Hello gang, anyone still here?

I am so sorry for taking so long to post this, it truly wasn't my intention. For those that don't follow me on Twitter, here's the reason.

When the UK government brought in mandatory mask-wearing in shops at the end of July, we stopped limiting the number of people we have in at one time. Before then, we'd only been allowing two in at a time and marshalling the door to stop more coming in. When we stopped that, we got busier and as a result, I felt that I shouldn't be forcing myself to write if I wasn't in the mood for it. So, I put this on hold until a couple of weeks ago but have struggled since to regain my mojo. Somehow, it's reappeared this weekend, hence why you're finally getting a chapter.

Also, before I shut up and let you read, I apologise for the use of one particular profanity in this chapter, 'twas unavoidable.

Enjoy!

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Chapter Eighteen: Into The Fire

Eddie scoffed, "oh no, not falling for that," he yelled from the hallway.

Only when he poked his head back around the door did he realise it wasn't another of Melissa's lies. She glanced around, "it may have been sixteen years, but I remember what labour feels like."

A strange sense of déjà vu swept over Eddie. Last week, he'd called an ambulance for Rachel and their baby, now he was on the verge of calling one for Melissa and hers. He ignored the fact that this baby might also be his. That was not a thought he wished to contemplate so soon after Rachel's miscarriage. However, that being said, Eddie didn't want to leave Melissa alone until he was sure she was in safe hands. For that reason alone, his voice softened, "I'll call an ambulance. Anything you need?"

Melissa gave a weak nod, "water."

Eddie nodded. Upon reaching the kitchen, he retrieved his phone to make the call. Soon after, he returned, handing over a glass. She took a sip before placing it on the mantlepiece. "This isn't happening," Melissa muttered, "it's too early, she's too early."

Eddie's interest piqued at his former fiancée's last words, "she?"

Melissa waved away her words, "just a gut feeling. Mother's instinct, whatever," she said. There was silence, punctuated only by heavy breathing and gasps of pain. "Eddie, I'm petrified."

He saw the terror on Melissa's face, and his demeanour softened. No matter how much he hated her for bringing about Rachel's miscarriage, Eddie couldn't leave her, not in this state. "Melissa, I'm not going anywhere."

At Eddie's assurance, a smile graced her face, "thank you."

Eddie's stomach gave an unpleasant lurch upon pulling up in the driveway. Silence enveloped him upon turning the key and switching off the ignition. Yet Eddie did not seek to move. He appreciated the calm, needed the space to get his head together. The range of emotions Eddie had been through since saying goodbye to Rachel several hours ago wore him down. One thing was for sure, Eddie had to tell her before Melissa did with a lot less sensitivity. He reckoned the fact the siblings weren't speaking wouldn't stop Melissa dropping the bomb that would tear Rachel apart. It shouldn't surprise him because she had all the sensitivity of a blunt axe.

With a defeated sigh, Eddie got out of the car and stood on the front step. He took time in retrieving his keys, hoping to prolong the inevitable. Eventually, Eddie pulled himself together and opened the door, calling out for Rachel upon stepping over the threshold. Her voice floated out from the living room, and he inhaled a breath. Once again, he took his time in taking his shoes off and putting them away, thus buying more time to work out how he'd say what he needed to. The miscarriage was a sore point, and there'd be no perfect time to break the news that her sister had had her baby.

"Hey," Eddie greeted her upon entering the living room, dropping a kiss onto her forehead in passing.

"Hey," Rachel repeated, smiling at the gesture, "where have you been?"

The smile vanished as Eddie sunk into the armchair. "Sorry, got held up," he replied before rubbing nervously at his neck.

Something was wrong, Rachel sensed that much. She sat up, staring at Eddie like she would one of their uncooperative students. "Eddie," she said, her tone soft and patient, "what's happened?"

He chanced a glance, watching as Rachel's face contorted with concern. Eddie grappled with his conscience, wondering whether to tell her everything the doctors told him. "Melissa's had the baby," Eddie settled on, "a girl."

Upon hearing the words, Rachel crumpled, crushing Eddie's heart. Her reaction made it easier to clamp down on his desire to tell her everything. She didn't need to hear it. A stunned silence followed, which Rachel broke upon finding her voice, "she can't have, it's too early, she's not due for another… however many weeks."

