Hello again! I've put this in as a chapter to tell her time with the dwarfs over the years. Sorry, I know, the story really hasn't started yet but I feel like this is important to the story. But do not worry! We are getting there!
I own most of the characters except Thorin, Kili, Fili and any one else created by J.R.R Tolkien's genius.
Again, if you see any mistakes, sorry.
WARNINGS: Nudity and Bad language
"Fuck!" Jackie's head smashed against the cold stone floor of the training grounds. Stepping over her, her atar (father) offered a hand to pull her up. Taking it and standing in front of him she stood nose to nose with him.
"Tir'een and you're already the same 'eight as me!" He said chuckling. The Dwarf King had been her atar (father) for as long as she could remember and her birth parents, they were just a figment of her past.
"It's not funny until I'm able to beat you atar (father)." Taking a swig of his water pouch she turned back to her atar (father). "Again."
"I don't thee why yoo 'ave 'o go." Thrain cried angrily through a mouthful of chicken leg. Swallowing, he continued. "You've lived your whole life under the mountain! That doesn't have to change now!"
Sighing Jackie put down her fork. "Atar (father), you are correct, I have lived my whole life until now under the mountain. But I am an Elf, I may have been raised as a dwarf but I. Am. A. Elf. And elves do not live under mountains, besides, when you found me at the edge of Mirkwood you were young, you reign as king just beginning! Now look at you, your hair has grown grey, your face has wrinkles and I am not scared to say so, your belly has grown tremendously. They must continuously make new armour to fit you!" A glaring contest started, but the king backed down and let his daughter finnish her point.
"Meanwhile I look exactly the same as I did when I first turned twenty, that was fifty-two years ago! I am immortal atar (father). I wish to see the trees, to live in Mirkwood. Don't get me wrong, I love it here with you and my brother." She nodded at a Dwarf sitting just down the table, bright red hair like his father once had and a small beard growing from his chin. "But, I just want to go and live there." She finished lammily.
"You can."
"WHAT!" Jackie sprang from her seat. "I didn't actually think you would say yes, so I had all these plans for running away in the night!." Running to his end of the table she hugged him tight, food grease and all. "Thank you atar (father), thank you."
Time skips around 2000 years forward because I'm feeling lazy and you probably don't want to read about random dwarf kings so we are now in the time that Thorin's good old gramps is ruling, before all that arkenstone/smaug shit. Jackie had come back frequently throughout the many years so the current King always knew who she was, 'Princess Under the Mountain' they called her.
Walking through the grand entry gates of the Lonely Mountain, well aware of the hostile eyes of the guards, Jackie walked straight to the Throne room where Thrór sat. She never knew Thrór, she knew his parents when they were expecting but that was at least sixty, maybe seventy years ago, it was very hard to get brakes in the Mirkwood guard.
"I don't know ye," the King spoke, deep and gravely, as was the way of dwarves, "but never has an Elf walked so … purposely in our realm so I needn't ask ye ta know the Princess Under the Mountain has returned!"
Rising to greet her in an embrace that she returned, undaunted by the fact that he came up to her belly-button. "You guessed correctly, now before you tell me your name I will guess, I knew your parents while they were expecting a child and the names they had for a boy are few." Pausing to look at him as if expecting him and then putting on a mock expression of contemplation she said, "you look like a Anurág Dícsit"
"What does that mean Elf?" A young Dwarf at the side of the throne asked. She could only assume he was a relation of the King due to his finery and just the way he holds himself.
Smirking she replied. "Anurag Dikshit."
The King burst out laughing, holding his stomach and grabbing her arm for support. "Nay elf, it is Thrór, King Under the Mountain, this is my grandson Thorin." He said waving his arm at the dwarf who spoke before. "I'm 'fraid me son could not be here, even if he knew of yer arrival, he's training the young'uns today."
