Happy Whatever-Holiday-You-Like!

Here's to happy and peaceful times. Have some conspiracy theories and some smut to get you happily into the New Year!

"We are glad that you were able to destroy the breeding facility," Councilor Sparatus said, his subharmonics neutrally under tight control. "Nevertheless it is unfortunate that you were unable to arrest Saren. You will of course have to continue your search for him after you have been to the Citadel."

Shepard nodded, her features just as under control as the ouncillors subharmonics. "We will find him, Dr. T'Soni is confident that she can infer his destination near the Mu relay from the vision she has seen in my head." A scowl appeared on her forehead. "But I want to emphasize once again that the threat from Sovereign is much bigger than anything we may have to expect from Saren and his geth."

The asari councilor threw a look to the side, outside the range of the wavering holographic projection. Garrus noted that she was not in the same room as Sparatus and Valern, who appeared in their projection together. But someone was definitely in the room with Councilor Tevos and she kept looking at them when she thought nobody noticed it.

The salarian councilor Valern sniffed through his nose, a typical salarian gesture that implied disbelief. "As impressive as your description of your conversation with the VI from Saren's ship was –"

"It was not a VI," Garrus interrupted. Shepard turned away from the camera to hide her facial expressions. She was rolling her eyes, having used up all diplomatic patience she had. They had been at this point before in the conversation and they kept running into the same wall. The Councilors were not willing to believe that Sovereign was a Reaper and that he was the vanguard of an impending invasion by the Reapers.

Without a recording from the conversation with Sovereign, they just didn't believe anything they said.

Shepard turned back to the camera with a deep breath, raising her head and then catching herself. She adjusted her body language to appear stronger and more determined by lowering her head.

"Councilors," she said, the strain of barely controlled anger in her voice. "I don't understand why you refuse to believe our account of the conversation. You have a retelling of the conversation from six people who all tell you the same things."

"Commander Shepard," Councilor Tevos said in a soft voice. "You have just explained to us how much influence the indoctrination by the geth ship has on organic minds – "

"– it"s not a geth ship!" Shepard yelled out in exasperation, "it's a Reaper."

"That is what your mind is telling you," the asari councilor calmly continued, "but how can you and further on how can we believe anything from you if you have been subjected to that indoctrination influence?"

Shepard looked like she was about to explode and Garrus stepped a bit closer to her to brush his hand against her back. He felt the tension in her back muscles and tried to lay all the calm he could muster into his touch.

"If that is your assessment," Shepard pressed out between clenched teeth, "then I don't see why we're even talking right now."

"We expect you to undergo extensive neural and psychological evaluations by the leading experts on the Citadel," Councilor Sparatus said and Garrus almost growled at the smug undertone in his subharmonics.

"Of course," Shepard said, standing at parade rest, her eyes almost closed. "Then I suggest we'll continue our conversation after those evaluations."

"That seems to be wise," Sparatus said. "While you are in range of the comm buoy, I would like to speak to Opione Vakarian in private, for a report to the turian Hierarchy."

"Then I'll leave you the comm room for that, I can give my report to the Alliance from the captain's cabin." She gave a curt nod and turned on her heels to leave. The asari councilor bowed shortly and turned off her channel, her eyes flicking to the unseen person in her room before the display shut off.

Sparatus exchanged pleasantries with the salarian councilor and waited until he had left the room to turn back to the camera. "Optione Vakarian, do you have anything to add to or change about your report?"

"Everything I have said is as accurate as the report I have sent you. Everything we have reported is the truth." He kept his speech as formulaic and militaristic as possible and underlined his it with subharmonics of conviction.

"You do understand of course that we can't trust anything you said unless you have definite proof. Everything you think you saw could be an illusion by the indoctrination."

"That's not how the indoctrination works, it makes people into slaves by suppressing their free will, not by supplying illusions," Garrus said, desperately controlling his subharmonics to not reveal how insulted he felt by the councilor.

"Your personal account aside, you can hardly call yourself an expert on the indoctrination," Sparatus said, his subharmonics scolding him. "We have to do extensive research to learn how the indoctrination works. Your account, while interesting, is not enough for a scientific evaluation."

Garrus pressed his mandibles tight to his face stop himself from growling. "Right now it's all we have and I can assure you that the threat from Saren is very real. No matter what you think of the Reapers –"

An angry trill interrupted him, so much sounding like an order that he instinctively shut his mouth. Even over the limited sound range of the galactic comm system, some subharmonic sounds were just ingrained in any good turian.

