Chapter 13

Charlie arrived at Hogwarts alone and out of breath. Seeing the castle destroyed made him stop short. There was smoke everywhere and you could hear nothing but screams. Death eaters were swarming the place, trying to get away. Charlie knew that he got there too late. He was in Romania when his dad's head had appeared in the fireplace of the small house he was living in when he was at work. It had taken Charlie way too long to get to Bucharest and get a portkey to London. By the time he'd made it to Hogsmeade the sun was rising already and the feeling of dread in his stomach had gotten almost unbearable.

He shouted a hex at a death eater who then went down. Where was his family? He frantically looked over the bodies that littered the area. Petrified to see anyone with red hair. There were also a lot of death eaters on the ground. Charlie stopped. A terrifying thought slowly entered his head. Holly hadn't send him a message like she said she would. He had assumed that she was in Italy already but what if she hadn't managed to get away? What if her body was among the ones he was now stepping over?

Charlie's breath was going quicker and he entered the castle, his wand stuck out in front of him. He knew that you know who must be dead, there was no other reason why his followers would be fleeing if not for their leader having been defeated. It was much calmer inside the castle. When he entered the great hall his first instinct was to turn around again. There were bodies lined up in the middle of the hall. Too many bodies. They were almost all students, their school robes in tatters.

"Charlie!" Someone was running towards him, but Charlie could not make out who it was. Tears were streaming down his face when he saw the body of one of his brothers on the floor, his family standing around him, their faces just as devastated as he felt. And then Bill was crushing into him and the two brothers held on to each other, crying.

The burrow was silent. It did not feel like they had won. Everywhere he looked, Charlie saw only his own pain reflected in his family's faces. He couldn't bear to look at George. Even now, two weeks after Fred's funeral, everyone was wearing black still. Charlie felt empty. And guilty. Because his thoughts were not with his family alone. He still didn't know where Holly was. He had send an owl to Marcus Flint a week ago now and had not received a reply yet. She hadn't been listed as dead in the daily prophet but not many death eaters had. And Charlie did not want to believe that she was dead. Because there was no way that he'd survive that.

"Charlie?" Bill said quietly as he entered the living room. Charlie did not look up. "A letter has arrived for you."

Bill sat down next to him. There was a small roll of parchment in his hand. Charlie took it, his hands shaking. He stared at the roll. He didn't have the strength to open it. It was such a small thing but there was no doubt in Charlie's mind that whatever was written on it would change his life. One way or the other. He took a deep breath in and slowly unrolled the piece of parchment. Three words. It was only three words. Never had any three words caused him more pain than he felt right now. And still he read them over and over again. Willing them to disappear. To change to anything but what they were.

"What does it say?" His brother said, his voice full of worry.

Charlie looked up at his brother, tears running down his face. "She never arrived." He held out the piece of parchment were just that was written. She never arrived.

"Charlie, I'm so sorry." Bill pulled him close and hugged his brother. "But we will find her. I promise you."

Charlie entered the entrance hall of St. Mungo's. Bill was at his side. His brother had not really left his side since Charlie had received Marcus Flint's message yesterday. He probably thought that Charlie would do something stupid.

They walked up to the receptionist and were surprised that there was no queue. But before they could ask the witch about Holly, she pointed to a wall to her right. "Names of the fallen are listed on this wall." Then she pointed to her left. "Names of everyone currently admitted to the hospital on this wall." Her voice sounded tired, she'd obviously had to say this a million times since the final battle almost a month ago now.

"The names of his followers too?" Bill asked and Charlie was glad that he had his brother with him.

The witch gave them a long questioning look but nodded eventually. "Everyone is listed. There are only a handful of dead and wounded that we've not been able to identify yet. If you can't find who you are looking for on the walls, come back to me. Then you may look at the photographs we've taken of the ones unidentified." The witch raised one eyebrow at them. "Many of his followers have fled abroad."

Charlie and Bill thanked her and turned away from the reception area. They looked at each other.

"The fallen first." Charlie said before Bill could ask. They made their way to the wall on the right. To their relief the names were sorted alphabetically. There was no distinction whether the fallen had been a victim or a death eater. Charlie stared at the section of all the surnames beginning with B. Her name was not there. For the first time in weeks he felt something akin to hope blooming in his chest.

"Charlie." Bill said, his voice quiet.

Charlie turned to his brother. He was looking at a different section of names. And when the realisation hit him, Charlie buckled to his knees. How could he have been so stupid? Of course he wouldn't find her under B. Bill rushed up to him and pulled him into his arms. Charlie felt tears form in his eyes again. Holly Lee. Not Burr.

"Shh, Charlie. It's okay." His brother said against his ear. "She's not there. Her name is not on there."

