Chapter 34: Love is Louder
Beca and Chloe were driving the next day after leaving the motel first thing. Beca was staring out the window with tired, red, and puffy eyes. Chloe kept glancing at her from time to time, not saying much, still not sure what to do. As she drove she got an idea in her head. They had four days left of spring break since their time at the beach was cut short. She hoped to give Beca a good surprise.
Beca woke up when they were getting closer to the Bella house. Chloe glanced over to the passenger seat as she drove past the exit. Beca seemed to take a moment of confusion before looking back to Chloe.
"You missed the exit."
"I know." Chloe smiled nervously. "I just had another idea. And you can totally say no. I won't be offended or mad. Don't feel like you have to say yes just to make me happy. I promise its 100% fine to say no."
"Chlo? I can't say no if I don't know what the idea is." Beca grinned.
"Right. Right. Okay. So we have four days left of Spring Break. We could spend it alone together in the bella house, which is totes fine. Or...we could go down to see my family. There's no beach close by but we have a nice pool. And I could show you my childhood room. Chase and Chelsea are still in school, they have break next week so it would be relatively quiet. And my parents would really like to see you. My mom wants to give you a hug so bad. In fact, she might drive up to Barden herself." Chloe chuckled, not putting that past her mom to do.
"Okay." Beca nodded as she kept grinning at Chloe's rambling.
"Yeah?" Chloe's head whipped back and forth between Beca and the road.
"Yeah. I'd like to hang out with your family for a couple days. I think that sounds like a better plan than wallowing around the house."
"I wouldn't have let you wallow." Chloe tsked. "But I think this'll be good. My mom's going to be so surprised!"
"How far of a drive?" Beca asked, still feeling groggy.
"Three hours." Chloe couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice. She wasn't excited about spending any more time in the car. But it'd still be worth it.
"Okay, I'm going back to sleep, then." Beca leaned back again in her seat and closed her eyes. Chloe smiled softly as she kept glancing back and forth at the road and Beca. She loved when Beca looked peaceful.
"And please don't stare at me while I sleep." Beca peeked one eye open to give Chloe a playful glare. "Eyes on the road, Beale."
It was late afternoon when Chloe pulled up to her childhood home. She immediately felt a sense of safety and love just by looking at the house. It was smaller than Beca's, but still a modest two story. It was a quiet neighborhood and was the image of suburbia with manicured lawns and someone usually out running or walking a dog. Chloe loved it. And judging by the way Beca's eyes looked at the house with a half smile, she loved it too.
"Oh sweet Lord! CHLOE!" Her mother screamed as she jumped out of the wicker chair on the front porch. She jogged down the few steps and took off in a dead sprint. Chloe would be embarrassed because surely a neighbor or two had to have heard her mother's screech, but she was too busy enjoying being wrapped up in a mama bear hug.
"Good God almighty!" Carl came rushing out the door in a panic, clearly concerned about the screams from his wife. "Caroline what in the-" And then he saw Chloe and Beca and his face turned into that bright happy one that Chloe loved so much and imitated quite well.
Caroline let Chloe go and then nearly knocked the wind out of Beca as she hugged her next. And Carl picked Chloe up and spun her around saying how happy he was to see them both.
"Okay, guys. Okay. Maybe we could go inside now? We've been driving all day." Chloe giggled as he finally set her down.
"Right. Right. Give me those." Carl snatched Beca's bags out of her hands and lugged them to the house.
"Oh, I'm fine, thanks." Chloe said sarcastically as she carried her own bags in.
"They like me more than you." Beca whispered teasingly.
Beca and Chloe were lying in her bed after spending the evening talking and laughing with the Beales. Beca got the grand tour of Chloe's room. It was pretty much how Beca expected. There were some posters on the walls of pop singers. There was pink everywhere; thankfully the walls were a normal shade of white. Stuffed animals were on every surface of the room, and Al Pacino the alpaca now had a place on Chloe's nightstand for their temporary visit. There were books of all sorts of genres. There were still some medical textbooks she had from before she changed majors. The curtains were white and pink and Beca could imagine Chloe opening her window as a teenager to let the wind blow them around.
