Smile

I've loved you just like the mellow moon light loves the land.

When its entirety, glimmering high.

I've imagined you being the gracious moon light, beaming an angelic smile at me,

The Earth, as your eyes sparkle like the North Star.

I've loved you just like the cordial sun rays love the mountain peaks.

At dusk and again, at dawn.

I've you for immeasurable causes; yet I feel like I've loved you

For nothing.

But to see you smile.

I'd take on the hardest of ventures,

Just to see you pass that enticing girlish grin,

Precious enough to treasure till eternity.

Yet I feel like I haven't loved you enough.

I feel like I haven't loved you like Him.

I loved you the world,

You knew nothing of.

I felt my fragile heart shatter to pieces that day,

Impeding my inner torment,

I ceased my devastated eyes to ebb out,

My fortitude was ebbing away.

I heard you say that He confessed.

And how your heart linked with His right away.

As you found your love in Him.

We were at the lakeside, yes the same one,

Where you apprised me of your dad passing away,

You told me, you would never have someone who would love you like him.

Your crimson cheeks went pale, stained with tears.

Your smile was faltered by a gruesome grimace,

The day I realized I'd give my all

To see you smile the same again.

I embraced you, oh with such enormous endearment,

I whispered, that 'It'll be okay.'

Now, it's not the same day, not the same time.

The Red Crested Pochard still swum around though,

Only this time, I was not close enough.

It was Him. It'll always be Him.

I will be a distant melody.

I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous,

Staring down, hurdling stones into the water.

Attempting to throw my silly emotions away.

I should've been happy. I was not.

That day you didn't hear me cry.

I craved comfort, I had none.

Yet I knew, if that makes you happy

If that makes you smile,

I will bear this little bleeding,

With the strongest of resilience.

I would still love you.

I'd still blush to see you smile.

For I have nothing but loved you.

I'm unaware what was that you did to me

Friend-zoned? That's too vague a word.

Neglected? That's too harsh.

For I have just wanted you to smile.

At anyone, for anything, if not

At me, for me.

I smile, even to this day, remembering how

I compared you to the firmament, reflecting you.

Lucid when you're happy.

Dark and sulky when you're sad.

Cold and misty at moments of despair.

I liked how the weather of mine

Revolved around yours, affecting me the same way.

I longed to be the reason you'd smile, at me

Like the cool summer breeze,

Wiping out all my sufferings.

I weep, realizing you're not my world anymore.

I smile, recollecting the day you taught me to dance,

We both tripping up, etching goofy smiles.

You looked beautiful as heaven that night.

We rocked and swayed with the music, holding each other.

As you told me you liked me.

You kissed me that night,

Imprinting your tender pink lips on mine, forever.

Parting your breathe, blending with mine.

It was breathtaking, detoxing all my doubts

I thought my soul would be intertwined with yours.

But we were 12, and we were naïve.

You told me, with the sweetest of voice, we are good friends, innocently

Crushing me, stabbing me.

I couldn't reply to that.

I had so much to express,

Yet, I preferred silence.

That moment tapered away, more years passed.

Still I relish that, everyday.

I smile, since that day, I made you smile.

I've heard you getting married to Him.

I couldn't attend it, having hefty workload to complete.

Or maybe watching you drift afar was too much to take.

Now that I know your smile will continue to exist,

Regardless of my presence.

I've grown sixty now, and I reckon

That you are too.

We've lost touch in the tide of time,

Now I live eight thousand miles away from you.

I don't feel your presence anymore.

Your touch don't soothe my skin, but His.

Has He loved you like I did? Has He loved you more?

I have no clue.

All I know is that

You are His possession.

I smile, albeit wistfully.

Envisioning your smile

Awaiting the day I would be close to you.

Mustering the brightest of smiles, boasting my face wrinkles,

To see you again, to feel you again.

I would disclose every bit of my past emotions,

To you.

Having just a question for you to render,

Will you smile the same?