Innocentheathy, thank you for the add! Always glad to know that another person is enjoying the story enough to follow it! windbreaking, thank you for the review. They are always appreciated since most of us writers like to know what our readers are thinking. Helps us to move the story along when we know that our stories are enjoyed even when they go off the deep end at times. And, yes, thank the Kami for such a logical, abet cold, thinker like Sesshomaru. Inuyasha would have gone off half cocked because even though Sango and Miroku can knock some sense into him they would have to confront him at his most pissed off form and neither of them are strong enough for that. As for her suicide attempt. It didn't start out that way, more of a mistake when not looking where she was going, which has happened to me when I'm lost in thought. I forget where I am or if I am walking, I don't pay enough attention and run into a door jam or the door itself. lol. Again, thanks for the review and I hope that you are enjoying the story.

Kagome sighed as she laid back on the cold hard ground of the cave she had found days ago after her little trip down the side of a cliff. Her stomach grumbled at her and she found a smile grace her lips for a second before resting her hands on the still flat plane of her stomach. It grumbled again and while she knew it wasn't the sound that she found so amusing at this moment, but rather the thought that her child was telling her that it was hungry. Thankful that it was still there when after climbing down from the slanted side of the cliff she had found her stomach cramping in the worst way and while that pain had brought tears to her eyes it was the blood that had stained her legs that had freaked her out even more. Sure, she still had doubts about bringing a child conceived from rape, and that was what it was in her mind now, she still wanted the small life in her stomach to live. It was weird really, finding that even though the one who had impregnated wasn't at all what you wanted, hell, she hated that it was possible that Naraku had done it, but she wanted this child. Fear had driven her on to find help, well, some kind of help to figure out what was going on. Unfortunately for her she found that not only was there no town or village anywhere near where she was, but that her body wasn't happy with all the movement so she sat down, her back laying against a lone tree in the middle of nowhere.

Hell, with how she looked right now in her bedraggled clothing from her era she was probably the last person to be given help. At least that was what she thought, but she knew a few people in this time that would help her and most of them were in her group, the group that she had left behind in that moment her body, heart, and mind had warred within itself. It had been too much for her to bear and in that moment she understood what her powers had done. They had removed her from that place where her soul was becoming tainted with all the information and all the emotions that had swirled in her like a tornado. It had been a defensive reaction to the turmoil in her body and while she knew it had been to help her she felt that it had also caused a problem and she had no answer to this problem. She hadn't wanted to be away from her friends...from Inuyasha... Had she? Bringing herself back to the present she stood up, groaning at the pain from sleeping on the cold hard ground of the cave, but after a slight stretch she made her way out of the cave to start another day of seeking shelter even if her body didn't like it. First though, she had to find food to eat since she hadn't managed to eat much in the last few days.

She wasn't starving, but she wasn't full either. Having been on this side for so long she had learned a few things from her friends to survive when her goodies from her time had run out. She knew what berries were safe to eat and how to fish, though she wasn't very good at that part she still managed to snag a few small fish in the last few days since the cave was close to a small water source, but she knew she would need more, especially now that her body was home to another life. Finding some of the berries that were safe to eat, she ate what she could before turning to head back to the cave, only to stop when someone called out her name and while she knew for certain that it wasn't anyone in her group she could also tell that it wasn't anyone out to do her harm either.

"Kagome!" the male voice calls again, growing closer to where she was she could finally see who was trying to get her attention and a smile broke out at the male's appearance. He was coming from the right of her, opposite to where she had just been eating her berries, and his smile was full as he waved both his arms in greeting.

"Hojo," she said, questioning her good fortune in the last few days to find someone who would help her, though like his descendant he had a crush on her and while that might make her a little unsure of his intention to help her she still was glad. She needed to get back to her group or find a way to get to Naraku so she could deal him some punishment. She would rather be with her group though, even in the situation that she was in she still would rather be by their side. It would be hard to be so close to them, but other than the thought that they may hate her for her defilement she missed them. It was so weird to be out on her own and while she was stronger than she had been in the beginning she had never been alone...not here and not at home and while she also yearned to be home she knew that she loved this era more than her own and would never feel right leaving it behind. Even if that was what would happen in the end, and hopefully it wouldn't, she didn't think it would ever feel the same after her time here.

He stopped just in front of her, his smile twitching as he looked around. "Where's your group?" What he really wanted to ask was where the silver haired male that usually accompanied her was. He knew that the Hanyou didn't like him, well, not just him he was sure, but any male that got near the woman before him and he wasn't looking to be speared by those golden eyes that could spit fire.