Rachel shoved down the sense of guilt engulfing her. She'd never asked Melissa how far along she was in the pregnancy. Seemed irrelevant, as she'd already birthed the child.

"I was there, Rach. I couldn't leave."

Under normal circumstances, Rachel would have asked questions. But the enormity of Eddie's bombshell drove all lines of questioning from her mind. "Is she OK?"

Again, an opening presented itself, but it was one Eddie didn't take, "Melissa or Charlotte?"

"Charlotte?"

He nodded, "Melissa's choice," he responded, "but, to answer your earlier question, yes, they're both fine."

Rachel's gaze rested upon him as she quirked an eyebrow. For the first time in a while, Eddie's demeanour unsettled her. He wasn't brimming with all the happiness she expected and wondered why. Was it because he knew like she did what this development meant for their relationship? Rachel's gaze veered away, "everything will change now, won't it?"

In an instant, Eddie was on his feet and in front of her. Crouching to cup her cheeks, before replying, "it doesn't have to, Rach."

Incredulity clouded her features, "how can you say that, Eddie? You have a child with my sister. I never pegged you as a man who'd shun his parental responsibilities. Melissa needs you…"

Eddie shook his head, cutting her off, "I don't need her, or even want her," he replied, "I need you, and want you."

Rachel shrugged, "you wanted her once."

"No… I just wanted… someone. She was there."

Eddie's statement contained a degree of subtext. Rachel seethed, rising from her perch before putting some distance between them. "Don't imply this mess is my fault."

Eddie raised his hands in a gesture of surrender upon rising to his feet. "I'm not apportioning blame, Rach," he responded, "not entirely."

"Seems that way."

"All I'm suggesting is we share the blame. Melissa shouldn't have gotten involved with me if she had an inkling there was something between us. I shouldn't have moved on so soon after you rejected me. And perhaps you should've made it clear when you rejected me it wasn't a no, just a not yet."

Rachel fell silent, finding herself unable to argue Eddie's points, for she agreed. However, she couldn't wrap her head around the idea that he was prepared to sacrifice being a Dad again for her. She couldn't let him, "I can't ask you to give up your child for me," she insisted upon turning to face him.

Eddie strode across the living room, decimating the gap. Once again, his hands cradled her cheeks. "You're not asking, I'm telling. I'll pay maintenance and whatever else, but I won't have anything to do with Charlotte's upbringing."

Tears appeared in Rachel's eyes as he spoke. How she wished he was telling the truth. He was kidding himself, and she knew it. Rachel stepped back, placing a delicate hand upon Eddie's cheek, half-returning the previous gesture. "You haven't got it in you to play the role of an absentee father. Having missed out on so much of Michael's life, it would finish you. What's the popular saying? If you love someone, let them go. That's what I intend to do."

It was as if losing Eddie was far more bearable than the alternative. Far better than admitting that perhaps this had been Melissa's plan all along, to leave Rachel with nothing. It took a few seconds for Eddie to register Rachel's meaning. His face crumpled as the words sunk in. "Rach, no! Don't do this."

"Find me an alternative then, Eddie. This is killing me, but the longer we carry on, the more complicated the situation gets. I can't be your partner, Melissa's sister, Phillip's aunt and Charlotte's aunt and step-Mum rolled into one, it's too fucked up."

"So instead, you're throwing our entire relationship into the fire, nice to know you care."

The tears Rachel had tried to suppress fell; Eddie's words stung. Then she cursed herself for portraying her vulnerability. No sooner had she done that, she remembered he'd seen her in far worse states. Eddie had seen her at her worst and still stayed. It broke Rachel's heart to realise how little Eddie thought she cared. Oh, she cared. Why else would this hurt so much? "You can accuse me of everything under the sun, Eddie, but never that. I love you, never forget that."

"Then why take the easy option?"

"Nothing about this situation is easy. What if I stayed and couldn't… couldn't give you a baby?"

"I'd still have you."

"Sure, but I'd never forgive myself for standing in the way of your last chance to be the father you weren't to Michael. The father you never had a chance to be to Stephen, too."

Eddie stood stock still; he couldn't argue because Rachel was right and, at that moment, a realisation hit him; no-one would ever know him like Rachel Mason did.

"We've said all we need to, Eddie," Rachel said, breaking the silence. "Please… pack your things and go be with Melissa and Charlotte."

