Notes: Happy Holidays! Thank you to everyone who has favorited/reviewed/followed. You guys mean the world to me. I've been thinking about doing an interlude chapter with various people's points of view now that we're about a year into Shisui's reign as Hokage. If there's anyone or anything you're particularly curious about, let me know and I'll see about including it.
When the new school year starts, it doesn't surprise Sasuke that no one is there to walk him to class on the first day. He's a second year now, and too old for that anyway. He knows his father is busy now that the clan is in charge of protecting all of Konoha and his mother tends not to be home that much. And Itachi - Itachi is busy too. If he'd reminded Itachi that school was starting again, he would have been here. He would have found a way, no matter what. The fact that he isn't is Sasuke's fault. Not that he needs his brother, or anyone. He's just a few years away from graduating and becoming a full adult.
By the time he gets to the school, there is is a crowd of parents hugging their children goodbye. Sasuke tries not to look at them as he shoves his way past and into the building. Uchiha are strong. They understand that some things are more important than any one person. After all, a ninja feels no emotion.
The classroom looks pretty much the same as last year's and he takes a seat in the back of the room. The pink haired civilian girl, Sakura, is sitting in the front, but other than that, the room is mercifully empty, so Sasuke puts his head down and rests his eyes.
He's sick of pretending to be perfect, of pretending that he doesn't hear the vicious things people are saying about his family and his father. He knows they are just afraid of change and of the power of the Uchiha, but that doesn't make it any easier to listen to.
Sometimes - all the time - he wishes he wasn't part of a clan. He wishes his family was normal, that his parents were typical jounin and his brother was just an ordinary ninja, not a genius or prodigy or chosen savior of the world or whatever. Then no one would stare at him as if he was some sort of bug. No one would yell at him that it was his fault that their father was locked up, that it was his fault they couldn't afford food, that it was his fault their lives were ruined. That way, he would have a brother who would spend time with him every day after school. Someone to show him shuriken tricks and who would help him with his homework. And both of them could complain about homework or curfew or any of the things other kids complained about. Sometimes - all the time - he wishes he could be normal.
By the time the rest of his classmates start coming in, he has recovered. He sits in his seat with perfect posture, a model student. He doesn't let the whispers of his civilian born classmates bother him.
Why would the Hokage trust the Uchiha to defend the village?
Did you hear, the Uchiha took over ANBU?
Who thought it was a good idea to trust the Uchiha? I heard they were all power hungry snakes!
Uchiha are strong. They don't care about the opinions of others. His family has given up more for this village than all of theirs combined. They are a clan of ninja, trained from birth to carry out the Hokage's orders, no matter what. And that small voice in the back of his head, the one that whispers that people might be right not to trust the Uchiha? That there might be some truth to those rumors of betrayal? He shoves it into a box in his mind and buries it as deep as he can. He knows his parents, they love the village more than anything. And nothing, nothing, would ever make them consider endangering the welfare of the village. Nothing.
So he sits tall and proud, ignoring the whispers and the stares of his civilian classmates. He is above their petty squabbling and baseless gossip. He is above them. And when all of them have been weeded out of the program, as all civilians eventually are, he will remain. Tall, proud, superior.
The first day of class is as slow this year as it was last. There are a few older students who failed second year last time around and are now in with them to try again, but overall the class is the same. A few kids, all civilian, dropped out although, disappoingly, Naruto isn't one of them. Their instructor is still Iruka-sensei and he is still assisted by Mizuki-sensei. They don't learn anything new the entire day. In fact, the whole first week will be devoted to review to make sure no one forgot anything over the break.
It's painfully boring and made even worse by how enthusiastic that civilian girl his brother had saved last year, Sakura, is to answer every question. Her voice grates on his nerves. It's almost as bad as her shallow attempts at friendship. She isn't exactly subtle and hasn't made it a secret that she's only interested in him as a way to get to his brother.
He wonders if Itachi even remembers her. It would almost be worth taking her to him just to see her face when he looked at her with blank politeness, unable to even recall if they'd met. Not that it would ever happen like that. His brother never forgets anything. Except for your first day of school, the traitorous voice in his head whispers. But that's different. Itachi never forgets a mission, and that's all the girl was to him. A mission. If things weren't so busy with Shisui, and the Hokage, Sasuke knows that Itachi would have come. He would have.
