5-16-20

For One Man

"I can only imagine how scathing a betrayal this must be for you, Arthur. Your own manservant- a boy you've known for years, someone you've trusted- a sorcerer."

Arthur sat frozen behind his desk, mind wandering back to Merlin in the cells even as his uncle spoke.

"Your sentence must be swift. Harsh. You cannot allow sentiment to prevent you from showing the people what becomes of Camelot's traitors."

He'd have given his kingdom up for Merlin. His life, even. He'd have sacrificed everything for a man who'd lied to him all along.

"I'm sure that in time, the people will come to respect you as they did Uther. But you must not hesitate to take firm, concise action."

Arthur loved him, even now. His confusion was only matched by his heartbreak. He'd never forget the terror and guilt in Merlin's tearful eyes as Leon and Perceival dragged him away.

"I did it for you, Arthur," he'd cried. How could that be true?

"Arthur?"

The king met his uncle's eyes. While Agravaine expressed sympathy, he certainly didn't understand Arthur's pain. And how could he when he didn't know the extent of Arthur and Merlin's relationship?

"I just don't see it," Arthur said numbly. "Merlin's the most loyal friend I have."

"He's not your friend, Arthur, and clearly, he never was."

"No," Arthur insisted, leaning forward with his elbows on the desk and his fingers interlocked. "He was. He's shown me more loyalty than any of my knights- certainly beyond the duty of a servant."

Agravaine snorted. "He's fooled you quite well then, my lord."

"I know him. Better than I know myself."

His uncle frowned at this admission, but Arthur couldn't bring himself to worry about any suspicion his words might produce.

"Merlin would not betray me."

Agravaine placed his palms on the desk, leaning close. "You have the proof yourself, sire. As much as you may not want to believe it, you know what he did."

Arthur clenched his jaw. "What if magic itself is not a source of evil?"

Agravaine narrowed his eyes. "You speak treason yourself, sire."

"Are our beliefs so fragile that they cannot stand to be questioned?"

"Your father spent his entire life fighting the evils of sorcery. Would you undo all his work on a whim? For the sake of a serving boy?"

"I would for a friend, if my father was wrong to set himself against the old religion."

Agravaine turned away with a scoff, placing his hands on his hips. "You are young, Arthur. You don't know what the world was like when sorcerers went unchecked."

"Then we will check them. Evil doings will be punished, that much will not change. ...But I do not believe evil exists in Merlin's heart."

"How can you know another man's heart?" Agravaine asked, facing him.

Arthur's eyes faltered. The truth was something he could not admit. He stood. "I must speak with him."

He swept past his uncle, reaching the door before Agravaine stopped him with a question.

"You would change the laws of the kingdom for one man?"

Arthur remembered what Morgause had shown him years ago. The rage that had driven him to nearly murder his father- Merlin desperately telling him that it had all been a lie.

He'd protected Uther to protect Arthur, and in doing so had denied a future in which he'd have been safe.

Arthur looked over his shoulder. "This law was made to alleviate the guilt of one man. If I change it, my motivation will not be so selfish, I assure you."

Gwaine was at the cell when Arthur arrived. He fixed a glare on the king, but it was Merlin's expression that hurt Arthur. He harbored no resentment- only sorrow.

Arthur waved over the guard on duty. "Open it."

The man hesitated. "Sire-"

"I said 'open it.'"

As the guard complied, Gwaine gave Merlin a nod. "I'll be back, Merlin."

He bumped the king's shoulder with his own as he walked past, a bold act of defiance that Arthur ignored. Gwaine had always cared for Merlin more than most. Arthur had even been jealous of their friendship at one point.

That was before the first time everything had changed.

Arthur walked into the cell, holding the door open behind him. "Leave us," he commanded. The guard complied without question this time.

Merlin was frowning at him, confused, and still a little afraid. Arthur took his arm gently, taking a seat on the cot and prompting Merlin to follow suit. The king looked aside to ensure that the man had gone before turning to his lover.

"Have they hurt you?"

Merlin shook his head vigorously.

Arthur took a deep breath, thumb brushing over Merlin's arm still in his grasp. "What did you mean back there?" he asked quietly.

"What?"

"You said that you did it for me." He frowned, studying Merlin's face for any trace of a lie. "Merlin, what does that mean?"

Merlin gave a nod, eyes lowering in thought. "I was born with magic, Arthur. But I had no purpose for it until I met you. I was told… the dragon told me that I was meant to protect you. That you'd be the greatest king the world has ever known if I was there to guide you and keep you safe."

"The dragon? The dragon who attacked Camelot?"

Merlin sighed. "He wanted revenge on your father. He was imprisoned for twenty years, but he believed in the world you will bring."

"He tried to kill me."

Merlin sighed. "I'm sorry."

Arthur grimaced. "You're sorry? Merlin…"

Merlin's eyes were glimmering with tears once more when he met Arthur's gaze. "I let him out. I didn't know what he was going to do, Arthur, I swear."

Arthur leaned back, adjusting to all that had changed for him in a matter of hours. "How do you know he was telling the truth, then?"