"– turning to mythical creatures that want to destroy the galaxy is not helpful for the cause right now," Sparatus said.

"Oh, when would it be convenient then?" Garrus spat out, not bothering to hide his anger. He wasn't that good of a turian.

"Watch your tone, Optione Vakarian," Sparatus snarled, "don't let the lax behaviour of the humans influence in such a way that –"

"This has nothing to do with the humans, you are avoiding the real threat and –"

"I expect your report on my desk right away," Sparatus said with another scolding trill and cut off the comm channel.

Garrus threw his head back and stretched his neck with a sigh.

A snickering laughter came over the comm system. "Wow, I thought only Shepard had such bad conversations with the brass," Joker said. "Then again, it's usually her who hangs up, not the other way around."

"Yeah, that could have gone better," Garrus said with another sigh, "I wonder what besides a gun to the face can possibly convince these bureaucrats?"

"Don't ask me, I was never good with talking to the higher-ups."

Knowing that Joker wouldn't understand it, Garrus let out a subharmonic curse that involved a lot of bodily harm he wished upon the turian councillor.

"Cut it out you crazy raptor, I'm getting weird static here over the comm," Joker called out.

"Looks like your comm system needs an adjustment for lower frequencies," Garrus said and turned to leave. But Joker called him back.

"Not so fast, you have another call."

Garrus let out another curse and turned back to the console. "And who wants to ruin my day now?"

The instant he said the words, the hologram flickered to life and displayed Nihlus. "Now is that the way to talk to your official contact to the turian Hierarchy?"

Garrus hung his head low. "Thanks for the warning, Joker."

"You know me, always working on better communications all around." Joker let another giggle slip out and cut the comm.

"Sounds like a nice guy," Nihlus said, "maybe I should visit him some time."

"Oh stop it, Nihlus," Garrus growled, "he just barely warmed up to me, don't ruin his opinions of turians."

"We really have to talk about the lack of respect you learned on that human ship," Nihlus said, as serious as he could. "Maybe your father would be interested in hearing –"

"– I'm going to kill you," Garrus snarled. He adjusted the holographic display so that he could sit down in one of the chairs and talk to Nihlus a bit more relaxed.

Nihlus chuckled and sprawled out on his own chair, his long legs hanging over the side of a comfortable looking cushion.

Garrus scooted around on the chair until he found a comfortable way to spread out his legs without getting his spurs pinched. He looked back to the holographic presentation of Nihlus, who looked like a small ghost, hovering over the comm console.

"Did you get your office furniture upgraded?" Garrus asked.

"Oh no, this isn't my office, this is the living room of Feln'dra, an apprentice of Shi'ala. She..." Nihlus closed his eyes for a moment and sang out an appreciative and downright lewd trill, "she is a quick learner." He continued his lewd subharmonics that made Garrus' neck run hot. "Maybe I should introduce Leo to her, the three of us would be a great team, we could –"

"Spirits, spare me the details, please," Garrus said, hiding his face in his hand.

"Aww, don't be so shy, Palaven boy, I could tell you things... what Leo can do with that mouth of his..."

"Nihlus, please!"

"Has Shepard ever given you a blowjob?"

Garrus let out an embarrassing squeak before he caught himself. "Really, Nihlus? Really?"

Nihlus grinned widely, his mandibles quivering. "Hey, the galaxy is full of wonders and human mouths and their obsession of using them on everything is certainly one of them, let me tell you..."

"Please don't," Garrus said, humming in discomfort. But one corner of his mind couldn't help wondering why a blowjob had never come up between Shepard and him. She was quite content in kissing him everywhere, even on his penis but it had never been like the kind of things he had seen in porn-vids.

"But you know what a blowjob is, yes?"

Garrus sighed with an annoyed undertone, "Yes, I have watched porn, you know?"

"The things humans can do with their tongues and their mouths... I'm telling you, Garrus, if the humans on Shanxi had done to the turians what Leo did - we would have surrendered with our mandibles spread wide and singing in sexual bliss."

"Can we please change the subject now?" He waited for Nihlus to acknowledge his request with a short trill and turned to the notes on his omni-tool. "Have you read Shepard's and my report?"

"Yes, I have, why do you think I'd rather talk about blowjobs?" Nihlus said, his subharmonics dropping to a serious hum. "This indoctrination sounds terrifying."

"There's something else that we didn't put into the report," Garrus said quietly.

Nihlus turned to the display with a questioning trill.

