Hello to anyone still reading!
Once again, sorry for taking so long to get this out. Usual excuses apply. Plus, had a COVID scare a couple of weeks ago but thankfully, the test came back negative.
I now have three whole chapters in the can for you guys so hopefully, I won't be leaving it nearly a month before updating again.
Enjoy, and please keep the reviews coming.
x
Chapter Nineteen: Facing The Music
An enormous sense of dread overcame Rachel as she silenced her alarm clock. With the summer break now at an end, a new school year dawned, and she didn't want to think about the challenges it would bring.
Of all the emotions jostling for precedence in her muddled mind, dread won out. For the first time since her teenage years, Rachel dreaded setting foot in school, dreaded seeing Eddie that morning. She hadn't seen him since their breakup, so didn't know how he was coping in the aftermath. With baby Charlotte presumably taking up a lot of Eddie's time, Rachel reckoned he'd be coping fine. Little did she know…
Another emotion bubbling beneath the surface was anger. Eddie organised results day for Years Eleven and Thirteen, then deigned to appear. Rachel assumed he'd skipped it to avoid facing her; that made her sense of anger worse. She never imagined he'd become someone who couldn't separate his personal and professional lives. Rachel envisioned a long term ahead if she and Eddie couldn't sort their differences. To her, it wouldn't take long for one of them to throw in the towel. One of them would offer a letter of resignation when the pressure of maintaining the facade became too much.
Throughout the summer break, Rachel had done her level best to support Philip and shield him from her personal pain. She refused to let her nephew see how badly she was dealing with the breakup. Between that and the miscarriage, Rachel wasn't dealing with either situation effectively. She hadn't even visited baby Charlotte in the weeks since her birth. Philip had done so, Rachel dropped him off en route to results day for the AS and A-Level students and picked him up when she had finished. Rachel deemed this the best way to handle things; she had the desired distraction, and Philip got to see his baby sister. Afterwards, she didn't ask about the visit, and he didn't tell. Both had their reasons. Rachel stayed silent because she didn't wish to hear about the happy family unit she presumed Eddie and Melissa formed in the wake of Charlotte's arrival. Philip kept quiet because he knew Rachel would blame herself for things not being how she expected them to be.
As Philip entered the kitchen, he spotted Rachel at the breakfast bar, making annotations to a sheaf of papers in front of her. He presumed these to be the minutes for both the senior management meeting and staff briefing she'd head up before the first bell. The senior management meeting would be Rachel's first encounter with Eddie since the breakup. Philip knew without even asking that she'd be glad their first encounter wasn't in assembly, surrounded by kids. Hopefully, it would allow them the chance to solve their differences before kicking off the new school year. "Morning," Philip said, making Rachel aware of his presence.
A bright smile creased Rachel's face at her nephew's greeting as she glanced up from her papers, no longer finding them as interesting. "Morning!" she parroted back, "looking forward to being back?"
Rachel's line of questioning didn't surprise Philip; the school was her salvation. Her means of distraction from everything else going on. He shrugged, "other than being unsure about the jump from GCSEs to AS-Levels, fine."
Rachel's smile turned sympathetic; it was a concern she'd heard many times before. "I know it's perhaps easier said than done," Rachel started, "but try not to worry about it. From where I'm sitting, I see no reason for you to worry. You got the grades needed at GCSE so, as long as you keep on top of the work, use your free periods wisely, I doubt you'll have any problems."
When taken into account Rachel's two personas, Head Teacher and Auntie, Philip wasn't sure which one spoke loudest. He took her advice on the chin and changed the subject, "how are you feeling about today?"
"How do you mean?"
"About seeing Eddie."
As soon as the words left Philip's mouth, the smile died on Rachel's face. The look she gave him was no longer almost maternal. It seemed saddened, perhaps even haunted. "Please don't worry about me." She implored, "I've stared down the barrel of guns and tried to pull someone out of a burning building. I think I'm more than capable of facing my ex."
