Notes: The plot is back on track. This thing should be about 40 chapters, give or take, by the end. And thank you very much for all the comments. All of you are amazing.
Governing is hard. Shisui knows this to be true in every fiber of his being. Listening to adult genin whine to him about petty infractions is trying. Balancing the needs of the civilians and the ninja is challenging. Not yelling at Fugaku or any of the other clan heads when they refuse to remove their heads from their own asses is almost impossible. But all of that pales in comparison to trying properly respond to this, in what is turning out to be an awful end to a trying morning.
The ANBU commander barges into his office restraining a clearly indignant, handcuffed, Naruto. They stop immediately in front of his desk, disregarding the clan heads who have frozen on their way out. It never ceases to amaze him how grown men can so closely resemble teenagers, drawn to drama and intrigue like moths are to a flame.
Naruto is wearing an ANBU uniform that is clearly too big for him. It looks like it would be loose on Hatake Kakashi, and on Naruto is comically oversized. He also has a stolen cat mask tied to his face, though it's large enough that he has had to align it with only one eye, so it's off center. He also has green paint in his hair and scuff marks over everything. Shisui tries to keep his face impassive as he looks over at the ANBU commander for an explanation.
"Sir, we caught him impersonating an ANBU operative and attempting to sneak into the tower. He said he was on a mission for Crow." Shisui nods and wonders what he's going to do. On the one had, Naruto should know better than to try something this stupid, but on the other, it's Naruto. Shisui is fairly certain the kid didn't intend anything nefarious. However, there is no true legal distinction between impersonating ANBU and children being morons. And with an audience of some of the most connected men - and women - in Konoha, however he decides to deal with this will be common knowledge by the end of lunch.
Impersonating any village official is illegal, and sentences vary from a small fine to execution based on the severity of the offense. Killing the nine-tails' host is clearly off the table, though the boy does need to be made aware that he's crossed a line. And as all his income is from village welfare, fines are fairly pointless as well. That doesn't leave Shisui many options from a legal precedence point of view. While the third was content to give Naruto countless warnings, the third was also almost universally loved by the everyone within Konoha and feared by everyone without. No one would dare second guess his decisions. People accepting Shisui without much complaint is actually a fairly good example of that. So what does that leave? Since the boy is enrolled in the academy, he's in a rather gray legal area. Not technically an adult, but clearly subject to martial law instead of civilian court.
Shisui looks Naruto over again before letting his gaze settle on the Commander. "Where did you find him?"
The man readjusts his grip on Naruto preventing him from making a dash for the window, though what he was planning on doing once he got to it was anyones guess. He didn't have the training to walk on walls yet and the drop would be very painful if not deadly. "Panther picked him up outside her residence, attempting to steal a chest plate." Technically, Panther shouldn't have had any gear at her apartment, though few agents adhered to that regulation. Since their identities were meant to be a secret, and dwellings tended not to be overly secure, all ANBU personnel theoretically kept their uniforms and weapons in lockers within headquarters.
Shisui lets out a breath he he hadn't even noticed he'd been holding and nods. The kid hadn't tried to infiltrate the tower or impersonate anyone from ANBU. That makes this all much easier to deal with. While attempted theft is bad, especially in a military run village, punishments aren't nearly as severe and minimum sentencing doesn't exist.
After a moment of thought, Shisui looks back at Naruto. "Since you seem to have a great fascination for uniforms, you will be assisting Ayako-san with laundry every day after school for the next," Shisui pauses, thinking, "six weeks."
Naruto glares at him defiantly and a little bit resentfully. Not that there's really anything Shisui would do even if he could. As much as he likes the kid, letting him constantly get his way will only spoil him. He'll need to learn the importance of the village hierarchy sooner or later. And with that, Shisui waves a curt dismissal, waiting until all the clan heads have left before collapsing back against the stupid Hokage chair.