She looked at Chloe who was shuffling under her green comforter that had pink flowers all over. She shuddered knowing she'd be sleeping under that too. But Chloe looked so perfect. She was the most loving person she'd ever met. How did she land someone like her? Beca couldn't help but wonder. And then her self-doubt started whispering at her how Beca was such a mess. Especially now. Chloe deserved someone stronger, someone who had more experience with relationships than Beca, someone who didn't still feel a measure of shame for being with a girl because of her father's words. Chloe deserved someone who was 100% proud of not only themselves but their relationship, too.
"Becs?" Chloe asked as she popped Beca's mental bubble. "If you're that disgusted by the pink flowers I can go get a different blanket."
"No." Beca chuckled as she slid in next to the redhead. "Sorry I just zoned out for a sec."
"You good?" Chloe turned to face her and put her hand on her cheek.
"Yeah." Beca flinched slightly as she brought her own hand up to gently remove Chloe's. "Just tired." She said as she smiled weakly. Chloe studied her for a moment, sensing something was up, but let it go for the time being. She wasn't going to push Beca right now. So she wrapped her arm around Beca when she turned over and felt Beca's body tighten up before somewhat relaxing, as if Beca was forcing herself to relax. Chloe tried not to read into that either as she closed her eyes.
The next day, Carl insisted on firing up his new grill that he got as a birthday present from all the kids. He got entirely too much food for just the family and Beca, but he didn't seem to notice or care. They had a choice of grilled chicken, steak, hamburgers, or brats. It was as if it was a July 4th party outside. Every time he came in with a fresh plate of grilled meat to hand to his wife he was like a kid on Christmas. Caroline indulged him, giving him praise as she automatically wrapped up some of the food to put in the freezer.
"We should get a grill for the bella house." Beca mused as she and Chloe ate their hamburgers with their feet in the pool.
"And who would use it?" Chloe chuckled.
"I could learn." Beca said defiantly.
"If we do that, I'll be sure to buy an extra fire extinguisher." Chloe shook her head and giggled as Beca splashed her.
When Chase and Chelsea got home they all decided to go for a swim with Carl and Caroline watching fondly from the shaded patio sipping their margaritas. It was Caroline's reward for putting up with her over-zealous grill master wannabe husband. But she loved him anyway.
Chase set up the volleyball net and they played a few rounds of water volleyball. Chase and Beca clearly being the ones immersing themselves in the competitive spirit while Chloe and Chelsea just played for fun and laughed whenever Beca or Chase would get mad, but try to hide it.
Throughout the day, Chloe would try to wrap an arm around Beca, hold her hand, touch her knee, or find some way to touch her throughout the day, and she couldn't help but notice Beca shying away from any sort of affection. If they were sitting on the couch, as soon as she touched her, Beca would excuse herself to the bathroom or kitchen. When she tried to wrap her arms around Beca from behind in the kitchen, Beca gave her a quick pat on the arm before wriggling out of her grasp. Chloe tried to explain it away that Beca just felt awkward being affectionate in front of her family.
Their second night, Beca tried to sneak out of bed when she thought Chloe was asleep. Chloe mumbled and reached out for her.
"Where are you going?" She asked groggily.
"Just wanted to go get some water." Beca whispered as she moved for the door.
"I'll come with you." Chloe stretched and started to move the covers off of her when Beca stopped her.
"No. Stay in bed. I'll be back. Go back to sleep." Beca gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before hurrying out the door. Chloe reluctantly let her go, but was getting more and more concerned at Beca's distant behavior.
Beca was looking in the fridge for a beer, hoping to take the edge off without Chloe's parents seeing her. She wasn't 21 yet after all. She was twisting off the top when the light came on and Mrs. Beale smiled at her from the entryway. Beca nearly dropped the bottle as she tried to hide it.
"Oh calm down." Mrs. Beale waved at her. "You wouldn't be the first underage kid I've caught drinking in this house." She opened the fridge and grabbed one for herself. She took a sip and frowned. "I really don't understand why Carl likes these so much."
"Sorry, Mrs. B. I didn't mean to be disrespectful." Beca set the bottle down on the island.
"Nonsense. One beer won't get you drunk. And you're safe in the house. Drink. Let's chat." Caroline pulled up one of the bar stools and motioned Beca to join her. Beca shook off her awkwardness as she joined Caroline at the counter.
"What's going on in that little noggin of yours that you needed to come get a beer at one in the morning?" Caroline asked as she took a small sip.