It was both abrupt and harsh, but Rachel had said all she needed to. Eddie realised then that there'd be no talking her around. He knew that Rachel was not one for changing her mind, only in exceptional circumstances did she do so. He nodded before retreating from the living room.

Rachel listened as he climbed the stairs. Only once Eddie's footsteps receded did she release a strangled sob.

What had she done?

Eddie made a conscious effort to only pack for the short-term. The irrational part of him hoped that once the dust had settled and things were calmer, she might be more amenable to giving their relationship another go. However, the rational side remained realistic. Rachel's selfless nature would always prevent her putting herself first. It was a trait that Eddie loved and hated in equal measure.

Rachel stood in the hallway, watching as Eddie descended. "Before I go, can I give you something?"

She pushed herself off the adjacent wall, "what is it?"

Eddie handed over an envelope, deliberately allowing his hand to brush over her skin for perhaps the last time, "open it."

She did as instructed, taking out a single picture. A lump rose in her throat as she remembered the moment. "Where did you get this?"

"Dmitri."

Comprehension dawned upon Rachel's face; Dmitri had been their host in Santorini. He took the couple across to Oia one night. Showed them the best place to watch the iconic sunset, then stepped back, leaving the couple to enjoy the moment. As the sun set on the island, they'd shared a kiss, Dmitri captured that moment.

Happier times, a world away from their current state. "Eddie, you keep it. It'll make my heart hurt all the more."

Rachel didn't wish to sound ungrateful, but she felt as if having the reminders would make it hurt more. Eddie shook his head, "maybe you will someday."

He leant in one last time, his heart breaking even further as Rachel turned away, his lips grazing her cheek instead of the lips as he'd intended.

Rachel knew she couldn't allow him one last 'proper' kiss. It was why she turned away. She knew that if they were to kiss even once more, her resolve would disintegrate, and she wouldn't let him leave.

Eddie pulled back, shouldering his holdall before heading for the door without a backward glance. He couldn't look back; otherwise, he'd never go.

Rachel returned to the living room once Eddie had left, fighting to diminish an avalanche of emotions. The opening and closing of the front door forced her hand. In case it was Eddie returning because he'd forgotten something. "Rach!" Phillip called.

"In here," Rachel called back, hoping she'd done enough to disguise the tremble in her voice.

Phillip hovered, "I just saw Eddie. He told me you'd dumped him."

Rachel winced at Eddie's turn of phrase. Not the way she'd have phrased it. "I have ended our relationship, yes. Certain things have happened, which would make it impossible for us to carry on."

Phillip entered the room, sitting down next to his aunt, "what's happened? Is it to do with Mum?"

Rachel nodded, "she's had the baby, a girl called Charlotte. As she claims Eddie is the father, I didn't want him to lose out on seeing his daughter grow up. I let him go so my niece, your half-sister, had a father."

The turn of events took Phillip by surprise. Not one of them questioned how far gone Melissa was. In fact, Phillip hadn't even seen his mother, Eddie had rung the lad from the hospital, informing him of both Rachel's condition and Melissa's return. "We were happy, the three of us, why must she spoil that? Why didn't you fight for Eddie?"

Rachel's lip twitched as Phillip demonstrated his lack of experience with the fallout of a relationship. "I ended it," she reminded him. "Besides, I don't think there's any fight left in me."

Rachel's confession broke Phillip's heart, causing a surge of anger to overwhelm him. He hated Melissa for unsettling the dynamic they'd created. They dealt with things together, the three of them. Did that not matter now? "I hate her," Phillip blurted out, "she's ruined everything."

Rachel's heart ached for Phillip at that moment, "don't say that," she implored.

"Why not? It's what she deserves."

Rachel had no answer; she was in a similar quandary. She hated her for bringing about the miscarriage, but still loved her. In short, she hated what she'd done, not necessarily Melissa herself. "I suppose you'll be wanting to move back now," Rachel said, changing the subject.

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, with your Mum being back, I thought she'd want both of you back."

Phillip shook his head, "I don't want to live with her anymore. Can I stay with you?"

Phillip's words brought about the first genuine smile from Rachel in a while. Perhaps Melissa would not take everything from her, after all.

Kill me now if you like but bear in mind that if you do, I can't fix it :p

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