Charlie staggered to his feet. He ignored the feeling of hope that was spreading out from his chest again and took a look at the names listed under L himself. And her name wasn't there.

He rushed over to the list of the wounded, looking under L straight away. No Holly. His mouth was suddenly very dry. Charlie didn't wait for his brother but went straight back to the receptionist.

"I need to see the photographs." His voice sounded hoarse. The receptionist opened her mouth but something in his eyes made her close it again. Instead she pointed to a door just behind her. Bill had caught up with him and together the entered the small room.

"Take a seat please!" Another tired sounding voice prompted the two brothers.

Charlie and Bill took a seat on the small leather couch and a stately looking wizard sat down across from them, an envelope in his hands.

"Fallen or injured?" He said, not rudely just defeated. Charlie couldn't help but feel sorry for the man.

"Fallen first." Bill grabbed Charlie's hand. "Please." He added.

The wizard nodded and pulled out a small wad of photographs. He passed them to Bill who he had correctly identified as the more composed of the two. Bill looked through the pictures and Charlie just stared at a point between his feet. There was no way he'd be able to look at the faces of the dead. Not if there was the now very real possibility of seeing her face.

"I…erm…I am not sure with this one." Bill said, his voice shaky.

Charlie's heart sank. Please, Merlin, don't let it be her. He took the photograph out of his brother's hand. It was a dark haired witch, she almost looked like she was sleeping if it weren't for her open eyes. Her hair fell down in waves. But it wasn't her. Charlie was certain. So he shook his head.

Bill audibly let out the breath he'd been holding in. "Right. That was the last one. Can we see the wounded now please?"

The wizard handed Bill the second stack of pictures, it was much thicker than the one of the fallen. Bill looked through them and Charlie was watching his brother's face. He'd be able to tell from his reaction. When Bill had gotten to the end of the stack he shook his head. Charlie took the photographs and looked through them as well. Holly was not among them.

The two brothers left St. Mungo's in silence. Maybe she'd made it abroad? But she'd have only gone to Italy and Flint would have told him. Where was Holly?

Charlie was sitting at breakfast with his family. It was now almost two months since the end of the war. George had made a joke this morning and for a moment they had all laughed before the reality of Fred not being here had set in again. Now they were all eating in silence.

A scratching noise on the window made them all flinch.

"It's just the owl with this morning's paper." Their mum said, her shaky voice betraying her own nerves.

She got up and after paying the owl, returned to the breakfast table. She sat down again and passed the paper to their dad. He opened the paper and they all read the headline.

"So they've lined them all up?" Ginny said, her voice sounding angry.

Charlie stretched his neck so he could read the paper better. For the past weeks aurors had been sweeping the country, trying to find all the death eaters that had managed to flee in the confusing aftermath of the battle. The daily prophet now had given a date when the trials would start.

"Yeah, they've found quite a few more. Although most have been locked up in Azkaban already. I suppose they just want to start now. Even if not all have been found." Their dad said and Charlie could see his eyes darting through the list of names printed under the headline. All of these wizard and witches were to be put on trial starting next week. He couldn't believe how many there were.

Ginny had stood up to read the article over their dad's shoulder. Charlie could see her mouth moving as she was going through the list as well. Then she raised her hand to her mouth and looked straight at Charlie. And before she'd uttered a single word, Charlie knew. He knew that Holly's name was among them.

He stood up so abruptly that his chair was falling over behind him. Everyone looked up but Charlie ignored them and rushed out into the garden. His throat was closing up, he needed air. As soon as he got into the garden Charlie felt nauseous. He reached out for a tree and managed to hold on to it when his breakfast came back up. Charlie threw up until there was nothing left in his stomach. And even then he kept heaving. Cold sweat was on his forehead.

"Charlie?" Bill's voice made him look up. His older brother walked up to him and passed him a glass of water. Charlie drank it greedily to try and get rid off the acidic taste in his mouth.

"What should I do now? Bill, they will lock her up!" Charlie's voice was hoarse and talking hurt his throat.

"We will get her. We will go to the trial and speak out for her. We'll tell them how she was working for Dumbledore and the order. How she was a spy. They'll acquit her." Bill said, his voice sounding so sure. Charlie nodded. He hoped his brother was right.

Charlie and Bill sat through the sentencing of four death eaters before Holly entered the room. Charlie's heart broke when he saw her. Holly was wearing Azkaban robes, her hair was hanging down in dirty waves and she looked thinner than Charlie had ever seen her. She must have been in Azkaban all this time. It took everything he had to not just jump up and hug her. He felt his fingers digging painfully into the wooden bench he was sitting on. She was alive. That was all that mattered. Somehow she was alive and he would get her out of this.

