[canonverse]
In hopes, you are on the other side,
Talking to me too.
Love was like another meaningless shout in the void to me. Something that never fulfilled me, not at least long enough to be mine. Never completed me. It was always taken away from me. Never mine, forever. You see, this night I reside in can neither be defined nor be defied by sunshine. Light can only cause chaos inside of me. It can only extinguish parts of me. And so you and me, darkness and light, can never really be together without one of us having to relinquish.
My only companion was the moon.
Breaking your heart was the last thing I wanted to do that night. All I longed for was you to be at safe and I figured that could never be possible if we were together, if I took you with me. The moment I got stuck with this realization, my heart clenched at the thought of imagining a life where I couldn't be next to you every other day. It was hard. Coming into terms with the fact that ceasing each other's sanity was all our common point. But I knew if we carried on what we had any longer, it would be the death of me, us, and my revenge. So when you confessed again, I put you to sleep, again.
Although it was the same love you have for me that helped me gather the courage to carry the broken pieces of my heart and depart from your life once again when I didn't deserve it.
I needed to become a better man, for you.
The memories we shared still linger at the back of my mind. The guilt of splitting your heart into two along with countless other curses that hang upon me makes me want to end this burden, namely life, that I've been carrying since forever. The trauma of me pointing that kunai at your neck still haunts me, the nightmares terrible. The thought of you being with someone else because I know you deserve better wakes me in the middle of the night making me curse the very moment I laid eyes upon you.
However, you were Haruno Sakura. You had made me want to live, to forget, to start over.
I wish we had never met. I wish you would've never hoped of bringing me out of the darkness I am made up of. I wish you had never loved me. How I wish we were never in the same team I wish I would've never fallen in love with you.
But I am glad about not all wishes becoming true because I am selfish and for that I have a place to call home, which leads me to you.
I am home, Sakura.
end
a/n: one of the first pieces I wrote. this is too old.