"When Saren had Shepard by the throat, she said that he had shot you in the head and he thought that Shepard had shot you."

"What?" Nihlus leaned forward with an angry snarl. "I remember quite well that it was him who held the gun and said that he had everything under control before he shot me, that bastard."

"He thinks Shepard did it."

"Shepard wasn't even there, she came much later to the platform."

Garrus made a calming trill before he said, "We think that somehow, Sovereign has implanted that idea into his mind and he looked genuinely angry about her having shot you."

"Futuo, now I actually feel sorry for that asshole," Nihlus spat out and his subharmonics wavered between empathy and anger. "Does he know that his attempt on my life wasn't successful?"

"No, Shepard didn't mention that, she concentrated on making him realize that his mind is compromised already but we ran out of time." Garrus let out a frustrated hum, "Saren thinks he's doing the right thing, he thinks the galaxy is doomed when the Reapers attack and I think he is trying to form a collaboration."

"A collaboration with the Reapers?"

Garrus nodded. "That's what it sounds like."

"Did you mention that to the Councilors?" Nihlus asked, one mandible tipping upwards.

Garrus let out a snort. "The Councilors don't even believe in the existence of the Reapers, Saren seeking a collaboration with them would only confirm them in dismissing him as plain crazy. He's too dangerous to just be called crazy."

A message ping on his omni-tool from Shepard distracted him for a moment; she asked if she could join in the conversation. "Can Shepard come and join us or do we have some secret Hierarchy things to discuss first?"

"What secrets are worth keeping during a galactic threat?" Nihlus asked, uncharacteristically gloomy. He turned away from the camera and was quietly staring at nothing, his subharmonics almost too quiet to be picked up by the comm. But Garrus could sense the sadness he was trying to hide.

"I'll call you right back," Nihlus said and turned off the transmission.

Garrus sent out a ping to Shepard and a short time later, the door opened to let her in. She wore simple fatigues and looked like she had actually gotten some sleep recently. The long way back to the Citadel from Virmire was at least good for something. They were now in orbit around an unpopulated planet to vent the Normandy's systems. The star in this system was a weak red dwarf and only a small mining colony populated one of the planets close to it but at least they had a comm buoy that they could use.

She sauntered over to Garrus' chair and leaned down to place a soft kiss on his mandible. "How are you doing, Angel?"

"Annoyed seems to hit it best," Garrus grumbled, taking in her lovely scent.

"Sparatus didn't believe you either?"

Garrus leaned back to stretch his shoulder muscles and was surprised when Shepard took that as an invitation to sit on his lap. She put an arm on his cowl but remained upright. Garrus placed a hand on the small of her back, softly stroking with his thumb.

"Sparatus thinks we all just saw illusions," Garrus said, "we are all just indoctrinated."

"How can he believe we are indoctrinated if none of it was real?"

"Have I mentioned how much I hated the bureaucracy back in C-Sec and how much talking to the Councillors reminds of that?"

"Once or twice," Shepard said with a chuckle.

"And here I thought Spectre authority would circumvent all that," Garrus sighed.

"Well, Spectre authority is not the get-out-of-jail-card, as some people like to believe," Shepard said, stroking over his mandible with a soft finger.

"Tell me about it," Nihlus said, as he reappeared in the holographic display. "But at least it can open a comm channel without too much fanfare." He looked them over, his mandibles quivering slightly. His dark mood seemed to have disappeared. "I must say, I was gone long enough, I had hoped for a bit more action by now."

Shepard laughed openly and leaned forward to lick slowly over Garrus' mandible. "Like this?" she said with a look towards Nihlus.

The red turian swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes, that looks promising." He winked towards Garrus. "Remember what I told you about humans and how they like to use their mouths."

Shepard raised an eyebrow and threw Garrus a questioning look. He was saved from answering her nonverbal question by the appearance of another person next to Nihlus. It was Dania Va'sida from ANIS, looking not quite as angry as the last time Garrus had seen her.

The dark-blue asari sat down next to Nihlus at something that looked like a desk. Nihlus had apparently left the apprentice's apartment and was now in a room that looked like a home office.

"Dania and I have been working on finding out more about the part the asari play in this game," Nihlus said and displayed a few lists on the big terminal screen.

Dania underlined a few names on the list. "What you see here is the traditional power structure of asari society. We believe that every asari in the community has a say in the decisions of the councils. But in reality," Dania threw a look to Shepard, "a handful of powerful Matriarchs dominate the political process. What ever subject they put their political weight behind, it will usually get decided in their favor."

