[Insert Little Green Bag lyrics here]

It was supposed to be a quick-and-easy, in-and-out supernatural round-up, but even the simplest of operations end in disasters. In the end, they only managed to capture one ghost. After that night, Fenton Works™ swore to never again conspire with the Guys In White™–even if it meant being denied a government grant. On the other hand, the Fentons captured the one ghost they was on their top priority list for months.

Danny, or "the Phantom", opened his eyes. He was in the lab, tied down to a stainless steel table–strapped down to be exact. Furthermore, he was mouth was covered with duct tape. In a sense, "the Phantom" was truly 'bound and gagged'.

Standing before the table was patriarch Jack–nobody else. He was all fudged up and ready to experiment on his game.

"Well, Phantom," said Jack, sharpening a Fenton Scalpel™, "It's just you and me tonight. Madds is out to hunt some more of your kind, and Jazz is fast asleep. That means I get to have my way with you, like I always wanted to!"

Danny tried to say something along the lines of 'you got the wrong guy' or 'i am not an animal', but as he was gagged, all that came out were unintelligible muffles. Jack, meanwhile, held his scalpel up in the air, allowing its metal to gleam. He felt good about himself, knowing how to sharpen a knife. On the same arm was his wristwatch, and it read 9:00 PM. Somehow, that meant something to Jack.

"I'm feeling nostalgic right now, Phantom," he said, walking to another table against the wall, "I think I'm gonna put on some music before we get started. You like 70's rock, Phantom?"

On this table in particular was a clock radio. Jack switched it on, then turned the dial until he got a clear signal. 'Oh good', he thought, 'My favorite show is on!'

From the radio came the voice of a DJ–tired and out of his mind. Nevertheless, he persisted.

"You might call this next group 'I Can't Believe It's Not Dylan', but I call 'em 'Stealers Wheel'."

A sound of a needle lowering onto a vinyl record could be heard, then the song proper began.

Jack approached "the phantom", dancing a bit and singing along as he did so.

[Insert Stuck in the Middle With You lyrics here]

Jack swung his scalpel across Danny's face. He missed, but that didn't stop Danny from flinching. That was only a warning strike: next time he wouldn't be so lucky. Indeed, the second swing dug right across his face.

[Insert more Stuck in the Middle With You lyrics here]

With his special, phase-proof Fenton Gloves™, Jack held Danny's head with a firm grip. He dug the scalpel in on the left side of Danny's face, deeper than before. Even from our perspective, with Jack's gluttonous body obstructing our view, we can't watch; so we're gonna look up at a corner of the room for a while Jack does his thing.

"Was that as good for you as it was for me?"

Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you.

He pulled off 'the Phantom's' ear. It was covered with red blood and green ectoplasm. 'The Phantom' was screaming and howling in pain.

Danny woke up with a jolt. He felt around his face for his ear–it was still in tact–and sighed in relief. He has had plenty of nightmares in his time, but that one was by far the weirdest. The torture he envisioned was as gruesome as always, but the song on that radio was really catchy.

Danny knew exactly who was to blame for a weird nightmare like that one, and he was standing right next to him.

"Nocturne," he groaned, "I knew you had something to do with this."

"Problem?" the nightmare ghost shrugged, "That was my best one yet!"

"More like your weirdest one yet. Was that a real song?"

"I take it you've never seen Reservoir Dogs before."

"Is it Rated R?"

"Yes…"

"Then I haven't seen it. I mean, I'm only fourteen! If I wanted movie-theme nightmares, I would've gone with Young Frankenstein…or Labyrinth."

"Listen," said Nocturne, getting real, "I'll put you in the movies I want you to experience!" Then he turned soft, "But that's not to say those aren't good choices–I might put them on the list."

"Okay, good," said Danny, "Now will you go away, please? I got an English test in the morning!"

"You don't have to tell me twice." Nocturne knew he was metaphorically defeated, and took off on his own.

Danny fell back to sleep, feeling good about himself. The nightmare that Nocturne planted in his head was gone.

All that was left was that catchy tune.