The entrance to the suite cycled open and Jacen returned with Jaina, Jorj and two take-out cafs.
"Anything?" Jaina asked to which Han advised there had been no change. He didn't mention the vision, which was either no longer visible or invisible, probably depending upon his point of view. Han had come to realise a long time ago that a great deal depended upon a person's point of view.
"You were gonna tell me something." Jacen sighed.
"I was?" Han queried.
"Yeah. About you and Mom. Something...helpful." Jacen added.
Han wiggled a finger in his ear as if scratching an itch. "I was just reflecting is all, on the times I almost lost your Mom." He said, lost in thought.
"You let Jorj eat popsicle sticks? I'm not sure I approve of that." Leia admonished.
"Well you're not here!" Han snapped.
Jaina, who had settled Jorj on her lap, looked first at Jacen then at her father. "Who's not here Dad?"
"Sorry, thinking out loud. Just wondering what your Mom would say about Jorj sucking on a popsicle stick." He smiled.
"I thought it might help distract him...you know..." Jaina answered, her eyes indicating their mother. Han understood and acknowledged.
"She'd say they were bad for my teeth." Jorj replied and shoved the stick back in his mouth.
"She'd be right." Leia said, adding. "As always."
"Not always sweetheart." Han told her.
"No. Sometimes, they're just what a boy your age needs." Jaina soothed, stroking Jorj's head of hair.
"They can't see or hear me, nerfherder! So better watch what you're saying before they strap you to a bed in the psyche ward." Leia pointed out, copying Jaina by stroking Han's hair.
"I remember this one time..." Jacen prompted.
"Huh?" Han was struggling to focus on who to answer.
"Your stories always start, 'I remember this one time'..." Jacen reminded.
"Oh. Right. Yeah. Well, I remember this one time was when Chewie an' me were on our way back from...I dunno...some 'fetch and carry' for the Rebels, when we get this call from Rieekan to say one of their operatives needed transport urgently. So, good ole Han Solo leapt into action again." He said.
"You missed the part where you negotiated a hefty settlement for the...'inconvenience, extra fuel, danger to life and limb and for providing human transport on a vessel clearly designed for freight only'...I think was the wording on your chitty." Leia teased.
"Never did get paid for that." Han mumbled and ran a hand through his hair.
"Liar, liar, Falcon's on fire." Leia giggled.
"Anyway, we arrive at the co-ordinates to find this kid racing for his life toward us, about a dozen or so Stormtroopers..." Han started.
"It was two!" Leia scoffed.
"...On his tail." Han continued. "So I got the Falcon down low. Low enough to drop the boarding ramp and give the guy at least a fighting chance of jumping on board while Chewie provided cover. Brought a couple of 'em down too I think."
"Missed them both, but then it would have helped if you'd kept the Falcon steady instead of wobbling her first this way then that." Leia demonstrated with her hands.
"So I'm sitting up there thinking things I can't repeat in front of a minor..." Han began with a knowing look at Jorj.
"Doesn't usually stop you." Leia interrupted.
"'Cos a word of thanks about then would have been nice, but no, our 'guest' had taken himself straight to the medical bay which is where I finally found him raiding the medicine cabinet." Han went on.
"By 'medical bay' you mean that single bunk you've got and by 'cabinet' you mean the old box that smells like it once housed a dead animal." Leia noted.
"How is this anything to do with Mom?" Jacen asked.
"Oh he's getting there, trust me." Leia said.
"Turns out it was your Mom we'd gone to pick up, not some guy after all. She'd got her hair all tucked up under this workman's cap..." Han explained.
"That was part of my disguise, laser brain!" She argued.
"...And was wearing a pair of coveralls that wasn't covering much of anything at the rear." He grinned.
"Thanks to your damn boarding ramp! I was lucky it didn't cleave right through to the bone!" Leia snapped.
"I remember..." Han chuckled. "I remember..."
….."Just what the Hell do you think you're doing?" The much younger Han barked at the youth tipping medical supplies across the medical bunk.
"When did you last update your first aid?" The younger Leia demanded.
"None of your business, that's when." He growled, swinging her around to face him. The surprise was evident on his face. "You!"
"How very astute. Now do you have anything antibacterial or not?" She asked, eyes flashing fire.
"Where are you hurt?" He asked.
Leia arched an unamused eyebrow. "None of your business, that's where."
"Come on, if you're hurt I'll help you." He offered.
"I don't need your help, thank you Captain." She replied sourly, slapping him away.
"Sore rump, huh? Yeah, that boarding ramp's not the softest of landings is it?" He grinned.
Her eyes narrowed menacingly as she hissed at him. "Not the softest? It's damn near a death trap!"
There was something in the way she snarled at him that he found fabulously intoxicating.
"You prefer gel or cream?" He queried.
"What?" She barked.
"Gel antiseptic, or cream? You got a favourite?" He asked.
"Do you have a spray?" She questioned.
"Ah, clean out. Sorry." He replied, sounding almost contrite. Her annoyance was evident in the pursed lips and flared nostrils. "Still. I got plenty of gel and cream." He offered.
"I can't reach with gel or cream." She ground between her teeth.
