Hello!
English is still not my first language and I still don't own Carmilla, neither the novel, nor the webseries. However I do own this fanfic. It was initially posted on under the username HanaMiu1, I deleted it, moved to Ao3, posted it again and now I edited it. Yay!
If you catch any typo, please let me know! I may have improved but my proofreading skills still suck.
"Hey, Carm"
Laura and Carmilla are sitting on the ground, both looking into the big shadows around them, thinking about everything that happened. They're locked inside the Library's basement (don't ask either of them how they got there, they have no idea), waiting for LaF to come back from their quest for wifi signal.
"Hm?" Carmilla's eyes are somewhere in front of her but Laura knows she has her attention.
"I just wanna know…" Laura starts, stops, takes a deep breath and tries to continue. What if Carmilla doesn't want to talk about it? "You don't have to answer if you don't want to… It's just out of curiosity. "
"Just tell me, Cupcake."
"Why don't you ever talk about your family? I mean, your Karnstein family." Laura says faster than she expected. She adventures herself to look at Carmilla's face and she recognizes the pain in her brown eyes.
"I don't really like to talk about them. I hardly remember any of their faces so…" If Laura didn't know Carmilla she would have said the vampire didn't give a shit. But Laura did know Carmilla, and she knew she was sad.
"It was a better life back then?" Laura asks, choosing to look up front too. She debates herself for a couple of seconds before putting her hand on top of Carmilla's.
"Well…" Carmilla starts as she moves her hand, lacing their fingers together. "I was a wealthy girl, I had everything I could desire. There was a war happening at some point, but even that wasn't something I truly cared about, I wasn't living it. Wealthy people had a better life certainly."
"Did you have any friends?" Laura asks rubbing Carmilla's hand with her thumb.
"Yeah, I had two friends. At that time, Cupcake, making friends was really difficult. Girls were jealous of everything and they were only interested in balls, getting married to a wealthy man and having children. And my friends and I? Well, we didn't want that. We were a little bit more... cultural. We wanted to travel around the world. We made plans every single time we saw each other and even though they were never accomplished, we liked to imagine how life was outside Styria" Carmilla's smile was enough to make Laura tear up a little bit.
"They sound like they were fun people" Laura says smiling close-mouthed at her.
"They were… And they grew old, they married and they had children, just like any other. Still, they traveled a lot, not together but with their families. Always returning to Styria."
"Did you have any siblings?" Laura asked, moving a little bit closer to the vampire.
"What is this, some kind of interview?" Carmilla jokes and rolls her eyes at Laura's 'humor me' face. "Yeah, I had an older sister and a younger one. Neither of them attended to the ball I was murdered at." Carmilla answers with the same 'boring History lesson' tone she had when she told Laura the first time.
"How was that?" Laura asks, curious. "Were you dancing when that happened? It was someone who attended to the ball?"
Carmilla chuckles sadly. "No." She's quiet for a long time, as if she were lost in thoughts. Laura is getting the idea that Carmilla isn't going to say anything else when she speaks again. "It was an engagement ball. The eldest daughter of a family who had a good relationship with mine had invited me because I was of the same age as her. My mother forced me to go, claiming that I needed to find a husband." Carmilla says with a deep voice.
"I thought you died engaged to the Baron's ancestor." Laura comments confused, that was what he had said, right?
"Do you still believe in his lies?" Carmilla asks her with a smirk and Laura feels uncomfortable. "No. I wasn't engaged to him, thankfully. He was in love with me and he asked for my hand a lot of times, but his fortune wasn't something to brag on so my father always said no to him," Carmilla continues talking. "That didn't stop him, though, he still managed to lock me down in a basement when I was a newborn."
Laura thinks that that was a sick kind of "love". A man having a girl locked, even if she had recently become a vampire, just because he could watch the beauty that wasn't going to get old, like she was some kind of exposition in a museum. Laura feels a shiver run down her spine.
"Anyway," Carmilla continues. "I remember I went for some air through the front door. The house had a garden at the front, where the carriages came, and I was tired of dancing with the same boys I knew my whole life. I didn't hear anyone coming behind me, but someone stuck a knife to my back while I was looking at the stars. I didn't scream or did anything to stop the man who was attacking me. All I did was look at his face while I was dying."
Laura hugs her while a few tears run down her cheeks. She knew Carmilla wasn't going to cry, and she didn't know if she ever did because of her death. Because of someone taking her life away from her. But Laura was willing to cry for her, because the pain she had in her chest wasn't going to go if she didn't. It hurt too much.
"I never knew who found my body. But when I was awaken I was insinde the Mausoleum of the Karnstein family, and Mother was there. She explained that I wasn't going to return to my family because she was my family now. And that to avenge my death she had for me the man who killed me. And I was hungry." Carmilla pauses for a moment, feeling Laura's arms go soft against her body. "I will never forget the scared look he had in his eyes when I left my coffin and I pounced on him. I killed him but all I could think of was that my hunger was gone. And that I had revenge… However, after that, I did think of my family, of my little sister." Carmilla says, putting her hands on the ground and letting her body stretch the tiredness.
"Did you know what happened to them? To your sisters, and your mother and father?" Laura's willing to let the 'I killed him' part go just because her right senses were telling her that he had it coming.
"My mother and father grew old and died, after my death they took special care of my little sister, and because of that she grew up to be a wonderful woman, with wonderful kids, I knew she named one of her daughters after me. When she was dying I came to visit her," Laura feels like an intruder watching Carmilla's nostalgic smile. "She said to me I knew you were alive, Sestra. I knew it. She always liked Czech better than German, she was like that." One little tear comes out from one of her eyes and Laura quickly whipes it away. "My older sister died at birth of her second son, she was sick and she didn't make it, but her boys were healthy and I know that if she were alive, they would had made her so proud."
"It's nice to know she didn't forget you." Laura says with a smile.
"Yeah… I guess." Carmilla says, her eyes were soft in a way Laura had never seen. Laura knew that even after all this time, Carmilla still missed her family deeply. Watching them grow old and die had to make her realize that she wasn't going to be able to do that with them.
And wow, isn't that the most fucked up realization of them all? Unwilling to break any contact she has with Carmilla, Laura adjusts herself to a position where her back and her butt don't hurt so much. She's not quite sure when she falls asleep, but it had to be in between Carmilla playing with her hair and LaFontaine coming back. They had to figure out a way of fixing everything, together. This situation just wasn't fair to any of them.
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