Walking forward Thorin stood in front of Jackie. He was clearly about to test her, they always did she thought, it is their nature. If she passed they would become sound friends, if not he would hate her with a passion. "How dare you speak so freely to our king! But he would not have harmed you even if you did not have your favor, how did you know this?"
She knew that with dwarves you must be blunt, so staring him straight in the eyes she said cooly, "I grew up here Tel'athim (Elvish: arrogant prick), I know your ways. I know your humor."
Breaking into a smile Thorin was quick to realise an insult. "In that case welcome home caragu rukhs (Dwarish: Orc Dung)"
"We are going to get on great Thorin, I can tell." She said smirking, the king just sighed.
"Oh great, not o'nother one."
"Two Elves." She said lying two random cards down, they were definitely not two elves. Thorin, herself, Dwalin, Balin, Oin, Gloin, Dori, Nori, Ori, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur were all playing cards, more specifically, Fox Hunter, an old dwarf game renamed many times over the centuries.
The rules were simple, you lay cards face down on the table when it comes to your turn, then you tell the others what they are, but you can lie. If one of the other players calls you on a bluff you must flip the cards over. If they were wrong, they are out and must take a punishment from you, which can range from chores to dares. If they are right and you did bluff you are out and must take a punishment from the person who called them. The game ends when everyone is out or someone runs out of cards (that person wins). If no one calls anything you continue to the next person.
"I call Bullshit!" Cried by an overly drunk Bofur, he had cried bluff every time, effectively getting himself out very quickly but sometimes it paid off. Like now. "Ha, knew it! Yer out lassie! And yer punishment 'ill be… Helpin' da twins with der showers!"
As if on cue two four year old dwarves sprinted into the room and vaulted into Jackie's arms. Looking down at the faces of Fili and Kili, the dreaded twins, as they were called, she couldn't miss the evil glint in their eyes.
Looking at Bofur she was quick to speak, "Amin delotha lle, ye Nadorhuan, auta miqula orqu. (Elvish: I hate you, you cowardly dogs, go kiss an orc.)" Then turning heel she marched straight up to the royal bathing rooms.
Stripping the two young dwarves down she then turned her back to them to turn on the water of a large bathtub with a stone shower head above. "You know I have heard tell of you being monstrous about baths but really you're not so bad~" She was cut off by being shoved straight first into the water, completely drenching her. "Oh you Mother Fuckers."
Running down the hallway she knew she must have been a sight to see, a wet, pissed off, angry, elf barreling down halls. Turning left she now stood in the open door way of the 'card room'. "Where are the little shit-bags."
"Ye must really be angry if ye ain't cussin' in Elvish." Thorin said, a smirk wide and plain on his face. "Now tell me, do ye like red or green more?"
"Green but I don't see how that's relev~" For the second time that night she was cut off. Green slime like stuff oozed down her body, she could tell that it was from being poured from above. "Thorin you asshole."
"Sorry Jackie couldn't help it."
Turning her face up and raising her hands to block any incoming slime stuff she didn't even have the patience to speak nicely to the two young dwarves above her. "Happy now? You have my FULL attention! You duck-kneed stealing clump O' composts!" She screamed.
Grabbing her bow and arrows from the wall where she had propped them earlier, she vaulted up to the ledge Fili and Kili were perched. The two dwarves, quick to realise they better boot it, ran nimbly to the edge, then turning to the wall on their rights knocked it three times. A small doorway appeared out of nowhere. Crawling into it before the maddened elf could grab them. The doorway appeared once more on an identical ledge on the opposite side of the room.
"Sorry Bombur!" She cried to the fat dwarf as she backed up to take a running leap, "your sacrifice is much appreciated!" Then jumping off the ledge she landed square in the middle on Bombur's very large stomach, then using his fat as a trampoline sprung up with extra momentum onto the ledge the twins just vacated.
Laughter echoed down a chute right in front of her, so cursing every dwarf she ever knew in turn, she slid down the chute herself.