"Then I guess my offer stands. Unless you want me to go get Chewie?" He suggested, hooking a thumb in the direction of the cockpit. Leia rolled her eyes and exhaled, then turned slowly to show him her back. Han covered his mouth to hide his amusement and asked. "Did my boarding ramp do that to you?"
"Well I didn't do it to myself!" She ground out.
"You're gonna need to, you know, drop the coveralls." He said, biting at his bottom lip to stop from laughing. He could hear her sigh and imagined the screaming match he would earn should a word of this find it's way around the mess hall.
While Han busied himself gathering antiseptics and self-adhesive bacta strips, Leia slipped her coveralls to her waist, hugging her arms about her chest. Han studied the scene for a moment before clearing his throat.
"The..er..the camisole too, sweetheart." He pointed out.
Another resonating sigh assaulted his ears, then the camisole was yanked to her waist angrily. A couple of deep lacerations pierced creamy white flesh in a jagged line from her ribs to below the waistband of her clothing. They oozed blood and undoubtedly caused considerable discomfort.
"Hmm." He breathed. "They look pretty deep. You should probably get to medical as soon as we arrive back on Hoth."
"No kidding!" She hissed.
"I'll do what I can, but the truth is the Falcon's not really equipped for a major injury." He said, sanitising his hands.
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe it should? In your particular line of work, I mean?" She sneered.
"She. Not it. The Falcon's female. An' like all females, she can be a bit stubborn about some o' these things." He told her, starting to apply antiseptic gel.
"You sure it's her that's stubborn and not her Captain." She grimaced as the gel stung her back. After her jibe, a little part of him felt a sense of smug satisfaction that the ointment bit into her wound, then he cringed as she faltered and stumbled with the increased pain.
"Almost done." He lied. "You're in luck, we got enough bacta strips to cover the whole wound."
She'd removed her cap and unbound her hair, combing it with her fingers over one shoulder. Han didn't think he'd ever seen hair quite like it. Predominantly a standard brunette Han had to admit that, much like the rest of her, there was nothing standard about those tresses. In the right light there was a glint of copper, a hint of rose and a texture as fine as gossamer silk.
He imagined, at least. The likelihood of ever getting close enough to find out was so remote as to be laughable.
"You..er..you won't believe this but..." He didn't give her chance to question what he was talking about before slipping his big hands into the side of her clothing and lowering them over her hips.
"Just what do you think you're doing!" She glared over her shoulder.
"Covering your ass!" He grinned back. "The wound goes further than you might think."
Her combing became more ferocious, her breathing deeper. His grin broadened. Cute ass! He thought, which was a mighty big compliment from someone who'd seen as many as Han Solo had.
It was more of a graze here, but still it required his full attention. Which was unfortunate, because in his head she was completely naked, hair wafting in a warm breeze and he was on his knees lavishing that cute ass with a thousand tender kisses while his hands rode the silken flesh of her thighs toward their reward.
He shook himself awake and quickly utilised the bacta strips to complete his task, then stood back to admire his handiwork. "Not a bad bit of repair work, even if I do say so myself." He noted.
"I hope you're more gentle on the Falcon!" She cursed.
"Wait there." He told her, returning moments later with a pair of pants and a shirt. "The pants'll be a bit long but they should do, an' I never wear that shirt any more anyways."
"You expect me to walk across the hangar wearing your clothes?" She exclaimed.
"Unless you prefer to make that walk with your ass hanging out!" He countered, then left her to stew over her own foolish pride while he went to relieve Chewie in the cockpit.
It was some time later when she finally put in an appearance. Wearing his clothes and, though he hated to admit it, looking pretty sexy in them too. She'd had to turn the pants' legs up a fair few inches and he tried not to notice the rosy hue visible through his shirt. The reason he didn't wear it was because it was a little thin for space travel which could sometimes be cold, especially when the Falcon's heating was on the fritz.
This was one of those days the Falcon decided to play nicely. Which didn't stop Han considering dropping the temperature control by a few degrees just to get a rise out of her. Physically as well as metaphorically!
"Chewie thought you might like something to eat. Then lectured me on my own eating habits before thrusting these at me." Leia said sweetly and held up two steaming wraps that brought a dreamy smile to Han's lips and a rumble from his stomach.
"Chewie knows me too well." He said, accepting a wrap gratefully.
"I don't think I quite understood what he said it was." She apologised, slipping into the vacant co-pilot's chair.
"Urf!" Han said, chewing and swallowing. "Sorry. Nerf. A particular favourite of mine."
"Is it spicy?" She asked, eyeing the wrap.
"You never had nerf?" He asked, astonished. "Were you locked in a tower in that palace of yours?"
Leia laughed. "Contrary to what you might believe, father and I ate quite austerely in 'that palace of ours'." She told him, taking a tentative bite.
"Huh?" He asked with his eyesbrows.
"It's a red meat." She replied with a shrug.
"That it?" He frowned.
"All right. As red meat goes, it's okay." She chuckled.
"Okay! Okay?" Han swallowed the last bite of his wrap. "I can see I'm gonna have to educate you sweetheart."