"Um... I kinda got separated from them," she said, looking unsure for a moment and while he was concerned with her being alone he felt that her separation wasn't of her doing or if it was something serious must of happened and then suddenly he noticed how pale she suddenly got as tears welled up in her eyes. "I-I..um..." She was off, taking a hard run to stop behind a tree before sounds of her emptying her bowls hit his ears. A brow raised in confusion. A few minutes later she stood, her face even paler than before with sweat that glistened on her brow, her body shivering as she held herself up with one hand on the trunk of the tree. "Sorry," she murmured. He shook his head and offered her his flask for refreshment and well, of course to wash that taste out of her mouth. Taking it from his hands she took a small bit of the cool water, swished it around her mouth and spit it out before taking a hearty gulp.

"You okay?" he inquired, and while he was concerned he was also feeling rather upset that her group had left her out here, alone and sick, and that just didn't sit well with him. She nodded, handing him back the flask.

"Just a...well," she stuttered. It wasn't something that she wanted to share with others, since once finding out that she was pregnant she had felt very shamed and guilty as could be and while she accepted the child (for the most part) she still felt an attack of guilt and shame of what had happened to create this child. "It's a long story that I don't really want to get into right now." There, she had put it out there in the best way she could at this moment. Sure, it would become more apparent, but by that time she hoped to be with her group...or maybe in her time with her mother to help her. Shit! Her mother was going to be super ticked off at her or would she? Her mother was a very understanding person and while she might be upset she would ultimately support her child and if she didn't then Kagome could just go it alone. She wouldn't need anyone if they didn't accept her mistake and her choice. Was that really fair though since she was still reeling over said mistake and trying to still come to terms with what could be considered fallout. Sure, she had chose to keep her child, but until when? Would she be able to give the child a good home? Love? There was still time to figure that out, but she knew from her time that some women weren't able to connect with their child (wanted or not) until they gave birth, while others never felt that connection and failed to even want to see said child. They disconnected and yet she was already talking to the child...well, she was in her mind maybe.

"Where were you headed?" he asked, failing to see that she hadn't heard a word he said, just excited to have some time with the girl that he had met all that time ago and instantly having found himself attracted to her. Who wouldn't when presented with such a vibrant woman with never-ending love for all those that she came across. She was also beautiful, her raven hair gleaming with the light of the sun and her brown orbs like pools of chocolate, such a combination of warmth and while he could see that she was looking a little worse for wear she was still beautiful to him.

"Nowhere...well, I was looking for my group of course, but since I don't know where I am now...well, that makes it hard to know where to even look," she said, stuttering slightly as unease set in, and with a good mixture of feelings that were becoming a familiar background noise in her mind. She needed to get over that, but she wasn't sure if she ever could. She really needed to talk to Sango, her friend was her best bet to get a clear mind. Her friend knew those feelings best herself, in fact she had told Kagome all about it within the first few days of their meetings. Telling Kagome later that talking to her and helped to alleviate some of those feelings, but that until she resolved the final piece of her puzzle that she would always feel the guilt. Her brother was the reason for that last bout of guilt for her. She felt guilty that her brother had fallen into Naraku's clutches and while it was unfounded, Sango still wanted to find her brother to resolve it.

"Ah, well, you can stay with my family for the time being," the brunette stated with a smile. "At least then you can get some rest and get over whatever is plaguing you." She wanted to correct him, that the fact of the matter was this whatever he was talking about wouldn't be resolved so quickly. It would be at least another eight months in the making. That thought made her wonder something that had never quite made its way into her thoughts and now it swirled in the mess that was her mind. Would having a demon's child..or half demon in this case, would it mean the pregnancy time was different than her own knowledge. Was nine months the norm for demons like humans or would it be shorter...or longer? She wasn't sure which one worried her the most, that she would be a mother sooner than she was ready for at this moment or the fact that it would be longer, more time for her worries to fester in her mind. Shaking those thoughts away, to swirl in the back of her mind with all the others that seemed to flail around back there, she nodded at his proposal. Thankful that she would be able to rest, eat and possibly work out a way to find her friends.

Said friends weren't as far as she thought, in fact if she had gone for another week she would have found them...in the other direction. As it was they would find her soon enough, with the two dog demons in their pack now. Koga hadn't wanted to join them, his complaint of their mutt smell his reason though the others in the group knew it was because of said dog demons and the power the pair had to knock him senseless or kill him and while said pair of demons weren't happy to allow him into the combined pack they would have done it to find the Miko. Another Miko tracked behind them, keeping herself unseen as she watched them from the woods that lined the fields they were running thru.