Holly was seated on the chair in the middle of the room, the wizengamot spread out in a half circle in front of her. Kingsley Shacklebolt, the newly appointed minister for magic, was leading the hearing. He and Bill had spoken to him in the morning and Kingsley had assured them that they would be able to speak on Holly's behalf after the accusations made against her had been read out.

Charlie had tried to catch Holly's eyes when she had been lead into the room but Holly had been staring at the floor in front of her. Now she had her back to him.

"Holly Lee, née Burr, you have been arrested on the first of May by the aurors McLaggen and Prixley at Gringotts. You were found in the company of three other death eaters, one of them being your husband Barnaby Lee. Can you explain what you were doing there?" Kingsley said, his voice strong but not unkindly. Charlie felt a glimmer of hope forming in his chest. Kingsley was giving her the chance to defend herself.

"The dark lord had ordered us to him. He was furious about something. Something had been stolen out of Bellatrix Lestrange's vault. We were to check it for her. To see whether a sword and a golden cup were still in it." Holly said, her voice sounding weak and mechanical. There had been whispers when she'd said called Voldemort the dark lord. Charlie swore internally.

"When the aurors got there you were unconscious. Did you try and fight the other death eaters?" Again, Kingsley tried to hand her a way out.

Charlie held his breath. Please, Holly, just say yes.

"No. Barnaby Lee attacked me." Holly whispered, her voice barely audible.

Kingsley sighed deeply. Some wizards in the wizengamot were whispering. "Mrs Lee, your husband was on trial yesterday. He told us that you put him under the imperius curse as well as a forbidden mind altering spell for the majority of a year. Is that true?"

Holly nodded and Charlie felt any glimmer of hope for her acquittal flitter out. What was she doing? Why was she not defending herself?

"Very well." Kingsley sounded defeated. He briefly looked at Charlie and it was almost as if he was sending a silent apology for what was going to come next. "As well as the use of the imperius curse and the forbidden mind alternating spell you are being accused of the following…"

Bill grabbed Charlie's hand as they listened to the accusations. Charlie felt himself turn to stone.

Aiding the attempted murder of the muggle prime minister, torturing ministry officials including the use of a number of spells that are especially vicious as well as the cruciatus curse, kidnapping several ministry officials and/or members of their families…

Kingsley's voice droned on and on and Charlie felt numb. And then it came. What he had feared most.

"…as well as the torturing and killing of at least five muggles. Before I ask Mrs Lee, is there anyone who would like to add to these accusations or wants to speak up in defence of the accused?"

Charlie almost didn't feel Bill taking his hand and pressing it. He looked at his brother. What was he supposed to say in her defence? What could he possible say? He'd always known that there were certain things that Holly had kept a secret from him. That there were things she had to do in order to make it look as if she were one of them. But killing? Did she really not have a choice? Charlie swallowed. He should say something at least, Kingsley was now also looking at him.

"Don't let them remain nameless victims, Shacklebolt!" An angry voice came from somewhere off to his right. Everyone turned towards an elderly witch. "We know the names of the muggles. We know the names of the ministry officials she's tortured!" The witch suddenly pointed at Charlie and his brother. "See! His brothers are here. Don't keep it a secret that she used the cruciatus curse on Percy Weasley!"

Charlie thought he couldn't breathe. Bill's face turned to stone. She had tortured Percy. Their brother Percy. Holly, who said that she would never do anything to hurt his family, had tortured his brother. Charlie looked at Holly and she stared back up at him. There was so much pain in her eyes. They were still looking at each other when Kingsley read through the names of the muggles and ministry workers that she had tortured and killed. Percy's name came up again.

"Mrs Lee." Kingsley said, his voice now exhausted. "What do you plead?"

Holly shut her eyes and turned back towards the minister of magic. "Guilty." Her voice barely more than a whisper.

Charlie did not feel anything. He did not feel anything when Kingsley sentenced her to life in Azkaban. He did not feel anything when Bill lead him out of the courtroom. He still did not feel anything when he was back at the burrow, everyone walking on eggshells around him.

Charlie returned to Romania the following day. He dropped his things off at his small house and then apparated to the dragon sanctuary. Only when he stood on a small hill, looking out at the dragons soaring in the sky around him, only then Charlie started to feel. He fell to his knees, the pain washing in waves over him. Charlie didn't even have any tears left in him, dry sobs was all that he managed.

Charlie did not know how long he had been on the top of the hill. But now some of the tamer dragons had gathered around him. One of them, a Welsh green, gently stubbed his shoulder with its snout. Charlie looked up at the small dragon. He looked at all the dragons around him who had felt his pain. And he knew that he wouldn't have to deal with the pain in his heart by himself. After all, he had dragons.