They fell into one of the semi-comfortable silences they fell into from time to time and Han found himself again surreptitiously examining his increasingly beautiful companion.
"Chewie's right. You need to eat more." He said, only then realising it was out loud.
"We struggle with supplies. You know that." She blushed.
"I got a run next week, I'll bring you something special." He offered.
"Just bring us what we need, I don't want any special considerations." She politely refused.
"A gift then. A small gift." He promised.
She nibbled her way through the last of her wrap and tried to ignore his obvious attempts at observing her every move.
"So, you wanna tell me what happened down there?" He asked.
"We were ambushed." She answered after a moment. "My team performed their duties admirably, which will be reflected both in my report and in my conversations with their families. The fact remains, we lost five highly valued operatives."
"And we can't have that!" He sounded so cynical it made her flinch.
"The loss of any life is regrettable..." She continued.
"Spare me! I've heard it all before!" He interrupted.
"You think I enjoy saying it?" She asked, angrily. "I hate it. I hate it more and more every time I find myself saying it."
"Then stop." He told her.
"And then what? Walk away? Walk away to where, Han? I have nowhere left to go!" She barked and bolted from the cockpit.
It was hardly the first spat they'd ever had. Neither gave very much ground and neither was prepared to accept responsibility or apologise after the event.
What made him follow her, he couldn't determine, but he did follow her and found her staring blankly at the ship's bulkhead.
"They were from Alderaan." She admitted.
"The Stormtroopers?" He queried, pretending to attend to some instrumentation.
"The ambush." She replied dispassionately. He stopped and turned to look at her, aghast. "We'd suspected for some time that our lines of communication might be compromised. High Command suggested sending a decoy. I felt that was as dangerous as it was impractical. The most obvious decoy was conducting a delicate mission of her own and to pull her out would have been foolhardy."
Han leaned against the bulkhead, crossing a foot over an ankle and his arms across his chest.
"Besides, if there was any danger, it ought to be borne by me." She continued, her eyes misting as she shook her head. "My own people Han. People I was raised to one day rule."
"Hey, I'm Corellian. But I'm not in love with Corellia." He stated, lightheartedly.
"I should have died on the Death Star. That I didn't was an..'opportunity'..I believe they said." She told him.
"Yeah. An opportunity to go on living. To keep up the fight against the tyranny of the Empire and to create a stable and just society for all." He said, smugly. "See, I do listen to the propaganda you people spout."
"That wasn't the 'opportunity' they were talking about." A sad smile briefly lined her lips then she went back to staring at the bulkhead, lost in her own thoughts.
"You ever ask yourself what you're gonna do once all this is over?" He queried, pushing from the wall to go sit beside her.
"What do you mean?" She asked, her attention now on him.
"Well, let's say, the Empire's defeated. Yay! We partied hard last night. You..." He poked her lightly with a forefinger. "Was something else on the dancefloor let me tell you. So the big bad guys all got theirs, now what?"
"Now we set about building a new republic. Stable. Safe. Honest. Just. One that works for the majority, not the few." She said.
"Who's we?" He questioned.
"We? Well...High Command I guess. Mon Mothma for one, Rieekan, Madine, some of the other generals I expect." She replied. "What's your point?"
"You?" He pressed.
"Probably. Possibly. I don't know. I still don't follow." She said.
"You, who were groomed to rule your people. You, who it could be said, are ideally placed and educated to be able to lead a new governing body. You, who it could also be said, was conveniently off planet the day it got blown to pieces." He offered.
"Receiving the plans which ultimately lead to the destruction of the Death Star. I still don't see what you're getting at." She shrugged a shoulder, curiosity morphing into annoyance.
"Rule a planet...rule a republic..." Han held the two invisible ideals in his hands, estimating their weight.
"You think I'd plot to murder my own people in order to secure a larger stake in the Galaxy!" She furiously snarled.
"Me? Nah!" Han shook his head. "Those other people? Maybe. I dunno."
"You think their actions are the result of mistrust?" She suggested, calmly.
"Just a thought." He concluded.
"Perhaps you're right. Perhaps my best action would be to serve no purpose in the new republic when it is established, if only to prove them wrong." She sank back, dejected.
"Maybe, you should put that idea out there. You know, dull some of the shine from that target on your back." He raised a questioning eyebrow.
"Maybe..." She mused. "It's been tough, you know, for displaced Alderaanians. No home. No families, many of them. No clear future or reason for living either."
"Them? Or you?" He asked, recalling her devastation at losing all she had called her own. "Any idea what their plan was?"
"They were going to sell me to the highest bidder." She stated flatly.
….."Sell her?" Jacen gasped.
"If I hadn't turned up when I did, chances are your Mom would have been somebody's trophy. Whether that had been the Empire or Jabba even, fortunately, we'll never know." Han sipped at his caf, grimacing at the taste. "It's cold!"
"You want another?" Jacen asked with a sigh.
"Thanks son. See if you can't slide a whiskey in it, help keep it warm." Han grinned.
Jacen rose, rolling his eyes and Han wriggled his finger in a 'come here' expression to Jorj who jumped from his sister's lap to circle the bed back to his father.