"Matriarch Benezia was one of them?" Shepard asked.

"Oh yes, she was very influential. She was an active follower of the Athame Doctrine, the old religion of the goddess Athame. Her followers have seen a rise in popularity recently."

"So there is a religious shift going on on Thessia?" Garrus wondered, still softly stroking Shepard's back.

"It's not just on Thessia," Dania said while Nihlus nodded beside her. "Asari always look towards Thessia and the leading matriarchs for guidance, no matter where in the galaxy they are. If they have a shift towards the old traditions, it causes a shift for almost all asari."

"I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with the Athame Doctrine," Shepard said. "Could you give me a rundown?"

Dania nodded and scooted closer to the camera. Nihlus leaned back and looked at his omni-tool while she pulled up a few images on the feed.

"When you hear an asari say 'by the goddess', that refers to Athame." She pointed at an image of a figure that didn't look asari at all. "Athame came from the heavens to enlighten the asari. Together with her two helpers Janiri and Lucen, she gave us the knowledge of science, of math, medicine and agriculture. There is also a bit in the old Athame Codex that says that she gave us the gift of biotics."

"That sounds like a normal religion, lots of cultures have something like that," Shepard said with a shrug. "Some god or goddess forming the world and the creatures living in it. Making the one species that has invented the religion the head of the food-chain on the planet."

Garrus nodded. "I think only the salarians don't have a religion like that."

Dania opened her mouth but she didn't say anything. Garrus was about to check if the feed had broken when she finally started talking quietly. "There is sect of fundamentalists of the Athame Doctrine that take things a bit further. They believe that Athame gave the asari these gifts to make them –" she hesitated, wringing her hands before she hid them under the table, " – they think it makes the asari superior. They believe that the asari are meant to lead the other races in the galaxy and to cleanse them if necessary. " Her hands came back on the desk, clenched in fists and slightly glowing. Nihlus put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

Shepard had sat up on Garrus' lap and his hand on her back stilled.

"Cleanse? How?" Shepard asked, her brows furrowed.

Dania was visibly upset, clenching her glowing fists. The holographic feed didn't quite represent the blue of her biotics correctly but Garrus could just imagine how she was bathing everything around her in blue light. The asari closed her eyes and took a few breaths. The glow on her hands died down and she opened her eyes to speak again.

"This sect, that we assume was lead by Matriarch Benezia among others, believes that they have to cleanse the galaxy of wrong influences or inferior species. They see them themselves as the leading class that has to teach the lesser species the right way. Species that don't follow or don't agree... need to be forced or eradicated."

Shepard looked like she had just swallowed a Glershing bug. "Yeah, that pretty much hits all the marks for delusions of grandeur. Why haven't I ever heard of those fundamentalists before?"

Nihlus made a dismissive trill. "Most asari consider them to be kind of silly, I think. Sort of stuck in the past, like, how do you humans say, green-necks?"

"You mean rednecks?" Shepard had to laugh, "well, asari already have kind of a mullet, it could work." She giggled a little while Garrus checked his omni-tool for a translation for mullet. "I'll explain later, Angel, it's actually not that funny," she said and turned his attention back to the turian and asari on the holographic display. "We'll be leaving the range of this comm buoy soon so let's hurry up. We have this group of fundamentals who want to cleanse the galaxy of inferior species. What Saren said sounded a bit different but it could play right into that but how does he, a turian, fit into this?"

"We were wondering about that too," Nihlus said. "All evidence seems to suggest that an asari would have been much easier to convince as they are more susceptible to the indoctrination."

"We don't know how long Saren has been under that influence, it could have been years," Shepard said.

Garrus recalled the hero-stories about the Spectres he had loved to read as a child. "After the war on Shanxi, there was something at Temple Palaven. There has never been a clear report what exactly happened there but there was an explosion and it collapsed and the site has been closed to the public ever since. The reports just vaguely said that Saren saved Palaven from a catastrophe that day. If it involved an artifact, they didn't mention it of course but he could have found something and took it with him."

Shepard opened the interface on her omni-tool and scrolled through a list of entries. She had sucked in part of her lower lip as she concentrated on the list, her face showing a kind of relaxed tension. Garrus recognized that expression from back in the day when they had poured over the data from the council network. It seemed so long ago, when it was just their first ANIS investigation together and the sake of the galaxy had not been sitting on their shoulders.

"Zilch, nada," she mumbled.