In spite of his situation, Merlin was nothing but confident in what he said next. "Because of what I've seen in you. Because of the man you've become. If everything else is wrong, Arthur, I know that it is my destiny to serve you."

As hard as Arthur could try to judge Merlin with the indifference a king perhaps should, he found himself overwhelmed by what he knew was the truth.

"You've been by my side through-" Arthur paused when his voice broke. "...Through so much, Merlin. You've watched me bring your people to my father's judgement. You've risked your own life just by staying here."

Even as tears dripped down his face, Merlin's stare was firm. "I would suffer any fate if it means I won't be parted from you."

Arthur released his arm, lacing his fingers together as he leaned forward. With a guard just around the corner, he feared what he might do if he continued to hold Merlin.

"You lied to me," he stated.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to apologize." Arthur studied him once more, but Merlin only looked confused. "I just… want to understand…"

"You'd have sent me away," Merlin answered. "Maybe I should have trusted you with the truth, but…" His tone grew distant with thought. "It never felt the right time. And I didn't want to put you in that position."

"I know why you had to lie. I just don't know how I never realized. All those times you would go missing- I would always assume you were at the tavern-"

Merlin's chuckle was out of place, but not unwelcome. "That was Gaius' doing."

Arthur nodded, thinking back to Merlin's past absences. One in particular stood out to him. "When my father died… Merlin, did you know that man?"

Merlin pressed his lips together, eyebrows tensing in what could only be regret. After a moment of silence, he boldly took Arthur's hand into his own, and the king allowed it, though not without another glance outside the cell.

"What is it?" he asked, concerned to see Merlin's chest heave with repressed sobs.

Merlin squeezed his hand like his life depended on it. "Arthur," he whispered hoarsely, "I want you to know that I did everything I could to save your father."

Arthur felt his face go slack as the words sank in. "It was you," he breathed.

Merlin nodded miserably. "Someone placed a pendant around his neck that reversed my healing spell."

"...You would have saved the life of a man who would've seen you killed if he'd known who you were."

"He was your father, Arthur." Merlin sniffed. "I couldn't bear to watch you grieve him."

Arthur didn't check this time before taking Merlin into his arms, supporting the other's quaking body. "...I can't make exceptions to the law, Merlin."

A hiccup preceded Merlin's reply. "I know."

"I can't be seen treating you any differently from another sorcerer."

Merlin hid his face against Arthur's shoulder. "I know," he mumbled.

"But I can change the laws of the kingdom."

Merlin drew away slowly, searching Arthur's eyes. "What?"

Arthur raised a hand to his face, brushing the tears away as he'd longed to since he walked in. "A just king would not punish those who serve him best. Those who've proven themselves more loyal than all others. My father was wrong to enact this law. It shouldn't have taken knowing you for me to realize it, but- Merlin, I do realize it now."

Merlin looked like he wanted to smile and couldn't remember how. He threw himself at Arthur, holding him so tight that the king struggled to breathe. Arthur couldn't help but to smile.

"It won't be easy," he said. "There are many who will oppose my decision."

"Your uncle won't be happy," Merlin pointed out.

"He'll see. They'll all see. Everyone will know how much you've done for me. For Camelot. Will you help me do this, Merlin?"

A laugh escaped Merlin. "I was born to, Arthur. Thank you."

Arthur shook his head. "I should be thanking you. When you're a member of the court, I won't be forced to put up with such a useless servant."

Merlin pulled back in disbelief. "Me?"

"In time," Arthur amended, and held Merlin's chin. "All in time, my love. If you're willing."

Merlin smiled. "Nothing would make me happier, Arthur."

Arthur reluctantly drew his hand away, rising to his feet. "Will you be alright here until tomorrow?"

"Of course." Merlin stood, swiping his tears away.

Arthur couldn't stop himself from leaning in to lay a kiss on Merlin's lips. "I'll announce my decision to the court tomorrow."

When he turned around, a jolt of fear went through him at the form of a man standing a few feet away. He relaxed a little as he realized who it was.

"What did you hear?"

A grin stretched Gwaine's lips. "It's what I saw that interests me," he teased.

Arthur turned to Merlin. The sorcerer scratched the back of his head nervously, but looked pleased with himself all the same.

Arthur walked over to stand close enough to the knight to imply a threat. "I know silence is not your strong suit, but if you tell anyone-"

Gwaine held up a hand. "The last thing I want is for any harm to come to Merlin. I'm just glad you've come to your senses." He turned his grin to Merlin. "At least now I know why you turned me down."

Arthur turned to Merlin, who seemed to be struggling for a reply.

"Look- that was before we were… you know- and I didn't even-"

Gwaine chuckled. "He's cute when he's flustered, isn't he?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "See that he's fed properly, will you?"

Gwaine gave a nod. "Of course, my lord."

"Gwaine, will you tell Gaius?" Merlin asked. "I don't want him to have to worry."

"Oh, tell him about that or about this?" Gwaine pointed between the sorcerer and the king.

Merlin snorted. When Arthur began to walk away, Merlin called after him.

There was still some worry in Merlin's eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Arthur smiled. "You will. I promise."