numbuh 5 to turn and give him a funny look, while Numbuh 3 frowned and said, "What are you laughing about Numbuh 4? Is it a joke?"
Numbuh 4 stopped laughing enough to say, "my Dad said something funny the other day, and he brought it back up as an inside joke- had to be there," he chuckled. Numbuh 5 slowly turned back to the window. Numbuh 4 texted Numbuh 3, "U were joking, right?"
"Yeah. 5 is getting suspicious, stop txting," Kuki replied after ten long minutes.
Hours later, the four of them were playing hide n seek at The Basement, and Abby was it. Wally knew where Hoagie was hiding- inside the closet, the one Abby didn't know about. Except, he thought she didn't. However, Wally knew, and he whispered it to her in secret before the game.
"Here's the plan," he said to Kuki beforehand, "follow Abby to where Hoagie is hiding, then lock her in the closet from the outside. After that, track Hoagie to make sure he really is hiding in there- which he should be. Agreed?"
"Wouldn't one of Hoagie's closets have 2x4 tech in it?"
"Not yet. This is just an ordinary closet right now- it's not operational."
"You better be right."
SO Kuki and Wally followed close behind as Abby crept around, looking for them first. When she couldn't find them, she finally headed for the new closet. And as soon as she opened the door, Wally and Kuki pushed her inside, shut it fast, and locked it. And also put many random things in front of it, such as the couch and a few Gigantic Door-block Rainbow Monkeys.
"HEY! What do you think you're doing? LET ME OUT! WHEN NUMBUH 5 GETS HER HANDS ON YOU GUYS, SHE'S GONNA-"
"WHOA, Abby! Calm down there," said Numbuh 2. "I'm sure they just wanted... Alone time or something."
Or they know, he thought. And if they do, this is cruel. At least they liked each other when we pulled schemes on them; Numbuh 5 wants little to do with me.
Numbuh 5's thoughts were close- What the heck? This had better be about THEM and not US or I will tear them to shreds! Why would they think Numbuh 2 liked me, when he likes CREE?"
They probably won't let us out for a while," thought Numbuh 2. Might as well tell the truth of some of the things I said...
"Um... Numbuh 5?"
"What?" she snapped.
"Cree didn't really kiss me," he said embarrasedly. "I mean, she did, but that was back when I was, like, ten, and I made that thing that turned me into a teenager."
"Oh. Yeah," Numbuh 5 said, then muttered something incoherent.
"And she's been decomissioned for some time now," he said nervously.
"So you plan to go after her now that she's not evil."
He glared at her. "Um, no. If I liked her, I would, but I don't, so I won't."
It was her turn to glare. "Quit makin' a joke of things," she said. "And if Cree was decommissioned, how could she have told you about... Uh..."
"Hehe... I, uh, figured that out myself, Abby. It was kind of obvious."
She blushed. "Oh. Why do you talk to her, though, if you don't like her?"
He shrugged. "She's one of those people who texts every contact on her phone when she's bored, and I guess she somehow had my number instead of yours, because she texted me "Abby?".
"So... She thinks you're ABBY?"
"No, I told her I was your friend, and she thought that was cool, and we started talking about you and she kept wondering why you hated her so much. That's about it."
Numbuh 5 silently tried to process this. "So..."
"I don't like Cree," Numbuh 2 said firmly. "And Cree does NOT like me. She-"
He hesitated. Would this be too much information? In his dream, it had all gone well, but in real life...
Too late. She already knew he was about to say something, didn't she?
"She what?" Abby asked curiously.
"She, um... She told me I should ask you out," he admitted, grinning nervously and clutching his arm.
Abby stared, eyes wide. "She told you to what?"
Hoagie cringed. Right, real life was not like dreams. "Uh... Yeah."
She sighed and lay down, covering her face with her hat. "Numbuh 5 is going to sleep," she said. "Wake her up when the idiots open the door."
"Um... At least we won't be without oxygen this time," Hoagie said, but Numbuh 5 ignored him.
Yup. That small bit of info had been too much. She must suspect him now, or she wouldn't be ignoring him by sleeping. Or maybe she wasn't really sleeping, but just thinking. In fact, thinking sounded pretty good... More like debating with his own mind, but you know...
She probably doesn't like me.
It's entirely possible.
She likes Maurice!
Then why does she hang out with you?
I'm her friend, is all.
Wally and Kuki were also just friends, though.
I haven't liked her that long. Only for, what, five days?
And if you wait too long to say something, she'll be gone. But if you tell her now, you can wait for her if she's not ready.
That sounds stalkerish.
It's only stalkerish if you stalk her. If you just stay her friend, though...
That's bull.
It's not and you know it.
Should I tell her?
What do you think?
I want to.
I think she deserves to know.
Yeah, she does...
Tell her.
Fine.
"Um... Numbuh 5? Numbuh 5, wake up."
"What is it, Hoagie?" Abby asked wearily.
"Numbuh 5... Abby... The truth is, Abby, I really like you. You. Not Cree. I like you a lot," he said nervously.
She was staring at him with wide eyes again, speechless.
"And, well, if you don't like me, that's fine, but I'd like to stay friends, if you don't mind."
She was standing now, and walking his way. He jumped up from his position on the floor.
Too close. Her face was much too close. Why was she so close? Lord help him, she was going to kill him from being so-
Immediately his thoughts switched to "Niiicce" as she pulled him to her and kissed him for real, not dream. He couldn't believe this- this kiss was better than rainbow munchies, better than Cree's kiss when he was ten, a thousand times better than building things, and maybe a tiny bit better than actual flight. Because right then, he felt like he was soaring.
When they pulled away, he slid to the ground, and she followed, and the two of them ended up falling asleep holding hands, which was how Wally and Kuki found them an hour later.