"Nothing." Beca shrugged and then felt the pressure from Caroline's stare. "I just...you are an amazing family. I feel so loved and welcomed. I just can't help but wish I had the same love from my own family. I feel like my past fu...screwed me up so much that I won't ever be what Chloe deserves."
"Sweetie, family is more than just blood and DNA. I see how happy you make my daughter, and happiness is all I really want for her. That is what she deserves. And I know it hurts that your father did and said what he did. Believe me, my husband has a few choice words he'd like to share with him. But we love you, Beca. I don't even hesitate to say that you're part of this family now. We will always be here for you."
"Thanks, Mrs. B."
"I hope one day you can call me mom." Caroline smiled with teary eyes. "Not to be pressuring or assuming." She quickly backtracked, wiping her eyes. Beca just smiled and nodded, completely unsure how to respond to that. It made her think all of a sudden just how close she and Chloe were now. Chloe walked by her side through the most intense moment of her life. Chloe's family saw her as one of their own. Chloe was it for her. And she suddenly felt terrified. Because she still didn't think she deserved Chloe. And she didn't know what would happen if and when Chloe realized it too. And Mrs. B didn't mean to be pressuring, but now Beca was stressing if they didn't work out.
"I should let you get back to bed." Beca smiled weakly as she finished off the last of her beer. "Thanks for the talk."
"Anytime, sweetie." Caroline gave her a warm smile before Beca hurried back up to bed and hopefully let sleep quiet her thoughts.
Chase and Beca were sitting in the living room, with a deck of playing cards in front of them, while Chelsea sprawled out on the couch behind Beca watching some reality show about supermodels or fashion. Chloe watched from the kitchen as Beca and Chase bickered with each other and laughed like they were actual siblings. Caroline looked in the direction of Chloe's gaze and took a break from preparing her salad that would go with the copious amounts of meat they had leftover for dinner.
"What's on your mind, Chloe-Bee?"
"What? Nothing?" The question seemed to jolt Chloe out of her thoughts.
"You're worried about her, I can tell." Caroline said with that smug mother look.
"Well, of course I am." Chloe rolled her eyes, trying to take away some of the smugness her mother was radiating. "I mean, she's been through a lot, this week alone. I'm just worried she's shutting me out."
"Chloe, she came with you to see your family. In my experience if someone is shutting their significant other out, they do not go spend time with their family."
"No, I know. It's just different." Chloe sighed, debating whether or not to discuss this with her mother. "She's just...she's not letting me be affectionate."
"You mean sex?" Caroline asked without a hint of reservation or awkwardness.
"Mom!" Chloe hissed, blushing violently. "No! I just mean...like...hand holding, simple touches."
"Well…" Caroline leaned her arms on the counter, seeming to ponder the statement. "She just came out to a homophobic father who immediately kicked her out of her childhood home. She lived her whole life being taught that how she feels is wrong and gross. Do you think she might just be struggling with some of those thoughts?"
"Yeah, I mean, of course. But she's never shied away from me in the past. That first night after we left her dad's she asked me to hold her and she just cried. It was terrible, but at least she let me be there. Now, I can hardly even reach out to her without her flinching away."
"I think this week brought up a lot of old wounds for the girl. I can't imagine coping with everything she's had to and she's only just barely out of being a teenager. Give her a little time and space. And talk to her. Your feelings matter too, Chloe. Let her know that you're worried and you just want to be there for her."
"I don't want to be an overbearing girlfriend." Chloe sighed. "I want to ask her every five minutes if she's okay or if I can do anything and I can't do that. I don't want to drive her crazy or make her shut down."
"Just have a chat with her, Chloe. Maybe when you two get back to the bella house. A rational, free of judgement conversation works wonders in relationships. How do you think me and your father lasted so long?"
"Oh, I don't know, something dumb like true love." Chloe said sarcastically as she stuck out her tongue.
"True love is only part of it. Real love and real relationships take work. That doesn't mean they have any less love." Caroline put a hand on Chloe's arm. "You two have a lot of love, any fool with eyes can see that. Its time to add a little work to the mix."
After a long, and slightly more dramatic goodbye than Chloe deemed necessary, Beca and Chloe had left the Beale's after a relaxing three days. They were headed back to the bella house to get back to real life. Chloe had sent out a group text, sans Beca, letting everyone know the basics of what went down and to just be extra kind to Beca and maybe give her some space.