"What?" both turians said with a confused thrill.

"Nothing," Shepard mumbled. When she noticed the confused silence from the aliens, she looked up. "Sorry, it actually means 'nothing', that expression," she said with an apologetic smile. "What I meant was that I can find nothing on Temple Palaven and what Saren did there."

Nihlus chuckled a little. "Don't underestimate the thoroughness of the Turian Hierarchy in classifying all the things. I'm surprised they actually released anything to the news corps back then but I guess they had to explain somehow why the Temple was gone."

"That was when, 25 years ago?" Garrus wondered.

"26 if I remember correctly," Nihlus said.

"But that wasn't Sovereign back then," Shepard said.

"No," Nihlus shook his head in a strangely human expression. "He showed me the ship just a while ago."

Dania had been quiet during the exchange, looking through information on her terminal.

"Dania, spill," Shepard said.

The asari squirmed in her seat, opening and closing her mouth a few times. Finally, she closed the interface on her arm and faced the camera. "If we dig deep into old conspiracy theories," she said with an expression that made her disgust for those theories quite clear, "they say that there are artifacts hidden around the galaxy from ancient times. On Palaven, on Sur'Kesh and even on Thessia."

"But I bet nobody has ever seen those artifacts," Shepard mused.

"No and frankly, I thought it was just silly stories for gullible idiots," Dania said with a deep sigh.

Garrus felt a shudder crawl up his neck. "If Saren has found an artifact at the temple or even before, and kept it around – he could have been under the influence for over 25 years. Would he even know what his mind feels like without it?"

"It may have changed his whole personality," Shepard said quietly, throwing a look towards Nihlus.

"Hey, I always said there was a nice turian hidden under his asshole exterior," Nihlus said with a sarcastic trill. But he turned his face away from the camera, his mandibles pressed tight against his face. Even over the limited audio range of the galactic comm system, Garrus could hear the faint tone of sadness that sang from his chest.

"We need to find a way to protect ourselves from this influence," Shepard said quietly, "something like an implant or a shield."

"I don't know if people would agree to wear implants," Garrus wondered.

"You think that would be a problem?" Shepard called out in surprise.

Nihlus chuckled. "You won't have problems with humans in that way, humans love using implants. They would substitute half of their major body parts if it would make life more convenient."

"We wouldn't be where we are now if it weren't for implants," Shepard said. "Myself, I'm still waiting for my personal shield implant, I'd put that in in heartbeat. I might even give up the hair control implant for that..." she hesitated for a second, "or maybe not, what a hassle that would be." She ruffled through her short hair and Garrus wondered how it would feel to have hair growing longer and longer on your head. It was such a strange concept.

Dania shook her head. "Humans are really strange sometimes."

"Says the woman who burns the carpet by flicking her fingers," Shepard said with a wide grin.

"It's a gift!" Dania said, "quite literally according to the Athame believers."

The comm system gave a warning about the range of the comm buoy they were using. The Normandy was on the way to the next relay to return to the Citadel.

"We are going to keep investigating that Athame cult from here," Nihlus said quickly, "and I gave everything you scanned and reported on the indoctrination to our research team. Hopefully by the time you are back here, we know a bit more."

Shepard stood up and stepped closer to the translucent projection. "Prepare the council that we will have to take some serious action against Saren, as soon as we know where around the Mu-relay he is. We need a fleet at the least."

Nihlus hissed out subtones of suppressed anger. "I'll try my best but I'm not exactly their favorite Spectre."

Garrus answered in an equal hiss, "Their favorite Spectre threatens to hand over the galaxy to the Reapers right now. They should reevaluate their priorities."

"I'll make sure to mention that," Nihlus said with a sarcastical growl.

"We'll see you in four days," Shepard said as the VI gave a final warning of leaving the comm buoy range and the connection closed.

Shepard turned back to Garrus and took his hand to pull him out of his chair. She kept his hand in his and only dropped it when they reached the door and left the comm room. She turned to him with a tired smile. "My cabin for a nightcap? I have beer, turian Ecellent Ale or something like that."

Garrus stopped still, his mandibles hanging down. "You have Excelsum Ale?"

Shepard nodded, grinning happily at his surprise. "I do, found it in that mercenary nest a while back. Turian mercenaries seem to have good taste in beer."

"You got yourself a date!"

"Had I known that turians are so easily impressed with Ale –"

"What, you would have offered Saren one?"

Shepard snickered. "I doubt that would have swayed him, I was thinking I could have caught me a turian much earlier."