By the time school is over, Sasuke is ready to pull his hair out. His real classmates aren't really any worse than normal. In fact, they're unusually supportive, going out of their way to tell the useless civie kids to shut up and making a point of showing their support of him. Some of them actually try to include him at lunch, laughable as the thought of an Uchiha ever willingly eating next to a Hyuuga actually is. Sasuke doesn't take the girl up on her offer, but does wind up eating near her anyway. There's no way he's sitting next to the Naruto or the civilian kids and as second years, they aren't allowed out of the classroom to eat, so there's not really anywhere else to go.
He stays after for a few hours to practice his shuriken form, but even that can't hold his attention for that long. Since it's just the first day there's no homework to do and he already knows there won't be anyone home for a while. So instead, he decides to head to the police station. His father isn't in when he gets there, but Tekka-san lets him into his father's office anyway.
The office is a lot smaller than he remembers. The last time he was here, mother had to pick him up so he could see over the desk. Now it looks like any other desk. Neater than most, but no larger or more grand. The surface is empty except for a framed picture of the four of them and a pen holder. Sasuke picks up the picture. The frame is simple, but shows signs of wear around the edges. Like the rest of the room, there's no dust anywhere, even under the glass. Sasuke smiles a little at the image, their father has a hand on Itachi's shoulder and the other around mother. He's standing in front of the camera smiling like a moron while Itachi looks like father's hand is the only thing keeping there. Carefully, Sasuke places the picture back on the desk and continues to snoop around.
All the filing cabinets and desk drawers are locked, so he finds himself looking at the small bookshelf against the far wall. It's full of thick tomes on criminal justice and law. However, half hidden on one of the lower shelves is the wooden cat Itachi had given father after one of his missions and right next to it is a small clay tablet Sasuke had made him when he was first learning how to write. It's strange seeing this side of father. Sasuke hadn't realized he'd bothered keeping any of that sort of stuff. Mother has one box of keepsakes from their childhood in a closet, but anything that doesn't fit gets thrown away.
As the sun begins to set, Sasuke realizes that it could still be hours before father comes back. With the additional police duties, neither of his parents are home before he goes to bed. Sasuke sighs, and wishes there was someone he could talk to. In that moment, he misses Itachi more fiercely than he ever has before. And, without stopping to think about it, slips out of his father's office.
The police records room is guarded by Inabi-san today. Sasuke knows that he isn't strong enough to fight Inabi, and while he's getting better at chakra control, there's no way he could cast a genjutsu, let alone one that could subdue a sharingan bearer. However, he has the element of surprise, and most of the village recognizes him on sight.
"Inabi-san," he asks quietly, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice. The other ninja looks up from his book for a second before noticing Sasuke and looking down at him. His expression is bored. Watching records is probably a pretty dull task. Especially since no one would be stupid enough to try to break into something in the heart of the police station. However, the only other place that might have what he needs is deep within Hokage tower, and Sasuke knows for a fact that he would get in far more trouble attempting to break into there.
"What do ya need, kiddo?" Inabi smiles in a way Sasuke suspects is meant to be comforting, but just looks creepy on his face.
"Tekka-san asked me to get the historical crime data. He wants to compare violence against police officers from the second's reign and now." Sasuke can feel his palms sweating and he hopes he sounds convincing enough. He doesn't know for sure whether they have information like that here, but it is something that father had been interested in at least. Sasuke remembers his parents talking about it over breakfast just a few days ago. Mother was concerned that people might be angry enough to actually kill, or at least attack, an officer. She said she could feel riots brewing.
Inabi apparently finds his excuse reasonable enough and unlocks the door to let him through with little fuss. He tells him to knock on the door once he wanted to leave. Sasuke nods and feels relieved that Inabi isn't going to try to go in with him. Although that, he supposes, would leave the door unguarded, so maybe it wasn't an option. Inabi points toward the far wall and some file cabinets there and says that that's probably were the information he needs is. And with that, Sasuke is left alone in the dark room.
The records room is cold and windowless and smells dusty. There are tons of tall shelves full of boxes of records. Some look to date back to the founding of the military police. Most of them appear to be coded or kept in sealed boxes that Sasuke can't figure out how to open. Luckily they aren't what he's here for.