When they arrived home that Sunday afternoon, Chloe was surprised to find the house empty. She knew most of them had gotten back the previous day. And while the bellas were typically kind and thoughtful sisters when push came to shove, Chloe didn't expect them to give Beca this much space.
So they went into the kitchen, just dropping their bags by the door. Beca took a seat at the counter while Chloe pulled out a couple waters for them. She had thought about talking in the car, but decided against it since there was no escape route. And she didn't know when everyone would be home, so she took this as her opportunity.
"Everything okay, Becs?"
"Mhm." Beca nodded, keeping her eyes down.
"Look, I'll just come out and say it." Chloe took a deep breath as Beca looked up with worry in her eyes. "I feel like you're trying to push me away. And if you just need a little space, that's fine. But everytime I touch you or get close to you its like you shrink away. I'm worried about you, but I don't want to smother you. And just...please tell me if I did something wrong."
"You didn't do anything wrong." Beca said quietly, moving her gaze away from Chloe again. There was a tense silence and a hundred different scenarios flocked to Chloe's mind, wondering where Beca was going with this. It felt like an eternity until Beca spoke again.
"I've spent my whole life thinking something's wrong with me." Beca wrapped her hands around her water bottle. "And that doesn't just go away overnight. Those feelings came crashing back down on me this week. And I love being with you and I love when you touch me. And not just in a sexual way, I like when you pat me on the knee, hold my hand, or just give my shoulder a squeeze when you're passing by. And that's why its hard."
"What's hard?" Chloe asked, feeling more confused now than five minutes ago.
"You shouldn't be with me." Beca blurted out.
"W-what?" Chloe shook her head, utterly confused now.
"I'm not good enough for you. Or your family. You deserve someone who doesn't have an ounce of shame about being in a relationship with you. Your family deserves someone who isn't the least bit ashamed of being in a relationship with their daughter or sister. And I'm not ashamed of you, Chloe, but there's still a part of me in the back dark part of my head telling me that I'm wrong and what I'm doing is wrong. That's not fair to you. We're in our early twenties, Chloe. You shouldn't waste them with a basketcase like me. You shouldn't waste your time trying to help a struggling, recently out, college girl find herself. I'm letting you off the hook. So don't feel guilty. Be with someone who is deserving of you." Beca got out her speech without once making eye contact. But Chloe stared hard at Beca's forehead.
"Are you actually insane?" She asked when Beca still didn't look up. "I wouldn't waste my time on someone I didn't think was worth it. And I hate to break it to you, Beca." Chloe said firmly, almost agitated. "But you're not really in charge of deciding what I deserve. I think we can both agree that I deserve to be happy and loved. And you, Beca Mitchell, make me happy. And you make me feel loved. I can't predict the future and say we'll be together forever. But right now? I can't conjure up a person in my mind thatI would rather be with. I want to be with you. Your flaws, your mistakes, your past, your everything. I want you, Beca. No one else." Chloe stroked Beca's cheek, trying to will the girl to believe her.
"I just…" Beca bit back her smile at Chloe's words. "I hear his voice. Everytime I touch you or kiss you or think about it. I hear him condemning me. I feel guilty. And its not fair to you to-"
"Then be louder." Chloe interrupted what she was sure was going to be another monolog from Beca about how Chloe shouldn't be with her.
"What?" Beca peeked up, giving Chloe a quizzical look.
"Be. Louder." Chloe cupped Beca's face in her hands. "Love is louder than hate. It has to be. And I love you. And our crazy band of bellas love you. And that is a lot of love."
"And a lot of loudness." Beca smirked.
"Exactly." Chloe grinned. "Let their voices and love be louder than your dad's voice and his hate."
"I love you too. And all the bellas." Beca whispered. "Well...usually." She winked.
"I'm going to kiss you now, okay?" Chloe smiled back. "And I expect you to kiss me back."
"Way to take the romance out of it, Beale." Beca looked at Chloe playfully. And Chloe shook her head with a smile as she leaned in. Her lips gently brushed against Beca's. And Beca adjusted herself in the chair, while Chloe kept her hands on Beca's face, and tilted her head for a better, more comfortable angle. It was a chaste kiss, but held so much emotion and meaning. Chloe leaned back, watching as Beca's eyes slowly reopened. And that look gave Chloe all the confidence she needed to know they would be okay. Because their love was going to be louder.