They had reached the captains cabin and as the door closed behind them, Garrus pulled her in his arms and pressed his forehead against hers. A wave of happiness flowed through him as his mating scent released. "So, you were looking for just any turian?"

Shepard laughed out and pressed a kiss on his mouthplates. "No, only this one. I'm so glad that I found you."

"Me too," Garrus whispered.

Shepard kissed him again and he opened his mouth to invite her tongue in. The soft tip found his own flexible one and he shuddered as she brushed along his tongue. With a sigh she pulled back and smirked at him.

"What were you talking about with Nihlus before I came in? Something about how much humans like to use their mouths?"

Garrus stretched his neck in embarrassment. "Well, we may have been talking about, ahem, blowjobs?"

Shepard took a step back and placed her hands on her hips. "Really? You've been using the extremely expensive galactic comm system to talk about blowjobs?"

"A little?"

Shepard shook her head but she smiled. "Let's just hope that nobody ever finds the recording of that conversation."

Garrus let out an annoyed trill. "Futuo, I forgot about that."

Shepard raised an eyebrow as she looked at him from under her eyelashes. "Yeah, the galactic comm system is not the best idea for sex chat and love poems across the galaxy. Better remember that if we ever call each other."

Garrus felt a pang of fear, thinking about how they could one day be apart. He didn't want to ever leave her side.

Shepard handed him the bottle of turian ale and opened a bottle of a human beer for herself. She sat down on her bed and leaned back against the wall. Garrus laid down next to her, resting on his cowl and took a sip of his beer. He leaned his head back and savored how the cold liquid ran down his throat.

Memories rose up of how he had tasted his first ale in the garden behind the house. He had just come back from the first weeks in basic and his report in shooting had not been to his father's liking. He had stolen a bottle of his best beer to spite him and hid in the garden under the old, silver leafed Mernina tree to drink it. He remembered how he didn't like the bitterness at first but by the last sip he had decided that he would only drink this beer from now on. That proved to be difficult to keep up as the cheap bars around the Second Year Camp only stocked the cheaper beers.

Jane took a sip of her beer and grimaced. "Human mercenaries fail in beer taste." She took another sip. "Well, I had worse." She turned to Garrus. "So, you want to know about blowjobs."

Garrus choked on his beer and wiped his mouthplates. "I know what a blowjob is, I have seen porn."

"Porn, the galaxy-wide phenomenon," she said.

"I was just wondering why you never... I mean you don't have to but you do like using your mouth and I was just wondering..." Garrus stopped his babbling before he embarrassed himself even more.

"Hey, it's okay, Angel," she said, leaning over and placing a hand on his cowl. "You know, we never had this talk about what we like or dislike."

Garrus pulled her in his arms and let his mandibles comb through her hair. "We seemed to get along just fine."

She looked up to him, her breath flowing over his mandibles. "Still, let's talk about this, why not? The reason why I didn't bring up a blowjob with you –" Jane sighed and turned away, " – frankly I think I'm not very good at it."

He looked at her and waited until she had turned to face him. "Why do you think that?"

"I have a strong gag reflex, I can't take it deep or I'll start gagging and feeling sick."

"Well," Garrus said, "it's not like I have much to compare to."

"Yeah, great, that's just the kind of encouragement a girl wants to hear," Jane snorted out.

"No! Sorry, that came out wrong. I mean, you don't have to do it if you don't feel comfortable but if you ever... I'm sure I would enjoy whatever you do." He desperately searched for words to express what he wanted to say but he could only sing out in subharmonics that her comfort was the most important thing for him.

Jane put her beer to the side and crawled up to him until she straddled him. She smiled and let her fingers play softly over the fabric of his underarmor. "So you'd like a blowjob," she said, grinning at him, "what else do you like? Or what do you not like, what about anal, things in your butt? That's something that I don't like at all."

Garrus took a breath and pushed aside any trill of embarrassment that wanted to leave his chest. "I don't mind it, if it isn't too large."

"If turian men have sex, do they...?"

"Anal sex? Yes, that is actually not that different from how humans... you know..." Garrus noticed how Jane had opened his underarmor and her fingers were playing on the soft skin between his plates. He stretched out and purred.

"Not that different, hmm?" Jane murmured, her voice husky. "What else?"

"Well, there's also the sheath." Garrus pointed towards his crotch, where his penis was already reacting to the gentle ministrations of Jane's hands.