"Jaina, why don't you help your brother with those drinks. Let me and the little man here have five." Han suggested with a wink, Jaina understood and exited with Jacen. "Upsy daisy!" Han groaned as he lifted Jorj to sit on his mother's bed. "Man, you are getting heavy! You've not got a baby growing in there too have you?"
He tickled his boy's tummy, Jorj laughing and trying to fend off his father's fingers. Han cranked his stool higher and linked his hands behind Jorj's back.
"She's gonna be okay Jorj. You know that, don't you?" Han asked, nodding toward his mother.
"You shouldn't make promises you're not able to keep, flyboy. How many times have I told you that?" The other Leia queried, shaking her head.
"You know why she's gonna be okay?" Han asked, his familiar grin crawling up his cheek. "'Cos your Mom's a fighter. She's fought all her life an' she's not about to give up that easily."
"Suave! I hate it when you say things like that!" Leia cursed.
"An' she knows how much we love her an' miss her an' can't wait to take her home with us." He added.
"Wherever that might be." Leia yawned.
"An' wherever that might be, it'll be home. So long as we're all together." He finished.
"Damn, you're good." She drawled.
"All this..." Han indicated the medical equipment. "Looks pretty scary don't it?"
Jorj nodded, looking around from the corner of his eyes.
"You see this here." Han pointed to a monitor. "See how the light's blinking? That's counting your Mom's heartbeats. An' look." Han carefully placed Jorj's fingers over Leia's wrist pulsepoint. "You see that? You see the light blink? Bump. Bump. Bump. You feel that Jorj? You see how the blink matches the thump of her heart."
Jorj nodded enthusiastically.
"What's that one do Daddy?" The boy asked, pointing to a tube.
"That one's getting lots of lovely, fresh oxygen into her lungs. You know where your lungs are?" Han continued.
"Ahuh." Jorj drew big ovals over his chest.
"That's right kiddo. Exactly right." Han smiled.
"Looks like you two boys are doing just fine by yourselves. Mind if I grab myself forty winks?" Leia yawned again.
"You go ahead." He answered her whilst looking at Jorj. "You point to something and I'll explain what it's purpose is, okay?"
Jorj found things to query and Han did his best to answer him honestly. Though a couple of things eluded him, his answers seemed to placate the boy who decided on the strength of his new found knowledge that he was going to be a doctor when he grew up.
Han examined the boy through narrowed eyes and asked if he was sure, really sure that was what he wanted. Because he had hoped his child might want to follow in his father's footsteps and become a pirate.
Jorj had puzzled over that, then stared intently at his father's prosthetic eye before announcing that if he looked hard enough, he could see the insides moving.
Han had laughed and wrestled his young son and was telling him he was too smart for his own good when Jaina and Jacen returned.
"You got about a hundred messages on here." Jaina told her father, placing a comlink on the bed in front of him.
"And there are some reporters outside." Jacen added.
"I hope you told them to go to Hell!" Han growled.
"I need to go pee pee." Jorj announced, jumping from the bed to his father's lap then onto the floor. Han and Jacen made no effort to move, so with pursed lips Jaina rose again and offered Jorj her hand.
"Don't worry squirt, I'll take you!" She sighed. "Hopefully by the time we get back your Dad and your brother will have sorted out whatever it is that's going on between them."
"Jedis!" Han grumbled and rolled his eyes after his daughter left.
"Sisters!" Jacen grumbled back.
"So...you and this Tilly..." Han began.
"Seriously Daaad!" Jacen dragged a hand down his face.
"Look, son, all I'm trying to say is if you want to keep that girl around you gotta give her something to keep around for." Han said.
"It's not just how Tilly was treated. I'm not you Dad, I don't have that easy on the eye, outgoing, devil may care personality you have. It's not just Tilly, it's Tenel Ka too. She broke my heart Dad. Damn near anyway." Jacen explained.
"I think what he's trying to say is that Tilly needs to give Jacen something to keep around for. Remind you of anyone?" Leia asked.
Han snorted a laugh.
"Glad you find it so amusing." Jacen scowled.
"I wasn't laughing at you son. Just thinking that you and I are more alike than you think." Han offered. "I'd started falling for your Mom well before I dared admit to anything. Thing is, I'd been down that road already. An' before I wanted to commit to taking the same route again, I needed to be sure I wasn't just setting myself up for another fall. So, I gave her the opportunity to tell me how she felt about me."
"And did she?" Jacen asked.
"Eventually. You know, right before I got frozen in carbonite. Gave me something to cling to though. You know, a reason for coming back." Han answered.
"I had to rescue you first." Leia prompted.
"An' she's been in my ear ever since. Sometimes I question whether I shouldn't have just let the carbonite drive me nuts an' save your Mom the bother." Han moaned.
"And miss all of this?" She purred. Disconcertingly, she was lying on her side propped on an elbow atop the bedcovers beside her corporeal body in the slave outfit Jabba the Hutt had forced her to wear.
"What was it like?" Jacen asked softly.
"The carbonite?" Han whistled a raspberry. "It was a long time ago, son."
"No. I mean hearing Mom say that she loved you." Jacen corrected.