Walking quickly with confidence he doesn't really have, Sasuke looks for clan member records. He knows his father had them brought here a few years ago in an attempt to consolidate paperwork. He finds the correct section easily enough and is relieved when the filing cabinet drawers open easily. Within, he finds current records for every living Uchiha, mostly just where they live and commendations and citations where applicable. The Uchiha don't have access to official mission data and there isn't really much else they could put in a file anyway.
Out of curiosity, he picks out his file to find it only has his name, face and address. Since he hasn't really done anything of note though, he supposes that isn't that surprising. Itachi's file is a little thicker with numerous commendations for different things he'd done. There's a copy of his academy graduation sheet as well as an assessment from his jounin sensei recommending him for chunin and jounin. Though, to his knowledge, Itachi went into ANBU before ever officially taking the rank of jounin. He's disappointed to find that the home address is still listed as his own home, since Itachi never visits.
Then, in a stroke of genius, Sasuke looks for Shisui's file. It's similar to Itachi's, though also notes that Shisui is a jounin and currently holds the rank of Hokage. There's a psychological assessment that Sasuke tries to read before realizing it's mostly written in code and not something he's really interested in anyway. But there, under the basic profile information, is the address to Shisui's current apartment, the one outside the Uchiha complex. Sasuke knows for a fact that that's where he'll find Itachi.
Shoving all the folders back into their drawers, Sasuke goes back up to the front and knocks. Inabi-san is a little surprised to see him empty handed, but doesn't really press him that hard. It's clear he's far more interested in his comic book than whatever Sasuke is doing.
Leaving the police department is a easy. Since no one had cared when he entered, no one even notices when he's gone. It's dark outside, but he'd been expecting that and it's warm enough he doesn't regret leaving his jacket at home.
It isn't hard finding Itachi and Shisui's place. The apartment is pretty close to the tower in one of the nicer residential areas. It's far more modern than anything in the Uchiha complex, but not exactly ugly. Sasuke doesn't think it's anywhere he would have picked though. There are too many windows and not enough living things nearby. There isn't even a garden, but he guesses neither Itachi nor Shisui would have time to take care of one.
After knocking a few times, and peaking into all the windows he can reach, he realizes no one is there. Not that that should surprise him at this point. That seems to be the story of his life now. Not ready to give in quite yet, especially not after all the work he'd put in figuring out where Itachi even lived, he sits down on the front step to wait for them to come back.
As it gets later and later, he starts to regret his decision. His stomach begins to growl and the air develops a chill it hadn't had earlier in the day. The cold concrete of the ground feels like it's leaching all the heat out of his body through his butt and his fingertips start to go numb. However, even as he feels his eyes drooping closed, he forces them open, refusing to give up on this. It's been months since he last spoke to his brother, and he's sick of feeling so scared and alone. He doesn't care if he gets sick, he's going to see Itachi tonight, he thinks, as his head droops forward and he drifts off to sleep.
A gentle hand on his shoulder wakes him up some time later. It's still dark out, but the moon has moved a lot since the last time he saw it. Sasuke scowls to himself, upset at his inability to even stay awake. However, that's all washed away when he realizes that Itachi is here. Itachi is here! Shaking his shoulder and asking if he's okay. Sasuke grins as best as he can through chattering teeth and launches himself up to hug his brother, wrapping his arms and legs around him like he used to when he a little kid.
Itachi smiles a little, but Sasuke's sudden weight causes him to take a step to steady himself before he can hug Sasuke back. Itachi's eyes look more tired than Sasuke has ever seen before. He wonders how much sleep he's been getting and what could possibly be so stressful.
"You should be home, sleeping right now, Sasuke," Itachi says quietly. His voice sounds exhausted, and Sasuke feels guilty for keeping his brother up.
He drops back down and backs up a step before saying, "I've missed you so much Itachi. I-I had to see you. I can't- I want you to come back home and live with me and mother and father again. I-" He can feel tears wanting to come out, but he pushes them back. Uchiha are too strong to cry.
Itachi sighs and his shoulders droop at the thought. Sasuke wonders if it's his fault Itachi hates home so much. He hopes not. "Things are- complicated. I don't think mother or father would want me with them right now." Itachi stops speaking for a minute before continuing, "You however, should probably go back. I'm sure they're worried about you by now. Don't you have school in a few hours?"