Philip remained unconvinced. He didn't dare mention that he'd promised to look after her and already felt like he was doing a rubbish job. Rachel, however, wasn't helping matters by fobbing him off at every turn, pretending to be OK when the evidence suggested otherwise. "I just worry about you, Rach."
Upon hearing the shortened moniker, an imperceptible chill engulfed her. She couldn't recall when Philip had begun calling her Rach as opposed to Rachel. Perhaps it was something he'd picked up from Eddie. There he was again, another undesired reminder of the past. However, she knew she'd cause offence by telling him to stop, so she had to ride it out. "Philip, you're sixteen." She stated, "these next two years will set you up for life. I'm not adding my problems to your list of burdens."
"What if I want your problems to become mine too?"
Those words were too familiar to Rachel. She remembered Eddie saying something similar before they even got together. Philip had no idea of the memories his words stirred up for Rachel. "I'm not burdening you with my problems," Rachel replied. Philip noticed a tone of finality in her voice. He recognised this to be her way of bringing the conversation to a swift conclusion. "Did you want a lift into school, or are you walking?" she questioned upon rising from her perch.
Philip shook his head as Rachel finished her morning coffee, "I'll be fine walking, but thanks."
She nodded, acknowledging his response, "if I don't see you before the first bell, have a good day."
Again, Philip nodded, "and you."
Rachel hoped for the same or even one without the typical chaos. However, this was Waterloo Road, disaster lurked around every corner.
An unmitigated disaster was how Rachel described the first senior management meeting of the academic year. It led her to write off the entire first day as a bust before the bell rang. She hoped they could be civil following the breakup, apparently not. To Rachel, it seemed like they'd regressed into a previous version of themselves. Like the last year and however long hadn't happened.
For the meeting's duration, Eddie only glanced her way when he had something negative to say. This resulted in him directing positive feedback to Kim, excluding Rachel from the dialogue. The Head of Pastoral didn't understand why relations between the pair had taken a dive. No matter, she made a mental note to find out before the staff briefing. With that knowledge, Kim hoped to use it to calm tensions. She didn't want the atmosphere between the Head and Deputy to set the tone for the academic year.
Once the meeting had wrapped, Kim took Rachel to one side, "tell me what's going on."
"Can't this wait?" Eddie interrupted, "we're meant to be briefing the staff."
Rachel glanced between the two before deciding, "no, it can't. Wait outside, Eddie, we'll be with you in two minutes."
His attitude towards Rachel's request bore all the hallmarks of the teenagers he taught day in, day out, but eventually, he complied.
Neither woman spoke until Rachel closed the office door and slid across the privacy glass. "No more stalling Rachel, tell me what's going on. That meeting was excruciating to partake in. Please do not make me play mediator again.
Rachel released a breath before settling herself on the corner sofa, Kim followed her lead. "God, Kim, it's a long story," she replied.
"I'll settle for a condensed version."
"Eddie and I separated during the summer break."
Of all the scenarios Kim had imagined during the meeting, that wasn't among them. "No way," she breathed, "what about your baby?"
Rachel blinked furiously as she attempted to keep the tears at bay, "I miscarried last month, we split up a week later. He didn't want the split, hence the attitude. I had hoped that the intervening weeks would burn out any resentment he had towards what I did, guess not."
"Oh, jeez, I'm so sorry, Rachel."
Words were meaningless, but Rachel appreciated the sentiment, "you haven't even heard the worst of it, Kim."
"There's more?"
A solemn nod greeted Kim's latest question, "are you free at all this morning?"
"After break."
"Good, I can talk to you about this, can't I?"
"God, Rachel, course. Pastoral Care isn't just limited to the students. If you're struggling and need a shoulder or a safe space to talk, I can offer that too."
"Thank you," Rachel responded, "we'd better go brief the staff," she added, returning to the task at hand.
Kim nodded, following Rachel's lead as she rose from the sofa. At that point, she didn't even want to think about the worst of Rachel's current situation; she'd reserve judgement until she had all the facts.