"I already knew kid. But hearing the words...like I said, it gave me something to hold on to." Han's lopsided grin took on a less sarcastic appearance.
Jacen fell quiet, mulling over something before inhaling deeply. "I ought to get back to Tilly." He looked toward his mother, a deep tenderness in his eyes. "Think she'll know I'm gone?"
"Sure she will. But, she'll understand." Han assured him.
"Think she'll be all right?" Jacen asked.
Remembering Leia's earlier chiding of him, Han shrugged a shoulder. "If it were up to me, damn straight she would." Han clamped a hand on his son's shoulder. "But it ain't up to me."
Jacen rose and placed a soft kiss to his mother's cheek. "Back soon Mom, I promise."
She watched him leave, smiling as he did so. "I'll miss him. When I'm gone." Leia sighed.
"So, is that what this is? A last chance to say goodbye?" Han asked her.
"I don't know what it is really. Nobody came asking if I'd like the chance to say my final farewells if that's what you mean." She told him, sitting up and checking out her body. "Wonder how he got my size just right..."
"Jabba wasn't the big, fat, stupid lump he looked like. His brain might have been smaller'n his gonads but he knew what he knew and he knew it well." He said.
"He had gonads?" She queried.
"I guess. Hutt's reproduce so I suppose he had a semen sac somewhere about his body. You tell me, you got closer to him than I ever did!" He replied, sourly.
"Still painfully jealous about that, aren't you flyboy?" She teased.
"I never much liked guys lusting after you." He shrugged.
"Except you." She pointed out.
"That's different." He indicated the wedding band.
"You weren't born wearing that. Take that time on Hoth." She reminded him.
"That was different too. They were being disrespectful." He insisted.
"You have an answer for everything, don't you?" She teased him further.
"Not everything sweetheart. I'm struggling to see a way out of this, that's for sure." He said, just before Jaina returned with Jorj.
"Little stinker needed a number two, as well!" Jaina snorted.
"Bin savin' that one all day." Jorj imitated his father.
"That's my boy!" Han chuckled.
"Where's Jace?" Jaina asked.
"He had to go." Han explained. "Might not be a bad idea for you to get home too, I can call if there's any change."
"I don't like leaving you." Jaina shook her head.
"I'm okay. Besides, there's some stuff I want to say to your Mom. You know, in private." He smiled, reassuringly.
"Oh boy!" Jorj exclaimed and slapped a hand against his forehead.
Han climbed to his feet and held his arms wide for Jaina to slip into. "You take care of that little one you're carrying, you hear me?" Han whispered.
"I hear you." Jaina smiled into his shoulder. "You call me, you hear me? For anything. Anything at all."
Han kissed his daughter's cheek and released her to lift Jorj aloft, the boy's long legs dangling. "An' you. You look after your big sister for me, okay? I'm relying on you, champ." He told his young son, kissing his forehead.
Jaina and Jorj both favoured their mother with a tender kiss before leaving.
"Just you and me now, flyboy." Leia observed. "Not going to go all mushy on me are you?"
"Oh yeah, you'd like that!" His grin crawled the length of his upper lip.
"Would it really have snapped you in half to have said it first? Or even second, for that matter." She asked.
"I needed to hear you say it first." He clarified.
"Because of Bria?" She queried.
"Bria..." He shrugged. "Luke..."
"Luke?" She barked a laugh.
"Don't pretend you didn't know how he felt about you. An' don't pretend you didn't like to make sure I knew it too." He accused.
"It was flattering. But I think I already knew Luke was going to travel a very different path to my own." She admitted.
"That why you said it? Because you felt it was safe?" He asked.
"I said it because I meant it. Would have been nice if you'd said it back." She arched an eyebrow at him.
"With Vader watching? Like I was gonna give him the satisfaction!" He scoffed.
"He's not here now. Just you an' me, hotshot." She pointed out.
Han sat forward, taking his unconscious wife's hand in his and sighed. The door cycled open and a droid wheeled into the suite.
"Figures!" Leia grumbled.
The droid advised Han that there was a further visitor requesting permission to enter. Han agreed, sighed again and slumped back, growling a 'sure, why not'. Somehow he expected Winter to glide into the suite so was surprised to see it was Luke.
"Good news travels fast!" Han intoned.
"I came the moment I heard." Luke replied. "How is she?"
"I've felt better." Leia said, noting Han's frown. "He can't see or hear me either. I'm still inside your head, remember?"
"She's very weak." Luke said, laying his hand above his sister's forehead. "Weak and..."
"And what?" Han and Leia said at the same time.
"And looking for answers." Luke replied, sitting opposite Han.
"Answers to what?" Han queried.
"Questions she has. Questions for you." Luke answered.
"Seriously Luke, I'm not in the mood for your Jedi crap!" Han sighed, exasperated.
"I could help you unlock those questions." Luke offered.
Han looked over at his brother-in-law from beneath dark brows and told him. "I already know what she wants."
"Yeah. But if he won't say it just to me, he's not gonna say it in front of you." Leia said, hopping off the bed and crossing behind Luke. When she emerged the other side of him she was as she had been on Hoth, white snowsuit and hair pinned in a crown on her head.