Sasuke shrugs. He hadn't realized it had gotten so late. He doesn't mean to say anything else, but when Itachi looks at him like he's trying to wordlessly force Sasuke to agree with him and go back home, the words just slip out. "I hate it at home. Everything is awful without you! Mother and father are never home and when they are, they just argue. I'm sick of being strong and being an Uchiha. I just want my family back!" He's embarrassed to feel tears streaming down his face. He doesn't know when that started. "Something bad is going to happen," he whispers. He knows he shouldn't tell anyone what he heard, but he can't help it. Somehow, even now, it still feels like Itachi is the only one who can fix everything. "Mother and father keep talking about… about the Uchiha taking their rightful place in the village. I'm afraid they're going to do something bad. Something that might hurt people."
Itachi doesn't try to comfort him or tell him that he must just be imagining things. He doesn't do much of anything really. Just puts his arm around Sasuke and leads him inside. He carefully nudges Sasuke into a chair at the kitchen table and goes about preparing hot chocolate in a very matter of fact way. That sense of control and normality is what lets Sasuke regain control of himself. He feels a little guilty betraying mother and father like this and a little more guilty adding to Itachi's stress, but mostly he feels relieved that he's told someone and that they believe him. And he knows Itachi believes him. He can see it in the stress in his brother's shoulders and in the way he didn't ask any other questions.
After the hot chocolate is done, there are two mugs, one for himself and one for Itachi. Sasuke is feeling much better. His fingers are finally warm and for the first time in weeks, maybe even months, it feels like things might get better. Itachi still hasn't said anything, but that doesn't surprise Sasuke. His brother only talks when there are important things to be said.
It's only after both of them have finished their drinks and Itachi has cleaned and put away their mugs that Itachi speaks. "Things are difficult right now, between our parents and me. And Shisui as well. They are unhappy that things are not changing faster and believe that it is because Shisui and I do not wish to make the changes. I know you miss me. I miss you every day. However, if I were to live with you, it would only remind mother and father even more of their frustrations with me and with the village." Sasuke thinks about this. In a way, he's glad that Itachi is treating him as an adult. He isn't speaking down to him or offering useless words like I'll see what I can do or maybe next time. It isn't the answer he wants though, and he doesn't think that Itachi would let him stay here with them either. No matter what, he doubts he'll be seeing any more of his brother.
Itachi notices his disappointment and tries to change the subject. "How was school today? Are you still top in your classes?"
Sasuke shrugs halfheartedly. "It was the first day. I don't think anyone is top yet." He can feel Itachi stiffen next to him and looks over. Itachi's face doesn't show expressions the same way other people's do, but Sasuke's had a lot of practice reading it over the years. He can tell Itachi is feeling a very guilty. For some reason, that, more than anything else that Itachi has said or done, makes Sasuke feel happy. He doesn't know why, he'd known Itachi would have walked him to school if he'd asked, if he had been told school was starting again. Sasuke's never doubted Itachi's love for him. But somehow, seeing that guilt, knowing that Itachi feels bad about missing his first day still makes him feel a little less lonely than he had before.
Sasuke hesitates and looks at his feet for a minute before looking up again and asking in his most innocent and manipulative voice, "Do you think, maybe… I could um- stay here, with you and Shisui sometimes?" He knows Itachi would never normally agree. He knows that mother and father would be furious with him and Itachi if Itachi ever did, but he doesn't care. He wants to spend more time with his brother and he's sick of having to share him with the village. He wants it badly enough he doesn't even feel guilty about using his brother's guilt and love against him.
Itachi looks so tired and that exhaustion is almost enough to make Sasuke take it back. He doesn't want Itachi to be hurt, but he's missed him so much. Itachi takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. "I can't let you do that. You know that Sasuke. Mother and Father would never allow it, and with Shisui being Hokage, you're much safer staying with the rest of the clan." Itachi looks so sad Sasuke is afraid he might break in half.
Suddenly Sasuke wishes he had never asked. Wishes he could put Itachi back together again and make him happy. Itachi looks so sad he couldn't give Sasuke what he wanted and then Sasuke realizes how he can fix him. At least a little. Putting on his bravest face Sasuke nods. "I understand. I wouldn't want Mother and Father making things harder for you than they have to be. Maybe you could agree to come home on my Birthday instead?"
Itachi smiles at that and nods. He looks relieved that Sasuke understood and wasn't upset, and happy that he could do something to make Sasuke happy. Sasuke hugs him again fiercely. He's missed his brother so much. And when Itachi whispers in his ear, "I promise no matter what happens I will visit you on your birthday," he knows at least one thing is right in the world.