She scooted lower to look closely at his crotch. "Oh, you mean the inside here is also a place where I could –" she leaned down and looked closer at his groin plates. The slit was already slightly open, glistening from the arousal liquid he was producing. Jane carefully felt around the slit, her finger feeling wet somehow and without warning she slipped her finger inside, pressing down towards his hidden testicles. Garrus went from slightly aroused to ready to explode in the blink of an eye.

"Spirits, Shepard!" he cried out, his talons ripping the sheets as his fists clenched.

She pulled away with a grin, watching his penis slipping out of his slit. "We'll get to that in a minute. Anything else? Anything you don't like?" Her finger, wet from his own liquid kept stroking around his slit.

Garrus needed a moment to collect his thoughts, searching his mind to find something to say. "I don't like being drugged, not in control. I can't think of anything else, everything you do is... just wonderful." Her fingers were so distracting.

Shepard crawled back up and splayed herself out on his chest. She placed a few kisses along his cowl. "So it looks like we could add some toys here and there," she said between kisses.

"And you?" Garrus asked, softly stroking over her back. "You said you don't like things anally, anything else you don't like?"

"I'm the same with drugs, I don't mind a light buzz but I want to be aware of what is going on." She moved to the side and let her hand stroke along his waist, causing him to shiver in delight. "I know the new implant drugs are all the rage on the Citadel, they're supposed to enrich the senses and all that, but I don't like stuff like that."

"Implant drugs?"

"Yeah, you know, humans and implants? We are kind of crazy with that."

"I guess..." Garrus lost his train of thought when Jane began licking along the inside of his cowl.

"I have to say," she mumbled between licks, "I like pretty much everything you have been doing so far." She thought for a moment and then said, "I don't like being dominated, like in roleplay, you know?"

"I kind of liked it when you were dominant back then," Garrus purred into her neck, loving the joyous shudder that caused in her.

"When you explained the turian body language to me? Yeah, but that's about the extent of how I like playing with that. Some people make it into a role play with a collar and one being called slave and the other master or mistress – I'm not into that."

Garrus thought about that for a minute. The idea of Jane ordering him to be her sex slave and demanding obedience in a playful setting had a certain appeal for him. "I wouldn't mind playing your slave," he finally said, carefully gauging her reaction. She looked surprised but smiled.

"Really? Now that is intriguing." She rolled off him and took his hand to pull him up. "For now, let's focus on that blowjob you'd like. Let's get into the shower, I prefer you washed clean for that."

Garrus almost fell over his own feet as he scrambled to follow Jane, his spurs tangled in the blankets.

He hurried to get rid of his clothing, and stepped into the shower where Jane was already waiting for him, naked and wet. The water felt only lukewarm to him but he didn't mind it. She put some soap on a washcloth and washed him, the firm pressure of her rubbing already enough to make him even harder.

She rinsed the suds off him and made him lean against the shower wall. Smiling at him, she slowly knelt down and pressed her hands down on either side of his slit, softly rubbing in circles. Garrus sighed when he saw her kissing along the side of his slit. When she moved over to his shaft, he had to close his eyes. Her kisses were soft and cold and each one made him shudder in anticipation.

Suddenly she stopped kissing him and he opened his eyes to look at her. When her eyes caught his, she took his tip in her mouth.

Hot, soft, flexible.

He groaned when her tongue circled around his tip. It felt nice, really nice, but he wondered if maybe Jane truly wasn't very good at it. It wasn't the mindblowing experience that Nihlus had promised.

Then she sucked and his world exploded.

His subharmonics dipped into the deep primal registers as his mind forgot about everything but her and whatever she was doing to him. He forgot to breath until pure survival instinct made him suck in air, causing his gasp to mix with a subharmonic growl that felt like it came from a distant, wild past.

She sucked on his tip, her tongue playing with the underside of his penis and her hand was covering the rest of it, pumping with the same rhythm as her head bobbed up and down. Her other fingers were somewhere under his groin plates and he didn't even know how describe the feeling of all that.

Mandibles spread wide and singing in sexual bliss, Nihlus was so right.

In an almost embarrassingly short time, his knees began to shake and everything around him fell away and his orgasm washed over him, white, hot and fast and he groaned loudly with both his voices as he came. He felt her mouth move away and her hands softly stroking him out. His ejaculate was dripping on the floor of the shower and she took a washcloth to softly wipe him clean.

When he looked down at her she smiled at him. Some of his seed was dripping from her lip and her tongue slipped out to lick it away. Garrus had never seen anything so sexy.

