I always Screw myself out of everything good; Chapter 6

She was leaving, just as soon as Alex felt he was feeling whole again when he saw Jo before him she was making her leave. Nothing changed. The divoice papers were still sitting unsigned on her part on the small table between the chairs and couch. That wasn't his concern; it took about 5 seconds for Alex's feet to move. He screwed up once, he would be damned if he allowed her to slip through his fingers again.

His shoes paced through the brown carpeting of the floors until he crossed over to the front door that just swung closed. She was a fast one he told himself; his hand met the closing handle in which he swung the red door open once more. His eyes landed on Jo attempting to call a uber on her phone as she tried walking down the stairs.

" Jo.. wait please." He called right as his hand extended forward letting his palm grasp hold of her arm, it was a light touch but enough to pause her movements. " I can't let you go, not again. We can talk about this. Just give me an hour." He was probably acting desperate now. He messed up; he believed he needed to be the perfect father, family guy for his children. But none of this meant anything without Jo with him. He was slow at catching up; but her here, she was his support, the woman he was crazy about.

Cue the brunette rolling her eyes. He made it look so easy to toss her the side weeks ago. Yet right now when she's willing to walk away he can't let her. She already had her phone out, her fingers clicking on the keys to call someone when her phone nearly slipped from her palm feeling a stronger pair of hands grasp her arm. Confirming the who when his voice ran out behind her. Talk? Was he for real? Where was this weeks ago? When he tossed her away as if the last years they've spent together, loving one another meant nothing. She was being civil, she was trying to get the closure she needed. But now she was annoyed, and mad. Her lips pushed together into a thin line, teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she tugged her arm out of his grasp. The rage was coursing through her frame.

" no. You don't get to talk now. My god Alex, you can be so stupid." Voice ringing out the angier within her voice. Turning her body in order to face the male she was speaking to. " You had weeks to talk. You had weeks to call me, to tell me to my face. I cried to you simply requesting for you to tell me whatever was going on here. I loved you, I always will. But you can't write a letter telling how at home you are now. That you love Izzie, that she gave you kids. You built life here, without me. You tossed me away like trash, like I was nothing. I was your goddamn wife Alex. I gave you an out. I told you to walk away but you didn't. You wanted me, you wanted to grow old with me." At this point the brunette felt her voice breaking, the prickling of tears daring to fall. She felt broken. He broke her. ' One call with Izzie changed how you felt, and I can't compare with that. Which makes me think I was the second choice, you never loved me. Not the way you did her, like you said if it was simply for the kids you would've been able to walk away from this. But you walked away from me, because you didn't love me enough to stay. You left. Like everyone else."

Bringing her hand up, the back of her palm wiped away the few stray tears rolling down her cheeks. Jo realized just then she never actually signed the papers. Which meant she would have to walk right back inside to write her name on those damn papers. Did she hurt Alex with her words? Maybe; there was a big chance. But Jo didn't care anymore; she had reached her breaking point. She had reached a state where she needed Alex to know or realize the damage that was now done. Jo felt her body shake. " I have to come back in to sign the papers." Uttering those words it left a distaste in her mouth. She wanted to be able to walk confidently back into his house to sign and leave.

Hurt, he was hurt by the comments. But he could see the pain behind her features, he could see he had in fact hurt Jo. She was trying to keep herself together. He didn't want to make it harder for her, this is why he backed down. His feet taking a few steps back, his hand reached for the handle of the door to allow them to walk back inside.

" okay, then you can leave if you want. Or you can stay for today. " He offered some extra time to stay in Kansas to benefit him. He wanted some more time with his wife; knowing full well if he allowed Jo to walk out one more time it would be the last. With all the strength he had left in him Alex led the way back into his house. He didn't want Jo to sign the papers but he made his bed in this mess; he had to let her.

He wanted to fight for her now, but he saw the pained expression on her features; the last thing he wanted to do was cause her more pain.

You could say at this point Jo honestly just wanted to escape. She wanted to leave and fully regretted her decision to come here. She wanted closure; she wanted to hear the words from Alex, but this was becoming way more difficult with each passing minute. She wanted to leave, but maybe a part of her wanted him to stop her. Hearing his comment; she was tempted which is why she asked that pending question. " What about Izzie? Will she care? And your kids? I don't want there to be an uncomfortable situation."

Jo had his concerns here at heart; despite the fact she was hurting.

Would Izzie care? Probably but honestly the male didn't actually care. Izzie was an adult; she could do as she wanted. This was his home to. As for the kids he wanted them to know Jo if tonight worked out well. His brown eyes peered across the hall to his wife where he decided on an offer.

" Don't worry about Izzie, she might care but I don't. My kids I need to be careful when it comes to them. I want one day with you, and if you still want to sign the papers, and leave I will let you. But I need one day with you. I messed up and I own up to it. But I want to try to make it right." He was being honest. He wanted to prove to Jo he was wrong; he jumped the gun and now he wanted to try to mend fences between them. He wouldn't blame her if she walked away. He deserved it all; he had hurt her, he stepped on her heart, abandoned her. But he wanted one day to prove he wasn't all talk.

Jo felt conflicted. She braced herself for his answer; but never did she believe he would want his kids to get to know her. Kansas was his life now, the family he was building. Its why he walked away from her. Her brown eyes taking the time to peer up at him she felt her breath hitch. " You want me to meet them?" She asked feeling scared, unsure of herself. Stepping forward until she was now right in front of him. She held her hand out to his. " one day. That's what we have and if we crash and burn at least we know we tried."

His features soften as he extended his arm out to meet hers, taking her hand in his the small touch made his stomach do flips. " One day." He uttered full of promise deciding not to answer the first bit. Kids could come after today.

If Alex was going to have one day with Jo he was damn sure he'd make it count.