"I was just remembering Hoth." Han said, watching the prone body of his wife and smiled. "The night I got a broke jaw."
"It wasn't broken." Leia corrected. "If it had you might have learned something."
…..Leia answered the call to her quarters door, despite the hour, astonished at the sight of the two men propped against her threshold.
"Wh..what happened?" She exclaimed, stepping aside to allow Luke to help Han inside while she checked that their arrival had been unseen.
"Not entirely clear. It was as good as over by the time I arrived." Luke said, assisting Han to sit on the end of the Princess's bunk. "He didn't want to go to medical. Said it would just mean a freight-load of paperwork an' you know how he hates paperwork!"
Leia knelt before the Corellian turning his tender jaw to one side to get a better look. There was an abrasion above his left eye too, not deep, but it would require treatment.
"Who did this to you?" She asked.
"Walked into a door." Han answered, facetiously.
"Ahuh." She acknowledged and turned her attention to the way he was holding his ribs, an eyebrow arched.
"Twice." Han told her.
"I should report you." She looked up at Luke. "Both of you."
"Hey! I didn't..." Luke started.
Leia pushed to her feet and with a scowl at Luke went to fetch a small medical kit from her 'fresher.
"I'm only not reporting you..." She said, dropping to her knees again. "Because it would colour an otherwise exemplary military record."
"Why thank you Ma'am. Ow!" Han grimaced as she dabbed at the cut over his eye.
"I was talking to Luke!" She snapped. "I'm not reporting you because, frankly, your utter disregard for military regulations renders it a waste of time and energy best engaged in our efforts against the Empire."
"Told ya she'd be sweet." Han grinned up at his young friend, then grimaced again.
"I am not being 'sweet'!" She barked. "Simply practical. I've done as much as I can with your face, which isn't much, but it should heal in a day or so. Luke, give me a hand with this shirt would you?"
"Seriously, I'm fine." Han tried to push them away, but with their combined efforts they soon removed his vest and shirt. "See, just a scratch!"
"Han you could have broken ribs. You can't go out on patrol on a tauntaun in that kind of pain." Leia tried to reason.
"I've known worse." He grumbled.
"Luke, I need you to go to medical and ask Dr Tesh'Klar for bone knitters." Leia commanded. "No one else, you understand? Speak only to Dr Tesh'Klar and say they're for me."
Luke nodded his understanding and made a discrete exit.
"You got a thing goin' on with this Tesh'Klar guy or somethin'?" Han groaned as she pressed a hand to his ribs.
"Fifth and sixth ribs I shouldn't wonder." She guessed. "And Tesh'Klar's a woman."
"I don't judge." He told her.
"She's my personal physician. So this need go no further." Leia explained.
"What's a clean living Princess like you, need with a personal physician?" He teased.
"She maintains sealed records." Leia said, still examining his ribs. "Might only be cracked. You could be lucky."
"Maybe you should call Luke, get him to bring a portable exam machine back with him. That way you could maybe spend a little longer admiring my naked torso." Han suggested.
"Maybe you could tell me what this was all about." She countered, sitting back on her haunches, arms folded across her chest.
Han sucked at his lower lip before confiding. "Couple o' guys, trying to sound like they were something they weren't."
"So you decided to set the record straight." She stated.
"They were...disrespectful." He said.
"Do they look worse than you?" She asked. His lopsided grin was annoyingly predictable. "Do they look worse than you, now?" She persisted through her teeth.
"I got a good few swipes in before Luke turned up and pulled me off. There were two of 'em though." He pointed out.
"What could possibly be worth a beating like this!" She shook her head, lost in confusion.
"If you really wanna know, you." He answered, honestly and Leia's mouth dropped open. "These guys were in the mess hall giving chapter and verse about a liaison they'd shared. Now, I don't much like a guy who boasts about his conquests. I like it even less when it's a couple o' guys I don't know, talking like that with guys I do know, an' about someone I..and I can't believe I'm saying this out loud..but someone I grudgingly admire. So I take the time to listen in to what it is these couple o' guys I don't know, think it is they have the right to share with the guys I do know, and what I hear I don't like. I really don't like it at all."
"These two claim to have shared a liaison with me?" She asked, her brows furrowed.
"Quite graphically, yeah." He replied. "I presume that isn't the case?"
"Of course it isn't the case!" She barked.
"Hey, you're the one with the 'personal' physician honey!" He said, adding quotation marks with his fingers and groaning at his discomfort.
"Why would someone make up something like that?" She asked, astonished.
"You kiddin' me? There can't be more than a half dozen guys in the whole of the Rebellion who ain't fantasised at some time or another about you!" That lopsided half-smile, half-sneer was back.
"Really? Have you?" She queried. His grin broadened and she rolled her eyes.
"Not like those two though. That was...uncalled for." He reiterated.
"Why? What was it they were saying?" She asked.
"You think Luke's gonna be much longer? 'Cos, I don't know if you noticed, but it's pretty cold around here." He shivered, for the first time Leia noticed. Climbing to her feet, she lifted a soft blanket from her bed and laid it carefully around his shoulders.
