Dean sat on the floor clutching his head in his hands. He felt like he was underwater.
"When I experienced the moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever"
"The one thing I want — it's something I know I can't have"
"Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being"
"You fought for this whole world for love"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
It was ringing in Dean's head, ringing, and ringing, and ringing… Somewhat distantly he thought that it felt like he was underwater, but not like those visions he had when Michael was inside him. No, no, then he was fighting, then he was angry, then he had the fight in him. But this… He felt sick. And weak. Even thinking about getting up from the floor was hard. Actually, thinking about anything was hard because of this never-ending litany of I love you-s he had in his head.
The phone rang. Sammy. He looked at the screen, blankly, like he wasn't really there, like it all wasn't real — him, Sam, Jack, God, the fucking end of the world. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing was left in him. He wanted to cry, to scream, to start throwing things like he did when Kevin died, but he was completely frozen, like a block of solid ice in space. Minutes passed, but he never moved, never said anything, just remembering Castiel's… no… his face and his words. Even thinking his name was so painful that he just couldn't deal.
After what felt like an eternity in permafrost, he heard Sam entering the room.
"Dean! What happened?" — he heard, but couldn't lift his head or make any movement at all.
"Dean! Where's Cas?" — hearing this, Dean clenched his teeth. He couldn't say it out loud. Just like he couldn't say the most important thing in his life.
"Dean?" — he heard another voice. Jack… — "Dean, what…"
Suddenly the boy clutched his head and fell to his knees.
"I feel it," — he said. — "I feel it… The Empty… it…"
And then there was deafening silence. The utter devastation, utter despair was flowing through the veins of everyone in the room like pure poison.
Suddenly Dean stood up.
"Where is everybody?" — he asked, not even sure if he wanted to hear the answer. Or if he cared about the answer.
Sam flinched, as if in sharp pain, swallowed like his mouth was extremely dry, and started talking. Dean was barely following, still feeling like he wasn't anywhere near the surface of that cold, cold water he was drowning in, no, drowned already. He could only hear the names. Eileen, Bobby, Charlie, Donna, and so many more. None of it mattered — Dean noticed. If he wasn't so frozen, he would probably be surprised of not feeling anything. All those people were close to him, were helping him along the way, he thought they were their family. But with Ca…the angel gone it didn't matter. Even while Sam was telling him all this, he didn't really comprehend it, his vision was unfocused, and his thoughts were in complete disarray.
"We need to do something, Dean" — Sam's voice was trembling and sounded like he spoke from a great distance.
"Why, Sam?" — Dean managed to say quietly, and suddenly the feeling of being under cold water changed into something even worse. The water was boiling now, as was his skin, his blood, his soul, his mind, his whole essence. — "It doesn't matter anymore! NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE! He's gone. He's gone! To the Empty!"
Dean hit the wall in the place where the angel was taken together with Billie, and then he just continued hitting the cold concrete, like he could open a door to wherever the angel went, like he could actually do something. His fists started bleeding but he didn't stop. Sam didn't stop him. In fact, Sam looked just as frozen as Dean himself was only a minute before that.
Suddenly Jack grabbed Dean's arm.
"Please stop, Dean. We need to save…"
Dean looked back at Jack, and yelled "SAVE WHOM? We couldn't save anyone! It's over, Jack! It's over!"
"Dean, maybe we could… Summon the Empty back? Do something?" — Sam asked very quietly. — "There must be a way…"
"I know what I can do" — Dean said with sudden determination and exited the room. He went all the way to the bunker's exit like a robot — no thoughts, nothing in him. Weak. Broken. Empty.
He vaguely heard Sam and Jack shouting his name but never stopped, throwing Sam and Jack's hands off like they were nothing more than some annoying obstacle he didn't want to pay attention to.
It was dark outside, and very quiet. No sounds, no cars passing by, no birds singing. Chuck must have started erasing the world and decided to begin with people inhabiting it.
"I know you can hear me!" — Dean shouted. — "Come here, you bitch! Come and take me! This is what you want, right? Don't take me to heaven, don't take me anywhere! Come and destroy what's left of my soul! This is what you'd like to do, you bitch!"
No answer followed. Chuck didn't appear, and nothing changed. Sam slowly approached Dean from behind, as if he was afraid of scaring him away like a wild enemy, and hugged him quietly. At that point Dean's body just gave up, and he went limp in Sam's arms like a ragdoll.
"Let's carry him inside" — Sam told Jack softly.