Beca retired to her room, politely asking for some time by herself with her music. It had been a week since she last used her equipment and she missed it terribly. She left with a promise to make at least a short appearance at dinner when the bellas got home. Chloe was unpacking all of her things when she wondered why the bellas were still not home.
As if reading her thoughts, Fat Amy, Flo, Lilly and Emily boisterously entered the house carrying bags. Lilly being the only silent one. Flo was holding two enormous bottles of vodka almost as tall as her.
"Hey, ginger. We just got back from getting some items for 'Operation: Cheer Up Beca with an Insane amount of food and alcohol.' I got ingredients to make my world famous lasagna that shortstack loves so much. And of course the two biggest bottles of alcohol we could find. Although Emily almost ruined it by looking so nervous in the liquor store." Fat Amy shot Emily a look while the younger girl just rolled her eyes and started unpacking groceries.
"That's sweet of you, Amy." Chloe smiled as she saw the women start working together to make the lasagna. "Um...what are these?" She asked as she pulled out a package of darts.
"Oh, those are just in case we get in the violent mood later. We can hang up a picture of Beca's dad and play darts. Or we can drive up to Beca's padre's house and throw them at his car tires." Flo explained proudly.
"I'm just going to put these away…" Chloe gave a concerned glance towards Flo as she put the darts in a drawer. Lilly appeared beside her and slowly pulled the darts out giving Chloe a blank stare. Chloe just looked back, mildly concerned, but let Lilly stalk off with the darts.
"Alright, bitches!" Stacie then came bursting through the door with the rest of the bellas behind her, carrying their own grocery bags. "We got supplies!"
"What did you guys get?" Fat Amy looked up, worried that her gesture was going to be overshadowed.
"We got…" Stacie set her bags on the counter. "8 kinds of ice cream. No, Amy you may not claim them all. But yes, you can have the rocky road. Gummy worms. 4 types of hot cheetos."
"There's more than one kind?" Chloe asked in shock. Stacie motioned at Aubrey holding the bag.
"We have flamin hot, hot cheetos with lime, hot cheeto puffs, and hot cheetos extra hot." Aubrey took out the chip bags one by one. Chloe was smiling ear to ear.
"We have Beca's favorite wine." Jessica and Ashley pulled out the wine packs. "Because she likes that they're like the adult version of juice pouches." Ashley chuckled as she held one up.
"Beca's favorite cereal." CR joined in holding up a box of lucky charms in one hand and rice krispies in the other. "With regular milk, chocolate, AND strawberry depending on her mood."
Chloe almost burst into tears as she watched the bellas unload all the Beca-themed snacks in the kitchen. She never felt so much love for and from people who weren't her family. And she couldn't wait to tell Beca about it all. She really couldn't wait to see what would hopefully be a big grin appear on Beca's face when she realized that her bella sisters did all this just to cheer her up.
"How's she doing?" Aubrey asked as she handed Stacie the different tubs of ice cream to put in the freezer.
"Okay, I think." Chloe nodded. "She kinda tried to break up with me." Suddenly all bellas froze and spun to glare at Chloe in horror.
"She didn't! She didn't." Chloe quickly explained. "I shut her down real quick. I think she was just insecure and said some crap about not being good enough for me. But I wouldn't listen to it."
"Jeez." Stacie placed a hand over her chest. "Don't scare us like that, Beale."
"For fuck's sake, I got emotional whiplash." Aubrey exhaled as she resumed handing Stacie the ice cream.
"Sorry." Chloe couldn't help but giggle a little bit.
"So, how terrible was it?" Amy asked. "Did he yell and curse her out for being into the ladies?"
"No, he never cursed. He yelled once. It was all very...weird." Chloe sighed. "He kept saying he wanted to help her. He wasn't even angry, he was sad. He even tried to go to his camp."
"What camp?" Aubrey asked, feeling like she had an inside knowledge of many camps on the east coast.
"This one." Chloe retrieved the crumpled up flyer from her suitcase and dropped it on the counter. The bellas all took turns studying the flyer with equally revolted faces.
"That's really fucked up." Stacie looked at the flyer in disgust.