"Han. Please. What was it they were saying?" She repeated.
"They implied..." He started and sighed at her look of fierce exasperation. "That you..er..double dated."
"That it?" She queried.
"Intimately." He added. Her expression didn't change. "You don't know what I mean? Of course you don't know what I mean." He cringed inwardly as her arms folded sharply against her chest again. "Double date...double dip...double dunk...double penetration nation..." His eyes roamed the small quarters before holding hers. "Do I need to go on?"
Her mouth fell open again and she exclaimed. "That's disgusting!"
"I know. I can't imagine what pleasure a guy might get out of that." Han said with mock indignation.
"I can fully appreciate the pleasure a man might get out of the act itself. What I don't understand is what pleasure they might get from pretending to have taken part in such an act." She said.
"Fully appreciate, huh?" His grin was close to earning itself another slap when it faded.
"Who was there?" She demanded.
"Like I said, I didn't know them." He denied.
"The audience." She clarified. "The perpetrators I can trace through medical."
"It's all a little hazy..." He said, laying a hand against his cut forehead.
….."She was gonna demand I tell her who was there a second time when you got back with that Dr Whatever. She fixed me up and sent us on our way. Never did find out who those two guys were." Han exhaled and returned to watching his wife as she lay before him.
"Wedge and Hobie reported the incident to Rieekan. Those guys were traced and...punished...I think would be the polite way of putting it." Luke remembered.
"Week later we were on Ord Mantell and I guess what my insides had been telling me for a while finally came to the surface." Han tore his eyes from Leia to look over at Luke. "The thought of a guy, any guy, with her just...just wasn't gonna happen!"
"Including me? That why you set me up with that girl?" Luke queried.
"You needed to get laid kid, you know you did." Han explained.
"With a stranger?" Luke asked.
"Well it wasn't about to be with Leia." Han countered.
"I don't think arguing over it now will do anyone any good." Luke suggested calmly. "Besides, in retrospect, your act of selfishness saved me and Leia from making a huge mistake."
Han returned to looking at his wife. "You getting anything from her? I mean apart from her wanting answers she already knows to questions she's already asked."
"She's a fighter Han. It's what she's done all her life and she's not about to give up now." The younger man assured his friend.
"She was pregnant. Did anyone tell you that?" Han asked.
Luke shook his head. "I'm so sorry Han."
"I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a dad again. At my age for Sith sake!" He groaned. "Hadn't felt much, the age difference, when we first got together. But now..."
"You're no different to me now than you were back then." Leia spoke softly. "The same stubborn, obstinate, stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking, nerfherder I fell in love with. Come back to me Han. Don't let it end like this." She begged.
Suddenly she was in front of him, her hands in his, the bed, the room, all gone.
"Mom? Mom?" Jaina's voice dragged Leia back from where she was, stooped over her husband's hands, clasped in her own.
"I was so close!" Leia moaned.
"You stopped breathing! I'm sorry Mom, but you stopped breathing and I..I was scared we could lose you too!" Jaina exclaimed.
Leia heaved a sigh and sat back in her chair. She'd spent the last three days and nights hunched in that chair desperately trying to reach the man she had loved for over half of her life as he lay in a medically induced catatonic state.
"Maybe you should wait for Uncle Luke. He is a Jedi Master, after all." Jaina stressed.
"He and your father didn't part on the best of terms. And I don't want to wait...I was so close..." Leia squeezed her husband's hand. Jaina turned a pained expression toward her twin.
"Mom, Jaina's right, you should wait for Uncle Luke and you need to get some rest too." Jacen tried to reason.
"I'm not leaving him. He wouldn't leave me if the role was reversed." Leia insisted.
"Mom..." Jaina tried again.
"I'm fine. And I'm staying put." Leia asserted.
Again, Jaina looked to Jacen for support, this time he shrugged his shoulders in resignation. Another visitor, however, gave them some small sense of respite.
"Thank the Maker!" Jaina breathed and rose to exit the medical suite and greet her Uncle Luke with a tight hug.
"I came the moment I heard." He told his niece, holding her lightly in his arms.
"Please tell me you can help. Mom won't leave him and she's not well herself. An'..." Jaina begged.
"Slow down. Tell me, but tell me slowly Jaina." Luke said, calmly. Jaina took a deep breath and explained how she had been sitting Jorj while her parents enjoyed an evening alone together.
"Dad had this real cool hotel booked for the night." She laughed through her emotions. "You know what Dad's like, he had a whole thing planned out. But when they got back to the hotel, Mom started to feel unwell. She, well, she'd only recently found out she was pregnant so as a precaution, Dad called for medics to attend. They looked after her, but it was too late. She'd already miscarried by the time they arrived. Dad blamed the medics, obviously. I mean, he knew they weren't really to blame but you know what he's like..'it's not his fault' right?..then, the best I can understand, Dad just collapsed."
"Have they explained anything since he was brought to the medical centre?" Luke queried.
"Something about a..blood clot on his brain. An..aneurysm, I think. Mom thinks she can reach him, talk to him, persuade him to come back. I begged her to get some rest, to wait for you, but she's every bit as stubborn as Dad ever was!" She replied.