"Where the fuck did she go?" Inuyasha grumbled, and not for the first time in as many days either. They had been on the road for almost a week now, following the breezes that seemed to hold a faint smell of the raven haired woman to them. He was the most frustrated out of all of them and even though he never voiced his frustrations in a way that they could understand why he was so frustrated they knew. It wasn't hard to tell that the pair of them, Inuyasha and Kagome, failed to notice what was right in front of them and the cause of this was Kikyo and the fact that Inuyasha had grown up under the assumption that Hanyous were unlovable. That they would never find a mate in life, much less a person on which would allow them such a defilement. He still saw it that way and that would be because of Kikyo again. Kikyo was a big obstacle in the their life...in their feelings. Kikyo had been the first one to accept the Hanyou...well, in some ways. She accepted that he was human, abet half human. They knew of her wish for him to be fully human. Sango had heard it from Kagome and well, Sango had told Miroku. The pair had analyzed this and found that Kikyo must not have loved Inuyasha at all, a revelation that he had also come to once meeting Kagome. She loved him for all he was, but because of Kikyo again she didn't reveal those feelings. A fear that she would get in his way. She wanted him to be happy and that was love in the most purest form. She didn't care if she was happy with his decision, but she would bear that pain to let him be happy.

Even if he didn't voice his own feelings on the small future born Miko, his actions spoke volumes. And between the two that adage was both true and yet those actions had yet to let the couple know that they were fools. Failing to see that they were both hurting each other while also attempting to do just that...not hurt each other. They weren't just clueless though, they were so caught up in trying to ignore their own desires and to not cause the other any undue pain that they were doing it in a way that was far worse than if they just spit it out. "One of these days we need to lock them in a hut and leave them there for a week," Miroku stated, no smile as he was truly serious. Sango nodded. They were both so sad that their friends were hurting and it was something that could be cleared if they just admitted to their actual feelings.

"Would still be like pulling teeth," the slayer said with a sigh as she clung to Kirara's almost golden fur. "Inuyasha is too set in his beliefs to ever tell her how he feels. Like it would hurt to know that she didn't feel that way about him, even if it's so obvious to all of us." At this Shippo, who was riding between the pair, nodded. He knew how the pair felt about each other and he was just a kid. He couldn't understand Inuyasha's failure to read the very open Miko, but then again he could also understand how he felt on his Hanyou status. It wasn't something his own father or mother had talked about, but they had also felt rather uneasy about such a creature to exist when humans and demons fought so hard to stay separate for the same reason...safety. They didn't feel that safe with each other and that was something that could cause any relationship harm. Safety was just another word for trust. If you couldn't trust the one that lay beside you at night, the one that was there when you were most vulnerable then was it a safe relationship? No, no it wasn't and without that guarantee of safety there was no trust to be had and such the foundation of your relationship crumbled. It was just that simple.

"My brother has never been one to speak his mind in such matters," Sesshomaru stated, coldly as he passed close to them. He had heard their conversation and knew their stories all to well. He too had once hated humans and while he felt no love for their race in particular, he knew that not all humans were bad. No, Rin, his ward was one example of that and while she was a child in more ways than one she hadn't ever shown fear of him. No, she trusted that he would keep her safe and while he felt he had failed her more than once she never wavered in that trust of him. If anything she had grown more attached to him while still showing that she could, like him, be independent. Asking him for things that at times when not even Jaken dared to voice. The Miko, Kagome was like that as well, not in the childish sense. She wasn't all that afraid of him and her love for his brother was so obvious to him. She would die for him and of that he was certain. She had trust in the male even when he went after the clay doll that he too was sure was behind all the pain that the Miko had in her aura. She hadn't had that the first time they had met. While he was trying to kill her and Inuyasha during that first meeting he had seen the unconditional love and trust she had for his brother...Until the very woman who had sealed his brother to a tree after betraying him had come back to life. He scoffed. Life. That was a rather loose term for what she held now. She wasn't anything but a soul, one she had stolen to his understanding, that was lost in time...stuck to forever hate her former lover and to yearn for not only his death to sooth her hate, but to keep him at her side and allow no one to come in between them.

Rin had that with him too. Unconditional love and trust and while he had always found such emotions of humans to be weak he would never allow her to leave his side. No, those same emotions fed him the strength that he had never known he had. The need to protect her strong enough to return those feelings that were, even now, so new and foreign to him. There was just one difference between the two humans. The era's they had grown up in. Rin was taught at a young age to fear ones such as he and Kagome, from what he could gather, had never had to deal with his kind and yet, they both opened their hearts to them. Allowed them to lead them by the hand without fear, trusting they would never harm them.

