Dean woke up with a start. He was in his room, and he must have had a bad dream because he was covered in sweat and his heart was close to jumping out of his chest. While his brain was adjusting to suddenly becoming awake, he looked at the blue can of soda at his bedside and felt a sharp pain in his veins. He remembered blue eyes filled with tears, and the words… Oh, the words…

I love you… I love you… I love you…

It was like an echo, like a prayer, but not a good one, like the one that is brought to existence by despair. Dean never thought he'd hear these words from… the angel, but then he did, and his world ended, fell into a black hole and turned into dust.

Dean heard a strange sound that got his attention. It sounded like electricity humming and crackling, with a barely heard tinkling. He followed the sound to the map room and there he saw Sam, passed out on an armchair near an empty bottle, and Jack doing… something strange.

Jack was holding one of the swords he took from the stand nearby and looking at the blade. Its parts were seemingly appearing and disappearing from existence, like it was some kind of Schrodinger's cat but without the box.

"Jack, what… What is this?" — he asked, Jack jumped and the blade suddenly vanished completely.

"I don't… Know…" — Dean heard, and Jack continued — "I think it's Chuck. Back in the hiding place with all the others I saw a plant turning black and disappearing".

"He's done with humans then" — Dean lifted Sam's bottle to see if maybe some alcohol was left. There was none.

"What are we going to do now, Dean?" — Jack asked, his voice was trembling. Dean realized that Jack was very scared and as utterly devastated as he himself. They both were grieving because they loved the same person more than anyone in the world, hell, more than the world, the reality itself.

"I don't know, Jack. But before all this ends, I need to tell you something. I couldn't tell Ca…" — he held his breath and continued — "I couldn't tell your father, but at least you will hear it. Please listen and don't say anything"

Dean sat at the table in front of sleeping Sam and motioned Jack to sit near him. Jack obeyed.

"I know what you think about your role in all this. About me, Sam, and…" — Dean closed his eyes. — "Anyway, I know. I can't give you a motivational speech because I don't believe in anything anymore, but I want you to know this: you are like a son to me, Jack. No, you are my son. The thing with sons… No matter what they do, their parents forgive them. I was angry at you, at Ca… at him for a long time, true. But his last words… What he said to me… Jack, I'm sorry. You didn't have to sacrifice yourself from the very start, I should have been there to protect you. I should have been protecting you like… Like he was. He did this for me, he did so much for me. I'm sorry that I let him carry this burden alone while chasing monsters, killing death, chasing gods, trying to punish all the evil in existence. I wasn't there for him. Even during his last moments… I… failed… So, I just want to set one thing right. Jack, I… I don't blame you anymore. I won't lie, I did, for a while, but not anymore. Everything is going south and will probably end. I want you us to make peace before it happens."

Jack looked at Dean sadly and asked: "Did he say anything? Before he… um…"

Dean closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. He opened his mouth and tried to speak but he couldn't. He wanted to stop existing, to stop being himself. Jack was just looking at him awkwardly, keeping silence.

They sat in the dark room lit only by an old dim lamp, and everything fell so still, so dead. Jack got up and left to his room.

Nothing would be fine. Everything was at an end. There was no purpose anymore.

Dean looked up and saw the reflection of the light in Sam's open red eyes. He lost Eileen, too — Dean reminded himself.

"You need to tell him, Dean. He deserves to know" — Sam whispered.

"What about me, Sam? What do I deserve? He… What he said before he…" — Dean swallowed. — "I couldn't kill Death. It was a stupid plan from the beginning. We ran back to the bunker, and Billie was chasing us. Ca… He dragged me to the dungeon, closed the door with some kind of a seal, and it wasn't going to last for a long time, just bought us some time. Billie was dying already because her blade was poison for her. I thought she was going to kill us both, but then he… He made a deal with the Empty, Sam, did it to save Jack. It was supposed to take him back, for good this time, when he "experienced the moment of true happiness". I was… I was surprised, Sam, and I didn't even say…"

Sam frowned.

"A moment of true happiness? But… you were cornered, and the situation was horrible, how… What happened?" — he asked.

"This… He…" — Dean was starting to hyperventilate. — "He started saying all those things, about me being a good person, not, as he said, my father's blunt instrument. He said that I did everything because of… love. And then he…"

Dean couldn't say it. Those three words were cursed. Everyone who said those words to him died. They all should have just abandoned him. The Apocalypse should have happened. The angels would be safe then. Fuck humanity, they're all gone now anyway, because of Chuck.

"Did he tell you how he felt about you?" — Sam guessed. He looked scared.

"He did, Sam. He did. And then the Empty took him, and I didn't say it back." — the tears were hot, so hot that he felt like his face was melting off. Dean hid his face in his hands and started shaking.

"Dean… Do you love him?" — Sam asked.

Love him… Love him… Love him…

The ringing was unbearable.

"Of course, I fucking do! Does it matter now? I never said it! Not once!" — Dean jumped out of his chair, clenching his fists, still crying. — "What is this bullshit? He said that happiness was in just saying it, but all it did was taking him away from me! Why would he make this stupid deal? He knew, he knew about those cosmic consequences! He knew exactly how it would end and he still did it! He left Jack… us… HE LEFT ME ALONE!"

Sam tried to approach Dean, putting his empty palms in the air as if trying to pacify a child in a tantrum, but Dean angrily threw his hands away.

"I'm sorry." — they heard. Jack was back. — "You lost Mary because of me, and now you lost Castiel because of me."

Hearing the name made Dean flinch.

Castiel… Castiel… Castiel… CASTIEL!

Dean didn't realize that he started yelling his angel's name loudly as if in an attempt to suppress the ringing. Suddenly he remembered what Castiel said when he returned from the Empty before. He heard a voice calling him, so maybe… Just maybe…

"Castiel, please, come back!" — Dean screamed at the top of his lungs. — "Come back RIGHT NOW! I need you! I… I…"

His voice broke, and he whispered, like a prayer: "I love you, too. Please, come back…"

The room fell silent. Nothing happened. Completely drained, Dean slid down the wall to the floor. He wasted his last speck of hope, and felt like he wasn't himself anymore. If Chuck appeared in the room at that moment, Dean would have done anything he said to just stop it. He would have begged him for death, no, for utter destruction. Death wasn't enough. They wouldn't meet even in death because only the angels go to the Empty. His tears were turning to ice and he felt like he was freezing again.

Jack uttered a scream, but Dean didn't care, he just wanted to keep lying there, on the floor, until his body started to rot.

"Dean!" — Sam sounded so panicked, that Dean cracked his eyes open to look at him, and then shifted his gaze to where his brother was looking. Jack was… blinking in and out of existence. Just like the sword he saw in Jack's hands before, but this time every disappearance of a part of his body was silent, there was absolutely no sound. Arm, foot, shoulder, part of the stomach — soon the blinking became so fast that Dean couldn't follow it anymore. Suddenly Jack disappeared completely, taking a neatly round circle of space with him, along with the half of the map table. The lightbulb in the lamp exploded and it became dark and quiet.