"All right. Thank you." Luke rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "Where's Jorj now?"
"Riva Fizz and that guy, Poe Dameron, took him to the park. I think. Unless that was yesterday. He's being looked after anyway." She assured her uncle.
"Then, how about you and your brother go get yourselves some rest too and I'll see what I can do for your Mother and Father." Luke suggested.
"But..." Jaina started.
"I have this one covered Jaina." His hand dropped to her abdomen. "But she needs her own mother's full attention right now."
Reluctantly, Jaina nodded and showed Luke into the medical suite, exiting with Jacen while their mother and uncle embraced, warmly.
"You look exhausted." Luke chided.
"Don't start." She shot back. "I know Jaina's already briefed you so I won't tire you with the details. He's so weak Luke, so close to giving up."
Luke settled into the seat beside his sister and reached out through the Force toward his brother-in-law's fading spirit. A peaceful smile creased his lips.
"Can you reach him?" Leia asked.
"With your help. But, you must get some rest first." Luke replied.
"Luke..." Leia shook her head.
"That's not a suggestion Leia, it's a condition. If you want my help, then you'll get some rest." He repeated.
"I'll do this on my own if I have to!" She stated, chin jutting.
"Then you will fail. And your children will be orphans. But if that's what you want..." He spread his hands.
"I want Han back! Please, I just..I want him back." Leia pleaded, grabbing Luke's arm.
Luke studied his sister.
She was..wan..he thought the word was. She looked uncomfortably tired and without doubt still in some discomfort from her recent miscarriage.
She was also desperately in love with her husband and if he could spare her the pain and suffering he had endured in the months after the loss of his own beloved wife, then he would do all could to prevent that.
"Sleep." He whispered, then again and again until her lids slowly closed. Catching her as she slumped forward, he made her as snug as he could, tucked into the chair she was sitting in.
His attention then turned to his brother-in-law. The man many considered 'least likely' but who had, against all the odds, successfully won his Princess.
"Now. You gonna let me in or what?" He said to Han who remained motionless. "Yeah. Figured you'd say that."
Luke closed his eyes and concentrated. Concentrated really hard.
Han exhaled. Holding tightly to Leia's hand, he said. "Took 'em longer to stabilise her this time. So, what do I need to do Luke, huh? You want me to take her place? You got it, say the word and I'm toast."
"The Force...it really doesn't work like that. It does, however, work in other mysterious ways." Luke smiled softly.
"Yeah? Figured you'd say that." Han scoffed.
"Like now for instance. You're sitting holding Leia's hand, right?" Luke asked, Han looking back with an expression of abject pity on his face. "You're wrong. In actual fact, the roles are reversed and it's you who's lying in the hospital bed and Leia who's by your side."
Han let the silence settle, then laughed through his teeth. "Man! You've spent way too much time communing with your little invisible force friends."
"It's true Han." Luke repeated. "You're clinging to life by a thread and your wife, who loves you more than you can ever imagine, is by your side when she should be home resting after losing your child."
"You expect me to believe..." Han started, then paused, searching the room for the other Leia. The one who had told him she was in his head.
"What is it Han?" Luke asked.
"She was here." Han whispered, whipping his head around checking they were completely alone.
"Leia? Leia was here?" Luke queried. "She shouldn't be able to do that."
"Yeah, well, she did. She was here. Only now...she's not." Han said, puzzled.
Luke watched his friend processing the information.
"She wanted me to tell her something. Something she already knew but somehow it was important that I say it to her." Han mumbled before looking up at Luke. "What is it with women needing to hear what they already know."
"What is it you think she needed to hear?" Luke asked softly.
"That I love her. But she knows that. I tell her all the time an' not just in words either. I tell her in the way I do stuff. Why'd she need me to say that, when she already knew?" Han answered.
"Maybe, she needed you to remind yourself. To give yourself a reason to come back." Luke suggested, rising.
Han felt dizzy, light-headed suddenly.
A moment later, Luke was gone. The room was gone.
And Han lay in a dark place, eyes open but utter blackness surrounded him.
Odd sounds filtered through, not words, just the occasional voice or the sound of his blood rushing through his ears.
Han knew this feeling. He remembered it from years ago. From when he hung in Jabba's Palace encased in carbonite.
His muscles ached, he longed to stretch, to move, to breathe, to scream but he was held firm with only the occasional sound and her words echoing through his head for company; I love you, I know. What a dumb thing to say!
I know.
Like that was anything to wait for!
Would she be waiting for him? Would he wait for her if the roles were reversed?
I love you.
Of course she'd be waiting for him. She loved him, she'd just told him so in front of everyone.
Three little words.
How damned hard can it be?
Just three little words.
They formed in his head. They played across his lips. They were spoken, never to be taken away from either one of them again.
"Then come back to me." Leia breathed, lying in his arms, holding him, willing him to return.
Han inhaled deeply, exhaled, inhaled again. Slowly, he opened his eyes.
She wasn't in his arms at all, but she was by his side, smiling at him. Soothing him. Telling him to lie still, to take things slowly. That he would be all right. That she was here and he was alive and that he and they and everything would be all right!