"Spirits, that was incredible," Garrus huffed when he found his voice again. Jane stood up and he pulled her close to him. "You were incredible," he whispered into her neck.

"Well, as you said, you didn't have a lot to compare it to," she said with a giggle, her lips caressing the soft skin on his neck.

"Oh shut it, Sunshine!" Garrus scoffed, "you know that you blew my mind from here to Palaven just now."

Jane laughed quietly. "Well, maybe I'm not so bad at it after all."

"If you were any better, you would probably kill me."

"Weapon grade blowjobs, very dangerous," she mumbled between kisses along his neck.

"Illegal in most of council space," he whispered and licked along the curve of her collarbone that he loved so much.

She sighed, letting her head fall back to make it easier for him to access her neck. The water had turned off after the usual time and her skin became prickly. Garrus watched in fascination as every single hair on her skin seemed to stand up. He had never realized that there were so many tiny hairs all over her skin.

"What are you doing?" he asked, lightly feeling over the little prickles with his fingertips.

"Huh?" she said, her voice low and throaty.

"Your skin.."

"Oh that, it's called goosebumps." Jane looked down on her arms, where the prickles were the strongest. "It's an involuntary reaction, a remnant of the times when humans still had fur and puffed it up when they felt cold."

"So you are cold?"

"Yes, from the water on my skin? Doesn't that make you feel cold too?"

Garrus shook his head, "Not much, my higher body temperature probably helps with that." He put his hands on her waist and lifted her up. She giggled and pulled herself up by his neck and placed her legs over his hips. "Let's get you warm." He carried her over to the bed and wrapped her in her warm blanket.

"Now it's my turn," he growled and spread her legs apart, making sure her feet were still covered by the second blanket.

"Oh yeah," Jane breathed out. She stuffed a pillow under her head and looked at him expectantly. Garrus waited till she had put her arms under the blanket again and lifted the blanket in front of him to dive under it.

The rough skin on his fringe held the fabric in place and in front of him her vagina glistened invitingly. He took a deep breath, savoring her scent. He brushed through the hair around it with his talon, circling her entrance, letting the nub of his finger glide over the hood over her clitoris.

Jane sucked in a sharp breath and let her legs fall open even wider. He moved up and his mandibles caressed the skin on her thighs. He let his tongue dip forward, circling her wet opening. He could feel heat emanating from her the longer he stroked around, almost but not quite touching the part he knew she wanted him to. Her breath came in pants and just when he could feel her getting impatient, he took a long, slow lick over her clitoris.

She whimpered, arching her back and Garrus had to hold her hips still so that he wouldn't nip her with his teeth. He kept on stroking, licking up her delicious juices that flowed out of her sheath. Stretching his tongue, he dipped deep into her, stroking upwards against the inside. She cried out in a throaty yell that made him heat up inside. The blankets flew off her, her hands grabbing and pulling at the fabric. He did the same move again, noting her reaction. She whimpered, panted and yelled, her whole body tense and moving erratic as if a current made her twitch. He intensified his ministrations, determined to make her yell loud enough for the whole ship to hear.

Another lick over her clitoris, circling and flicking it and he got his wish. She screamed out, her back arching off the bed and he just kept on licking up her juices.

She whimpered, "Oh Garrus, you... oh gods..."

"Not done," he growled, layering a deep purr into his voice. She gasped and her fingernails were scratching over his fringe. She twitched and pushed against his mouth, whimpering incoherently and occasionally calling out his name. To hear his name said like this, while she writhed in ecstasy, was the most beautiful sound in the world. He kept on licking and purring until she screamed again, the tension rippling through her body.

Finally she moved to the side and Garrus took that as his cue to stop his caress and scooted upwards to lay beside her. His own arousal was quite obvious but he was happy to ignore it when he looked at Jane, sweaty and still panting, smiling at him.

"Gods, Angel, you are the greatest, the master of sex!" she panted, still out of breath and her voice hoarse from screaming.

Garrus couldn't stop his smug grin at that praise. "That's the kind of master I like to be."

She leaned over and pulled his head towards her and kissed him, hard and urgent.

"Love you, Angel."

"I love you too."

Garrus managed to haphazardly pull a blanket over them before they both fell into a deep and satisfied sleep.

Thanks to Credete for jumping into editing right away even though I never even gave a warning.

Thank you all you wonderful readers for staying with me and this story. Thank you for favoriting and commenting, you are all the best!

See you in the next year!