Having now dealt with start-of-term announcements and safeguarding notices, Rachel spoke about staffing changes.
"Finally, I'd like to welcome Rebekah McIntyre to the team. She joins us from a similarly challenging secondary in Durham to take over from Mr Crawford as Head of History. I'm sure my teachers and management team will do their best to make you feel welcome."
"Thank you so much but please, call me Reb, everyone else does," the brunette spoke up.
"Fair enough, Reb, welcome once again. I think that's it. Unless anyone else has any notices," Rachel said whilst casting a glance to her right, then her left.
"Actually, I've got something I want to say," Eddie responded as he stepped forward.
Rachel's stomach lurched as she thought about what Eddie might say. Only one thing made sense, and it was the one thing she didn't wish to share with her wider circle of colleagues. "Eddie," she hissed.
Eddie ignored her. "Before the rumour mill gets hold of this and you all draw your own conclusions, I would like to confirm that Rachel and I separated over the summer break."
The first bell sounded in the corridors, much to Rachel's relief. It meant she didn't have to answer awkward questions about the split, for the time being at least. She left the staff-room and retreated to her office, Kim followed moments later as she had a class to take. The rest of the staff left in dribs and drabs until only Tom and Eddie remained. "Jeez, mate, I didn't see that coming," Tom commented upon approaching.
Eddie rolled his eyes, "tell me about it."
"Do you want to talk?"
Eddie shook his head, "still trying to get my head around it."
Tom nodded, "you know where I am if you change your mind," he said, clapping a hand to Eddie's shoulder.
"Thanks, Tom," Eddie responded, giving him the first genuine smile of the day.
Sensing that the conversation was now at an end, Tom left, and Eddie followed soon afterwards.
With his animosity towards Rachel ruling over rational thought, Eddie got a savage amount of pleasure out of telling the staff about their split. Given how anxious Rachel was in the beginning to keep their relationship under wraps, he sensed she'd be the same about their breakup. Now, she had no option but to confront it as Eddie had announced it to the staff body. In that one maddening moment, he didn't care about any fall-out that would come because of his move. All he cared about was taking back control from Rachel in dictating when the staff found out. She'd given him no say in the breakdown of their relationship, so he offered the same regarding announcing the fact. It seemed petty, but that was the level he sat at.
Tit for tat.
It would be a long term if they maintained the current status quo.
"How are you settling in, Reb?" Steph questioned as she joined the newest recruit and Matt in the staff-room at break-time.
"Great, thanks. Some pupils are difficult, but that's where the challenge lies. I didn't sign up to just teach those who want to learn, I want to change lives."
Steph struggled to suppress a snort, an answer straight from the textbook if ever there was one. "Anyway," Matt said, intent on changing the subject, "you'll join us at the pub tonight for karaoke night, won't you?"
A gleeful expression crossed Reb's face, "do I get to choose my song?"
Matt and Steph shared a glance, "nope, it's part of the ritual. We choose," he invented.
Reb nodded, accepting the bizarre explanation, "if you give me the lowdown on Boss and Deputy Boss, I'm in."
Steph furrowed a brow in confusion, "why are you so interested?"
Reb shrugged, "I don't know the history, and after what happened at the end of today's briefing, I need catching up."
Steph delighted in having yet another person to bring up to speed. "Sit yourself down Reb, I've a lot of ground to cover and not a lot of time to do it."
The bell rang overhead to signal the end of break-time as Rachel trod the familiar path from her office to Kim's. Students raced in from outside as they tried to get to their lessons on time. Without Kim's distraction, she'd have ventured down the Maths corridor. To watch Eddie teach. Not a good idea. The breakup remained a sore subject, so for now, Rachel kept her distance. Only seeing him when duty demanded it.
As she knocked and waited for the call to come in, Rachel blew out a breath. Telling herself this was for the best, she entered upon Kim's instruction and prepared to admit the other woman into her inner circle.