"Well, that's too bad," Sango growled lowly to his surprise. She was a slayer and that meant she hunted his kind and yet, here she was with not only a half demon, but a full one right behind her. His brother's group was an enigma. Shaking his head they were all brought to attention when Inuyasha snapped at them.

"Oi, what the fuck are you all getting so chummy about?" he growled, turning to look at them as he continued to run in front of them. "We ain't go time for this! You're slowing us down." They knew he wasn't really mad at them, but even so Sango shot him a glare, his own eyes narrowing at her in challenge. He wasn't going to back down on this one. He had to find the missing Miko and he had to do it soon. She was vital to his wellbeing...well, to their upcoming battle. When no one said anything he shot back out in front, speeding up as the sun began to descend and yet he made no mention of camping down for the night. This had been an ongoing trend for the last few days. He refused to stop for a break, even knowing that not only the humans in his pack needed it, but that even Kirara couldn't run forever with no food or rest.

"We shall be making camp," Sesshomaru said suddenly, slowing his own running to tend to his ward. When Inuyasha growled at this impendence to their search, his brother just shot him a look that both Sango and Miroku nodded at. They were also getting tired of searching and having been on the road for almost twelve hours with no break they needed to rest. Taking that Sesshomaru would back them up they also voiced their needs to the irritated Hanyou before he finally slowed down, cursing a grumbling that he didn't need to stop. No he needed to find Kagome and get her back by his side. The others failed to hear that part as they were farther behind him and with a final stop just six feet from them he looked to the forest that they were coming up upon. He felt his demon fighting him, wanting to keep going even if he knew that his brother and the pack were right. They needed to break, to sleep because they would be no good if they weren't up for a fight that could well be waiting in that very forest. The fact that they had yet to run into Naraku at this time spoke volumes as to what the spider demon was narrowing his own sight on. Kagome. They were all looking for the Miko and until they found her they would have no rest.

I hope you're okay. Turning to join his pack in setting up camp his eyes fell on the yellow bag that Miroku was unloading from while his brother went off to hunt for more food to feed the now expanding group. He could feel his anger return for the small woman who was missing, the one that should really be setting up their camp as she always had. She had acted like a pack mother of sorts for their group. As if they were mates taking care of their own little group and he missed that. Missed seeing her smile and hearing her stories that she told Shippo before bed. He missed seeing her studying her books that she seemed to hate even as she told him it was something she had to do. But, he was angry too. She had blindsided him with both her marking, mating and then a pup that wasn't his. Would he ever be able to get over the fact that even if she accepted him at some point in the future that he wouldn't be her first mate, her babies wouldn't be his first. It was a pride thing for most to be the only one that had touched their mate, but for him it was much more than that. What it was? He couldn't put a name to it. Sighing he moved to sit next to the bag, Rin talking cheerfully with Miroku as he pulled more items out of the bag, her curiosity reminding him of the times that they all had seen her modern contraptions and her clothing, some of which was still in the yellow bag. Sighing he began to block them all out as he thought of where the young woman could be.

He would just have to learn how to get past it because even though she had done something that had hurt him, she truly wasn't the only one to blame. He could take some of that blame as well. He had been stuck to her like glue that night, even after trying to keep her from indulging in the sake at their table, but even after she had he had tried to keep all the males in the room away from her. Yes, he was possessive of her, even if he had yet to mark her with his teeth at that point. He had scent marked her for cripes sake! Another demon should have taken that hint and fucked off, but like his brother had stated. Naraku wasn't a true demon or even a half demon at that. He wouldn't know such a thing, but he should have known that he had fucked up by messing with a woman that didn't like him. No, she hated him even if she felt a little guilty for feeling such an immense hate for any creature. Sighing he felt his stomach roll in unease at the thought that she had enjoyed that night and he felt the bile rise in his throat at that very thought, but he knew...dammit, he knew she wouldn't have enjoyed such a moment with that vile monster that had claimed her. Even then, the bile refused to return to his stomach and lurching off he found a safe place, one where the others could not see to empty what little food he had in his stomach. As he stood there, leaning with one hand against the tree he found confusion filling him at his actions. He had never been one to throw up over anything, save for the strong smell of blood or ink, but even those never caused his body to actually vomit.

Strange...

Mate...need mate...

I hope everyone is enjoying the story. I know, it's dark and twisted, but I can tell you that it will get better. It may not go on in a way that most will like, but the ending will be all worth it. I promise! Stay safe.