"That was not badly done," Itachi says quietly from the behind his shoulder. "However, Uzumaki-kun will attempt to break in again, if you do not intercede. He," Itachi pauses for a moment, "misses you. I believe he is lonely at school. I had the opportunity to speak to earlier this week and he expressed a very strong desire to seek you out." Of course he did. Because this is his life, and there's no way Shisui can have even a moment of free time.
"I suppose I should probably do something about that, then," he says quietly, turning around to face Itachi. "How's lunch with the kid sound?"
Itachi is silent for almost a minute before saying "I believe you have a lunch appointment with my father." Damn. He'd forgotten about that. Itachi's tone is impassive, and his mask blocks his face, but Shisui can tell he's concerned. Between meetings with clan heads and listening to Danzo's concerns, Shisui hasn't been sleeping enough and it's beginning to impact his memory and focus. Shit. Just what he needs.
"Tomorrow then," he says with forced cheer and is gratified to see Itachi nod slightly. The two of them need a break and while lunch will probably only be an hour, it'll be a very welcom mental reprieve. Tomorrow. Today he's got about twenty minutes to mentally prepare for what should be a fairly easy meeting to inform the Uchiha patriarch that the village is willing to expand his jurisdiction to cover most village based missions. Though knowing how uptight Fugaku is, this will probably just amount to several hours of listening to ancient slights and grievances over which Shisui has no control.
"That sounds," Itachi stumbles a little over his word choice before settling on "fun." In the past Shisui would have teased him for it. His baby cousin never did understand the concept of fun or the point of social interactions for their own sake. Except where Sasuke was concerned. Sometimes Shisui feels jealous of Sasuke, but he can usually push that aside. After all, while Itachi is still trying to bridge the gap between family and village, he lives with Shisui, spends every day with Shisui and when push comes to shove, he will choose shisui over the rest of his family. Shisui will make sure of it.
The lunch meeting actually goes surprisingly well. Shisui had spent a long time talking over the presentation with Itachi, and while he personally felt some of the rhetoric was over the top, Fugaku ate it up.
"Thank you for meeting with me today, Fugaku-san. I've been meaning to talk to you about this for some time. I believe the military police are woefully underutilized. And I understand that this is my fault. Mine and every hokage before me. The police existed before ANBU and yet so much of their jurisdiction has been eaten away. I believe now is the time to reverse that. I have spoken with my advisors and no one was able to give me any reason for this theft of position, power and responsibility beyond fear of granting the Uchiha more influence in the village we helped found. With your approval, I would like to see the Uchiha take their rightful place as village founders. I have here, a new charter that would grant the military police jurisdiction in pursuing all internal law enforcement activities as well as expanding their role in patrolling the village walls and allowing the department to take official village missions on an as needed overflow basis. ANBU would no longer have any jurisdiction within the village without a direct decree by the Hokage or a request for assistance from the commander of the military police."
Even before Shisui finishes talking, Fugaku is smiling. Itachi had been right. Phrasing it as a return of rightful power instead of a simple expansion of jurisdiction had been the way to go. While he is fairly certain he could have tried to bargain for some sort of concessions from the Uchiha in return for this, it's just as likely that Fugaku would have been able to flip the negotiation around. And no matter what, Konoha needed the Uchiha to agree to this.
Before the meal is even over, Fugaku has signed the paperwork. By the end of the day, they have already finalized the details of the transition. Over the next three weeks, Fugaku and several of his senior staff will work closely with a transition team to be appointed by Shisui, Danzo and Fox, the current ANBU commander.
While he knows it's too early to even tell if this insane plan will even pan out, he can't help but feel optimistic. For the first time since he took - stole - the damn hat, he honestly believes there's a chance this might all work out. Fugaku was actually willing to work with him, and they've already scheduled a follow up meeting to discuss the timeline for the transition as well as what quantity of missions and at what pay rate the police could expect from the mission office. Shisui honestly doubts even the Uchiha will have the manpower to preserve order, guard the village and run jounin level missions, but he's willing to give them a chance.