'You're playing a dangerous game Harry. I hope you know the rules'.
'What rules are they, James?'
'You're not irreplaceable'
He knew that wasn't true as soon as he'd said it. So did she. Staring at him, she felt suddenly drained and defeated. She was tired of it. Tired of the constant flirtations between them leading nowhere. Tired of the constant will-they, won't-they whispers she was always aware of in the office. Tired of the insecurity she felt when she saw him flirting casually with other women. Tired of seeing no end to the status quo as neither of them were brave enough to say how they felt out loud.
Tiredness gave way to an almost irrational anger. What the hell was wrong with him, why hadn't he understood what she was trying to say to him as she explained the Crazy Joe near miss to him the other day. Why hadn't he listened when Simone suggested they had a future together. She knew he felt protective towards her, she knew he found her physically attractive but could he ever be more than a one dimensional, emotionally deficient cop. Would she never get under the surface, would he ever let her in.
Rising up, she stood in front of him, summoned up some courage and looked him in the eye. 'You're wrong Dempsey. I am irreplaceable. You'll never have a better partner either in or out of work and you know it. You'll never find anyone who feels as much for you as I do. I'm over waiting for you to notice it and for us to face it. What we feel for each other is more than just professional, we spend too much time together to pretend otherwise. We get on too well and we have no interest in anyone else. I can't keep pretending that this is less than it is. I'm drawing a line for my own sanity. You need to leave and not come back, we're done.'
Dempsey's head was spinning. Pandora's Box was open, what the hell was he supposed to do now, this was terrifying. He looked into her cool blue eyes and responded the only way he knew how - defensively.
'What the hell are you talking about and why the hell are you putting this all on me?! You're a closed book, I've got no idea how you feel about anything and what difference would it make anyway? You don't need me, you're not going to chose someone like me, I'm a pain in the ass and you know it. I don't know what you want from me here Harry, I don't want a new partner but you left me no choice. You're the one who left, you're the one who resigned. If you can walk away so easily what does that tell me?'
'Easily?! You think it was easy to give up a job I love, a career, our partnership, my whole life?' Some things are bigger than the job though Dempsey, you just don't get it. You obviously don't feel the same so would you please leave.'
Not knowing what else to do and needing some time to regroup Dempsey took a couple of steps backwards then turned towards the front door and walked out.
Harry's shoulders slumped as the door shut. She'd lost him. She had tried to meet him half way and open the conversation but he'd shut her down and passed the buck on their future. Tears sprung to her eyes as the frustration and disappointment started to envelop her. What now?
Dempsey shut the door behind him and his legs started to give way after the shock of the confrontation. He dropped to the ground and sat on the doorstep while trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Harry's words were swimming around in his head ... 'you'll never find anyone who feels as much for you as I do ... you don't feel the same ...' My god, is she really trying to tell him she has feelings for him? This is Harry, he must be reading it wrong, but ... what if...?
For ages now he'd buried the possibility that anything could happen between them. She had rarely given any hints that they were anything other than friends although, now he thought about it, flashes of their past sprung to mind. Her disbelief and indignation when he talked of having an affair with Mara, the physical closeness she often initiated while playing Lou to his Dwayne. Even ages ago when she'd been hammered on tequila and had snuggled up to him. Should he have been listening to her actions rather than her words? Had the signs been there all along?
His feelings went without saying - or so he thought. She was everything to him, literally his life-saver. He could rely on her 100% at work, she was right, their partnership was untouchable and he couldn't imagine working with anyone else. She was also an emotional support when he needed her. Granted that wasn't often, but she's his go-to person when something is troubling him. They laugh together, they spend easy evenings together over a bottle of wine or at the cinema. Why had it never gone any further? Probably because neither of them wanted to risk losing what they had. It was precious. Sacred. To risk losing it was too much. Yet now Harry had broken rank and given him a hint of her true thoughts. He'd spent so long repressing his feelings for her he barely knew what they were anymore but he knew that he couldn't imagine spending a similar amount of time with any other woman either socially or professionally. He knew he looked forward to seeing her every day and that he was jealous if any other male paid her attention or when she alluded to previous boyfriends. He knew he wanted her more than any other woman he'd ever known and that he oh-so-casually touched her whenever the opportunity arose. Without question she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Suddenly he knew for sure, it hit him like a hammer blow. He was head over heels in love with her and incredibly there was a possibility that she felt the same.
Stunned by the weight of this revelation Dempsey staggered to his feet and turned to the door. Just as he raised his hand to knock, it opened and Harry stood there in a coat with her car keys in her hand. Clearly not expecting to see Dempsey still on her doorstep she stepped back as if to shut the door again. He stuck his foot in the gap to make sure she couldn't, he reached for her hand but she pulled back from him. He pushed himself through the door and shut it decisively behind him.
This was his opportunity, he had to get it right. She'd already put herself on the line for him and let her feelings be known, she was so brave, such a warrior. He had to do the same for her or the chance would be lost forever.
'You're right Harry. You were right about everything I just didn't realise. You were right, I'm so sorry.' She looked warily at him, unsure where this was going, unwilling to risk any more hurt. He could see her shrinking back from him, time was running out. 'Harry I'm crazy about you, you know I am. You're everything to me. I need you, I want you, I'm totally in. I had no idea you felt the same but please Harry, can we talk about this?' Her eyes searched his face for insincerity but there was none, only a sort of despair and desperation. Suddenly he seemed completely exposed, she'd never heard him speak this way and the momentum of what was happening suddenly felt overwhelming. Tears refilled her eyes and her breath caught in her throat as she started to crumple. His arms were around her in an instant as he held her close in a bid to stop the tears and give her the comfort she needed. 'Harry don't, I can't believe it's taken this to make me realise how important you are. You're everything, you're my girl. I love you Harry'. The words were spoken before he could even think about what he'd said, he spoke from the heart, the truth was out - no going back, no regrets.
Pushing back to look at him she saw that he too was shaken by the weight of their feelings. She didn't doubt him for a minute. She'd known it before he did. Relief surged through her as she realised that he'd finally caught up. Through her tears, she whispered 'I love you too Dempsey, so much'. He dipped his head to hers and when their lips finally met it was like coming home. The passion ignited between them and all the repressed feelings of the past few years were let loose. Nothing else mattered, this was their moment. Hands roamed over bodies, kisses deepened, arousal coursed through them, words of love tumbled from their lips as they clung to each other. Things would never be the same, but that was fine. They'd just got a whole lot better.