Landing in a crouch at the bottom of the chute, which led to the kitchens, she asked one of the frightened maids. "Have you seen any young, naked dwarf twins by the names Fili and Kili?"
Hand shaking she nodded yes and then pointed right behind Jackie herself at the store cupboard.
A searing pain ran up her arm. She looked down and saw Fili's jaw latched firmly there. "Bite ME will you? Chew on THIS you rabid nose picking bile bag!" Flinging him across the room and shoving an old tomato into his mouth.
She wondered what she must look like to the maid. Drenched, covered in green ooze, screaming and cussing at the king's great-grandchildren.
"Where's your brother?" Of course he had no need to answer because the little minx in question jumped onto her back, idiot. Twisting him over like a rag doll she dropped him right next to his brother.
Grabbing one of the many net bags overhead she stuffed the two children into it, tying it tightly shut before stomping out of the room leaving a very confused maid behind. When she once again reached the entryway to the 'card room' she paused glaring at the laughing dwarves inside. "You can beg for my forgiveness after I kill your sorry asses you pee soaked dung digging slimey bastitches." And then continued marching up to the bath rooms.
Dropping the two struggling dwarves into the boiling hot water she scrubbed down both their hair and let them do their own body wash. While they were doing that she scrubbed herself down, not striping fully in the presence of the young dwarves but down to her undergarments. When she was done she grabbed two towels wrapping one around herself and the other around both boys when they were done, trapping their arms she picked the bundle of towel and dwarf child up and walked them to their room, helped them get ready and into bed,
Pulling a chair up between their to beds she said, "you two put me on quite a chase. Be proud, not many people can avoid an elf for as long as you did."
They both grinned sheepishly. "Yeah sorry 'bout that" Kili said
"And sorry for bitin' you." Fili added
"It's fine winimorim (Elvish: little ones)." she said softly.
Standing up she was halted by a little hand grabbing hers. Fili's outstretched hand not letting her go. "Can ye sing to us? Mother used to sing to us before she passed."
"Of course I can sing to you winimorim (Elvish: Little ones). Just let me think …. Hlasta!
Quetis Ilfirimain:
Corma turien te
Corma tuvien
Corma tultien te
Huines se nutien.
Tercáno Nuruva.
Tuvien Corma tultien te
Huinesse nutien
Corma turien te Corma.
Lah-stah!
Kweh-tees Eel-fear-ee-mine
Kore-mah too-ree-enn tay
Kore-mah too-vee-enn
Kore-mah tool-tee-enn
Hoo-ee-nays say noo-tee-enn
Tare-KAH-noh noo-ROO-vah
Too-vee-enn Kore-mah tool-tee-enn tay
Hoo-een-ess-ay noo-tee-enn
Kore-mah too-ree-enn tay Kore-mah.
(Listen!
It speaks to those who were not born to die:
[One] Ring to rule them [all]
[One] Ring to find [them]
[One] Ring to bring them [all]
[And] in the Darkness bind them
[The] Herald of Death
To find [One] Ring, to bring them [all]
[And] in the Darkness bind them
[One] Ring to rule them [all], [One] Ring)"
Pausing to see if they were both asleep she then kissed both their foreheads and left the room
"Goodbye Thorin." She said softly fighting back the tears that brimmed in her eyes. She had tried to sneak away in the morning unnoticed except by guards. No such luck.
"Must you leave now lassie?" He asked sadly.
"The two weeks are up otorno (Elvish: brother). Say goodbye to the twins for me."
"Will you at least tell me what otorno means? You have been calling me that all week."
"It means… brother." She said looking down.
"I will miss you sister." He said and gave her a big hug.
"I will miss you brother."
So what do you think? Sorry, that was much longer than I thought it would be. I had to cut some stuff out but all in all I think I did ok. The story is finally gonna get going! Don't be a silent reader and review! It would mean a lot!
This is un-edited so if you see any mistakes, I am so sorry. (I am probably gonna say something like that every chapter)