"How do they live themselves?" Aubrey shook her head.
"My dad tried getting me to go to one of those too. Those poor kids." CR said sadly.
"I say we burn the place to the ground!" Flo raised her fist as if she was leading a riot.
"I know how we could do it without leaving behind any evidence." Lilly suggested quietly.
"Okay, guys, we're getting off track." Chloe raised her hands to calm everyone down before they legitimately started thinking about setting fire to a camp. "So what is the plan for tonight and cheering her up?" Chloe asked, having spent enough time reliving the ordeal with Beca's dad, she just wanted to have a fun night.
"We'll leave it up to you." Aubrey shrugged. "But obviously we have enough food here to feed an army. I say once Amy's lasagna is ready you drag her little moody ass down here to eat herself into a coma and have some forced love thrown on her."
"We could have a Friends marathon. Since she hates movies, but she loves that show." Emily suggested.
"She's such a Chandler." Stacie agreed as she opened one of the wine pouches. Chloe giggled, knowing Stacie was right. Although, Aubrey was more like Monica, and it thoroughly creeped her out to imagine Beca and Aubrey together.
"She's working on some mixes right now. But I'll go up and ask her later. The lasagna might be ready by then and I'm sure she'll be hungry." Chloe sighed as she looked at all the bellas again. "You guys are amazing. I love you guys so much." She felt herself get choked up as she thought about how the bellas dropped everything just to help Beca. 'Awws' were scattered around the kitchen as all the bellas gathered around Chloe for a group hug.
"We love you too." Amy rested her cheek against CR's back as she stretched her hands around as far as they would reach. She gave the group hug a loving pat before shoeing everyone out of the kitchen. "Now you bitches get out while I work my magic."
"Hey." Chloe peeked in the doorway of Beca's room. "Dinner's almost ready if you're hungry."
"Dude, I am starving." Beca whined as she held her stomach that started rumbling.
"Lucky for you, Amy's lasagna should be ready any minute now." Chloe beamed as she saw Beca's eyes sparkle with excitement.
"Amy made her lasagna? Yes!" She clenched her fist in victory.
"The bellas bought a bunch of your favorite foods and of course alcohol. And suggested a Friends marathon if you're up for it." She paused when Beca didn't respond. "Or we could just go down and eat and then come back up alone if you're still feeling down?"
"No. No." Beca shook her head. "That sounds. It sounds…" Her eyes darted around trying to find the right words. "It sounds kinda awesome. I kinda need the people who love me close by right now, ya know?"
"Totes." Chloe nodded quickly. "They're going to be thrilled that you're up for it. I'm not going to lie, I teared up a little when they came home with all their supplies to cheer you up. We're so lucky to have the bellas as a second family. No matter how crazy they can be."
"Yeah." Beca smiled. "They're amazing. Its crazy to think they'd drop everything and do all that stuff for me."
"Well they love you." Chloe shrugged. "They didn't even think twice." Then a knock came at the door and Aubrey stepped inside.
"Hey, Chloe, do you think I could have a minute alone with Beca?"
"You're not trying to steal her away from me are you?" Chloe gave Aubrey a playful scowl as she stood from the bed.
"God, no." Aubrey scoffed. "Just wanted to talk for a minute before the food's ready."
"Sure, I'll just be downstairs." Chloe glanced back at a confused Beca before shutting the door behind her. There was a bit of awkward silence as Aubrey stood by the door and Beca shifted uncomfortably in her bed.
"Beca, I just…" Aubrey cautiously stepped closer. "I know I took Chloe's side on everything and wasn't exactly fair to you recently. I really had no idea your family was so...grossly homophobic. And I'm so sorry you had to go through that growing up and especially what you went through with your dad. No kid should be treated like that by their friends and especially family." She took a seat beside Beca and looked at her with such sympathy. "You deserve so much better. You're an amazing person. Even if I don't always act like it or show it, you are so important to me. And I love you like you're a sister. And I am SO happy that you're with Chloe. You treat her so well and you make her so happy."
"I'm the lucky one." Beca huffed. "I can't believe she wants to be with me."
"Stop that." Aubrey turned to give Beca a fierce glare. "You are amazing. And Chloe freaking loves you. If your dad doesn't understand that then….fuck him. Because you, Beca Mitchell, are an amazing person. And I'm sorry I didn't make it more clear that I felt that way. But Chloe absolutely deserves you. She is beyond lucky to be with someone who loves her as much as you do. And if your dickhead of a dad can't accept that, then it is his loss. He is not only losing out on getting to know an amazing and talented redhead but he is missing out on a relationship with an astounding, beautiful, loving, caring, and all the other great adjectives of a daughter. But do. Not. Let him take away your joy. Do not let him make you feel like you are less than what you are, Beca. Because you are one of my favorite people on this planet. And you are a gift to this world. And if he doesn't accept you for who you are then it is his fucking loss for not getting to be in your life. And I'm not even mad at him for being an asshole homophobe. I feel sorry for him! Because he doesn't get the absolutely insane pleasure of getting to have you AND Chloe in his life. He is an idiot who's life will never be as good as it could be. You are amazing together and even if he's your dad you don't need him. You have Chloe's family who absolutely loves you. And you have the bellas. You have me. We love you more than you could possibly know." Aubrey finished her speech and she realized she was so passionate about it that she was nearly out of breath.
"Aubrey…" Beca blinked away a tear as she looked at the blonde not knowing what to say. "Thank you." She sniffed as she let a tear fall down her cheek.
"I have issues with my dad, too. Nothing like what you're going through. But he's hard on me. He expects perfection, and I feel like I let him down a lot. But he once gave me one of his medals. He has a lot, by the way. And he told me that even though he's hard on me and has hurt my feelings time and again, that he loves me and will always be proud that I'm his daughter. And I know if I were to pursue a relationship with a girl, he would still support me. And it kills me you don't have that. So I want to give this to you." Aubrey reached into her pocket and pulled out a small silver medal. "I know I'm hard on you and hurt you more than I'd like to admit. But you are family. So I want you to keep this and know that you have people who love you and will always support you. Even if your blood family doesn't."
Beca's body leaned toward Aubrey and Aubrey wrapped her in a hug. "Wow...this...this means a lot, Aubrey." She twirled the little medal around in her hand. "I love you guys too." Beca wrapped her arm around Aubrey's waist, feeling overwhelmed.
"Good." Aubrey sniffed herself as she quickly swiped away a tear. "We are your family, Beca. And we will always love you. I'm sure we still have a few fights left in us, but we will always make up. And we will always be family. And if your blood family can't be smart enough to love you for all of you, then we will." Aubrey hugged Beca as tightly as she could.
"You're amazing yourself you know?" Beca said after the longest hug the two had ever shared.
"Of course I do." Aubrey smirked proudly. "And I hope one day you can say the same thing about yourself."
"Love you, Aubrey Posen." Beca rested her head on Aubrey's shoulder.
"Love you too, Beca Mitchell." Aubrey tilted her head to rest on Beca's for a moment. "Now you're going to have to prepare yourself for a whole night of Bella bonding. I'm not letting you out of this one."
"Wouldn't have it any other way." Beca chuckled as she sat back up and rubbed her eyes, hoping it didn't look like she'd been crying.
After dinner and a Friends marathon that included a drinking game, the bellas were passed out all over the living room. Jessica and Ashley had retrieved sleeping bags and were curled up on the floor. Emily had fallen asleep with her back against the couch which would surely lead to a sore neck in the morning. Fat Amy was sprawled out on the loveseat. Flo was curled up on a bean bag sleeping like a cat. Lilly was nowhere to be found. Stacie and Aubrey were on the couch with Beca and Chloe. Aubrey sleeping peacefully with her head on Stacie's shoulder and Stacie with her arm loosely draped over Aubrey. And Chloe had fallen asleep wrapped around Beca like a koala. Beca slowly blinked as she woke up temporarily. She clicked her tongue, regretting not brushing her teeth, tasting like stale alcohol and junk food. She looked around at the scene before her. She couldn't help but smile at how all the bellas literally and figuratively wrapped her up in love that night. She had never felt like she belonged anywhere as much as she did in that moment surrounded by a bunch of quirky and amazing girls. She took a deep breath as she closed her eyes again before placing a kiss on Chloe's head.
Love was louder that night. So much louder that it drowned out all the hateful thoughts Beca had swirling in her mind the past few days. And as she drifted off again resting her head against Chloe's, she knew as long as she had this group of bellas, love would always be louder.